I did some analysis on global mean temperature vs. the number of pirates and have come to a startling conclusion: Pastafarianism will bring the next ice age!
As demonstrated in the attached graph, by extrapolating the data we find that only 135752 pirates would be required to bring about the next ice age. This number of converts is well within reach! We’re doomed!
-Travis
I don’t understand!
W007! 2nd!
That’s still a whole lot of pirates though. Do we have that many?
In any case, the ice age wasn’t all bad. Mamoth roasts, penguin sledding, great ice castles to be defended at all costs….. and we’ll still have rum. It might be synthetic rum, but pirates will still have a place in this new era.
The FSM created all of the global warming because he was upset with us for not becoming pirates, so I think the more Pastafarians we can create, the better. I think at one point we will have perfect weather, but less and less natural disasters like tornados, hurricanes, tsunamis, ect.
@L’tuae
You’re completely right, I don’t see why people are so afraid of a new Ice Age, I’m mean we’re all going to die December 2012 when a comet hits the earth, so I say let’s go down partying!
RAmen
so, too many and we freeze, too much and the icecaps melt, whats this magic number?
@Pope Pixel I
I was told the nano-sized robots will kill us at 2016?
Pixel! I read that the comet/asteriod thing wasn’t going to hit, was going to miss by a few thousand miles. Like teens of thousands. Correct me if I’m wrong? Are we talking about the same one?
@Cap’n (not) Sophisticated
Oh yes, if you’ve been told about some form of armageddon, then it’s going to happen. There’s about 500 things that will “happen” between now and 2100 that’ll destroy the earth, that’s how doomed we are.
@L’Tuae
I don’t know, but the 2012 comet o’ doom is my favorite of all the theories, so I pretty much stick with the fact that we’re totally screwed.
.
RAmen
End of the World: 9:27 AM, December 25, 2012
@Pixel- may I see a link for the comet-o-doom? I like to be up to date on all conspiracies and apocalypse theories.
Hey!!, just did a search- that Dec 22 2012 thing is based off the ancient Mayan calender. Why’d they do that? Maybe they have a thing against twos.
The fact that the Mayans predicted that concerns me. Those people were truly brilliant. Wacko, but brilliant.
Oh, I got the day wrong. I could’ve sworn it was the 25th.
this graph is off on the fact that:
1. pirates came after the ice age when it started to warm up
2.there are at least a thousand pirates out there. For example there are actors who play as pirates (ex. jonny depp as jack sparrow) and there are pastafarians who, basically, are pirates at heart.srry to bust the bubble but that’s off.
RAmen
The only reason the Mayans were wacko is because they were not pirates! They should have taken the Spanish ships and terrorized the sea.
It is Friday.
25th, 22nd, it’s only three days dif. Not that much. Then again, you could have fit a lot of partying into that time period.
It would be kind of sucky if it was on the 25th though.
“Look kids, Santa was here!” (looks out window, sees flaming torture and nasty crap)
“Aaaaahhhhh!!!!”
goos FSM, i hope not! (i don’t say good lord anymore) that would suck. right as i’m opening a laptop i see all the trees on fire and everything’s burning. i be “Damn! now i die and i don’t get to try this out!!!” that would be torture to me.
@ OEW - Ya, too bad about the smallpox thing. Of course, then the world would be ruled by people who believe in human sacrifice…
Everyone, today is a friday, the holy day of FSM. everybody who came on this site wearing anyform of pirate regalia, (even if it was just an eyepatch or pirate hat) FSM is happy for you.
It’s raining too much to wear my pirate wench bikini today… :(((
I’m wearing my sword. XD
not raining here. even though we need it. I think fredricksburg hasn’t gotton water latly is because i am the only pastafarian/pirate for miles. but this is really wierd and i’m not lying. yesterday was 95 degrees and tomarrow is supposed to be 89. today, on a friday, the high was 76. how wierd is that? me think it’s evedence.
@ Aris - swords are sexy!
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@ Gaara - We’ve had a drought in Oklahoma for years…till this year. We have a weather station at my house and since mid March we have gotten 34.91 inches of rain. Too much of a good thing is still too much!
im wearing my jolly roger bandana to cover my horrible haircut hehheh
i like the cold bring on the ice age, and if we all die in 2012 ill die partying with a sword in one hand and rum in the other, but that wont happen because Nostradamus predicted earth would last until 3797 when we blew it up
Perhaps we’re a bit off. Didn’t the world end in ‘99?
Rowdiest Wench Jun 29th, 2007 at 9:48 am
“@ Aris - swords are sexy!”
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Swords are Hawt!
The end is near my rear.
Repant!!!
Why do you say repant, Paris? Don’t you mean unpant?
@ Aris - oops, ya, my bad! Swords are Hawt! :))
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Paris doesn’t wear pants…or underpants from what I understand!
A little late, but… congratulations, Jesuslovesme, on acquiring the initial response on this thread, which awards you the gold medal for your home country!
And congratulations, Dread Wench L’TUAE, on getting the silver and bronze!
You guys have all got it wrong. The FSM is going to deflect the 2012 comet with His noodly appendages. It’s been proven without a doubt. So there’s no worries; however, we can still pretend and have a HUGE party!
So, wait… I’m well aware that due to the influx of Pirates, the temperature will fall… But… Once the ice ace hits, does that mean that Pirates will no longer be able to use Pirateships, but they’ll have to upscale to Icebreakers?
Hey, I’m wearing my Pirate Republic T Shirt, it says “the beatings will continue until morale improves under a great big jolly roger. That has to count for something.
Hawt! Hawt! Hawt!
Pants! Pants! Pants!
Panties! Panties! Panties!
Underwear! Underwear! Underwear!
No underwear! No underwear! No underwear!
Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate!
Candies! Candies! Candies!
Paris! Paris! Paris!
Hawt! Hawt! Hawt!
.
>:0===Q<
(a little late?)
forget the sword. i got a cutlass. (unforcentaly i can’t wear it or put it in my room. My mom locked it up in the attic until i’m 14. I CAN”T WAIT HALF A YEAR!!!!
**p.s i decided to change from garra to this. garra isn’t even my name.**
Okay, now RW is messing with me….j/k.
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North Texas, here. Lots of rain for us, too.
.
RAmen
Wench Beth Jun 29th, 2007 at 10:23 am
“You guys have all got it wrong. The FSM is going to deflect the 2012 comet with His noodly appendages. It’s been proven without a doubt. So there’s no worries; however, we can still pretend and have a HUGE party!”
.
We could have one RIGHT NOW!
a wedding? i love weddings! Drinks all around! - Jack Sparrow POTC
who’s bringing the rum? i’m broke.
Hello, BCA!! You and Rowdiest are very welcome to send your rain north and south, respectively. Poor New Mexico needs a bit!
Swords are Hawt and smexy. So are cutlasses. And rapiers. And cannons.
To Aristotle… yes, being that it’s Friday, and also being that there’s no excuse needed, let’s have the party RIGHT NOW! I’ll start baking cookies!
poor VA as well. it’s all because of the fact that none of my parents, relitives, friends, nodody, is a pastafarian here in fredricksburg. ):
Lord of the Pirate Fish Jun 29th, 2007 at 10:29 am
“a wedding? i love weddings! Drinks all around! - Jack Sparrow POTC
who’s bringing the rum? i’m broke.”
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I just that movie last night with my aunt! It was her first time seeing it. I love Pirates of the Carribean.
@Wench Beth - Mmm…cookies. :))
Me, too! Those movies are the greatest! Except I cried for a half hour at the end of “Pirates 3″. I’m such a wimp.
same here. i’ve seen the third one. it’s a bit more grim and alot of people imporatant to the movie get killed.
OKAY A SPOILER IS BEYOND THIS POINT!!!!!!!! DON”T CONTINUE IF YOU HAVEN”T SEEN IT YET OR WANT TO KNOW WHO DIES!!!!!
Here’s who dies (last chance!!)…………………………………………………….Davy Jones……………..James Norrington………………………………….Will (big surpirise there. never saw it coming)…………………….elizebeth’s father.
And here’s a shock. we finally see Jack’s dad!!!! (and his mum’s head **shivers**)
Pie is needed as well. Pumkin pie. Or lemon meringue. Apple is yummy.
mmmmm…GOSH now i’m starving and i can’t leave the computer to go get something to eat! good thing i carry my pirate flask full of coca-cola around. ( it’s metal and has the jolly roger on it. got it for 15 bucks.) WHAT!!!! damn, it’s empty.
Wench Beth Jun 29th, 2007 at 10:36 am
“Me, too! Those movies are the greatest! Except I cried for a half hour at the end of “Pirates 3″. I’m such a wimp.”
.
No, you are not a wimp. You are a person who is unafraid to express her emotions.
Why is the coke always gone?
PECAN PI! That is what we need for the most perfectest party ever!
I am nuts.
hey we should sell that to coke. show jonny depp holding a coke can. then he starts talking for awhile then takes a swigs. then looks at it then says “Why is the coke always gone?”
we could make some $$ so we could finally make that pirate ship bobby hederson dreamed about.
@LoPF - Yeah, great idea!
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Got Coke?
To Lord of the Pirate Fish…
.
WARNING: PIRATES 3 SPOILER CONTINUED! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE YET!!!
.
Lord, did you wait in the movie theater and watch all the credits and SEE WHAT HAPPENED AT THE VERY END?! Will comes back to life for Elizabeth!!!!! If he had actually died, I’d probably kill myself in real life! So if you didn’t see the scene AFTER the credits, at the very, very end, you have to go watch the movie again — it’s worth the price to find out the REAL ending!!!
Yes, Aristotle, you are nuts — that’s why we LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
Oh, and I love pecan pi. One of my favorites. I don’t bake it too often because it’s basically a heart attack in a pie pan (I’m a health food junkie) but I sure do love the stuff! :)))
To Lord of the Pirate Fish… do you know what actor/musician played the part of Jack Sparrow’s dad?
i’m not lying this. for all the time i was upstairs it was sunny but when i came down on my computer and started talking to you. the sky started to darken. and just a few minutes ago it started to rain. i think the FSM has smiled on my today on this holy friday.
He was Hawt! I want to snort him when he dies!
That would be sooo HAWT!!!!
@wench beth. i saw it in the papers his name was Keth……RICHARDS! that’s it!
Keth Richards. he’s the guy
Yup! Keith the MAN! I started applauding in the theater when I saw him on the screen. Doesn’t he make a great pirate? I heard somewhere (don’t know if it’s true) that Keith had to have little or no makeup put on for the role because his face is already so craggy and weather-worn, just like a true pirate who’s been there, done that!
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Oh, and I almost died when he was playing the guitar in the movie! Go, Keith!!!
To Paris Hilton… you and Keith are both Hawt but you’re GROSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
Repant = Repent… Get it? Got it? Hawt!
I try Beth, I try.
@Paris - You try and http://youfail.org/
@ BCA - I do love messing with you! *sly grin* But I really do live in Oklahoma…just look for me under the continual stupid rain cloud! If you are in north Texas then you are the closest Pastafarian to me (sorry WB!!!!)
That’s ok, Rowdiest, Arizona Dan has been the closest to me (7 hours) for a while now — but you’re still my favorite! Ok, so here ya’ go: you drive down to BCA’s place and the two of you carpool the rest of the way to visit me! Yahoo!!!!
@ WB - Now that’s a plan!!! :)))) And a sincere thank you!
Perhaps I should mention that I myself am going to destroy the world at 5:30 PM on June 8, 5436273 ACE. I will be using this method: http://qntm.org/destroy#Fall-back%20methods (it’s #1, total existence failure)
I think it’s a fairly simple plan.
“Pants are for squares.”
“If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.” - Anatole France
“The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist knows it.”
We learn from history that we do not learn from history.
To Aristotle…
.
>Perhaps I should mention that I myself am going to destroy the world at 5:30 PM on >June 8, 5436273 ACE. I will be using this method: >http://qntm.org/destroy#Fall-back%20methods (it’s #1, total existence failure)
.
I am laughing so hard that I am crying! Oh my FSM!!!
“Blood makes good ink.”
“If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.” - Anatole France
.
How about, “If nearly fifty percent of the United States votes for a foolish president, he is still a foolish president.”
“Blood makes good ink.”
.
Yeah, that sounds like Harry Potter 2 to me! Tom Riddle’s diary!
How about, “If nearly fifty percent of the United States votes for a foolish president, he is still a foolish president.”
.
I certainly agree with you there.
Wench Beth
Jun 29th, 2007 at 11:41 am
“‘Blood makes good ink.’
Yeah, that sounds like Harry Potter 2 to me! Tom Riddle’s diary!”
.
It reminds me more of HP5 when Umbridge makes him write lines in his own blood.
Daniel Racieff the guy who plays HP in the movies (i think) got his hair cut. now he looks like a pansy throught the movie.
@WB “If 50% of America voted for George Bush then hated him later on, he’s still the stupid president.
That’s true, we “knew” that was actual blood! I hate Umbridge! Tom’s diary spewed red ink, which was probably blood, but they never actually said.
Lord of the Pirate Fish
Jun 29th, 2007 at 11:46 am
Daniel Racieff the guy who plays HP in the movies (i think) got his hair cut. now he looks like a pansy throught the movie.
.
Daniel Radcliffe is Pansyrific and Hawt!
Wench Beth
Jun 29th, 2007 at 11:47 am
That’s true, we “knew” that was actual blood! I hate Umbridge! Tom’s diary spewed red ink, which was probably blood, but they never actually said.
.
Umbridge is the most EVIL character in the HP books. Worser than Voldemort.
In the sixth book though she’s STILL AT THE MINISRTY!!!!!! what’s up with that? if i was HP I wouldn’t have made friends with the ministry either.
Look at what I found! These are very hard decisions to make.
http://youmustchoose.com/
It is really amazing that someone didn’t just off Umbridge altogether. I agree, she’s as evil as Voldemort and I can’t believe she retained her job at the Ministry. No, Harry is so not friends with the Ministry! They accepted that he was telling the truth and all, but he still thinks they’re a bunch of user-losers (the whole thing with Rufus Scrimgeour and all).
.
I can’t wait for the book release. I’m dressing up in character; wish I could post pictures here on this site after the event!
This is totally random but i must say it.
“You can always trust an untrustworthy person to be untrustworthy. It’s the trustworthy ones you got to watch out for. Because you can never tell when they’re about to do something…stupid” -Jack Sparrow POTC
@Aristotale
gosh some of those are just wierd. and cruel. i liked it though.
To Lord of the Pirate Fish… I love that quote from “Pirates”!!
me too. it’s my favorite.(at least so far) they might have a better one in POTC 4 that looks really cool
I’m out for a discussion of Harry Potter - I haven’t read any of them. I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn’t sleep for 3 days so I could finish the book! Way too obsessive…
.
@ LotPF - I didn’t mention earlier that I like your new name! :))
IS THERE GOING TO BE A POTC 4??????????
@WB of corse! remember jack and barboss a are searching for the fountain of youth and jack stole the map while barbossa stole the PEARL!
**just ignore the christian guy. he’s jealous of us.**
@Aristotle
Small variation of one of your quotes:
.
“When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called Religion” Robert M. Pirsig
DPG you lucky stiff. comment #100 award goes to you.
!cross. just shut up and leave us alone.
@1cross+3nails=4given
“you are all going to hell. hell is a place full of fire and smoke and endless suffering. your blasphemous remarks are a one way ticket straight there.”
.
Welcome to the church of the FSM. Shall I take of that straight jacket for you (thanks to Alchemist for that one originally)?
and shall we escourt you out of your padded foom?
okay that was lame but oh well.
1Idiot+1Bible=2Much Rubbish
room. shut up you damn chistian and leave us alone!
@1cross+3nails=4given
Ok, my standard first question to Christian fundies for you: how about the great variety in religions? Quite a few aren’t there, with very different beliefs. Look at Hinduis: reincarnation, tons of different gods, none of them called Jesus. Do you think all others are wrong? And if so, it doesn’t say much good about religion if you look at it from a global perspective, does it?
yeh considering if you add the remainder of religions(including us.). they do actually outnumber you.
a pretty bad case of dogma i think doc. i think this one’s a born again chistian
@1cross+3nails=4given
“All of the other religions you mentioned are false”
Yes, that’s what adherents of other religions often think too and even try to force down your throat *cough* Islam *cough*. So firm belief in a person he/she has The Truth is no guarantee. So what puts you above others then. They have their holy books that tell them how you are wrong for sure. So what puts yours or anyone elses above others? Not firm beliefs and old fairy tales obviously. So what then?
DutchPastaGuy,
.
That’s right it would appear that a majority of Americans don’t think George W Bush is a total C**T. But they’re wrong about that too.
oh you nailed him with that one. watch him say that they’re wrong
Fee, fee, fi, fi, fo-fo, fum
Look at Paris now, here she comes
Wearin’ her wig hat and shades to match
She’s got high-heel shoes and an alligator hat
Wearin’ her pearls and her diamond rings
She’s got bracelets on her fingers, now, and everything
She’s the devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress,
Devil with the blue dress on
Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress,
Devil with the blue dress on
Wearin’ her perfume, Chanel No. 5
Got to be the finest girl alive
She walks real cool, catches everybody’s eye
She’s got such good lovin’ that they can’t say goodbye
She’s a real humdinger and I like it like that
She’s the devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress,
Devil with the blue dress on
Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress,
Devil with the blue dress on
Soooo HAWT!!!!
@ Cross - You were sounding like For the Love of God for a while there! He didn’t give up so easily though! :)))
@1cross+3nails=4given
“You guys get nearly as riled up as christians do when I go on their sites and fuck with them.”
Hmmmm, how did I get riled up exactly, I only remember asking why you (as faking Christian) felt above others? And offering to take your straight jacket off.
.
Ok, you smell of being one of the regulars here under an assumed identity. Why not tell us who you were. Alchemist?
Ahhh Poor wittle Mikey.
Your jealously becomes you.
Sooo Not Hawt.
@Mike Honcho
Go on having fun, you’re not the first Pastafarian to pull that one. Most of us can take it without too much trouble.
“POTC 4??????????”
.
OMFFSM!!!! NO WAY!!!!1!1
All this attention just for me?
This is sooo Hawt.
You guys are the best!!!
Except that one that doesn’t have a backbone.
Not Hawt!!!
random person (not Mike Honcho) Jun 29th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
lets take a poll to see how many people hate Paris Hilton! I’ll be #1
.
I lurve Paris. I will be -1.
People Who Hate Paris: 0
Thanks Artie! Thats Hawt!
I’m Hawt! You’re Hawt!
So much Hawtness in the Summer!
1cross+3nails=4given Jun 29th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
“how could I be jealous of sinners like you. I am going to heaven to be with the Lord. You will be tortured eternally.”
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“Torture” is fun!
.
Torture! wOOOOOt!
Us Pastafarians are Hawt!
People who don’t care about celebrities and the insane lives they lead - 1
Being tortured internally is Hawt!
Wench Beth Jun 29th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
“It is really amazing that someone didn’t just off Umbridge altogether. I agree, she’s as evil as Voldemort….”
.
No, she is eviller than Voldemort.
@guy incognito - But our Paris is the real Paris. ;)
*Yeah* *More Props* *For Me* ******HAWT******
Sorry, I didn’t understand that, Paris. What were you trying to say?
Paris Hilton is hawt!
People who hate paris -1
Aristotle i think we shoul have a pull on who’s the eviliest one.
the choices are:
Voldemort
Umbridge
Snape
George Bush
Lawyers
Christians
it’s a hard choice. but please vote.
Paris is Hawt!!
@radiation man
People who hate Paris -2
Paris is so Hawt, I should marry her!
@Lord of the Pirate Fish -
VoldemortUmbridge
Snape
George Bush
Lawyers
Christians
Aristotle +1
“The Hierophant Jun 29th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Paris is so Hawt, I should marry her!”
.
Sweeetttttt!
I’m in Luvbe. Hawt!
Newest HP movie title…Harry Pooter and the Case of Crabs
Even Newer HP…Harry Pooter and the Playboy Issue
or Harry Pooter and the Uneasy Feeling in his Pants
no?
Harry Pooter and the Sticky Washcloth?
I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Snape dies in the first chapter of the 7th book anyway. Pretty much everyone knows that by now.
Most Evilest:
Voldemort
Umbridge
Snape
George Bush
Lawyers
Christians
Aristotle +2
.
People Who Hate Paris: -3
.
People Who will Marry Paris: +1
Stereotypical Environmentalist… Jun 29th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
“I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Snape dies in the first chapter of the 7th book anyway. Pretty much everyone knows that by now.”
Snape is Hawt! I hope he doesn’t die!
Bearded Clam Admirer Jun 29th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
“Harry Pooter and the Sticky Washcloth?”
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That’s the best one!
“The Hierophant Jun 29th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Most Evilest:
Lawyers
.
People Who Hate Paris: -3
.
People Who will Marry Paris: +1″
.
.
Hawt Hawt Hawt…..
“Paris Hilton Jun 29th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
I totally suck. I use that same joke over and over.
People who hate Paris: -2″
.
I agree! You do suck sweetheart.
But you ain’t me! I suck in the best way! You the worst way!
You Minus; 151,663,7874678,003,652
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Me; HAWT!
I must agree with Stereotypical Environmentalist on the Harry Potter issue, I was disappointed to learn that Snape was really Harry’s father and that he died so quickly, too expected.
All Potter talk aside, we need to get more pirates!
Paris Hilton Jun 29th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
“I totally suck. I use that same joke over and over.
People who hate Paris: -2″
.
I just changed my mind. People love my repetitive joke.
People who hate Paris: -4
sarcastic synesthesia Jun 29th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
“I must agree with Stereotypical Environmentalist on the Harry Potter issue, I was disappointed to learn that Snape was really Harry’s father and that he died so quickly, too expected.
All Potter talk aside, we need to get more pirates!”
.
HP is a Pirate, didn’t you know that?
HP bought Compaq last year!
That was Hawt!
Harry Potter is a pirate and a school dropout, he actually solves global warming in the last book, that last chapter is pretty interesting.
@Paris - Hawt! :))
Yes, show the love.
I just get to you don’t I?
Why *is* that? Because people *like* me.
And you’re just a loser?
*I’m holding my hand in L shape over my head*
In your honor.
BTW, that last post was for the *other* Paris.
HAWT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sure am famous I am!
I love it! I’m sooo Hawt.
And I don’t swear either. Hawt!