Dude… Bobby this is not right
as i read some of your articles your merchendise gets you around a job… go to school, get a job, and tell people that this is a lie. For kick and jokes it’s great, but it’s bad that we have people thinking that a flying ball of spaghetti is there god. one of my classmates says that they are fsm… THEY ARE K R A Z Y. Get a job in architecture you have the right imagination for it so it would be a great job. if you are a sole proprieter than you make your own hours.
I appologize for my fellow Christians actions with using the words “fuck, shit, and fuck you”
you know it is not true and is a lie. but it would make a great joke.
from Robert
Bobby this is not right
Published by Bobby Henderson August 21st, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 273 Comments
273 Responses to “Bobby this is not right”
Someone here actually called Heineken “beer”! Well, strictly following EC laws, it might be… Stella Artois comes a bit closer, well, it has a taste… a taste…
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@ just some follower of the FSM
I was just about to go on my two year mission with I decided that worshiping the Zombie Jew didn’t really suit me.
While I do not have the actual experience of doing door to door for two years, I did train to do so. I could be of some help in this department.
How I would love to apostolate for the FSM! Going from house to house in full pirate garb!
Arrhg and RAmen!
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Stella rules… I had it for the first time at the Hard Rock Cafe in Cairo last year… AWESOME place, by the way.
Back to the subject of the poster: Robert, the reason I joined the FSM web-family is because it was refreshing to find that there were more people out there who had probably been jaded by closed-minded Christians who told them that “their way” was the “only way” to believe, and they became frustrated and sometimes angry when we tried to use logic to explain why the bible was a fictional piece of work. I’ve had to stand in a Christian church with an embarrassed expression for HOURS just to spend a holiday with family. I have had one to many bad encounters with “decent” Christians, while never believing a word they said. The bible and “God” were created (in my opinion) as a way to scare people into following laws. If people believed that they would go to a place of fire and pain for eternity if they didn’t follow laws created by the church, they would be more apt to follow those laws. The problem is that 2,000+ years later, people still take the concept literally. It’s as if they can’t exist without a boogeyman to scare them into doing the right thing. Very baffling to me.
Sorry all, for the long post… I’ve had a bad day. Hugs to everyone
RAmen
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(I misused the word ‘to’ in the 9th line of the above post… I meant to use ‘too’, as in ‘also’)
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I’ve been gone this long and the Christians STILL don’t know what satire is? We went through such a Hate Mail dry spell that I thought for sure that they had figured it out.
Also, does this “Robert” fellow know anything about Prophet Bobby, aside from his name? As said, Christian Robert, Bobby has a degree in physics and thus went to school. He wrote a book which has been widely published, and sells merchandise, and thus has a job. His income is no more fraudulent than that of publishers and editors of the Christian Bible, or the people who make “WWJD?” wristbands, or sell zombie Jew fish. When they admit that their respective sky daddies are lies (or more specifically and realistically, their beliefs about said sky daddies are not science and never will be), I’m sure that our beloved Bobby will do the same. You get right on that, and we will appease you.
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@dantes_torment
welcome back, glad to see you’ve lost none of your good sense :)
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Jean Bart, according to EC law, cadbury’s is chocolate… And carrots are a fruit! That was done to make sure that those crazy brits could make jam out of it and call it jam. Everyone knows that carrots are only good for rabbits (or possibly wabbits too).
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There’s carrot jam? We’re talking about gods while carrot jam is just sitting on the shelf? Excuse me, I have to go shopping right now.
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What exactly defines a “jam”? How does it it differ from a “jelly”?
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Robert, I don’t really now. I’m not sure how to translate the Dutch terms into English when it comes to jams and jellies.
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Boarg, apparatly there is. I remember being extremely surprised going to a bakery the first time in the UK and finding carrot-cake there!
We have a joke about that stuff in the Netherlands :) I never thought that that was real!
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Carrot cake isn’t too bad. Carrots are quite sweet. Prefer double chocolate with butter cream though.
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Robert – for me a jam is something you have on bread whilst jelly is served with ice-cream. Usually at children’s parties.
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Did someone mention carrot cake, carrot jam and carrot jelly??? What about a carrot burger with carrot fries and carrot shake!!!…*wabbit dances about clapping paws*
@Alchemist
Buona Mattina!!!
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Thumper, you’ll like the joke. It has a smart-ass bunny in it :P
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A rabbit goes to the bakery and asks: Do you have carrot-cake?
Baker says No we don’t.
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Next day the rabbit comes back and again asks: “Do you have carrot-cake?”
Baker: “NO, we don’t have carrot-cake, I told you that yesterday too”
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This goes on for the next few days and finally the baker gets fed up with it and decides to make carrot-cake.
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So the next day the rabbit walks in and asks “Do you have carrot-cake?”
“YES, we have carrot-cake”
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Rabbit: “Horrible isn’t it?”
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hahahahahahahaha…..
RAmen Red Dutch
ps. I love carrot cake :p)
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Everybody knows that carrots are good for the eyesight: ever seen a wabbit with glasses?
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OK, I know, this one is only a tiny bit older “than the street”, as a Flemish saying goes.
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I like carrot cake. Lovely and moist.
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But, it really makes you think carrot cake does.
who sat there, with a couple of carrots left over, and thought … “I’ll make a cake!” , as if it was going to be a good idea???
banana cake is better.
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Hi Thumper.
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Commodore Angryy
“who sat there, with a couple of carrots left over, and thought … “I’ll make a cake!” , as if it was going to be a good idea???”
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I suspect I’ve been that drunk!
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@ Alchemist.
You are no longer allowed near eggplant, or aubergine depending on where you are.
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Carrot-cake, yuckie. Commodore, I’m with you, banana-cake is much better.
And Alchemist, remind me not to eat any cake you might offer me…. :)
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Haaaaa!
Some well-intentioned bloke tries to tell Bobby how wrong it is to believe in a flying spaghetti monster (did you see I didn’t capitalize, just to give a neutral impression?), and the thread ends up discussing carrot cake!
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I like it.
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What a typical moronic comment.
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the original post that is….
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Hmmm. I wonder what type of code this is.
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Carrot cake is maybe yellow cake….hmmmm…
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Eh? What about the bananas and aubergines boss?
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hey! a way to advertise fsm? write the url on an old white t-shirt, go into a public place. if you want attention, drop your pants(at the dry-cleaners). you’ll get attention.
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disclaimer- i claim no responsibility. at all. for anything. ever.
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@ Wench Octarine
that’s amazing, you’re disclaimer also applies to all organized religions.
before you say CoFSM is organized, no, it isn’t.
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Dear Readers,
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Without wishing to offend any of the properly diagnosed dyslexics out there, there appear to be a lot of self-diagnosed dyslexics in here. I’ve done some quick lookups in that bastion of veracity called Wikipedia, and “Cannot be arsed to construct a proper sentence” is nowhere near the official definition of Dyslexia.
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There is something that you need to understand here: This is a place where proper arguments and evidence of actual thought processes going on on the other side of these postings, are valued above mere shouting and regurgitation of dogma.
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We* actually relish the occasional intelligent post made here by a Christian, explaining some of the issues that Atheists don’t seem to understand about Believers. The FSM knows there are plenty of those. We* are very much aware that being a Christian does not imply being stupid.
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But on the other hand, if you see fit to post here a barely legible piece of drivel, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing, then prepare to be mocked mercilessly!
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Yes, we know about Answers In Genesis. We even know, about many other such sites. Most of us will be intimately familiar with the writings of Jack T. Chick. None of these have succeeded in “disproving Evolution”. Unless you are smarter than these folks (with no comment on how difficult it would be), then basically, don’t bother, you will fail. There is very little on the web today about the merits of Creationism that someone in here won’t have read already.
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The whole point in this website, and in Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is to keep the things you believe separate from the things you know.
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Arrr!
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Yours,
Devout Heathen.
* There is no “We”.
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@Devout Heathen
If you want some discussion with a serious christian (about biblical morality etc, not about evidence) then you’re welcome to join the discussion on
http://www.venganza.org/2007/07/13/communicate.htm
Krony is a guest from the inthepersuitofgod forum. He has been trying to explain the case for christianity in a patient and civil manner (although some have grown a dislike of his question dodging techniques etc in debate).
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Mass response :)
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C.A – “You are no longer allowed near eggplant…”
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Far too much work for drunk food. Unless you mistake them for a really big, purple pear! Which, I grant you, is entirely feasible.
It’s the old “Alcohol : Good idea at the Time” ratio again!
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RDPW – Hey! I’m a very good cook. My cake is superb. After two slices you won’t give a monkey’s what it tastes like. Better than a Ferris Wheel!
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JB – “…and the thread ends up discussing carrot cake! …I like it.”
Ya! It’s how I like my threads too! Sunny side up :)
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mi5 “Hmmm. I wonder what type of code this is.” – “Carrot cake is maybe yellow cake….hmmmm…”
Not a chance matey boy! We hid the good stuff at Beastly’s last year! The background radiation from the Radon in his house masks it’s own signature!
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No – Bollocks! No one called Beastly. He doesn’t live in Cornwall and we have NO Uranium! Oxides or otherwise! Just to set the record straight you understand!
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WO – Ahhh! As logical as ever :P
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Devout Heathen – Nicely put! RAmen.
(Although I would have used *correctly diagnosed*, rather than *properly diagnosed*.
Oh yeah, I probably wouldn’t have … :D)
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Alchemist; though I do not wish to insult your culinary skills, I still have grave doubt about eating any cake you baked :) Especially if ferris-wheels are in any way involved :)))
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RDPW – “Alchemist; though I do not wish to insult your culinary skills, I still have grave doubt about eating any cake you baked :)”
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It’s a trust thing isn’t it? Well trust me! The only cakes I’ve ever baked have baked me back :) That’s how good they are :D
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Ooooh – be right back. The sun-flowers are scratching for their evening story. They wont go to sleep without it!
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Alchemist, thats exactly what I’m afraid of :)))
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You ARE welcome to come over and have some of the chocolate-cake we just made :) Sorry Thumper, no carrots in that cake :P
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I thought Lemon cake was secret code for yellow cake.
You know the cakes with 235g of zest?
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I thought carrot cake was Semtex because its orange in colour.
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Can everyone stick to the standard obfuscations or it won’t be just the CIA who are confused.
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PS: Please disregard that previous comment. It was a joke.
Ha Ha?
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Oh, ha ha.
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۞ – “I thought Lemon cake was secret code for yellow cake. You know the cakes with 235g of zest?.”
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“I thought carrot cake was Semtex because its orange in colour.”
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Sorry about that, my fault. I’m crap with colours :(
So, let me get this right … Lemon Cake is U3O8 (Uranium Oxide just in case the NSA don’t know) and Carrot cake is Semtex!
So what are chocolate cake, banana cake (George Bush’s favourite by all accounts!) and two-stage, intermediate range, thermonuclear missile cake then?
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BTW Has Iran paid you for those Gas Centrifuges yet?
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Does this mean that fruit cake is code for the George W?
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Paid? They’ve paid for all that agricultural equipment (!!) and ordered some more.
They say they’re stepping up ‘wheat production’ because they want to make a lot of cakes. Really big ones.
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They’re going to throw(!) a party for Israel. Sounds nice.
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One-eyed Wonderkin
Aug 27th, 2007 at 7:21 am
Does this mean that fruit cake is code for the George W?
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If not it should be :P
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I find it strange how this person cannot see that what bobby is doing is actually a very respectable job.
Let’s see Robert mentions that bobby can make his own hours… isn’t that already true? or do I miss something here…
Personally I would love to be able to make a living with something as brilliant as what bobby has done… no amount of school can get you to that level… that’s what the American dream is REALLY made of
If you ask me it sounds like Robert is jealous. He realizes what bobby has and feels stuck in his own life and wishes he could manage to achieve that but cant, because he’s not bright enough to be capable of it.
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@Alchemist Aug 27th, 2007 at 7:01 am
“So what are chocolate cake banana cake (George Bush’s favourite by all accounts!) and two-stage, intermediate range, thermonuclear missile cake then?”
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Oh dear now I’m getting confused as well :(
Isn’t the Chocolate Cake the enterotoxigenic…erm…*desert* ???
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You know…the weakening one?
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Damn…sorry…meant the “weak end” one?
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Now, I don’t agree with this hate-mail, but I must admit that I am rather impressed at how civil and generally error-free it is!
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Actually, scratch the part about error-free- but still, we haven’t had this well written a hate-mail in… FSM knows how long! I say we celebrate!
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@ SE – Hi! It’s weird – not only have people not celebrated the well-written-ness of this hate mail but they haven’t posted much on this thread! Oh well…
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If you look in the archives back at the beginning of the site, ALL the hate mail was as well, or better written than this one. i beg everyone chech them out.
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All hail the FSM!
Now I think I’ll go eat some holy pasta.
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