okay cute name bobby………..
but whats the deal with fsm??????
pretty weird??…….
don’t mock GOD please!
i mean
its not right!!!!
and FSM is NOT REAL!!!!!!
you shouldn’t be going around and making lies!!!!!
not cool………
can you just stop making up crazy things!!!!
whats your motive????
getting everyones attention???
creating money???
god hater???
believer in evolution????
what???
anyways stop making up these stories and get real!!!!
gets really annoying!!!
your making the world even more havoc than usual!!!
and plus your spaghetti monster looks like a snail………..
stop doing this junk and get a better life okay???
<3 C.H.
stop!!!! <3 please >_<
but whats the deal with fsmb
Published by Bobby Henderson October 4th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 201 Comments
201 Responses to “but whats the deal with fsmb”
۞ Oct 4th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
“Maybe you can’t get taken seriously as a major world religion until you’ve caused the deaths of a few million innocent people.”
.
You may be right ۞
Well since it’s against our beliefs for people to die in the name of our religion, you think we could make a representation of it by just tagging them with paint or something? Or maybe use an FSM stamp and stamp lots of innocents?
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The format of this letter has a lyrical quality to it.
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“don’t mock GOD please!” Why not? Can’t he take a joke?
The FSM can. He has a great sense of humour!
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test
>:O===Q<
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the code for < is: & l t ;
(remove the spaces)
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This hate-mailer looks like s/he’s trying to write a poem.
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test
test
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test
>:O===Q<
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hehehehehehehe…thanks Aris :)
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I wonder what <em> & <strong> do.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Trial & Error
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nothing, < dammit! >
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BTW: I pointed out the poetic quality of this hatemail first. So nyer, nyer.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Dadaist Concepts
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Please!!111!!!
Stop mocking ZZ Top’s ancestry!!1!1!!!!
why do u’s guys have to be such h8terz?!?!?!
All ZZ Top ever did wuz drive cool carz, make da money money,
And RAmen, some Awesome Gospel!
Every Girl’s Crazy ‘Bout a Sharp Dressed Man!!
Yarrr!!!
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@Aristotle, The One and Only “This hate-mailer looks like s/he’s trying to write a poem.”
‘
There once was a fellow called Jesus.
Whos dad sent him to earth to please us.
But his followers were dim.
Acted nothing like him.
So we all turned to noodles to lead us!
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@ Pluto – Even though it does drive me nuts when things are spelled wrong and the grammar is awful, I try to limit my comments on style as best I can (with some exceptions), and only focus on the message. But, it would be funny to, just for one comment section, talk nothing about their message, and only focus on word choice, punctuation, and grammar.
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That’s what I’m getting at. They expect us to rip into their beliefs and we got right to the soft spot. Their lack of a decent education.
There should be a special reply button where we can correct the spelling in red, mark it out of 10 then send it back to them.
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Pluto – That sounds like a great suggestion for Bobby. He can give both the original and the marked up copy sent back to the hate mailer. Although, Bobby has a physics degree, english is probably not his strong suit. You know us science guys, we can’t write for shit.
.
Wench Cyka – You forgot to mention the babes. ZZ Top vids had the best chicks. Yes I am objectifying women. But just look in the mirror, nature made you to be lusted after!
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Ramen to that poem Davros.
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@Commodore Angryy: Glad you liked it.
Maybe we could have a few more poems, and hymns to the FSM on the site?
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All things bright and beautiful.
All midgets short and small.
Pirates are so wonderful.
His noodliness made them all.
‘
Ok, he cocked a few things up.
The way Celine Dion sings.
But hey, he was a little drunk.
When HE created things.
‘
The Rich man in his castle.
The Pirate in his ship.
An after-life with beer vocations.
And factories with girls that strip. (or guys if you’re a girly or a gay man)
‘
The purple headed mountains (no laughing at this line)
And Jimi Hendrix too.
He created Mormons for a laugh.
And Scooby Dooby Dooooooo!!!!!
‘
All things bright and beautiful.
All midgets short and small.
Pirates are so wonderful.
His noodliness made them all.
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@ OeW
Hey, that depends on your perspective!
I used to take regular smoke breaks in the army when the rangers went for their 3 daily runs in their cute little shorts, but I didn’t acutally smoke. Some sergeant commented on this obvious fact once, I cocked a smartass half smile at all the smokers around me and said ever heard of second-hand?
We wenches can appreciate a nicely filled pair of jeans ourselves ya know! Not to mention some sweet abs… yeah!
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Stop. Mirror time!
.
okay cute name, “God”………..
but whats the deal with the Christian god??????
pretty weird??…….
don’t mock the FSM please!
i mean
its not right!!!!
and “God” is NOT REAL!!!!!!
you shouldn’t be going around and making lies!!!!!
not cool………
can you just stop making up crazy things!!!!
whats your motive????
getting everyones attention???
creating money???
FSM hater???
believer in intelligent design????
what???
anyways stop making up these stories and get real!!!!
gets really annoying!!!
your making the world even more havoc than usual!!!
and plus your god man looks like a hippie………..
stop doing this junk and get a better life okay???
_
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@Davros the Dalek dude.
.
I f**king love your song.
.
Does “The way that Britney sings.” scan better?
.
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If there was a top secret underground society of Pastafarians – and there isn’t – I think they should adopt that song as their anthem.
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@Wench Cyka – what is good for the goose is good for the gander.
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Davros – I like the tune, need to record it as back ground music for the site.
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I’ve decided next time some fundamentalist stops me and asks me if I have Jesus I’ll respond in one of two ways:
“What? Have you people lost him again? You want me to convert to your faith when you can’t even keep track of your own god?”
Or
“Once I had Jesus three times in one night. It was wonderful!”
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At least we know where our god is. Up there in Heaven drinking out of the beer volcano and hanging with the strippers.
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So that’s why xians are so pleased when someone says they’ve found Jesus.
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@Weet Barley: Or you could pull out piece of Edam and says “There you go…. Oh sorry, I thought you asked me if I had cheeses?”
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Cheeses, delicious on Ryvita – the holey toast.
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^^ well, the more people that look for him, the bigger the chance they’lll actually find him, right?
would be nice if they really found him, like, could phisically show him to us.
maybe he could convince them he’s the son of the FSM, might save us a lot of talking.
in fact, it would be nice if I found him, then I’d win those, how mant ramen was it again?
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“creating money???”
Accusing someone of money laundering just because they don’t agree with you beliefs? For shame. And you cal yourself a good Christian….
“your making the world even more havoc than usual!!!”
I think someone needs to let her know that havoc is a noun, not an adjective.
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Hi Nymphadora,
Say, you don’t by chance have a sister named Dina Moe Hum, do you?
Just wondering.
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Not that I’m aware of. Sorry.
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Well, it’s good to be home after a little foray into the depths of a Christian forum, where I feel I have to play nice. To the original poster of this thread, screw you! There, now I feel better.
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Meow!
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Everyone knows that a ship’s cat could leave a wabbit in small chunks in Cook’s galley anytime he felt like it! He was probably just playing cat and mou- uh, wabbit! besides, cats can always seem to get into or out of anywhere they want, no matter what you do to stop them if you get one of the smart and stubborn ones, which any of the sea faring variety would naturally have to be!
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I’m having an argument with a friend at the moment, and i need answers. how many Christians were there in the first 4 years after Jesus’ death?
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I like the little triple thing they’ve got going on. I hate this!!! can i have a cookie??? when do i get home from preschool???
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There are no definitive numbers regarding the number of Christians at that time because essentially it was viewed as yet another Jewish sect (which was very divided into various sects at the time) by all outsiders and among the Christians themselves there was no central authority or formal “chuch” to keep track of the number. Any spectuation about the number of Xtians “first 4 years after Jesus’ death” is purely unsubstantiated speculation. The separation of the early Xtians from the Jewish world was a slow and gradual process and remember that at that time, Judaism – like Christianity – was a missionary religion out actively making converts, so outsiders really saw no difference. By the second century, the numbers of Xtians in particular communities (Jerusalem, Alexandiria, Rome, &c.) were given as they had local authorities and a more formalized structure. But prior to this, there are no valid numbers.
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Sorry for the typos…
There are no definitive numbers regarding the number of Christians at that time because essentially it was viewed as yet another Jewish sect (which was very divided at the time) by all outsiders and among the Christians themselves there was no central authority or formal “church” to keep track of the number. Any speculation about the number of Xtians “first 4 years after Jesus’ death” is purely unsubstantiated speculation. The separation of the early Xtians from the Jewish world was a slow and gradual process and remember that at that time, Judaism – like Christianity – was a missionary religion out actively making converts, so outsiders really saw no difference. By the second century, the numbers of Xtians in particular communities (Jerusalem, Alexandria, Rome, &c.) were given as they had local authorities and a more formalized structure. But prior to this, there are no valid numbers.
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Well, do you have anything to say to the number: 100,000 in the first 4 years. because personally i don’t think that number could have been achievable until the Roman empire converted around 330 years later.
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oh, how i love hate mails that obviously shows how little the writer knows about our religion.
she doesn’t know why this religion is up (even though it’s obvious, how else did we come to this universe if it’s not thanks to a flying spaghetti monster?!)
thank you religion, for shutting people’s minds down and make them scared to question their reality, just so you could stay in charge, thank you.
*salutes*
*
RAmen everyone!
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“Well, do you have anything to say to the number: 100,000 in the first 4 years.”
No, and just as importantly, no one else does either. That is not to say that someone hasn’t said this, but we know that religious people in general don’t have any qualms about making up answers to questions they can’t find a real answer to. There is absolutely, positively no legitimate historical record that lends any credit to the “100,000″ number. I will agree that this seems unlikely that soon after Jesus died, but by the second century (the 100’s) it was well over 100,000 (see Robin Lane Fox, “Pagans and Christians” Harper & Row Pub., 1987 and/or Will Durrant, “Ceasar and Christ” The Story of Civiliazation, Volume III, Simon & Shuster, 1944). By the time Constantine institutionalized Christianity, there were millions upon millions of them (his decision wouldn’t have made sense otherwise) coupled with Mithraists (who shared a lot with the Christians, like the cross symbol and the like).
Hope this helps – all praise FSM.
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“thank you religion, for shutting people’s minds down and make them scared to question their reality, just so you could stay in charge, thank you.”
LOL – great comment. :)
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@Commodore Angryy
Well assuming that jesus was real (solely for the sake of argument, I assure you) I would have to guess that there were no christians whatsoever. This is just a guess because I don’t think four years is enough time to change a message from one of love (like that of jesus) to one of hate (like that of christians). Granted this is just a guess, but, hey, if your friend can’t disprove it, it must be true.
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Anyone seen that fark thing about that nutso family TLC is Supporting in their insane quest to outdo the rabbits in Australia? Fark went with the mild heading of Vagina: It’s not a clown car.
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TLC – Those Loonie Christians – furnished these morons’ house for them! Thus, encouraging this deranged xian female to continue spitting out kids like a pez dispenser! eeewwww! Tell me, you know how a highway looks after a few years of hard use? I wonder what kind of depth charges her husband now needs to find the correct fold! Or, if he does not bother to try, I think we should scrap our next Olympic swimming team and simply enter his sperm in all events instead! I mean damn! They must have some serious stamina! His testicles should be retrieved be the government for further study, and for all gods’ sakes, to stop those people from any more breeding!!
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LOL w/ Cyka – can you post a link? I’m curious now…
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Eh, might take me a day or 2, my best friend sent it to me on my new door stop. I am now on a hand me down lap top, so I’ll have to get her to resend it, as that stupid POS ate that email addy too, virus ridden fundie POS!!111oneoneone!!!one!
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Wench Cyka, that is truly some of the grossest terminoligy, and olympic sporting events i have ever heard.
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