dude fsm sucks. i mean, what’s the point in believing in a bunch of pasta with 2 meatballs. the inventor of this thing was drunk when he thought about it. beer and stripper factories in heaven, and that the bunch of pasta created the universe when he was drunk… sucks. you are all inventing things and not remembering our real Creator, God and His son Jesus and the whole Christian belief. you are throwing away Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for some drunk bunch of pasta?. ………………………………………think well………………………………………
-gardal
dude fsm sucks
Published by Bobby Henderson July 26th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 395 Comments
395 Responses to “dude fsm sucks”
OEJ – thanks for the link. Looks like Texas will be the new Mississippi as education goes. I wonder if there is a new government movement for no state left behind.
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No state left behind… I am moving to Canada if our national government does anything of the sort.
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Wooo hooo hooo, One Eyed Jack! BRING IT ON!!!
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“I’ve been watching other religions and basically you can say any old load of s**t you like and somehow if you say its an allegory that makes it right.”
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Alright, so here’s my allegory:
There was a goat on the mountain. He was looking for some grass, but there wasn’t any. Because he was on a mountain. And when the Mothman came, they flew to safety in a nearby gymnasium. But the goat punctured all the basketballs on his horns and they were chased away by locals bearing torches. And there still wasn’t any grass.
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Not quite “The Allegory of the Cave,” but I wasn’t paying attention that day in philosophy anyway.
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Are we supposed to interpret this allegory?
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Guess what? I googled “Dale Scerri” (the person who has been posting hate-mail comments everywhere on the website) and found out that he is none other than the very same “gardal” that sent in this wonderful letter.
This in mind, I take back what I said earlier about the letter being faked – I guess he’s just not articulate enough to sound like a real person :)
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No time to post anything really spectacular – just a Rowdy Wenchy “hi” to Cap’nUberbob long time no post! And to Ihatemyspace! Hiya folks!
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Oh, and Ihatemyspace – I’m reading Plato’s Republic right now and I think that included the Allegory of the Cave…haven’t gotten that far yet – I can’t stay awake long enough to read more than a few pages at a time! :))
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۞
Jul 26th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
We are all the FSM’s son. Allegorically.
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I’m not, daughter perhaps, son i’m not.
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I don’t think you’re supposed to interpret religious allegories. That might lead to independent thought.
You just supposed to shut up and not ask questions.
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Good point angryyoungatheist,
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If those xians are going to go on and on and on about some block and a really nasty DIY accident or whatever happened, I’m going to nail some spaghetti to a cross and then we’ll be even.
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The FSM died for our dins.
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۞:
It actually died for our nourishment :-)
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Either way it was for our sallivation :)
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۞ writes: “The FSM died for our dins.”
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Oh, I like that! Will have to remember that one.
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OEJ
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@ ihatemyspace
That’s not an allegory. It really happened in Topeka, Kansas.
The goat, of course, refers to Satan (or “Old Horny!”).
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Anyway … Satan was out walking one day, I think it was a Tuesday. Could have been Wednesday now I think about it … I digress. So, Old Nick is out walking on the hills (things get exaggerated in allegory) looking to score some weed. He met his mate “Mothman” (or Eric to his mother) and they went to the local school ‘cos that’s where all the dealers would be.
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They go to the gym to meet the notorious “Towelie”. Alas, Towelie had got lost in the bathroom and smoked all the weed. In a fit of rage Old Nick and Eric started bursting Basketballs.
Unfortunately for Eric and Satan, the noise attracted the attention of a passing patrol of pentecostals.
They naturally assumed the noise, coming from a boys gymnasium, was that of rampant man sex and attempted to burn the sins away.
Honest!
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۞ Jul 26th, 2007 at 11:21 pm
“You just supposed to shut up and not ask questions.”
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Swallow?
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Shit! where did all these people come from :)
Helloooo OEJ Alchemist
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Alchemist
“Unfortunately for Eric and Satan, the noise attracted the attention of a passing patrol of pentecostals.”
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Pentacostals or Testacosticals?
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Hi Nikkiee. A swallow? I thought it was a swift?
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Probably :)
Sorry, been at an auto wrecking yard all arvo :)))
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Hahaha…you guys have me in a habit of double innuendos :) Was enthusing about CoFSM to one of Vietnam Vets that lives on site there, (asked owner once why he had no guard dog….he says “don’t need one…have these vets living on site” :), and amazed how many have vaguely heard of IDiot/YEC saga. Gave me warm feeling inside :))
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Billie was a mountain! Ethel was a tree growing on Billie’s shoulder! Moral of the story?
Don’t fuck with Billie and don’t fuck with Ethel!!!
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You started it Wench Nikkiee.
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Happy Friday.
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How about a short song to get the day going.
Ta Ra Ra Boom De A
Did you get yours today?
I got mine yesteday,
That is why I walk this way.
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This song reflects the smile on my face.
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One-eyed Wonderkin Jul 27th, 2007 at 5:08 am
“You started it Wench Nikkiee.”
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:)))))))))))))))))…….:))))))))))))))))))
I’ve done my good deed for the day then? ;)
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Another reason I took so comfortably to CoFSM….”Friday is my day” always forever one of my catch cries :)) Versatile though (;))
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I suggest that you go get some grog and a stripper to reward yourself. :)
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OEW
“How about a short song to get the day going.”
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:))) Following you from the front…it’s time to go to bed here on Friday :p)))
My from the future prediction is……..”Friday is an excellent day”…BUT…it’s also closer to Monday! Friday getas us through the rest of a mundane week (:))
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@ the ppl who thought of ‘em.
“the fsm died for our dins” “…for our salivation.” excellent!!
a new lyric here!
“the general’s very pleased!”
hint : australian shadow environment minister.
btw @ alchemist, yeah! its quite hard to get the other nail in! gotta have strong teeth for the hammer! easier to nail yourself to a d-pad. also, anyone heard of jack thompson the attourney? he’s the one saying games cause violence. that’s utter b.s. phew.
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Wench Nikkiee – you are forgeting Wednesday aka Hump Day. I have to admit, Wednesday is not as good for parties as Friday and Saturday, but you have to like the name.
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It is start of the day in the US East Coast.
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Since it is bed time for you, that is the best time to grab the stripper. ‘)
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RAmen
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know whats most weird bout this fundie? he never mentioned sexuality or even oars! no accusation of gayness. he never even said “hell” or “burn”. sad. bring back oars, i say! they’re worth a laugh.
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and don’t get me started on superglue! sigh.*nostalgia*
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idea! mass prayer! grab some pasta and recite the following: “oh my fsm, please bring us a fundie, and let that fundie be obsessed with oars and gayness and superglue. and may his keyboard have caps lock on permanatly. pleeease? ramen.” what you think?
p.s. take out the “pleeeaase?” if you want.
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oooh! pity we don’t worship an egg, cause we could say he died on the cress!
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WO – ease up on the caffiene. Drink some rum.
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Worship and egg? that would be silly. :)
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You know, you could just go trolling on their forums… I’m sure Alchemist could point you to some wonderful fishing holes, where you could catch a real whopper.
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We need to get more pirates! This whether disruption is terrible. I got stuck in Houstan, Texas on my way to South America because lightning had struck the control tower and the whether was too terrible for any landings/takeoffs anyway. Buh.
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Que el Monstruo de Espaghetti Volador te perdone…
May the Flying Spaghetti Monster will forget you…
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With enough you were would be snowed in.
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I hope that you are going somewhere nice in South America. I have heard good things about Brazilian women.
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Sorry, terrible typing. I meant to say:
With enough pirates, you would have been snowed in.
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@OEW
It to Equador for a few days and then Galapagos! What better holiday destination could a Pastafarian want.
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Hey Jingles, how goes it? I’ve been pretty well behaved recently, wrt trolling. My net-use is scary enough at the moment. Stumbling for religion yields good results :) e.g. I’ve just found this one:
http://www.godandscience.org/
“Provides scientific evidence for the existence of God and the reliability of the Bible”. Could be worth a look, I haven’t yet.
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@DPG – You’re not wrong! We drew the last test match with India because of the weather, we only needed one more wicket and half of the last day was lost! Oh yeah, some places in the South have been flooded too.
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Enjoy the Galapagos Islands (I think that’s right). Watch out for the Vampire Finches!
(couldn’t make a detour through Colombia and pick-up a couple of packages for me, could you? :D)
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@Alchemist
Looking out for vampire finches, iguanas, giant tutrles, you name it :)
I’m making enough detours already, sorry not to pick up your packages. Spending one and a half extra days here in Texas, the ultimate George W country, because of the frikking whether, grumble.
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That godandscience link was just a teaser aimed at me wasn’t it? Come on, admit it!
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DPG – hahaha. No worries with Colombia detour, I’ve got enough coffee to last.
Ya – we moan about the weather here but at least we don’t usually get extremes. I love thunder storms but not sure if I’d fancy a Southern US one.
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That link was a total coincidence – honestly! As soon as I typed “Stumbling for religion …” I thought I’d better check what was on now – that was the first site that came up. Not a very active forum but not dead, a few posts today.
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@ Alchemist – You don’t expect me to believe it was coffee you wanted DPG to pick up, do you?!?!?!? :)))
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@ DPG – I’m sorry to hear about your travel woes. We grow big storms in this part of the world! I hope you have a wonderful trip (once you actually get going!).
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@Rowdy
‘coffee’ is a euphemism for coke I was also unfamiliar with. I’m pretty sure Alchemist was referring to the white powder. And not the sort you put in your coffee either.
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@ DPG – That was my assumption!! :)))
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Gotta run!
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No. Coffee. On my word as a giant ant.
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Note to DEA. I was only joking! You can put the latex gloves and KY Jelly away. Not that I think you’re monitoring us – arghhh, sieve time.
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DPG – sounds like fun trip, except the Texas part.
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Alchemist – are you looking to avoid the import taxes or smuggling fee? Just like a pirate, always looking to rook the government. Best of luck with the venture.
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@Alchemist
Looked at the link to godandscience you put up. The forum is heavily moderated, no Darwinian-inspired posts allowed. I wouldn’t last there a tenth as long as you lasted on itpog.
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Speaking of itpog and science etc, has Humble Pie ever been back? Just before I left a couple of people posted they didn’t think his quotes were up to scratch (you included I believe?) and I haven’t read anything from him since. Or heard from him on radiological dating methods. Or papers on evolution.
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You know what nearly all the Hate Mail the Church of FSM receives has in common?
IT’S FROM CHRISTIANS.
So, as I’ve observed before, PRACTICING CHRISTIANITY* ~= HATING.
*(today’s American Evangelicals especially…. You know. Fox-watching Bushies.)
Exactly the opposite of what Jesus is supposed to have preached… & I personally believe that he did.
THAT’S WHY YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES.
(No, I don’t mean all Christians, I mean all hate-spewing ‘Christians.’)
Any questions?
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back again after a virus ran havoc over my laptop and a wekk full of vaction. unfortuentaly it seems that after two weeks christians are still yelling trash at us. sad.
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@cap’n- i got one. How many hate spewing christians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Answer:30. One to screw in the lightbulb. four to say it’s a omen from “God”. Five to exagerate about it to others and say it’s omen. and twenty to go to every single website and yell trash at other religions.
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