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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
I died…not here…I am angry…and dead.
When I feel down; I want you above me
I search myself; I want you to find me
I forget myself; I want you to remind me
I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Ooh I don’t want anybody else Oh no, oh no, oh no
You’re the one who makes me come runnin’
You’re the sun who makes me shine
When you’re around I’m always laughin’
I want to make you mine
I close my eyes and see you before me
Think I would die if you were to ignore me
A fool could see just how much I adore you
I’d get down on my knees; I’d do anything for you
I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
ahh ohh i don’t want anybody else
oh no oh on oh no yeah
Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. “She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home,” she said.
.
“What an example of devotion,” Dave replied. “I wonder if you’d be that concerned about me?”
.
“Honey,” she answered, “if you were gone overnight, and I didn’t know where you were, you can be sure I’d be waiting for you at the front door.”
You are a very good singer!
hahahaah I opened my e-mail on a different computer…I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with this one!
love myself; I want you to love me
When I feel down; I want you above me
I search myself; I want you to find me
I forget myself; I want you to remind me
.
I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
ahh ohh i don’t want anybody else
oh no oh no oh no
.
I want you
I don’t want anybody else
and when i think about you; i touch myself
ooh ooOoh ooOoh aaaaahhhh
.
I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Ooh I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
.
I touch myself
I touch myself
I touch myself
I touch myself
I touch myself
I touch myself
.
I honestly do
I touch myself
I touch myself
.
.
Special thanks to Blondie for the original.
Some women are worth singing about :)
OH….you are such a sweetheart.
.
Hey…I found the problem: I was too full of cookies, so I got rid of them! ha! I am so smart sometimes…sometimes…
.
I have a joke!
.
If I put nuts on a wall are they…..walnunts?
If I put nuts on your chest are they ….chestnuts?
If I put nuts on you chin…what do you call them?
Wait…that wouldn’t come out right…
I don’t know. What are they called lover
If it was my nuts on your chin… I’d be very happy ;)
Nothing, that is just my dick in your mouth…
.
hahahahaahahaahahahahaahaha…just to make it clear..I don’t have a dick..but I still thought it was quite funny…As I stated before…not good with jokes
hahahahahahahaahahahahahahhahaahahaha
A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
.
Man: “What are you doing here today?”
Woman: “Oh, I’m here to donate some blood. They’re going to give me $5 for it.”
Man: “Hmm, that’s interesting. I’m here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25.”
.
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. A couple months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.
.
Man: “Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?”
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] “Unh unh.”
A man from the Internal Revenue Service knocks on a door and it is opened by a little boy. The man asks the boy, “Where is your mother?” The boy states, “She’s in the backyard, screwing the goat.” The man exclaims, “Son, it’s not nice to make up stories like that!” The boy says, “Come on in and I’ll show you.” So the taxman follows the little boy to the back of the house and looks out the window into the backyard. There, he sees a woman screwing a goat. Disgusted, he turns to the boy and says, “That is gross! Doesn’t that bother you?” The little boy answers, “Naaaaaaaaah!”