This is a free service for Pastafarians:
Register your laptop here. You’ll be given a unique “home page” address for your internet browser. When you connect to the internet, your IP address will be recorded, and then you’ll be redirected to google.
In the event that your laptop is stolen, report it to the police, and then email me. If the thief connects to the internet, we’ll have their approximate location, and their current Internet Service Provider. There’s a decent chance of getting your laptop back.
It’s still in experimental stage but it’s fully functional. I wish I made this a couple weeks ago (before my laptop was stolen).
Anyways, try it out here. Let me know what you think.