Im not writing this to criticze you, Im here to warn you, PLEAE DO NOT MOCK MY GOD. I have read some of the content that you have posted and to the simple minded and none believers you make a few key points. However, to believers like myself I can only ask for forgiveness on your behalf because you don’t know what your doing and I pray for your enlightenment. After running across a conversation with a co-worker I decided to visit your website, and I was immediately saddened. I just want you know that Im not successful by chance, I was supposed to be dead along time ago, sleeping in my grave, but my father heard this Sinner’s Prayer and by faith I am here today, faith in my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. Although, I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do, NO ONE can tell me he does not exist. Thru personal experiences that I couldn’t have made out of by myself, I was the victor. Im not sure if your doing this for kicks or what, to each its own. Whether this is just a publicity stunt, true belief, or what have you, I just want you to know that My father lives and in his house are many mansions…….May God Bless you and Keep you……..
They are worthless, a work of mockery; In the time of their punishment they will perish. Jeremiah 51:18
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~MS. KESHA~
Ft. Myers, FL
“Although, I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me…”
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You must be thinking of air.
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Do you mean “take heed”?
Obviously you don’t. Nobody would leave such a massive mistake on an E-mail that they know will be taking heavy criticism. So you must have meant for me to “take head”, leaving me with two alternatives…
1: It’s some kind of offer (in which case I sincerely hope that “MS.” is a typo and you meant “Ms.” with a lower case “s”, thus making you female).
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2: It has something to do with the day of judgment (no “e”) and you are giving me advise on what to do in the stripper factory. Sadly, I am a bit too young to have a great likelihood of going there soon (unless I anger a wench a bit too close to a frying pan…).
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Either way, my response is a polite “no thanks” because I don’t want to drive for about 30 hours (first case) and I don’t think fundies really know the best way to approach strippers (admittedly some know how to approach small boys, but that’s not relevant here).
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Eh, the whole time I believed in that tripe my grandmothers fed me, my ass got raped regularly. When I finally said enough of this shite, said f@ck Jesus, and tried to kill myself, I couldn’t, and believe me, I REALLY should have succeeded. If that’s the god you’re referring to, you can keep him. He never did me any favors. The whole “he works in mysterious ways crap don’t cut it when those mysterious ways include a 4 year old getting raped. And may your god keep you and keep his filthy hands off me, thanks
Yarrrr!
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Fourth post! A record for me.
RAmen.
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The original hatemail is the usual gobshite.
Open your mind oh deluded one. Please read Dawkins, Hitchens et al and then come back with a rational argument.
There is as much evidence for the FSM as there is for any other god that man has created. Don’t get me started on your beloved Jesus. I gave a long response to another deluded one on the historical existence of Jesus (or not as the case may be) and quite frankly I can’t be arsed giving it again.
RAmen
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Wow, Bronze!!!
Something good coming from a crappy migraine day! Thanks, fundie! I find it amusing about the whole shepherd and his flock theme running throughout christianity, since sheep are pretty much helpless. I have not felt helpless a single day of my life since I decided to rinse all those suds out of my brain and think for myself, search around, and find my ture religious path. Many who post here adamantly have no religious path, and that’s cool too, but at least they gave it a split second’s thought instead of sticking out their brains like a baby bird’s beak when momma comes by and swallowing whole any slimy thing she happens to pull out of the dirt.
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So, since you seem to wish to chum our waters so fervently, I have a gauntlet to lay before you. I dare you to actually think for yourself! Ask yourself why you believe what you do. Is it really your choice, or did someone in your family shove you into a class on Sundays when you were too young to defend your mind with logic and reason? If so, please, for five minutes, honestly use it now, I dare you!
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RAmen!
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@Wench Cyka
Like the post. Unfortunately the whole basis of relgious belief is not to think but to believe what one is told, even if it involves ludicrous propositions. We can only live in hope that the mind can be opened.
RAmen.
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“So, since you seem to wish to chum our waters so fervently, I have a gauntlet to lay before you. I dare you to actually think for yourself!”
I tried to insert this into a xian, but it gave a message: error, thinking not included with christianity.
““Although, I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me…”
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You must be thinking of air.”
brilliant, I love it.
ohh and 1 thing
“I just want you to know that My father lives and in his house are many mansions”
does this mean that your dad has more then 1 house, or that there’s a house inside his house??? Ohh and if you’re dad’s stupid enough to put mansions in his house, well I can see why you are so stupid.
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@ Ms. Kesha – I ususally don’t worry about grammar and writing but I need to point out that the abbreviation of “I am” is I’m not Im. Also, “you are” is abbreviated as “you’re” not your.
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I’m not writing this to criticize you; I’m here to warn you, PLEASE DO NOT MOCK THE FSM. I have read the content that you have posted on this site and you make a few dopey points. However, to believers like myself I can only ask for you to reconsider your fantasy. After reading your post, I was immediately saddened. I just want you know that I’m not successful by chance, I studied and learned fact from fantasy. Although, I have never seen the FSM, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do; NO ONE can tell me he does not exist. I’m not sure if you posted your message for kicks or out of malice. I just want you to know that I do not share your fantasy. May you be touched by the Noodle.
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It is not your little God who is responsible for your good fortune, and it is not him that you feel….that is the FSM. You acknowledge his presence, you feel his influence on your life, yet you fervently deny him. You accredit false gods for the work of his Celestial Noodly appendage, and that is nothing but a grave insult to the loving, and True Creator of all we know. He so lovingly attempts to caress you, and bathe you in his glorious sauce, and you say that it is not He who you feel in your heart!
Shame on you! Shame! You are fortunate that the Glorious FSM loves people, regardless of what they think of him…(unlike certain other, less reputable deities of other religions….)
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Are you sure that’s not noodly appendages you feel all around you? Seriously, feel that again. If it’s big, round, and noodly, that’s the FSM.
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@ihatemyspace
“it’s big, round, and noodly”
So much innuendo, so little time!
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@MS. KESHA (all caps)
“Although, I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do, NO ONE can tell me he does not exist.”
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He does not exist.
Oops, I just proved you wrong, my bad.
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I need no forgiveness from you or any fundie: my lack of gullibility vis-a-vis your silly superstitions is no transgression, against you or against your imaginary friend.
Religious zeal is the antithesis of enlightenment. The day I became enlightened was the day I started questioning the validity of what the Catholic Church was teaching me.
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“They are worthless, a work of mockery; In the time of their punishment they will perish. Jeremiah 51:18″
This Jeremiah chappy was a bit of a misery guts wasn’t he? Talk about being the life and soul of the party!
You say “NO ONE can tell me he does not exist” Very true. Just as you cannot tell us the FSM does not exist.
You have every right to your belief, as we have the right to ours. I am sincerly glad you get something out of Christianity.
You say “My father lives and in his house are many mansions” Really? But I bet the heating bill costs a bit. I’ve got a mate who does roof and loft insulations. I can get you his number if you like?
‘
To be honest if your god is as all powerful, all knowing, and created everything. Surely he has a sense of humour?
I know the FSM does. Why else would he have created Carry On films?
‘
Ramen
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“I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do”
Have you thought about taking out a restraining order?
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Wowsers. Speaking of mockery, Ms. Kesha: You are one of the finest examples of why its just too damn easy to make fun of your belief system, such as it is, and why I think Bob came up with the Church of The FSM in the first place. Well, that and that whole responding to the creationists bit. And because you went through a rough patch and yet refuse to take responsibility for making it out the other side isn’t porof of god. It is proof that you are stronger than you think you are. You just don’t want the burden of that responsibility.
And just FYI fundie, I can think of no greater offense than some loon like you asking your version of Santa Claus for forgiveness on my behalf. So I counter with my own:
May the noodle of enlightenment one day bless you and keep you, and may your pasta always be fresh and starch-free.
Ramen.
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Why are you happy that you lived? If you truly believed in your God, wouldn’t you want to die so you could join him in Heaven? I guess not, seeing as your Heaven has no beer volcanoes or stripper factories. Anyway, I pray to his Noodliness for YOUR forgiveness. May you be touched by His noodly appendage, and may He teach you to spell.
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RAmen.
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Take head? Sure! Everybody loves head!
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@ Ms Kesha – They are worthless, a work of mockery; In the time of their punishment they will perish. Jeremiah 51:18
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Why is it that you xians feel obligated to go around preaching all that ‘forgive them lord’ crap and then threaten people? Why are you so insecure about your faith? Why is it such a threat to your religion that others do not believe what you believe that you have to threaten them with ‘punishment and death’?
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Could it be because you are a little miffed that you are buying into the hocus-pocus crap and are upset that not everyone does and you don’t want to look like a knob?
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Unlike OEW, I am here to critize you. Have a look around you and see that you are surrounded by people, trees, buildings, hills, wind, grass, cars, animals…not invisible sky fairies. People get cured everyday and not by any god(s). Maybe next time you break your arm or leg you should give god a week to heal you and if he doesn’t try a doctor. Then compare who did the better job.
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“I pray for your Enlightenment”
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Without getting into your strange ideas about enlightenment, let’s assume all of the following to be true.
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1. This God dude of yours exist.
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2. He can hear your prayers.
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3. He cares about what you have to say.
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4. He decides to act appon it.
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5. He has the ability to come out of the sky, or whatever, enter my brain, violate it by rearranging my axions and synapses and such so that my beliefs are more agreeable to you.
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Hopefully at least one of those things is wrong because I realy do not want this to happen. I’m not to worried.
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Alright, this just tears it!
You, my good sir, are a product of religious propaganda. First off this website is here as a community, it’s for those of whom who feel that every single other religion is corrupt, but still have a shred of hope that there possibly is a God, even if he is a flying spaghetti monster (or at least it is for me). Secondly I have no idea what ailment almost put u in ur grave, but I’ve had a similar experience, and what I can tell u is that science, and perhaps only science, was what saved me. Thirdly, it’s been the brink of judgment day for thousands of years. btw we’re not mocking ur God, we’re only pointing out the idiotcy of people who follow every letter of a bible, a book which I may point out, was made 2000 years ago, and was based on many superstitions before science could explain anything. Therefore ur religion might not be wrong, but the old perception of it most probably was.
The always ranting,
Logan
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“Im not writing this to criticze you, Im here to warn you”
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Funny (sometimes) and sad (at those same times actually) how fundies play with words and language. I’m not talking about spelling, grammar and syntax mistakes (plenty of them, mostly), but about the way they use the meaning of words. Could they have a damaged semantic brain cell sitting next to the brain cell they use in daily life? Whatever they say, or whatever you reply, they turn words inside out (and outside in again if necessary), always turning the conversation in a direction that suits them. Plenty of examples of that here:
http://www.inthepursuitofgod.com/forum/miscellaneous-topics/6409-creation-museum-3.html#post85905
A damaged brain cell, I tell you…
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@All Wenches & Pirates
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Dawkins invades xian fundie forum:
http://www.inthepursuitofgod.com/forum/miscellaneous-topics/6425-god-delusion.html#post85898
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I only pray that the OP will see the noodly light :-D
Heh, I need not forgiveness, for I have done nothing wrong. By some religious standart everybody on the world has done something wrong, so I’ll ignore that part of the list that says “Thou shalt not enjoyeth sexeth, for thousht will goest to hellest”.
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I am not sure this one is real. The take head line is just too obvious to be unintentional.
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You’re perfectly entitled to your own opinion.
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Fortunately for the rest of the world, so are we. MAY HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE TOUCH YOU BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
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RAmen.
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Take head? Whose?
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@Dutch Pasta Guy (and other interested Pastas :)
Have you seen this blog for the movie: Expelled: No Intelligence allowed. (Ben Stein)
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http://expelledthemovie.com/blog/2007/08/21/bens-blog/.
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There are a lot of them and I haven’t read through all the replies yet.
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Flicking through the replies there I see a lot of posts containing links to the Talk Origins website(:))
Good stuff! :))))
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Hi Nikkiee,
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Time for me to get some sleep almost. But we are on the same day now :)
I had seen that movie earlier, in a piece where Dawkins writes he was invited to be interviewed for it, not knowing they were creationists. I don’t know if Dawkins said much unsound, but it seems they managed to trip him up a bit.
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You really should take a look at the movie blog site DPG….makes the BBC seem tame :(
Lots of quite serious commentators from both sides posting there. Quite a few familiar poster’s names too.
1711 comments so far….. I’ve only just started reading through them.
Lots of heat and I think it’s going to run for some time to come.
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And thanks to Lilith for initially posting the movie blog link.
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Hm… by co-worker do you mean Kindergarten classmate, because last I checked most of us can reed and rite reel gud n such. I really do hope you find your way to His Noodliness, because if you don’t I’m afraid you’ll be drinking stale beer for all of eternity, and let’s not get started on the strippers…
RAmen
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‘your’ is the possessive form of the pronoun ‘you’. Jesus hasn’t helped you much with grammar, has he? The correct contraction for ‘you are’ is ‘you’re’.
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God and Jesus clearly haven’t helped you in your English lessons. I suggest you turn to the FSM for guidance in education. As the Warranty states, if you’re dissatisfied, your old religion will probably take you back.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Unlimited Warrantys
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One time in philosophy class, we happened to touch upon the subject of atheism. We were informed by the teacher that apparently atheists are mildy persecuted in the states(I live in Canada), and I have come to realize that that is true, even in Canada. It is easier for someone to say “I am a Christian than I am an Atheist.” Hell, nobody minds other religions, but everyone has a bone to pick with lack of spirituality…
I find that while atheists criticize religion in a polite and analytical way (for the most part), religious people are horribly slanderous about athiests. My own Christian friends try to stick thorns in athiests, though they do not succeed. Alas is the world we live in…
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@St John
“Saint of Unlimited Warrantys”
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The irony is killing me!
RAmen
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@Pete
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I, er, um, meant to do that. Yeah… heh.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Unlimited Warranties On Unlimited Warrantys
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So much to say, so little attention span.
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“I’m not writing this to criticize you, I’m here to warn you: please do not mock my god.”
-In the very content of this letter , you are mocking ours. Why not return the favor? When Jeebus said to turn the other cheek, he was talking about you, not the people you are talking to.
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“I have read some of the content that you have posted, and to the simple minded and nonbelievers you make a few key points. However, to believers like myself I can only ask for forgiveness on your behalf because you don’t know what your doing and I pray for your enlightenment.”
-I’m grateful for your concern for our enlightenment, and I guess your prayers reached the FSM. I used to pray(passively) to the horribly illogical Christian god, but then I was enlightened and found his Holy Noodlyness. Why would you bother to pray for our forgiveness, when all evidence shows that prayers to your sky daddy fall on deaf ears?
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“After running across a conversation with a co-worker I decided to visit your website, and I was immediately saddened.”
-Could you be a bit more specific? Were you saddened that you had lived in ignorance of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Saddened that fundies don’t want to give equal opportunity to our theory? We simple minded nonbelievers can’t understand such subtlety.
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“I just want you know that I’m not successful by chance, I was supposed to be dead along time ago, sleeping in my grave, but my father heard this Sinner’s Prayer and by faith I am here today, faith in my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ.”
-You’re successful? Are the only two states success and death? What do you mean when you say you should have been dead? You are leaving out several vital details. Assuming you went through some illness: did you ever consider that maybe it was medical technology, and not faith, which kept you from dying?
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“Although, I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do,”
-As I feel the FSM; maybe you are merely confusing our Noodly Lord with some stange bearded man in the clouds suffering through an identity crisis.
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“NO ONE can tell me he does not exist.”
-He doesn’t exist. There, I said it. You can’t tell me what I can and can’t tell you.
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“Through personal experiences that I couldn’t have made out of by myself, I was the victor.”
-Or maybe faith just instilled a placebo effect, giving you more fortitude than you thought you had. Or you’re just exaggerating.
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“I’m not sure if your doing this for kicks or what, to each its own.”
-We’re merely informing the world of our beliefs, which are just as valid as yours , if not more so.
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“Whether this is just a publicity stunt, true belief, or what have you, I just want you to know that My father lives and in his house are many mansions…….May God Bless you and Keep you……..”
-Sure… you’re not the first one online to say that you have a rich dad.
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“They are worthless, a work of mockery; In the time of their punishment they will perish. Jeremiah 51:18″
-Who’s to say that your religion isn’t a mockery of ours?
–
“~MS. KESHA~
Ft. Myers, FL”
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Crap, I thought there were relatively few of you guys here.
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That should cover most of it.
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Gotta love the fundies. Why do they try to be threatening if someone has the audacity to ‘MOCK THEIR GOD’? Do they beleive their god is so sensitive he can’t take a bit of criticism? What sort of a god makes average people become so aggro? Why assume we don’t understand what we are doing? Because they have closed their minds to any other possible explanation for what they blindly beleive. Thank god (that’s mine, not yours) the FSM is more passionate and caring of his followers. He doesn’t care if you worship other gods, he couldn’t give a toss if you go to church, he’s certainly not gonna tell you to go into a little dark room and tell some weirdo in a dress everything you’ve done wrong lately.
As we move thru the ages religions come and go… as we understand more about the universe we realise we don’t have to be submissive to a sun god or a moon god or to a jealous and controlling god like the one the xians and muslims are so fanatical about. We realise that someday we’ll understand the truth about HOW we got here and maybe there just isn’t a WHY. Maybe one day we might learn that the FSM wasn’t there in the beginning, but until we know for sure who can say what really happened. Certainly not a bunch of strangoids writing a book for their own misguided reasons (the bible). In the mean time why not just be happy being? Praise be to monster!
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Jean Bart
Oct 1st, 2007 at 2:34 pm
@All Wenches & Pirates
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Dawkins invades xian fundie forum:
http://www.inthepursuitofgod.com/forum/miscellaneous-topics/6425-god-delusion.html#post85898
*
Wow, nice work :P
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From that title, I was hoping the strippers were coming for the big dinner in the sky :(
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Damn fundies getting my hopes up…
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‘lo all, by the way. How goes the good fight?
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@Jean Bart Oct 1st, 2007 at 2:34 pm
“Dawkins invades xian fundie forum:
http://www.inthepursuitofgod.com/forum/miscellaneous-topics/6425-god-delusion.html#post85898
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Red Dutch said it.
Hehehehehehe…
RAmen
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Hi Jingles :))
Seems to be a few of them out and about again. Maybe a seasonal thing? Could be a birthday coming up or something. Maybe they’re out celebrating a new book or a movie :p
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Noodle Nut: Considering what their god has done he should be prepared for some criticism.
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Funny thing: The reaction of a fundie to some scientific evidence pointing to the fact that there’s no god/the bible is wrong is usually that “God’s just testing our faith by planting false evidence!”. Funny thing is that a few thousand years ago he had no problem killing all the firstborn, later, after changing his mind apparently, he did another presentation, and then again after another change of mind, he done it again!
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I’d suggest that asking for forgiveness on *my* behalf might get you Told Off.
Just a thought.
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Really not one to quibble, but in my case it should be “give head”.
And I will, I promise!
Oh, such a laugh these fundies – throw a frying pan at them Lilith – you’re nearest!
Hi everyone – nice to see you joining in again Jingles :)
And always nice to see Pixel, defender of the wenches.
And St John of course :D
got to go rescue my dinner…pasta of course!
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Interesting that once again some cunt wants to change people’s minds without even attempting to make a logical argument. Instead they just repeat the same old quotes and expect us to believe them because they say so.
You were in a life threatening position and God saw you through it? I take it no-one else helped you at all? No doctors and none of your family? I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t turn out for you, if you were my kid I’d disown you for being an idiot. Plus that big house of your dads must keep him awfully busy.
You’re not successful by chance? No nether am I, but my achievements are my own, not gods. If he dose exist and helps people achieve success, isn’t that a bit of a cheat to those that actually try. You have told us that nothing you have done can be credited to you, so you’re like a spoilt rich kid who works for his dads company and therefore can never be fired no matter how shit you are?
And considering all you have to say, you are shit. You offer no proof and your examples are inadequate at best.
When you can use reasoning and logic you can come back for another go. But of course if you were capable of that you wouldn’t be posting hate mail, you’d be taking the piss with the rest of us.
(Anyone who’s read any of my posts will know how I feel about religion in general so I’ll just close by saying…)
Fuck you species traitor!!
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PS Booty? Where dose the Q start?
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Hahaha!
Not sure today is a good day, Pluto!
I have a virus :(
Would you take a rain check?
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Booty – are you tellin Pluto to check his head?
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Booo!
The only swelling in your mouth and it’s an infection!A sad day for us all.
Did you get too enthusiastic about helping the hate-mailer with his holy task?
And I’m afraid I only take cash! No checks!
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Christians are so funny. It gave me a good laugh.
Im not writing this to criticze you, Im here to warn you, PLEAE DO NOT MOCK MY GOD. I have read some of the content that you have posted and to the simple minded and none believers you make a few key points.
Who says we are?
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It is always a good idea to check your head, OEW, or get someone else to check it for you!
@Pluto – I am so ashamed :( And I have to tell you I have never yet had to pay for it!
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everybody wants to worship a self worshiping god that “loves” everybody yet he judges everybody, he gives “free will” yet everything you do is what god planned.
people don’t believe in god, they are afraid of him, they pretend to “love” him so god will send them to heaven and won’t punish them…
the worst of them pretend to be his soldiers…
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Not me Guy Ohayon – I worship Pasta! :D
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that’s why i’m a pastafarian too!
my god doesn’t scare me or threats me to do anything…
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:D
Now where did I leave that barrel of rum?……
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@ Guy: You mean like an overbearing parent? Possibly one with a big house?
@ Booty: All I can say is you get what you pay for!
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Oh and rum is not an anti-viral
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Jeebus died for our sins, right. So what I think is we should go out and sin, because we wouldn’t want him to have died in vain.
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@Pluto – little bit pernicious this morning are we? You may consider chilling out a tad…after all, we are one big happy and disfunctional family here.
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Iron Bess- It’s not morning where I am. It’s 3:30 in the afternoon and I’m pretending I’m doing work. My boss hears the keyboard going and thinks I’m such a good little boy, even though I’ve done less than Jack today. I think things have been going backwards since I started at 9. Sorry if what I say is perceived as a little malign, that’s just who I am.
And yes we should make the most of his sacrifice. When I die I want everyone I know to have an almighty piss up, and I’m sure anyone who make his own wine would agree.
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Rum is certainly an anaesthetic though – I feel loads better already!
Are you in the UK too, then Pluto?
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@Pluto – Yikes! That is one of my petpeeves. That is not ‘just who you are’, that my friend, is ‘just who you choose to be’. When people say that, it kind of drives me crazy. It’s like saying, “I have no control over what I do or say.” So they use that excuse to be either the biggest dick on the planet or the biggest pansy-ass suck hole or somewhere in between.
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I’m okay with, I feel like crap today. Or, I’m such an asshole today. Or, I’m crabby and hate all fundies. But it puts my teeth on edge whenever anyone says, “that’s just who I am.”
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So type away, lambaste idiotic, non thinking, brain washed fundies all you want. But do it because they are contented with being led around like sheep and too lazy to actually do any real thinking for themselves. But for FSM’s sake, not because that is just who you are.
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(PS) I know what you mean about going backward. I have been working on one contract since six thirty this morning and keep having to go back to the beginning and add more legaleese. And the most frustrating thing of all is that it is a piddly assed little contract worth just under a half million and I still have a gigantic one just sitting there staring at me and giving me the heebie-jeebies.
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Yer, live an work in Pompy. I do have an American Dad though, same for most of my siblings. They try to take the piss cos I don’t talk proper like what they do. If the rums not doing the trick try some Kronenburg 1664. It’s the only thing other than surrendering the French do well, and it’s a dam fine anti-depressant.
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I apologize in advance, so please don’t flame me! I know this is OT, but I can’t find anywhere to get help for this. I’m new here and I tried to register yesterday for the FSM bb. I never got the email to confirm my registration. Is it normal for it to take this long? I’m sorry for asking this here, but the only other help I found was that I should contact an administrator, but it won’t let me do that if I’m not already a registered member! I’m so frustrated, and I hope that you more experienced Pastafarians can help me out! Thanks!
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Bess- I choose to be who I am, and I am what I am. I could never choose to be anyone else unless I was faking it. And that’s just not who I am!
Dose that make a bit more sense.
I will ALLWAYS hate religion, fundamental or not.
That’s why I use the term species traitor. Because that’s what they do, they drag us further back, they wage war, they spread needless hate, they justify doing evil in the name of good and of god.
You can argue that the fanatics are the minority, but it’s a believing majority that gives them a place to hide, that makes their actions seem more acceptable in their own eyes as well as encourage those on the margins to come into the extremist fold.
Humans have achieved so much, and to see those achievements ignored, ridiculed or laid at the feet of a hateful and, according to scripture it self, evil god.
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@ Merlin
If you think atheists are persecuted, try laying down the pagan / witchcraft gaulnlet! ohohoh! you get some rich responses there! Sometimes, counting teeth, I just say polytheist, and they say wassat? and I reply you wouldn’t understand, to keep the conversation short. That’s the easiest one. Then there’s the witchcraft huh? then prove to me it’s real! arms crossed. you dumbass, just because I believe in something does not require me to enlighten your pond-scum cross-bred gene-pool arse. My absolute favorite is the type we see here a lot, but at least we can turn off our comps! While I wore a uniform, sometimes I did not even have a door I could slam in their glassy eyed faces as they continually mumble verses from their continually revised little book. I also love minding my own damn business grocery shopping, hearing is that a star of David? No, it isn’t. I try to keep walking… bluster bluh bluh.
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By the way, will the FSM make giving head not leave your jaw sore at the end? I mean, it’s fun and all, and hey, I’ve been told I’m great at it, but the TMJ at the end is just no fun, specially if ya do it long enough ta lose yer buzz!!! (ok, so maybe that’s every guy’s dream… but it’s kinda hard to logistically drink and give head at the same time, heh)
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Wench Cyka – Have you considered using a drip with vodka in it? Leaves hands and head free! Just a thought.
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@perkyblue – I don’t know – I don’t post on the forum – sorry – hang around and keep asking though :)
good point Cyka – I hate that too – do you get an itchy nose as well? What is *that* all about?? ;)
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Well, If you’re good enough, you can usually free up one hand without them noitcing too much, therefore scratching the nose is no biggie. Usually if you can manage a pose that leaves them something to play with while you’re at it, well… you get the idea!
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@Pluto – totally agree with you on all fronts. ALL religion is crap, evil and just a bunch of hooey. It is dragging down mankind and may even possibly be the end of everyone. Religion nuts, moderates or total wack-job fundies are typically two faced, spreading love and peace and harmony to all…unless you don’t believe what they believe. Then look out! Fear, hatred, malice, xenophobia, murder, torture and all kinds of other fun things are in store for the unwary.
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In my world god is not evil, people are evil, because god does not exist.
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Good one!
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Eh, in my world, people have more say in things than they really think they do. Remember, most people only use about 10% of their brains, and that’s even the best of us. To me, all the gods I deal with are a part of that greater untapped source, to be dealt with, bargained with, but not worshipped. I do believe in an ultimate deity, and hell, the FSM fits the bill nicely, but as I see it, any deity busy enough to go off creating universes and galaxies and bacteria and such is waaaay to damn busy to worry about what I had for dinner on a particular day of the week, whether I had a ceremony before I had sex, or even whether or not I was a good person. I do believe in an afterlife, and even reincarnation, but I believe that if anyone’s going to judge me and decide my fate, it’ll be me. After all, who’s your truly worst and most honest critic, deep down? That’s what has me laughing myself to death. The thought that what if I’m the one who’s right? Can you imagine all those good little christians who were total dicks to everyone else in the world in the name of jebus, then find out he didn’t forgive them for it, now they have to face their own conscience for what they did all their lives?? I think that’s why they’re so rabid about websites like this one!
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@Wench Cyka – You should see the looks on the faces when a guy is a witch. I try to keep it to myself, even here. The arguments over proof that gods or “supernatural” energies exsist get old. Until I use witch craft to get them laid, they will think it is not real.
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I find that I muff dive better when I am sober. I agree that after a good session the jaw and tongue are pretty sore. What can I say, I am a vagitarian.
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Oh, honey, where were you before I had kids?!?
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Exactly Bess. The problem is, as you touched on earlier, it can start to bring out the worst in non-believers like me. When I was a boy (of about 10) I concluded on my own that the whole thing was a load of crap. I saw the damage it had done throughout history and concluded its practice was mostly evil via the actions of those who follow. There are same truly nasty thing in the bible that the believers consider to be examples of how to live a good life.
They would look at me and see me as evil because I question everything and, in particular, I question them directly (I’ve been called all sorts of things once they hit their own logical wall and, predictably, get angry).
As time went on I saw that the evil was still going on, It was just more insidius. This planted the seed of hate which became a burning rage.
Those who know me know me to be someone who try’s to do the right thing. I might not always get it right, but I still try. To me that’s what being a good human is about.
I get so into the subject I have been labelled an “Atheist Fundamentalist” a title I now wear with honour.
A friend of mine was convinced that we were put here by aliens. I kept asking him; Why? How? I wanted to know his reasoning, not to just prove him wrong. He just said it made sense. Same 2 questions over and over. Anyway he would get frustrated at me cos he had no answer, and would question me on things I know, then go on Wikipedia to try and prove me wrong. This would always fail of cores, so I just told him he was a Scientologist. After he looked that one up he spent 2 weeks in bed with server depression. I love my friends, but would happily do it again because it makes them think and question. And in the end that’s the only way we get anywhere.
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@Wench Cyka – I was out working on my techniques. Kids are not an issue, is there a husband to go with the kids?
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Whenever I hear someone is planning to pray for me I activate my Jesus Shield ™. If they want to use their tricolored pasta magic on me, I encase myself in an invisible teflon coated bubble. Their prayer arrows bounce right off. I don’t take too kindly to deities whom I am not intimate with invading my personal space.
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? where did the witch-orall sex bit come from?
Hmmm…Just had a good idea for a porn-o.
If you 2 are witches then you must have seen it work, yes?
So I’ll not ask the normal how an why, but insteed ask when and what?
When did you get, how can I put it, the experiance that made up your mind and what was it?
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An ex, but twin little uns at the moment, so I am one busy momma! (3 month old boys!)
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@ OEW you give up on live chat after one check??
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Wench Cyka – I have two daughters (5 and almost 3) and an ex, so I can understand somewhat. I hope that you are getting help from family and friends.
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@Pluto – I’m with you, I’m kinda creeped out about the witch oral sex thing. Can live without it here.
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@WC & OEW – Wench you sound like you are talking about the whole Law of Attraction thing…sort of. I absolutley believe in some of those ideas. Like Carl Sagan said, we are all of us made of star stuff. At the most basic levels everything is energy. I also believe that the mind is a powerful thing, much more so than your average computer or your super computer. We bring into existence what we want in this world, we also bring into existence what we don’t want. But why does it have to be about the witch thing? Isn’t that a bit of a cop out?
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Isn’t it a bit arrogant to throw out thousands of years of research just because they hadn’t developed the modern “scientific method?” Today, “modern” medicine is “discovering” more and more of the old wives’ tales and herbal cures actually – what a shocker! – work! Gee, maybe thousands of years of testing something might have a little bit of merit even if “enlightened” scientific minds didn’t have their noses stuck in it. That’s just as arrogant and closed-minded as the christians (who have the largest witchcraft library in the world: I’d give my left tit for a free pass into the Vatican library!) Now tell me, do you think that every single group of humans that have gathered around a fire would develop some of the same damn things if they didn’t have some spark of merit? I am not saying that every moon-eyed idiot who claims to be a wiccan and stares at the moon receiveing “messages” should be heeded. Hell, I adamantly refuse the title wiccan for the very reason that most of them are so full of shite that the only magic they can perform is to put one foot in front of the other and manage to move forward. I use the term witch because it is universally recognised. I do not claim to know the source of the energies I work with, nor do I care. All I care about is that they work to MY satisfaction, and for those that I am called upon (not by you, nor any other human being) to help. I know when I am called to help someone, I feel it. Sometimes I want to, sometimes I don’t. I put myself out there and claim my craft instead of quietly practicing for the very reason that some of those that I need to help have to come to me.
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If you see it as a cop out to call it witchcraft when that’s what it’s been called since language was invented, so be it, then it’s a cop out to you. When, in about another 5000 years or so, science catches up to it and renames it, I guess I’ll change.
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@Wench Cyka –
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Main Entry: 1witch
Pronunciation: ‘wich
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English wicche, from Old English wicca, masculine, wizard & wicce, feminine, witch; akin to Middle High German wicken to bewitch, Old English wigle divination, and perhaps to Old High German wIh holy — more at VICTIM
1 : one that is credited with usually malignant supernatural powers; especially : a woman practicing usually black witchcraft often with the aid of a devil or familiar : SORCERESS — compare WARLOCK
2 : an ugly old woman : HAG etc.
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This is what you are claiming to be? Based on your last post I would say not.
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So what exactly is it that you do, which makes you call yourself a witch?
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Well said, Wench Cyka.
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@Pluto – I have experienced a number of things that resulted in my belief in the “mystical.” It has allowed me to tap energies that have allowed me to do things like run further and farther than I thought possible in order to help a friend. Yes, martial arts utilizes some of the same techniques that I utilize. As Wench Cyka described, several herbal remedies have been proven to be very effective.
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The world is a big place and there is a lot to learn.
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@IB – who wrote the definitions you provided?
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@IB – I am not wiccan, but for lack of a better term I use witch for myself when describing myself.
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@ OEW I’m betting a xian dictionary writer wrote that def. Certainly has that slant.
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Since there is no thread for contacting Senator Vitter, I thought I would share this here. I sent the following e-mail today.
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“Senator Vitter,
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It is with great interest that I noticed your recent efforts to fund groups motivated to counter the vile theory of evolution. Being the supreme creator of the universe I have been naturally vexed by my creation’s insistence on denying my existence.
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While it is true that I actively work to suppress any physical evidence of my existence and thwart any efforts to divine my nature, that is no excuse for people to deny my obvious work! Do you know how hard it is to create an entire universe? Well, of course you don’t, but let me tell you, it’s down right taxing! (Like the pun? And they say supreme beings have no sense of humor. Ha!)
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So let me get to the point. I am writing this to urge you to make sure that the theory of FSM is included in any efforts to counter the theory of Darweenie-ism (See? Still funny!) with the theory of Intelligent Design. BTW, thank-you for the “intelligent” part. It was rather brilliant, wasn’t it?
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I’m certain you wouldn’t advocate any given creation theory over another. That would be wrong. I simply want to make certain that when these groups press for alternate theories to evilution, they are careful to include all theories. To this end, I encourage you to visit http://www.venganza.org and learn about me and my Intelligent Design story.
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May you be touched by My Noodly Appendage,
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-The Flying Spaghetti Monster
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Disclaimer: No information in this letter constitutes proof of my existence. Should anyone claim that I exist, I will deny it vehemently. However, the THEORY of my existence is just as valid as any other theory. Everything is a theory, so all theories are equal. Don’t allow science to be distracted with silly things like evidence or the lack there of.”
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OEJ, Ship’s Navigator
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Awww, just when this was starting to get interesting…
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Witch! She’s a witch!
She turned me into a newt!
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Hey! you got better!
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*Wabbit stands on street corner with bell and placard stating, “the end is nigh”*
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I saw the thread and immediately clapped my little paws with glee thinking we had an apocalyptic Revelation type fundy turn up…how disappointing…I shall have to take “head” elsewhere…
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*wabbit somberly wanders off ringing bell*
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Morning Thumper :) Eng v Oz soon – think I’ll keep a low profile after that match.
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OEW – when you talk about witchcraft do you mean the philosophy (holistic, natural etc) or the theology behind it?
I’ve little doubt that the witches of *ye olde days* (european) were skilled in herbs and rudimentary medicine (esp – obstetrics).
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I’m sure there is more to life than what we know at present but magic (even the Gardener type of Wicca) is just another name for a miracle.
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One day we’ll understand the mechanisms behind these miracles.
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Alchemist – I tend toward the philosophy, but the theology behind is is obiviously wrapped in it a bit. I think of things a focus points to help me visualize what I am doing.
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What you call it does make a differnce, sort of like invisible friend or god.
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Take HEED, the day of Rotini is near
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I’m not writing this to warn you, I’m here to criticize you, PLEASE DO NOT MOCK MY FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER. I have read some of the content that you have posted and to the simple minded and NON believers you make a few silly points and many spelling and grammatical errors. However, to believers like myself I can only ask for forgiveness on your behalf because you don’t know what YOU ARE doing and I pray for your pasta-salvation. After running across a conversation with a co-worker I decided to visit your comment, and I was immediately saddened. I just want you TO know that I’m not a Pastafarian by chance, I was supposed to be dead along time ago, sleeping in my grave, but my Flying Spaghetti Monster heard this Pirate’s Prayer and by the graceful touch of a noodly appendage I am here today: a noodly appendage of my Creator FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER. Although, I have never seen him, I can feel his noodly touch all around me, in everything I do, NO ONE can tell me he does not exist. THROUGH personal experiences that I couldn’t have made UP by myself, I was the Pirate Captain. I’m not sure if YOU MADE this comment for kicks or what, to each HIS own. Whether this comment is just a publicity stunt, true belief, or what have you, I just want you to know that My Cavatelli Creator lives and in his house are the Stripper Factory and Beer Volcano…… May FSM touch you with his noodly appendage……
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Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Isaiah 5:20
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~Cap’nUberbob~
Earth, 3rd Planet, Sol System, Orion Spur of the Milky Way Galaxy
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RAmen! and YARRRR!
The greatest thing I love about the FSM is that he doesn’t give ya any BS about how he’s the only god in the school yard, dammit, and he’ll take away all your strippers if you even think about thinkin otherwise!
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RAmen!
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O-e W
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Believe me – I’m not having a go at you here – I’m genuinely interested.
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Do you believe in a “Collective Consciousness”? That’s always interested me – Gestalt’s “the whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts” thing.
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Regarding magic – paranormal or psychology?
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I’m sure you know my views on homoeopathy – how does so called *sympathetic magic* differ?
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@One Eyed Jack Oct 2nd, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Good one OEJ (:)) You cement your front row seating position in between the stripper dressing room and beer volcanoe.
RAmen
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I went fishing for some fun at the Topix Vitter thread…..only one little bite :(
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topix.com/metro/baton-rouge-la/2007/09/vitter-earmarks-funds-for-religious-group
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ps need to add the w’s ect. The link wouldn’t post
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@Thumper ™ Oct 2nd, 2007 at 12:39 pm
*wabbit somberly wanders off ringing bell*
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Dingaling! :p)
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@Iron Bess
“Jeebus died for our sins, right. So what I think is we should go out and sin, because we wouldn’t want him to have died in vain.”
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That’s a nice one. Copied into my file with atheist etc quotes. If the opportunity ever arises I may use it on inthepersuitofgod. Maybe in any thread related to christianity and sex, something they really get uptight about. I wonder if I would get banned if I told people that shagging your unmarried (same-sex to make them really nervous) partner was actually making Jesus feel good about not having wasted his life.
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@Pastafarians Down Under
Hello all, nice to see you all around. Others too btw.
Nikkiee, I saw the fast-moving blog on the movie site. Won’t be posting there any time soon though. My itpog addiction is back with a vengeance and I’m on the BBC blog a bit too now and then, taking up enough out of my time. Although pb has said he won’t be debating with me anymore. I asked him once if pb was short for peabrain and then started addressing him like that as standard. So he posted he wouldn’t debate with me anymore. I’ve bookmarked that thread and will remind him of his words the next time he back with his usual AiG crap.
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Awww…he’ll come round DPG. It’s obvious to all that he’s always had a crush on you. ;p
Poor pb….he really is a rather sad, sad case!
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This is a trifling thing, but nobody took it up, so I will: it’s TAKE HEED, not take HEAD. you illiterate! Taking HEAD is what evangelical preachers do when they get a twelve-year-old (girl or boy, it makes no diff) behind their altars…..Or is that what you actually meant, which might suggest some hope….
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@ El Peat: profound apologies. You got there long ago, and, of course, did right!
Thanks!
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Actually, Booty touched on it quite a bit back, then I hit on it after my whole @Merlin thing, and it went straight downhill (or up, depending on your perspective) from there ;)
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Oh, did I miss some innuendo?!? I shall of course make up for it in the only appropriate manner in the afterlife.. hehe
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I myself, take Head every chance I get.
Sorry, Apprentice Frederic.
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@Alchemist – I am glad that you have an interest. I will try to give you my views on your questions. I just want you to know, in my opinion, trying to understand magic is like trying to step on the same piece of river twice. You know it is there but just can’t get it. I don’t know if this will make sense to you or not.
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“Do you believe in a “Collective Consciousness”? That’s always interested me – Gestalt’s “the whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts” thing.”
I do believe that the sum of a group can be more powerful than the individual. The gestalt thing takes a lot of time and trust to make work. I have only participated in a handful of efforts that actually worked. It takes some time to develop the trust.
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“Regarding magic – paranormal or psychology?”
I do not think it is paranormal. With the right training, anyone can do it. Learning your body and not limiting yourself are not easy to learn but can be learned. This is one of the reasons that I like boxing. The will power it takes to just step in the ring let alone get up after someone has knocked you down is amazing. Did you see the Taylor/Pavlik fight last weekend? I thought Pavlik was done after the knock down in the 2nd. He reached inside and got up to knock out Taylor in the 7th. That took will and determination. It is like that for me. I guess there is some psychology to it, but that is what makes people extend beyond what is thought that they can do.
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“I’m sure you know my views on homoeopathy – how does so called *sympathetic magic* differ?”
I have always viewed homoeopathy as use of herbs etc. to heal. I am not real familiar with sympathetic magic. I have never tried to heal someone other than myself. I will need to research into sympathetic magic, sounds interesting.
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If you would like to see a pretty good movie on the philosophy of the self, see “The Circle of Iron.” It was written by Bruce Lee. It is a 70’s movie, so give the effects some slack.
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So where’s this bbc blog everyone’s talking about?
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Curiousity
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Big post… (you think I would have learnt by now)
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Hey Cyka, probably a touch late on this, but you said
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“Isn’t it a bit arrogant to throw out thousands of years of research just because they hadn’t developed the modern “scientific method?” ”
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It may seem that way at times, but please remember, there are also a large number of the ancient remedies that aren’t as good for you as you might think. Several are actually quite dangerous, as (by Australian law at least) alternative medicines do not recquired to be as rigourously tested.
This means there can often be higher levels of toxic compounds (for example, lead) in these medicines than would be healthy for the consumer. A fairly recent exampe of this; in Aus about 4 months ago, there was a bit a furore (sp?) over some traditional Indian herbal supplements, reccomended for pregnant women, that had a dangerously high level of lead, as well as several other substances.
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Today, “modern” medicine is “discovering” more and more of the old wives’ tales and herbal cures actually – what a shocker! – work! Gee, maybe thousands of years of testing something might have a little bit of merit even if “enlightened” scientific minds didn’t have their noses stuck in it.”
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Why shouldn’t we continually test things? If they have any benefit, they will be vindicated, if they are dangerous they will be flagged, and if science cannot find anything, they will still be available, and continually be tested by the latest scientific methods. It’s when we start saying things like, it was good enough for our ancestors, it’s good for us that we get into the very same, horrible trap that many of us fight against on and off these boards.
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That being said, Damiana and chai are a wonderful way to relax, irrespective of their scientific benefit :p
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Thumper ™
Oct 2nd, 2007 at 12:39 pm
*Wabbit stands on street corner with bell and placard stating, “the end is nigh”*
*
It certainly is mu dear little wabbit. Unless you produce evidence that ship’s cat is safe and unharmed…. 8 months and counting :)
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, want some stew too Nikkiee?
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@ Jingles
I have absolutely no problem with continual questioning of absolutely everything, except when it involves me telling my 7 year old son to do something, then I pretty much go bat sh!!. We all have our faults, and lack of patience is one of mine.
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I did not say Go blindly forth, and trust every warty faced old mental woman with a twig-filled mug in her hand to cure you of everything! I said that throwing out all that research done for all those thousands of years was totally, completely RETARDED. and, by the way, enacted by the Christians in the Dark Ages, since most modern thought springs from the Renaissance on, excepting some philosphy, Astrology!, astronomy and such from the Greeks and Romans. Instead, maybe we should think about looking into all that old “mumbo-jumbo” and see if there’s any merit to it. And hey, here’s a thought: test an herbal remedy in its entirety, instead of trying to break it down for one effective ingredient. Maybe the reason the herbal worked so well and didn’t have so many stupid side effects was due to all the other chemicals the plant it came from produced! I know one thing, a whole lot of people get a very upset stomach from aspirin, but can drink willow bark tea all day long without a problem. hmmmmm
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@Wench Cyka Oct 3rd, 2007 at 1:38 am: “I know one thing, a whole lot of people get a very upset stomach from aspirin, but can drink willow bark tea all day long without a problem. hmmmmm”
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Yeah, aspirine is quite a creepy stomach-killer: it provokes little gastric hemorrhages…
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“…looking into all that old “mumbo-jumbo” and see if there’s any merit to it”
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Funny, I like to try that with everything of the past: I try to see what good stuff was done by our ancestors, and why it had been abandoned. Mostly it’s cost-effectiveness that did it :) The Romans built magnificent buildings, bridges and aquaducts, but if we would have continued to build like them, we would have run out of wood centuries ago. Mind you, some health-related stuff isn’t applicable anymore, because modern humans (I mean in industrialised countries) have lost a lot of their immunity facilities!
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I CAN’T BELIVE THIS BULLSHIT IS REAL, I FOUND THE LINK TO THIS WEBSITE ON A JOKE SITE THAT SAID A STUDENT CAME TO SCHOOL WAIRING A PIRATE COSTUME AND SAID IT WAS PART OF HIS RELIGION.
MAN I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE OR A GIRLFRIEND. ARE YOU TRYING TO MOCK GOD BY SAYING THE WORLD WAS CREATRED BY spaghetti.
YOUR ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE THAT DON’T GET ATTENTION BY OTHER PEOPLE SO YOU MADE YOU OWN RELIGION SO THAT PEOPLE CAN REMEBER YOU.
WHAT CAN YOU SAY ONLY AMIRACANS ARE IS TO ONLY COUNTRY SOMETHING LIKE THIS WILL HAPPEN.
I HOPE YOU DIE IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY SO THE YOU CAN MEET GOOD FOR YOURSELF, AND BURN IN HELL FOR YOU DISRESPECT TO GOD.
AND YOUR GOD LOOKS LIKE PASTE AND MEATBALLS.
HOW CAN GOD BE SOMETHING YOU EAT AND MAKE WITH YOUR OWN HANDS.
GOD MADE US WE DIDN’T MAKE HIM AND EAT HIM FOR LUNCH OR DINNER.
HOPE YOU CHANGE YOUR WAY BEFORE ITS TO LATE, WHY AM I LIEING TO YOU ITS ALREADY TO LATE YOU SHOULD BY FOR YOU SINS IN HELL.
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@Red
“It certainly is mu dear little wabbit. Unless you produce evidence that ship’s cat is safe and unharmed…. 8 months and counting :)
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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, want some stew too Nikkiee?”
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*wabbit holds up fluffy stuffed dinosaur disguised as cat*…errr…will this do?
@Alchemist
Buona Mattina!!! From my cursory perusal of the threads I noticed an apparent lack of alchemy…you been pissed, ill or reborn?…pissed I hope…OZ vs England huh…ummmmm…I’d like to be polite and mumble something about England having a chance but as men of action lies do not become us….
@Nikkie
Hello…I’d talk to you about cricket but you just wouldn’t understand…
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@MOH
“TO LATE YOU SHOULD BY FOR YOU SINS IN HELL.”…so I take it you won’t become a regular???…ahhh well…
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@One-eyed Wonderkin – So you’re not saying its some unexplainable force, just a force that is yet to be explained. I can live with that.
Personally I believe in the potential for ‘psychic’ activity because I have a background in electronics. There’s a thing called mutual inductance, where a current flowing through an inductor creates an electro magnetic field. If this field passes through anther inductor it will produce a current through it. This technology has been used by spies for years as you can read the signals between keyboard and PC and even see what’s on a screen using an aerial tuned in properly. The human brain is just an organic eclectic device so, in theory, the same rules apply.
Would also explain why you sometimes get a bad feeling about someone just from looking at them.
That’s the sort of answers I look for. ‘I believe this because…’ and for it to be something more than ‘because this old holy book that has been proven wrong multiple times said so’.
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@MOH- DO YOU FIND THAT WRITING IN CAPS AND SHOUTING MAKE YOUR OPINION MORE VALID? OR ARE YOU TOO DUMB TO TURN OFF YOUR CAP LOCK? IF YOU CAN’T FIND IT THE CLUE IS IN THE NAME, LEFT HAND SIDE OF THE MAGIC WORD PAD YOU KEEP THUMPING ON!
And learn to write properly, is embarrassing for all of us.
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Now Thumper, you know that that is not good enough! I wanted to be your friend as well but if you go around catnapping other friends thats not going to happen. So, one more chance before frying-pan time: were is ships cat?
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HOPE YOU CHANGE YOUR WAY BEFORE ITS TO LATE, WHY AM I LIEING TO YOU ITS ALREADY TO LATE YOU SHOULD BY FOR YOU SINS IN HELL.
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At least this is one moron who admits to lying to us, if badly spelled. If only all fundies were that honest :P
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@StJohn
“So where’s this bbc blog everyone’s talking about?”
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It’s at
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/ni/
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It discusses various issues, mostly religious. Often from a local Northern Ireland angle. When science-vs-religion issues come up I sometimes join in. Recently there was a thread on ID and creationism in science class rooms:
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/ni/2007/09/the_evolution_of_a_debate_at_s_1.html
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Hi Thumper – yeah I’ve been a bit lax recently – the rugby is taking its toll on the old liver :(
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O-e W.
Homoeopathy isn’t the same as herbal medicine. I think of herbal medicine as the birth of pharmacy. (except they used humans as test subjects :D)
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Homoeopathy is all together too mystical for me. It has it’s basis in a debunked theory called “The Doctrine of Signatures” ;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctrine_of_signatures
Like cures like.
What really gets me is their complete disregard for the germ theory of disease – instead they favour disease causing entities or miasms which are attracted to the body because of some susceptibility – be that emotional or physical stress etc. – these can then embed themselves and cause disease symptoms.
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The most bizarre and, for me, difficult bit to swallow is “the memory of water”.
The dilutions used can be so low that not one atom of the “active ingredient” remains in the *remedy*
- they say that it works because water somehow “remembers” being in contact with the now “poured down the sink” active molecule.
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Sure – water’s a weird molecule and they might be onto something we don’t understand. That’s possible. Yet no independent research to date has shown any results inconsistent with placebo effect or just the healing effect of having someone to spill your guts to for an hour and a half.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homeopathic_medicine
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@Alchemist- The memory of water is bull! Think about it. If water can take on the properties of a substance because it came into contact with it once, then it would apply to other substances it has come into contact with. So the water in you glass as been through several trillion bladders over the eons. Molecules in that glass would have had contact with piss, shit, lead, arsenic, cyanide, bleach, vomit EST. So if the memory of water is right, having a drink is the most dangerous thing a human could do, as it would be the most toxic substance on the face of the earth.
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Pluto wrote “Would also explain why you sometimes get a bad feeling about someone just from looking at them.”
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I have had those feelings from time to time. I have thought about the why. At this time I have concluded that I get those “feelings” based on subconscious reaction to facial expression, vocal tone, and overall body language. For me, it seems to be tied into observation of myself and the world around me.
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@MOH – Sounds like you have some issues with the CoFSM. If you are a catholic you need to go confess your sins to a priest and make them all better. If you are a christian, wishing people to die if not part of jesus’ teachings. If you are just hating to hate, well please come back, you make me laugh in a mocking kind of way.
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@Wench Cyka – The smartest person only knows what they know. The typical US kid has heard about the Salem witch trials, but do not know about the killings in Europe. They do not know how much oppression and death was dealt by the physicians and church in their efforts to push the mid-wife and healers out.
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Pluto – Dawkins makes a similar point in his series “Enemies of Reason” – I was trying to be objective :)
I come from a chemistry background (not just the primordial soup) so my own views are naturally biased against homoeopathy.
I think it’s classic snake oil, Lourdes water etc. Pure old H2O wrapped up in pseudo-scientific or spiritual mumbo-jumbo.
There is a chance that, like the existence of god, I might be wrong :)
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@One-eyed Wonderkin- Yes body language is important, but I’m sort sighted and have got bad vibes off of people when they are just a bluer with hair to me. It works on many levels. So much that goes through our heads is purely subconscious that it’s hard to tell.
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@Alchemist- You should still use reason when being objective. Logic is logic even if you are sitting on a fence.
Yes it would all appear to be the same crock. I’ve seen memory of water trials being carried out scientifically several times. All way the data is against the theory. Also of note is that before the results are in, the ‘pro’-memory of water guys say that the test will prove them conclusively right. Once the results are back in and show against MoW, they say the test was flawed, or that some other variable is missing.
The only thing that was missing was the placebo effect as a good test is double blind.
It’s all in the head. Not to say that’s a bad thing, but when it costs stupid amounts of cash for the service AND you can get it via the NHS it’s a bit of a problem. They should stop funding it with tax money, give the nurses a pay rise and tell them to hand out cups of water and lie about there being lavender or oak bark init.
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Pluto – I’m not sure which part of the post you think I’ve not used reason on. If I were to state that “homoeopaths attribute this effect to the *memory of water*” then all I’m doing is stating a fact. Objectively.
Similarly I could be justified in stating that “Christians believe in Jesus as their own personal saviour”. That is also a fact.
Doesn’t mean I believe it.
I try to stay objective Pluto – unless I’m being stupid or stating an opinion.
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I’ve known a few homoeopaths – their main objection to clinical studies has been the double blind meta analysis.
They say that this method of trial is biased against homoeopathy. The reason they give is that homoeopathy is holistic – it treats the person and not the disease.
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By the very nature of clinical trials as many variables as possible are eliminated. The subjects should be treated identically. Whereas homoeopathy concentrates on the individual and individual difference.
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The idea of treating a skin lesion would be anathema for a homoeopath. Instead, they would treat Mrs Williams who was manifesting physical symptoms.
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Personal feelings – I can’t stand some of these so-called alternative treatments. When vulnerable people are robbed of their life savings in some forlorn hope of what is, to all intent and purposes, a miracle – makes me very mad!
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@Alchemist – “I can’t stand some of these so-called alternative treatments. When vulnerable people are robbed of their life savings in some forlorn hope of what is, to all intent and purposes, a miracle – makes me very mad!” I could not agree with you more. Just realize that the people doing that are con-men and not real. Puts a bad face on it all, just like slimy lawyers.
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@Alchemist – I just had an opportunity to look up some information on homoeopathy and sympathetic magick.
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The description of homoeopathy make it sound like everyone who practices it is trying to kill you. Kind of like leaching a person to stop the bleeding wound. I can imagine there may be on the level people who practice it, but I don’t know any.
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Sympathetic magick – I am unconvinced. Voodoo and Santa Maria are depend on the subject believing. I have heard some stories of people fiding people throw touching their stuff, but never experienced it first hand.
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Fair point O-e W but what about those therapists who really believe in, say, the healing power of crystals.
They might mean well but they seldom do any good and may, unintentionally, delay the patient from seeking effective treatment.
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@ Alchemist- It was the bit where you say: ‘The most bizarre and, for me, difficult bit to swallow is “the memory of water”… Sure – water’s a weird molecule and they might be onto something we don’t understand. That’s possible.’ But we know this not to be true due to the fact water is not a toxic cocktail of death, absorbing the properties of what ever it comes into contact with. No mater how weird water is, it is shown that it has no memory. But I might have been reading into that too much. 10+ cups of coffee a day putts one in a permanent head rush. Not when I do my best thinking to be honest.
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You do make a valid point about the whole ‘treat the person not the condition’ argument those quacks use. The only properly recognised form of medical practice to do this, to my knowledge, is psychiatry. I see this as being more supportive to the placebo argument then anything else.
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But like I said, in England such treatment is available on the NHS so is paid for by tax payers like me. This was brought in at a time when nurses are striking due to lack of pay and health authorities can’t afford medically proven, cancer drugs.
As far as I’m concerned if you wish too spend your own hard earned on crap, go ahead. But don’t waste mine!!
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@OEW & WC – the definition came right from the Merriam Webster on site dictionary…is that a xian dictionary?
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Many people feel that witches and witch craft is an old hocus pocus form of Headology. If you go around announcing to the world that you are witches and wizards, you will have to be prepared for each individual’s interpertation of what that means. To some people is all about the evil and the satanic, to others its about home remedies and natural cures. So you have to remember when you are speaking to people all around the world, you will have to be more specific.
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I don’t know either of you from a hole in the ground or an electron on the internet, so for me to ask the question, what is your definition of being a witch, in my opinion is not unreasonable. Do you go around waving your magic wands, standing over pots of newt entrails, casting the evil eye, or do you practice home remedies and natural child birth?
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Personally I am a skeptic who does not believe in god, gods, santa, the easter bunny, the tooth fairy or magic wands. But I do believe there are many phenomena in the universe that no one can explain…yet. Just like in the misty past when our ancestors thought that lightening was magic, today some of the occurances that happen can look magical. Is it magical? I guess it how you interpret that word eh?
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@MOH – please go to school, lurn yer tree R’s, spend a few more years growing up, then come back and write us a long eloquent missive about your deeply religious ideas, so we can trash them too.
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@Iron Bess- probably little point sending MOH to school; I imagine his teach ID anyway.
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And possibly incest too!
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MOH’S WORDS WILL BE IN CAPITALS, BECAUSE THAT IS APPARENTLY WHAT HE LIKES.
Rob’s replies will be properly a mix of upper and lower case, as current conventions suggest.
I CAN’T BELIVE THIS BULLSHIT IS REAL, I FOUND THE LINK TO THIS WEBSITE ON A JOKE SITE THAT SAID A STUDENT CAME TO SCHOOL WAIRING A PIRATE COSTUME AND SAID IT WAS PART OF HIS RELIGION.
And yet, I believe you are real. Funny how your statement is illogical, since this “bullshit” is here, yet mine is logical, giving you the benefit of the doubt about your existence.
MAN I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE OR A GIRLFRIEND. ARE YOU TRYING TO MOCK GOD BY SAYING THE WORLD WAS CREATRED BY spaghetti.
And yet, you will find, dear sir, many here have a life, a very fun and good one, full of friends and beer (and even a couple old married guys like me). Are you trying to mock us by saying you have proof the world was not?
YOUR ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE THAT DON’T GET ATTENTION BY OTHER PEOPLE SO YOU MADE YOU OWN RELIGION SO THAT PEOPLE CAN REMEBER YOU.
You are one of those people who feel the need to SHOUT in online conversations, because otherwise everyone would ignore your ramblings.
WHAT CAN YOU SAY ONLY AMIRACANS ARE IS TO ONLY COUNTRY SOMETHING LIKE THIS WILL HAPPEN.
Huh? Are you speaking English here? You are wrong no matter what country you SHOUT from.
I HOPE YOU DIE IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY SO THE YOU CAN MEET GOOD FOR YOURSELF, AND BURN IN HELL FOR YOU DISRESPECT TO GOD.
I hope you die a long time from now, after living a full rich life, surrounded by loved ones, knowing you made a positive contribution in society….I know it is a long shot, but I boy can dream.
AND YOUR GOD LOOKS LIKE PASTE AND MEATBALLS.
And yours looks like crackers and juice….what’s your point?
HOW CAN GOD BE SOMETHING YOU EAT AND MAKE WITH YOUR OWN HANDS.
Ask anyone who has taken the communion. At least ours will fill you up.
GOD MADE US WE DIDN’T MAKE HIM AND EAT HIM FOR LUNCH OR DINNER.
Right, you only eat yours for Sunday Brunch.
HOPE YOU CHANGE YOUR WAY BEFORE ITS TO LATE, WHY AM I LIEING TO YOU ITS ALREADY TO LATE YOU SHOULD BY FOR YOU SINS IN HELL.
I changed my ways a long time ago, from the tired rantings of religious nuttery to something much more humane and humble.
Being a Discordian/Pastafarian/Apatheist/Unitarian Universalist (quite a mouthful, even without a meatball in my mouth), I believe that God loves us so much that he never created a Hell for humans to go to, we call go to Heaven, we all can believe in him if we so choose, because our belief is not require to have a good life, and once a week, I cut up an unbunned hot dog and cook it with some RAmen noodles (or just buy Speghetti-O’s with Franks) and hold a beautiful dinner communion with all that is good, and fun, and humorous in the universe, as oppsoed to your God who kills, threatens, and otherwise makes life a living Hell until he throws us into Hell.
I hope you find peace in your life, and learn to let others do so as well.
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The 3R’s of a faith school:
1 Religion
2 Retarded
3 Ridiculous
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i see jesus can’t stop your bad spelling
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Or even…
1. Repentant
2. Regurgitation
3. Recess
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@Rob – hmmmm, I may have to pass on the old spaghetti-o’s and hotdogs version of a beautiful dinner. Are you perhaps from Jolly Old England? But I will think of you while eating fetuccini alfredo and shrimp, and say R’Amen to all the Discordian/Pastafarian/Apatheist/Unitarian Universalists in the world.
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“…and in his house are many mansions”
Which planet is that on? And why so many mansions when 99.9% of earth’s population is going to a firey furnace of unending loving torture?
Polly wants a cracker!
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Pluto – ok – got you now. Probably my fault – I’m not always crystal clear. I was more hinting at the fact that we don’t know everything and sometimes our theories are wrong. ie open minded scepticism.
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Re: NHS and the provision of homoeopathic treatments.
Yeah – when patients are struggling to gain access to anti-cancer agents because NICE (national institute of clinical excellence) have deemed them ineffective on a cost/benefit analysis!
Yet homoeopathy has been available on the NHS since it’s inception in 1948! C’mon people!
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I wonder how much of that has to do with our Royal Families support of Homoeopathy? From Prince Albert to the present Queen and Prince Cuckoo!
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@Alchemist – Don’t those guys run or at least have a huge influence in your country? I really dispise the people who prey on the weak.
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@Iron Bess – Yes is beiieve that Webster’s has a christian type bent. Nothing prejudicial in the definition provided was there?
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I appreciate that you asked the question. I always have to struggle to explain because I am not a wiccan. I end up using terms like witch. That is one of the reasons that I don’t go around announcing that I use “magic”, it just does not capture it for me.
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I think that at some point in the future, humans may be able to explain the things I have experienced.
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Alchemist — “I’ve known a few homoeopaths – their main objection to clinical studies has been the double blind meta analysis. They say that this method of trial is biased against homoeopathy. The reason they give is that homoeopathy is holistic – it treats the person and not the disease.”
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No, the reason is that homeopathy is a big steaming pile of horse crap. As Dawkins wrote, “There is such thing as being so open minded that your brain falls out.”
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This is one of those cases. If anyone is healed from these treatments, it is due to being touched by His Noodly Appendage and has nothing to do with the water. Let’s give credit where credit is due.
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RAmen,
OEJ
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@Alchemist – haven’t seen Rowdiest or any of the others posting in awhile (of course I haven’t been either) are they still kicking around?
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OEJ – I agree – it’s a steaming pile of shite. As I was saying to Pluto though – I was stating the position of the homoeopath – not my position. That’s why I keep using phrases like “They say”!
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(PS – are you the OEJ I know from last year?)
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O-e W. “Don’t those guys run or at least have a huge influence in your country? I really dispise the people who prey on the weak.”
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Well – we have a Constitutional Monarchy. They shouldn’t have an influence. They do though. Neither are class distinctions dead – we just like to pretend :D
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IB – yeah – the old guard are still kicking around :) We tend to keep to our private space these days (you know the address) – problem is here, after a while all the conversations have been exhausted and you just end up repeating yourself.
It’s not often a new topic turns up these days! For whatever reason?????
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Jump into the group again IB – I’m keeping *sort of* quiet for today – it’s got a scary oestrogen feel to it :)
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@ Iron Bess
Sorry, you got a little rabid about atheism a while back, so I’d taken a very sacrastic and confrontational approach to answering your questions lately. I tend to take umbrage(sp?) with anyone who tells me I shouldn’t be allowed to believe in a god, and that seemed to be the gist of one of your posts. I agree, micromanaging monotheism hurts all who cater to it, but that does not mean that there is nothing beyond what we currently understand, and that we can not interact with it. When I say that I am a witch, I mean that I believe I sense some things that those around me do not, or not until well after I do. I believe that I can effect changes in my life by means that science has yet to explain – not that it will never be able to – hell, I’d love to find out what the real scoop is myself! I believe that with these abilities that I have, I need to sometimes use them to help others, because I am not the only person out there with these talents, and not all with them are nice people. Some will use what they have to harm those who can’t defend themselves, and I cal myself a witch, drawing much ridicule and criticism, so that the ones out there who need my help and need to come to me, can.
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Most of the time I just run into them myself and pull them aside and ask them what them problem is, usually ending up with a wet shoulder as a complete stranger bursts into tears, such is life. I put up with being called a crazy old bat among other things for those who need to find me, not to convince anyone else of my validity.
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errr, correction: “ask them what THEIR problem is”
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seems I am incapable of making a post without one typo
Wench Cyka
Queen of Engrish
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@ Alchemist
I use crystals constantly, mostly to focus my concentration. Computer geeks have known for years that crystals vibrate at a certain frequency or some such, I am not sure if that’s what I am tapping into, I just know that if I want to achieve this purpose, this type of stone generally helps.
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That’ll be $500 please. Just kidding! I never charge anything for a single thing I do, though I do feel quite unappreciated when a person admits I’ve helped them, thanks me profusely, then doesn’t even buy me a lousy beer, flower, or card! Probably why I’m still not living in one of those many mansions.
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Hey, maybe I should fake a Jamaican accent… Call me now fer yer free readin!
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@ Iron Bess: Jolly NEW England. But I do take the across the pond reference as a compliment. I do have a Monty Pythonesque sense of humor, when I’m in a good mood. “Just one more thin wafer sir.” LOL….their God is so tasteless compared to a good sit down speghetti and meatball dinner.
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Wench Cyka.
To focus your concentration? No problem with that – a form of self-hypnosis. I turn on some fans (for a type of white noise) and smoke a blunt :)
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The idea that a crystal contains healing energies is a bit beyond me.
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Well, healing ain’t really my realm, though I do hope to learn some of it one day.
I do know that sodalite is a great focus anything stone, hematite is a great grounding stone, especially if you’re emotionally twitchy, labradorite can be used like an energy bank, so can quartz, but not very long-term. Labradorite can hold a charge like a car battery. Onyx is great for sucking out negative energy, like if you need to be calm and you just had a bad case of road-rage…
This is the kinda crap I mean. Like my previous posts say, and like I tell my kids, this is what I believe, I’m not out to convince anyone else, but when I’m in a decent mood, I will answer nicely asked questions without too much sarcasm ;-)
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@MOH “I CAN’T BELIVE THIS BULLSHIT IS REAL” Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty!
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“MAN I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE OR A GIRLFRIEND. ARE YOU TRYING TO MOCK GOD BY SAYING THE WORLD WAS CREATRED BY spaghetti.”
Don’t feel sorry for me. I have both. And I think you are mocking our Spaghetti Monster by saying the world was created by God!
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“WHAT CAN YOU SAY ONLY AMIRACANS ARE IS TO ONLY COUNTRY SOMETHING LIKE THIS WILL HAPPEN.” Erm? Can you say that in English? I am from the UK. FSM is a faith for all nations.
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“I HOPE YOU DIE IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY SO THE YOU CAN MEET GOOD FOR YOURSELF, AND BURN IN HELL FOR YOU DISRESPECT TO GOD.” Spoken like a true Christian. You must really hate that Jesus guy. All that not judging others, “Love thy enemy” and “Turn the other cheek” bullshit.
Seems to me that Jesus had no idea what Christians wanted from him.
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“AND YOUR GOD LOOKS LIKE PASTE AND MEATBALLS.”
And yours looks like a reject from ZZ Top!
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“HOPE YOU CHANGE YOUR WAY BEFORE ITS TO LATE, WHY AM I LIEING TO YOU ITS ALREADY TO LATE YOU SHOULD BY FOR YOU SINS IN HELL.”
Again, spoken like a true Christian!
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Alchemist – all things have an energy to them. Being able to utilize the energy is possible.
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The healing aspect may be a combination of self hypnosis and focus on the object or process. I freely acknowledge that there are things that a person can’t heal for themselves without modern medicine.
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RAmen to that one!
If all things could easily be cured by magic in this world, I would never have another migraine as long as I live, that’s fer dern sure! Yeah, plenty of people out there love to be sick so others take care of them, and feel bad for them. I can’t stand pity, and I have always taken great joy in doing things on my own. Everyone around me knows not to get in my way on a good day, they just might get knocked over as I do everything I can before another headache shuts me down.
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If you would like a true, 18 years-practicing witch to write a letter on behalf of most homeopathy is tripe for you Al, just let my know! But until my head is pain-free, I’ll try every remedy presented my way! Currently, Belladonna in small doses, yes deadly nightshade, has worked best. Hey it’s better for me than the oxycontin!
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Alchemist Oct 3rd, 2007 at 11:55 am
Hi :)
“after a while all the conversations have been exhausted and you just end up repeating yourself.”
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Sounds familiar :p))
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Ahh Nikkiee – the classic statement. One that is intended to elicit a reaction yet all innocence can be portrayed by the issuer.
You’re bright and smiley all of a sudden? We hear fuck-all from you and then you suddenly manage to appear when a disagreement starts?
Just bad timing I guess? :p))
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@Pluto
“The 3R’s of a faith school:
1 Religion
2 Retarded
3 Ridiculous”
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That’s remarkably similar to how someone summed up George Bush’ voters to me:
- rich
- religious
- rednecks
- retards
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I don’t want to sound stupid, but what does RAmen mean?
I asked this in a different thing, but I don’t remember which one it was XD
So if I ever want to know the answer, I have to remember it was THIS ONE.
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@Alchemist Oct 3rd, 2007 at 3:17 pm
“Just bad timing I guess? :p))”
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Perhaps you should check the threads a bit more Alchemist, I’ve been around :))
In a nasty mood are we? :p))
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@Alchemist Oct 3rd, 2007 at 3:17 pm
“You’re bright and smiley all of a sudden?”
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Yep and I have good reason. Lifes great. :)) Appologies if that annoys you :(((
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litgiditga Oct 3rd, 2007 at 3:37 pm
“I don’t want to sound stupid, but what does RAmen mean?”
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“RAmen” is used at the end of a statement to express approval.
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Please, correct me if I’m wrong…
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Completely off-topic, this nice (sad?) freudian slip from the Muricans beloved president:
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“Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit. I appreciate—APEC summit.”—addressing the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation, Sydney, Australia, Sept. 7, 2007
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Why has a Christian started a thread saying “Take Head“? I thought they believed “Tis better to give than receive” like it says in the bible.
They should be saying “Give head” that would be a more Christian thing to do surely?
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Nikki – I thought you had to dash off and do important things or meet friends :)
FSM knows we’d hate to keep you from your fun packed life!
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Yeah – you’re spot on – I’m jealous of you. Or maybe it’s got something to do with your constant “I’ve got more important thing to do… posts”?
Who knows!
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@Alchemist Oct 3rd, 2007 at 3:17 pm
“We hear fuck-all from you and then you suddenly manage to appear when a disagreement starts?”
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Just a suggestion but have you considered getting a new seive? :D
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oops. Have I posted at a bad time?
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Alchemist Oct 3rd, 2007 at 4:15 pm
“I’ve got more important thing to do… posts”
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Never said more important things to do…but yeah exams are looming. By the way who’s “we”?
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Davros the Dalek dude Oct 3rd, 2007 at 4:22 pm
“oops. Have I posted at a bad time?”
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Nah :)) Just a not unusual monthly dummy spit :p)
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Don’t worry Davros – some folks seem to think they’re beyond criticism. They seem to think people are in awe of them (remember that ???)
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Aww well – must be my fault – the dummy I was sucking slipped out when I started laughing :D
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Alchemist – you are pretty flexible, aren’t you?
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I, too, say take heed and hear what good council can be taken from this web page. Religion, whatever one chooses as a guide, is a very good thing. Too much religion spawns fanaticism, which spawns wars, fear of the truth and general ignorance. While I shall choose to worship other deities, and not the Spaghetti Monster, each should be free to learn and choose for themselves in full safety and without admonitions from well meaning, though misguided, devoted followers of other paths. Science may some day discover some overlapping territories where religion rings true, but to force that with false data or manipulations of data and statistics is simply creating a lie. No religion that I have heard of values a falsehood. Schools are for facts, temples, churches and covens are for teaching religion. The two are neither interchangeable nor indispensable in all cases. You speak of judgment and yet you exercise little of your own. Be still and pray for your own enlightenment. Blessed Be.
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@ OeW
Don’t post things like that! You’ll beat my best friend to making me spit liquid out my nose!
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@Griz
RAmen!
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*whispers quietly in a giggly voice,”We’re everywhere!” then snickers and walks away*
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@Alchemist Oct 3rd, 2007 at 5:17 pm
“some folks seem to think they’re beyond criticism. They seem to think people are in awe of them (remember that ???)”
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At me? If so remember what?
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Wench Cyka
Oct 3rd, 2007 at 9:03 pm
*whispers quietly in a giggly voice,”We’re everywhere!” then snickers and walks away*
*
snickers are a very tasty bit of chocolate aren’t they?
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Hey! don’t make fun of my addiction!
Chocoholism is a serious problem that has me paying homage to the great gods of Cocoa on a daily basis!!
*quickly hides three wrappers in a baby’s carseat, hoping nobody saw how fast they vanished between the store and the car*
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What’s more holy? milk chocolate or dark?
Would it be dark? because dark is purer?
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Of course! I’ve even been caught consuming straight baker’s chocolate during the penny-pinching days, when there’s nothing to cook it into! bout 70% is perfect!
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@Alchemist and Wenchy
“@Alchemist Oct 3rd, 2007 at 5:17 pm
“some folks seem to think they’re beyond criticism. They seem to think people are in awe of them (remember that ???)”
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At me? If so remember what?”
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*wabbit folds arms tapping foot*…
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hmmm, lucky wabbit’s feet… wabbit stew…. heeeeerrrrreeeee bunny bunny!!!
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“hmmm, lucky wabbit’s feet… wabbit stew”
Hehehehehehehe….second smile I’ve had this afternoon :))
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Sorry Thumper :( Don’t worry about it. Just the usual :((
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Hey is Bambi with ya? Mmmmm, nice venison meatballs, oh dear!
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@Wench Cyka
“heeeeerrrrreeeee bunny bunny!!!”…hello…did you know wabbit is lacking in almost all essential vitamins and minerals???…tis true…
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@Wenchy
The usual huh…I’ve been hiding…waiting for the “catgate” fiasco to blow over…what may seem usual to you may well be rather unusual for the wabbit…*wabbit arches eyebrow…ears back flat*
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@Wench Cyka
“Hey is Bambi with ya? Mmmmm, nice venison meatballs, oh dear!”…oh deer oh deer…
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Wench Cyka, care to join me next june for some wabbit-hunting? The wabbit refuses to say if the cat is safe. So the wabbit-hunt is still on :)
*
And dark chocolate is definitly best! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, chocolate…. *slurp*
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@Red
“Wench Cyka, care to join me next june for some wabbit-hunting”…that’s too bad Red…wabbit season down under is in April…are you comming to sunny Queensland??? make sure you visit “The Big Pineapple”…it’s really something…our answer to the Sphinx…we also have plenty of barren desert and poison nasty wildlife…and drop bears…you sure you still wanna come here???
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@☠DutchPastaGuy☠-“That’s remarkably similar to how someone summed up George Bush’ voters to me:”
I think you’ll find they are the same people Dutch.
First rule of Faith School: Vote Republican!!!
Second rule of Faith School: VOTE REPUBLICAN!!!
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*mocks God*
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Thumper ™
Oct 4th, 2007 at 2:56 am
@Red
“Wench Cyka, care to join me next june for some wabbit-hunting”…that’s too bad Red…wabbit season down under is in April…are you comming to sunny Queensland??? make sure you visit “The Big Pineapple”…it’s really something…our answer to the Sphinx…we also have plenty of barren desert and poison nasty wildlife…and drop bears…you sure you still wanna come here???
*
We’ll do some poaching then, poached wabbit…… I can always say it was an accident *honestly officer, that pan just slipped from my hands*
Yes, I’m still coming over, even to queensland :) I’m bringing my frying pan anyway so I should be quite safe.
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Paul, wich one?
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Mock all gods, they’re not exactly going to stop you…
(and I’m pretty sure the FSM can distill mockery down into a whole new brand of pasta-ey goodness with which to further spread the noodley love).
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Somebody needs to do the patented Jingles Fuckwit Finder Mark 2 on this capslock dude – but I haven’t the time :(
Ho hum!
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@Red Dutch
“We’ll do some poaching then, poached wabbit”
Hehehehehe….
You don’t want to go to the Big Pineapple…don’t listen to him. I think you’ll find the Gold Coast much more rewarding :p
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Nasty deadly things, don’t bother me, I have kids! And oh yeah, I live in Airzona too!
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Arizona, home of one of the world’s nastier species of scorpion. I love venomous wildlife…
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Wench Cyka worte – “Hey is Bambi with ya? Mmmmm, nice venison meatballs, oh dear!” So you like balls, nice to hear ;)
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@One-eyed Wonderkin-You sly old cad
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Hey – I resemble that remark!
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@Homo narrans
“Arizona, home of one of the world’s nastier species of scorpion. I love venomous wildlife…”…you must be kidding…my blue ringed octopus would beat your scorpion in a fight any day and twice on Sunday…scorpion…sheeesh…don’t get me started on the drop bear…
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Thumper don’t be dense. A blue ringed octopus would fry in the desert. Calamari anyone?
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I hear that scorpion love rabbit. Thinking of sacraficing yourself for the good of insect kind?
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* looks around CoFSM *
Oops. Not much chance of that.
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People do that a lot and it doesn’t have any measurable affect.
Isn’t it ironic that the total failure of their prayers to have any affect lends further support the case that their God doesn’t exist and so reinforces our disbelief.
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This is another example of how xians are martyrs to their own stupidity.
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Tee Hee. & RAmen.
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@All Wenches & Pirates
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Anyone fancy posting this as a prayer request on Itpog?
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Dear God, almighty, all-powerful, all-loving creator of the universe, we pray to you to cure every case of cancer on this planet tonight. We pray in faith, knowing you will bless us as you describe in Matthew 7:7, Matthew 17:20, Matthew 21:21, Mark 11:24, John 14:12-14, Matthew 18:19 and James 5:15-16. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
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Found it on godisimaginary.com/i1.htm
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grow up your a pansy for posting this and what does it mean i am the victor is your name victor? dont mock my god.. dude its a fun webite GET OVER IT
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I just realized that Calamari is squid not octopus! (Splat plam to fore head).
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I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do, NO ONE can tell me he does not exist.
My dear. This is exactly what the purpose of the fsm is all about. May his noodly appendage touch you.
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@Thumper ™ Oct 4th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
“sheeesh…don’t get me started on the drop bear…”
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…..or the Bunyip :p
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From my area, I can put up some Taipan snakes and a zillion cane toads.
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not to be offensive towards anyone, but this whole praying thing… it’s simply supposebly working cuz of law of attraction want to have real enlightment? Go to freewebs.com/awsumnessanity and you’ll find that we are all right and you should be allowed to worship freely!
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bleckh bleckh bleckh! Ok Thumper, you actually Win this round! I had to turn in my gas mask when I left the military, and the only smell in this world that will truly make me instantly hurl when not knocked up is any tentacled form of aquatic life! You wasqually wabbit!!! I’lll get you!!!
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Wench Nikkiee
Oct 4th, 2007 at 5:43 am
@Red Dutch
“We’ll do some poaching then, poached wabbit”
Hehehehehe….
You don’t want to go to the Big Pineapple…don’t listen to him. I think you’ll find the Gold Coast much more rewarding :p
*
Oh, I’m not taking advice from a catnapping, wasqually wabbit! I’ll take yours anytime :) (despite the cane-toads and snakes)
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Wench Cyka, get in line!
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Thanks Red…..don’t worry I’ll protect ya. (:)) Famous last words :p)
Maybe if we suck up (no NOT slurp Red!) to him a bit.
Here let me try…..
Oh Thumper deerest, might I politely suggest at least removing the duct tape from the Cat’s mouth and allowing it to inform us, in it’s own words, that it is in fact un-barbequed and alive?
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“despite the cane-toads and snakes”
Why June is the perfect time to visit QLD. Snakes hybernating. Nearly no toads around and next to no bitey insects. Beautiful weather. Or from one of our ads “Beautiful one day, perfect the next”
So yeah only really the wabbit to watch out for. Oh and the Drop Bears….of course :p
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ok, I’ll ask… what in all of FSM’s drunken creation is a drop bear?
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Wench Cyka
None that have actually encountered one have lived to tell the tale. Eye witness accounts have been very conflicting and sketchy due to having seen the horror and the speed of the attack.
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http://www.geocities.com/muirnin/db.htm
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Aussies, from a young age aware of them are made aware of them. In fact parents sometimes tell tales of them to scare kids into being good. Uninformed OS backpackers however have been known to unwittingly pitch their tents under trees inhabited by one and…..well…..
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erm…*Aussies from a young age are made aware of them*
Bloody frosted reading glasses…I tell ya!!
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oooooh what are the export rules?? I want one!
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I’m sure the Aussie Govt. would be more than happy to export a few on the quiet, since according to them, they don’t really exist at all. Trouble is finding someone capable, or maybe just stupid/drunk enough to go find one.
Such is their reputation here, that most would probably just shake their head and laugh at the thought of deliberately going out to catch one.
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Dammit! Now I really really mourn the loss of Steve Irwin=(
Not only did many a fine drinking game dry up, but now I can’t get my new pet! Any other crazy Aussies out there that the Discovery Channel just hasn’t found yet?
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ok ok, yeah, even I know that was just wrong….
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“Any other crazy Aussies out there that the Discovery Channel just hasn’t found yet?”
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Hehehehehe….yeah anywhere outside a 50km (erm…bout 30 mile) radius of a township….though plenty in the towns too. Hard to distinguish the four legged wild life from the two legged kind in the more western areas of OZ. Well not just the western areas.
The area where Irwin lived when he started hunting crocs is bout 120kms south of me and bit inland…. I’m on the coast. Plenty of horseless Cowboys in QLD, as well as the other type. In fact our local footy team is the Cowboys. There motto….”save a horse ride a cowboy”.
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“Not only did many a fine drinking game dry up”
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Hahahaha….sounds interesting…do tell :))
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“ok ok, yeah, even I know that was just wrong….”
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Nah Steve would have loved it. He was actually a very intelligent man and quite different to his media persona. He always had a great sense of humour.
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@The lovely Professor Booty, ask and thou shalt recieve (except for strippers, they don’t fit in an airmail package very well…)
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FUCKWIT FINDER
***(version 2.1)***
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Again, I’m aiming for simplicity of use here folks, but due to the failure of the previous model to perform to its full capacity, the upgrade will be slightly more in-depth then the previous one.
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Alright, unlike the previous one, this is not out of ten. Rather, each category represents a range of values; you use what is appropriate to the level of fuckwitticy. (eg if he doesn’t provide a name, 1 point, if the name is capitalized, 2, references god, christianity, insults the FSM, etc, 1, if the name is alternating upper/lower case, 3 points etc)
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Poster’s Name (0-5)
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Bad Grammar (0-5)
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Bad Spelling (0-5)
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Overuse of Caps lock (0-3)
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Threats of burning in hell, divine vengeance, etc (0-4)
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Threats of physical violence, rape, etc (0-5)
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Threats of violence against the FSM (0-3)
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Lowbrow insults (0-5)
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Accusations of homosexuality (0-5)
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Spamming (0-5)
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Dismissing CotFSM as a joke or at extremes, a cult (0-3)
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Seriously referencing AiG (or similar) material (0-2)
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0-2: A Normal Person; Intelligent, reasonable, polite and respectable. High likelihood of a reasoned belief system, and serves as a credit to the human race.
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2-5: An Angry Person; While they may normally be a decent poster, they are either irritated, excited, or otherwise unfocused, allowing slightly more than the occasional slip to occur.
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5-13: A Nitwit; Likely seeking attention, may not necessarily mean to irritate, but is not aware of proper forum etiquette, and so comes across badly. With patient counselling, and the occasional application of a large blunt object, subject may be cured.
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13-20: Dimwit; Not overly violent or aggressive, but is nevertheless a troll, an inbred hillbilly, or an above average-intelligence fundamentalist. They are on the absolute edge of redeemability. With extreme electroshock, elocution & deportment lessons, and substantial severe blunt-force trauma, could be upgraded to a nitwit.
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20-25: Arsehole; From the beginning, this guy is irritating. Thankfully, he just doesn’t have much skill at it. Obviously suffering under the weight of some sort of mental baggage, be it oedipal issues, repressed memories of the bad things the priest did, or just frustrated from being unable to tie his own shoelaces at the age of twenty, he sees flaming as a legitimate excuse to vent the rage. As tedious as his posts may be, just be glad he isn’t out on the streets instead.
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25-30: Jesus Camp Attendant; Favours mindless repetition of juvenile slurs, pointless arguments and flawed logic, this guy is as thick as two short planks. Be warned, they often hunt in pairs or triplets, and can clog a thread for quite some time. Makes insults tempting. Makes violence alluring. Makes Iraq seem Not That Bad.
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30-35: Pentecostal Priest; It has to be, really. I mean, what other job fits a violent deranged racist, homophobic, semi-illiterate grandstander? On second thought, could be a Westboro Baptist, a Klansman, or the current occupants of the White House. Like his predecessor, the Shit, shotgun is the best – nay, only solution for a face to face encounter. In the virtual arena, you’ll just have to grit your teeth.
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35-40: Arseclown; Be warned, he has oars, and lots of them. He will use them at any opportunity. He does not go away easily, often returning to the site for up to a few days, and delights in such stupid things as spamming profanity, impersonating others, and claiming we are all just deranged cultists with deficient IQs. Oh the irony.
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40-45: Those That Shall Not Be Named; That’s right folks, you’ve all seen them. You’ve all known them. You’ve all hated them. They can and will shut down threads for days. Some threads still bear the scars of the great battles, against them in the past. These are the lieutenants of the great beast, It’s favoured champions.
Known only by acronyms, for fear of summoning their presence by the utterance of their name, it is for these that our valiant pirates train, sharpening their rusty cutlasses into gleaming razors of satire and wit, reinforcing their bastions of common sense with iron reason and diamond logic.
They are hard to beat, resistant to logic, wit and even shunning. However, they are not invincible.
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45-49: Mimic; They fill out the forms a little too well. Not really that bad, just find their true name and they will be defeated.
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50: The Fuckwit; The anti-cheezus, the net itself turns black and dies at his approach. Spaghetti shrivels, sauce dries. His sign is L337, his marker spam. Run and hide, for only the one true prophet may fell this beast. This is the sign of the end-times.
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Poster’s Name; 1 (Who or what is a MS? Surely it’s Ms?)
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Bad Grammar; 3 (Please learn to shorten sentences where appropriate)
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Bad Spelling; 4 (Thru? Criticze? Head?! )
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Overuse of Capslock; 2 (Annoying only)
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Threats of burning in hell, divine vengeance, etc; 4 (Our punishment will come? For what?)
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Threats of physical violence, rape etc, threats of violence against the FSM, lowbrow insults and accusations of homosexuality; All 0 (Ahh, now why couldn’t they all be this polite?)
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Spamming; 1 (I consider the bible the worst kind of junk mail)
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Dismissing CotFSM as a joke/cult; 2 (She keeps on talking about this lord guy too…)
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Seriously referencing AiG or similar material; 2 (Quoting scripture is soooo last millennia)
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Total = 19
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Dimwit I’m afraid. Crack out the beer, pasta & strippers (and a few heavy clubs), and we might just save this poor soul though.
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Enjoy :)
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Hey wenchies, how go things?
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The aether seemed a little charged last time I dropped ’round, so I didn’t say hi…
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Hi Jingles
“Seriously referencing AiG (or similar) material (0-2)”
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Only 2? Ya think? All the most rabid fundies reference AiG…still.
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I gave it a low value because, if they’re crazy enough to use it like it means anything, they’re already going to struggle enough with just passing the basic literacy requirements. In other words, they need all the help they can get.
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Just read right through FUCKWIT FINDER ***(version 2.1)***
*stands, claps and whistles*
Take a bow Jingles you’ve outdone yourself yet again!
RAmen
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“In other words, they need all the help they can get.”
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True :(
I see your point.
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Drinking games like,
every time Steve-o says Ain’t she a Beau’ie! that’s one drink
Crikey! that’s two drinks
Woooo! with his fist in the air: 3, at least
He breaks something or requires some kind of medical attention: that’s a chug the whole beer / take a shot / down your mixer
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many varieties, depending on your locale, duty station, level of drunkeness, ability to still unnerstan’ Aussie, abiliy to shtill stan… hick!
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Oh! I totally forgot! When he does something totally infrigginsane like jump in the open water with a croc 5 times his size, alone, that’s a whole round, for everyone playing, no matter how done you are, even if you have to be kicked to wake up for the round. Thank you Steve Irwin for such good times!
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Hahahahahahaha…
Excellent!
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“He breaks something or requires some kind of medical attention:”
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Gee that one would have been killer :p
Possible we have something similar here…haven’t played any myself though. Drinking nights are far and few between for me these days. Plenty of them out at uni but I live out of town so the driving is a problem. Recovery seems to take longer these days as well…not good for studying :(
I ocassionally visit the club bar at uni “just for one drink” and end up out on the town for the whole night.
So to catch up with friends there I make sure I go at lunch time if at all….safest way.
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With all those rules everyone would have been blind in the first 20mins of a show.
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I see Perth back on the map :)
You played those ones Jingles?
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I’ve just got in to work not 120min ago.
First thing I did was make a cup of coffee so strong it could kill Shaquille O’Neal, put my feet up and eat an egg, bacon and black pudding bagget (that’s right, a real man’s brekie) wile reading the posts on FSM.
Well this morning I realised something, something profound. As much as we disagree with the fundies, we need them!
Yes that’s right, we need them!
Not in a “baby I need you so bad” kind of way, but more like how the police need criminals, the army needs war or pet med companies need worms and fleas!
This little community only exists because of unreasoning, illogical, stupid, ill-informed and possibly mentally handicapped self righteous fucks.
So come on guys. Join me when I turn to people who perceive us as enemies, the Christians, the Muslims, the Hindu and the Jews (by the by what’s with you guy? Are you a race or a religion? I always have a hard time with that one) and say:
Thank you!
Thank you for being unreasoning, illogical, stupid, ill-informed and possibly mentally handicapped self righteous fucks!
Thanks for the memories!
And a great big thank you for making me feel superior, every day!
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FSM bless us! Every one!
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@Pluto Oct 5th, 2007 at 2:24 am
“Thanks for the memories!”
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And the laughs…and laughs….
RAmen
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@ Wench Nikkiee- Yes there have been a few good giggles. It’s so easy to right a good reply to hate mail. They almost write them selves.
I thought it was only right to say thanks for all the mileage we’ve gotten out of them.
I might give them a little treat and post a mirrored hate mail on one of their sites and see what the reaction is. See how they like it when we order them to take head! Personally, if that’s the price of salvation I’d rather burn than take a shot in the mouth off some old dude in a robe with a beard.
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“I might give them a little treat and post a mirrored hate mail on one of their sites and see what the reaction is. See how they like it when we order them to take head!”
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Hahahahahahahahaha….be sure to post a link when you do.
RAmen
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I’m out now Pluto so I’ll catch you later :))
Don’t work too hard on this Holy Friday.
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Fuck work lets party!
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We have a similar one… everytime Blackadder hits, abuses or belittles Baldrick, we take a drink. Never been game enough to try it with anything stronger then beer.
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Otherwise, we generally play circle of death (two packs of cards face down on the table, each card means something, etc), or coins (bounce a 20c piece into a shotty :P
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Oh well, I’m off.
Cya all around.
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Ok. I modifyed this post.
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I’m not writing this to criticize you; I’m here to warn you, PLEAE DO NOT WORSHIP A GOD. I have read some of the content that you have posted and to the simple minded and the believers you make a few key points. However, to non believers like myself I can only hope for your enlightenment because you don’t know what your doing and I whish you would except logic. After running across a conversation with a co-worker I decided to visit your website and I was immediately saddened. I just want you to know that I’m not successful by chance, I was supposed to be dead along time ago, sleeping in my grave, but a doctor saved my life when praying failed. Which is why I am here today, faith in modern medicine. Although, I have never seen evolution, I can feel it all around me, in everything I do; NO ONE can tell me it does not exist. Thru personal experiences and the teaching of grate men of science, I was the enlightened. I’m not sure if you’re doing this for sick kicks or what, to each his own. Whether this is just a publicity stunt, true belief, or what have you, I just want you to know that reason lives and in it’s house are many truths…….May logic come to you and Keep your mind clear.
“We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes” – Gene Roddenberry
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Anything I can add/change? I’m off to look for a good sight to post it on, unless anyone already knows one.
For more quotes goto http://www.chrisbeach.co.uk/viewQuotes.php
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@Jingles
“everytime Blackadder hits, abuses or belittles Baldrick, we take a drink. Never been game enough to try it with anything stronger then beer.”
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We did that with “Bill and Ted” when I was at Uni…half took a drink when someone said “Bill” and the other half when “Ted” got a mention…on air guitars everyone had to drink…boy I wish I could remember more of those years…
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@Wenchy
“…..or the Bunyip :p”…errr…Bunyips aren’t really real Wenchy…someone made them up to sell T-shirts and scare tourists…sheeesh…
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*insert muffled cat noise*
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WOW! some good sties out there
http://www.ecaeagles.org/
“Imagine your child . . .
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Growing strong in character and academics,
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Focused on God’s presence,
Le.d by caring teachers,
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Being equipped to excel . . .
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Imagine your child changing the world!
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At Evangelical Christian Academy,
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students become dream makers
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and world changers.”
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How the hell did Thumper and Ships Cat get out of the cages?
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Shit! This is harder than i first thought. Check this out.
“In this area, Beliefnet welcomes Christians who believe that the Bible is literally true, inerrant, and the only authority for Christian faith, and that that accepting Jesus Christ as one’s only Lord is the only way to salvation. If this describes you, you are invited to join the discussions here.
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If this does not describe you, please do not post in this area; instead, we invite you to visit our other Christian forums.
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To debate the validity of Christianity, or to criticize or debate Evangelical Christianity specifically, visit the Debate Forum (for people of all faiths) or Christian-to-Christian Debate (for Christians only).
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Want to learn more about Evangelical Christianity? Members will respond to sincere, respectful questions in Learn About Evangelical Christianity.”
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The faithful segregate us!! We don’t do it to them! This would seem to be the norm on most sites. Looks like a way to avoid direct confrontation!
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Got a good one.
http://www.parentscentre.gov.uk/forum/messageview.cfm?catid=183&threadid=30896
“Heard on the radio about the girl who’s suing her school for not letting her wear jewellery, because she’s a Christian and is claiming the ring in question is a religious symbol, just like Sikhs who have to wear a bracelet and Muslims wearing the headscarf.
I’m going to send my kids dressed as pirates, because that’s what our chosen religion – Pastafarianism – dictates the most devout followers should do. Followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster are often looked down upon and discriminated against because non-believers claim it’s a ridiculous made-up religion, so it’s especially important for us to insist on our rights.
We maintain that ‘you’ve got a nerve’, (eating the body of Christ, 1000s of angels dancing on the head of a pin, suicide bombers getting ’special’ treatment in heaven, mutilating your baby boys genit@ls because god told you to do it, believing the world was created in literally 6 days and god making fake dinosaur bones and planting them around the world to test the faithfull, believing your saviour could go conjuring tricks for real ‘Water – wine, Wine – water – just like that’…..)
Which is better – either everyone wears what they want or every wears a uniform and no exceptions?”
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Ok, got on
http://www.newliferomsey.org.uk/Forums/Messages.aspx?ThreadID=59972#new
Could only get as far as the guest book (booo!). Like with the other sites you need a logon. Apparently only Christians are allowed to discus Christianity!
A bit unfair, as we let anyone post here.
Cunts!
Good news is you can still comment on the post, so feel free to mix it up a bit! If I get a good reply from a god box I’ll post it here.
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Pluto – You want to consider a scale back on the caffiene and sugar in our diet.
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@CA – they are tricky little buggers. You may wish to send out the hunting party. I hear Wench Cyka is great with a gun and she can shoot too!
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OEW, i believe as a good wench, Cyka should be better with a cannon.
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Pluto, if you need to register and login, why not? but what we should do, is get maybe 20 of us to do it the same time. i believe it is time for a good old fashioned site pillaging and raiding.
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@CA
“but what we should do, is get maybe 20 of us to do it the same time. i believe it is time for a good old fashioned site pillaging and raiding.”
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You’ve got my email :) – I can think of a few people who might be interested.
Time for some spoof email accounts and TOR?
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@OEW-”Pluto – You want to consider a scale back on the caffeine and sugar in our diet.”
Dude I have between 5 & 10 cups of coffee a day, each with 2 sugars init.
If I was to go cold turkey…well, I may well die! Is that what you want? Cos that’s what will happen!
I also have a very boring job and post to make it look like I’m doing something. If I didn’t post and keep wandering off for coffee they would realise how pointless me sitting there twiddling my thumb’s actually is and fire me! Or worst, give me a job where I have to do something.
@CA- I concur, but I’d like a good alias. Something super villainy would be nice.
The Red Hand? Orrak Devour of Souls? The Human Coffee Pot? Captain Mayhem? Something like that would be good.
But yer I’m game for some sabotage.
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How about the New Life Church? That’s the organization that Ted Haggard belongs to.
(Stolen…I mean copied from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Haggard)
“Theology
Haggard has stated he believes in what is known as the Third Wave of the Holy Spirit and subscribes to the concept referred to as the Five-fold ministry – beliefs often associated with the charismatic movement. He has stated that he believes that there is one, all-knowing God, and that humans were created to be with him.
Politics
In 2005, Haggard was listed by Time magazine as one of the top 25 most influential evangelicals in America. Haggard is a firm supporter of President George W. Bush, and is sometimes credited with rallying evangelicals behind Bush during the 2004 election. Author Jeff Sharlet reported in 2005 that Haggard “talks to… Bush or his advisers every Monday” and stated at that time that “no pastor in America holds more sway over the political direction of evangelicalism.” In a June 2005 Wall Street Journal article, “Ted Haggard, the head of the 30-million strong National Association of Evangelicals, joked that the only disagreement between himself and the leader of the Western world is automotive: Mr. Bush drives a Ford pickup, whereas he prefers a Chevy.”
Haggard has stated that fighting global warming is an important issue, a divisive issue among Evangelical leaders. Though he personally supported the Evangelical Climate Initiative, the NAE did not adopt a position.
Teachings on homosexuality
Despite repeatedly having homosexual relations with masseur Mike Jones, Haggard has condemned “homosexual activity.” In the documentary Jesus Camp, one scene shows a sermon where he preaches, “we don’t have to debate about what we should think about homosexual activity. It’s written in the Bible.” Although Haggard opposes same-sex marriage, he has suggested that there should be civil unions for homosexual couples.
Under Haggard’s leadership, the NAE released “For the Health of the Nation: An Evangelical Call to Civic Responsibility” in late 2004, “a document urging engagement in traditional culture war issues such as abortion and gay marriage but also poverty, education, taxes, welfare and immigration.”The NAE has stated that “homosexual activity, like adulterous relationships, is clearly con¬demned in the Scriptures.”
Haggard developed ministry efforts towards homosexuals early in his Colorado Springs ministry. He frequented gay bars and invited men to his congregation[?].”
You would also have seen him and his church on ‘The Root of All Evil’ with Mr Dawkins. http://www.newlifechurch.org/
An easy target I know, but still a good one
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@Pluto – Like George Carlin saids, caffiene is the low end of the speed spectrum.
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Have fun storming the castle! Alchemist – you have my email.
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@OEW_ True, but if I start doing lines at my desk then up defiantly out. Maybe on the day I’ve finally had it with this shitty job.
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@Pluto – The choice is yours to make. I think that your better judgement has been prevailing so far. What would a pirate do?
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If it’s long and hard, and shoots things out one end, oh baby can I handle it! bring it on! Yarrr!
And, actually, I have fired quite a few things that qualify as cannons in my day… the one damn thing I miss about the military, sniff, all the fun toys…
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@Wench Cyka – expert rated on all types of weapons. ;)
Women with weapons, almost nothing better.
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*sigh* You make me mad with all your various spelling errors. unless of course when you say “take head” your talking about blow jobs, then I’ll be first in line to get one!
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I’m prepared to take head anytime. But judgement day is as good an excuse as any.
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Does that mean all the wenches will be judged on giving head? Or that all the pirates will be judged on their proper appreciation of receiving such a wonderful offering? Cause if that is the case, both should be practicing! Ladies, there are plenty of men out there in need, Badly in need, just look at good ol’ Dubya! Bet he hasn’t had a hummer in decades! Look how much better our economy was when you prez was getting off… all those charges, yeah that’s it! Thanks a bunch Monica!
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Now, all you men out there, listen up! lying about ever having received such a grand gift is just wrong! First, a return favor is definitely in order. Also, gifts that can range anywhere from emerald-cut diamonds or, more up-to-date, moissanite, to simple hand picked wildflowers are definitely appreciated. A five dollar bill most certainly is not, unless that happens to be said madam’s trade, then that’s her business, and she will let you know beforehand.
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Personally, I hope there’s no judging that’ll be going on, unless it’s done while completely plastered, and simply involves more drinking and much laughter. Being judged on such a fine art should be either a totally private matter, or a drunken orgiastic festival without a single shred of seriousness allowed to rear its ugly head – hehe – at any point!
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@ OeW
Sir Thou’rt a Major Flirt, and therefore outrank me!
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Pluto, may i have your email so i may better plan this mass invasion?
Alchemist, would you like to get the yahoo group in on this? i’m going to get the disciples.
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@Wench Cyka
“Personally, I hope there’s no judging that’ll be going on, unless it’s done while completely plastered, and simply involves more drinking and much laughter.”.
- This judging would probably take place in Heaven, and given the most prevalent form of volcanism there, I don’t think that there’s any doubt of everybody being “completely plastered”. :)
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On another note, separating the Heavenites (um, what are people that live in Heaven called?) based on gender seems a bit unlike the FSM. And what about the lesbian Wenches? That’s not exactly a fair system for them. That being said, it sure beats being judged on one’s ability to delude oneself (christianity *cough cough*).
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hey, it’s better than “ZOMB THIS SIT SUX GHEI ASS!”
at least he had a little heart in it.
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Well, if there were judging, wouldn’t that, err, cause another form of volcanism? unless the FSM in His infinite Noodly goodness decided to dispense with the mess…
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oh, how i love hate mails the obviously shows how little the writer knows about our religion.
she doesn’t know why this religion is up (even though it’s obvious, how else did we come to this universe if it’s not a flying spaghetti monster?!)
thank you religion, for shutting people’s minds and make them scared to question their reality, just so you could stay in charge, thank you.
*
RAmen everyone!
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ops, sorry, wrong hate mail (there’s too many of them!)
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@Wench Cyka – Flirting is only half of my major talents. If I out rank you, I feel another Tail Hook scandal coming.
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I feel that you should always return favors in kind.
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@Wench Cyka
Ok, that’s a valid point. In other news, I don’t think I’ll be drinking any beer for a while. :(
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@Guy
I think you’ll find that responses are rather interchangeable when it comes to refuting the arguments of fundies.
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Happy Friday everybody!
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@ O e W is that an order to head to the pool hall, preferably already drunk and scantily clad? maybe missing a few of those nasty polished buttons?
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“Take head”
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Yes please! I did notice however that the line waiting seems to be very very long. =(
Is there more than one service staff working?
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“I have read some of the content that you have posted and to the simple minded and none believers you make a few key points.”
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Notice that the God-bothering fundis always have to deride others in an effort to prove what they believe is their superiority. They must be very insecure indeed in their own beliefs.
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@ Sx3 They are only as insecure as their deity, so it’s just nature =)
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Sigh, ya make that ritual mating call, “I think I’m, hick!, a little tipsy! Ooops! was that a few of my buttons? Oh darn, gonna have to get my uniform fixed again…”
And nothing to show for it. Oh my FSM, is there some new ritual that you have left us poor wenches unaware of? Touch me with your Noodly Appendage – oh yes, right there – and give me the wisdom!
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I’m not drunk, i’m only on the ground because … the council *hic* gave me a permit to inspect the gutters. i don’t think i can get up, but that’s ok. i’m just going to hook my tie, to this bus, and it will drag me home. i may lose my skin but i can get a new skin. from a friend who owns … a skin shop.
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Hey-don’t claim that I don’t know what I am doing. I know damn well what I am doing. Patronization isn’t for everyone…
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What about patron saints?
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@Wench Cyka – I will meet you in the pool hall, uniforms optional.
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@Wench Cyka: Spend as much ordinary time with O-e W as you want, but I hope you’ll consider meeting me somewhere on the slopes of the beer volcano, with a noodly eternity to look forward to, LOFLMAO….
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erm, is there a line forming somewhere near my spot by the volcano that I’m unaware of? cause if so, you guys should know I plan to be somewhere between the hefeweizen volcano and the Russian Vodka volcano (as if there were any other kind of vodka, pfft!) and play nice! or no taking head for you!
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@One-eyed Wonderkin Oct 5th, 2007 at 9:16 am
RE: Pluto – The choice is yours to make. I think that your better judgement has been prevailing so far. What would a pirate do?
I don’t think pirates had speed or coke, but if they did they would probably soak it in rum and drink it
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@Commodore Angryy Oct 5th, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Pluto, may I have your email so I may better plan this mass invasion?
Alchemist, would you like to get the yahoo group in on this? I’m going to get the disciples.
Yes you can its jc_searle@hotmail.co.uk. By the by, I do work for my country’s government. No fear I don’t work very hard, I just want to make you aware I’m not ready to quit just yet if you catch me.
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PS My post on the god site http://www.newliferomsey.org.uk/Forums/Messages.aspx?ThreadID=59972#new
Was deleted. Obviously they can dish it out but can’t take it.
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I can feel the fsm’s presense all around me as well, i dont know why everyone things we are mocking there god, while they are in fact mocking ours.
Be touched by his noodly appendage. raman
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Although this is old i feel the need to criticize it.
First, you said and I quote “I have read some of the content that you have posted and to the simple minded and none believers you make a few key points.” Alright, despite this sentences obvious flaws I’ll say that some Atheists or Agnostics are simple minded. There are also simple minded Christians, Islams, Zoroastrians, Jews, and so on; make a more valid point.
Next we have this little gem “I can only ask for forgiveness on your behalf because you don’t know what your doing and I pray for your enlightenment.”
Please, tell me how they do not know what they are doing? Honestly, do you really think that the FSM is an accidental object?
Enlightenment, what a funny word. If by enlightened you mean blind followers, you’ve got enough enlightened on your side.
Now to disprove this little phrase :) “NO ONE can tell me he does not exist.”
He does not exist.
I just proved you wrong, yummy.
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Hi Mr P. Don’t worry about this being an old hate mail. Taking the piss never ever gets old.
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Pluto Oct 8th, 2007 at 3:52 am
Hi Pluto ;)
“Obviously they can dish it out but can’t take it.”
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Yep!
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“Taking the piss never ever gets old.”
True too. btw Pluto do you follow any international sport? :p
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LOL… um…
ok, just 1 question, take head from who, because reading your post earlier you are implying that your GOD is the one we should take head from?!
i am unsure which of the many followings of christianity you ACTUALLY follow and would like to know how regularly people of your religeon take head from god…
lol… suffice to say at least The church of the flying spaghetti monster does not imply that their god is a prostitute of any description and as such i think it is uttrly disfgraceful that there was any movement to teach our children such a perverted and inapropriate subject in school, and maybe you too should think more carefully if a prostitute with any power would “Create a universe” (possibly to get more customers) rather than create food or drink so that they can stop the prostitution???
WTF r u on??
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I find it interesting how you said don’t insult my god. I believe in god to my friend, and I don’t think he would want to to threaten a group of people on their own site. He is not YOUR god he is everyone’s. But yes i do agree with some things you say but i think ur being a bit hypocritcal. If you want to make sense. DON’T COME HERE!
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god hugger……
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Don’t you mean “heed”, or are you in fact referring to “your” god’s head? If your god indeed has multiple heads and wants us to take one, how do we know which one to take? Will we be given instruction at the time of taking, or is it ours for the taking anytime we want? I find it exclusionary to assume that “your” god is exclusively yours. Do you have invisible friends in addition to “your” god?
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“I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do, NO ONE can tell me he does not exist. Thru personal experiences that I couldn’t have made out of by myself, I was the victor”
Can you explain HOW you feel him exactly, does he guide your hand or tell you what to say? What does the sentence starting ‘Thru personal experiences’ mean!!
Until you make yourself clear, it’s difficult to find decent answers!
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@ Timothy
What? The letter is Much clearer than the Bible!
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@Reflector Oct 15th, 2007 at 5:34 am: “…If you want to make sense. DON’T COME HERE!”
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Now THAT sheds a light on your own posts!
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@Wench Nikkiee Oct 10th, 2007 at 3:16 am
“btw Pluto do you follow any international sport? :p”
Only if the following are international sports: women’s volley ball, women’s athletics, Pro wrestling, mixed marital arts or on-line gaming?
Or porn, that international.
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@Wench Cyka
True – but at least the Bible has been through a spell-checker ;
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@Reflectoy
“I find it interesting how you said don’t insult my god. I believe in god to my friend, and I don’t think he would want to to threaten a group of people on their own site. He is not YOUR god he is everyone’s. But yes i do agree with some things you say but i think ur being a bit hypocritcal. If you want to make sense. DON’T COME HERE!”
Why do you keep coming here, reflector? Is it because you like to get ganged up on by people who use their brains and observations to reach logical conclusions? Or is it because you are genuinely trying to convert (”save”) us? If it is the second one, I must tell you that you are wasting your time. May you be touched by His Noodley Appendage,
RAmen
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Dammit! I triple checked my spelling, and I still got the first word wrong! Oh well.
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Why can’t people just accept that we are a religion and stop pushing their beliefs on us Pastafarians. I find it offensive and actually quite funny when people start talking about the end of the world and how we are all going to go to hell for what we believe in.
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@Crimsonroses42- welcome aboard
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In a handbasket, Crimson. We’re going to hell in a handbasket. It’s very exciting.
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