okay cute name bobby………..
but whats the deal with fsm??????
pretty weird??…….
don’t mock GOD please!
i mean
its not right!!!!
and FSM is NOT REAL!!!!!!
you shouldn’t be going around and making lies!!!!!
not cool………
can you just stop making up crazy things!!!!
whats your motive????
getting everyones attention???
creating money???
god hater???
believer in evolution????
what???
anyways stop making up these stories and get real!!!!
gets really annoying!!!
your making the world even more havoc than usual!!!
and plus your spaghetti monster looks like a snail………..
stop doing this junk and get a better life okay???
<3 C.H.
stop!!!! <3 please >_<
but whats the deal with fsmb
Published by Bobby Henderson October 4th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 201 Comments
201 Responses to “but whats the deal with fsmb”
Is that me first? WOO-HOO
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Well, I see the opponents of FSM are as intellectual and articulate as ever…
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Can I be the first to say “What?”
And, you really need to get your keyboard looked at – the “?” “!” and “.” seem to be sticking.
Good luck with the medication, I hope it kicks in soon.
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“okay cute name bobby………..”
Is that a come on?
“but whats the deal with fsm??????”
If you read the first page it sort of helps
“pretty weird??…….”
Yes. Yes you are.
“don’t mock GOD please!”
Why not? Thought he just use to strike people down in the old days, why dose he need you to stick up for him.
“i mean”
Yes
“its not right!!!!”
Why not?
“and FSM is NOT REAL!!!!!!”
Same question why not? Prove it if you can!
“you shouldn’t be going around and making lies!!!!!
not cool………”
Tell you local priest that. He’s the one who spews shit every Sunday.
“can you just stop making up crazy things!!!!”
We will when you do!
“whats your motive????”
You really are dense aren’t you? If you read the first page you would know. Why bother complaining about something when you don’t even know what it is?
“getting everyones attention???”
Got yours.
“creating money???”
I think that’s a crime.
“god hater???”
Can’t hate what I don’t believe in. Do you hate the fairies who don’t live in your garden
“believer in evolution????”
You say that like it should be insulting.
“what???”
What?
“anyways stop making up these stories and get real!!!!”
You have a whole book of them! Why can’t we do the same? Hypocrite!
“gets really annoying!!!”
Yes but we try to tolerate you
“your making the world even more havoc than usual!!!”
What? You mean like “Jew kill Muslim, Muslim kill Christen, FSM kill… well nobody I know of. Yet.
“and plus your spaghetti monster looks like a snail………..”
You thinking of the escargot separatists. Now they are crazy.
“stop doing this junk and get a better life okay???”
It’s better than yours. I don’t think I’m going to hell for the wank I had this morning
_
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As the great Terry Pratchett says: multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of an unbalanced mind. I think that the same goes for multiple questionmarks (repeatedly used). Why do they always think we are wrong and their particular deity is the truth? When it is so blindingly obvious that we are right!
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_
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odd my post from:
_
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Ecchecazzo, non insultare il nostro profeta Bobby e non bestemmiare il nostro Dio…
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That’s very weird. text keeps going missing from the post! I lose everthing after:
_
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Did it again!!! Mother fucker
I just get a ‘_’
when i should get ‘_
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again!!!! whats so wron with me saying _
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___
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Hmmmm.. god is that you porving you exsist by stoping me from saying _
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LOL Pluto – the FSM moves in mysterious ways!
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Ok you youngsters – what is the last symbol from the poster all about?
It looks like a little constipated person!!
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I don’t know I can’t see it on my work PC. Plus I’m not that young anymore.
Do you think it’s the symbol that stops me from pasting? _
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No – it is
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ooh – it did!
I will try copy and paste…
>_
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hmmm – with another
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hee hee heee – it won’t do it!
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Thats fucked how did he post it in the first place when I can’t even say _
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Yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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I’ll try typing it.
-_
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No that didn’t work. But at least this is more intresting than the original post.
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The “fsmb”?
Google says…
FSMB
National non-profit association with membership consisting of 68 medical licensing authorities in 50 states, the District of Columbia, Guam, Puerto Rico and …
I hope this helps him out :-)
p.s. my first post!
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Hello Bookem :)
weird, huh? Pluto – maybe that’s what the original poster meant!!
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@Pluto
Hahahahahahahaha…..
RAmen
.
Hi Bookem & Welcome :)
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Hi Booty
I’m lost :)
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I can’t hardly believe the thing about believing in evolution. i do think it’s intended to insult. This indicates to me that she is so unused to coming into contact with evolutionists, that she actually thinks that they’re weird and comparable to rapists, murderers, and someone that would take a child’s lollipop. this is the result of having religious communities, they never get any variety in what they’re taught, and NEVER an alternate opinion, or at least not one that isn’t instantly dismissed by their priest. and that’s why we have hate-mailers, because they’ve not only been systematically brainwashed with ‘the love of christ’ but also narrow-mindedness towards anything else.
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Hmmm…remember a few posters trying that before…for Aristotles giraffe. Some code I think.
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@Wench Nikkiee- try to copy and paste the last bit of the guys post. all you get is _
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see
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I think we underestimated our little poster. He must have found a way to break the internet.
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Commodore Angryy
She?
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Pluto
Yeah vaguely remember something about those triangular brackets before. Think they won’t post because the system reads them as HTML tags.
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how can you tell gender from a mess like that? Think we should just use the term ‘It’ from now on.
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Well the brackets you use to enclose the tags anyway.
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@Pluto
.
Hehe, there IS a trick to get the “more then” or “less then” sign (one of them makes the text behind it disappear, but I’m not going to test which one) on screen (hence the “giraffe” remarks).
.
۞ is pretty well learned in those Internet thingies, maybe he’ll explain things to you?
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Is it just me, or does this concerned hatemailer “sound” very young?
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Not just you JB, I think young would be a good guess.
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Anyway off to bed here catch you later :)
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hmmm.. let me try
> pig
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I’m guessing this particular hater is in the 14 – 18 years range…something about the writing style. I may be wrong, of course.
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WOW!
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I’d say an underachieving 7 year old.
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@ Wench Nikkiee
“She?”, yes i dare say it is a she, remember “cute name bobby”. They say alot of pleases, and that doesn’t indicate to me that it would be a general he. also, the use of the emoticon at the end, most males simply wouldn’t put in that much thought or effort into making a constipated emoticon. The way they have typed not in whole sentences, but in lines shows me that they probably write songs, or poetry, as that would be the general layout. So yeah, i think i can tell it is a she. ( i have done self study on pschological profiling).
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“I’d say an underachieving 7 year old.”
I don’t think it’s that young…for one thing, it managed to spell “evolution” without one less “i” and one more “o”.
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sorry…meant without one less “o” and one more “i” as in “evilution”.
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definitely a girl, and I am guessing 15 or 16 :)
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This is fun – do we get to guess their IQ next? ;)
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Well personally I don’t care if it is a he or she. It is obviously very young and obviously very brainwashed. I think we should go and beat the parents who would manipulate the minds of young children. Imagine if your kid grew up thinking that god was real…how devastating would that be?
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1. B☠☠ty Oct 4th, 2007 at 5:54 am
“This is fun – do we get to guess their IQ next? ;)”
Once again I’ll go for 7.
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I’ve herd about pushy parents getting their kids to talk to the press and pretend they took the initiative to complain/ campaign for something when it’s all planed and executed by the parents. Wouldn’t be the first time the god boxes have used that particular ploy. Like the kids Louis Theroux met in that weird christen cult. Their mum (guess dad got the fuck out of there) told them to stand outside the church where funerals for soldiers were taking place carrying a sign saying “Fag Soldiers” because they considered a funeral worshiping the dead and therefore blasphemy.
.
Should be charged as child abuse.
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Good point IB and Pluto (can I please scratch you behind the ears?)
Let’s go beat up the fundie parents – poor kid was probably home ed too, which explains the terrible typing.
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You wana do what to me!? never had that request before.
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We should tie their parents to the branch of a tree then tell them that “Jesus filled mummy and daddy with god candy.” Then give the little ones a big fucking stick and lit them play piñatas
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Oh right, the Disney dog. I lost you for a moment there I have along history of being atracting weird-o’s so I keep a look out nowdays.
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I don’t know; I was kinda digging the e.e. cummings, blank-verse feel of the whole thing. Perhaps we’re underestimating the intelligence of the original poster…
Nah.
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@Dread Amish Pirate John- Perhaps they just want us to think they are all brain dead illiterates. That way we won’t see it coming… Ok I’m scared now!
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@pluto – My eldest has a real thing for cuddly dogs – we have several pluto’s :)
I like the xian pinatas idea!
@DAPJ – interesting – will we get hate mail haiku’s next?
Anyone want to try one?
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S’ok, a few people think that’s were the tag came from. Actually came from the Hills have Eyes, so not really as cuddly as most think.
I seem to remember a few cases of kids in the US divorcing their parents. We could start a campaign to encourage fundie kids to do the same.
How evil would they paint us then? Can see it now:
“FSM stole my family to make Satanic Pastor”.
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Surely “saucy pasta”? Or was that deliberate? :D
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So, you aren’t a dog with floppy ears that lives with Mickey Mouse then?
Damn – my illusions are shattered once again!
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FYI – I am not a pile of gold either ;P But I do enjoy a good plunder. :)
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And this is exactly why religion is dangerous. Not only does it close the mind to alternative hypotheses, but it seemingly tampers with your ability to spell.
I’d have to dispute the whole underage thing, as many a fundie I have come across on the Interweb doesn’t seem to be any more able to type as though their keyboard wasn’t a chew toy than this bright spark here.
A classic example of religious ignorance. How can they seriously believe that the FSM doesn’t exist? Of course He does, I can see Him every time I have pasta.
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@ B☠☠ty
In reply to you last 3 posts.
1) No I didn’t. But let’s just pretend I did so I don’t look stupid.
2) No I’m more of a rascally cur. And there was a mouse in my house, but my cat left is eviscerated remains on my pillow last week.
3) I actually thought you meant the other type of booty.
PS if a little harmless plundering is on offer you can scratch where you like.
@ Nephelos – Thats cos spell are used in witch craft and witch craft is evil. Thats why they don’t use the spell checker. If it was called “The Angelic word corrector of the Lord” they might be more inclined to use it.
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Pluto, Louis Theroux did a documentary about that family that goes around picketing the funerals, it was very interesting (thats probably the best word to use!)
I’m sure its on youtube, but aint got time to find it at the moment.
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I believe that this (>_
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Sorry, I am having the same issue as Pluto…
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>_
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@ Bookem
Yer I saw it. The scary bit was the whole “If you die its cos god wants you to die cos he hates you.” I’m assuming they have yet to consider how their kid will feel if they are in a car crash, or even die of old age.
And that’s anther point. They claim that god can make people drink drive and start wars to punish people. But if this was the case he would be the one to make people gay or an atheist (2 groups they hate in particular).
They are in defiance of their own warped logic.
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Odd huh?
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@ Pluto – Thanks!
I am married to a lovely pirate of my own who does the plundering these days, but it is always nice to have an offer :D
We have 2 kittens, and I suspect that eviscerated mouse will very shortly be on the menu!
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No probs Booty
This ones for you (taken from the urban Dictionary)
Booty
1. Pirate treasure, plunder or other ill-gotten gains
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2. Butt, ass, specifically female posterior
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3. sex, screwing
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I take it they all apply?
Apparently dismembered body parts are a sign of affection to cats. Why not a bunch of flowers or tea in bed. She dose cleans my hair for me too, which is kind of weird.
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Oh – perfect – Yes, that’s me :)
Yes, at the moment our kittens seem to think that gouging chunks of flesh out of you is a sign of affection – I look like I have been dragged through a bramble hedge backwards!
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BTW I didn’t know about the sex one!
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I like her. I think she has a jazzy style that I can really tap my toes to while reading. (Not now, Senator Craig, come back later). I just wish I could be so fresh, Fresh, FRESH! with my writing style. She is an inspiration to me…she lights up my life like a penlight in a blizzard.
Makes me want to start sending Bobby fake hate-mail…just so the level of discourse between the haters and us could raise a few dozen IQ points.
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@booty-Yer, I only found out this year. A cuz of mine from the US used the term ‘booty call’ with reference to calling up her fuck buddy.
Got a good cat story.
When I was a boy my mum got married to a total tool.
Well my ex-step father was having a piss one day when our old cat, a ginger tom, came strolling in. Now, evidently, he thought he was looking at a new cat tool because the next thing he did was jump up on the seat and take a big chunk out of his new “scratching post”.
It proved to me that cats can sense evil.
@Rob- Perhaps we should write to them and just criticize their spelling. Nothing about god or religion, just where they go wrong educationally.
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Isn’t it interesting how many nuts are out there telling people out of one side of their mouths how much god loves us. Then (usually in the same sentence) and out of the other side of their mouths, they tell us how god hates us and will be sending us directly to hell. Don’t they see the contradiction in that?
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Do they know what contradiction means?
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Personally I happen to have a ginormous German Shepherd, interestingly enough she loves cats. We call them Lolly Cats, because when she manages to get one that will tolerate her being around, she licks them until they end up with heads that are soaking wet from dog spit.
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Sounds like she loves the taste but does not like what it does to her weight.
.
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@Iron Bess
That is a lovely image. Two of my pups love cats (and bunnies too), while the third find out cat to be an excellent toy.
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@IB – The fundies don’t look at it as a contradiction. I think that the fundies are doing false sales. They really mean the gawd loves all his followers and could give a squat about every one else. Screw the christian gawd.
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The last time a fundie stopped me to make his pitch I asked him one question. What if the muslims are right? He was speachless. I commented on the strength of his faith as I walked away.
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Does Jingles’ Fuckwit Finder have anything for using more lines then neccessary? Or is this a really bad poem?
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I’m gonna try a fundie hate-haiku, if it’s even possible.
~
Your God is a Fake
You are all going to Hell
Screw the FSM
~
That sounds like a good fundie hate-haiku
~
On a related note, to quote Phil Plait (the Bad Astronomer)
I don’t believe in anything, especially rock solid facts. I know evolution is real. Belief is for things without evidence.
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I don’t about the fuckwit finder, but surely there’s something about excessive use of punctuation.
What do six question marks mean?
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“but whats the deal with fsm??????
pretty weird??……” Says you. I think it makes a lot more sense than most major religions!
‘
“i mean
its not right!!!!” Why not? Ok, we might not have started wars and bullied people into our way of thinking but do really have to do that to make our religion the “right one”?
“and FSM is NOT REAL!!!!!!” Prove it! Prove that God IS real and the FSM isn’t…..
‘
“can you just stop making up crazy things!!!!” Why? Thats what religion does best!
“whats your motive????
getting everyones attention???
creating money???
god hater???” No. How can you hate god when you don’t believe in him/her/it? Why do you hate the FSM is you don’t believe in HIM. Or are you worried we might be right and you are wrong?
‘
“your making the world even more havoc than usual!!!”
By adding a little humour and happiness? Most of the wars and persecution are done in the name of Allah or God. Can’t think of any wars started in the name of FSM
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Evangelicals and fundamentalists don’t really know their Bible as well as they think they do. Oh, they may read it a lot. As if it were an interesting book and not some seven hundred page snoozer. But it seems most of what they say comes out of their own mind with a few verses tacked on to justify their own thoughts and prejudices. Either that, or they just repeat what they hear about the Bible from the pulpit every Sunday. But, I must admit there are a handful of ok ones. I’ve known one or two. It’s a rare find, like a sighting of the holy FSM you may only be blessed with it once in your lifetime. Seriously, stop letting your cat step all over your keyboard, it’s typing out a bunch of ignorance and seems to like the ! and ? keys.
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“plus your spaghetti monster looks like a snail………..”
How dare you! Your so called “god” looks like one of ZZ Top’s Grandpa’s!
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Maybe you can’t get taken seriously as a major world religion until you’ve caused the deaths of a few million innocent people.
.
Perhaps that’s where we’re going wrong. It’s some sort of rite of passage in to the big club!
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Well the good news is that at least they had the common courtesy to include ♥s at the end of the hate-mail.
RAmen
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Booty said:
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You are to me Booty. You are to me.
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Not a shower of gold – that sounds icky. But a couple of lovely piles of good, certainly.
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We are pirates, whole scale war is not our thing. Skirmishes, yes, but big organized war, no. Besides, if we are at war, who is going to battle the ninjas?
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I loved the zz top grandpa’s comment
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@OEW- Pirates and ninjas shouldn’t fight!
They should form a gang of spooky ninja ghost pirates! Then they could haunt all the churches and scare away those meddling Christens and their dumb god, a-la Scooby-Do!
That would make Jesus Scrappy-Do and Ted Haggard can be Fred as they are both total closet cases (it takes a man vey confident in his sexuality to pull off a pink neck scarf/tight jean combo).
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Pluto – check out the Gospel, all will be explained regarding hari krishna’s and ninjas
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The alternating hearts and squish-eye smilies make me wonder. Does C. H. have a love/hate relationship with Bobby?
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@ OEW – “The last time a fundie stopped me to make his pitch I asked him one question. What if the muslims are right? He was speachless. I commented on the strength of his faith as I walked away.” Fantastic! I love it! RAmen to you for that one…
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Fuck that! I want my spooky ninja ghost pirates and I want them now!
DON’T FORCE ME TO WRITE IN CAP’S TO GET MY POINT ACROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!?!
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The way that was written looks poetic in a dadaist sorta way.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Situationalism
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“anyways stop making up these stories and get real!!!!”
Heh. Heheh. Funny.
Seriously now. I don’t understand the format of this letter. Every fifth word starts a new line.
wtf, please?
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This is why cousins should not marry.
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@Commodore Angryy Oct 4th, 2007 at 5:42 am
Wench Nikkiee
“So yeah, i think i can tell it is a she. ( i have done self study on pschological profiling).”
.
Well now that you point it all out …I’d say good call.
Very impressive Angryy :)
RAmen
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@Pluto Oct 4th, 2007 at 8:57 am
“Perhaps we should write to them and just criticize their spelling. Nothing about god or religion, just where they go wrong educationally.”
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Don’t ya know that all that buybull teaching doesn’t leave no time for leaning those useless three R’s. I mean who needs grammar in *heaven*? Right?
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۞ Oct 4th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
“Maybe you can’t get taken seriously as a major world religion until you’ve caused the deaths of a few million innocent people.”
.
You may be right ۞
Well since it’s against our beliefs for people to die in the name of our religion, you think we could make a representation of it by just tagging them with paint or something? Or maybe use an FSM stamp and stamp lots of innocents?
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The format of this letter has a lyrical quality to it.
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“don’t mock GOD please!” Why not? Can’t he take a joke?
The FSM can. He has a great sense of humour!
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test
>:O===Q<
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the code for < is: & l t ;
(remove the spaces)
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This hate-mailer looks like s/he’s trying to write a poem.
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test
test
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test
>:O===Q<
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hehehehehehehe…thanks Aris :)
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I wonder what <em> & <strong> do.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Trial & Error
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nothing, < dammit! >
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BTW: I pointed out the poetic quality of this hatemail first. So nyer, nyer.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Dadaist Concepts
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Please!!111!!!
Stop mocking ZZ Top’s ancestry!!1!1!!!!
why do u’s guys have to be such h8terz?!?!?!
All ZZ Top ever did wuz drive cool carz, make da money money,
And RAmen, some Awesome Gospel!
Every Girl’s Crazy ‘Bout a Sharp Dressed Man!!
Yarrr!!!
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@Aristotle, The One and Only “This hate-mailer looks like s/he’s trying to write a poem.”
‘
There once was a fellow called Jesus.
Whos dad sent him to earth to please us.
But his followers were dim.
Acted nothing like him.
So we all turned to noodles to lead us!
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@ Pluto – Even though it does drive me nuts when things are spelled wrong and the grammar is awful, I try to limit my comments on style as best I can (with some exceptions), and only focus on the message. But, it would be funny to, just for one comment section, talk nothing about their message, and only focus on word choice, punctuation, and grammar.
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That’s what I’m getting at. They expect us to rip into their beliefs and we got right to the soft spot. Their lack of a decent education.
There should be a special reply button where we can correct the spelling in red, mark it out of 10 then send it back to them.
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Pluto – That sounds like a great suggestion for Bobby. He can give both the original and the marked up copy sent back to the hate mailer. Although, Bobby has a physics degree, english is probably not his strong suit. You know us science guys, we can’t write for shit.
.
Wench Cyka – You forgot to mention the babes. ZZ Top vids had the best chicks. Yes I am objectifying women. But just look in the mirror, nature made you to be lusted after!
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Ramen to that poem Davros.
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@Commodore Angryy: Glad you liked it.
Maybe we could have a few more poems, and hymns to the FSM on the site?
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All things bright and beautiful.
All midgets short and small.
Pirates are so wonderful.
His noodliness made them all.
‘
Ok, he cocked a few things up.
The way Celine Dion sings.
But hey, he was a little drunk.
When HE created things.
‘
The Rich man in his castle.
The Pirate in his ship.
An after-life with beer vocations.
And factories with girls that strip. (or guys if you’re a girly or a gay man)
‘
The purple headed mountains (no laughing at this line)
And Jimi Hendrix too.
He created Mormons for a laugh.
And Scooby Dooby Dooooooo!!!!!
‘
All things bright and beautiful.
All midgets short and small.
Pirates are so wonderful.
His noodliness made them all.
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@ OeW
Hey, that depends on your perspective!
I used to take regular smoke breaks in the army when the rangers went for their 3 daily runs in their cute little shorts, but I didn’t acutally smoke. Some sergeant commented on this obvious fact once, I cocked a smartass half smile at all the smokers around me and said ever heard of second-hand?
We wenches can appreciate a nicely filled pair of jeans ourselves ya know! Not to mention some sweet abs… yeah!
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Stop. Mirror time!
.
okay cute name, “God”………..
but whats the deal with the Christian god??????
pretty weird??…….
don’t mock the FSM please!
i mean
its not right!!!!
and “God” is NOT REAL!!!!!!
you shouldn’t be going around and making lies!!!!!
not cool………
can you just stop making up crazy things!!!!
whats your motive????
getting everyones attention???
creating money???
FSM hater???
believer in intelligent design????
what???
anyways stop making up these stories and get real!!!!
gets really annoying!!!
your making the world even more havoc than usual!!!
and plus your god man looks like a hippie………..
stop doing this junk and get a better life okay???
_
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@Davros the Dalek dude.
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I f**king love your song.
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Does “The way that Britney sings.” scan better?
.
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If there was a top secret underground society of Pastafarians – and there isn’t – I think they should adopt that song as their anthem.
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@Wench Cyka – what is good for the goose is good for the gander.
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Davros – I like the tune, need to record it as back ground music for the site.
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I’ve decided next time some fundamentalist stops me and asks me if I have Jesus I’ll respond in one of two ways:
“What? Have you people lost him again? You want me to convert to your faith when you can’t even keep track of your own god?”
Or
“Once I had Jesus three times in one night. It was wonderful!”
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At least we know where our god is. Up there in Heaven drinking out of the beer volcano and hanging with the strippers.
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So that’s why xians are so pleased when someone says they’ve found Jesus.
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@Weet Barley: Or you could pull out piece of Edam and says “There you go…. Oh sorry, I thought you asked me if I had cheeses?”
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Cheeses, delicious on Ryvita – the holey toast.
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^^ well, the more people that look for him, the bigger the chance they’lll actually find him, right?
would be nice if they really found him, like, could phisically show him to us.
maybe he could convince them he’s the son of the FSM, might save us a lot of talking.
in fact, it would be nice if I found him, then I’d win those, how mant ramen was it again?
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“creating money???”
Accusing someone of money laundering just because they don’t agree with you beliefs? For shame. And you cal yourself a good Christian….
“your making the world even more havoc than usual!!!”
I think someone needs to let her know that havoc is a noun, not an adjective.
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Hi Nymphadora,
Say, you don’t by chance have a sister named Dina Moe Hum, do you?
Just wondering.
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Not that I’m aware of. Sorry.
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Well, it’s good to be home after a little foray into the depths of a Christian forum, where I feel I have to play nice. To the original poster of this thread, screw you! There, now I feel better.
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Meow!
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Everyone knows that a ship’s cat could leave a wabbit in small chunks in Cook’s galley anytime he felt like it! He was probably just playing cat and mou- uh, wabbit! besides, cats can always seem to get into or out of anywhere they want, no matter what you do to stop them if you get one of the smart and stubborn ones, which any of the sea faring variety would naturally have to be!
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I’m having an argument with a friend at the moment, and i need answers. how many Christians were there in the first 4 years after Jesus’ death?
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I like the little triple thing they’ve got going on. I hate this!!! can i have a cookie??? when do i get home from preschool???
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There are no definitive numbers regarding the number of Christians at that time because essentially it was viewed as yet another Jewish sect (which was very divided into various sects at the time) by all outsiders and among the Christians themselves there was no central authority or formal “chuch” to keep track of the number. Any spectuation about the number of Xtians “first 4 years after Jesus’ death” is purely unsubstantiated speculation. The separation of the early Xtians from the Jewish world was a slow and gradual process and remember that at that time, Judaism – like Christianity – was a missionary religion out actively making converts, so outsiders really saw no difference. By the second century, the numbers of Xtians in particular communities (Jerusalem, Alexandiria, Rome, &c.) were given as they had local authorities and a more formalized structure. But prior to this, there are no valid numbers.
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Sorry for the typos…
There are no definitive numbers regarding the number of Christians at that time because essentially it was viewed as yet another Jewish sect (which was very divided at the time) by all outsiders and among the Christians themselves there was no central authority or formal “church” to keep track of the number. Any speculation about the number of Xtians “first 4 years after Jesus’ death” is purely unsubstantiated speculation. The separation of the early Xtians from the Jewish world was a slow and gradual process and remember that at that time, Judaism – like Christianity – was a missionary religion out actively making converts, so outsiders really saw no difference. By the second century, the numbers of Xtians in particular communities (Jerusalem, Alexandria, Rome, &c.) were given as they had local authorities and a more formalized structure. But prior to this, there are no valid numbers.
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Well, do you have anything to say to the number: 100,000 in the first 4 years. because personally i don’t think that number could have been achievable until the Roman empire converted around 330 years later.
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oh, how i love hate mails that obviously shows how little the writer knows about our religion.
she doesn’t know why this religion is up (even though it’s obvious, how else did we come to this universe if it’s not thanks to a flying spaghetti monster?!)
thank you religion, for shutting people’s minds down and make them scared to question their reality, just so you could stay in charge, thank you.
*salutes*
*
RAmen everyone!
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“Well, do you have anything to say to the number: 100,000 in the first 4 years.”
No, and just as importantly, no one else does either. That is not to say that someone hasn’t said this, but we know that religious people in general don’t have any qualms about making up answers to questions they can’t find a real answer to. There is absolutely, positively no legitimate historical record that lends any credit to the “100,000″ number. I will agree that this seems unlikely that soon after Jesus died, but by the second century (the 100’s) it was well over 100,000 (see Robin Lane Fox, “Pagans and Christians” Harper & Row Pub., 1987 and/or Will Durrant, “Ceasar and Christ” The Story of Civiliazation, Volume III, Simon & Shuster, 1944). By the time Constantine institutionalized Christianity, there were millions upon millions of them (his decision wouldn’t have made sense otherwise) coupled with Mithraists (who shared a lot with the Christians, like the cross symbol and the like).
Hope this helps – all praise FSM.
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“thank you religion, for shutting people’s minds down and make them scared to question their reality, just so you could stay in charge, thank you.”
LOL – great comment. :)
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@Commodore Angryy
Well assuming that jesus was real (solely for the sake of argument, I assure you) I would have to guess that there were no christians whatsoever. This is just a guess because I don’t think four years is enough time to change a message from one of love (like that of jesus) to one of hate (like that of christians). Granted this is just a guess, but, hey, if your friend can’t disprove it, it must be true.
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Anyone seen that fark thing about that nutso family TLC is Supporting in their insane quest to outdo the rabbits in Australia? Fark went with the mild heading of Vagina: It’s not a clown car.
.
TLC – Those Loonie Christians – furnished these morons’ house for them! Thus, encouraging this deranged xian female to continue spitting out kids like a pez dispenser! eeewwww! Tell me, you know how a highway looks after a few years of hard use? I wonder what kind of depth charges her husband now needs to find the correct fold! Or, if he does not bother to try, I think we should scrap our next Olympic swimming team and simply enter his sperm in all events instead! I mean damn! They must have some serious stamina! His testicles should be retrieved be the government for further study, and for all gods’ sakes, to stop those people from any more breeding!!
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LOL w/ Cyka – can you post a link? I’m curious now…
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Eh, might take me a day or 2, my best friend sent it to me on my new door stop. I am now on a hand me down lap top, so I’ll have to get her to resend it, as that stupid POS ate that email addy too, virus ridden fundie POS!!111oneoneone!!!one!
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Wench Cyka, that is truly some of the grossest terminoligy, and olympic sporting events i have ever heard.
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Why thank you! I do try. Did you vomit in your mind a little? I consider it extra points for that, hehe.
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So, mind explaining why we’re not allowed to disagree your god, yet you do exactly that to our god for the rest of your letter?
I like pie! Meeps!
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Hey! I smell a red herring! You sir are articulate and seem vaguely educated! Therefore this equation does NOT equal fundie! We don’t say the Christian god doesn’t exist, just ask stupid fundies to prove that he does and that the almighty drunken FSM does not. Personally, I could care less if the Christian deity hangs around or not; that is simply not my path. My question sir, is what is YOUR motive here, oh articulate one?!?
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Wench Cyka Oct 5th, 2007 at 10:45 pm
“Eh, might take me a day or 2, my best friend sent it to me on my new door stop.”
.
Curiosity got the better of me so I googled Vagina: It’s not a town car. Heaps of hits :)
.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dulamae/175866636/
.
Does anyone else flash on the Adams Family when they look at that photo?
I don’t think even our rabbits are that good….or bad whichever way you look at it.
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The father has a red face – lots of burst blood vessels.
Looking at her, he has to work very hard to deliver the goods.
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Only 14 of them in that pic. Add 3 since it was taken.
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Looking at her mullet, wouldn’t you?
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She must have to cross her legs to stop the foetus from falling out.
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HAHAHA I was just discussing that with a friend yesterday! How do they still manage to hang on? Has she developed a kangaroo pouch to defy gravity?
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I’m not saying she’s got a loose vagina, but can anyone else hear an echo? echo? echo?
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OH YOUR MAJESTY OF OVERUSED PUNCTUATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM MOVED BY YOUR EXCLAMAITION AND QUESTION MARKS SO VERY MUCH THAT I WILL STOP BELIEVING IN THE FSM AND SWITCH TO A GOD THAT THERE IS AN EQUAL POSSIBILITY OF NON-EXISTENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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So I’ll have to give my cheese away? Mmm… Cheeses of Nazareth. It now comes in a special gift basket with crackers and olives.
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Ships Cat
Oct 5th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
Meow!
*
Hai cat! Are you OK? I’ve been so worried about you! :)
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Like I said on something in the “Love Mail” section, is it really a lie if so many people believe in it? I think not…
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Link to love mail-
http://www.venganza.org/category/lovemail
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weet Barley,
.
I think Nazareth, you can get two Orange cheddars on a wooden X.
It’s known as Cheeses dyed on a cross.
.
Is that enough cheeses jokes yet?
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Fsm is just as much real as any other god. We are not mocking your god at all, you are mocking ours by calling it unreal.
raman.
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you know what else “gets really annoying”? people who use excessive punctuation!!!!???!!!!?!!
i think you must be very stressed (and possible hypoglycemic) and you need to welcome the nutriciousness of the fsm into your life
Ramen
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> don’t mock GOD please!
For the life of me I just don’t understand people who think that Pastafarianism is “mocking god”. It’s worshipping god you dolts!!! How much more clear could we be. It’s those pesky atheists who mock god; we Pastafarians worship the one true god and have evidence to back it up.
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hmm i think his motive is getting peopel to think. dont get me wrong i believe in God. but creationism? no way.
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ok first of all this is my first post, so hi.
next… i found out about u guys through uncyclopedia and i love all of it
but now to the point who ever C.H. is there a huge pussy. if they cant take even a simple parody and they are so insecure with there belefs that they say we dont have lives for making it… well who wrote the bible and all that shit… why arnt they losers i mean they made up crap about so omnipresent creator.(if i spelled stuff wrong its cuz im only 14 and suck at spelling) and even if christian god is the real god if he cant take a joke either and were all burning in hell than so be it. (although i hope he does have a good sense of humor or im totaly screwed) the people that fell it is nesicary to hate mail people are either A: to insecure and afrade that they r wrong. or B: so damn ignorant that they hate all others who are different… GHHHHHH I HATE IGNORANCE… w/e
Ramen
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how nice.. trying to make his obnoxious personality likeable by adding a few “
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The only people who think the FSM is “mocking god” are those who are admitting that ID is trying to shove Their god into schools! Thus! They are Proving our point for us! Thank you Sooo much! The more of this kind of hate mail you send, the less power the ID camp has to sound rational! Go hate mailers!!!
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Why are we getting so much hate from a religion that teaches to Love thy neighbor…
Oh yeah because they’re pushing their religion upon us. BASTARDS.
Ramen
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RAmen to that.
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야 바보를 너 다 주거십치!!!!!! 다주거!!!!!! 개새기를!!!!! 내 스넌거 닦 마저!!!!!! 바보 바보 바보………. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ …………다주거 ………… stupid………….
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god does not exist
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What??? NO!!!
Seriously. You only need one question mark per sentence, only one question mark per sentence!!! Do you understand???
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Unbeliever!
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No way to prove FSM isn’t true nor false, and no way to prove god true or made up. I think its pretty equal. and in my mind noodles come way before everything! :)
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And besides, there’s always noodles for everyone. Gluten free noodles, wheat free noodles, noodles galore, with no added guilt/sin.
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C.H: 3/10
See me after class.
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You MOCK the allmighty Flying Spaghetti Monster *in the name of all noodlism!* by saying that Flyin Spaghetti Monster *in the name of all noodlism* IS MOCKING YOUR FALSE GOD!
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AHHH!!!!!
I WRITE HATE MAIL AND AM OBNOXIOUS!!!!!!
Do I actually think about what I’m writing?????
PROBABLY NOT!!!!111
Obnoxious!!!!
Obnoxious???
Obnoxious!!!
Oh, and by the way, you’re deity looks like a snail (talk about insight)
MORE OBNOXIOUSNESS!!?!?!?
-
Wait, guess who I am (I’ll give you a clue, my initials are in the word C.H.Idiot)?
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WTF is the heart symbol about
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That;s not right!?!?! Then what is right to christians huh? sending people into other countries to rape and pillage then tell them to accept god? using up money to build a church when the money could be spent to alleviate world hunger and fight crimes? Brainwashing children so they become intolerant of other cultures and people much like how Bush is? Attempt to control everything just because they believe they have the backing of GOD? Next time before you say what is right or wrong, realize the fact that saying anything has moral values is very subjective and arbitrary to each individual.
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I like how “evolution believer” is right up there with “God-hater”, “money creator”, “havoc causer”, “attention craver” and “being annoying”.
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-pretty weird??…….
you think a mass of flying noodles is weird?
-don’t mock GOD please!
you are making a mockery of FSM by implying our belief system is made to mock your god.
-i mean its not right!!!!
no, you’re not.
-and FSM is NOT REAL!!!!!!
oh yeah? prove it. and while you’re at it, prove the existence of your senior citizen deity.
-you shouldn’t be going around and making lies!!!!!
who says we’re making up anything? can you disprove us? didn’t think so.
-not cool………
au contraire…
-can you just stop making up crazy things!!!!
and just what is so crazy about a flying mass of spaghetti?
-whats your motive????
to enlighten narrow-minded folk and bring His Noodlyness to light.
-creating money???
um, no, that would be what the U.S. mint does.
-god hater???
you can’t hate something that doesn’t exist.
-believer in evolution????
you say that like it’s crazy.
-anyways stop making up these stories and get real!!!!
for your information, our prophet told us these stories so i know i can put credence in this entire religion. silly. he even wrote it down.
-gets really annoying!!!
you know what else is annoying? redundant, closed-minded, many-exclamation-pointed, unfounded, and idiotic hate-mail messages.
-your making the world even more havoc than usual!!!
i didn’t know ‘havoc’ could be used as an adjective. ‘chaotic’ might be a better choice next time. you would know that if you’d bothered to get an education, and based on your message, i feel pretty comfortable in saying that you probably slept through critical thinking & english classes.
-and plus your spaghetti monster looks like a snail………..
hmm…so uncharacteristic of a christian to stoop to ridiculing other religions’ deities.
-stop doing this junk and get a better life okay???
hmm someone doesn’t like pasta. and what is so much better about your life? i reserve the right to pursue happiness where i choose.
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Hah. You assume the FSM isn’t real and you assume god is real…
they’re taking god away from you apprently, then simply ignore them if you feel victimised [no idea wehy u shud do tho]
Why should they stop their religion? That would be YOU taking away their GOD.
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okay cute name bobby………..
but whats the deal with fsm??????
He is our holy creator
pretty weird??…….
No more than any other religion
don’t mock GOD please!
We are worshiping our god
i mean
its not right!!!!
? since when is it wrong to believe what you believe, this is America
and FSM is NOT REAL!!!!!!
can you prove this for me??????????????????????????????
you shouldn’t be going around and making lies!!!!!
we aren’t, we are simply spreading the truth our holy creator FSM sent down to us from heaven
not cool………
why not?
can you just stop making up crazy things!!!!
we aren’t……
whats your motive????
to spread the knowledge of our holy creator
getting everyones attention???
that would be nice
creating money???
nah, His holy NOODLYNESS will provide us with all we need
god hater???
how do we hate god if we worship him?
believer in evolution????
yep
what???
you lost me….
anyways stop making up these stories and get real!!!!
we are being real
gets really annoying!!!
yes, you do
your making the world even more havoc than usual!!!
we are spreading his holy truths and making the world a better place
and plus your spaghetti monster looks like a snail………..
what’s your god look like?
stop doing this junk and get a better life okay???
I have the perfect life with the FSM at my side
_
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“creating money???”
am I crazy, or where we just accused of counterfeiting?
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If you wanted to make an impact on us why did you put a picture of a constipated person at the bottom?
You obviously have had any original thought erased from your mind so i’ll make this simple.
I know you’re trying to emphasize but Pastafarians aren’t so stupid that if we see a single question mark we’ll wonder if it’s really a question.
It’s not right!!!!!!
Can i just ask, do you actually know what your god looks like?
The FSM could very easily be your god, you just don’t know it. But don’t feel bad that he lied to you and told us the truth, you were told what you could understand, like children.
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Did we just get flamed by E.E. Cummings?
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Why do find it annoying? DOes it shake the foundation of belief your religion and therefor entier life revolve around? Is it so scary to think that God may not ACTUALLY exist? Are you so blinded by Christianity that you forget 2,000 years ago YOU WERE US?! How long did you stupid jerks worship in secret and get stoned to death for beleiving that there was only ONE GOD??? Get over yourself. You’re not God. You’ve never seen/smelled/tasted/touched or heard from him so why is he any more real than FSM??
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PASTAFARIANS:
.
This person does not write intelligently. This person insults you. This person is disrespectful of your religion and your god.
.
So, to prove to this person how wrong he or she is, you insult him/her and disrespect Christianity because this person claims to be a Christian.
.
MAYBE, just maybe, Christianity is not to blame for all the spelling/grammar/capitalization errors, disrespect, and unintelligent speech that this person types. If this person had freckles, would you say that his/her freckles caused all the things you find annoying about him/her?
.
In other words, PLEASE STOP using posts that you don’t like that happen to be from Christians to vent all the frustrations and the things you find wrong with Christianity. If I judged Pastafarians this way, I wouldn’t be here.
.
THANKS,
Rachel
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everything needs multiple punctuation marks!!!!!!!!!!! —the 13 year old, zach
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Well, he or she did say “please”…
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first of all, you are the one mocking OUR God. You imply that God, instead of being made of mystical noodles, is made of common flesh. How could a divine being be made of not divine flesh?
As far as motive for preaching FSMism, we are driven only by our love of FSM and our desire to get into heaven.
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Well, I don’t think your god is real!!! So what makes you so sure that your right and I’m wrong!
P.S. Ramen
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Hmm, lies…
The idea that the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side is a lie! He was actually trying to get away from the previous side! The whole concept is a tradition enforced LIE!…or is it?
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Then get every Christian everywhere to cease going door to door or standing around on street corners pronouncing their religion. We’ll be even.
Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you and may His Sauce rain down upon you,
-GM
RAmen
If you have any questions about or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net
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