Thanks to mike for sending me this article from the swiss french newspaper. I have no idea what it says.
72 Responses to “Swiss article”
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Well – it’s in French – I know that much.
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I did a rough translation so our Prophet (Pasta Be Upon Him) understands what the Swiss say about Him. Admiral Chiflado at Your service. Here it is:
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“Pastafarianism” denounces Creationism through the absurd
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UNITED STATES. Horrified by the decision of the State of Kansas in 2005 to teach Creationism at school, a citizen created the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The school authorities had decided that “Intelligent Design”, aimed at explaining the world’s creation by a superior being, should be taught as an alternative to Darwin’s evolutionism, which has traditionally been part of the school curricula. To counter-attack through the absurd, the physicist Bobby Henderson sent an open letter to the authorities in order to explain that “Pastafarianism” should also be taught in science classes. According to this theory, the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. And the believers are promised a paradise with a stripper factory and a beer volcano.
The information had been picked up by the site BoingBoing, and had gained momentum from then on. A creationist named Ken Hovind had offered 300.000 francs to anyone who could provide an “empirical proof for the evolution theory”. The site reacted by offering 1.2 million francs to anyone who would “provide empirical evidence demonstrating that Jesus is not the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster”! We’re still waiting…
Sébastien Repond
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*below the picture*
More and more people believe in His Flying Holy Nooddleness
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My French is poor, but I’ve taken a stab at it. Errors will be plenty, anyone more fluent please correct.
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Pastafarianism denounces creationism by parody
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USA. A citizen upset by the decision of the state of Kansas, taken in 2005, has created the church of the FSM. The school authorities had decided that ID, that states that the world was created by a superior being, should be taught as an alternative to evolution, traditionally part of the school curriculum. Responding with parody, physicisist Bobby henderson wrote an open letter explaining that Pastafariansim should get equal attention in science classes. According to that theorie, the universe was created by a FSM. And the followers can look forward to a paradise with stripper angels and a beer volcano.
(Then some bit about info being reposted/linked from the BoingBoing site, not sure). A creationist called Ken Hovind has offered 300000 francs to anyone who can empirically prove evolution. The BoingBoing site offers a reward of 1.2 francs to anyone who can prove Jesus is not the son of the FSM. (don’t know the last half-sentence).
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@Admiral Chiflado ☠
Thanks Admiral, the texts in our nearly-coincidingly timed posts overlap rather well, should be ok then.
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lots of dubloons up for grabs here!
In religion no one needs proof! I know JC isn’t a noodley off-shoot. That’s proof enough for me! Hand over the dosh or we’ll broadside ye. te swabs!
Arrrrr!
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so is it 1.2 francs or 1.2 million francs ?
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Good for the Swiss almost makes up for hoarding all that Nazi gold.
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@peeInMyPantz
1.2 million francs, I assume the article refers to Swiss Francs …which I like to call Fränkli :)
Should be about US$ 1 million
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@peeInMyPantz
“so is it 1.2 francs or 1.2 million francs ?”
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Sorry for that one, stick to Admirals translation, more accurate.
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!
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1.2 french franks wouldn’t be worth much. About 12p at last count…
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I’ve heard all the frenchies called Frank are worthless. It wasn’t just a typo…
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I understood Bobby Henderson!
See? my french is not so bad!
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Une usine de stripeaseuses et un volcan a biere!
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It sounds even better in French! What about Italian (the land of spaghetti)?
In Greek its:
Ena ergostasio striptitzoudon kai ena ifestio mpiras!
Any other wierd tounges out there?
ArrrrrrAmen
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My french is ok too.
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We must be more clevva than those damn fundies, as at least half of us who have replied on this thread so far speak french as a second language.
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Hoot hoot!
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So, is the reward still in francs or has it been updated to euros? Bit of a bummer if you win it in coins that can’t be spent.
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Or do the swiss still use old money?
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I think the swiss do. In fact they must do cos they’re not in the EU are they??
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@Jennyanydots
switzerland didn’t join the euro zone and i bet 1.2 million swiss francs that they’ll never do it
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@Pluto. This morning, I read your post after I read the e-mail. Sorry.
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If you are not mad, can I call you this afternoon?
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swizzerland is a political island, is not member of the eu and therefore they still have their swiss francs as currency.
funny you call it “old money” as no one here in .eu would call the euro “new money” *g*
@thalassophobic: the fundis you are talking about have their own foreign language: latin!
@Any other wierd tounges out there?
german: eine stripperinnenfabrik und ein biervulkan
hungarian:egy prostituálta gyár es egy söri vulkán
and italian: una fabbrica dell’estrattore e un vulcano della birra
Arrrrgh!
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una fabbrica dell’estrattore e un vulcano della birra!!!
Now that’s music to my ears!
CC
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@ enzoo, the euro isn’t called new money, but in Ireland at any rate, the punt would be considered old, now that it’s been replaced
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egy prostituálta gyár es egy söri vulkán
translated back into English this comes out as
Whore omlette and a poor old Mr. Spock omlette too!
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@enzoo – nincs kurvak ottan
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“stripper factory and beer volcano” in even more languages (we might have our gospel translated in all the world’s languages very soon if we go on like that):
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Spanish: una fábrica de artistas de striptease y un volcán de cerveza
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Indonesian: pabrik penari telanjang dan gunung berapi bir
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Mandarin Chinese: 脱衣舞工厂和啤酒火山 (tuōyīwǔ hé píjiǔhǔoshān)
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Oops, I forgot something in the transliteration of the Chinese translation, it should be:
tuōyīwǔgōngchǎng hé píjiǔhǔoshān
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I am using Firefox now! I can see all the little weird signs that you use.
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The little weird signs are Chinese characters and Latin characters with some unusual diacritics :)
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Sorry enzoo – “old money” is the term my folks use to describe pre-decimal currency here, along with “proper money”. It’s obviously sunk in somehow, and resurfaced when I wrote that message.
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@ CC – “Mr Spock omlette”! thanks for the giggle.
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I know, the thing is that I was using Internet Explorer and for some reason it won’t show the signs
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@Captain Codpiece – the Hungarian word for egg is tojas, so your translation is kinda, sorta, wrong. It’s more along the lines of ‘one prostitute factory and one beer-ish vulcano.’ I do believe our friend enzoo does not have the proper word for stripper…unless of course all strippers are prostitutes in Hungary.
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In Portuguese: uma fábrica do strip-teaser e um vulcão da cerveja
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And in my own native language: een stripperfabriek en een biervulkaan.
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The italian version is wrong as well, since stripper should translate into “spogliarelliste” and not to “estrattore”, which is a machine used in the metallurgy sector (don´t know where did you get that from…?). Hence the correct version is:
Una fabbrica di spogliarelliste ed un vulcano di birra
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I’m swiss (french speaking), and this article helped me discovering The Truth.
So I founded a branch of the Church half an hour later, at http://www.pastafarisme.org.
The original article can be read here, and you can translate it with Google for even more fun :
http://www.lematin.ch/pages/home/actu/monde/actu_monde__1?contenu=310164
Another solution would be to learn french, but this means learning something about the rest of the world …
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sorry about the inaccurateness, i did my (obviousley poor) best, since both hungarian and italian are not my native languages; but you can be sure, that the german translation is correct :-)
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@jenny – here in austria we sometimes say “real money” meaning our former curreny before the euro, the “schilling”, and i remember i heard that in germany too ;-)
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Una Fábrica de desnudistas y un volcán de cerveza! OOOOHHH si!
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@ enzoo
deine Übersetzung ist nur fast korrekt, Nomen werden groß geschrieben :p
eine Stripperinnenfabrik und ein Biervulkan
tut mir Leid wenn ich so pedantisch bin :D
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@admiral chiflado
mit der eigenen muttersprache darf man grosszügig sein, oder? ich jedenfalls schreibe privat nur noch klein und ohne ß – sind wir nicht alle piraten? eben. :-D
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blue bla blley blue. that sounds french right??
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Finnish: stripparitehdas ja oluttulivuori
Swedish: en stripperfabrik och en ölvulkan
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I vote for the Italian version so far.
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Gibberish: A;idsu;faewjlkjoadfaye 8epajdf 839oljasdj alksdjfoiendlsakjl;asdjfna.
fundieish: derrrrrrr the peoples at my church says that Haeaven is close ta gawd N dey shed no, some o dem gots dem a hunert on dem der SATs uhhhhh
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Those are the only two languages that I can translate “volcano” and “stripper” into…
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@ Admiral Chiflado
Nach ein paar Stunden in Biervulkanhimmel ist man sowieso zu betrunken, um groß zu schreiben… ;)
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@ Spaghetti Scientist
hahaha, stimmt, das müsste dann so klingen:
ne stribberinnnnnfabrig unnnnnn biervulgan :-)
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AC, you brought it to the (northern german drunk ;-) ) point, but shouldnt we return back to the language we all know (more or less *g*), namely english?
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Here’s the whole thing in Greek, as most of the scriptures of another certain faith might respect it a bit more!
I don’t know if this will come as gobbledy gook or not so here goes. Fingers crossed (so to speak)
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‘Ζιμαρισμός’ καταρίπτει δημιουργισμό με μέσο το παράλογο.
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ΗΠΑ. Αγανακτισμένος με την απόφαση να συμπεριλυφθεί τον δημιουργισμό στα σχολικά διδακτέα ύλη, ένας πολίτης εφεύρησε την Εκλησία του Ηπτάμενου Τέρατος Μακαρονιών. Οι σχολικές αρχές πήραν την απόφαση να διδαχτεί ‘Ευφυές Σχεδιασμό’ (οποιός εξηγεί την δημιουργία του κόσμου από ένα υπέτατο ον) ως αναλακτική θεωρεία του δαρβινιστική εξέλιξη η οποιά υπάρχει παραδοσιακά μέρος των διδακτέων υλών. Να αντεπιτηθεί μέσο της παροδίας ο φυσικος Bobby Henderson έστειλε ανοικτό γράμμα στης αρχές προτείνοτας οτι Ζιμαρισμό θα έπρεπε να επίσης στην τάξη των επιστιμών. Σύμφωνα με την θεωρεία αυτή το σύμπαν δημιουργήθηκε από ένα ηπτάμενο τέρας μακαρονιών. Οι πιστοί ανταμείβονται σε ενα παράδεισο γεμάτο εργαστήρια στριπτιτζούδων και ηφαίστεια μπύρας. Η πληροφωρία δημοσιεύτηκαν στο διαδυκτιακό σελίδα BoingBoing και μαζεύει όλο και πιο πολύ ορμή από τότε. Δημιουργιστής ο Ken Hovind έχει προσφέρει 300,000 Ελβετικά φράγκα σε οποιονδήποτε που να αποδείξει εμπειρικά την ορθότητα της εξέλιξης. BoingBoing αντέδρασε προσφέροντας 1.2 εκάτ. Ελβετικά φράγκα σε οποιονδήποτε που να αποδείξει εμπειρικά οτι ο Χριστός δεν ήταν γιός του Ηπτάμενου Τέρατος Μακαρονιών. Περιμένουμε ακόμα… εξελίξεις!
Sebastian Repond
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Όλο και περισότεροι πιστεύουν… εις Την Ιερά Ζιμαρικότηα Του Ύψιστου Ιπταμενού
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Well it’s up on my screen in Greek and it looks OK.
CC
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It’s Greek with internet explorer anyway
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@ Captain Codpiece
I hope that’s classical Greek :p
Can anyone do Latin and ancient Hebrew translations?
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@Admiral Chiflado
The last bit (εις Την Ιερά Ζιμαρικότηα Του Ύψιστου Ιπταμενού) is in what’s called ‘kaine’ which is the language used in the New Testament. And is my adaptation of the phrase “His Flying Holy Nooddleness” into a Byzantine incantation and should be sung in the style of a Greek Orthodox Priest.
The rest unfortunately is in modern Greek. It would take a bit longer for me to do the whole thing in kaine since it does not lend itself very well to modern styles of writing. I also took a few liberties with the taext and added a couple of puns. Since the Greeks use the word for evolution and development almost interchangably I turned the “We’re still wating” into “We’re waiting for… Evolutions” or developments. Believe me, in Greek it’s really quite funny!
CC
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Grosse Beer!
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A couple of youTube clips along from the one on the article is this brilliant Jefferson Airplane meets AC/DC spoof!
don’t miss this!!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TagemN7kkw
CC
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Russian – фабрика стриппера и вулкан пива
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Japanese – ストリッパーの工場及びビール火山
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At least according to babelfish anyway. Anyone able to comment on accuracy?
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My limited knowledge of japanese only allows me to comfirm that 火山 is definitely volcano!
火 means fire ( you can check this in any book on feng shui)
山 means mountain, together they mean volcano. Quite logical really!
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The russian has all the right words but I don’t know if the grammar needs sorting.
Perhaps the стриппера and the пива should be in the genetitve.
That’s as far as I go!
CC
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Wow, you mean it worked?
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My translation guys tell me the Jap says that the factory belongs to the stripper in your version!
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The strippers staged a buy-out.
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Or babelfish doesn’t do grammar, which might be more likely. Oh well, I tried.
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The striper factory is clearly a cooperative, run and owned by the employees.
Now where’s the new hate mail? Halloween has come and gone! They should have nothing better to do, other than praying and being hypocritical of course.
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It’s all souls’/saints’ day, they’re probably at church
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We should be getting loads of hate mail saying we are devil worshippers for celebrating halloween.
I love those ones – the “how we can worship what we don’t even believe in” just sails above their heads like a ghostly pirate ship! :D
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At church – yeah right! I think not with most of their language!
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They have to keep up with the lip-service Booty, imagine if their pastor went too long without getting his ass kissed…
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More likely than them being at school though, Booty
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I’d say some Fundies consider church to be school
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@storm petrel Nov 1st, 2007 at 4:35 am: “It’s all souls’/saints’ day, they’re probably at church”
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Since most of our dear fundies come from protestant circles, I can’t imagine them being at church at All Saints, since protestants don’t do saints stuff… it’s more of a catholic thing. Maybe most fundies prefer Halloween to All Saints!
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I guess they take the day off anyway, especially when it’s an official holiday! In an earlier life I’ve done some bluecollar work where I had muslim collegues, and they never refused the little presents the boss gave on occasion of more or less xian holidays, like Saint Nicolas (you know, the inspiration for Santa Claus), or Easter. They didn’t make a fuss about the holidays either…
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@ Jennyanydots:
automatic machine translations like Babelfish don’t do grammar at all, or if they do it’s a catastrophe (the program would have to actually UNDERSTAND the input text and reformulate the meaning into the target language to obtain a good translation). That said, you can have loads of fun translating texts back and worth and comapring the original text with the result :-)
Personally, my favourite is the translation of the term “football fans” into German as “Fußballventilatoren” :D
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I remember James Burke (of Tomorrows World fame) saying his computer translated the phrase “out of sight, out of mind” into russian and back and it came out “invisible idiot”!
THere must be hundreds of these!
CC
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Invisible idiots, or mistranslation?
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Could wish some of the idiots were a bit more invisible sometimes.
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But then you wouldn’t be able to see them to avoid them, if they were mute as well as invisible though…
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And preferably with no fingers, just to stop them typing…
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Hey !
I’m french and the translation of the press article is very good.
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