dude fsm sucks. i mean, what’s the point in believing in a bunch of pasta with 2 meatballs. the inventor of this thing was drunk when he thought about it. beer and stripper factories in heaven, and that the bunch of pasta created the universe when he was drunk… sucks. you are all inventing things and not remembering our real Creator, God and His son Jesus and the whole Christian belief. you are throwing away Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for some drunk bunch of pasta?. ………………………………………think well………………………………………
-gardal
dude fsm sucks
Published by Bobby Henderson July 26th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 395 Comments
395 Responses to “dude fsm sucks”
Forget the bloke, take a toke?
I’m rusty.
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I’m crusty yet trusty! Have a toke? I have, you daft bloke :)
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well the whole thing is that sar, is that we’r saefaryin folk, and we dont’ believe in that Jesus stuff, so we instead have a superior god that can give us nurishment and actually has balls…2 of them infact…and you’re god isn’t human i suppose..so he has none…..interesting
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OK let’s take a closer look.
hate hate hate. hate hate, hate’s hate hate hate hating hate hate hate hate hate hate 2 hate. hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate. hate hate hater hate hate hate, hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate… hate. hate hate hate hate hate hate hating jubus jebus jebus, jebus jebus jebus jebus Jebus jebus jebus jebus jebus jebus. jebus jebus jebus jebus Jebus’ jebus jebus jebus jebus jebus jebus jebus jebus jebus jebus?. ………………………………………hate hate………………………………………
-name
Something seems wrong here . .
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This will be religious discrimination against all Pastafarian children! It’s an outrage!
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“Pipe Cleaners, Googly Eyes Cut From Elementary School Arts Budget”
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/65057
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May his Noodly Appendage stop them.
RAmen
:p
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On the one hand they won’t be able to model his noodliness but on the other they will have to make pictures with macaroni.
Whatever they do to drive him out the FSM is there because the FSM is everywhere.
You are never out of reach of his noodly appendage.
RAmen
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It goes to show how much his noodliness loves everybody. according to christianity, god watches you when you’re in the shower, but according to pastafarianism, the FSM touches you too!
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Hi Nikkiee, nice to see you post again:). We missed you.
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I’ve mentioned this before, but did you know that sometimes the FSM chooses to reveal he’s been touching you by allowing bits of his spaghetti sauce to become visible where it rubbed off.
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If you find unexplained food stains on your clothes – I’m thinking particularly after a night out maybe – you know that you’ve been touched by his noodly appendage.
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No that isn’t kebab sauce, it is sacred spaghetti sauce. Wear it with pride!
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However in the shower the evidence will wash away almost immediately so you can neither prove or disprove that he’s been touching you.
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Because we’re a religion and allowed to make ’special’ religious logical inference. That’s a bit different from science where we have to things so called ‘properly’.
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So the fact that we can not prove or disprove something means we get to decide and whatever we say has to be respected as the truth.
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So yes you are touched by his noodly appendage whenever you shower…
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In science we have to believe the truth whatever it is and that is frankly undemocratic. We should all be given a choice and make up our own minds about what we want to be true. That’s religion.
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RAmen.
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@۞ Aug 18th, 2007 at 4:48 am “In science we have to believe the truth whatever it is and that is frankly undemocratic. We should all be given a choice and make up our own minds about what we want to be true. That’s religion.”
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First annex to ۞’s definition of “religion”:
We should all be given a priest and believe what he wants to be true. That’s organised religion.
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RAmen.
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At last a serious religion!
Thank you so much!
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@Jaap
Welcome to the church of the FSM. Hang around, post some more if you like. :)
We’ve been having a number of Dutch visitors lately. Your name is common in the Netherlands too. You’re another Dutch convert?
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Het wordt nog druk hier :)
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We can but hope, RDPW!
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an t’Yorkies ere! ’tis a nice leikin place! :P
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You have your belies and we have ours.
I like pie! Meeps!
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I think we’ve met our first Piestafarian!
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Wow………………… like I’m converting now you hipocrite
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Welcome to the church Polly :) Good to have another Wench on board.
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Hi DPG
Thanks :)) Lot on at the moment I’m afraid so my visits here have been sporadic and brief. :(
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i fart in your general direction! the fsm does not suck he is all knowing and all powerful. and has for “throwing away Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross” chances are you are white and american (who else would say dude). most americans have german heritage. long before christianity began to dominate a great deal of germans believed in norse mythology but cast it aside when the war mongering followers of christianity made them give up there ways. so we can easily say your ancestors through away odin’s self sacrifice when he hung himself from a tree and then stabbed himself with a spear. did you throw this religion away yourself, probably not. but what i’m saying is throughout time people have given up old religions for ones that might not make scence to everyone, like a religion where a woman was made from a man’s rib, or a religion that follows a flying monster made of noodles. what makes scence to some might not make scence to others and you shouldn’t try to be-little those beliefs because you don’t believe them. ii personally believe in the fsm with all my heart and if you can’t deal with that you are a very hateful, close minded, and bigoted person and i wish you know good will in the future. i don’t mock your beliefs please don’t mock mine, people like you, who are very close minded and don’t except any religion other than your own, are the reasons wars start and innocent school children get moltive (did i spell that right??) cocktails thrown at them in ireland.
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RAmen priest. All those carbs in the noodles can make members a little windy occasionally and it is nice to see you putting it to good use.
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Attitudes like this kill people plain and simple. I spend alot of spare time thinking about war how it’s fought and more importantly it’s reasons Greed, hate, Jealousy and fear religion is the only reason for war which i can think of that incorporates all of those reasons if people wern’t so aggressive and agro about their beliefs that they go out of their way to shame abuse and shun those of a different belief system their wouldn’t be nearly as many wars in our history millions of brothers of the sword have died needlessly for some text written in some book and quite frankly that doesn’t make any sence.
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@Giant Leprechaun
While I have a little difficulty following your English, I’ll give a loud RAmen to it anyway.
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And RAmen here too – Can I start a Mexican Wave?
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(Thanks for the skull and crossbones DPG :) )
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the one thing i can say here is the “Bible” contradicts itself..and how can their be two testaments? they contradict each other as well…
i believe that the first person to write the bible was a drunk who did it for a laugh but somewhere along the line some stupid guy decided it was true as tehy believed everything they read.. how does that fit into this guys way of thinking?
(sorry im bored..i could point out a lot of flaws in teh bible if i could be bothered..)
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at Luny.
there are two testaments because they are completely different. one is from the Jews, the old tesament, and the story of Jesus is in the new. But you’re right, they do contradict eachother on many points, one being ‘happy god vs vengeful god’
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Luny and CA.
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The only part of the New Testament that really speaks to me is the Gospel of St. Rudolph. It was written at about the same time as the Revelations of St. John the Stoned.
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Theologians have studied this Gospel for Centuries but it has been suppressed by the Catholic Church.
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Of course, to truly appreciate it you must read it in the original Reindeer!
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Hey Alchemist,
Glad you liked my quiz! :-)
.rev
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Drunken pasta is better than Jesus Zombies, m’boy. ;)
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“you are all inventing things and not remembering our real Creator, God and His son Jesus and the whole Christian belief.”
If christianity is the only religion we missed out of this whole bunch-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_religions- then I’d say we did pretty good job, what with leaving out only the religion that constantly tries to torture us for eternity and all:)
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dude, don’t you realise why fsm was created in the first place? to stop your creationism being taught in the school curriculum and brainwashing the minds of generations of American students (further) NOT to be an actual religion. People who write this bloody hate mail have to realise that.
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well, let me ask you this, sir: who was jesus’ mother? HMM?! Mary? how can she have given birth and remained a virgin? that makes as much sense as a flying spagetti monster creating the universe in a drunken stupor (which makes a lot of sense, once you think about it…)
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It was a magical angel who made Mary pregnant, not a made up pasta creature, silly. Don’t you know anything? (This for the WASP population of the USA is called irony). Animals don’t do irony, they missed out on day three or four of the creation when the irony glands were given out. But they get other stuff, such as dogs being able to pee almost limitlessly on tree and car wheels etc. Aren’t dogs just about the perfect size to pee on car wheels. Not a fluke. Intelligent design. Dogspiss durch technik.
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i never said that the fsm made mary pregnant, so please pay attention to what i wrote before you go abut bashing it and somehow moving on to dogs peeing on tires. i don’t know about you, but i find it annoying when every dog on my block pees on my car in the morning.
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You deny the FSM made Mary pregnant? Pasfemy!
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ok ok, so maybe he did…but how deep in the grog would Mary have to be to have sex with/be raped by our noodly master? and if it was consensual, wouldn’t jesus have SOME similarities with the FSM?
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See what you mean. Pasta tends to sink when mixed with water rather than walk on it. But don’t rule it out. Let’s put it out there as a theory. Takes a couple of years for a Pasta enabled JC religion to form, and, as the only true bringers of the word we can make them give til it hurts on the TV. And then retire with a beer volcano and maybe get some strippers. No one thought of that yet did they?
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Cap’tUberbob is soo right
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i can definately say i didn’t think of that. i see what you’re saying
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I must say that I think people such as our friend Gardal need to realise that most people who are in alternative religions are doing so because of the hypocrtical actions and total lack of live and let live that the Christians have. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and as soon as the Christians and other non-tolerant religions realise this, the sooner the rest of the world can get on with leaving in peace and harmony.
If Gardal doesn’t like then he mustn’t look!
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dude you’re ridiculing the belief that a giant ball of pasta created the universe when he was drunk, but then you go to say that someone did it in 6 days? Umm… no? FSM is just as legit as God
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fsm is a load of shit!
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No, He’s a load of spaghetti. With meat balls.
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@ .rev – sorry, I lost the thread for a week or so :D
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“Glad you liked my quiz! :-)
.rev”
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I love it! I keep getting different answers every time I try it. I love variety.
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This guy is so funny i swear
wtf is the diffrence between his god and fsm???
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After a long period of searching high and low, I discovered that Pastafarianism is the only true religion. It’s loads better than that other one with the old fart in the silly hat who lives in the Vatican and does bollocks all day. All people here who do not think this are heathens and should be treated as such. May they all be struck down by His Noodliness with some carbohydrate-based affliction.
By the way, are there any kiwis here?
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Don’t you just love the reactions from Christians to this site?
Slag me off all you want but I feel Christianity is the most absurd concept humanity has ever concieved. Whatsmore, you force your religion upon us daily with your “10 Commandments” and other bollocks, attempting to make the world a better place!
His Noodliness has created this Earth, not your other unthoughtfully-named “God”. His Noodly Appendages grace Pastafarians worldwide and manipulate the world cleverly and sneakily to make it a better place!
Shame on you Christians, and convert to the one and only TRUE religion, Pastafarianism!
Now I shall brace for the oncoming Christian-hate onslaught.
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@KiwiPasta
Welcome to the church of the FSM. Small point to make, you wrote
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“All people here who do not think this are heathens and should be treated as such. May they all be struck down by His Noodliness with some carbohydrate-based affliction.”
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The FSM is not vain and is fine with it if people don’t believe in Him. We don’t do Inquisition.
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