Why sir do you dislike Christians so much that you would create a site willed with such sarcasm and spite? I appologize for all the “Christians” who have found their way onto your hate mail section of your page. Thier actions are not representations of Christ-like living. I mainly just want to know what it is that spurred your actions?
-Ryan
Note from Bobby: I don’t dislike Christians or the religion of Christianity. I dislike dogma and formalism. And I dislike that subset of Christians who push their beliefs on others. And especially those who do this in our schools and government, and then claim that’s not what they’re doing. We are not stupid.
It’s an interesting concept living one’s life according to the bible. What we learn in the old testament is that the way to avoid having your visiting angel sodomised by the local populace is to send out your virgin daughters in a trade off. Seems a reasonable approach, but not as good as being a martyr for islam. You get the full 72 virgin in heaven treatment just for visiting a market/shopping mall and using a bit of Semtex to blow up a few women and kids.
The justification for fundamentalist religions and outrageous acts that go with those beliefs is contained in the books of the major religions. The “moderate” followers just only believe in sections 1,5, 7, 11 and 23 of the good books and put the rest down to historical allegory. Still, might not be bad, some of the people in the old testament lived to be 800 or so. Might put a strain on the health plan if it’s true.
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@Penne Iteration
“Seems a reasonable approach, but not as good as being a martyr for islam. You get the full 72 virgin in heaven treatment just for visiting a market/shopping mall and using a bit of Semtex to blow up a few women and kids.”
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Pastafarianism still beats Islam by miles. Compare the hot stripper angles awaiting us in paradise to totally inexperienced, clumsy, nervous virgins who lack even the least bit of technique. And we can plunder after wreaking mayhem.
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That’s right, pop down the shops for some carrot cake and you’re in heaven!
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I have few firmly held beliefs but putting carrot in a cake seems strangely wrong. It’s a vegetable and only fruit (maybe pasta but yet to be convinced) has the true place in cake heaven. And I take the point on the Strippers. Looked at Islam but the no beer thing really ruled it out. And all the fact that doing anything like praying 4 times a day is a bit of a strain to a couch potato like me (That’s Potatoe for any American politicians checking in)
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You’re right to select your belief based primarily on the after-life package on offer but moderated by the up front deal.
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If the major religions really want to buy our souls they could easily settle it with day trips to heaven so you can make an informed choice.
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I wonder if the virgins in the Islamic heaven have all got veils on? Maybe they could sneak a few ugly ones in? It’s a real concern. And as for the Christian heaven, well most of the women will be nuns and virgins as well, but the deal is completely different there I believe. And what about beer in Christian Heaven. Most Irish catholic priest I know really like a drink so there must be at least Guinness available surely? And if strippers on earth repent on their death bed and get baptised, then the can go to Christain heaven too. But then they would be unemployed and grouchy all day cos that wouldnt be allowed (except maybe in the Irish bars in heaven?) It’s sooo confusing.
And will all that pasta make me fat an unattractive to the noodly strippers in FSM heaven? Then I might look like Buddha. And then I would have to come back again and be reincarnated and miss out on heaven altogether (perhaps even as a stripper, oh dear). I think I’ll become an atheist. Oh, I already am. Damn.
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Penne,
Have a little faith. It will be heaven after all.
Even though you live on beer and pasta, in heaven you won’t get tubby – it’s a miracle!
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Faith? Miracle? Isn’t that where we came in?
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Look matey, you wouldn’t be hanging round here if you weren’t thinking of converting.
If you don’t fancy the ‘faith’ route (and faith does have a very bad track record) look at the compelling scientific evidence!
You’re just going to have to accept that miracles happen in heaven. Have you been? How do you know they don’t.
Stop shilly-shallying with your immortal soul!
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Ok, I’m in. We don’t have to drink Budweiser though do we?
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No. There are lots of different kinds of volcano apparently.
There is even some debate about whether there might be a white wine spritzer volcano for the wenches!
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The best part of our religion is that because our deity isn’t vain, our religion is the only one [with the exception of Anglicanism] that accepts you might not believe in God at all and so is entirely compatible with atheism.
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Hi ۞
“That’s right, pop down the shops for some carrot cake and you’re in heaven!”
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That would be the…erm..*shop* in Cornwall? That building appeared to be glowing a little last time I saw it. What’s the hold up with those suits anyway?
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I mean the Cake shop in Cornwall….of course :)
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Don’t worry about the suits. Just wrap yourself in bacofoil and don’t take the sieve off.
The FSM will protect you!
Honest!
Anyway you’re in Oz, you’re safe. You about the only one that is! But you are safe!
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Ok ۞….I trust you.. :p))
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Nikkiee, And I always had you down as bright!
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No I mean thanks. Frankly the ’shop’ is a long way from populated areas so even if we had an accident ’stacking shelves’ there wouldn’t be too much damage.
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Given the blast radius there might be a worldwide shortage of pasties and cider for a few decades.
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Stock up now.
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@ ۞ – “a worldwide shortage of pasties” Whatever will the strippers do to cover up the (apparently) indecent bits? Or do you think the shortage would cause people to get over *some* of the uptight? :))))
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I had Chicken Ramen for dinner on Saturday and 9 beers and Egg Penne with home made pasta sauce tonight. Is there any form of sainthood I can be put up for. Seems the other religions have lots of those. Usually involved grizzly deaths and torture or curing people though rather than nutritious pasta. Is there a noodly pope to put my name forward (perhaps for a fee as per other religions?)
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@ Penne – if you can track down Pope Pixel, he might be able to help you! He’s a self-proclaimed pope, but given how this religion goes I think that counts! :)))
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After reading this email, I have come to a strange realization. Tachnically no person who sends hate-mail to this site can properly be a Christian. Christianity is supposed to be a religion of love and faith. Any “Christian” who does not abide by that is therefore not properly a member of the religion – and this includes religious leaders, as ironic as that may be.
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۞ , I actually think that every religion is compatable with aetheism. Most of the religious members just don’t know this and therefore preach the importance of a diety.
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What is the deal with carrot cake?
and what’s this about nuclear pasties?
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@ SE – I must admit I’m a bit lost on the carrot cake discussion myself! :)))
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Ooops, sorry, that was supposed to be @ Commodore Angryy…
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i never knew i was an environmentalist before rowdy.
and i’m anything but stereotypical.
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I think the reason fundies don’t like evolution is because they think they are perfect already, and don’t want to change.
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Yesh some fundimental Paulians (rather than christians most are followers of Paul the “13th” aposel (sp))
Ya know re reading the first 4 books of the NT I find this Jesus dude was very different from what is mainstream christianity, hanging out with prostitutes, guzzling wine (heck making more cos everyone wasnt drunk enough!) and generaly saying how nice it would be if people would be nice to eachother!
I still say the biggest screw up with the christian religion was when it became a religion rather than just people being nice
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@ Commodore Angryy – Yep, you got renamed there for a bit! That’s what I get for posting when I’m that tired! :))) “anything but stereotypical” – that’s good! Break free from the mould! (That’s “mold” for the Muricans – I still get confused with spellings!)
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@ Pastafreemason – RAmen to your comments! I agree. At the point it became a religion it became about power and control.
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if only he knew the fsm is a kind loving creature
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Grrr, 7 times I’ve tried to post an answer to Expie’s post… Again the IPU eating my posts? And there weren’t even links in it. Or doesn’t this site support html code anymore?
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(Ninth time, this time without italics or bold)
@Expie Aug 28th, 2007 at 4:23 am “I think the reason fundies don’t like evolution is because they think they are perfect already, and don’t want to change.”
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That’s the (or A) funny explanation, the serious one being that xians cannot cope with the idea that
* the “ruler of the world” evolved from lesser species;
* this ruler’s life stops at death, just like that, just like… lesser species.
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Blame it on Genesis…
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…or blame it on the very human need of (for?) exotic things to believe in. The holy grail, the priory of Sion, any urban legend, advertising, the bible… People WANT to believe things, especially things that, with a bit of research, appear to be nonsense. But nonsense can result in a nice story…
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So that’s it: no html tags allowed anymore?
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@ JB – Just when we think we have the site figured out…
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Testing, testing
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Yippieee, I’m baaaaaaackk!
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@Jean Bart
People WANT to believe things that are nonsense, you say.
Okay, and evolution isn’t nonsense?
Where is the proof of the evolution theory?
Still searching for it??
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(i’ll be honest: i’m a christian…)
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DutchANTIPastaGuy
Aug 28th, 2007 at 11:51 pm
(i’ll be honest: i’m a christian…)
*
Gosh really? To unimaginative to pick your own name?
*
PS there is so much evidence of evolution I wont try to mention the lot, try reading some real books instead of that one fairy-book.
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@RDPW
It seems you have inspired a number of forum poster names now! First I nicked your name and added a small gender change. Now DAPG makes a variantion on that. Who will be next?
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@DAPG
AS RDPW says, there is plenty of evidence from a variety of fields. For a small introduction try http://www.talkorigins.org/. You are properly literate I presume?
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“Who will be next?”…who indeed…
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@DutchThumper ™Wabbit
Ah, kijk eens aan. Leuk dat de Nederlandstalige kolonie groter en groter wordt :)
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Ach wat leuk, een smakelijk ehhh, schattig konijntje :)
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DutchANTIPastaGuy Aug 28th, 2007 at 11:51 pm
“(i’ll be honest: i’m a christian…)”
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Wow sounded just like one too…and a rather ill informed one at that :(
RAmen
Hiya DPG & Red Dutch :))
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@DutchThumper ™Wabbit
Hellooo Thumper :))
Umm…no offense but…well…”DutchThumper ™Wabbit” kind of sounds like the name of a recipe…
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☠DutchPastaGuy☠ & Red Dutchpasta Wench
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Hey…speaka da Englis you two! (:))
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☠DutchPastaGuy☠ Aug 29th, 2007 at 1:42 am
“Ah, kijk eens aan. Leuk dat de Nederlandstalige kolonie groter en groter wordt”
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And I thought it was mostly the fundis had a problem with spelling and capitals ;p)
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@Wench Nikkiee Aug 29th, 2007 at 2:03 am “And I thought it was mostly the fundis had a problem with spelling and capitals ;p)”
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I wonder what the spelling of Dutch fundies (they exist, you know!) looks like. I mean their Dutch spelling…
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Hahahahaha…I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference… :p)
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Jean Bart, try the webpage of the Telegraaf when religious issues are discussed. Or the website of the Bond tegen het Vloeken (A group against cursing), that site is hilarious! There are actually people who watch TV and then check how many times people swear! They are then offended of course and demand action :P But to give an example: darn, would be considered very rude and unacceptable :P
*
So the spelling of Dutch fundies is just as atrocious as that of any fundie :))
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Hi Nikkiee :P How are things down under?
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