-not really hatemail or criticism, more like skepticism, but I didn’t know where to put this -
1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
3.how can FSM fly?
4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
just a few questions and facts. don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.
hey cmon, anything this funny has to be true!
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MY VIRGIN GOLD WOOHOO!!!!
sorry for typing like a fundie, I’ll be normal now, just got a little excited, hehe
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Well, the whole premise of your questions is flawed. you are trying to do that whole “prove your god exists” thing, which some of the more papered among us might do, tongue in cheek, but that’s not something that is possible. the whole idea behind the FSM is to have a bit of fun, and to prevent idiotic religious theory from being taught as science. If you step outside the box of Christianity and examine it from the outside perspective, the FSM seems very logical and a much more likely scenario. First, being all-powerful and all-knowing, any god can pretty much do whatever he feels like. Second, the whole idea that spaghetti had to be the first thing on earth for that to be the form of god is just silly; not even Christians think anything that ridiculous. They think their god created man in his image, but after he practiced on animals, kinda like scientists, hmm. I happen to think this is a very egotistical way to view man, “We’re so great, God made us in his image!” Instead, we simply believe that our god decided to take the form of a yummy delicious and filling meal. It just took him a while after creating everything to sober up enough to teach us how to make said meal in his image, for proper worship. As for the first people being midgets, hey that one IS provable. People have been steadily growing taller each century, just go to the Smithsonian or do a little online research! Hope I was somewhat helpful.
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Congratz on the *Virgin* Gold
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1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
I thought people made noodles, not the earth
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2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
So the way things happened was Earth,Rice then Noodles? The FSM has been known to mess with history, you only *think* rice came before noodles.
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3.how can FSM fly?
Would you prefer to call Him the WSM, the Walking Spaghetti Monster? He flies because that is what Omnipotent beings do, they float, fly do whatever they damn well please.
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4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
He holds Himself together with His wet noodles. Have you ever had spaghetti that didn’t clump together at some point?
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5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
I point you to my answer for #2.
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6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
Just because you don’t see them touching doesn’t mean they aren’t. Perhaps he has a hold of them from the back.
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7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
He created a midget because the earth has no gravity. He held down the midget with His Noodly Appendage so that he would not float away. After more people started to populate the Earth, He couldn’t hold everyone down at the same time so people started to grow taller.
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8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
Again I point you to the answer for #2, with Him messing with history.
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9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
Have YOU seen a god with bigger balls that Our God? We can make claims based on what we know, just like every other religion (the so called *established* ones that is) do. And why can’t we take it seriously? All the fraud religions (not Ours, it is the One True Religion) takes themselves seriously so why can’t we?
~
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Hope that helps clear up a few things for you.
RAmen
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1. The FSM only takes the form of noodles. Like when Monkey meets Buddha and says “I always thought you was a fellah!” and Buddha says “I can take any form I wish.” Also, the creation of noodles came about via inspiration of the FSM, just like Michaelangelo made sculptures of already existing things.
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2. See answer 1.
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3. The same way the horses in the book of Revelations can fly.
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4. How come you don’t ask the same question about cellular organisms?
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5. See answer 2.
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6. See answer 3.
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7. Yes.
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8. The “proof” page names the people who made the statements. Go to their respective university websites, look them up, and send them an email asking if they made the statements.
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9. Yes we do.
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Oh yeah–forgot:
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions
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Oh, and answer 4. should read “How come you don’t ask the same question about multi-cellular organisms?” (even though cellular organisms still apply, since they have a molecular structure anyway)
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Corrections
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We don’t have to explain ourselves to you!
How dare you question our beliefs!
Stay strong fellow believers – we will be reunited at the beer volcanoes and stripper factories!!
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1. how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
Man discovered noodles after his creation. That doesn’t mean noodles didn’t exist before then. The technology to create satellites has only been known to man for 50 or so years, but clearly predates the Earth. You’re confusing when something was created (or became possible) and when man discovered it.
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Q: Before Australia was discovered what was the largest Island in the world?
A: Australia. Just because something hasn’t been discovered, doesn’t mean it isn’t there!
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Don’t worry this is a foolish mistake, but you have the excuse that a lot of people make it. Particularly Christians who in turn have the excuse of mostly being a bit dim. So no harm done.
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Because the Book of Genesis is full of contradictions about things being around and then created later they assume that all religions are as bad. The poor deluded fools.
2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
See point 1.
3.how can FSM fly?
He created the universe, he can do what he likes. His noodly appendage can not confine itself.
4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
See point 3.
5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
See point 1.
6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
See point 3.
7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
Yes, that is exactly how it worked. The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a detailed and accurate description of actual events. It is not an allegory, metaphor or myth it is documentary in nature.
8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
Many scientists agree that we are more likely to have been created by the FSM than any other proposed ‘God’ character.
9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
No just observing facts. Do you know of another God (i.e. one of the made up ones) that has bigger balls? Buster Gonad isn’t a God.
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Furthermore although many rubbish religions (including Christianity, Islam and Judaism) are notorious for not having any sense of humour doesn’t mean we all have to be grumpy killjoys.
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Booty,
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You’re right we don’t have to answer their questions, but we like to because it makes them look stupid.
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Why do you ask questions such as these? Does anybody ask such questions about any other deity? You are approching this all wrong. You have to have faith.
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“1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?”
How could your God chappy? Whats he made of? You don’t have to be an old bloke with a long beard to be the creator. If you did we’d all be worshiping ZZ Top!
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“2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.”
And the FSM created all. He chose his own appearance. He guided mankind into inventing noodles, but it was something we had to learn for ourselves. Creating a bit of godliness on earth.
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“3.how can FSM fly?”
Easily. He invented gravity. Have you never read about IG “Intelligent Gravity” He holds us all down on the earth. Therefore those of short stature are blessed with extra attention from our good noodley lord. He doesn’t float away because he is all powerful.
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“4.how can FSM stay clumped together?”
Will-power and pasta sauce!
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“5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?”
Christians have pictures of God creating man. God had a long grey beard. But that was before he had created man. So how could he have a beard? Only people have beards? So where did he get the idea from? FSM created all. He had created himself and then he guided men and women showing them how to create spaghetti and meatballs for them selves with the raw materials he had carefully spread across the world.
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“6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?”
Because he’s the creator. He can do anything. He makes David Blaine look like…. Well, David Blaine really.
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“7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average height, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)”
Again we go back to “intelligent gravity.” People are getting taller as the population increases. This is because its more difficult for his Noodley Appendages to keep us all held down at the same time. So we don’t have the same pressure pushing down on us as we once had.
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“8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.”
The evidence was put there by our noodley lord. But he made it difficult to find so we’d have to really look for it. He also added a few fossils here and there to put us off the scent. He’s a mischievous rascal sometimes!
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“9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.”
Ok, lets see Allah, God, and Buddha drop their trousers and put this theory to the test. I bet they won’t!
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“just a few questions and facts. don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.”
Why not? Christianity, Islam, Judaism have being using these answers for years. If it aint broke don’t fix it!
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1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
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Ah – you support the Gaia hypothesis – nice!
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2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
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I’m pretty sure that rice can’t come. Unless that’s what semolina is? I’ve always wondered!
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3.how can FSM fly?
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He smokes a lot of weed!
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4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
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String theory!
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5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
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That would be Gaia again?
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6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
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Gravity is an illusion! The earth sucks. Yet Gaia isn’t that sort of woman and refuses to suck his balls – therefore they float!
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7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
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Yup! The earth used to suck a lot more in the early days, therefore people were shorter (with a lot more body hair)
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8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
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You just don’t get it do you? Oh! How blind are those that cannot see! Perhaps they were agreeing with the message of CoFSM? Just a thought.
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9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
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Have you ever seen your god’s balls? We have! They’re fucking huge – salty too!
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just a few questions and facts. don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.
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Ah well, unlucky – this is satirical after all. You expect logic? Ask the christians and muslims – they seem to have the edge in logical proofs like vegetarian T-Rexs gambolling with Adam and Eve whilst Pterodactyls frolic with the lions and tigers. Oh my!
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This is just the kind of thing you expect from this scientists. They are just jealous because thy have been deceived by the FSM.
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.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
`The earth created noodles? This is different most people usually go with the people created noodles theory.
2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
`How do you know rice doesn’t grow elsewhere in the universe?
3.how can FSM fly?
`How did jesus walk on water (and all the other miraculous feats in the christian bible)?
4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
`Pasta’s sticky when partially dry
5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
`Meatballs and rice are in no way related, correlation doesn’t mean causation. Meatballs are just ball of meat, any kind. So if there is any type of animal with musculature (excluding protozoans, single celled organisms, etc) there can be meatballs!
6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
`If you look at the pictures, each meatball is wrapped in noodle, which provides the necessary support.
7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
`Evolution usually begins with something simpler and/ or smaller then evolves into larger, more complex organisms. Giraffe’s are a good example of this. The original ancestors to the common day giraffe, where significantly smaller with normally proportioned neck, then gradually over time the larger giraffe’s we see today evolved.
8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
`See you misunderstood. People didn’t evolve directly from spaghetti, FSM was the catalyst of evolution, he started the wheel spinning, so to say.
9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
`Taken very seriously, both literally and figuratively.
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Can I add to your list of questions?
I’m looking for answers as well, maybe someone here can answer mine?
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K’ Here it is: Whatever happened to Randolph Scott?
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He died.
How’s that PP? ;)
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Ouch! Damn, that was sudden. ;p
Poor industry will never be the same. ;(
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Didn’t he die 20 or so years ago?
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I think so yea.
I’m just a sarcastic ass. ;)
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He was prolly abducted by aliens. That always happens to actors.
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@ Alchemist
Damn! You really came up with a good train of thought for answering those questions! I kinda feel like smacking my forehead in the ” I shoulda thought of that!” manner, here me being a resident pagan and all. Much applause, praise and bowing in your general direction for this one!
RAmen!
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1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
*Point – How could God create the earth when man created God.
*Answer – I believe the point has been made, but he takes the form of Noodles. The same
argument is made about a Christian god and how man made him is man’s image as well. The FSM
took a form we can relate to and with. Plus it makes it easier to worship him with a nice bowl of
spaghetti.
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2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
*Answer – Not worth the effort. See answer 1.
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3.how can FSM fly?
*Answer – He’s a god. He can do what He pleases and earthly laws hold no bounds on him. Thats the
purpose of an omnipotent, all powerful being. Also, a thousand years ago man would ask how
humans could fly in the future. We have a better knowledge of aerodynamics and the use of
aircrafts. Who is to say the FSM doesn’t have so means of technology or just simply a better
understanding of physics.
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4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
*God. duh.
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5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
*Come on. This is just the same question over and over again. See question 2.
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6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
*See question 4.
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7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
* That’s how it happened, so yes. It’s that or evolution, which we know couldn’t happen, not
with all that evidence pointing to it being true.
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8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
*Point – Does the Bible not have a number of books that say incredible things. Would you call them
liars.
*Answer – Well I take offense to the implication that you say we make anything up. That is very
rude and not pc at all. Also, it never says that we evolve from anything like the FSM, He created
us. So it would appear that not only your spelling is quite often bad, but you basic understanding of
our faith does not give you any right to even question it. Read the gospel before you make stupid
questions.
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9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
*I take this very seriously. (thankfully not enough though to persecute, judge, or murder those who
disagree or dont believe. I’ll leave that to the other mainstream religions.) And to answer the
question: Look at him, he does have bigger balls than any other god Ive ever seen.
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Also about the final comment of yours. He can do magic, I don’t know how he does a lot of what He does can be consider miraculous. Period……
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Ramen
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PP, you sarcastic? Really?
I actually wasn’t sure. I was 2 or 3ish when he died.
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Sorry for some of the format errors. Im obviously not as competent as our God :)
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NS – format errors happen, don’t fret it!
Our god is a tricksy god. I think he/she/it has a sense of humour. After all – look at the duck billed platypus – you can’t tell me that beasty was made for any reason other than a laugh!
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Wench Cyka (desperately trying not to abbreviate your name to WC – it will happen, but I’m fighting it)
Cheers ears :) I like the Gaia hypothesis, not something to ignore I think!
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Whatever happened to Randolph Scott?
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He rode of in to the sunset didn’t he?
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He did yep!
Right along with Tex
And Roy and Rex the Durango Kid.
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he can shape shift duh!
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Alchemist
Thank you for kind words. Sometimes I forget how He likes to poke fun with us. That tricky, tricky FSM…
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@Captain W
Of course rice grows elsewhere in the universe – it grows in Heaven which was created first.
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It would be a pretty poor heaven if you spent an evening at the beer volcanoes and couldn’t get a curry with Pilau rice at the end of it.
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Guven that the FSM was drunk when he created it there’s probably about three times as much rice in heaven as we’ll ever need!
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Therefore rice grows in heaven. Theistic reasoning is a csinch when you get the hang of it.
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1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
who has ever said that “Earth” made noodles?
2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
AH but thats what He wants you to believe!
3.how can FSM fly?
weak gravitational forces
4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
strong gravitational forces
5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
it’s quite clear that He invented meaballs but we were not worthy of them untill after rice was used as a food crop
6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
They do touch Him so………
7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
If you read the gospel you would see how his touch lightened as more people were born
8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
We didnt evolve from a spaghetti clump, we evolved from midgets and pirates
9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yous” you must not believe that
oh but i do!
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@۞
Silly me. But no curry for me, I prefer Bun Rieu or Bahn Cuon.
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1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
Noodles were created in His image.
2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
See number 1.
3.how can FSM fly?
His Noodlyness is omnipotent. Duh.
4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
See number 3.
5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
Meatballs go great with spaghetti! See number 2.
6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
It’s all part of Him. As far as I know, it’s all touching.
7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
It’s spelled “migit,” thankyou very much.
8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
He’s not anyone’s ancestor. The migit is our first ancestor.
9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
Dammit, man. Why do you put this as the last question?
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Duh, the answer to all of your questions is simply, our god has created all, can give the illusion of events happening in any order He wishes, can appear in any form he wishes, and if he wants to fly, he is the Creator! He can do whatever he wants to, and yes, he first created the midget, then Tommy Tune and other tall people showed up, and yes, our god has bigger balls than your god. I mean, come on! Their GINORMOUS!
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Duh, the answer to all of your questions is simply, our god has created all, can give the illusion of events happening in any order He wishes, can appear in any form he wishes, and if he wants to fly, he is the Creator! He can do whatever he wants to, and yes, he first created the midget, then Tommy Tune and other tall people showed up, and yes, our god has bigger balls than your god. I mean, come on! Their GINORMOUS! RAmen to all!
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Further to the answer of question number 3: “How can FSM fly?” Since gravitational forces are due to the process known as Intelligent Falling, and this process is caused by the FSM holding us down with his Noodly Appendages, the FSM is not subject to these forces due to the fact that he controls them.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Intelligent Falling
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“don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.”
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Hey why not? We’re a religion…we have a graph and a Gospel! That’s good enough for all other religions.
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“That’s good enough for all other religions.”
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Faith in miracles that is.
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Bitch, bitch, whine, whine, whine. My god is better than yours. you are wrong and going to hell. Answer my questions, explain yourself.
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This person reminds me of my 5 year old. Look she is just starting to read and can’t type. It seems the this person can at least type, so the person should probably be able to read. Buy the book, read the book, look at the information on the website. Do some of your own work. Lazy bastard.
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Sorry all, just a little, vent all better now.
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@Wench Cyka – not only gold, but silver and bonze as well, very nice clean sweep!
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@ OeW
flattery will get you… well you’ll just have to find out!
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Oh you are such a flirt. You are a general flirt, so you out rank me as a Major flirt. Your command is my wish. ;)
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Oh, come on. What’s with these people bringing science into religion? Don’t question these things, dude.
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Ok, my turn!
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1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
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I’m glad you asked this question spunk cracker. You see, this is how I explain the idea of an infinite universe. Man dose indeed make pasta. But then pasta makes the universe, with me so far? The universe gives rise to man, who in turn creates pasta! Add infinity. See the FSM had to create the universe of there would be no-one to create him. It’s a continual cycle!
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2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
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Ah, I refer you to question 1 jizz biscuit.
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3.how can FSM fly?
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Quite simple my mentally deficient friend. It’s a form of Dark Energy manipulation. You see dark energy (as opposed to dark matter) repels mater and vice versa. Therefore all the FSWM has to do is apply dark energy equal to the force of gravity and he will float! Reduce it a little and he will lower his altitude until the dark energy is equal to the gravitational potential (reveres to go up). He propels himself using an Ion drive. This collects particles from the environment and changes the charge of the particles forcing him along (similar to the poles of two magnets repelling each other).
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Finally, as anyone who’s eaten Swedish meatballs will tell you, his magnificent ball contain a high amount of lighter then air gases.
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4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
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Once again this is dark energy. A week field of dark energy surrounds the FSM at all times keeping his noodlyness permanently within this field. See, it’s as simple as you!
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5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
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Back to question 1 you semi-simian scampster!
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6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
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See 3 my mentally handy-caped companion.
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7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
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Now not many people know this, but the FSM didn’t really create midgets. Well he did in a way, but realised that the world was too big for them. So he shrank the whole Earth to the size it is now. The midgets were now ‘normal’ size compared to everything else and became the first humans.
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8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
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Well you’d just have to go ask them fuck-nut. Scientists can be found in your local yellow pages under Science, labs and universities. You could also try a mad scientist, but they tend to be a little flaky and melodramatic.
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9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
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Have you seen them? They’ed put a normal man to shame, let alone an imp dick like you.
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just a few questions and facts. don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.
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As you can see I didn’t use anything like that. So suck my big meaty balls!
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he passed his noodely image down to us and we created pasta and meatballs in his image
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@ OeW Hick!
@ Pluto Well said! RAmen!
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Tar very much. Easy to construct and apply confusing sudo-science to justify anything you want when you know how. Do you think I was condescending enough?
I’m putting in for a Templeton prize.
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I think jizz biscuit was a bit too high brow
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@BlackFeathered Wench
“Oh, come on. What’s with these people bringing science into religion? Don’t question these things, dude.”
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Ok. If we don’t push science into religion, will the religious people then repay the compliment and quit pushing religion into science classes? Consistency among christians anyone?
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No, I didn’t think so either.
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True but I already used spunk cracker once. Coming up with semen/food insults is hard. Could have gone for spunk bubble but that’s not strictly a food group.
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Hmmm. What about ‘cum drop’ or ‘cum custard’? Sound appealing? Hmmm. What about ‘cum drop’ or ‘cum custard’? Sound appealing? Once used the term ‘custard man-cannon’ with reference to my penis. What a grate day that was.
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@Wench Nikkiee
This one should be interesting for you, maybe others too:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2007/oct/06/genetics.climatechange
A scientist claims to be able to build a chromosome from chemicals. If that is not another Korean human clone hoax but a real scientific feat then it would be a very big story. If I had a penny for every time a believer came up with ‘but the creation of life from lifeless matter has never been reproduced’ I’d be richer now. Prepare for the next round of excuses from believers, telling you that this is exactly how their god planned it all along and that it doesn’t diminish their stories one bit.
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If I listed all the ones I could come up with, I’m afraid I’d burst a few hymens, right through the computer screen, so I’ll leave my dirty mind right where it is!
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How about “santorum popsicle?”
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of course, I must always pay homage to the greatest deviant mind I have ever known.
much homage, my friend *bows low at lilwench’s feet*
RAmen!
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@ DutchPastaGuy
Interesting. Personally I was always curious what you’d get if you modified a human embryo so its base pair was YY. I’d like to see what something with no feminine input in it biology would look like. More morbid curiosity then any scientific reason.
Seriously, think of how much of a mans body is naturally modified from female anatomy. That seam on a guys ball sack, for example, is the result of the vaginal sealing up during the embryonic stage and the ovaries moving down to become testis. So presumably we need the X chromosome to be men? What would mister 2Y’s look like with no female anatomy to modify?
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This is where I see a problem with meddling with the building parts of life.
Humans get board, and when we get board we fuck about. Too much spare time on your hands and your gona start splicing rabbits with frogs just to have something to do.
The potential is awesome and a little scary.
Through selective breading of stock we have artificially ‘evolved’ farm animals to meet our needs. All we do is replace the natural selection of the environment with the un-natural selection of our own choosing. The principle is the same, which is why I always make this argument when discussing evolution with sceptics. It’s impossible to deny that farm animals have little in common with their wild cousins.
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Well the point is; I think the temptation to do the same to ourselves with gene manipulation would be massive.
I don’t mean to make us into cattle, though that would serve the religious to make us so, but to control evolution. Which quite frankly has stalled in human due to the fact that we alter our environment rather than the other way around (like every thing else that lives).
If I’m going to be perfectly honest we need to do something to stop this. Genetic conditions don’t drop out of the gene pool because things like diabetes and anaemia aren’t deadly anymore, we can treat them allowing them to be passed on.
So the problem is; other than modifying ourselves, the only option for survival is eugenics. And I think we all know where that leads.
Anyway there’s you food for thought.
Start chewing!
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ahem, for those not vomiting in their minds by the “santorum popsicle” image, I refer you to urbandictionary.com to look up santorum. thank you for your time, please have your airsick bags handy as you are edified and disgusted.
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@ Pluto
Miltiary + either gene splicing nasty viruses & bacteria
or nano technology as a bio weapon will probably make screwing with our own DNA a moot question before we get too far with it.
Remember, the ones in charge are never the brightest bulbs in the box, but they’re the ones telling the brightest bulbs what to do.
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no, no, better to go to the source, http://www.spreadingsantorum.com. Do your part to anger fundies, and keep this site the number one google result for “santorum”
Yarrr
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Wench Cyka and lilwench – you are lucky. I live in PA where that dope santorum was actually a senator for a long time. I voted against that guy every time, I did not care who was running against him.
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@Wench Cyka – do you need someone to help you with those hick ups? I hear that a massage with flavored oils does a body good.
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@ Wonderkin Let me drag you into a nice secluded little corner and show you exactly what to do with that rapier…. wit!
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@Wench Cyka – I am interested in any new techniques that you may be able to demonstrate on me. I am wiley and may be able to show you some new techniques, too.
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* Bonks Wonderkin on the head with her trusty frying pan and drags him off by his Very Rank Collar.* A proper wench does her training in private!
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Have fun you two :)
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just a few questions and facts. don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.
A: How dare you demand how we answer these questions. We will answer them however we wish. And we have the right to use the same old tired “The Lord works in mysterious ways” as the next religion. Though, I think to be accurate all answers could be, “FSM wears beer goggles, hence any ugly or unexplainable things in the universe are do to too much booze.”
1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
A: i don’t know
2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
A: he just can
3.how can FSM fly?
A: magic
4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
A: Miracle
5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
A: anything like that
6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
A: i don’t know
7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
A: he just can
8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
A: magic
9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
A: anything like that
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Faith.
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Are you new to how this religion thing works?
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It’s turtles all the way down. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turtles_all_the_way_down
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OEJ
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there is no need 2 ask questions for all those who truly believe, may HE forgive your doubt
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Ahahaha! I just love all of these answers!! Keep them coming peeps :)
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How about:
“Cos I sez so bitch”
That’s always a good one.
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It seems that the majority of the religious people who post on this site take everything seriously… They were joking…It is a bit ridiculous to test atheists on their religion. You give religious people who think for themselves (like me) a bad rep. If you wish to be productive, question your own beliefs in intelligent design. Obviously others are going to respond in a less than kind manner.
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But we are very kind and loving to the occasional and rare Actual Christian!
May your pasta always be Al Dente!
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@Allison – quick hint for you, atheism is not a religion. Also, have you considered the CoFSM 30-day challenge?
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@Wench Cyka – Damn my head hurts, you could have just asked. Just wait until we get into the room again. ;0
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@ One Eyed Jack – Love that answer, “Are you new to how this religion thing works?”
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“don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.”
*
i find it ironic that he needs that rule more than us.
i can answer all those questions, it’s too easy really, but that last part really made me mad…
*
all right, here are some questions for you:
if god planes everything, why does he plan the rape of a little girl while we speak? “i don’t know”
how can even a god create something so amazing such as the universe in just 7 days? “he just can”
how was god created? “magic”
why doesn’t jesus talks to us when we ask him to appear before us? “i don’t know”
how did jesus bring back to life people after they died? “miracle”
*
thank you for proving us how religious people think, when it comes to their religion they accept everything and don’t dare to question it, but when it comes to something else, they have a rational and a skeptical mind…
*
RAmen everyone, have a great day!
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Do we have a word for pasta infidels? Because we really need one.
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The Al-Atkins Martyr Brigade?
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@ lilwench
sometimes, you can still scare me
but you’ll always be my best friend of course!
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Hey, I had to google those low-carb infidels, I couldn’t remember the name of that scurvy diet.
Yarrr
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Made me reach for the comfort of my cheese doodles, that did!
RAmen!
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Does that make pastafarians carbohydrate addicts?
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Probably, Wonderkin. I mean, who wants to eat unleavened bread all the time?
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Pasta is far superior and should be consumed as such.
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you are a total noob.
if god doesnt exist and fsm has no hands, then tell me who is bowling when there is thunder out?
fucking tard
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And how can FSM live in the sky when the sky is a bowl and the ground is a giant turtle surroundedby hindu snakes?
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@ SB: Tard, it’s not bowling balls, it’s meatballs. And I prefer my pasta in a bowl, so that sky analogy is very fitting.
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Hey, folks: new FSM news item:
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=69617&in_page_id=2
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Don’t know that I care for the classification of the story under ‘Weird’, though: what’s so weird about a giant, invisible, flying pile of pasta and meatballs that does magic?! Huh?
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Oops. Didn’t realize it was a reported older story. Ah, weel: I’ll catch up at some point.
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For Pluto who said :
Interesting. Personally I was always curious what you’d get if you modified a human embryo so its base pair was YY. I’d like to see what something with no feminine input in it biology would look like. More morbid curiosity then any scientific reason.
Seriously, think of how much of a mans body is naturally modified from female anatomy. That seam on a guys ball sack, for example, is the result of the vaginal sealing up during the embryonic stage and the ovaries moving down to become testis. So presumably we need the X chromosome to be men? What would mister 2Y’s look like with no female anatomy to modify?
Sadly, there are babies created with only one Y chromosome and no X, they die in fetal development as there are a lot of non-gender related vital genes on the X chromosome that just aren’t on the Y. There are also (very, very rarely) babies created with YY chromosome. They also die in fetal development.
Finally, and not so sadly, there are what’s called “Supermales”, babies born with XYY chromosomes. They are regular male individuals and make up a suprising percentage of US prisons. If you don’t believe me, head to wikipedia and look up “nondisunction”. That’s the technical term for chromosomes acting wierd.
Now… lots-of-questions…. do you believe I am a scientist? I could be a muntant alien robot, or I could be a 500 pound child molester from North-Eastern South Dakota, and you would never know!! I could also be standing outside your room watching you right now… DON’T LOOK!!! With that in mind, put down the teddy bear and remember this, if you can’t trust random people on the internet who say they have PhD’s and obviously have a well defined sense of humour, what can you trust????
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ACK!!! That’s supposed to be NONDISJUNCTION not nondisunction. the second one will only get you packaged in a fortune cookie and shipped to Buranka where the local paper clip maker will throw pineapples at you. Not fun. Sorry about that.
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Hunchbook wrote:
Now… lots-of-questions…. do you believe I am a scientist? I could be a muntant alien robot, or I could be a 500 pound child molester from North-Eastern South Dakota, and you would never know!! I could also be standing outside your room watching you right now… DON’T LOOK!!! With that in mind, put down the teddy bear and remember this, if you can’t trust random people on the internet who say they have PhD’s and obviously have a well defined sense of humour, what can you trust????
.
Batman.
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@Hunchbook
I think you are all of the above.
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@ BlackFeathered Wench- Batman!!! fuck off! If I’m going to trust anyone it’s a dude who can walk away from a head shot!
Wolverine all the way!
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Psssh. Batman doesn’t need a healing factor. At least he stays on the same side constantly.
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Wonder Woman, now there is someone to trust!
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Yeah, if you’re into that sort of thing. Me, I’ll take Batman.
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I like all your answers to this post, unfortunately you all are fine people who believe in a cult. But most “cults” don’t have a hate mail section where they have to go to satisfy the pitiful instinct of vengeance. Your cult makes a mockery of other people and there fore you can not be deemed acceptable
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Well, to be fair, it IS a religion, at therefore doesn’t need to make sense. It’s like saying.
1. How did God create the universa?
2. How come the first man was called Adam when that name was concucted later on, by humans?
3. How does God stay in Heaven?
4. What stops Heaven falling into the Earth?
I think you get the idea…
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Oh Reflector, that is so cute, you think WE follow a cult. Better check that Heaven’s Gate protruding from your eye before you attack the satire sticking out of ours.
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“Vengence is mine, saith the Lord”….Is not the Bible one big book of Vengence? I think Revelations kicks our little Hate Mail Section to peices, what with it advocating the killing of billions of people because they don’t enslave themselves to Him.
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You don’t deem us acceptable, and yet I accept your rights to live and pursue your beliefs without restraint…until you decide to try to force me to believe what I, wholeheartedly, cannot.
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@Reflector – judge not lest you be judged.
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@BlackFeathered Wench- even Captain America can beat Batman… Oh my god I’m comic guy from the Simpson’s!!! Where did it all go wrong? Next thing I’ll lose my waist line and sport a balding mullet!
Nooooooo!
Anyway, still say Wolverine would fuck up Batman! Unless it was the camp one from the 60’s, he’d use his bat-anti-Wolverine spray.
Ok I’m off to have a sad sex fantasy about Wonder Woman and She Hulk in the toilets at work. Then I’ll probably hang myself.
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Reflector. We have a hatemail section so we can bask in the overly intellectual views of otheres. Other cults, or ‘religions’ do not have hate mail sections, because they can’t deal with criticism.
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@ Pluto – Ahahahahahaha!
I know the feeling – embrace your geekiness! Geeks are the new studs!
I bet loads of the other wenches here would love you to talk dirty comic book hero talk to them :)
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Ok! Gauntlets down! Are any or you fine wenches interested in comic book erotica? Give me you fav hero and I’ll past their name into the dirty story’s from my Razzel collection.
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How ’bout some hot Xavier/Magneto action?
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1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
How could God create the earth when humans were made after?
2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
see before
3.how can FSM fly?
How can your god create planets out of nothing?
4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
How can your god survive in heaven when the altitude is unsuitable for breathing?
5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
because the meatballs are a part of the FSM
6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
because the meatballs are a part of the FSM
7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
How did god make the entire human body when only cells make other cells?
8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
Scientists believe we came from a big floaty guy that can just create matter?
9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
He does. Look at how big they are!
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soma cube
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Though this is an old thread, I would like to add my my comments also… for the author has me greatly concerned.
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1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
*The most puzzling about question 1 is what is the author referring to? earth with small letters and no article is… what? But let us assume for the fun of it that he means earthlings created noodles and FSM was not there before earthly noodles. Answer: from the combination of inferior things can come greater things. Like tomatoes, basil, garlic and pepper combine into a wonderful sauce. This answer also covers q2 and q5.
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3.how can FSM fly?
*This is where I started to do some experimenting and discovered even more questions. How can ducks fly? They have those silly wings and flap them, but nothing happened when I tried with cardboard wings in proportion to duck wings or even double size cardboard wings. And how can aeroplanes fly? Those wings don’t even flap. Or soap bubbles for that matter, soap bubbles don’t even have wings? All these examples of the world being created by the FSM under the influence.
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4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
*Here I became worried for myself and just to make sure – in case I don’t find the answer – that I stay clumped together, I got some bandage to hold myself together and now look like a mummy. But I realise that there may be nothing holding the bandage together and it may well come apart along with me. Hence I am now typing extra fast to get this all done before I or the keyboard come apart.
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6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
*Experimenting again, meatballs don’t actually float. You can try for yourself at the kitchen sink.
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7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
*An artist usually makes a study in smaller scale before the final piece. Makes perfect sense.
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8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
*Surely not the proof page on this website? Two hints for the author:
1) Reading works like this: You read the words on a page from left to right and the rows of words from top to bottom. Quoting works like this: You cannot put words that you find on one page together in a new totally different order and say that it says so in the source. The words have to be in the same order as when reading.
2) There is a button on your keyboard above enter that is called “backspace”. You press once to erase the last letter you wrote. You press many times and you need not apologise for spelling errors.
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9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
*This is the single axiom of the reality that I occupy. I refuse to question it.
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1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
How could God create man when man created God??
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@ID LOL
“1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?”
cuz
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Fool! Heretic! Don’t you realise that the FSM created the world only at the time of Marco Polo, who was the first man and greatest Prophet of Spaghetti (may the peace and blessings of bolognaise sauce be upon him)? All the so-called history before then has been implanted in our minds by the FSM, just as he has planted fossils in the rocks to trick people into thinking life was not always as it is now. Isn’t this obvious?
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It doesn’t matter what your questions are; the truth is written in the Gospel. Man doesn’t this guy know how to read? Ramen.
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You don’t have to know
there is this liddle word that starts with an f and ends in an aith
(if you are confused the word is)
FAITH
FAITH FAITH FAITH FAITH FAITH
we believe and that makes it real for us
we do not question his noodliness
we just have FAITH and BELIEVE that he is omnipotent
RAmen
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YE OF LITTLE FAITH
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1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
He placed his image in our minds and somehow we got food.
2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
We had really bad understanding of the images he presented us with, and got short, weird looking pasta.
3.how can FSM fly?
That’s like asking, “how can Spiderman shoot web from his wrist?”
He got bitten by a mutated spider. Duhh.
4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
Have you never seen/touched a noodle that got left out for an hour?
He remains in that state, never turning to that hard, gross pasta you get when you leave it out all night.
5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
Same as above. It just didn’t register in the initial plan of pasta.
6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
They were also bitten by a mutated spider.
7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
This is true.
“Dwarves” as they were once called, were once a thriving civilization with prosperous lands and great wealth. This was all taken away though when humans charged in and killed almost all of them. The gene still makes its way somehow from generation to generation.
8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
I’m not those scientists, and I don’t know them, so I don’t know if they really said it. But as “St John” pointed out, they probably have information and all that somewhere. I’m just too lazy to find it.
9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
Well the FSM certainly has bigger balls than my god, considering teapots don’t have balls. Unless you count tea balls..But either way, the tea ball wouldn’t fit if it were bigger than FSM’s balls.
-Keegan
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1. how could an invisible MAN create ANYTHING without the all might Uterus?
2. His noodly goodness made the world which made the rice, then the noodles. The noodles are then representations of him much like how the Catholics have statues of Saints when clearly the real Saints existed before the statues. Plus, we can eat out representations haha.
3. again, his noodly goodness created the universe. what? he cant even do something as easy as fly?
4. come on, his noodly goodness has been around for quite some time. have you ever left spaghetti and meatballs out for a few days and drop it by accident? I bet they were sticking just as his noodly goodness does.
5. when in doubt see question 2.
6. what are you talking about? the meatballs are in the sockets of his body much like how our eyeballs are stuck in the sockets of our skulls. Im starting to wonder if the eyeballs are the only thing in your head right now.
7. explains evolution quite well I think. (I THINK, YOU dont.)
8. Yes and neither would they say that we came from a MAN either…well maybe unless God is a woman but that would piss off the Christians just as much. And plus, you haven’t read out book either. We did not evolve from our creator (look at what we call him idiot!). HE CREATED US
9. HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE BALLS HANGING FROM OUR CREATOR?!?!? ITS EVEN BIGGER THAN THE PICTURE OF GOD PAINTED BY MICHAELANGELO IN THE SISTINE CHAPEL!!! IN FACT GOD DOES NOT HAVE BALLS AT ALL NOR A UTERUS!! Ours have balls and balls are need to f@$k p0$$15 like you.
10.
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1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
fsm created earth then placed images in our mind of him then we made pasta
2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
when fsm made earth after his image was in our minds we tried to make pasta some of it came out to short though
3.how can FSM fly?
fsm flies becuase his godly power allows him to
4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
his godly power pulls it together kindof like gravity but not exactly
5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
we made them in his image
6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
his power holds them their kinof like its holding the noodles
7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)yes migets were made b4 people of normal hight but they were not ableto defend themselves when humans came the bloodline is still there though
9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
well does the christin god have balls almost as bug as his whole body? no he doesnt fsm does so his balls are bigger! duh
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My one and only question to the Christians is this:
If we are all decended from Adam and Eve and they were the only humans created at first, then why aren’t we all mentally handicapped due to 4,000 years of incest?
(4,000 years is the estimate for Christians for when Earth was created. I think…)
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if humans invented God, then how did he create the universe, as the universe came before humans?
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But Seosamh, the FSM created the universe and the FSM was not created by humans.
I’m sure if you could just open yourself up to feel of His Noodly Appendage you would know His truth.
RAmen
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Seosamh.
.
if humans invented God, then how did he create the universe, as the universe came before humans?
.
That’s a pretty simple question to answer. Most folks here will say “he didn’t, because there is no god!”
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Very nice work, admin :) Good luck!
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Very effective. Thanx.i
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You should ask his noodlyness.
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I agree with pheer, join us and you can ask the FSM in heaven.
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First of all, I respect you for inquiring instead of just blasting us. I will attempt to answer all of your questions.
1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
Common misconception, He created noodles in His Noodly Image. We just didn’t discover them until later.
2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
I don’t understand what you’re asking.
3.how can FSM fly?
He created gravity, so He can change it’s properties therein.
4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
We aren’t really sure, but my theory is that His Sauce is quite sticky, and that is how His Noodles stay clumped.
5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
Another common misconception, He created Meatballs in His Image, so as to put with our spaghetti in the holiest of meals. He gave someone the idea.
6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
Same thing with gravity.
7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
He simply did. It’s like asking why did you plug up the monitor to the computer before turning it on, it doesn’t really matter, you get the same end result.
8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
These scientists are not saying that FSMism and Evolution go hand in hand, what they’re saying is that if you teach Creationism in schools, you also have to teach FSMism as it has the same merit.
9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
That is simply a fact. The Christian’s God’s testicles (the only balls on his body) are no where near as large as the FSM’s Meatballs (the only balls on HIS body).
just a few questions and facts. don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.
I hope this has enlightened you!
Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you and may His Sauce rain down upon you,
-GM
RAmen
If you have any questions about or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net
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