Im not writing this to criticze you, Im here to warn you, PLEAE DO NOT MOCK MY GOD. I have read some of the content that you have posted and to the simple minded and none believers you make a few key points. However, to believers like myself I can only ask for forgiveness on your behalf because you don’t know what your doing and I pray for your enlightenment. After running across a conversation with a co-worker I decided to visit your website, and I was immediately saddened. I just want you know that Im not successful by chance, I was supposed to be dead along time ago, sleeping in my grave, but my father heard this Sinner’s Prayer and by faith I am here today, faith in my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. Although, I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do, NO ONE can tell me he does not exist. Thru personal experiences that I couldn’t have made out of by myself, I was the victor. Im not sure if your doing this for kicks or what, to each its own. Whether this is just a publicity stunt, true belief, or what have you, I just want you to know that My father lives and in his house are many mansions…….May God Bless you and Keep you……..
They are worthless, a work of mockery; In the time of their punishment they will perish. Jeremiah 51:18
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~MS. KESHA~
Ft. Myers, FL
How the hell did Thumper and Ships Cat get out of the cages?
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Shit! This is harder than i first thought. Check this out.
“In this area, Beliefnet welcomes Christians who believe that the Bible is literally true, inerrant, and the only authority for Christian faith, and that that accepting Jesus Christ as one’s only Lord is the only way to salvation. If this describes you, you are invited to join the discussions here.
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If this does not describe you, please do not post in this area; instead, we invite you to visit our other Christian forums.
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To debate the validity of Christianity, or to criticize or debate Evangelical Christianity specifically, visit the Debate Forum (for people of all faiths) or Christian-to-Christian Debate (for Christians only).
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Want to learn more about Evangelical Christianity? Members will respond to sincere, respectful questions in Learn About Evangelical Christianity.”
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The faithful segregate us!! We don’t do it to them! This would seem to be the norm on most sites. Looks like a way to avoid direct confrontation!
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Got a good one.
http://www.parentscentre.gov.uk/forum/messageview.cfm?catid=183&threadid=30896
“Heard on the radio about the girl who’s suing her school for not letting her wear jewellery, because she’s a Christian and is claiming the ring in question is a religious symbol, just like Sikhs who have to wear a bracelet and Muslims wearing the headscarf.
I’m going to send my kids dressed as pirates, because that’s what our chosen religion – Pastafarianism – dictates the most devout followers should do. Followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster are often looked down upon and discriminated against because non-believers claim it’s a ridiculous made-up religion, so it’s especially important for us to insist on our rights.
We maintain that ‘you’ve got a nerve’, (eating the body of Christ, 1000s of angels dancing on the head of a pin, suicide bombers getting ’special’ treatment in heaven, mutilating your baby boys genit@ls because god told you to do it, believing the world was created in literally 6 days and god making fake dinosaur bones and planting them around the world to test the faithfull, believing your saviour could go conjuring tricks for real ‘Water – wine, Wine – water – just like that’…..)
Which is better – either everyone wears what they want or every wears a uniform and no exceptions?”
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Ok, got on
http://www.newliferomsey.org.uk/Forums/Messages.aspx?ThreadID=59972#new
Could only get as far as the guest book (booo!). Like with the other sites you need a logon. Apparently only Christians are allowed to discus Christianity!
A bit unfair, as we let anyone post here.
Cunts!
Good news is you can still comment on the post, so feel free to mix it up a bit! If I get a good reply from a god box I’ll post it here.
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Pluto – You want to consider a scale back on the caffiene and sugar in our diet.
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@CA – they are tricky little buggers. You may wish to send out the hunting party. I hear Wench Cyka is great with a gun and she can shoot too!
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OEW, i believe as a good wench, Cyka should be better with a cannon.
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Pluto, if you need to register and login, why not? but what we should do, is get maybe 20 of us to do it the same time. i believe it is time for a good old fashioned site pillaging and raiding.
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@CA
“but what we should do, is get maybe 20 of us to do it the same time. i believe it is time for a good old fashioned site pillaging and raiding.”
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You’ve got my email :) – I can think of a few people who might be interested.
Time for some spoof email accounts and TOR?
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@OEW-”Pluto – You want to consider a scale back on the caffeine and sugar in our diet.”
Dude I have between 5 & 10 cups of coffee a day, each with 2 sugars init.
If I was to go cold turkey…well, I may well die! Is that what you want? Cos that’s what will happen!
I also have a very boring job and post to make it look like I’m doing something. If I didn’t post and keep wandering off for coffee they would realise how pointless me sitting there twiddling my thumb’s actually is and fire me! Or worst, give me a job where I have to do something.
@CA- I concur, but I’d like a good alias. Something super villainy would be nice.
The Red Hand? Orrak Devour of Souls? The Human Coffee Pot? Captain Mayhem? Something like that would be good.
But yer I’m game for some sabotage.
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How about the New Life Church? That’s the organization that Ted Haggard belongs to.
(Stolen…I mean copied from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Haggard)
“Theology
Haggard has stated he believes in what is known as the Third Wave of the Holy Spirit and subscribes to the concept referred to as the Five-fold ministry – beliefs often associated with the charismatic movement. He has stated that he believes that there is one, all-knowing God, and that humans were created to be with him.
Politics
In 2005, Haggard was listed by Time magazine as one of the top 25 most influential evangelicals in America. Haggard is a firm supporter of President George W. Bush, and is sometimes credited with rallying evangelicals behind Bush during the 2004 election. Author Jeff Sharlet reported in 2005 that Haggard “talks to… Bush or his advisers every Monday” and stated at that time that “no pastor in America holds more sway over the political direction of evangelicalism.” In a June 2005 Wall Street Journal article, “Ted Haggard, the head of the 30-million strong National Association of Evangelicals, joked that the only disagreement between himself and the leader of the Western world is automotive: Mr. Bush drives a Ford pickup, whereas he prefers a Chevy.”
Haggard has stated that fighting global warming is an important issue, a divisive issue among Evangelical leaders. Though he personally supported the Evangelical Climate Initiative, the NAE did not adopt a position.
Teachings on homosexuality
Despite repeatedly having homosexual relations with masseur Mike Jones, Haggard has condemned “homosexual activity.” In the documentary Jesus Camp, one scene shows a sermon where he preaches, “we don’t have to debate about what we should think about homosexual activity. It’s written in the Bible.” Although Haggard opposes same-sex marriage, he has suggested that there should be civil unions for homosexual couples.
Under Haggard’s leadership, the NAE released “For the Health of the Nation: An Evangelical Call to Civic Responsibility” in late 2004, “a document urging engagement in traditional culture war issues such as abortion and gay marriage but also poverty, education, taxes, welfare and immigration.”The NAE has stated that “homosexual activity, like adulterous relationships, is clearly con¬demned in the Scriptures.”
Haggard developed ministry efforts towards homosexuals early in his Colorado Springs ministry. He frequented gay bars and invited men to his congregation[?].”
You would also have seen him and his church on ‘The Root of All Evil’ with Mr Dawkins. http://www.newlifechurch.org/
An easy target I know, but still a good one
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@Pluto – Like George Carlin saids, caffiene is the low end of the speed spectrum.
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Have fun storming the castle! Alchemist – you have my email.
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@OEW_ True, but if I start doing lines at my desk then up defiantly out. Maybe on the day I’ve finally had it with this shitty job.
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@Pluto – The choice is yours to make. I think that your better judgement has been prevailing so far. What would a pirate do?
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If it’s long and hard, and shoots things out one end, oh baby can I handle it! bring it on! Yarrr!
And, actually, I have fired quite a few things that qualify as cannons in my day… the one damn thing I miss about the military, sniff, all the fun toys…
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@Wench Cyka – expert rated on all types of weapons. ;)
Women with weapons, almost nothing better.
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*sigh* You make me mad with all your various spelling errors. unless of course when you say “take head” your talking about blow jobs, then I’ll be first in line to get one!
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I’m prepared to take head anytime. But judgement day is as good an excuse as any.
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Does that mean all the wenches will be judged on giving head? Or that all the pirates will be judged on their proper appreciation of receiving such a wonderful offering? Cause if that is the case, both should be practicing! Ladies, there are plenty of men out there in need, Badly in need, just look at good ol’ Dubya! Bet he hasn’t had a hummer in decades! Look how much better our economy was when you prez was getting off… all those charges, yeah that’s it! Thanks a bunch Monica!
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Now, all you men out there, listen up! lying about ever having received such a grand gift is just wrong! First, a return favor is definitely in order. Also, gifts that can range anywhere from emerald-cut diamonds or, more up-to-date, moissanite, to simple hand picked wildflowers are definitely appreciated. A five dollar bill most certainly is not, unless that happens to be said madam’s trade, then that’s her business, and she will let you know beforehand.
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Personally, I hope there’s no judging that’ll be going on, unless it’s done while completely plastered, and simply involves more drinking and much laughter. Being judged on such a fine art should be either a totally private matter, or a drunken orgiastic festival without a single shred of seriousness allowed to rear its ugly head – hehe – at any point!
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@ OeW
Sir Thou’rt a Major Flirt, and therefore outrank me!
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Pluto, may i have your email so i may better plan this mass invasion?
Alchemist, would you like to get the yahoo group in on this? i’m going to get the disciples.
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@Wench Cyka
“Personally, I hope there’s no judging that’ll be going on, unless it’s done while completely plastered, and simply involves more drinking and much laughter.”.
- This judging would probably take place in Heaven, and given the most prevalent form of volcanism there, I don’t think that there’s any doubt of everybody being “completely plastered”. :)
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On another note, separating the Heavenites (um, what are people that live in Heaven called?) based on gender seems a bit unlike the FSM. And what about the lesbian Wenches? That’s not exactly a fair system for them. That being said, it sure beats being judged on one’s ability to delude oneself (christianity *cough cough*).
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hey, it’s better than “ZOMB THIS SIT SUX GHEI ASS!”
at least he had a little heart in it.
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Well, if there were judging, wouldn’t that, err, cause another form of volcanism? unless the FSM in His infinite Noodly goodness decided to dispense with the mess…
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oh, how i love hate mails the obviously shows how little the writer knows about our religion.
she doesn’t know why this religion is up (even though it’s obvious, how else did we come to this universe if it’s not a flying spaghetti monster?!)
thank you religion, for shutting people’s minds and make them scared to question their reality, just so you could stay in charge, thank you.
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RAmen everyone!
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ops, sorry, wrong hate mail (there’s too many of them!)
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@Wench Cyka – Flirting is only half of my major talents. If I out rank you, I feel another Tail Hook scandal coming.
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I feel that you should always return favors in kind.
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@Wench Cyka
Ok, that’s a valid point. In other news, I don’t think I’ll be drinking any beer for a while. :(
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@Guy
I think you’ll find that responses are rather interchangeable when it comes to refuting the arguments of fundies.
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Happy Friday everybody!
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@ O e W is that an order to head to the pool hall, preferably already drunk and scantily clad? maybe missing a few of those nasty polished buttons?
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“Take head”
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Yes please! I did notice however that the line waiting seems to be very very long. =(
Is there more than one service staff working?
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“I have read some of the content that you have posted and to the simple minded and none believers you make a few key points.”
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Notice that the God-bothering fundis always have to deride others in an effort to prove what they believe is their superiority. They must be very insecure indeed in their own beliefs.
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@ Sx3 They are only as insecure as their deity, so it’s just nature =)
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Sigh, ya make that ritual mating call, “I think I’m, hick!, a little tipsy! Ooops! was that a few of my buttons? Oh darn, gonna have to get my uniform fixed again…”
And nothing to show for it. Oh my FSM, is there some new ritual that you have left us poor wenches unaware of? Touch me with your Noodly Appendage – oh yes, right there – and give me the wisdom!
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I’m not drunk, i’m only on the ground because … the council *hic* gave me a permit to inspect the gutters. i don’t think i can get up, but that’s ok. i’m just going to hook my tie, to this bus, and it will drag me home. i may lose my skin but i can get a new skin. from a friend who owns … a skin shop.
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Hey-don’t claim that I don’t know what I am doing. I know damn well what I am doing. Patronization isn’t for everyone…
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What about patron saints?
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@Wench Cyka – I will meet you in the pool hall, uniforms optional.
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@Wench Cyka: Spend as much ordinary time with O-e W as you want, but I hope you’ll consider meeting me somewhere on the slopes of the beer volcano, with a noodly eternity to look forward to, LOFLMAO….
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erm, is there a line forming somewhere near my spot by the volcano that I’m unaware of? cause if so, you guys should know I plan to be somewhere between the hefeweizen volcano and the Russian Vodka volcano (as if there were any other kind of vodka, pfft!) and play nice! or no taking head for you!
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@One-eyed Wonderkin Oct 5th, 2007 at 9:16 am
RE: Pluto – The choice is yours to make. I think that your better judgement has been prevailing so far. What would a pirate do?
I don’t think pirates had speed or coke, but if they did they would probably soak it in rum and drink it
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@Commodore Angryy Oct 5th, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Pluto, may I have your email so I may better plan this mass invasion?
Alchemist, would you like to get the yahoo group in on this? I’m going to get the disciples.
Yes you can its jc_searle@hotmail.co.uk. By the by, I do work for my country’s government. No fear I don’t work very hard, I just want to make you aware I’m not ready to quit just yet if you catch me.
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PS My post on the god site http://www.newliferomsey.org.uk/Forums/Messages.aspx?ThreadID=59972#new
Was deleted. Obviously they can dish it out but can’t take it.
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I can feel the fsm’s presense all around me as well, i dont know why everyone things we are mocking there god, while they are in fact mocking ours.
Be touched by his noodly appendage. raman
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Although this is old i feel the need to criticize it.
First, you said and I quote “I have read some of the content that you have posted and to the simple minded and none believers you make a few key points.” Alright, despite this sentences obvious flaws I’ll say that some Atheists or Agnostics are simple minded. There are also simple minded Christians, Islams, Zoroastrians, Jews, and so on; make a more valid point.
Next we have this little gem “I can only ask for forgiveness on your behalf because you don’t know what your doing and I pray for your enlightenment.”
Please, tell me how they do not know what they are doing? Honestly, do you really think that the FSM is an accidental object?
Enlightenment, what a funny word. If by enlightened you mean blind followers, you’ve got enough enlightened on your side.
Now to disprove this little phrase :) “NO ONE can tell me he does not exist.”
He does not exist.
I just proved you wrong, yummy.
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Hi Mr P. Don’t worry about this being an old hate mail. Taking the piss never ever gets old.
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Pluto Oct 8th, 2007 at 3:52 am
Hi Pluto ;)
“Obviously they can dish it out but can’t take it.”
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Yep!
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“Taking the piss never ever gets old.”
True too. btw Pluto do you follow any international sport? :p
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LOL… um…
ok, just 1 question, take head from who, because reading your post earlier you are implying that your GOD is the one we should take head from?!
i am unsure which of the many followings of christianity you ACTUALLY follow and would like to know how regularly people of your religeon take head from god…
lol… suffice to say at least The church of the flying spaghetti monster does not imply that their god is a prostitute of any description and as such i think it is uttrly disfgraceful that there was any movement to teach our children such a perverted and inapropriate subject in school, and maybe you too should think more carefully if a prostitute with any power would “Create a universe” (possibly to get more customers) rather than create food or drink so that they can stop the prostitution???
WTF r u on??
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I find it interesting how you said don’t insult my god. I believe in god to my friend, and I don’t think he would want to to threaten a group of people on their own site. He is not YOUR god he is everyone’s. But yes i do agree with some things you say but i think ur being a bit hypocritcal. If you want to make sense. DON’T COME HERE!
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god hugger……
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Don’t you mean “heed”, or are you in fact referring to “your” god’s head? If your god indeed has multiple heads and wants us to take one, how do we know which one to take? Will we be given instruction at the time of taking, or is it ours for the taking anytime we want? I find it exclusionary to assume that “your” god is exclusively yours. Do you have invisible friends in addition to “your” god?
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“I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do, NO ONE can tell me he does not exist. Thru personal experiences that I couldn’t have made out of by myself, I was the victor”
Can you explain HOW you feel him exactly, does he guide your hand or tell you what to say? What does the sentence starting ‘Thru personal experiences’ mean!!
Until you make yourself clear, it’s difficult to find decent answers!
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@ Timothy
What? The letter is Much clearer than the Bible!
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@Reflector Oct 15th, 2007 at 5:34 am: “…If you want to make sense. DON’T COME HERE!”
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Now THAT sheds a light on your own posts!
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@Wench Nikkiee Oct 10th, 2007 at 3:16 am
“btw Pluto do you follow any international sport? :p”
Only if the following are international sports: women’s volley ball, women’s athletics, Pro wrestling, mixed marital arts or on-line gaming?
Or porn, that international.
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@Wench Cyka
True – but at least the Bible has been through a spell-checker ;
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