dude fsm sucks. i mean, what’s the point in believing in a bunch of pasta with 2 meatballs. the inventor of this thing was drunk when he thought about it. beer and stripper factories in heaven, and that the bunch of pasta created the universe when he was drunk… sucks. you are all inventing things and not remembering our real Creator, God and His son Jesus and the whole Christian belief. you are throwing away Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for some drunk bunch of pasta?. ………………………………………think well………………………………………
-gardal
dude fsm sucks
Published by Bobby Henderson July 26th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 395 Comments
395 Responses to “dude fsm sucks”
This is interesting…only Christians send hate mail…what about other religions? Shouldn’t they be pissed too? Or are they the only ones threatened?
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@ Booty and ۞ – You lot are hilarious! Keep it up! (Pun intended!!)
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Matt,
The Christians send hate-mail.
The Muslims send Boeings.
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Symbol dude – very nice.
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Maybe the christians don’t feel that they get enough pursicution.
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this is strange.
there is no such thing as a flying spagetti monster!!
GOD IS REAL..DAH!
:D
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@ LOIS
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Nih!
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@olivia LOIS
Care to elaborate? What is your criterion for real, that you believe in him?
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@LOIS
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Pasta is real..DAH
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Sounds almost as ill-informed as your statement.
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VOTE NAP
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BCA
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“beer and stripper factories in heaven, and that the bunch of pasta created the universe when he was drunk” I see you read our book.
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YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOO DUMB
CHRIST FOR THE WIN
YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOO DUMB
CHRIST FOR THE WIN
YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOO DUMB
CHRIST FOR THE WIN
YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOO DUMB
CHRIST FOR THE WIN
YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOO DUMB
CHRIST FOR THE WIN
YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOO DUMB
CHRIST FOR THE WIN
YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOO DUMB
CHRIST FOR THE WIN
YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOO DUMB
CHRIST FOR THE WIN
YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOO DUMB
CHRIST FOR THE WIN
YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOO DUMB
CHRIST FOR THE WIN
YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOO DUMB
CHRIST FOR THE WIN
YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOO DUMB
CHRIST FOR THE WIN
YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOOO DUMB
CHRIST FOR THE WIN
PASTA FTL IT BELONGS IN MY STOMACH
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Another dramatic blow to the pastafarian belief system. Thanks, Christian. btw, thaz sarcasm.
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BCA
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Christian seems to have a bit of a problem with the caps lock!
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BCA,
Wise to point out the sarcasm. I suspect CHRISTIAN might be suffering from HDD.
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look, christian is trying the brainwashing thing. i don’t think it works without the metronome and shiny penny though.
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@Christian
?
(*)
/ \
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@Christian
^?^
(*)
/ \
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Just in case you missed it the first time…can you guess what it is??? I’ll give you a hint…it gets smaller the longer you look at it…that’s right!!! It’s your IQ…meow…
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۞
Jul 30th, 2007 at 11:49 pm
BCA,
Wise to point out the sarcasm. I suspect CHRISTIAN might be suffering from HDD.
*
I concur with that diagnosis, a serious case too :)
*
Hello Ships cat, good to see you again.
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@Red
Hello…I think Christian might be this guy…
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http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=281523
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The Lord is my f*cking shephard you little cu*ts…get off the property!!!
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Nah. That priest was far more eloquent than christian. Even when just cursing :)
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Hey that Cat’s back! :)
Hello kitty :p)
Hiya RDPW if you’re still on board :)
*goes to read the Cats link*
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most religions have positive aspects and some bits that suck major balls. for someone from one religion to dis another is freakin lame and as pastafarians i would have thought you were better than that, anyway beer and strippers is cool and pasta is tasty!
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Ah, but Aubergine, the positive bits and the “other” bits are not evenly shared out :) And besides : THEY started it! There!
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@ aubergine: surpirise! we call it eggplant!
most of us aren’t pastafarians as you would put it. some claim the title as we believe in what pastafarianism stands for, but not it’s actual theological purpose. a good proportion of us are in fact atheists (still pirates mind you), in which case we can attack any religion we like.
so there.
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@auberginesurprise and angryyoungatheist – I recommend that you see about reading the Gospel of the FSM. It is very enlightening.
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As pastafarians, we try to be nice and understanding of others fantasies. However, as pirates, it can be tough not to knock others around a bit. It is a pastafarians biggest challange.
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hey, auberginesurprise, why don’t you take the 30-day trial of CoFSM? Try out FSMism for 30-days, if you don’t like it, I am sure that you your god will take you back. Please see the Gospel for full details of this offer.
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Are they sure that priest wasn’t father Jack Hackett?
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@ OEW
i’ve read the FSM bible. i don’t believe it. i believe in the satirical ‘bring down Intelligent Design’ side.
hope you found that enlightening.
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angryyoungatheist – You need to relax. I am glad you read the Gospel. You don’t have to believe it. After all, it is in the humor section of the book store.
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I don’t get why it’s in the humor section. I just got my copy so I still have some reading to do, but…..why doesn’t it deserve the same respect as the other made up gospels????
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How bout’ be put the king james bible in the humor section, or better yet the horror section?
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Ha…horrow section. That’s exactly the reason why I never have, nor never will, read it. I was almost convinced to read it a few months ago, but I figured if I were to read a bible, why not read the Torah, since I am Jewish and all…well actually a non-practicing Jew (ok, so maybe I never practiced, being Jewish to me is more of a cultural thing). But I am a practicing Pastafarian, and I am reading the true Gospel.
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RAmen
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Obviously these people who are bashing FSM don’t understand the point of this whole religion. I am a Roman Catholic and my beliefs are still grounded in Christianity. To me FSM makes just as much sense as Scientology, cults, and all the retarded Christian based religions ie. Mormons. FSM shows how easy it is to start a religion even if it’s based on something as ludicrous as a bunch of flying spaghetti. It gives a fun outlet to those who think that organized religion is based on just as much fact as FSM and even pokes fun of those who are part of organized religions. I can take a joke, (and to those who actually believe this your just as retarded as the people who posted the original comment,) and I think this whole thing is hilarious. So to all of you nay sayers screw off!
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@angryyoungatheist
¨i’ve read the FSM bible. i don’t believe it. i believe in the satirical ‘bring down Intelligent Design’ side.
hope you found that enlightening.¨
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RAmen to that. I´m in the hardline atheist section of the Pastafarian congregation too. And having fun in the process of ridiculing ID.
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Although I can’t really tell if you’re being sarcastic or not, I will take you seriously, because FSM would want me to. He has told me to tell you that despite your harsh, unholy words and intolerance for others, He will spare you on decision day. For He is a kind, forgiving spaghetti monster. He also told me to tell you “chill out, G” and that’s all I got. After that the reception got bad and we got disconnected. I guess that’s the way it goes… the Verizon service in Heaven is only so-so.
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@ marcom catholic
why does your religion make more sense than pastafarianism?
@ RPG
Thanks
Ramen
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How can you bad mouth other peoples beliefs!!!!
And as far as i have read your good old Jesus and co could be alot of old Bulls*@t anyways. So if you can give me some hard solid proof that Jesus and co is all true then i might listen to what you have to say (i will warn you know you wont convince me, i know this stuff)
All hail his noodleness!!
Anyway if you are such a good christian then why dont you just forgive us all. Is that not what your god preaches. RAmen!!!!!
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@marcom catholic – you need to talk to some of the born agains and evangelicals. Their brand of christianity is nothing like roman catholic. So different in fact, that you will look at them like they are loonie.
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@beastlt12 – I had to ask the book store babe to look it up for me. I thought it would be in the religious section. Just more oppression for FSMism.
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Original post states: “you are throwing away Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for some drunk bunch of pasta?.”
If jesus chose to sacrifice himself, well sucks for him. I for one would never wish to crucify myself, unless I also had a chemical imbalance.
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Actually jesus chose to sacrifice himself because mankind was blighted with the incredible fruit eating first sin.
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Man, I can see where that would just be totally worth it. “Okay, all you fruit eaters, I am Jesus, your lord and god and I will allow myself to get nailed to a cross to save you all from having to live with the trauma of your ancient forefathers and evil foremother of the fruit eating variety.”
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Crowd of on lookers. “Oh praise Jesus, for his sacrafice, I hate apples.”
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“Oh speaking of apples, anyone got some rotten ones?”
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LMAO…too funny, and true.
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Don’t throw the rotten apples, the unripe ones hurt more.
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Why are we so surprised that christians/catholics are hypocrits? Their main books have so many contridictions that a pirate can’t make heads nor tails of it.
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I am quoting Jon from July 27th:
“Christianity: the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.”
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Send in the straight jackets for them, wait, one is running the US. Yikes!
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OMFSM! I am so saving that quotation, that’s prolly the best one I’ve heard yet.
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RAmen to that!
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Marcom Catholic, I do hope that you know that you proved yourself no less “retarded” (though I hate to use the word in any derogotory fashion) than those you insulted by saying “and to those who actually believe this your just as retarded as the people who posted the original comment”. I believe that “you’re” is the word you were searching for. I’m sorry, but the phrase at that you wrote makes no sense at all. I am also somewhat insulted at your lack of tollerance for what you call “retarded Christian based religions”. If this is the way you see things, isn’t Christianity in itself a “retarded Judaism based religion”? I do hope you come back and read some of the comments you recieved. It would do you good to learn a thing or two (especially about grammar).
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Heathen! Burn the nonbeliever!
…Burn him…
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Bob Saget, sorry about your spelling. That still gives you no right to be so outright rude.
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Prometheus Aug 2nd, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Heathen! Burn the nonbeliever!
…Burn him…
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Yeehaa! I’m game … erm, don’t suppose you’ve got a light have you?
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@STE – sorry dude, but as long as you are pointing out grammar and spelling, tollerance is actually spelled tolerance.
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We are all guilty of mispelled or mis-grammared verbiage in our zeal to get down the next zinger.
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All of you pastafarians responding violently to this, remember the first “I’d really rather you didn’t”:
“I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.”
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Yeah yeah…I prefer this one myself:
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5. “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.”
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RAmen (:))
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Would it be blasphemy to gather together with friends, play funky music, drink Belgian beer, and eat the FSM’s noodly bounty? If no, is there an appropriate day set aside for such activity? The beer doesn’t have to be Belgian, but we really like the Trappist’s products-especially when they are hard up and willing to sell their 12%+ beers-this only happens when they need money—but anyway—funky music, beer, and an FSM component-OK yes??? How about Thursday service @ 8:00?
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I have instruments and a P.A.
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And a drummer-a good one!
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