dude fsm sucks

Published July 26th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

dude fsm sucks. i mean, what’s the point in believing in a bunch of pasta with 2 meatballs. the inventor of this thing was drunk when he thought about it. beer and stripper factories in heaven, and that the bunch of pasta created the universe when he was drunk… sucks. you are all inventing things and not remembering our real Creator, God and His son Jesus and the whole Christian belief. you are throwing away Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for some drunk bunch of pasta?. ………………………………………think well………………………………………
-gardal



400 Responses to “dude fsm sucks”

  1. Commodore Angryy says:

    Pluto, i speak no spanish. i think i know how to say ‘how much does that cost’ but i certainly don’t know how to spell it. what’s the email address?

  2. Pluto says:

    Can’t access my hotmail from work. They block it. Do you have my E-mail?
    Sorry everyone if I killed the mood. It’s just this is the sort of thing that get to me the most. Deceiving for the most un-noble or reasons. Like the whole WMD bull.

  3. Booty says:

    Hi Pluto!
    Have you got the email from Alchemist yet?
    It’s an invite to join our non-existant secret group which has absolutely nothing to do with taking over the world – if not I will send you one later.
    @ everyone regarding “me” – I think the split personality fits perfectly with Xianity – “I love you” “Worship me or burn in hell” makes perfect sense to me! ;)

  4. Pluto says:

    Yes I emailed him from work yesterday.
    On a more jolly note I’ve just been emailed this years Darwin Awards.
    .
    Here is the glorious Winner:

    1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
    .
    And now, the Honourable Mentions:
    .
    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
    .
    3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
    .
    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to

  5. Pluto says:

    Oops lost the ret cos of those weird brackets! Here’s the rest from mention 4.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to
    Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
    .
    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
    .
    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
    .
    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
    .
    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
    .
    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan , at
    5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
    .
    ******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
    .
    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.
    .
    In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends and family .. unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

  6. Booty says:

    LOL!
    I love the Darwin awards :)

  7. Wench Nikkiee says:

    @Pluto Oct 11th, 2007 at 3:21 am
    “Here is the glorious Winner:
    1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.”
    .
    Yay…..hahahahahaha
    RAmen to James Elliot for his contribution to cleaning out the shallow end of the gene pool.

  8. Wench Nikkiee says:

    Frightening thing is that the awards just seem to get better and better every year.

Leave a Reply