-not really hatemail or criticism, more like skepticism, but I didn’t know where to put this -
1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
3.how can FSM fly?
4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
just a few questions and facts. don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.
Hmmm. What about ‘cum drop’ or ‘cum custard’? Sound appealing? Hmmm. What about ‘cum drop’ or ‘cum custard’? Sound appealing? Once used the term ‘custard man-cannon’ with reference to my penis. What a grate day that was.
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@Wench Nikkiee
This one should be interesting for you, maybe others too:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2007/oct/06/genetics.climatechange
A scientist claims to be able to build a chromosome from chemicals. If that is not another Korean human clone hoax but a real scientific feat then it would be a very big story. If I had a penny for every time a believer came up with ‘but the creation of life from lifeless matter has never been reproduced’ I’d be richer now. Prepare for the next round of excuses from believers, telling you that this is exactly how their god planned it all along and that it doesn’t diminish their stories one bit.
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If I listed all the ones I could come up with, I’m afraid I’d burst a few hymens, right through the computer screen, so I’ll leave my dirty mind right where it is!
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How about “santorum popsicle?”
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of course, I must always pay homage to the greatest deviant mind I have ever known.
much homage, my friend *bows low at lilwench’s feet*
RAmen!
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@ DutchPastaGuy
Interesting. Personally I was always curious what you’d get if you modified a human embryo so its base pair was YY. I’d like to see what something with no feminine input in it biology would look like. More morbid curiosity then any scientific reason.
Seriously, think of how much of a mans body is naturally modified from female anatomy. That seam on a guys ball sack, for example, is the result of the vaginal sealing up during the embryonic stage and the ovaries moving down to become testis. So presumably we need the X chromosome to be men? What would mister 2Y’s look like with no female anatomy to modify?
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This is where I see a problem with meddling with the building parts of life.
Humans get board, and when we get board we fuck about. Too much spare time on your hands and your gona start splicing rabbits with frogs just to have something to do.
The potential is awesome and a little scary.
Through selective breading of stock we have artificially ‘evolved’ farm animals to meet our needs. All we do is replace the natural selection of the environment with the un-natural selection of our own choosing. The principle is the same, which is why I always make this argument when discussing evolution with sceptics. It’s impossible to deny that farm animals have little in common with their wild cousins.
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Well the point is; I think the temptation to do the same to ourselves with gene manipulation would be massive.
I don’t mean to make us into cattle, though that would serve the religious to make us so, but to control evolution. Which quite frankly has stalled in human due to the fact that we alter our environment rather than the other way around (like every thing else that lives).
If I’m going to be perfectly honest we need to do something to stop this. Genetic conditions don’t drop out of the gene pool because things like diabetes and anaemia aren’t deadly anymore, we can treat them allowing them to be passed on.
So the problem is; other than modifying ourselves, the only option for survival is eugenics. And I think we all know where that leads.
Anyway there’s you food for thought.
Start chewing!
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ahem, for those not vomiting in their minds by the “santorum popsicle” image, I refer you to urbandictionary.com to look up santorum. thank you for your time, please have your airsick bags handy as you are edified and disgusted.
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@ Pluto
Miltiary + either gene splicing nasty viruses & bacteria
or nano technology as a bio weapon will probably make screwing with our own DNA a moot question before we get too far with it.
Remember, the ones in charge are never the brightest bulbs in the box, but they’re the ones telling the brightest bulbs what to do.
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no, no, better to go to the source, http://www.spreadingsantorum.com. Do your part to anger fundies, and keep this site the number one google result for “santorum”
Yarrr
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Wench Cyka and lilwench – you are lucky. I live in PA where that dope santorum was actually a senator for a long time. I voted against that guy every time, I did not care who was running against him.
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@Wench Cyka – do you need someone to help you with those hick ups? I hear that a massage with flavored oils does a body good.
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@ Wonderkin Let me drag you into a nice secluded little corner and show you exactly what to do with that rapier…. wit!
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@Wench Cyka – I am interested in any new techniques that you may be able to demonstrate on me. I am wiley and may be able to show you some new techniques, too.
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* Bonks Wonderkin on the head with her trusty frying pan and drags him off by his Very Rank Collar.* A proper wench does her training in private!
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Have fun you two :)
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just a few questions and facts. don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.
A: How dare you demand how we answer these questions. We will answer them however we wish. And we have the right to use the same old tired “The Lord works in mysterious ways” as the next religion. Though, I think to be accurate all answers could be, “FSM wears beer goggles, hence any ugly or unexplainable things in the universe are do to too much booze.”
1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
A: i don’t know
2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
A: he just can
3.how can FSM fly?
A: magic
4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
A: Miracle
5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
A: anything like that
6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
A: i don’t know
7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
A: he just can
8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
A: magic
9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
A: anything like that
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Faith.
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Are you new to how this religion thing works?
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It’s turtles all the way down. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turtles_all_the_way_down
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OEJ
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there is no need 2 ask questions for all those who truly believe, may HE forgive your doubt
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Ahahaha! I just love all of these answers!! Keep them coming peeps :)
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How about:
“Cos I sez so bitch”
That’s always a good one.
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It seems that the majority of the religious people who post on this site take everything seriously… They were joking…It is a bit ridiculous to test atheists on their religion. You give religious people who think for themselves (like me) a bad rep. If you wish to be productive, question your own beliefs in intelligent design. Obviously others are going to respond in a less than kind manner.
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But we are very kind and loving to the occasional and rare Actual Christian!
May your pasta always be Al Dente!
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@Allison – quick hint for you, atheism is not a religion. Also, have you considered the CoFSM 30-day challenge?
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@Wench Cyka – Damn my head hurts, you could have just asked. Just wait until we get into the room again. ;0
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@ One Eyed Jack – Love that answer, “Are you new to how this religion thing works?”
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“don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.”
*
i find it ironic that he needs that rule more than us.
i can answer all those questions, it’s too easy really, but that last part really made me mad…
*
all right, here are some questions for you:
if god planes everything, why does he plan the rape of a little girl while we speak? “i don’t know”
how can even a god create something so amazing such as the universe in just 7 days? “he just can”
how was god created? “magic”
why doesn’t jesus talks to us when we ask him to appear before us? “i don’t know”
how did jesus bring back to life people after they died? “miracle”
*
thank you for proving us how religious people think, when it comes to their religion they accept everything and don’t dare to question it, but when it comes to something else, they have a rational and a skeptical mind…
*
RAmen everyone, have a great day!
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Do we have a word for pasta infidels? Because we really need one.
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The Al-Atkins Martyr Brigade?
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@ lilwench
sometimes, you can still scare me
but you’ll always be my best friend of course!
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Hey, I had to google those low-carb infidels, I couldn’t remember the name of that scurvy diet.
Yarrr
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Made me reach for the comfort of my cheese doodles, that did!
RAmen!
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Does that make pastafarians carbohydrate addicts?
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Probably, Wonderkin. I mean, who wants to eat unleavened bread all the time?
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Pasta is far superior and should be consumed as such.
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you are a total noob.
if god doesnt exist and fsm has no hands, then tell me who is bowling when there is thunder out?
fucking tard
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And how can FSM live in the sky when the sky is a bowl and the ground is a giant turtle surroundedby hindu snakes?
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@ SB: Tard, it’s not bowling balls, it’s meatballs. And I prefer my pasta in a bowl, so that sky analogy is very fitting.
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Hey, folks: new FSM news item:
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=69617&in_page_id=2
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Don’t know that I care for the classification of the story under ‘Weird’, though: what’s so weird about a giant, invisible, flying pile of pasta and meatballs that does magic?! Huh?
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Oops. Didn’t realize it was a reported older story. Ah, weel: I’ll catch up at some point.
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For Pluto who said :
Interesting. Personally I was always curious what you’d get if you modified a human embryo so its base pair was YY. I’d like to see what something with no feminine input in it biology would look like. More morbid curiosity then any scientific reason.
Seriously, think of how much of a mans body is naturally modified from female anatomy. That seam on a guys ball sack, for example, is the result of the vaginal sealing up during the embryonic stage and the ovaries moving down to become testis. So presumably we need the X chromosome to be men? What would mister 2Y’s look like with no female anatomy to modify?
Sadly, there are babies created with only one Y chromosome and no X, they die in fetal development as there are a lot of non-gender related vital genes on the X chromosome that just aren’t on the Y. There are also (very, very rarely) babies created with YY chromosome. They also die in fetal development.
Finally, and not so sadly, there are what’s called “Supermales”, babies born with XYY chromosomes. They are regular male individuals and make up a suprising percentage of US prisons. If you don’t believe me, head to wikipedia and look up “nondisunction”. That’s the technical term for chromosomes acting wierd.
Now… lots-of-questions…. do you believe I am a scientist? I could be a muntant alien robot, or I could be a 500 pound child molester from North-Eastern South Dakota, and you would never know!! I could also be standing outside your room watching you right now… DON’T LOOK!!! With that in mind, put down the teddy bear and remember this, if you can’t trust random people on the internet who say they have PhD’s and obviously have a well defined sense of humour, what can you trust????
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ACK!!! That’s supposed to be NONDISJUNCTION not nondisunction. the second one will only get you packaged in a fortune cookie and shipped to Buranka where the local paper clip maker will throw pineapples at you. Not fun. Sorry about that.
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Hunchbook wrote:
Now… lots-of-questions…. do you believe I am a scientist? I could be a muntant alien robot, or I could be a 500 pound child molester from North-Eastern South Dakota, and you would never know!! I could also be standing outside your room watching you right now… DON’T LOOK!!! With that in mind, put down the teddy bear and remember this, if you can’t trust random people on the internet who say they have PhD’s and obviously have a well defined sense of humour, what can you trust????
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Batman.
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@Hunchbook
I think you are all of the above.
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@ BlackFeathered Wench- Batman!!! fuck off! If I’m going to trust anyone it’s a dude who can walk away from a head shot!
Wolverine all the way!
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Psssh. Batman doesn’t need a healing factor. At least he stays on the same side constantly.
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Wonder Woman, now there is someone to trust!
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Yeah, if you’re into that sort of thing. Me, I’ll take Batman.
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I like all your answers to this post, unfortunately you all are fine people who believe in a cult. But most “cults” don’t have a hate mail section where they have to go to satisfy the pitiful instinct of vengeance. Your cult makes a mockery of other people and there fore you can not be deemed acceptable
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Well, to be fair, it IS a religion, at therefore doesn’t need to make sense. It’s like saying.
1. How did God create the universa?
2. How come the first man was called Adam when that name was concucted later on, by humans?
3. How does God stay in Heaven?
4. What stops Heaven falling into the Earth?
I think you get the idea…
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Oh Reflector, that is so cute, you think WE follow a cult. Better check that Heaven’s Gate protruding from your eye before you attack the satire sticking out of ours.
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“Vengence is mine, saith the Lord”….Is not the Bible one big book of Vengence? I think Revelations kicks our little Hate Mail Section to peices, what with it advocating the killing of billions of people because they don’t enslave themselves to Him.
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You don’t deem us acceptable, and yet I accept your rights to live and pursue your beliefs without restraint…until you decide to try to force me to believe what I, wholeheartedly, cannot.
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@Reflector – judge not lest you be judged.
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