I did some analysis on global mean temperature vs. the number of pirates and have come to a startling conclusion: Pastafarianism will bring the next ice age!
As demonstrated in the attached graph, by extrapolating the data we find that only 135752 pirates would be required to bring about the next ice age. This number of converts is well within reach! We’re doomed!
-Travis
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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I don’t understand!
W007! 2nd!
That’s still a whole lot of pirates though. Do we have that many?
In any case, the ice age wasn’t all bad. Mamoth roasts, penguin sledding, great ice castles to be defended at all costs….. and we’ll still have rum. It might be synthetic rum, but pirates will still have a place in this new era.
The FSM created all of the global warming because he was upset with us for not becoming pirates, so I think the more Pastafarians we can create, the better. I think at one point we will have perfect weather, but less and less natural disasters like tornados, hurricanes, tsunamis, ect.
@L’tuae
You’re completely right, I don’t see why people are so afraid of a new Ice Age, I’m mean we’re all going to die December 2012 when a comet hits the earth, so I say let’s go down partying!
RAmen
so, too many and we freeze, too much and the icecaps melt, whats this magic number?
@Pope Pixel I
I was told the nano-sized robots will kill us at 2016?
Pixel! I read that the comet/asteriod thing wasn’t going to hit, was going to miss by a few thousand miles. Like teens of thousands. Correct me if I’m wrong? Are we talking about the same one?
@Cap’n (not) Sophisticated
Oh yes, if you’ve been told about some form of armageddon, then it’s going to happen. There’s about 500 things that will “happen” between now and 2100 that’ll destroy the earth, that’s how doomed we are.
@L’Tuae
I don’t know, but the 2012 comet o’ doom is my favorite of all the theories, so I pretty much stick with the fact that we’re totally screwed.
.
RAmen
End of the World: 9:27 AM, December 25, 2012
@Pixel- may I see a link for the comet-o-doom? I like to be up to date on all conspiracies and apocalypse theories.
Hey!!, just did a search- that Dec 22 2012 thing is based off the ancient Mayan calender. Why’d they do that? Maybe they have a thing against twos.
The fact that the Mayans predicted that concerns me. Those people were truly brilliant. Wacko, but brilliant.
Oh, I got the day wrong. I could’ve sworn it was the 25th.
this graph is off on the fact that:
1. pirates came after the ice age when it started to warm up
2.there are at least a thousand pirates out there. For example there are actors who play as pirates (ex. jonny depp as jack sparrow) and there are pastafarians who, basically, are pirates at heart.srry to bust the bubble but that’s off.
RAmen
The only reason the Mayans were wacko is because they were not pirates! They should have taken the Spanish ships and terrorized the sea.
It is Friday.
25th, 22nd, it’s only three days dif. Not that much. Then again, you could have fit a lot of partying into that time period.
It would be kind of sucky if it was on the 25th though.
“Look kids, Santa was here!” (looks out window, sees flaming torture and nasty crap)
“Aaaaahhhhh!!!!”
goos FSM, i hope not! (i don’t say good lord anymore) that would suck. right as i’m opening a laptop i see all the trees on fire and everything’s burning. i be “Damn! now i die and i don’t get to try this out!!!” that would be torture to me.
@ OEW - Ya, too bad about the smallpox thing. Of course, then the world would be ruled by people who believe in human sacrifice…
Everyone, today is a friday, the holy day of FSM. everybody who came on this site wearing anyform of pirate regalia, (even if it was just an eyepatch or pirate hat) FSM is happy for you.