I’ve never been one to bash other people’s religions, but …

Published September 17th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

I’ve never been one to bash other people’s religions, but I just think that what you have started is ridiculous. As someone else on the site said, pasta wasn’t created until the 1600′s, how could a flying spaghetti monster create the world, when spaghetti wasn’t even created yet? And about that Tibetan painting, it’s not your Spaghetti Monster. It’s bearded man.

It’s just so silly and I can’t beleive you even bother. I am just so vexed right now that you preach these blatant lies. I’m not trying to force Catholicism on you or anyone, because I’m NOT CATHOLIC. I actually choose not to spend my time depending on a ficticious “higher being”, especially not a “god” that I eat periodically. You have to stop this, you need to find some other way to get your kicks, and go to school or something, get a good job, and forget about this silly business.

-Chelsey



174 Responses to “I’ve never been one to bash other people’s religions, but …”

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  1. bbbrrr_the_Shivering_Pirate says:

    I have a question. Isn’t all religion technically “blatant lies” as you call them? So why do you pick on us? e aren’t the only people spreading “blatant lies”and I do not try and force this upon anyone. I realize you say that you aren’t one to bash other religions, so why did you choose us? Honestly, while you may see it as “ridiculous,” other (always have and always will) disagree.

    And by the way, eating pasta is one of the highest forms of worship to The FSM.

    RAmen

  2. Etay says:

    For crying out loud, get it right, someone!
    The pasta that you eat [i]is not[/i] the FSM. He merely uses the appearance that best suits his character.
    Jebus Chiste.

  3. Etay says:

    Argh. Forgot this uses HTML, not BBCode…

  4. Peter Popoff says:

    @ Chelsey,
    I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause.

  5. Jean Bart says:

    So the penultimate post was called “Why pick Christians?”, and in this one a non-Catholic doesn’t try to force Catholicism on us, but only tries to tell us something about the age of pasta.
    .
    Possible conclusion: reading will be an endangered art soon, and the world is waiting for a literal messiah who will teach the people to read again.
    .
    “It’s just so silly and I can’t beleive you even bother.”
    .
    Neither can I believe that Bobby H. bothers to put this silly letter on the site… but we WERE asking for posts with open comments section, weren’t we?

  6. Iron Bess says:

    @Chelsey, you should look up sarcasm up in the dictionary. I believe it may help your plight.

  7. Peter Popoff says:

    Hi JB.
    I just don’t understand what either of these posts have to do with Santa Clause?

  8. Icecream says:

    “I’ve never been one to bash other people’s religions, but I just think that what you have started is ridiculous.”
    .
    We have so much in common! I think [italic, w00t!]your[/italic] religion is ridiculous! But I’m not bashing it. I’m just saying it’s dumb.
    .
    “As someone else on the site said, pasta wasn’t created until the 1600’s, how could a flying spaghetti monster create the world, when spaghetti wasn’t even created yet?”
    .
    Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!!!!! Stop that! Shut up! That’s an irrational argument! He’s not made of pasta. He just takes the form of the delicious, healthy combination of natural ingredients that help us live.
    .
    “And about that Tibetan painting, it’s not your Spaghetti Monster. It’s bearded man.”
    .
    And about that Bible, it’s not about your bearded man. It’s about FSM. Oh, wait, no it’s not. It’s just wrong.
    .
    “It’s just so silly and I can’t beleive you even bother.”
    .
    Inversely (okay, so I tried to use a big word. If it doesn’t make sense, ignore it.), I think [italics again]your[close those italics up] religion is silly. Seriously, why would God take the form of a big old guy with a beard? That’s so stupid. He doesn’t even need all those organs, if he’s immortal. The sensible thing to do would be to turn into a clump of delicious pasta. ‘Cause who doesn’t like pasta?
    .
    “I am just so vexed right now that you preach these blatant lies.”
    .
    Ooh, big words, I’m scared!!! No, seriously, I have no idea what you just said, but I’m pretty sure you’re preaching blatant lies as well. And I think you’ve vexed us more than anyone else, you mean old vexerwoman.
    .
    “I’m not trying to force Catholicism on you or anyone, because I’m NOT CATHOLIC.”
    .
    I’m not Catholic, I swear! I’m Jewish! I’m trying to force you to be [italic time]Jewish![close] No, seriously, if you don’t want us to be Pastafarian, and you’re not trying to force Catholicism on us, then WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?! What, are you trying to force atheism on us?! That seems just as bad!
    .
    “I actually choose not to spend my time depending on a ficticious “higher being”, especially not a “god” that I eat periodically.”
    .
    If he’s so ficticious, how could you eat him periodically?! Besides, he’s immortal, so if you become some Pastafarian equivalent of a Satanist, don’t even try to take a bite.
    .
    “You have to stop this, you need to find some other way to get your kicks, and go to school or something, get a good job, and forget about this silly business.”
    .
    Hey, that was a run-on! F-minus for you! No, seriously, stop insulting our religion. Bobby’s just spreading the truth. You shouldn’t be against that.

    - Icecream

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