okay cute name bobby………..
but whats the deal with fsm??????
pretty weird??…….
don’t mock GOD please!
i mean
its not right!!!!
and FSM is NOT REAL!!!!!!
you shouldn’t be going around and making lies!!!!!
not cool………
can you just stop making up crazy things!!!!
whats your motive????
getting everyones attention???
creating money???
god hater???
believer in evolution????
what???
anyways stop making up these stories and get real!!!!
gets really annoying!!!
your making the world even more havoc than usual!!!
and plus your spaghetti monster looks like a snail………..
stop doing this junk and get a better life okay???
<3 C.H.
stop!!!! <3 please >_<
but whats the deal with fsmb
Published by Bobby Henderson October 4th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 201 Comments
201 Responses to “but whats the deal with fsmb”
Well personally I don’t care if it is a he or she. It is obviously very young and obviously very brainwashed. I think we should go and beat the parents who would manipulate the minds of young children. Imagine if your kid grew up thinking that god was real…how devastating would that be?
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1. B☠☠ty Oct 4th, 2007 at 5:54 am
“This is fun – do we get to guess their IQ next? ;)”
Once again I’ll go for 7.
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I’ve herd about pushy parents getting their kids to talk to the press and pretend they took the initiative to complain/ campaign for something when it’s all planed and executed by the parents. Wouldn’t be the first time the god boxes have used that particular ploy. Like the kids Louis Theroux met in that weird christen cult. Their mum (guess dad got the fuck out of there) told them to stand outside the church where funerals for soldiers were taking place carrying a sign saying “Fag Soldiers” because they considered a funeral worshiping the dead and therefore blasphemy.
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Should be charged as child abuse.
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Good point IB and Pluto (can I please scratch you behind the ears?)
Let’s go beat up the fundie parents – poor kid was probably home ed too, which explains the terrible typing.
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You wana do what to me!? never had that request before.
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We should tie their parents to the branch of a tree then tell them that “Jesus filled mummy and daddy with god candy.” Then give the little ones a big fucking stick and lit them play piñatas
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Oh right, the Disney dog. I lost you for a moment there I have along history of being atracting weird-o’s so I keep a look out nowdays.
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I don’t know; I was kinda digging the e.e. cummings, blank-verse feel of the whole thing. Perhaps we’re underestimating the intelligence of the original poster…
Nah.
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@Dread Amish Pirate John- Perhaps they just want us to think they are all brain dead illiterates. That way we won’t see it coming… Ok I’m scared now!
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@pluto – My eldest has a real thing for cuddly dogs – we have several pluto’s :)
I like the xian pinatas idea!
@DAPJ – interesting – will we get hate mail haiku’s next?
Anyone want to try one?
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S’ok, a few people think that’s were the tag came from. Actually came from the Hills have Eyes, so not really as cuddly as most think.
I seem to remember a few cases of kids in the US divorcing their parents. We could start a campaign to encourage fundie kids to do the same.
How evil would they paint us then? Can see it now:
“FSM stole my family to make Satanic Pastor”.
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Surely “saucy pasta”? Or was that deliberate? :D
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So, you aren’t a dog with floppy ears that lives with Mickey Mouse then?
Damn – my illusions are shattered once again!
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FYI – I am not a pile of gold either ;P But I do enjoy a good plunder. :)
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And this is exactly why religion is dangerous. Not only does it close the mind to alternative hypotheses, but it seemingly tampers with your ability to spell.
I’d have to dispute the whole underage thing, as many a fundie I have come across on the Interweb doesn’t seem to be any more able to type as though their keyboard wasn’t a chew toy than this bright spark here.
A classic example of religious ignorance. How can they seriously believe that the FSM doesn’t exist? Of course He does, I can see Him every time I have pasta.
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@ B☠☠ty
In reply to you last 3 posts.
1) No I didn’t. But let’s just pretend I did so I don’t look stupid.
2) No I’m more of a rascally cur. And there was a mouse in my house, but my cat left is eviscerated remains on my pillow last week.
3) I actually thought you meant the other type of booty.
PS if a little harmless plundering is on offer you can scratch where you like.
@ Nephelos – Thats cos spell are used in witch craft and witch craft is evil. Thats why they don’t use the spell checker. If it was called “The Angelic word corrector of the Lord” they might be more inclined to use it.
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Pluto, Louis Theroux did a documentary about that family that goes around picketing the funerals, it was very interesting (thats probably the best word to use!)
I’m sure its on youtube, but aint got time to find it at the moment.
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I believe that this (>_
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Sorry, I am having the same issue as Pluto…
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>_
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@ Bookem
Yer I saw it. The scary bit was the whole “If you die its cos god wants you to die cos he hates you.” I’m assuming they have yet to consider how their kid will feel if they are in a car crash, or even die of old age.
And that’s anther point. They claim that god can make people drink drive and start wars to punish people. But if this was the case he would be the one to make people gay or an atheist (2 groups they hate in particular).
They are in defiance of their own warped logic.
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Odd huh?
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@ Pluto – Thanks!
I am married to a lovely pirate of my own who does the plundering these days, but it is always nice to have an offer :D
We have 2 kittens, and I suspect that eviscerated mouse will very shortly be on the menu!
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No probs Booty
This ones for you (taken from the urban Dictionary)
Booty
1. Pirate treasure, plunder or other ill-gotten gains
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2. Butt, ass, specifically female posterior
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3. sex, screwing
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I take it they all apply?
Apparently dismembered body parts are a sign of affection to cats. Why not a bunch of flowers or tea in bed. She dose cleans my hair for me too, which is kind of weird.
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Oh – perfect – Yes, that’s me :)
Yes, at the moment our kittens seem to think that gouging chunks of flesh out of you is a sign of affection – I look like I have been dragged through a bramble hedge backwards!
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BTW I didn’t know about the sex one!
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I like her. I think she has a jazzy style that I can really tap my toes to while reading. (Not now, Senator Craig, come back later). I just wish I could be so fresh, Fresh, FRESH! with my writing style. She is an inspiration to me…she lights up my life like a penlight in a blizzard.
Makes me want to start sending Bobby fake hate-mail…just so the level of discourse between the haters and us could raise a few dozen IQ points.
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@booty-Yer, I only found out this year. A cuz of mine from the US used the term ‘booty call’ with reference to calling up her fuck buddy.
Got a good cat story.
When I was a boy my mum got married to a total tool.
Well my ex-step father was having a piss one day when our old cat, a ginger tom, came strolling in. Now, evidently, he thought he was looking at a new cat tool because the next thing he did was jump up on the seat and take a big chunk out of his new “scratching post”.
It proved to me that cats can sense evil.
@Rob- Perhaps we should write to them and just criticize their spelling. Nothing about god or religion, just where they go wrong educationally.
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Isn’t it interesting how many nuts are out there telling people out of one side of their mouths how much god loves us. Then (usually in the same sentence) and out of the other side of their mouths, they tell us how god hates us and will be sending us directly to hell. Don’t they see the contradiction in that?
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Do they know what contradiction means?
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Personally I happen to have a ginormous German Shepherd, interestingly enough she loves cats. We call them Lolly Cats, because when she manages to get one that will tolerate her being around, she licks them until they end up with heads that are soaking wet from dog spit.
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Sounds like she loves the taste but does not like what it does to her weight.
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@Iron Bess
That is a lovely image. Two of my pups love cats (and bunnies too), while the third find out cat to be an excellent toy.
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@IB – The fundies don’t look at it as a contradiction. I think that the fundies are doing false sales. They really mean the gawd loves all his followers and could give a squat about every one else. Screw the christian gawd.
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The last time a fundie stopped me to make his pitch I asked him one question. What if the muslims are right? He was speachless. I commented on the strength of his faith as I walked away.
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Does Jingles’ Fuckwit Finder have anything for using more lines then neccessary? Or is this a really bad poem?
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I’m gonna try a fundie hate-haiku, if it’s even possible.
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Your God is a Fake
You are all going to Hell
Screw the FSM
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That sounds like a good fundie hate-haiku
~
On a related note, to quote Phil Plait (the Bad Astronomer)
I don’t believe in anything, especially rock solid facts. I know evolution is real. Belief is for things without evidence.
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I don’t about the fuckwit finder, but surely there’s something about excessive use of punctuation.
What do six question marks mean?
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“but whats the deal with fsm??????
pretty weird??……” Says you. I think it makes a lot more sense than most major religions!
‘
“i mean
its not right!!!!” Why not? Ok, we might not have started wars and bullied people into our way of thinking but do really have to do that to make our religion the “right one”?
“and FSM is NOT REAL!!!!!!” Prove it! Prove that God IS real and the FSM isn’t…..
‘
“can you just stop making up crazy things!!!!” Why? Thats what religion does best!
“whats your motive????
getting everyones attention???
creating money???
god hater???” No. How can you hate god when you don’t believe in him/her/it? Why do you hate the FSM is you don’t believe in HIM. Or are you worried we might be right and you are wrong?
‘
“your making the world even more havoc than usual!!!”
By adding a little humour and happiness? Most of the wars and persecution are done in the name of Allah or God. Can’t think of any wars started in the name of FSM
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Evangelicals and fundamentalists don’t really know their Bible as well as they think they do. Oh, they may read it a lot. As if it were an interesting book and not some seven hundred page snoozer. But it seems most of what they say comes out of their own mind with a few verses tacked on to justify their own thoughts and prejudices. Either that, or they just repeat what they hear about the Bible from the pulpit every Sunday. But, I must admit there are a handful of ok ones. I’ve known one or two. It’s a rare find, like a sighting of the holy FSM you may only be blessed with it once in your lifetime. Seriously, stop letting your cat step all over your keyboard, it’s typing out a bunch of ignorance and seems to like the ! and ? keys.
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“plus your spaghetti monster looks like a snail………..”
How dare you! Your so called “god” looks like one of ZZ Top’s Grandpa’s!
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Maybe you can’t get taken seriously as a major world religion until you’ve caused the deaths of a few million innocent people.
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Perhaps that’s where we’re going wrong. It’s some sort of rite of passage in to the big club!
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Well the good news is that at least they had the common courtesy to include ♥s at the end of the hate-mail.
RAmen
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Booty said:
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You are to me Booty. You are to me.
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Not a shower of gold – that sounds icky. But a couple of lovely piles of good, certainly.
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We are pirates, whole scale war is not our thing. Skirmishes, yes, but big organized war, no. Besides, if we are at war, who is going to battle the ninjas?
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I loved the zz top grandpa’s comment
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@OEW- Pirates and ninjas shouldn’t fight!
They should form a gang of spooky ninja ghost pirates! Then they could haunt all the churches and scare away those meddling Christens and their dumb god, a-la Scooby-Do!
That would make Jesus Scrappy-Do and Ted Haggard can be Fred as they are both total closet cases (it takes a man vey confident in his sexuality to pull off a pink neck scarf/tight jean combo).
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Pluto – check out the Gospel, all will be explained regarding hari krishna’s and ninjas
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The alternating hearts and squish-eye smilies make me wonder. Does C. H. have a love/hate relationship with Bobby?
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@ OEW – “The last time a fundie stopped me to make his pitch I asked him one question. What if the muslims are right? He was speachless. I commented on the strength of his faith as I walked away.” Fantastic! I love it! RAmen to you for that one…
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Fuck that! I want my spooky ninja ghost pirates and I want them now!
DON’T FORCE ME TO WRITE IN CAP’S TO GET MY POINT ACROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!?!
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The way that was written looks poetic in a dadaist sorta way.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Situationalism
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“anyways stop making up these stories and get real!!!!”
Heh. Heheh. Funny.
Seriously now. I don’t understand the format of this letter. Every fifth word starts a new line.
wtf, please?
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This is why cousins should not marry.
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@Commodore Angryy Oct 4th, 2007 at 5:42 am
Wench Nikkiee
“So yeah, i think i can tell it is a she. ( i have done self study on pschological profiling).”
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Well now that you point it all out …I’d say good call.
Very impressive Angryy :)
RAmen
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@Pluto Oct 4th, 2007 at 8:57 am
“Perhaps we should write to them and just criticize their spelling. Nothing about god or religion, just where they go wrong educationally.”
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Don’t ya know that all that buybull teaching doesn’t leave no time for leaning those useless three R’s. I mean who needs grammar in *heaven*? Right?
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