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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
Jácob
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Just click “show all” and it’s back to normal for you.
I think all women should have a “show all” button on their foreheads.
Just for my personal amusement of course.
@ Peter they don’t come with it from the factory, but you can buy one at a jewelry store, the bigger it is the more effective.
Hey!…Actually…well…sometimes…true
Fool Nov 28th, 2007 at 12:11 am
“@ Peter they don’t come with it from the factory, but you can buy one at a jewelry store, the bigger it is the more effective.”
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I agree, I invested in one of those years ago.
I’d recommend anybody to do the same,
Thing is after years and years, they become less “user friendly”
And expect “upgrades” an’ stuff.
Even that is fair, and is warranted because you shouldn’t expect
something for nothing, even after the original investment things do
require maintenance.
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I just think it’d be really cool to walk around pushing those types of buttons at times.
hahahaaahah what the hell?
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
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Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with
a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
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By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
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P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
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P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
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P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
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P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
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P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
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P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
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P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
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P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.
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P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
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P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
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P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on rightwing after brief search.
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P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
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P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
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P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
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And the best one for last………………
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P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Wow!
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I’ve sent nearly a week’s worth of evenings reading each and every post in this crazy, crazy forum. I’ve copied an awful lot of the ’sicker’ jokes, and laughed heartily.
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Congratulations to everyone who submitted an entry - now here’s mine:
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(Catholics may want to skip this one…
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Here it comes…
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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar - and that’s just the first guy!
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:-)
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rAmen Noodly Ones!
@Pasta Dutchie–I’m sending that one to my friends!
Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital. The doctor says to the old man, “I’ll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample.” The old man says, “What?” So the doctor says it again. Once again the old man says, “what?” So the doctor yells it, “I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!” With that the old woman turns to the old man and says, “He needs a pair of your underwear!”
A new bride went to her doctor for a check up. Lacking knowledge of the male anatomy, she asked the doctor “What’s that thing hanging between my husbands legs?”
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The doctor replies “We call that the penis.” The new bride then asks “What’s that reddish/purple thing on the end of the penis?”
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The doctor replies “We call that the head of the penis. The bride then asks “What are those 2 round things about 15 inches from the head of the penis?”
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The doctor replies “Lady, on him I don’t know, but on me they’re the cheeks of my arse!”
Yes! It was a very proud moment for me when I saw the new site layout. You see my friends… We have changed the face of CoFSM!
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A red neck is driving his eighteen wheeler down the road, when he sees a hitch hiker. So the trucker stops and picks up the man. While they are driving down the road, the trucker says “Hey man, you wanna see something pretty cool?” The hitch hiker says sure. So the trucker call this monkey from the back, and he makes it come up with the men.
He smacks the monkey up side his head, and the monkey gives him a blow job!
After he cyms, the trucker says “Hey man, do you want some of that?” And the hitch hiker says “Sure, but just don’t smack me so hard.”
@ rmw - Thanks!
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And for all the Anglophiles out there, another Bill & Ben joke:
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Bill & Ben are in bed. Bill turns to Ben and says:”Falob-adob-adob”
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Ben says:”If you loved me you’d swallow that…”
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rAmen.
One evening this drunk walks into a bar, sits down, and happens to notice a 12″ tall man standing on the bar. Astonished, the man asks the guy next to him; “What the hell is that?” The guy next to him replies “He’s a pianist!”, to which the drunk replied “Horse shit, your pulling my leg” So the guy next to him picks up the 12″ man , grabs some books, and props the little man up to the piano. Sure enough, this little man started hammerin out all the favorite tunes of the bars’ patrons. Stunned, the drunk asks “That little guy is cool, where the hell did you get him”? The fella told the drunk how he had found a genie bottle out in the alley, rubbed it til a genie appeared, and was granted one wish. All of a sudden the drunk hauls ass out the back door, finds the bottle, and starts rubbing it: when all of a sudden a genie pops out and grants him one wish. In a slur, the drunk asks “I wish for a million bucks”. All of a sudden, the sky turns black and overhead a million ducks come flying overhead shittin all over him. Angrily, the drunk runs back inside, slams the door and begins cursing “You son of a bitch, I found that genie bottle and wished for a million bucks and all of a sudden there are a million ducks shitting all over my new suit.” The fella started laughing and wildly exclaimed “You don’t really think I wished for a 12″ pianist do you?”
A man was driving down an Alaskan road and his car broke down. He phoned the Alaskan Mobile Fixit Service and they arrived shortly after. He service man opened the bonnet and after a while the repair man said ” It looks like you’ve blown a seal “, the man replies “No, it’s just frost on my moustache.”
So much easier to load now.
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There were two rats living in a sewer walking along one day. Rat 1 let out a loud fed up sigh.
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Rat 2: ‘What’s wrong with you today?’
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Rat 1: ‘I’m just sick of all this shite. Shite for breakfast, shite for lunch, shite for dinner, nothing but shite, day in, day out, and I’m sick of it.’
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The second rat thinks for a moment.
Rat 2: ‘It’s not all bad, remember, it’s Saturday, tonight we’re on the piss.’
Office Holiday Memo
To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season
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Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).
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1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under “Bah humbug.”
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma’s house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.
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In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.