I did some analysis on global mean temperature vs. the number of pirates and have come to a startling conclusion: Pastafarianism will bring the next ice age!
As demonstrated in the attached graph, by extrapolating the data we find that only 135752 pirates would be required to bring about the next ice age. This number of converts is well within reach! We’re doomed!
-Travis
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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She is mine, you skinny Brit! Leave Hermione’s cleavage alone!!
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Harry Pooter and the Dream of Wetness
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Harry Pooter and the Hairy Pooter
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Harry Potter and the “I Hope J.K. Rowling Is Fooling Us All And Intends To Write An Eighth Book Because She Can’t Possibly Tie Up All The Loose Ends In Book Seven”
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Harry Pooter and the Unfortunate Acne
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Harry Pooter and the Case of Herpes
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Harry Potter and the Hedwig Affair
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Harry Pooter and the Mysterious Rash
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I think Harry is going to end up with Moaning Myrtle, personally :)
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“Harry Potter and the Gloomy Ghost Wedding”
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Crookshanks Jun 29th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Meow meow meow! Yowl! Mew meow!
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I lurve pussy. I am hawt!
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@ Ships Cat – If you are out there buddy we have another cat here! :))
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Meow! I want to meet you, Ships Cat! I’ve never been on a ship but I heard there are mice and rats there — yum! I live in a castle with a bunch of sexually repressed teenagers who wave wands around and generally make a mess of everything. It’d be nice to talk to an INTELLIGENT BEING for once! My e-mail address is crookshanks@hogwarts.com. Meow!
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(Just kidding about the e-mail!)
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Hoot hoot hoot!
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(Translates to: “I eat cats. Bring ‘em on.”)
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I like the attention my little lackey gives me.
It’s not Hawt. But it really shows what an asswipe *it* is.
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I like the attention from all my little lackeys and sycophants. They’re so sweet I throw them a bone now and then. I’m so generous I am.
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@ Crookshanks – I don’t know if we can get Ships Cat out to play – although it’s not a bad time of day in the part of the world where he lives. Maybe… Here Ships Cat! Here boy! I know, calling a cat is silly but he’s an unusual cat!
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Paris you’re the best! You *ARE* sooooo hawt!
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Harry Pooter and the Paris Hilton Video
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Harry Pooter and the Magic Wand in his Pants
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Harry Does Paris. Now That is Hawt!
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@ BCA – Magic Wand in His Pants is fabulous! My brain stopped in its tracks…nothing I had was that good! :))))
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Paris Hilton Jun 29th, 2007 at 6:03 pm
Would someone please kill me?
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Noooooooo! No Paris!
Who will we worship and strive to emulate then? You are so funny and so clever too. You are Hawtest Paris!! Don’t listen to all those others because they’re just jealous of you! You’re a star Paris!
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@ tacosontuesday – I had tacosonfriday. Does that help?
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Hi everyone
I’m 14 and I think Pirates are cool and PoTC rocks. I’m getting some Pastafarians to join at my school and I think Paris Hilton sucks big time.
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Hi Taylor! Welcome and RAmen! PoTC does rock! I haven’t seen the third one yet – I hate movie theaters! Kudos for getting more people to join!
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I see you haven’t thought this through, as the climate nears ice age temperatures the number of pirates will decrease, upping the temperature enough to stave off decimation, of course the opposite could olso happen. the impending doom may force normal poeple all over the world to become maverick pirates, accelerating the temperature drop and sealing our fate.
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FSM Dammit! I’ll have to trade in the jolly roger bikini for sure…can we figure out how to find a nice balance in global temperature?
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Bah, bring on the ice age. Australia needs the rain (any ice would melt).
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Hi Jingles! I’m sorry you need rain…I know this! I don’t know what area you live in but I understand that some areas are really really desperate. We’ve had a drought here in Oklahoma for years and years but my town is making national news for how much rain we’ve had so far this year. We have several areas of town completely under water today…I’d send you some if I could!
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Rain is Hawt! Except for when there’s too much of it in Oklahoma. Not Hawt.
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I am going with a friend to the Harry Potter launch party on the 20th july! Ha!
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No that’s a DVD I want to buy.
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Paris Hilton sucks big time and wants some ‘tention eh? Come ‘ere my little chickadee an’ I’ll give ya some big ‘tention.
Say Arr!! My my what a big mouth you have Paris. Oowee you do suck big time don’t ya. Ya is relly is a hawt little thing!! ARR OOOH YEAH!!
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The last book is Harry Potter Sucks the Big Green Weiner. Or for short, Harry Potter Sucks!
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Harry Pooter and the bunch of homo hooters.
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You guys are a joke! what do u think this is.. seriously…figure it out…Like PIRATES!!! N ice age n all that.. wow…. what do u have to back this data or info up.. really now… oh n sweet name ….. Flying Spaghetti Monster.. ya thats sumthin else….
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Rick Chauds. If that’s supposed to be Rickshaws then it was shite! Sorry :(
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Rick Chauds, I don’t see your aim in insulting another religion. If you are trying to be funny, well, you just aren’t. Also, if you are going to insult us, please check your syntacs – and are those “….”s and “..”s supposed to be elipseses?
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and what the **** are the “n” for? is it stand for never had a brain in his life? becuase if so, then it suits you.
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Hello everyone,
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Off-topic, but a nice one for a change:
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http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-campatheist_27jun27,1,4522407.story??track=sto-topstory&coll=chi-news-hed&ctrack=1&cset=true
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To Red Dutch Pasta Wench…
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>I am going with a friend to the Harry Potter launch party on the 20th july! Ha!
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Me, too! A bunch of us are going. I plan to go in costume if I can sew it up in time. Wait till you see who it’s going to be! ;)
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Ok, here’s another link:
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http://www.kentucky.com/news/state/story/100183.html
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This is one you’ll enjoy! Creationists are going at each other with lawyers etc. The original Australian Creation Ministries and USA based AiG are having a row about the high-profile role of Ken Ham. No matter how this ends, just sit back and enjoy, see how they damage each other.
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Marry me, Paris.
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Red Sonja Jun 30th, 2007 at 7:23 am
“The last book is Harry Potter Sucks the Big Green Weiner. Or for short, Harry Potter Sucks!”
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Harry sucks? Really?
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Taylor Jun 29th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
“Hi everyone
I’m 14 and I think Pirates are cool and PoTC rocks. I’m getting some Pastafarians to join at my school and I think Paris Hilton sucks big time.”
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Paris is Hawt!
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Paris does suck. ;)
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“Harry sucks? Really?”
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Yup. ;)
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Lord of the Pirate Fish Jun 30th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
“and what the **** are the ‘n’ for? is it stand for never had a brain in his life? becuase if so, then it suits you.”
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“N” stands for Noodle.
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_Stereotypical Environmentalist… Jun 29th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Snape dies in the first chapter of the 7th book anyway. Pretty much everyone knows that by now.
_sarcastic synesthesia Jun 29th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
I must agree with Stereotypical Environmentalist on the Harry Potter issue, I was disappointed to learn that Snape was really Harry’s father and that he died so quickly, too expected.
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What the hell? WHAT the HELL?! good FSM, you better have been joking.
@Wench Beth, HP, and Aristotle- You once would have had to compete w/ me for the title of ultimate HP fan, but I’ve been kinda pissed off with how he’s been acting in the last two books. Still, am totally a fan. Just not ultimate.
Ann Coulter is #1 evil. Umbridge is 2nd. Bush doesn’t cut it cause he’s too stupid to really know what he’s doing. Evil implies malicious intent. I don’t think he actually intends for all this shit to happen. But I’m still allowed to hate his twisted guts.
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Well, I haven’t heard the part about Snape being Harry’s father…
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