Im not writing this to criticze you, Im here to warn you, PLEAE DO NOT MOCK MY GOD. I have read some of the content that you have posted and to the simple minded and none believers you make a few key points. However, to believers like myself I can only ask for forgiveness on your behalf because you don’t know what your doing and I pray for your enlightenment. After running across a conversation with a co-worker I decided to visit your website, and I was immediately saddened. I just want you know that Im not successful by chance, I was supposed to be dead along time ago, sleeping in my grave, but my father heard this Sinner’s Prayer and by faith I am here today, faith in my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. Although, I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do, NO ONE can tell me he does not exist. Thru personal experiences that I couldn’t have made out of by myself, I was the victor. Im not sure if your doing this for kicks or what, to each its own. Whether this is just a publicity stunt, true belief, or what have you, I just want you to know that My father lives and in his house are many mansions…….May God Bless you and Keep you……..
They are worthless, a work of mockery; In the time of their punishment they will perish. Jeremiah 51:18
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~MS. KESHA~
Ft. Myers, FL
“Although, I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me…”
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You must be thinking of air.
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Do you mean “take heed”?
Obviously you don’t. Nobody would leave such a massive mistake on an E-mail that they know will be taking heavy criticism. So you must have meant for me to “take head”, leaving me with two alternatives…
1: It’s some kind of offer (in which case I sincerely hope that “MS.” is a typo and you meant “Ms.” with a lower case “s”, thus making you female).
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2: It has something to do with the day of judgment (no “e”) and you are giving me advise on what to do in the stripper factory. Sadly, I am a bit too young to have a great likelihood of going there soon (unless I anger a wench a bit too close to a frying pan…).
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Either way, my response is a polite “no thanks” because I don’t want to drive for about 30 hours (first case) and I don’t think fundies really know the best way to approach strippers (admittedly some know how to approach small boys, but that’s not relevant here).
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Eh, the whole time I believed in that tripe my grandmothers fed me, my ass got raped regularly. When I finally said enough of this shite, said f@ck Jesus, and tried to kill myself, I couldn’t, and believe me, I REALLY should have succeeded. If that’s the god you’re referring to, you can keep him. He never did me any favors. The whole “he works in mysterious ways crap don’t cut it when those mysterious ways include a 4 year old getting raped. And may your god keep you and keep his filthy hands off me, thanks
Yarrrr!
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Fourth post! A record for me.
RAmen.
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The original hatemail is the usual gobshite.
Open your mind oh deluded one. Please read Dawkins, Hitchens et al and then come back with a rational argument.
There is as much evidence for the FSM as there is for any other god that man has created. Don’t get me started on your beloved Jesus. I gave a long response to another deluded one on the historical existence of Jesus (or not as the case may be) and quite frankly I can’t be arsed giving it again.
RAmen
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Wow, Bronze!!!
Something good coming from a crappy migraine day! Thanks, fundie! I find it amusing about the whole shepherd and his flock theme running throughout christianity, since sheep are pretty much helpless. I have not felt helpless a single day of my life since I decided to rinse all those suds out of my brain and think for myself, search around, and find my ture religious path. Many who post here adamantly have no religious path, and that’s cool too, but at least they gave it a split second’s thought instead of sticking out their brains like a baby bird’s beak when momma comes by and swallowing whole any slimy thing she happens to pull out of the dirt.
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So, since you seem to wish to chum our waters so fervently, I have a gauntlet to lay before you. I dare you to actually think for yourself! Ask yourself why you believe what you do. Is it really your choice, or did someone in your family shove you into a class on Sundays when you were too young to defend your mind with logic and reason? If so, please, for five minutes, honestly use it now, I dare you!
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RAmen!
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@Wench Cyka
Like the post. Unfortunately the whole basis of relgious belief is not to think but to believe what one is told, even if it involves ludicrous propositions. We can only live in hope that the mind can be opened.
RAmen.
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“So, since you seem to wish to chum our waters so fervently, I have a gauntlet to lay before you. I dare you to actually think for yourself!”
I tried to insert this into a xian, but it gave a message: error, thinking not included with christianity.
““Although, I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me…”
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You must be thinking of air.”
brilliant, I love it.
ohh and 1 thing
“I just want you to know that My father lives and in his house are many mansions”
does this mean that your dad has more then 1 house, or that there’s a house inside his house??? Ohh and if you’re dad’s stupid enough to put mansions in his house, well I can see why you are so stupid.
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@ Ms. Kesha – I ususally don’t worry about grammar and writing but I need to point out that the abbreviation of “I am” is I’m not Im. Also, “you are” is abbreviated as “you’re” not your.
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I’m not writing this to criticize you; I’m here to warn you, PLEASE DO NOT MOCK THE FSM. I have read the content that you have posted on this site and you make a few dopey points. However, to believers like myself I can only ask for you to reconsider your fantasy. After reading your post, I was immediately saddened. I just want you know that I’m not successful by chance, I studied and learned fact from fantasy. Although, I have never seen the FSM, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do; NO ONE can tell me he does not exist. I’m not sure if you posted your message for kicks or out of malice. I just want you to know that I do not share your fantasy. May you be touched by the Noodle.
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It is not your little God who is responsible for your good fortune, and it is not him that you feel….that is the FSM. You acknowledge his presence, you feel his influence on your life, yet you fervently deny him. You accredit false gods for the work of his Celestial Noodly appendage, and that is nothing but a grave insult to the loving, and True Creator of all we know. He so lovingly attempts to caress you, and bathe you in his glorious sauce, and you say that it is not He who you feel in your heart!
Shame on you! Shame! You are fortunate that the Glorious FSM loves people, regardless of what they think of him…(unlike certain other, less reputable deities of other religions….)
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Are you sure that’s not noodly appendages you feel all around you? Seriously, feel that again. If it’s big, round, and noodly, that’s the FSM.
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@ihatemyspace
“it’s big, round, and noodly”
So much innuendo, so little time!
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@MS. KESHA (all caps)
“Although, I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do, NO ONE can tell me he does not exist.”
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He does not exist.
Oops, I just proved you wrong, my bad.
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I need no forgiveness from you or any fundie: my lack of gullibility vis-a-vis your silly superstitions is no transgression, against you or against your imaginary friend.
Religious zeal is the antithesis of enlightenment. The day I became enlightened was the day I started questioning the validity of what the Catholic Church was teaching me.
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“They are worthless, a work of mockery; In the time of their punishment they will perish. Jeremiah 51:18″
This Jeremiah chappy was a bit of a misery guts wasn’t he? Talk about being the life and soul of the party!
You say “NO ONE can tell me he does not exist” Very true. Just as you cannot tell us the FSM does not exist.
You have every right to your belief, as we have the right to ours. I am sincerly glad you get something out of Christianity.
You say “My father lives and in his house are many mansions” Really? But I bet the heating bill costs a bit. I’ve got a mate who does roof and loft insulations. I can get you his number if you like?
‘
To be honest if your god is as all powerful, all knowing, and created everything. Surely he has a sense of humour?
I know the FSM does. Why else would he have created Carry On films?
‘
Ramen
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“I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do”
Have you thought about taking out a restraining order?
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Wowsers. Speaking of mockery, Ms. Kesha: You are one of the finest examples of why its just too damn easy to make fun of your belief system, such as it is, and why I think Bob came up with the Church of The FSM in the first place. Well, that and that whole responding to the creationists bit. And because you went through a rough patch and yet refuse to take responsibility for making it out the other side isn’t porof of god. It is proof that you are stronger than you think you are. You just don’t want the burden of that responsibility.
And just FYI fundie, I can think of no greater offense than some loon like you asking your version of Santa Claus for forgiveness on my behalf. So I counter with my own:
May the noodle of enlightenment one day bless you and keep you, and may your pasta always be fresh and starch-free.
Ramen.
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Why are you happy that you lived? If you truly believed in your God, wouldn’t you want to die so you could join him in Heaven? I guess not, seeing as your Heaven has no beer volcanoes or stripper factories. Anyway, I pray to his Noodliness for YOUR forgiveness. May you be touched by His noodly appendage, and may He teach you to spell.
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RAmen.
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Take head? Sure! Everybody loves head!
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@ Ms Kesha – They are worthless, a work of mockery; In the time of their punishment they will perish. Jeremiah 51:18
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Why is it that you xians feel obligated to go around preaching all that ‘forgive them lord’ crap and then threaten people? Why are you so insecure about your faith? Why is it such a threat to your religion that others do not believe what you believe that you have to threaten them with ‘punishment and death’?
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Could it be because you are a little miffed that you are buying into the hocus-pocus crap and are upset that not everyone does and you don’t want to look like a knob?
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Unlike OEW, I am here to critize you. Have a look around you and see that you are surrounded by people, trees, buildings, hills, wind, grass, cars, animals…not invisible sky fairies. People get cured everyday and not by any god(s). Maybe next time you break your arm or leg you should give god a week to heal you and if he doesn’t try a doctor. Then compare who did the better job.
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“I pray for your Enlightenment”
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Without getting into your strange ideas about enlightenment, let’s assume all of the following to be true.
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1. This God dude of yours exist.
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2. He can hear your prayers.
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3. He cares about what you have to say.
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4. He decides to act appon it.
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5. He has the ability to come out of the sky, or whatever, enter my brain, violate it by rearranging my axions and synapses and such so that my beliefs are more agreeable to you.
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Hopefully at least one of those things is wrong because I realy do not want this to happen. I’m not to worried.
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Alright, this just tears it!
You, my good sir, are a product of religious propaganda. First off this website is here as a community, it’s for those of whom who feel that every single other religion is corrupt, but still have a shred of hope that there possibly is a God, even if he is a flying spaghetti monster (or at least it is for me). Secondly I have no idea what ailment almost put u in ur grave, but I’ve had a similar experience, and what I can tell u is that science, and perhaps only science, was what saved me. Thirdly, it’s been the brink of judgment day for thousands of years. btw we’re not mocking ur God, we’re only pointing out the idiotcy of people who follow every letter of a bible, a book which I may point out, was made 2000 years ago, and was based on many superstitions before science could explain anything. Therefore ur religion might not be wrong, but the old perception of it most probably was.
The always ranting,
Logan
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“Im not writing this to criticze you, Im here to warn you”
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Funny (sometimes) and sad (at those same times actually) how fundies play with words and language. I’m not talking about spelling, grammar and syntax mistakes (plenty of them, mostly), but about the way they use the meaning of words. Could they have a damaged semantic brain cell sitting next to the brain cell they use in daily life? Whatever they say, or whatever you reply, they turn words inside out (and outside in again if necessary), always turning the conversation in a direction that suits them. Plenty of examples of that here:
http://www.inthepursuitofgod.com/forum/miscellaneous-topics/6409-creation-museum-3.html#post85905
A damaged brain cell, I tell you…
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@All Wenches & Pirates
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Dawkins invades xian fundie forum:
http://www.inthepursuitofgod.com/forum/miscellaneous-topics/6425-god-delusion.html#post85898
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I only pray that the OP will see the noodly light :-D
Heh, I need not forgiveness, for I have done nothing wrong. By some religious standart everybody on the world has done something wrong, so I’ll ignore that part of the list that says “Thou shalt not enjoyeth sexeth, for thousht will goest to hellest”.
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I am not sure this one is real. The take head line is just too obvious to be unintentional.
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You’re perfectly entitled to your own opinion.
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Fortunately for the rest of the world, so are we. MAY HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE TOUCH YOU BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
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RAmen.
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Take head? Whose?
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@Dutch Pasta Guy (and other interested Pastas :)
Have you seen this blog for the movie: Expelled: No Intelligence allowed. (Ben Stein)
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http://expelledthemovie.com/blog/2007/08/21/bens-blog/.
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There are a lot of them and I haven’t read through all the replies yet.
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Flicking through the replies there I see a lot of posts containing links to the Talk Origins website(:))
Good stuff! :))))
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Hi Nikkiee,
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Time for me to get some sleep almost. But we are on the same day now :)
I had seen that movie earlier, in a piece where Dawkins writes he was invited to be interviewed for it, not knowing they were creationists. I don’t know if Dawkins said much unsound, but it seems they managed to trip him up a bit.
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You really should take a look at the movie blog site DPG….makes the BBC seem tame :(
Lots of quite serious commentators from both sides posting there. Quite a few familiar poster’s names too.
1711 comments so far….. I’ve only just started reading through them.
Lots of heat and I think it’s going to run for some time to come.
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And thanks to Lilith for initially posting the movie blog link.
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Hm… by co-worker do you mean Kindergarten classmate, because last I checked most of us can reed and rite reel gud n such. I really do hope you find your way to His Noodliness, because if you don’t I’m afraid you’ll be drinking stale beer for all of eternity, and let’s not get started on the strippers…
RAmen
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‘your’ is the possessive form of the pronoun ‘you’. Jesus hasn’t helped you much with grammar, has he? The correct contraction for ‘you are’ is ‘you’re’.
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God and Jesus clearly haven’t helped you in your English lessons. I suggest you turn to the FSM for guidance in education. As the Warranty states, if you’re dissatisfied, your old religion will probably take you back.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Unlimited Warrantys
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One time in philosophy class, we happened to touch upon the subject of atheism. We were informed by the teacher that apparently atheists are mildy persecuted in the states(I live in Canada), and I have come to realize that that is true, even in Canada. It is easier for someone to say “I am a Christian than I am an Atheist.” Hell, nobody minds other religions, but everyone has a bone to pick with lack of spirituality…
I find that while atheists criticize religion in a polite and analytical way (for the most part), religious people are horribly slanderous about athiests. My own Christian friends try to stick thorns in athiests, though they do not succeed. Alas is the world we live in…
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@St John
“Saint of Unlimited Warrantys”
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The irony is killing me!
RAmen
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@Pete
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I, er, um, meant to do that. Yeah… heh.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Unlimited Warranties On Unlimited Warrantys
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So much to say, so little attention span.
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“I’m not writing this to criticize you, I’m here to warn you: please do not mock my god.”
-In the very content of this letter , you are mocking ours. Why not return the favor? When Jeebus said to turn the other cheek, he was talking about you, not the people you are talking to.
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“I have read some of the content that you have posted, and to the simple minded and nonbelievers you make a few key points. However, to believers like myself I can only ask for forgiveness on your behalf because you don’t know what your doing and I pray for your enlightenment.”
-I’m grateful for your concern for our enlightenment, and I guess your prayers reached the FSM. I used to pray(passively) to the horribly illogical Christian god, but then I was enlightened and found his Holy Noodlyness. Why would you bother to pray for our forgiveness, when all evidence shows that prayers to your sky daddy fall on deaf ears?
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“After running across a conversation with a co-worker I decided to visit your website, and I was immediately saddened.”
-Could you be a bit more specific? Were you saddened that you had lived in ignorance of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Saddened that fundies don’t want to give equal opportunity to our theory? We simple minded nonbelievers can’t understand such subtlety.
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“I just want you know that I’m not successful by chance, I was supposed to be dead along time ago, sleeping in my grave, but my father heard this Sinner’s Prayer and by faith I am here today, faith in my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ.”
-You’re successful? Are the only two states success and death? What do you mean when you say you should have been dead? You are leaving out several vital details. Assuming you went through some illness: did you ever consider that maybe it was medical technology, and not faith, which kept you from dying?
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“Although, I have never seen him, I can feel him all around me, in everything I do,”
-As I feel the FSM; maybe you are merely confusing our Noodly Lord with some stange bearded man in the clouds suffering through an identity crisis.
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“NO ONE can tell me he does not exist.”
-He doesn’t exist. There, I said it. You can’t tell me what I can and can’t tell you.
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“Through personal experiences that I couldn’t have made out of by myself, I was the victor.”
-Or maybe faith just instilled a placebo effect, giving you more fortitude than you thought you had. Or you’re just exaggerating.
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“I’m not sure if your doing this for kicks or what, to each its own.”
-We’re merely informing the world of our beliefs, which are just as valid as yours , if not more so.
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“Whether this is just a publicity stunt, true belief, or what have you, I just want you to know that My father lives and in his house are many mansions…….May God Bless you and Keep you……..”
-Sure… you’re not the first one online to say that you have a rich dad.
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“They are worthless, a work of mockery; In the time of their punishment they will perish. Jeremiah 51:18″
-Who’s to say that your religion isn’t a mockery of ours?
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“~MS. KESHA~
Ft. Myers, FL”
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Crap, I thought there were relatively few of you guys here.
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That should cover most of it.
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Gotta love the fundies. Why do they try to be threatening if someone has the audacity to ‘MOCK THEIR GOD’? Do they beleive their god is so sensitive he can’t take a bit of criticism? What sort of a god makes average people become so aggro? Why assume we don’t understand what we are doing? Because they have closed their minds to any other possible explanation for what they blindly beleive. Thank god (that’s mine, not yours) the FSM is more passionate and caring of his followers. He doesn’t care if you worship other gods, he couldn’t give a toss if you go to church, he’s certainly not gonna tell you to go into a little dark room and tell some weirdo in a dress everything you’ve done wrong lately.
As we move thru the ages religions come and go… as we understand more about the universe we realise we don’t have to be submissive to a sun god or a moon god or to a jealous and controlling god like the one the xians and muslims are so fanatical about. We realise that someday we’ll understand the truth about HOW we got here and maybe there just isn’t a WHY. Maybe one day we might learn that the FSM wasn’t there in the beginning, but until we know for sure who can say what really happened. Certainly not a bunch of strangoids writing a book for their own misguided reasons (the bible). In the mean time why not just be happy being? Praise be to monster!
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Jean Bart
Oct 1st, 2007 at 2:34 pm
@All Wenches & Pirates
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Dawkins invades xian fundie forum:
http://www.inthepursuitofgod.com/forum/miscellaneous-topics/6425-god-delusion.html#post85898
*
Wow, nice work :P
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From that title, I was hoping the strippers were coming for the big dinner in the sky :(
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Damn fundies getting my hopes up…
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‘lo all, by the way. How goes the good fight?
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@Jean Bart Oct 1st, 2007 at 2:34 pm
“Dawkins invades xian fundie forum:
http://www.inthepursuitofgod.com/forum/miscellaneous-topics/6425-god-delusion.html#post85898
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Red Dutch said it.
Hehehehehehe…
RAmen
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Hi Jingles :))
Seems to be a few of them out and about again. Maybe a seasonal thing? Could be a birthday coming up or something. Maybe they’re out celebrating a new book or a movie :p
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Noodle Nut: Considering what their god has done he should be prepared for some criticism.
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Funny thing: The reaction of a fundie to some scientific evidence pointing to the fact that there’s no god/the bible is wrong is usually that “God’s just testing our faith by planting false evidence!”. Funny thing is that a few thousand years ago he had no problem killing all the firstborn, later, after changing his mind apparently, he did another presentation, and then again after another change of mind, he done it again!
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I’d suggest that asking for forgiveness on *my* behalf might get you Told Off.
Just a thought.
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Really not one to quibble, but in my case it should be “give head”.
And I will, I promise!
Oh, such a laugh these fundies – throw a frying pan at them Lilith – you’re nearest!
Hi everyone – nice to see you joining in again Jingles :)
And always nice to see Pixel, defender of the wenches.
And St John of course :D
got to go rescue my dinner…pasta of course!
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Interesting that once again some cunt wants to change people’s minds without even attempting to make a logical argument. Instead they just repeat the same old quotes and expect us to believe them because they say so.
You were in a life threatening position and God saw you through it? I take it no-one else helped you at all? No doctors and none of your family? I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t turn out for you, if you were my kid I’d disown you for being an idiot. Plus that big house of your dads must keep him awfully busy.
You’re not successful by chance? No nether am I, but my achievements are my own, not gods. If he dose exist and helps people achieve success, isn’t that a bit of a cheat to those that actually try. You have told us that nothing you have done can be credited to you, so you’re like a spoilt rich kid who works for his dads company and therefore can never be fired no matter how shit you are?
And considering all you have to say, you are shit. You offer no proof and your examples are inadequate at best.
When you can use reasoning and logic you can come back for another go. But of course if you were capable of that you wouldn’t be posting hate mail, you’d be taking the piss with the rest of us.
(Anyone who’s read any of my posts will know how I feel about religion in general so I’ll just close by saying…)
Fuck you species traitor!!
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PS Booty? Where dose the Q start?
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Hahaha!
Not sure today is a good day, Pluto!
I have a virus :(
Would you take a rain check?
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Booty – are you tellin Pluto to check his head?
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