Im not writing this to criticze you, Im here to warn you, PLEAE DO NOT MOCK MY GOD. I have read some of the content that you have posted and to the simple minded and none believers you make a few key points. However, to believers like myself I can only ask for forgiveness on your behalf because you don’t know what your doing and I pray for your enlightenment. After running across a conversation with a co-worker I decided to visit your website, and I was immediately saddened. I just want you know that Im not successful by chance, I was supposed to be dead along time ago, sleeping in my grave, but my father heard this Sinner’s Prayer and by faith I am here today, faith in my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. Although, I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do, NO ONE can tell me he does not exist. Thru personal experiences that I couldn’t have made out of by myself, I was the victor. Im not sure if your doing this for kicks or what, to each its own. Whether this is just a publicity stunt, true belief, or what have you, I just want you to know that My father lives and in his house are many mansions…….May God Bless you and Keep you……..
They are worthless, a work of mockery; In the time of their punishment they will perish. Jeremiah 51:18
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~MS. KESHA~
Ft. Myers, FL
Booo!
The only swelling in your mouth and it’s an infection!A sad day for us all.
Did you get too enthusiastic about helping the hate-mailer with his holy task?
And I’m afraid I only take cash! No checks!
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Christians are so funny. It gave me a good laugh.
Im not writing this to criticze you, Im here to warn you, PLEAE DO NOT MOCK MY GOD. I have read some of the content that you have posted and to the simple minded and none believers you make a few key points.
Who says we are?
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It is always a good idea to check your head, OEW, or get someone else to check it for you!
@Pluto – I am so ashamed :( And I have to tell you I have never yet had to pay for it!
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everybody wants to worship a self worshiping god that “loves” everybody yet he judges everybody, he gives “free will” yet everything you do is what god planned.
people don’t believe in god, they are afraid of him, they pretend to “love” him so god will send them to heaven and won’t punish them…
the worst of them pretend to be his soldiers…
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Not me Guy Ohayon – I worship Pasta! :D
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that’s why i’m a pastafarian too!
my god doesn’t scare me or threats me to do anything…
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:D
Now where did I leave that barrel of rum?……
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@ Guy: You mean like an overbearing parent? Possibly one with a big house?
@ Booty: All I can say is you get what you pay for!
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Oh and rum is not an anti-viral
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Jeebus died for our sins, right. So what I think is we should go out and sin, because we wouldn’t want him to have died in vain.
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@Pluto – little bit pernicious this morning are we? You may consider chilling out a tad…after all, we are one big happy and disfunctional family here.
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Iron Bess- It’s not morning where I am. It’s 3:30 in the afternoon and I’m pretending I’m doing work. My boss hears the keyboard going and thinks I’m such a good little boy, even though I’ve done less than Jack today. I think things have been going backwards since I started at 9. Sorry if what I say is perceived as a little malign, that’s just who I am.
And yes we should make the most of his sacrifice. When I die I want everyone I know to have an almighty piss up, and I’m sure anyone who make his own wine would agree.
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Rum is certainly an anaesthetic though – I feel loads better already!
Are you in the UK too, then Pluto?
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@Pluto – Yikes! That is one of my petpeeves. That is not ‘just who you are’, that my friend, is ‘just who you choose to be’. When people say that, it kind of drives me crazy. It’s like saying, “I have no control over what I do or say.” So they use that excuse to be either the biggest dick on the planet or the biggest pansy-ass suck hole or somewhere in between.
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I’m okay with, I feel like crap today. Or, I’m such an asshole today. Or, I’m crabby and hate all fundies. But it puts my teeth on edge whenever anyone says, “that’s just who I am.”
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So type away, lambaste idiotic, non thinking, brain washed fundies all you want. But do it because they are contented with being led around like sheep and too lazy to actually do any real thinking for themselves. But for FSM’s sake, not because that is just who you are.
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(PS) I know what you mean about going backward. I have been working on one contract since six thirty this morning and keep having to go back to the beginning and add more legaleese. And the most frustrating thing of all is that it is a piddly assed little contract worth just under a half million and I still have a gigantic one just sitting there staring at me and giving me the heebie-jeebies.
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Yer, live an work in Pompy. I do have an American Dad though, same for most of my siblings. They try to take the piss cos I don’t talk proper like what they do. If the rums not doing the trick try some Kronenburg 1664. It’s the only thing other than surrendering the French do well, and it’s a dam fine anti-depressant.
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I apologize in advance, so please don’t flame me! I know this is OT, but I can’t find anywhere to get help for this. I’m new here and I tried to register yesterday for the FSM bb. I never got the email to confirm my registration. Is it normal for it to take this long? I’m sorry for asking this here, but the only other help I found was that I should contact an administrator, but it won’t let me do that if I’m not already a registered member! I’m so frustrated, and I hope that you more experienced Pastafarians can help me out! Thanks!
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Bess- I choose to be who I am, and I am what I am. I could never choose to be anyone else unless I was faking it. And that’s just not who I am!
Dose that make a bit more sense.
I will ALLWAYS hate religion, fundamental or not.
That’s why I use the term species traitor. Because that’s what they do, they drag us further back, they wage war, they spread needless hate, they justify doing evil in the name of good and of god.
You can argue that the fanatics are the minority, but it’s a believing majority that gives them a place to hide, that makes their actions seem more acceptable in their own eyes as well as encourage those on the margins to come into the extremist fold.
Humans have achieved so much, and to see those achievements ignored, ridiculed or laid at the feet of a hateful and, according to scripture it self, evil god.
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@ Merlin
If you think atheists are persecuted, try laying down the pagan / witchcraft gaulnlet! ohohoh! you get some rich responses there! Sometimes, counting teeth, I just say polytheist, and they say wassat? and I reply you wouldn’t understand, to keep the conversation short. That’s the easiest one. Then there’s the witchcraft huh? then prove to me it’s real! arms crossed. you dumbass, just because I believe in something does not require me to enlighten your pond-scum cross-bred gene-pool arse. My absolute favorite is the type we see here a lot, but at least we can turn off our comps! While I wore a uniform, sometimes I did not even have a door I could slam in their glassy eyed faces as they continually mumble verses from their continually revised little book. I also love minding my own damn business grocery shopping, hearing is that a star of David? No, it isn’t. I try to keep walking… bluster bluh bluh.
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By the way, will the FSM make giving head not leave your jaw sore at the end? I mean, it’s fun and all, and hey, I’ve been told I’m great at it, but the TMJ at the end is just no fun, specially if ya do it long enough ta lose yer buzz!!! (ok, so maybe that’s every guy’s dream… but it’s kinda hard to logistically drink and give head at the same time, heh)
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Wench Cyka – Have you considered using a drip with vodka in it? Leaves hands and head free! Just a thought.
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@perkyblue – I don’t know – I don’t post on the forum – sorry – hang around and keep asking though :)
good point Cyka – I hate that too – do you get an itchy nose as well? What is *that* all about?? ;)
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Well, If you’re good enough, you can usually free up one hand without them noitcing too much, therefore scratching the nose is no biggie. Usually if you can manage a pose that leaves them something to play with while you’re at it, well… you get the idea!
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@Pluto – totally agree with you on all fronts. ALL religion is crap, evil and just a bunch of hooey. It is dragging down mankind and may even possibly be the end of everyone. Religion nuts, moderates or total wack-job fundies are typically two faced, spreading love and peace and harmony to all…unless you don’t believe what they believe. Then look out! Fear, hatred, malice, xenophobia, murder, torture and all kinds of other fun things are in store for the unwary.
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In my world god is not evil, people are evil, because god does not exist.
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Good one!
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Eh, in my world, people have more say in things than they really think they do. Remember, most people only use about 10% of their brains, and that’s even the best of us. To me, all the gods I deal with are a part of that greater untapped source, to be dealt with, bargained with, but not worshipped. I do believe in an ultimate deity, and hell, the FSM fits the bill nicely, but as I see it, any deity busy enough to go off creating universes and galaxies and bacteria and such is waaaay to damn busy to worry about what I had for dinner on a particular day of the week, whether I had a ceremony before I had sex, or even whether or not I was a good person. I do believe in an afterlife, and even reincarnation, but I believe that if anyone’s going to judge me and decide my fate, it’ll be me. After all, who’s your truly worst and most honest critic, deep down? That’s what has me laughing myself to death. The thought that what if I’m the one who’s right? Can you imagine all those good little christians who were total dicks to everyone else in the world in the name of jebus, then find out he didn’t forgive them for it, now they have to face their own conscience for what they did all their lives?? I think that’s why they’re so rabid about websites like this one!
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@Wench Cyka – You should see the looks on the faces when a guy is a witch. I try to keep it to myself, even here. The arguments over proof that gods or “supernatural” energies exsist get old. Until I use witch craft to get them laid, they will think it is not real.
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I find that I muff dive better when I am sober. I agree that after a good session the jaw and tongue are pretty sore. What can I say, I am a vagitarian.
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Oh, honey, where were you before I had kids?!?
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Exactly Bess. The problem is, as you touched on earlier, it can start to bring out the worst in non-believers like me. When I was a boy (of about 10) I concluded on my own that the whole thing was a load of crap. I saw the damage it had done throughout history and concluded its practice was mostly evil via the actions of those who follow. There are same truly nasty thing in the bible that the believers consider to be examples of how to live a good life.
They would look at me and see me as evil because I question everything and, in particular, I question them directly (I’ve been called all sorts of things once they hit their own logical wall and, predictably, get angry).
As time went on I saw that the evil was still going on, It was just more insidius. This planted the seed of hate which became a burning rage.
Those who know me know me to be someone who try’s to do the right thing. I might not always get it right, but I still try. To me that’s what being a good human is about.
I get so into the subject I have been labelled an “Atheist Fundamentalist” a title I now wear with honour.
A friend of mine was convinced that we were put here by aliens. I kept asking him; Why? How? I wanted to know his reasoning, not to just prove him wrong. He just said it made sense. Same 2 questions over and over. Anyway he would get frustrated at me cos he had no answer, and would question me on things I know, then go on Wikipedia to try and prove me wrong. This would always fail of cores, so I just told him he was a Scientologist. After he looked that one up he spent 2 weeks in bed with server depression. I love my friends, but would happily do it again because it makes them think and question. And in the end that’s the only way we get anywhere.
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@Wench Cyka – I was out working on my techniques. Kids are not an issue, is there a husband to go with the kids?
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Whenever I hear someone is planning to pray for me I activate my Jesus Shield ™. If they want to use their tricolored pasta magic on me, I encase myself in an invisible teflon coated bubble. Their prayer arrows bounce right off. I don’t take too kindly to deities whom I am not intimate with invading my personal space.
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? where did the witch-orall sex bit come from?
Hmmm…Just had a good idea for a porn-o.
If you 2 are witches then you must have seen it work, yes?
So I’ll not ask the normal how an why, but insteed ask when and what?
When did you get, how can I put it, the experiance that made up your mind and what was it?
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An ex, but twin little uns at the moment, so I am one busy momma! (3 month old boys!)
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@ OEW you give up on live chat after one check??
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Wench Cyka – I have two daughters (5 and almost 3) and an ex, so I can understand somewhat. I hope that you are getting help from family and friends.
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@Pluto – I’m with you, I’m kinda creeped out about the witch oral sex thing. Can live without it here.
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@WC & OEW – Wench you sound like you are talking about the whole Law of Attraction thing…sort of. I absolutley believe in some of those ideas. Like Carl Sagan said, we are all of us made of star stuff. At the most basic levels everything is energy. I also believe that the mind is a powerful thing, much more so than your average computer or your super computer. We bring into existence what we want in this world, we also bring into existence what we don’t want. But why does it have to be about the witch thing? Isn’t that a bit of a cop out?
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Isn’t it a bit arrogant to throw out thousands of years of research just because they hadn’t developed the modern “scientific method?” Today, “modern” medicine is “discovering” more and more of the old wives’ tales and herbal cures actually – what a shocker! – work! Gee, maybe thousands of years of testing something might have a little bit of merit even if “enlightened” scientific minds didn’t have their noses stuck in it. That’s just as arrogant and closed-minded as the christians (who have the largest witchcraft library in the world: I’d give my left tit for a free pass into the Vatican library!) Now tell me, do you think that every single group of humans that have gathered around a fire would develop some of the same damn things if they didn’t have some spark of merit? I am not saying that every moon-eyed idiot who claims to be a wiccan and stares at the moon receiveing “messages” should be heeded. Hell, I adamantly refuse the title wiccan for the very reason that most of them are so full of shite that the only magic they can perform is to put one foot in front of the other and manage to move forward. I use the term witch because it is universally recognised. I do not claim to know the source of the energies I work with, nor do I care. All I care about is that they work to MY satisfaction, and for those that I am called upon (not by you, nor any other human being) to help. I know when I am called to help someone, I feel it. Sometimes I want to, sometimes I don’t. I put myself out there and claim my craft instead of quietly practicing for the very reason that some of those that I need to help have to come to me.
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If you see it as a cop out to call it witchcraft when that’s what it’s been called since language was invented, so be it, then it’s a cop out to you. When, in about another 5000 years or so, science catches up to it and renames it, I guess I’ll change.
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@Wench Cyka –
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Main Entry: 1witch
Pronunciation: ‘wich
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English wicche, from Old English wicca, masculine, wizard & wicce, feminine, witch; akin to Middle High German wicken to bewitch, Old English wigle divination, and perhaps to Old High German wIh holy — more at VICTIM
1 : one that is credited with usually malignant supernatural powers; especially : a woman practicing usually black witchcraft often with the aid of a devil or familiar : SORCERESS — compare WARLOCK
2 : an ugly old woman : HAG etc.
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This is what you are claiming to be? Based on your last post I would say not.
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So what exactly is it that you do, which makes you call yourself a witch?
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Well said, Wench Cyka.
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@Pluto – I have experienced a number of things that resulted in my belief in the “mystical.” It has allowed me to tap energies that have allowed me to do things like run further and farther than I thought possible in order to help a friend. Yes, martial arts utilizes some of the same techniques that I utilize. As Wench Cyka described, several herbal remedies have been proven to be very effective.
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The world is a big place and there is a lot to learn.
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@IB – who wrote the definitions you provided?
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@IB – I am not wiccan, but for lack of a better term I use witch for myself when describing myself.
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@ OEW I’m betting a xian dictionary writer wrote that def. Certainly has that slant.
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Since there is no thread for contacting Senator Vitter, I thought I would share this here. I sent the following e-mail today.
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“Senator Vitter,
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It is with great interest that I noticed your recent efforts to fund groups motivated to counter the vile theory of evolution. Being the supreme creator of the universe I have been naturally vexed by my creation’s insistence on denying my existence.
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While it is true that I actively work to suppress any physical evidence of my existence and thwart any efforts to divine my nature, that is no excuse for people to deny my obvious work! Do you know how hard it is to create an entire universe? Well, of course you don’t, but let me tell you, it’s down right taxing! (Like the pun? And they say supreme beings have no sense of humor. Ha!)
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So let me get to the point. I am writing this to urge you to make sure that the theory of FSM is included in any efforts to counter the theory of Darweenie-ism (See? Still funny!) with the theory of Intelligent Design. BTW, thank-you for the “intelligent” part. It was rather brilliant, wasn’t it?
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I’m certain you wouldn’t advocate any given creation theory over another. That would be wrong. I simply want to make certain that when these groups press for alternate theories to evilution, they are careful to include all theories. To this end, I encourage you to visit http://www.venganza.org and learn about me and my Intelligent Design story.
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May you be touched by My Noodly Appendage,
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-The Flying Spaghetti Monster
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Disclaimer: No information in this letter constitutes proof of my existence. Should anyone claim that I exist, I will deny it vehemently. However, the THEORY of my existence is just as valid as any other theory. Everything is a theory, so all theories are equal. Don’t allow science to be distracted with silly things like evidence or the lack there of.”
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OEJ, Ship’s Navigator
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Awww, just when this was starting to get interesting…
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Witch! She’s a witch!
She turned me into a newt!
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Hey! you got better!
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*Wabbit stands on street corner with bell and placard stating, “the end is nigh”*
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I saw the thread and immediately clapped my little paws with glee thinking we had an apocalyptic Revelation type fundy turn up…how disappointing…I shall have to take “head” elsewhere…
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*wabbit somberly wanders off ringing bell*
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Morning Thumper :) Eng v Oz soon – think I’ll keep a low profile after that match.
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OEW – when you talk about witchcraft do you mean the philosophy (holistic, natural etc) or the theology behind it?
I’ve little doubt that the witches of *ye olde days* (european) were skilled in herbs and rudimentary medicine (esp – obstetrics).
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I’m sure there is more to life than what we know at present but magic (even the Gardener type of Wicca) is just another name for a miracle.
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One day we’ll understand the mechanisms behind these miracles.
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Alchemist – I tend toward the philosophy, but the theology behind is is obiviously wrapped in it a bit. I think of things a focus points to help me visualize what I am doing.
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What you call it does make a differnce, sort of like invisible friend or god.
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Take HEED, the day of Rotini is near
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I’m not writing this to warn you, I’m here to criticize you, PLEASE DO NOT MOCK MY FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER. I have read some of the content that you have posted and to the simple minded and NON believers you make a few silly points and many spelling and grammatical errors. However, to believers like myself I can only ask for forgiveness on your behalf because you don’t know what YOU ARE doing and I pray for your pasta-salvation. After running across a conversation with a co-worker I decided to visit your comment, and I was immediately saddened. I just want you TO know that I’m not a Pastafarian by chance, I was supposed to be dead along time ago, sleeping in my grave, but my Flying Spaghetti Monster heard this Pirate’s Prayer and by the graceful touch of a noodly appendage I am here today: a noodly appendage of my Creator FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER. Although, I have never seen him, I can feel his noodly touch all around me, in everything I do, NO ONE can tell me he does not exist. THROUGH personal experiences that I couldn’t have made UP by myself, I was the Pirate Captain. I’m not sure if YOU MADE this comment for kicks or what, to each HIS own. Whether this comment is just a publicity stunt, true belief, or what have you, I just want you to know that My Cavatelli Creator lives and in his house are the Stripper Factory and Beer Volcano…… May FSM touch you with his noodly appendage……
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Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Isaiah 5:20
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~Cap’nUberbob~
Earth, 3rd Planet, Sol System, Orion Spur of the Milky Way Galaxy
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RAmen! and YARRRR!
The greatest thing I love about the FSM is that he doesn’t give ya any BS about how he’s the only god in the school yard, dammit, and he’ll take away all your strippers if you even think about thinkin otherwise!
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RAmen!
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O-e W
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Believe me – I’m not having a go at you here – I’m genuinely interested.
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Do you believe in a “Collective Consciousness”? That’s always interested me – Gestalt’s “the whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts” thing.
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Regarding magic – paranormal or psychology?
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I’m sure you know my views on homoeopathy – how does so called *sympathetic magic* differ?
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