Dude… Bobby this is not right
as i read some of your articles your merchendise gets you around a job… go to school, get a job, and tell people that this is a lie. For kick and jokes it’s great, but it’s bad that we have people thinking that a flying ball of spaghetti is there god. one of my classmates says that they are fsm… THEY ARE K R A Z Y. Get a job in architecture you have the right imagination for it so it would be a great job. if you are a sole proprieter than you make your own hours.
I appologize for my fellow Christians actions with using the words “fuck, shit, and fuck you”
you know it is not true and is a lie. but it would make a great joke.
from Robert
Bobby this is not right
Published by Bobby Henderson August 21st, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 273 Comments
273 Responses to “Bobby this is not right”
Well…
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Dude… how is the view from your soapbox?…do you think maybe you can grab some grammar lessons whilst up there?…Also the body of christ cannot be as tasty as a gigantic spaghetti monster…I mean in the words of Peter Griffin…Come onnn….come onnnn….LOL
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Tell you what, sir. Provide me with an argument for why my gods can’t exist that does not also disprove the existance of your god.
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Hah! First post to me!
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Does the term satire mean ANYTHING to you?
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i don’t get it.
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Hey, people have their own right to choice, and we know this is mostly satire. Your class mate is prolly just trying to piss u off or start a discussion, that’s what I’m trying to do when i stick by my FSM beliefs. BTW this religion has absolutely no dogma, so technically it is impossible to actually believe int he FSM, but hey, the community’s pretty fun.
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Yeah, it’d make a great joke, you’re right. Hmmm….
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apparently the christian god doesn’t care enough to give his minions the intelligence to master the power of grammar.
all hail the fsm.
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> technically it is impossible to actually believe int he FSM
heretic.
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“THEY ARE K R A Z Y” ????
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lol, I gues that’s a whole lot better than delusional.
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Spaghetti Monster bashers unite. Maybe you can pool enough money for some grammer books. If you study them, at least your pathetic complaints will sound better.
“But we ain’t got no need fer nuttin but one book in our house!”
FSM got props in Richard Dawkins book, “The God Delusion”. I would highly recomend it for any religious fence sitters out there. It will change your life in ways only topped by his noodliness.
Peace Out
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Ouch……mabey I’d listen to more christians…if they could spell crazy or half the other curses they like to say to everyone who doesn’t believe in God and Jesus.
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Super mirror funtime!
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“Dude… Bobby this is not right”
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(Hey, don’t tell Bobby what’s not right! He’s da prophet, man!)
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“as i read some of your articles your merchendise gets you around a job…”
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(Actually, it gets him around a job even when you’re not reading the articles. But yeah, he sells stuff. That ain’t bad.)
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“go to school, get a job, and tell people that this is a lie.”
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(I think he might have already gone to school, his job is to sell FSM merchandise, and who are you to tell him that this is a lie?)
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“For kick and jokes it’s great,”
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(Well, for kicks and jokes, it’s a bit ignorant. I prefer my Pastafarians to actually believe in the FSM.)
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“but it’s bad that we have people thinking that a flying ball of spaghetti is there god.”
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(In my opinion, it’s bad that we have people thinking that a flying ball of nonexistent skin and bones is their god.)
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“one of my classmates says that they are fsm…”
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(Good for them! They’ve been Touched by His Noodly Appendage!)
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“THEY ARE K R A Z Y.”
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(Wait, what?! Then I think YOU’RE krazy, you mean old Christian! Stop insulting people!)
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“Get a job in architecture you have the right imagination for it so it would be a great job.”
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(Ever heard of punctuation? Anyways, he’s having plenty of fun relaxing and drinking. He doesn’t need to work to make himself happy.)
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“if you are a sole proprieter than you make your own hours.”
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(Oh, sorry, I don’t know those big words. Let’s skip this part.)
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“I appologize for my fellow Christians actions with using the words ‘fuck, shit, and fuck you’”
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(That’s okay, man. I know not all Christians are bad. They’ve just been deceived by an evil webmaster, except he’s a prophet instead of a webmaster. By the way, they’re also krazy.)
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“you know it is not true and is a lie.”
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(I can say the same for you. Actually, I can’t, because you’re being pretty agressive about it. Which is why I feel sorry for you. Don’t believe in God! He’s a lie created by a jobless guy when he was drunk! FSM is the true savior!)
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“but it would make a great joke.”
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(We’re cool with that. We understand that they’re just jokes, as long as they’re not too offensive. Go ahead telling jokes.)
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“from Robert”
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(Yeah, from Captain Icecream, Pastafarian Jellybean Pirate of the Jellybean Empire, Ruler Of The Universe And All Outside Regions.)
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Well, I guess that Robert missed that Bobby has a physics degree.
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I have to admit, a BS degree in physics is a lot like a degree in philosophy. Sounds nice, but it is hard to get a decent paying job unless you get a doctorate.
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I think that your “friends” are making fun of you. I would look at someone weird if they said that they were the FSM. My understanding is the the FSM touches you, but does not possess you. Why would the FSM possess someone? The FSM is the coolest think in the universe, well second to the good strippers and fine libations.
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I am asking you, Robert, look into yourself. Objectively reflect on your words and actions at the end of the week. It may make you a better person.
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It is officially the day with the best nickname. It is HUMP DAY!!!
Go Get Your’s Today life is short but sex is best savored for hours. ;)
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RAmen
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It’s not a lie, it’s not a lie. *sniff* I know it’s not, because since I let the FSM into my life it has improved so much. That’s how I know the FSM is real and true and GOOD! A lot better than you zombie-on-a-stick Robert.
There!
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Hmmm, think I’ll have spaghetti with cheese tonight :)
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Lousy Troll is Lousy
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Did anyone else notice that his letter included the following: “…thinking that a flying ball of spaghetti is THERE god”(emphasis added) as if some deeper, more certain part of his “psychological core” was as if pointing to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, if even to an as of yet unrealized part of his inner nature, instead, of: “thinking that a flying ball of spaghetti is THEIR god” (Emphasis recommended,) as if he were to actually not believe, that such a god exists?
Me thinks if Freud were alive, between his cocaine and cigars, he might make the time to say something about the matter.
Anyway, time to change me patch to the udder eye! Yaaaarrgh!
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First off anyone so egocentric to think their god IS THE god is a fucking imbecile. If you say you believe it is a god OK just don’t say it IS you just prove your own ignorance…ignoring the hundreds of other religions (who probably say or believe you are wrong)…
NOW:
If god created everything (for those of you who believe all that you may already have read too much… so I suggest you take an aspirin and go marry your sister) -Yes I am trying to be a bit mean and condescending.
AND:
The flying spaghetti monster IS part of that everything; you remember, the everything that your god (you might as well own it) created.
THEN:
You have to admit that if someone imagines something or writes about it and others ‘believe’ in it then it exists, right? -Kinda like believing in jesus, or mohammed, or the un-namable jewish god or even the flying spaghetti monster being a (the???) god… BTW: you are ignoring all of these and more… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religions
There is no factual or actual proof for either or any of them, just “belief” (s).
Uh-oh believers, you’d better run away, that last couple of paragraphs made sense!!!
SO:
if, as some believe we’re all created in dog’s image (HA)
then not only does the flying spaghetti monster exist but
so do pirates (He said butt)
…just still not any gods (in my book)!!!
I think M. Vick killed their god…(Yes, it’s a play on dog for you obtuse zealots…uhh I mean christians…or are they called editors… or just new-jews… Wha-Eva)
Love to you, no matter what you do or do not believe, (even if you’re ignorant),
-J
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I forgot to mention…
All of this is fucking hilarious and says more about the states (united states) than we all may be aware of…
Dog save the queen. We mean it man.
-J
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Freud said, “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” However, in this case, JD, you are on to something.
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I guess if you believe in one fictional character, the rest just come right along. I guess Roberts argument is MY god is better then YOUR god. Grow up, Robert. There is only one creater, I do not call it a god, and that is the FSM. Your god was created to separate the wheat from the chaff. Only smart people get to drink from the beer volcano and mingle with the strippers.
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I’m honestly having trouble understanding what this person is getting at. Someone clarify please? :O
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What is life but kicks and jokes Robert? When was the last time that the Christian God of skin, muscle, and bones made you laugh out loud? When I was a Christian (Mormon more specifically) I never laughed at church! Every Sunday I just sat on the pews wishing I was somewhere else (in between my day dreams of being Spider-Man fighting invading Terrorist), but when I was touched by His Noodly Appendage, for the first time religion made me laugh! (You know, mostly people would cry at Church. Why would God want to make you cry and be sad all the time?)
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@Squingleburg
Welcome to the church of the FSM. Sounds like you came to the right place. This is a fun cyberspot to hang out :)
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I just finally had to say something Red Dutchpasta Wench- Zombie-on-a-stick! I LOVE IT!!!
Isnt Jebus supposed to bring you peace? Why all the rage? Why lash out at Bobby? Are you covering for your own short comings? Your God’s short comings?
My god is a happy god and He has seen fit in His infinite wisdom to touch me with His Noodly Appendage and bestow all the booty I could ever want.
You know, I feel better just for having posted! (First post) :)
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rAmen!
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Welcome unto the embrace of His Noodly Appendages Captain Marcus….and yes..
RAmen
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Why is it that only Christians manage to make it to the Hate Mail section?
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@Captain Marcus
Welcome to CoFSM, may you be Touched by His Noodly Appendages!
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@SuperFrog
Because only Christians are capable of such blind and ignorant hatred.
RAmen
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@squingleburg
if you were a mormon, did you go door to door preaching, because i have been thinking that we need some stuff like that. and if we will do it in the name of the FSM, we’ll need advice from someone with experience.
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Captain Marcus of the Flying Rubinetto
Aug 22nd, 2007 at 4:14 pm
I just finally had to say something Red Dutchpasta Wench- Zombie-on-a-stick! I LOVE IT!!!
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Thanks, but it was someone else here who said it first (sorry, don’t remember who) and I just loved it so much, I just had to use it :)))
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” and tell people that this is a lie.”
You first.
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i say we start a crusade. just try not to get violent about it.
all you really need to do is stand in the street and shout out how we should be getting into heaven, and what’s there. another effective way of getting followers would be to drop an image of the FSM, the site name, and what we’re about on a letter into everyone’s mailbox in your area.
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@SuperFrog
“Why is it that only Christians manage to make it to the Hate Mail section?”
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It’s mostly christians, but not 100% exclusive. There were some blurbs in Arabic left on the Academic endorsements pages lefts recently. With a url to an online version of the Koran. I couldn’t read it, but I wouldnt be surprised if that was Islamic preaching. Don’t know if it was hateful.
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@DutchPastaGuy
“Koran…Don’t know if it was hateful.”…I’ll hazard a guess it was hateful!!!…most likely calling for holy war against Pirates, Pastafarians, beer and wabbits…shocking…
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yellow fellow pirates i would just like to give my view on mass promotion. i belive that if we were to do a mass promotion scheen it would have to be leaflets posted rather than pirates knocking on peoples doors. basicly my argument in jahovice witness they annoy the hell out of me and do u want pastafarians put under the same catagory. with a leflet they can pick it up read a little and its in the back of there head and slowly things will make sence to them and they will want to cheak it out and bob’s your uncle we have new pastafarians
Pirate Tefer Captain of the Pink Pike
p.s Sorry if any of my spelling or grammer was incorrect (pirates dont need to read or write we count treasure)
p.s.s hello to the pastafarians that was in london on the 17th of august i was going to say hello but u walked into a restarant before a could say anything
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@Pirate Tefer Aug 23rd, 2007 at 2:10 am “basicly my argument in jahovice witness they annoy the hell out of me and do u want pastafarians put under the same catagory.”
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Yes, doorknockers are annoying (except the ones on the door’s of Young Frankenstein’s castle), and no, no Pastafarian would like to be put in an annoying category.
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@Pirate Tefer Aug 23rd, 2007 at 2:10 am ” with a leflet they can pick it up read a little and its in the back of there head and slowly things will make sence to them and they will want to cheak it out and bob’s your uncle we have new pastafarians”
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Sadly, less and less people are willing/able to actually read. Compare the lay-out of an early XXth Century newspaper with that of an early XXIst Century one. People (well, most of them) want simplified messages (foxnews stuff), which is a trend more compatible with fundamentalism-creationism than with critical thinking. Unfortunately
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@Pirate Tefer Aug 23rd, 2007 at 2:10 am “p.s Sorry if any of my spelling or grammer was incorrect (pirates dont need to read or write we count treasure)”
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Care for correct language is important… the clearer the text, the better it can reach people. It’s our only way to compete with simplified (and erroneous/biased) messaging.
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@JB
Yarrr!
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@Tefer,
Just to echo JB, spelling and grammar are vital on the web. If nothing else, a well presented argument is less likely to be dismissed by the reader as bollocks from the unwashed masses.
Better still, the people you want to reach, ie those who care about the subject and are willing to discuss it, will be more inclined to actual hear your argument, even if they themselves disagree.
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Finally, saying pirates don’t need to spell undermines all those who toil to remove the cruel aspersion cast upon us by the evil Hari Krishna.
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@Jingles Aug 23rd, 2007 at 3:53 am “Better still, the people you want to reach, ie those who care about the subject and are willing to discuss it, will be more inclined to actual hear your argument, even if they themselves disagree.” (emphasis mine)
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A very important detail!
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Note: I think all of us are aware of the difficulty of being at the same time clear, concise and captivating.
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CCC.
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Did I just invent the nucleus of a new slogan?
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Quite possibly, but first I must add, it should be actually rather than actual in my above post :P
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look like i have said to jean bart i will say the same to you jingles i am dislyexic and during school teachers didnt have a clue how to help me so left me to my own devices i try and spell everything correctly but i slip up from time to time hence the reason why after each post i make i put an apology at the bottom for my spelling and grammer and i would now like to say this when ever a new hate mail comes in EVERYONE starts nit picking at the spelling and grammer because thats all u can have a go at “Look if there god is so good they will teach them good grammer” now come on people we are pastafarians we should be more chilled out and welcome people that have difficulty spelling and with grammer because they have valid suggestions 2
Pirate Tefer
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Dyslexia does not prevent the use of punctuation, Tefer.
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Also, I think you will find the above comments were directed more at the assertion “pirates dont need to read or write we count treasure”, rather than any particular errors in your text.
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look jingle you was going on about how spelling and grammer is vital to put your arguments together which i perfectly agree with NOT weather or not pirates can spell or not FFS are you that far up your own ass that you need to nit pick at what everyone says so that you can feel big and important.
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Anyone who can attain a reasonably comfortable life without “getting a job” is my god, or would be if His Noodly Appendage wasn’t already occupying that spot. Although in fairness, writing a gospel surely makes one a writer, doesn’t it? That’s kind of like a job. I speak from the experience of more than two decades “on the job”.
To our Christian friend I say: Give different ways of getting there a chance, ay? As long as no one’s going hungry or getting bashed on the head for chanting/not chanting, it’s all cool. And beer volcanoes are not a joke, they’re a goal.
RAmen
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Prate Tefer:
“…NOT weather or not pirates can spell or not FFS are you that far up your own ass that you need to nit pick at what everyone says so that you can feel big and important.
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That’s whether, not weather. Full stop after not (or exclamation mark!) Capital to start a sentence please …
Sorry :) Begging for it :D
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Hahahahaha! I can’t even get the frigging name right! Touche :D
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Wait…..this isn’t real? I have placed my faith in a lie? Dang! Well, I must say that I’m quite embarrassed. At least I realize it now….I feel like such a…such a… well… I feel like a Christian!
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Ted. don’t listen to christians. they belive the world was created by a big breaded guy. we have shown facts that the FSM exists. they have nothing to show that thier god even exsited.
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Another reason to not follow christians is this. Jesus was said to turn water into wine, and doesn’t any wellthinking human know that beer is by nature superior to wine? So why no beer Jesus? (Heineken prefferably)
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Oh dear, we might be heading for a schism. I want Stella Artois!
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