dude fsm sucks. i mean, what’s the point in believing in a bunch of pasta with 2 meatballs. the inventor of this thing was drunk when he thought about it. beer and stripper factories in heaven, and that the bunch of pasta created the universe when he was drunk… sucks. you are all inventing things and not remembering our real Creator, God and His son Jesus and the whole Christian belief. you are throwing away Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for some drunk bunch of pasta?. ………………………………………think well………………………………………
-gardal
dude fsm sucks
Published by Bobby Henderson July 26th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 395 Comments
395 Responses to “dude fsm sucks”
My apologies, DutchPastaGuy. I concede my knowledge of His Noodliness is a little limited at this stage due to my short duration as a member of the church. I will make a point to purchase the Gospel and study it in it’s smallest details.
I once again apologise, it was wrong of me to make such a bold statement when my spiritual journey in the church has only just begun.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
No problem KiwiPasta
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I have seen the light! I completely understand now! And I have finally found my religion! FSM is it, for now and for ever. Thank you, RAmen.
Groeten aan de Nederlandse gelovigen hier!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Welcome to the rest of your life SpagehettiQuattroFromaggi.
RAmen! You have been touched by his noodly appendage!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hey, you say that beleiving in a lump of pasta is stupid, yet can you not see the irony of then going and worshipping some bearded dude on a cloud (before you jump down my throat, puritan, i mean metaphorically!)
i dont mind christians, like the guy who owns this site, but i HATE the ones like you who are so closed minded that they cant see past their own noses except when theyre looking at some book thats not even any good for kindling. and i should know!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@SpaghettiQuattroFromaggi Sep 14th, 2007 at 1:06 pm “…Groeten aan de Nederlandse gelovigen hier!”
.
Een Nederlandstalige Pastafari erbij, of wéér een grapjas met vertaalcomputer?
.
Et pour les Flamands la même chose…
.
The last sentence only serves to distinguish between Dutch and Flemish people here… no use looking that one up: it’s part of Belgian linguistic(al?) history!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
ok i think this site is full of shit how can there be a flying spagetti monster it is theoreticaly impossible to have a monster made of spaggetti and it can fly how does it fly how was it made and who ever made this site is full of shit and should go die for being such a dumb fuck i hate the person that made it u arer stupid i cant beileve how any one could beileve this crock of shit and who ever beileves in this fsm is a complete nutta i hate this sit and who ever doesnt leave hate mail on it shoud die cause there gay GO FUCK YOURSELF “FSM” if you are real witch i highly dout
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@me (not myself, the dude that posted a Oct. 10 2007 at 17:46)
1: Please learn to type.
2: Please apply the same skepticism you apply to FSMism to every other religion (including any you may believe in).
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@me
.
You are an idiot.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Does anyone think that there might be a relationship between monosyllabic names and lack of intellect?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@me
.
Oh, and before you try to be smart, if I were talking about myself I would have addressed it to ‘myself’ not ‘me’. I can speak proper English.
.
Also – you’re still an idiot.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ (you)
First of all, I don’t think that, even though you used such a title, you could comprehend that using the term “me” would mean I was actually addressing anyone other than “myself”, the correct term were I to develop a split personality and feel the need to type it out.
Secondly, your clear and compelling argument with such poetic turn of phrase and beautiful use of the whole English language has me enthralled! Please, lead me, for I just can not go on without such achingly soul-stirring pearls of wisdom!
Finally I beg you, provide me with the meaning of satire?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ (you)
And yet another fundie proving they are really an un-Xian, hypocritical, under-educated, illiterate, unoriginal, self-hating closet homo.
May His Sauce be upon you.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Fromunda His Big, Meaty Balls!
Can I Hear A RAmen!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
lilwench – pure poetry.
.
@me – Other name calling, you got no game. Bring something to the table.
.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I don’t know what satire means, guys.
.
I guess I’ll just sulk and scold things that I don’t understand until I do.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Guys-
I’m new to pastafarianism (if thats correct spelling), but I think I’d rather stick to being loosely Lutheran. Basically, I thinkaht t the Adam and Eve stuff is bullshit at the highest level, and a Pasta monster is just as retarded (but awesome). I like the fact that this religion pokes fun at the stupidity of other religions, and I absolutely love that you guys can be devout believers in this. It’s not any more unbelievable than Christianity, so saying anything like that is just idiotic. I think I’d prefer to stick to my belief in evolution and global warming, and leave religion for the damn republicans.
Henderob – you are a complete idiot. You choose to make fun of the FSM establishment because you do not understand it. Where the hell is “our lord and savior” Jesus Christ, anyway? Are you really going to believe this stuff written in a 2000 year old book that is known to have either been exaggerated or extorted beyond fact to make people fear a god that might not exist? Yes, it’s based on historical fact, but it’s far from what it was. I don’t think you even get the point of Christianity, dumbass.
Bob Saget – Who the HELL do you think you are? Saying “GAY AS HELL” is also a stupid statement because I know more sensible gay people than sensible straight people. I’m not going to criticize your spelling, but rather your superior, stuck-up attitude. I have a feeling that you are one of the most ignorant people to post on here. Why did you choose the name “Bob Saget” anyway? That guy is a retarded fuck. Screw you and your Latvian origins.
Anyway, I just want to drop a line saying that I think that you guys worship an excellent religion. It shows a great amount of open-mindedness, and I love how it puts down these assholes who say they’re holy men (That means you, Nazi-Pope). I know I’m far from holy (look at my language), but I’m just glad that I don’t mock Pastafarianism because it’s “a little out there.” May your religion grow and gai strength, and may there be moe pirates to end Global Warming, because Louisiana is now officially way too hot. ARGH!!!!
I’ll see y’all at the beer volcanoes!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
me Oct 10th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
“who ever doesnt leave hate mail on it shoud die cause there gay”
.
I just love homophobia. *rolls eyes*
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
We must not forget love of the butchery of the English language, be it the English English language, or the American English language, in both it should be “they’re gay.”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Let´s not forget the inquisitorial part of that “me” post:
“GO F*CK YOURSELF “FSM” if you are real witch i highly dout”
If you are real witch i highly dout.
Does “me” mean to say that, if His Noodly Flyingness was a witch (somewhat improbable, a monster being genderless and all) he would highly put it out? (to dout = to put out)
strange, anyway. ;) It´s guys like these who present an easy target…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hold on one mother fucking minute.
Is that the same ‘me’ who was posting about christen love on other hate mail posts (such as the “you no wat is stupid” one)?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ Pluto
I’ve held on for a mother fucking minute, and i have an answer. Yes, it is the same ‘me’ who has been trolling all of our pages. let’s hope that one of his forums is one of the one’s we’re invading.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
i think i made a rather confused little sentence there…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Yer this is the one:
” me
Oct 10th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Iron Bess:
first i think you have some interesting thoughts, for I never said I believe in an “invisable sky fairy”, that would be odd. I believe that there is an omnipotent God. I also know to be human is to error. The sad thing is many people have used God as an excuse to do awful things, however you cant blame God for people’s actions. I find even atheist/ agnostics have done very wrong things. I am sorry if someone that was a christian may have hurt you, but you cant blame God. Human nature is to destroy people have had millions of excuses, but if you read the bible the only 2 RULES to follow is to love one another and to love God. How can you argue with that? I have never heard anyone say it is wrong to love, and true christianity is all about love. As far as evil things done in the name of God, or God’s will, well I guess you have to take a step back and question, did it better humanity? If not why would a God who created man want to destroy them? No he wouldnt. He wants a relationship with his creation, not seperation and destruction. Sorry once again for preaching I just think you should try to understand the true form of christianity.”
Is this the same guy? If it is then he’s a bit 2 faced.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Dose he have some kind of dual personality disorder or is he just a lying cunt!? So much for his christen love shit, he’s just as hypocritical as all the rest. This just validates my hatred and anger.
Pity cos, for just a little bit there, I thought we had one who might comprehend logic and reasoning. Once again the world is a dark place.
To conclude: ‘Me’ you are a 2 faced, lying, conniving pathetic excuse for a human being! I live in Portsmouth England, name the time I’ll name the place. The hard interchange under the shadow of the Spinnaker tower. If your god loves you that much he will stop me from bitch slapping the shit out of you. If not I will happily stamp on your balls till they pop like bubble wrap so you can never have kids to impart you hatful lies a pone.
Species traitor!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ Commodore Angryy- I got an email in my in box in Spanish or something. Anything to do with you?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Pluto, i speak no spanish. i think i know how to say ‘how much does that cost’ but i certainly don’t know how to spell it. what’s the email address?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Can’t access my hotmail from work. They block it. Do you have my E-mail?
Sorry everyone if I killed the mood. It’s just this is the sort of thing that get to me the most. Deceiving for the most un-noble or reasons. Like the whole WMD bull.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hi Pluto!
Have you got the email from Alchemist yet?
It’s an invite to join our non-existant secret group which has absolutely nothing to do with taking over the world – if not I will send you one later.
@ everyone regarding “me” – I think the split personality fits perfectly with Xianity – “I love you” “Worship me or burn in hell” makes perfect sense to me! ;)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Yes I emailed him from work yesterday.
On a more jolly note I’ve just been emailed this years Darwin Awards.
.
Here is the glorious Winner:
1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
.
And now, the Honourable Mentions:
.
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
.
3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oops lost the ret cos of those weird brackets! Here’s the rest from mention 4.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to
Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
.
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
.
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan , at
5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
.
******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
.
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.
.
In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends and family .. unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
LOL!
I love the Darwin awards :)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Pluto Oct 11th, 2007 at 3:21 am
“Here is the glorious Winner:
1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.”
.
Yay…..hahahahahaha
RAmen to James Elliot for his contribution to cleaning out the shallow end of the gene pool.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Frightening thing is that the awards just seem to get better and better every year.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
In some cases it is a blessing for mankind these people don’t get a chance to breed….
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
If anyone is considering watching the movie entitled ‘the Darwin Awards’, i would only suggest it if you are a smalll time admirer of said awards. if you are a fan, it’ll just ruin the whole thing.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Gardal, you can capitalize God, Jesus, and His, but you are somehow unable to use the caps lock at the beginning of a sentence.
I so sorry the FSM did not bless you with intelligence.
Ramen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
dude fsm sucks.(why must you all mock our Lord and Savior?) i mean, what’s the point in believing in a bunch of pasta with 2 meatballs.(what’s the point of believing in the christian god? same poop different toilet) the inventor of this thing was drunk when he thought about it.(and he did a marvelous job, don’t you think so?) beer and stripper factories in heaven, and that the bunch of pasta created the universe when he was drunk… sucks. (so, burning in hell for eternity and a god who wont show his/her/its face doesnt suck?)you are all inventing things and not remembering our real Creator, God and His son Jesus and the whole Christian belief.(yes, BELIEF, not fact. we have as much proof of FSM as you do in god and jebus) you are throwing away Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for some drunk bunch of pasta?. (dude, we aren’t throwing anything away, we are simply choosing to believe what we want, kind of like you christians, only we don’t brainwash our children before they can speak, we let them choose)………………………………………think well………………………………………(oh don’t worry I am)
-gardal
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
This is my very favorite type of hate mail. I love it when someone takes us seriously, and then blasts us for believing in something nonsensical, while simultaneously citing the very absurdities we’re parodying. Good times.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Also the fact that he assumes Pastafarians are male..starting the sentence with Dude, possibly Dudette would acceptable as in “Dudes and Dudettes ?”
Still, our Main Dude For The Gig will forgive him when the day of Judgement is near and unlike an eternal fiery dip that we would get, he will instead be just placed at the back of the queue… unfortunately this means cold pasta and beer that has been opened and gone flat but hey who cares…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
No Gardal we throw nothing away, we simply are fed up with all the crap the chuch puts out on a weekly basis, we formed a group to talk about what we are, and to remind mankind that logical conclutions have carried us father then blind belief
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
God….Jesus…what about Allah, Buddha, Zeus, or Odin??? Are these not valid gods? Isn’t each one worth our time? Can’t we just quit arguing about who has the best invisible friend? I grew out of imaginary friends years ago to be quite honest!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Haha..thats a huge ass load of bullshit..
You belive in a piece of floating fucking pasta?
Oh my god…bobby seriously your a fukin joke everyone laughs at you…
Have fun in hell with those strippers with STD`s your talking about.
Haha thanks for the fucking laughs…
By the way: This isint a church, either. Its an online community of fuking retards.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
u must hav no balls.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I did think well. I thought for myself and where this whole Christianity thing was taking me. Now I’m not Christian.
Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you and may His Sauce rain down upon you,
-GM
RAmen
If you have any questions about or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net
Like or Dislike:
0 
0