I was just curious about why it is you think that the monster is in any way equal belief to other religions. Why exactly did you begin this religion (?), what were your thoughts? I can begin to come to my own conclusions on your thought process, but i wonder if you could exlplain it to me. This subject seems to be pretty important to you, but why would you spend so much time to take hope or beliefs away from others? Do you think that you are simply much more intelligent than the many brilliant men who have come to the conclusion that God exists, or have you simply discovered something they had no access to?
Please respond to this e-mail, this is the MOST important subject any person will ever face. I would appreciate a response.
-Owen
We’re not taking hope away, but rather, giving people an alternative source of hope.
We’re just saying that god is a flying spaghetti monster.
We aren’t taking hopes and beliefs away from anyone. We are spreading His Tasty Wisdom. Its a gift to the world.
bronze! my best
Is that a bronze or a silver for me?
silver then!
DAMNIT!!! tin is stil my best though if jehova’s witness’s can convert others so can we
I thought the MOST important subject anyone could face (or at least a wench) was landing strip vs. brazilian.
How is this religion any worse than any other?
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“this is the MOST important subject any person will ever face
Tell that to my Differential Equations/Physics/Ultimate Frisbee prof.
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“the many brilliant men who have come to the conclusion that God exists”
Could you please name one (a brilliant man who believes in god)?
I forgot a ” somewhere in there. See if you can find it, it’s gonna be a good time!
It’s annoying to be asked for a response, even via someone else, and not be able to give it directly. Well, anyway.
As lilwench said, we aren’t setting out to take away others beliefs, just provide an alternative. Even those few who prefer to think of or reference their true knowledge of the FSM as a parody only are only just trying to support something logically, and prevent others from pushing illogic, especially on young children.
And the “many brilliant men” you bring up are far less numerous than the brilliant men who believe otherwise. In any case, the argumentum ad verecundiam (argument from authority) is a type of logical fallacy.
If this was F1 I would get 4 points. I’ll pretend since there is no medal for being 5th.
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@lilwench - landing strip vs. brazilian is not that hard. They both win, I assure you!
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“…the many brilliant men who have come to the conclusion that God exists…” Owen is referring to us, the pastafarians! Don’t forget the wenches Owen, they are also brilliant. They are even more brilliant if they fashion a landing strip or brazilian.
Wrrrooommmmmmm!!!!
That is the sound of Nospoon passing me on the last lap ant leaving me with only 3 points.
Nospoon beat you by 5 minutes, that’s more like a tortoise crawling by.
Ok, correction…
crrawwll crraaaawwlll (imagine that a tortoise crawling makes that sound). Next time I should secure my spot on the podium and then get on with the interview. Speaking of the podium, I felt the touch of His Noodliness in Kimi Räikkönen’s formula victory. I know he is the driver most fond of grog and probably doesn’t shun the strippers either.
@El Peatieablo - “Could you please name one (a brilliant man who believes in god)?” Well, I think Einstein for one but there are also a large number of non-Christian brilliant persons.
@Owen - what have you discovered that say, Ramanujan was wrong? He was certainly brilliant and non-Christian.
@Ephriam A. Jostle
I don’t think Einstein believed in the christian god. And even if he did, the point was to have Owen tell me. I wanted to see if he could actually give a name that fit the bill (not his local religious leader, for instance). I wasn’t saying that there were no brilliant christians (I think Chaucer could fit the bill), the sheer number of christians almost guarantees that some of them have been exceptionally smart in the last 2000 years.
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I also thought that a direct challenge might help to get him to post again, so that a discussion could start up. :)
Owen- Why would our beliefs not be equal to yours? Also why do all xtains completely for gtet this little part of the bible:”Ye have heard that it hath been said, ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.’ “But I say unto you, ‘Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and them which despitefully use you, persecute you, that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven”
@lilwench-haha…I too thought the was the most important question.
Who is taking people’s beliefs away from others? No, thats what The Crusades and most Missionaries were about. Here, people have chosen to believe in FSM and all its meaty noodle greatness
@ lilwench
Now there Is a deeply philosophical subject! Plus, if you go Brazilian, that leaves nothing left to dye for greater effect, although there is much to be said for a smooth landing.
As for taking away others’ beliefs, I nearly had an aneurism (sp?) when my kids came home from public school singing Glory Glory Halelujah or some such religious drivel! Ok, God Bless America I can grit my teeth and bear, but that piece of religious garbage?!? I would much rather be contemplating the next decorating scheme for my nether regions than listening to my kids being brainwashed in public schools in a place where ID is not even an issue! yet!
The Roman emperor Flavius Valerius Aurelius Constantinus aka. Constantine the Great was actually a truly brilliant christian, for he used the religion to fight wars more effectively and gain more power. And I don’t mean that his purposes were extremely admirable. Nonetheless using the religion in this cunning manner was brilliant. He is the only person that I can come up with, that I consider to be brilliant *because and although* he turned to christianity.
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Try to break down the meaning of “Do you think that you are simply much more intelligent than the many brilliant men who have come to the conclusion that God exists, or have you simply discovered something they had no access to?”
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Most brilliant christians are raised christian. Not likely do they come to the conclusion that God exists, they assume it since they are very young and never (publicly) abolish the assumption they learned as children. The reason I am pointing out Constantine is that we pastafarians outnumber Emperor Constantine. Unless someone points out more people like him that “have come to the conclusion that God exists”, many will not be an adequate description of the group that Owen refers to in his letter.
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And with this language analysis i bid you all good night.
Raikkonen prefers inflatable dolphins with his strippers.
True story.
I used to worship Thor God of Thunder.
But then I fortunately found the Flying Spaghetti Monster, who really is GOD.
I’m so thankful that I found the TRUTH !
rAmen
Oh, yea I forgot some exclamation marks in my previous post. Here they are:
!!! well maybe one more !
I have found the louder and more affirmative you are the more true it is.
How do we fight the brainwashing going on through these so-called “patriotic” songs that have nothing to do with country and everything to do with christianity? Some help here please? I may have to go postal and rip the school’s songbooks to shreds soon if I don’t find some sane way to combat this vile filth.
Um…Wench Cyka… I don’t know how to break this to you, but… ripping the school’s songbooks (along with other violations of the first amendment) to shreds actually is a sane way to combat said vile filth. Just remember to wear cut resistant gloves, papercuts hurt.
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On another note, how is it that fundies keep missing the first amendment? It’s the FIRST one! They are all for the second amendment, but they must have gone past the first one to get there! These are schools, the teach you how to count. What’s the first number you learn to count? ONE! Hmmm, on second thought a bonfire might be more efficient than gloves…
As far as I’ve seen, Intelligent Christians know that their belief in “GOD” is a personal thing. Something they feel, something they believe. A conscious decision that they made not based on the evidence but based on … well I don’t know what but whatever it was they aren’t egotistical enough to think that their reasoning will work for anyone else.
There are however an almost limitless supply of seemingly cleaver, charismatic and basically evil Xtians that either believe uncritically or cynically because of the power and position it gives them over the people that can’t be bothered to think for themselves (such as, apparently, our friend Owen)
@Wench Cyka
It’s annoying to encounter religion in schools in whatever form, but I don’t really think outdated patriotic songs are likely to convert anyone. I too liked “Battle Hymn of the Republic” (the song with chorus “Glory Glory Hallelujah”) as a second grader, mostly because it’s about a battle, and it has pretty good music. Despite this (and all the other religious songs I sang in church as a young child) I’ve still settled on atheism with FSM affiliation as my religion. Schools, in addition to occasionally disseminating Christian-biased stuff, teach critical thinking skills, science, and history: all the tools kids need to dissect religious propaganda, provided we choose to make use of them.
I am “simply much more intelligent than the many brilliant men who have come to the conclusion that God exists.”
Period.
Some songs with a religious theme are simply also very good songs :) Appreciate the music, not neccesarily (hmm) the words.
*
And I’m not taking anything away, I’m trying to give an alternative :) A much nicer, kinder, more intelligent, tastier on too!
We aren’t trying to take the hopes & beliefs away from others, unless the others’ hopes & beliefs involve teaching about talking snakes & humans made from some dirt & a rib as science.
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Read the open letter & you might realise that.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of The Bleeding Obvious
Okay, see, I might be willing to grit my teeth and accept my kids signing songs that I made up lude lyrics to many decades ago, but when my 7 year old son comes home asking me if I am going to hell because I don’t believe in this “God” well, it does bring out the urge to insist MY lyrics be taught as well, as a “scientific alretnative” to that religious garbage!
Argh! Dyslesxia rearing its ugly head when I get in a royal mood! I meant Alternative!
Alretnative sounds cooler though, you should keep it that way, even if your lysdectic
Did you konw you can mix up the ltertes of wrdos in a sctennee and as lnog as the frsit and lsat lretets are in the rgiht pacle, poplee can uluslay raed waht yru’oe snyaig ayanwy?
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Well that’s the theory anyway.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Questionable Claims
Dude, that’s not very nice, I could read every word, and it took me until halfway through to realise there was anything wrong with it!
There was a study done a while ago about that to show that the human brain doesn’t actually read every letter but skims over them and puts the words together after.
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Owen, did someone force you to come here? Somehow I doubt it. We’re not trying to take anyone’s beliefs from them, but if you feel the need to attack us, perhaps your faith simply isn’t all that strong. If the brilliance of the followers of a given religion determine its truth, what is your answer to the brilliant men and women who follow a different god/pantheon/no god?
@original concerned poster
“I was just curious about why it is you think that the monster is in any way equal belief to other religions. ”
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Not equal to, better in the sense that we have strong empirical evidence to support our faith. Look at the graph.
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And regarding wise men who came to the conclusion that god exists: many did so when science had fewer answers yet. For instance, Newton believed in god. But then he didn’t know yet that life came about through evolution. So what was he to think then?
For a more recent selection of people with good brains let’s look at tthe Nobel prize winners in physics. 600 of them, exactly one known believer in christ.
FUCK! Good hatmail and I’ve actually got work to do for a change!
Be back later for my 2 bits worth.
Stay happy guys an girls
Owen
“why it is you think that the monster is in any way equal belief to other religions.”
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Equal belief? What is that? Belief in the FSM is a far superior belief than those held of other false gods!. Those other myths don’t even come close to equaling the truth of His Noodlyness.
“have you simply discovered something they had no access to?
‘
Yes! His Noodlyness, the Magnificent FSM only directly passed on His creation feats to our Prophet Bobby! You know like God and Moses?
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I believe!!
RAmen
DPG
“Not equal to, better in the sense that we have strong empirical evidence to support our faith. Look at the graph.”
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Hehehehe…you just beat me to it! :)
Not just wenches. Most pirates would be happy to face either of those.
Pirates don’t just eat pasta you know.
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This is a classic confused xian argument.
The real question is whether what they hope or believe is true.
It would be wrong the scare, control, trick and take money from people people with lies.
So these hopes and beliefs have to be genuine to be acceptable.
If they’re not true it would be entirely reasonable to spend time saving people from the mendacity of organised religion.
why would you spend so much time to take the hope or beliefs away from others?
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We face this question every day at work - we have just found out that someone has Cancer and it is too far gone to be cured so they will die - so by your reasoning (@original poster) do we not tell them as it will take hope away from them?
In my experience most people want to know the truth - however unpalatable it may be.
Spaghetti however, is very palatable indeed!
“this is the MOST important subject any person will ever face”
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If you say so, matey… I’d have said the most important subject I’m facing right now (as in, in my idle thoughts) is how the West can continue to support the uprising in Burma against the ruling Junta to effect peaceful change in a desolated country, run primarily for the financial gain of its self-appointed leaders.
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Anyhow, no-one wants to take your hope away (unless your hope is in a fruitcakey Jehovah’s Witness “heaven has a guestlist” shape. In which case I’m nicking it and you can’t have it back), only your blinkers. It’s possible to see the world in black, white, grey and rich technicolour, to live a moral life and a good life - and to do so entirely without a Xian God overseeing the whole shebang. But no-one’s asking you to do even that. We just want the space, free of oppression, where we can practise our Pastafarianism in peace.
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Rum, sodomy and the lash
RAmen.
Ah - Rum, Sodomy and the Lash! Must get my Pogues tape out again :D
1) Xian view point: I hope that if I ask to be absolved of my sins I’ll be absolved. If I steal or kill or rape or covet the nextdoors missus or commit genocide I can ask for absolution and I get off scot free, not only that, I get into heaven.
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This is a hope that it would be prudent to take away in any society, n’est pas?
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2) Xian view point: I believe that the world was created 5000 years ago by a guy with a beard who then had a son with some other guys wife, and that this son took the wrap for all my sins so it’s actually all right for me to sin as long as I accept that he takes the punishment.
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People who believe this need psychiatric help! Not just to have thier beliefs taken away but to have them replaced with something more rational and demonstrable in order to function as responsible members of society.
From The Log of Captain Codpiece (on one of his more lucid days!)
@Wench Cyka Oct 22nd, 2007 at 8:28 pm: “How do we fight the brainwashing going on through these so-called “patriotic” songs that have nothing to do with country and everything to do with christianity?”
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Most Muricans will already know this, but the “Battle Hymn of the Republic” has an interesting “prehistory”, where it was simply “John Brown’s Body”. Nothing xian or patriotic there: just singing soldiers making fun of their collegue John Brown, from Scottish descendance, in a time when another John Brown was executed for reasons involvingsalvery abolition and such. The patriotic version came later, when a poet or poetress heard it, and put other lyrics on it.
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I found this info when looking for the original version of “Lief klein konijntje”, a stupid kids summer hit about two years ago in the Netherlands aned Flanders, to be translated as “Cute little rabbit”.
“I would appreciate a response.-Owen”
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About 50 so far, and some very clever ones too. Happy?
Fuck work! You know what time it is!
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“I was just curious about why it is you think that the monster is in any way equal belief to other religions.”
Oh please. This religion isn’t equal to any other religion. It’s far superior; we even back ours up with evidence! That’s right, evidence! You know the things you use to back up your argument so as to give your opinion credibility!? That’s right, credibility! Something you seem to be totally lacking in!
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“Why exactly did you begin this religion (?), what were your thoughts?”
Oh for fuck sake! Do I have to keep on saying this? Are all hat mailers that stupid?
I try not to lose my temper hear but seriously! We have an about page you know? Look it’s up there near the top! Open you fucking eyes!
You know shit like this doesn’t help your argument? Just make you look like an ignorant fool!
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“ I can begin to come to my own conclusions on your thought process, but I wonder if you could exlplain it to me.”
I could but it is becoming apparent that you wouldn’t understand. You can’t even click on the about tab!
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“ This subject seems to be pretty important to you,”
Actually seems more important to you, after all you did contact us.
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“but why would you spend so much time to take hope or beliefs away from others?”
Explain please. Once again I draw your attention to the fact you contacted us! We don’t force our ideas on anyone, yet still you come and accuse us of just that. That means you ether ignorant, or worst, a liar!
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“ Do you think that you are simply much more intelligent than the many brilliant men who have come to the conclusion that God exists,”
Sorry but no matter how smart you think he is you preacher is not a brilliant man. I point to the fact he hangs out with you as evidence.
Most scientist state that they can’t prove or disprove the existence of god, but generally agree it’s like nothing you can think of.
If you’re pointing to those who go for a Templeton prize (which oddly is more money then a Noble) are in it for the cash. Just like an evangelist!
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“or have you simply discovered something they had no access to?”
No we use our brains and common sense. Try it some time, you might even like it.
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“Please respond to this e-mail, this is the MOST important subject any person will ever face. I would appreciate a response.
-Owen”
Well there you go Owen. If it seems a little venomous then next time argue your point with logic and reasoning. That way you don’t look like an utter tool and I will respect you. Till then your opinion not only lacks validity, but actually exists in a validity “vacuum”.
Thanks for making me aware IQ does go into minus figure. Better luck next time.
Pluto.
PS Enjoy some complimentary pasta. If you don’t want to eat it you could always [Deleted on legal grounds]!
@Pluto
“Are all hat mailers that stupid?”
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Basically no. Sending hats through the post is not considered a sign of mental agillity but, on the other hand it is no proof of stupidity even to the degree indicated here.
CC
@Pathiefarian Wench
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I agree. Though why we’re standing by while Zimbabawe collapses in to anarchy is another important question.
But the most important question you can face in your life is:
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Before you answer that one, there is no real point in approaching any of the others.
But if you mail a hat it will get all squashed. Better to use DHL.
@ Pluto
‘We don’t force our ideas on anyone, yet still you come and accuse us of just that.’
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Not exactly true. The original FSM theory was demanded to be taught in schools if creationism was and Darwinism wasn’t. So actually we are asking that our ideas be ‘forced’ to some extent, on others.
CC
@Captain Codpiece Oct 23rd, 2007 at 2:57 am: “Sending hats through the post is not considered a sign of mental agillity but, on the other hand it is no proof of stupidity even to the degree indicated here.
CC”
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Don’t misunderestimate hat mailers: did you ever try to get a hat through with e-mail? We should rehabilitate people who are able to do that.
Aha!
I’ve bought hats by post before. I’m planning to buy a lovely tricorn for my company winter season party.
Does that make me stupid?
You can send hats by email, just print out and fold to wear!
Does anyone know of origami instructions for a tricorn hat?
@ B☠☠ty- Pam e-mailed some pics. Not interested in fish net as much now. That girl would look good in anything!
NO! We’re asking that children are allowed to make an informed choice!
@۞ Oct 23rd, 2007 at 3:05 am: “You can send hats by email, just print out and fold to wear!
Does anyone know of origami instructions for a tricorn hat?”
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Maybe in Uncyclopedia’s “How to” articles…
But would she look good in nothing?
@Captain Codpiece- I thought it was more about equal recognition?
Well, it seems that sending hats through the post IS considered a sign of metal agillity!
Hoist the Jolly Roger and head down to the post office, me lad! I be sendin’ ‘ats this ‘allowe’en!
ArrrrrrAmen!
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Now there’s a piractical piece of music. We should adopt that Album as the offical Pastafarian Requiem Mass.
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If we actually got a ship how long before it looked like the raft of the Medusa?
Hours? Days? Week? Two Weeks? Not more.
@۞- Hasn’t sent those pic yet. But I’ll keep you informed.
You just need a big box.
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As the bishop said the actress.
@۞ Oct 23rd, 2007 at 3:06 am
So actually we are asking that our ideas be ‘forced’ to some extent, on others.
NO! We’re asking that children are allowed to make an informed choice!
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Actually so are christian fundamentalists. No child is then helt to gun point and made to decant any thing except his pocket money perhaps! It’s a question of degree. Equal recognition comes from equal exposure.
CC
Yes, but as Pastafarianisum works at the moment they come to us. Until we go knocking door to door with a plate of spaghetti we will never have the same sort of exposure. And to be honest I can’t be fucked to do that.
Sorry I wasn’t too clear about about informed choice in my last post. How much information do you need to have before you can make an ‘informed’ choice? CFs seem to think not much, we reckon that if you add FSM to the equation everything will be OK. It’s not so! There needs to be, as Chris Hitchens puts it, a refusal option, (that is a choice to choose nothing at all), a choice to embrace a totally religious life style and a choice of all the grey bits in between. If we don’t have this then we don’t have a real fredom of choice.
Some choice lines there from the Cap’n!
CC
Who is fred om?
Keelhaulin’s in order! Arrrrr!
Codpiece,
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You’re overlooking the subtle (and common) deceit of the difference between ‘informed decision’ and ‘free and fully informed decision’.
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We shouldn’t waste science teaching time on non-science but that doesn’t mean that children should know about creationism so long as they understand it isn’t a scientific theory and there is no real evidence to support it as fact. Also, that in almost every area of life people agree that we shouldn’t put too much store by a single source particularly if it is known to be non-contemporaneous have no access to eye first hand eye witness accounts and be tainted by repeated editing.
….am i alone in preferring untamed natural forest instead of landing strips or “scorched earth” brazilians?
Don’t believe you. If a sexy wench came round and said “I’ll fuck you if you go door to door with a plate of spaghetti” you’d go.
I would.
So really you mean “I could be fucked to that, but that is what it would take. Being fucked.”
@Beardyoldgit
No BOG. In fact you me and Bearded Clam Admirer are all in that club.
I just said I wouldn’t mind facing the other options.
I’t’s more about an informed decision of where we all came from, because the Pastafarian creation story isn’t the same familiar and comfortable one they’ve been hearing all their lives, it comes across as a joke, but because it is so close to the judeo-christian one, the two can be compared and children may see that the reasons for rejecting one apply to the other, but not to evolution. It turns the fundie method of arguing that evolution is a lie because the theory isn’t perfect against them by showing how illogical creationism is.
@۞
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“You’re overlooking the subtle (and common) deceit of the difference between ‘informed decision’ and ‘free and fully informed decision’.
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We shouldn’t waste science teaching time on non-science but that doesn’t mean that children should know about creationism so long as they understand it isn’t a scientific theory and there is no real evidence to support it as fact. Also, that in almost every area of life people agree that we shouldn’t put too much store by a single source particularly if it is known to be non-contemporaneous have no access to eye first hand eye witness accounts and be tainted by repeated editing.”
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Sorry to get all philosophical about this but here goes. At the moment cosmology (the science dealing with the origins of the universe) is trying to answer some pretty hefty questions. You can think of the question as a kind of “What shape fits in this hole?” question. At the moment we have some of the sides defined and some others obscured or toltally invisible. FSM helps clarify one of the sides of the ‘hole’. If you have three sides of a square visible then you dont know if the final shape is a rectangle or a square or if the other side is a curve or if its only one line that’s missing. Anyway you can say for sure that it is not a circle. The Fundies are still trying to tell us it’s a circle even when anyone can see it’s not. There is no need for accounts of how some guy long ago thought it might be a circle and convinced others that it was a circle. You see, the circle is obsolete now with the tangible proof that three of the sides seem to indicate that it might be a square. That also doesn’t mean that it is a square!
How clear is that now?
Not very!
Oh well.
CC
Ahh - glad it is going well Pluto!
If you joined the group you could see my pirate photo too :)
I am doing a poll on Clams - bearded or otherwise - thanks for your input BOG!
I bought my Pirate hat through the post - but it is quite squishy anyway :)
*Booty wanders off to find her Pogues Album - do you think it is appropriate for kids? Ah - sod it!*
Owen, It’s not about the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster or its doctrines, really. It’s about a meaningful, personal relationship with His Noodlyness. I just can’t describe the change in my life since I accepted Him as my Personal Pasta Dish and Savior. I wear my wench regalia proudly, as a symbol of my unwavering faith in Him. Remember, you have heard the truth here. Now the choice is up to you. If you open up your heart to Him, he will touch you with His noodly appendage.
Can you tell I’ve been visiting Christian forums lately? Hmmmmm? I thought that you could.
@۞ Can’t argue with logic like that. So I’ll reiterate.
I can be fucked into doing that!
In fact I remember there was a Christian sect who did this, they called it “fishing for Jesus”. Can’t remember the name of the organisation.
“If you joined the group you could see my pirate photo too :” Booty how I do that?
How did they get around the whole no sex outside of marraige thing?
@ Pluto I thought Alchemist sent you an invite?
@Pluto
That was 2 cents well spent!!
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Small Change
@St John - have you had an invite to our non-existant group?
If not shoot off an email to Alchemist at prussicacid@gmail.com ;D
Oh - and get out from under our sofa cushions!!!
@Booty
Yer. I know the one. He asked me about my qualifications. I was so busy filling him in on the last 13 years worth of my education I might not have seen it. Can’t check my hotmail from work (cunts!) will have to do it tonight.
Have to pull my head together; I’ve been chain reading Richard Laymon book for the past 2 weeks. They have an effect on me. The man’s was a fucking God (fugitively speaking).
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@ storm petrel- Don’t think they were the most moral of people. The heads of the cult encouraged their follower to hand over their kids to the church elders so they could “partake of the Lords love” creepy fuckers. The were shut down very quickly when they came to England.
I’ll see if I can find something on line about the weirdo’s.
I’ll bet there was. Given the flimsy moral standards of pastafarians I thinking “fucking for the FSM” is an entirely acceptable (and enjoyable) of getting our message across.
fishing for Jesus!?!
Time to retell the fishing joke!
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A honeymoon couple go to lonely lakeside resort after the marriage.
Early in the morning, the day after they check-in the husband chats to the receptionist. Well, I’m of to fish in the lake, I really love fishing. The receptionist says ‘what about the wife?’ to which he replies “She’ll be staying bed all day she’s got septissimia and gout.’
Late in the evening the husband comes in with a basket full of fish. Well done says the receptionist, not many people catch a lot of fish in our lake!
The next morning the same happens. And the wife? asks the receptionist. “She’ll be staying bed she’s got syphilis and gangreen today!
Off he goes until quite late when he comes back with two baskets of fish. Well done! Says the receptionist. Oh I just love fishing, says the husband.
The next morning the same thing. And the wife? She’ll be staying in bed, she’s got the plague and botulism today, but , by George I love fishing!” Hang on there says the receptionist if she’s that ill why did you marry her?
The husband said, holding up a big juicy worm “If you could get that kind of bait in the shops I’d still be single!!!!!!”
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
But if you did the email probably wouldn’t get delivered because there probably isn’t a mailbox of that name.
Even if there is your message would probably get ignored or you’d get a ‘what are you talking about’ response.
That is because there is definitely not a top secret internet group of pastafarians known as the disciples of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
If there was they’d be the pastafarian equivalent of a cross between Opus Dei and the Knights Templar except for being much more ancient and a lot more fun at parties.
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It’s a pity they don’t exist.
You know, the most important question for me was: Should I buy the car or got to six flags? I went for the car.
Now I wish I had the money to go to England and visit Pluto.
@Pluto :)
I will ask him to resend just in case.
We have recently introduced an over 18’s policy, due to our habit of talking about sex all the time, so he was probably just checking that out - unless you do something really exciting that I need to know about? (I’ll go first - I’m a Urology Nurse and look at willies for a living!)
@ ۞ - great idea - when do we start?
@B☠☠ty
Cool thanks. Just sending a message off to Alchemist now.
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Oh & I can be private messaged within the FSM forums (same name) if you wanna send me any other important info.
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BTW: I’m only the Saint of what’s under your sofa cushions. The reason why they’re so lumpy either means you have lots of small change under them, or you have something else that we’d best not talk about under them. It isn’t me–Sorry.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Lumpy Cushions
Dammit.
May the Noodly one give me some money for my trip!
Hmmm - most important questions eh?
Probably should I do soup or sandwiches for lunch…
http://www.xfamily.org/index.php/Flirty_Fishing
“Flirty Fishing
Flirty Fishing (FFing) was a form of religious prostitution practiced by the Children of God/The Family cult from 1974 until it was officially discontinued in 1987 (due, in part, to the AIDS scare). Its etymology can be traced to Matthew 4:19 where Jesus says “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”
Flirty Fishing was a subset of The Family’s love bombing activities and involved the use of sexual attraction and intercourse to win converts and favors. Female members were told to be “God’s whores” and “hookers for Jesus”, and soon after its launch as a method of witnessing, sex was given to complete strangers in combination with a request for a “donation”, or for a required fee in line with Escort Servicing (ESing) or freelance ESing. FFing and prostitution was widely used as a way to raise money for the cult and resulted in many of the second generation births (known as “Jesus Babies”). Internal Family records from 1988 indicate that over 223,000 “fish” were loved sexually between 1978 and 1988.”
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Family_International#Media_featuring_the_group
Apparently River Phoenix (yes the ex-child actor who OD’ed) was in the cult and lost his virginity at 4!
Sounds like a lot of bad shit, and they are still going in other countries.
Apparently faiths all it take for some people to hand their kids over to a fucking nonce!
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Looking over what I’ve just written, I think I have a very good answer for Owen now. So hit like this doesn’t happen!
:)
I am not sure Alchemist is in right now - so you might have to wait a bit.
PM’s eh - I am a bit technologically challenged - haven’t done those before!
If it’s not you under the cushions what the FSM is it????
Probably best not to look! :D
That last one was at St John - sorry!
Booty, technically speaking your supposed to sleep with the non-pastafarians to convert them.
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But now you come to mention it, I can feel my faith slipping. Can I have a cuddle?
@Pluto - is that for real? Fucking hell!!
@ ۞ - I don’t know - where is your wife? ;P
So if she asks to see your willy, that’s professional interest.
If she asks to touch it, that’s also professional.
But if she asks to taste it, she’s doing that in her own time.
@ BOG
So on one hand you have natural forest and on the other hand you have the Brazilians/Landing Strip, no need to be fussy!
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A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.
Hmm. Sounds like I’m being fed two stories here. Mind you, to advertise a secret group where everyone can see it doesn’t sound too practical, but maybe that’s what they want you to think.
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Bugger it. If I get bombarded with junk mail it’s your fault B☠☠ty.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Conspiracy Theories
Upstairs?!
No one said we were good at keeping secrets.
Not that we have any to keep you understand because obviously we couldn’t keep it secret for long if we just posted its existence on public internet forums (thanks Booty!).
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What I do know is you won’t get junk mailed.
Junk!!! How dare you!
And we only say it’s a secret to throw the CIA off the scent of the secret plutonium factory in Cornwall.
Duh!
;P
I am going upstairs right now ۞!
*Booty scurries off*
Oh bugger- he said the wife is upstairs!
*Booty slinks awkwardly out for a bit*
Back later - I have to go and play! :( ;)
@ PacificPam- Should of gone to Six Flags. Wana vistit me? Wish I’d known before I moved back into my mums’ house (with her dogs).
I’m hoping to move to the US for a bit next year. Would be cheaper to visit me there.
Plus I can take you to Six Flags! Then all your dreams can come true at once.
@B☠☠ty- “Oh bugger- he said the wife is upstairs!
*Booty slinks awkwardly out for a bit*
Back later - I have to go and play! :( ;)”
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What with his wife!? Wow you are dirty aren’t you?