Dude… Bobby this is not right
as i read some of your articles your merchendise gets you around a job… go to school, get a job, and tell people that this is a lie. For kick and jokes it’s great, but it’s bad that we have people thinking that a flying ball of spaghetti is there god. one of my classmates says that they are fsm… THEY ARE K R A Z Y. Get a job in architecture you have the right imagination for it so it would be a great job. if you are a sole proprieter than you make your own hours.
I appologize for my fellow Christians actions with using the words “fuck, shit, and fuck you”
you know it is not true and is a lie. but it would make a great joke.
from Robert
Bobby this is not right
Published by Bobby Henderson August 21st, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 273 Comments
273 Responses to “Bobby this is not right”
ouch, that didn’t work. All that work!
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All hail the FSM. May his praise and glory shower upon us as we continue this fleshy existance. He does indeed exist, I’ve seen the noodly appendage. Doubt me all you like, I have seen it.
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i do like how he didnt swear at us like the others but he dosent see past the joke
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If our god don´´t exist, why yours exist?
which are the proves’
because i´ve got many causes to beliebe in my god(Spaghetti Flying Monster).These are that in my feelings, i love spaghetti and i feel very comunicated with him.
who knows, maybe someday i´ll be a profet of Him.
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Oh dear, someone ”borrowed” my message board name.
Of course, my spelling is nowhere near as bad as this jokers.
Here’s a hint dude, buy a dictionary, and learn to read. lol
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I grew up in Ireland…………Catholic Ireland. Religion was rammed down our throats and any attempt at logical thought or discussion was ruthlessly punished. There I was a sheep without a cause, then one night it happened, not quite my road to Damascus, more like the road to Abrakebadra (take away food chain). I was walking along minding my own business……which at that particular time was the business of quelling the mega munchies…….the kind of munchies that only happen after inhaling the contents of several bucket-bongs…..anyway I was “walking” down to the take away when all of a sudden I felt a supernaturally starchy presence next to my shoulder, the sweet aroma of garlic, Basil and tomato’s engulfed me. My life has changed since I was touched by His noodly appendage, once a simple stoner, I am now a messianic stoner
Our Pasta, which art in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy meatballs come
Thy sauce be done
In Ireland as it is in Italy
Give us this day our daily garlic bread
and forgive us our slurping
As we forgive those who slurp and spatter us
Lead us not into temptation
and deliver us from evil conservative rednecks
For thine is the pasta, the tomato’s and the basil for ever and ever – Pass the parmesan
Thanks FSM
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@Witchy
Welcome to the church of the FSM. There’s plenty of ex-Catholics here (myself included, and living in N. Ireland since a few years btw), you’ll fit right in. I like your alternative version of Our Father. Please post more often if you like.
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Ah, it is indeed good to know that the bucket bong has made it as far as Ireland.
I’m kind of surprised that the Italians didn’t realise God was in fact a pasta-based lifeform during their Renaissance. Maybe they did but the knowledge was surpressed by the Christian Mafia? Still, I believe pasta remains popular in Italy to this day, so maybe with the help of the FSM we will see a resurgance of pasta worship in Italia.
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RAmen.
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How extraordinary. I just stumbled across FSM today. Maybe not an accident but divine intervention as for my last birthday I got a pasta machine. With eggs and flour and water I make the world a better place just like FSM – is that blasphemy?
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2 quick points on creationism:
1)The intelligent design argument is based on an incomplete analogy. Through experience we have learned to determine human-made object by comparing them to non-human made objects. This analogy can not be applied to the universe because we have no benchmark to compare it to. Basically in order to pick out a designed Universe we would have to have experience a range of different universes.
2)If a well-ordered natural world requires a special designer, then God’s mind, being so well-ordered, would also require a special designer. Likewise this designer would need a designer and so on ad infinitum. One could respond by being content with an inexplicably self-ordered divine mind, but then why could one not be content with an inexplicably self-ordered natural world?
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@Lemuel Babcock Aug 31st, 2007 at 1:40 pm “With eggs and flour and water I make the world a better place just like FSM – is that blasphemy?”
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Blasphemy is very hard to perform within CoFSM! It’s a sport more appropriate to xians, muslims and other folowers of theist philosophies.
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But…
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Intolerance is not tolerated here! Really…
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@Jean Bart
“Intolerance is not tolerated here! Really…”…
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Unless of course you’re a controversial wabbit wanting to be invited to a group that may or….*muffled wabbit noises as burly pirates manhandle wabbit into a bag*
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“*muffled wabbit noises as burly pirates manhandle wabbit into a bag*”
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Being manhandled into a bag is the least of your worries Thumper. If I remember correctly some particularly cruel pirate once had the crew of a captured ship sown into sacks with their hands tied behind their backs and then tossed into the sea. How well can wabbits swim with their paws tied?
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…As I walk through the valley in the shadow of the beer volcano
No weevil shall I fear…hey!!! where’d everybody go??? Did the FSM take you all up to beer and stripper heaven and leave me behind???
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@DPG
“How well can wabbits swim with their paws tied?”
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Fairly well I guess…wabbits kinda “dog paddle”…I’m sure I wouldn’t have to worry though…the FSM is bound to send a bulimic whale/shark or kraken to eat and regurgitate me onto friendly shores…
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“Did the FSM take you all up to beer and stripper heaven and leave me behind???”
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Beer yes! Strippers no :(
Morning mate :D
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@Morning Alchemist!!!
“Beer yes! Strippers no :(”
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Ummmm…sounds like you are suffering a similar ale-ment to me…clinical intoxication…although this morning I wouldn’t call my condition “heavenly”…I attended a wedding last night with some folk from Western Queensland *insert cracking bull whip*…the beer was cold and plentiful…I left after the bridal waltz and about one half hour before the scheduled bare knuckle car park boxing…
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Oh a wedding. Nasty!
Still – cold beer (not that cat’s piss called XXXX I hope!)
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How long until you and Thumperess (Christine I think – hedging my bets with Thumperess) get hitched?
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Thought you guys should see this. I love this stuff.
http://news.independent.co.uk/world/australasia/article2914411.ece
I thought it would be worse to write a story about Jesus who was really a gay space alien female, ignoring the prime directive, but I’ve been outdone.
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Thumper ™ Aug 31st, 2007 at 4:05 pm
“wedding last night with some folk from Western Queensland……..I left after the bridal waltz and about one half hour before the scheduled bare knuckle car park boxing…”
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But Thumper….you mean you missed that most important tradition? Shame on you….you…you piker wabbit ;)
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@bill Aug 31st, 2007 at 4:55 pm
“Thought you guys should see this. I love this stuff.”
http://news.independent.co.uk/world/australasia/article2914411.ece
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Sounds ok to me.
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Oh brother…
Another one who doesn’t understand satire.
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Hi Scott :)
“Another one who doesn’t understand satire.”
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Yes….*sigh* So many of our Christian visitors suffer from HDD! (Humour Deficit Disorder) So sad :(
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@Wenchy
“But Thumper….you mean you missed that most important tradition? Shame on you….you…you piker wabbit”.
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It was late, the bar had closed and the plus sized women in taffeta were on first…I’m off soon to see the Lions play the Cats at the Gabba…the lingerie model managed to snag free ticket in a corporate box…free beer…free nibbles…I can feel my hangover “freeing up”…until tomorrow…adios!!!
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God, I can’t stand half the people who claim to be members of my own religion. I’m proud to call myself a Christian. But holy crap do these people know how to read way too far into things.
The entire concept of the FSM is a fantastic idea.
There has been a notable amount of scientific evidence coming about recently, things that support a lot of what the Bible talks about…odd things like seashells being found in the Himalayas. But regardless, it’s still a relatively small amount of evidence.
While I believe in and support all the aspects of my religion, and believe that everyone should be given the opportunity to lean more about Christianity and the evidence supporting it…I don’t think there is ENOUGH evidence to justify its integration into public education…nor do I think it is proper to force its instruction in such an environment.
Silly “believers.”
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I believe i’ve heard about the seashell in the himalayas thing too. The christians say this is due to a flood that covered the entire earth, despite the fact that the water wasn’t there before, and that amount of water isn’t here now. or could it possibly be that the himalayas were mad from tectonic plates colliding, pushing the land mass up. the Himalaya may well have used to be below sea level. but no, of course a flood 4km high worldwide is much more plausible.
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Hi Kyle
Nice to here from you :)
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Hi Commodore Angryy :)
Yes some idea of how mountains are formed helps. :)
The global flood idea doesn’t quite explain the various ages (dated via radiopmetric dating) of the different layers of stratification containing seashells. Millions of years difference between them.
Oh well :)
RAmen
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However the FSM changing the evidence around DOES explain how they got there…
RAmen
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Of course, i understand now. some idiot tried to make the FSM into a marinara dish, and in his drunken fury he threw the oyster shells where he thought no-one might ever find them again.
the lesson here is, the FSM does not like seafood.
RAmen
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@Kyle
Welcome to the church of the FSM, it’s a refreshing change to get a christian who can grasp the idea of satire. You wrote
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“There has been a notable amount of scientific evidence coming about recently, things that support a lot of what the Bible talks about…odd things like seashells being found in the Himalayas.”
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A christian friend of mine also mentioned that to me once. I asked her for the source of the info, but she didn’t know. And she seemed very disinterested in discussing the integrity of the source. She was just mildly offended that I didn’t take her ‘I don’t know where it comes from but it’s true anyway, so puh’ as convincing. Do you know where the story comes from? Has it e. g. been published in a scientific journal? The finding would represent a major problem for a field like geology. Unless it’s another one of those Answers in Genesis inspired canards. Do you have a reference for the info please?
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And hi Commodore, Nikkiee :)
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Hi DPG
I don’t think even AiG would go on that one….then again… :)
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Thumper ™ Aug 31st, 2007 at 7:04 pm
“It was late, the bar had closed..”
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Well that’s an entirely different matter…no such thing as a piker when the bar is closed!
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“and the plus sized women in taffeta were on first…”
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Oh dear…..sounds like it would have been a ton of fun :p
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Commodore Angryy Sep 1st, 2007 at 12:39 am
“Of course, i understand now. some idiot tried to make the FSM into a marinara dish, and in his drunken fury he threw the oyster shells where he thought no-one might ever find them again.”
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Hahahahaha….I think you just may be right there :) I guess that doesn’t bode well for my love of Spaghetti Marinara then..
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@ Wench Nikkiee
Spaghetti Marinara … eww.
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Kyle
Also, the existence of seashells in the Himalayas has been known for at least 500yrs. The “placed there by the deluge” was a common explanation accepted before evidence was produced drowning (so to speak) that idea. Even Leonardo da Vinci wasn’t convinced 500 yrs ago of the deluge explanation……because of the layers and because lots of the thin fragile shells in the different strata were intact.
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You have absolutely no taste Commodore Angryy! Probably comes from living out in that ditch :p))
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1.) People should be allowed to believe whatever they want
2.) Do you believe in spellcheck?
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Kendareru, I absolutely do not believe in spell-check. It has tried to make the utmost rubbish of my reports, letters and mails, while missing some glaring faults :(
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Kyle: Hmmm, sea-shells found in the Himalayas support the bible story?? I’d say it even more supports the idea of plate-techtonics (sp?) wich I find a bit more logical :)
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Beat you to it RDPW, but then again, you spelled techtonic right.
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I have to say, the whoe of the Christian community who post here is talking it way too seriously. Parodies rarely mean what they say, it’s just for fun. Nobody (Hopefully) takes the FSM seriously, and the only reason it parodies the Bible is because that is the religion most people know about apart from Christians. FSM is meant to prove many things, but I feel it just proves that Religion in general ruins us. Most wars has religious causes, and asm it’s said in the Condiments (much more sensible then the Commandments), you should spend money on researching cures for diseases, and ending poverty, much soending millions on religious buildings. God is omnipresent, therefore you should be able to worship anywhere. Christians, grow up, it’s a joke. Don’t force-feed people your religion. Pastafarians, don’t take it so seriously. =P
Peace out yall.
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Ok, silly links time.
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First, the blasphemous separatists that are the Reformed church of the FSM have brought out their own interpretation of His inerrant word (messed up links to get them to pass the spam filter):
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w—–ww.amazon.co.uk/dp/1411682769/ref=pe_pe_5301_7565171_pe_ar_v1
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The synopsis reads as follows:
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the world’s newest deity. Wisdom direct from the FSM’s noodly lips. Poetic insight on love, sex, service, and cleanliness; Eye-opening commentary on the 7 deadly sins and other world religions; The only logically proven answers to “What is the one true religion?” and “Who is the one true God?” Astonishing prophecies on the end of the world, and 10,000 mysterious and uncensored verses. With humor, GOD SPEAKS! challenges us to go beyond superficial religiosity and look for deeper meaning. GOD SPEAKS! is the Holy Book for the Reformed Church of the FSM, a heretical offspring of the pre-reformation Church of the FSM. Unlike the pre-reformation Church, The Reformed Church takes its wisdom directly from the FSM Deity, without human intervention.
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Blasphemy in its purest form of course, suggesting that they have a Truth higher than the word of the FSM as passed on by our great prophet Bobby Henderson. May their pints of stale beer be huge and their stripper angels particularly old, fat and ugly once they get to paradise.
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Then it gets much sillier still once we turn from the misguided Reformed CoFSM nutters to the even more ludicrous religion that is christianity. Yoga is a distraction from true faith now apparently, because of its Hindu origins. Hence a vicar banned it:
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w======ww.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article2358035.ece
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DPG
Yoga, TM, hypnosis, heavy metal etc.
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They all open your spirit up to outside (ie demonic) influences.
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Who’s for a stoning then? Oh wait, it’s 2007 not 1407!
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I have a question to ask. Fundies believe that only one book holds any truth, the bible. thereby they question and ridicule EVERY other book, so why do they never stop to think about the bible? why is it that they believe that the bible has to be true, when there is absolutely no interrelating supporting evidence, EVER?
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@ DPG
When did this reformed Church of FSM begin? can we place a fatwa on them?
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CA – the bible isn’t a book. It’s the literal word of God.
It’s very difficult to understand but when I was trolling a christian site one of the Admins said I was thinking too much.
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Kinda sums it up really!
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why must you be an anti-Spaghettite? religions evolve over time. there are only a few people that worship odin anymore, and he was worshipped throughout most of northeren and easteren europe. i do not mock your beliefs please do not mock mine. just because something doesn’t make sense to you doesn’t mean it’s “not right”. and please learn to use correct grammar defore you criticize others, crazy is spelled with a “c” not a “k” and the word you were looking for is their not “there” it is very difficult to sound threatening if you can’t spell.
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Well here’s some nice news from Texas…be warned this is from the *Uncommon
Descent* …IDiot clown William Dembski’s website…however I think that made it an even more satisfying read …hehehehehe :))
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“Baptist University pulls plug on Evolutionary Informatics Lab – links to intelligent design fatal”
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http://www.uncommondescent.com/
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Wow the link posted ok….praise His Noodlyness :p
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Regarding Himalayan seashells, I once worked down a coal mine, 900 foot underground, in one of the roadway roofs there was a fossilised mussel bed.
Oh, and bloody great fossilised fern trees that sometimes tried to crush unlucky miners when they fell from the roof.
Can Noah’s deluge explain this you dumb fundies?
All hail the Mighty Pasta God, Ramen.
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