I heard some ID believer say that “the probability that humans have emerged from natural selection is the same as the probability that a monkey composes ‘Hamlet’ by randomly typing on a keyboard”.
Well, I happen to have a monkey (Sheila) that likes to type at random on a keyboard. And today she typed this (see the attached picture).
Evidence!
Giovanni
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Umm where are all the initial post claimers?
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Excellent Giovani. Give Sheila a big banana :))
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@ WN – I guess you are it for today! Woo hoo! BTW – I passed along your message to Wench Sara and she smiled from ear to ear and said “Tell her I said that’s awesome!” Thanks for brightening the life of a teenager! She needed it this week too.
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Hah!
Isn’t the ID theory the most random ideas of all? Its not that they only refuse to accept evolution, but they refuse to understand it!
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Can’t post here…testing….testing…
@Rowdiest Wench
“WN – I guess you are it for today!”
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Hahaha
I’ve mostly (mostly!) in the past avoided “those” posts unless it’s been something I could get my teeth into (so to speak). Liked to wait for someone else to get the thread running. Still I’ve always done my duty if it stayed bare for more than a few hours. (that doesn’t happen these days :))
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Glad the name gave Sarah a boost. :)
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Just in and out and the moment….doing some legwork around the net :))
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Hmm…. didn’t even use the wrong words in the first few tries…oh well :))
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@ WN – Yeah, I’m in and out too – trying to get stuff done around the house. It rained *again* today so no trips to the barn. :(
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Rain has cleared here now and there’s a bloody big bright hot (well warm anyway) thing in the sky (haven’t seen anything like that for weeks) so back into some outdoor work shortly (:) for me as well.
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@Wench Nikkiee Jun 27th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
“didn’t even use the wrong words in the first few tries…oh well :))”
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Was referring to a few responses that didn’t go :)
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Monkeys are Hawt!
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Hello Rowdiest Wench, hello Wench Nikkiee, and good lord, that is one really smart monkey. (how long did that take?)
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Congratulations, Wench Nikkiee, on acquiring the initial response on this thread, which awards you the gold medal for Australia!
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Hi, Dread Wench L’TUAE! Nice to see you again!
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That typed “random” picture of the FSM looks exactly like the one my kitty typed just last week! Coincidence? Or evolution sped up times 100,000?!
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kitty to monkey in one week? IDK, that stretches it a little- you think it’d stop at racoon along the way….
hello to you too! Most glad to be back!
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Doing a glance over recent posts, it seems you have picked up new frying pan skillz?
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Oh, yes, L’TUAE, no one gets past ME any more! Frying pans at the ready!
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Fry pans, Are Hawt!
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I was not aware anyone got past you in the beggining. People TRIED, I’m sure.
on a fun note, guess where I was for the past week?
well, in order not to waste posts, I’ll just say: EXPLOSIVES CAMP!
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damn. more writing tomorrow. Justice League is on!!!!^_^
heh. I am such a geek.
and before Paris gets to it- geeks ARE Hawt!
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@ Dread Wench – said “hi” on the other active thread but “hi” here too! Explosives camp! Wee hee! Knew that was happening for you…hope it was fun!!!
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Geeks are hawt! They rule the world!
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I’m taking my brown belt karate test next Tuesday – I’ll be a smokin’ hot pirate wench then! :))) Hehehehehe
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I agree, geeks are HAWT!!!
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EXPLOSIVES CAMP?!?!?! I want to hear all about that, L’TUAE! It sounds excellent! Please tell more!
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Rowdiest is already a smokin’ hot pirate wench! She’s going to be a super smokin’ HAWT pirate wench after Tuesday!
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@ WB – You are *trying* to get me to blush! But it won’t work! Ahahahahaha! Seriously, thanks! Let’s wait till the bruises go away before we make any judgement calls! Hehehehe
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Good work with the ASCII art Sheila the monkey!
Good work giving a monkey a typewriter Giovanni!
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Arr, don’t blame me when ye all get monkey flu from letting monkeys near yer keyboards. Nearly as bad as scurvy.
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I’m feeling decidedly green. Probably too much rum (was that rum?) and too many chocolate binges. Lady captains such as myself should be kept away from chocolate fro their own safety…
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And can anyone really listen to someone who actually sits around all day with nothing better to do than work out the probability of natural selection?
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@Cap’n Caroline the Two-Legged
“And can anyone really listen to someone who actually sits around all day with nothing better to do than work out the probability of natural selection?”
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If they did a real job I think the numbers would be very interesting actually.
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“The probability that humans have emerged from natural selection is the same as the probability that a monkey composes ‘Hamlet’ by randomly typing on a keyboard”
This takes place as the second most illogical argument I have ever heard about anything.
Firstly, I had a 1 in 10 chance of picking these socks this morning. The fact that it is unlikely that I am wearing these particular socks in no way proves that I am not wearing the socks nor does it prove that I will never wear those socks. It’s called the real world. Welcome. We have T-Shirts.
Second, sample space. The universe is infinite, as long as we are counting it in terms of time as well as space. In an infinite sample space no matter how improbable something is it is absolutely guaranteed to exist somewhere. “But then why here, on this planet?” the smug little ID guy says. Why not? Where else? It had to be somewhere, and this is as good a place as any, and no matter what planet human life evolved on there would still be some guy who says, “The odds of it happening here are astronomical!” So just shut up and go away.
Third, the odds of human life evolving exactly as it has, right here on this planet are far greater than this person realizes, it is more on the order of every monkey on the planet being sat at a type writer and typing out Hamlet, Macbeth and Othello at the same time. But as I have hopefully made clear in previous points, the chances of intelligent life not evolving anywhere are Infinity to one, so it seems we are on the good side of the odds, doesn’t it?
Oh, and for anybody who’s interested in this sort of thing, who can guess the probability that of a random group of twenty-four people, two or more will have the same birthday? This answer is really weird.
Toodles,
The Triangle
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Kewl. Please post the original text file!!
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Hi…every post i have put on in the last couple of days have disaapeared, i will give it one more try.
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mabe the FSM is trying to speak to us through the monkey called shelia. we must listen.
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@Hondo – Christians do not think at all. I say that with confidence as I am a recovering roman catholic. Although I have relatives who believe that you have to be born twice to be a “true” believer. What a dog pyramid.
I much rather prefer the pasta pyramid.
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RAmen hondo. the funny part is that then they come here and swear at us and say that our idea is stupid and no evidence when ther’s is the same. stupid christians.
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I am particularly interested in the whole concept of ‘turning the other cheek’. When these, ‘True Chrisitians’ come onto the site and spew out their hatred and obvious xeno/homo phobic views, doesn’t it just reinforce the fact that under that very, very thin layer of civilization, lies the same mentality that caused the inquisition, crusades, Roman circuses etc? God, they say, is all about the love and peace and goodwill to all mankind…unless, of course, you don’t happen to believe in their god or diety. In which case, they will be having a fun bonfire in the middle of the town square, with you as the main attraction.
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@Iron Bess – I am truly conflicted now! The pirate in me really enjoys a good bonfire.
It is good that you are interested in the ‘turning the other cheek’ because christians, especially born agains, are not.
Is it me, or does “born again” really make me think about zombies? The soul eating kind.
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same here. they ones that suck out all hope and choice out of your lifes. then they force you to join the religion at gunpoint. not me. i’d pull out my cutlass and go down fighting. and if i died. i know that i would enjoy the beer and stippers in heaven.
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“Gaara the Pirate Jun 28th, 2007 at 7:51 am
same here. they ones that suck out all hope and choice out of your lifes. then they force you to join the religion at gunpoint. ”
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Wow no kidding? At gunpoint?
Which ones do that? That’s Hawt!
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And now I have finally seen the light of His Noodlyness, the damn Christians have come out wth their best trick of all: The Guilt Trip. Their favourite phrase at the moment involves the words: “You’ll come back to God. They always come back.” As One-eyed Wonderkin mentioned dogs, I am tempted to say that the above statement reminds me of a when a dog comes back to its own vomit.
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And, just out of interest, where did our blue name links go? I haven’t had my soul stolen yet…It’s lonely!
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@DutchPastaGuy: They would be, but I don’t know how anyone can love numbers that much when there’s pillaging to be done. Or maybe they jsut took a long, long, long, long time working out the numbers. Taking a few hours a day or something. Aye, that would ruin a marriage.
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The Christians don’t bother me in the least.
As I tend to think for myself. Hard to guilt me into anything, unless
I get a DUI or something. i.e. Unless I fuck up!
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Too many people here seem to blame the Christians
for all the wrongs in their lives. Ain’t their fault!
It’s said persons fault for blaming anybody but themselves!
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It’s the Fundies that push their beliefs on others.
I’ve seen just as many FSM Fundies as Christian fundies.
Live and let live! That’s what I say!
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Paris, you’ve just crossed the line. FSM fundies are NOT like Christian fundies. Either you retract that statement or go back to jail. No passing “Go”, no collecting $200.
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To thetriangle… I read when I was little that, in a room of 30 random people, the probability is 100% that two of them will have the same birthday. Is that correct?
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Hey christians are not the problem…all religions are the problem. Look at the shit religion is causing in the world even today. Bombings, jihads, holy wars, televangelists (oh the horror), door to door salesmen trying to pitch their particular form of fairy tale. Fundemental or not, beneath the veneer of religiousity lies a pus filled, hate filled, fear filled heart, waiting to burst out of the chest cavity, spit acid at you and eat you…wait a minute. Nope I’m wrong, that’s Alien! Okay, below that veneer of ‘Love Me, Love My God’ lies a dangerous soul wanting to convert you to their own form of insanity. Thank the FSM for beer and my trusty cutlass. “Back away you monsterous Landlubbers, or else I will smite you but good!” R’Amen.
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“Wench Beth Jun 28th, 2007 at 8:44 am
Paris, you’ve just crossed the line. FSM fundies are NOT like Christian fundies. Either you retract that statement or go back to jail. No passing “Go”, no collecting $200.”
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Sorry Beth, I don’t see a difference in any Fundie, just trying to make someone else believe in their ideas. One is no better then the other.
What if I want eternal life, singing to a God?
What if I don’t want beer and strippers?
Works the same way.
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Live and let live! Else I’ll get Hawt!
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I agree, Iron Bess. Religion is one of mankind’s major problems. *cough* ‘The End of Faith’ *cough* Sam Harris *cough* Brilliant.
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Really must get rid of that cough…
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@Paris Hilton: What’s so threatening about you getting ‘Hawt’?
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@Paris – Speaking as a pastafarin, I do not care what you believe. If you want to be part of a negative religion, go for it.
I will gladly engage in thoughtful banter about almost any topic, but I will not try to “convert” you. Or does pointing out conflicts in doctrine constitute an effort to convert?
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“Cap’n Caroline the Two-Legged Jun 28th, 2007 at 9:14 am
@Paris Hilton: What’s so threatening about you getting ‘Hawt’?”
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Nothing really, I already am Hawt.
Probably best if I don’t get any Hawter though…
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If Paris gets Hawt, she will asplode.
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Hawter*
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“One-eyed Wonderkin Jun 28th, 2007 at 9:20 am
@Paris – Speaking as a pastafarin, I do not care what you believe. If you want to be part of a negative religion, go for it.
I will gladly engage in thoughtful banter about almost any topic, but I will not try to “convert” you. Or does pointing out conflicts in doctrine constitute an effort to convert?”
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Pointing out differences is what makes the world go around.
Trying to tell someone what you believe is right, and what they believe is wrong.
Is being a Fundamentalist for what you believe.
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History has shown, I’ve been a Pastafarian for awhile now.
The true Pastafarian knows that FSM was created to fight Fundies,
not to infringe on other faiths.
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To Paris Hilton… even though you are HAWT, you are wrong about all Fundies being the same. We Pastafarians go by the FSM’s teachings, which are (in my words) “If you want to believe in me, cool, and if you don’t want to believe in me, that’s cool, too.” Have you read the Gospel? Pastafarians don’t force their beliefs on anyone! That is very different from the Christian fundamentalists’ M.O.
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So I think you better just go back to jail for insulting us. You can be HAWT there again.
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Artie, Best not find out.:) I’m sooo Hawt!
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Sorry Beth, I think you lost your Pastafarian way.
A fudie is a fundie, and your last comment contradicts itself.
Sorry,
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Why are you sorry, oh hawt one? You’re the one going back to jail!! Hee hee!!
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Actually I agree with you there Paris of the FSM. According to Richard Dawkins, religion is some kind of warped left over that evolution still hasn’t had a chance to get rid of. He attributes it to the same kind of process that goes on with moths when they fly into a flame. They haven’t evolved enough to be able to distinguish between light that will guide them home, to light that will fry them. So the instinct is still there, but it is very dangerous to them if they get tangled with the wrong kind of light. Religion in people is sort of like a left over vestige of something that had helped mankind survive a million years ago. So we have advanced technologically but evolution is slow. So people have a tendency to get all fundemental about shite when it is near and dear to them.
Can you say that there are a bunch of fundies on this site…probably not. But we may want to ask that question again in a few years if the evening News is all about hordes of swaggering, cutlass swinging Pirates, giving the local population the choice to either convert to the Pastafarian Way or walking the plank.
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“Iron Bess Jun 28th, 2007 at 9:48 am
Can you say that there are a bunch of fundies on this site…probably not. But we may want to ask that question again in a few years if the evening News is all about hordes of swaggering, cutlass swinging Pirates, giving the local population the choice to either convert to the Pastafarian Way or walking the plank.”
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Actually, as long as I’ve been here, I can say yes.
There are some who take this too far already, not many but some.
I tend to believe in the core values that made the FSM.
i.e. FSM vs Kansas, in that one is no better then the other.
Some seem to lose track of that, sad really.
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Another readable book…which IMHO…should be on the ‘Must Read’ material for all school children, all over the world, is The Demon Haunted World by Carl Sagan. Who, by the way, should be considered an Honorary Pirate and Pastafarian of the Pope-ish rank. Mankind, which includes us poor misunderstood Pastafarian types, will soon become extinct if we don’t start training ourseles and our children to get our collective heads out of our asses and stop with the believing in fairy tales, witches, wizards, goblins, god(s), crystals, info-mercials, tarot cards, horoscopes, Tom Cruise’s sanity etc.
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Huummm… A SPIDER MONKEY? Something smells fishie around here… huummmm
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“Mike Honcho Jun 28th, 2007 at 10:05 am
Obviously we are the one true religion. “.
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Those are the words of a fundie, not Hawt!
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Paris – I have agree with you about some having gone too far.
But that is the same with every group. There are tons of examples, just look at the soccer matches for one. Humans are social or group animals. Groups mean outsiders. Some groups are easy to get into, some are hard. Some try to convert you, some ignore you, and some with just shove a cutlass in your buttocks.
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Paris Hilton and Iron Bess, you are BOTH walking the plank — TODAY!! And after that, meet me at dawn with frying pans in hand — I’ll take you BOTH on with one hand tied behind my back!!!
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Oh that sounds kink o rama…please keep all sharp objects away from the buttocks area. Cutlasses should be used for much classier forms of pillaging. Grasp firmly between teeth, take nearest free swinging rope, launch body onto nearest ship…begin battle! Drink lots of rum…I mean beer…no I mean rum!
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Oh, and by the way, Paris and Iron Bess, if you think we’re taking this all seriously (which it looks like you do, frighteningly) then you both need to loosen up! :)))
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Oh my dearest Beth!
History will show, again!
I invented the Fry pan dual, sure you want to take me on?:)))
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“Wench Beth Jun 28th, 2007 at 10:36 am
Oh, and by the way, Paris and Iron Bess, if you think we’re taking this all seriously (which it looks like you do, frighteningly) then you both need to loosen up! :)))”
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Some here are Beth. Facts are written in these pages.
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Hell O-e W. Don’t say hard to Paris. She’ll jump you!
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Hi Corvus corax… You’re Hawt!!!
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Hey Paris, just call me Corv. You’re looking tasty girl – the time done you good! Whoooeee, yous one Hawt lady!
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Do you like carrion?
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Yikes…if I took this site seriously I would need to go for some serious head shrinking sessions. I love this site with all the mix of its piratey, irreverant, intelligent, pollitically incorrect, give a shit bunch of people who are busily posting all kinds of wierd and wonderful tidbits for us like minded people to read. I even like to see the poor unfortunate, misguided religiously impaired people come on this site and try to ‘enlighten’ this bunch of misfit pirates. So fly at being as fundemental as you want there Wench Beth…as long as you don’t mind me throwing in a couple of my own gems. RAmen
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Thanks Corv.
I’m trying to maintain my Hawtness:)))
As you know… Sometimes it’s hard!
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I like everything BTW! :)
Even some Brits!!!! Some are Hawt!!!!
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The Brits Paris? Yeah, they can be ok. Getting better I think. Twenty years ago I’d have said that the Americans were the best in the world.
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I’m a carrion eater, as you know. Americans were always the best meal! The French stank of garlic, the Brits were, frankly, stringy and I could never be bothered with frozen food. So Canada was out!
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The Brits are getting there – I have high hopes for my “Lard and sugar double chocolate chip cholesterol big-un” ice cream.
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Corv. When I was in prison, the only thing they fed me was carrion.
At lunchtime, it was just a slice between to pieces of bread.
But for dinner, they always mixed it up. And it was Hawt!
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Oh I just had to share this with everyone…it’s greeaaattttt!
Atheists have too many university diplomas! These folks are chock full of secular knowledge. They toss the Bible aside in favor of so-called, “research” and “theories.” They spend their days studying and trying to gather facts and data to support their ridiculous scientific theories, such as evolution and gravity. Don’t let it fool you, Christian Brothers and Sisters! All the secular knowledge in the world can’t disprove that the reason we are all here today was because Eve got some bad advice from a talking snake! Atheists are too full of their silly “logic” to understand that only blind faith leads to sighted Truth. Why, the homo-lovers in England have already accepted that most scientists are naturally Atheists. Don’t let it happen in America! Report your Biology professor – or any so-called teacher who pollutes the soul with extraneous (non-Biblical) information — to the local authorities before he recruits your child!
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Paris – Carrion is much under-rated.
You can do wonders with a bit of road-kill and some Liberty Caps!
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“Mike Honcho Jun 28th, 2007 at 11:31 am
ARRR!! It seems that the prissy blonde has buggered off. Just in time too. The facts I’ve written in these pages must have scared her away. Dumbass socialite.”
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You scared me off? With your facts?
Oh Ok, Got Milk?
Lets hear your “facts” big boy, I’ll bet they’re not Hawt.
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“Corvus corax Jun 28th, 2007 at 11:52 am
Paris – Carrion is much under-rated.
You can do wonders with a bit of road-kill and some Liberty Caps!”
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Muuummm Road Kill! One of my favs!
Over here we have… Betty Trucker… Road Kill Helper.
Good stuff that!
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“Over here we have… Betty Trucker… Road Kill Helper.”
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Is that like A famous brand of Mcburger type thing? Never heard of her, sorry. Have I eaten her yet?
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“Corvus corax Jun 28th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
“Over here we have… Betty Trucker… Road Kill Helper.”
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Is that like A famous brand of Mcburger type thing? Never heard of her, sorry. Have I eaten her yet?”
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Yep! That’s what it is.
Comes in a box with pasta and sauce to add to your Road Kill.
Many flavors, I like squirrel and tomato sauce myself.
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Squirrel? Sounds nice.
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Did you hear that the Beavers have got a petition going? They think that “Beaver” is pejorative! Yeah, really. They want to be called “vagina squirrels”!
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I ask ya! What a set of pussies!
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“Corvus corax Jun 28th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Squirrel? Sounds nice.
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Did you hear that the Beavers have got a petition going? They think that “Beaver” is pejorative! Yeah, really. They want to be called “vagina squirrels”!
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I ask ya! What a set of pussies!”
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Beaver is over rated anymore.
I’ve ate beaver to death! It’s good! Don’t get me wrong.
I think squirrel is hawter though! Yummy!
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“Mike Honcho Jun 28th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Paris Hilton
Jun 28th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Some here are Beth. Facts are written in these pages.
I was just making fun of you Paris. You seemed to think this was some sort of serious conversation. Can we start over and be friends? I haven’t had any stupid slut poon in a while. Give me a kiss!! Sorry if I bump into your head but my depth perception is gone since I lost my eye in that boat raid off the coast of Spain last year. Speaking of that my eye patch is beginning to smell. Quieres chingar?”
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I don’t think I want to be your friend.
I don’t like people that try to make fun of me.
Even though you could never pull it off, you tried.
Sorry Mikeo, Maybe my old friend Nicole Richie will like you.
I doubt that though, she’s still Hawt like I am.
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Thank you! I really must be going though…
things to do… things to save… things that are Hawt!
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@Iron Bes
“Atheists have too many university diplomas! These folks are chock full of secular knowledge. They toss the Bible aside in favor of so-called, “research” and “theories.” They spend their days studying and trying to gather facts and data to support their ridiculous scientific theories, such as evolution and gravity. Don’t let it fool you, Christian Brothers and Sisters! All the secular knowledge in the world can’t disprove that the reason we are all here today was because Eve got some bad advice from a talking snake! Atheists are too full of their silly “logic” to understand that only blind faith leads to sighted Truth.”
Riiiiigghht. Ok. For further enlightenment on how science and religion compare I suggest to take a look at
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http://www.wellingtongrey.net/miscellanea/archive/2007-01-15%20–%20science%20vs%20faith.html
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why are people so bad a recognizing sarcasm, even if they use it themselfs?
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http://www.wellingtongrey.net/miscellanea/archive/2007-01-15%20–%20science%20vs%20faith.html
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That is HAWT!
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Hey DPG – thanks for the link, excellent flow chart, love it, may use it in the next engineering meeting I have to attend.
That silly bunch is always blathering on about theories and testing things. Really what they should do is ask god if their theoretical structure will stand up to the forces, then go to bed and wait for god to answer the question in their dreams, if the answer is ‘go for it’, then curtail the costly testing part and build it. And if they really, really believe (and of course pray hard enough) they should be good to go. What a money saver!
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Oh, Paris, I totally forgot… of course it was you who invented the frying pan duel! My apologies! But I think I have enough experience now to take you on! Meet me at dawn and we’ll see who is most HAWT with the pans!!!
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A Frying Pan Deul! That is so HAWT! Where will it take place?!
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I’d love to see a frying pan duel between the Invisible Pink Unicorn and the FSM. Hands down…I mean appendages down…my money is on the FSM.
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“Aristotle, Penguin Lurver Jun 28th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
A Frying Pan Deul! That is so HAWT! Where will it take place?!”
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My house, the next time I get to Hawt again.:(
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“Mike Honcho Jun 28th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Using the same lame joke over and over and over is so hawt. Right Paris?!”
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Keeps you coming back… Right Mike?!
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Hey there, it’s everybody’s favorite pope dropping back in to say hello and admire the wonderful ASCII art that the FSM hath delivered us!
Though I can’t say I’m impressed by the attendance at CoFSM, people decided to stop coming or something?
RAmen
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Not much reason to come anymore, Pixely.
It got stale.
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senja Jun 28th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
“why are people so bad a recognizing sarcasm, even if they use it themselfs?”
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RAmen senja. That never ceases to amaze me at CoFSM. You think it could be that they think themselves the only ones who know satire or sarcasm when in fact it goes straight over their head? Come across that a few times here. I think maybe it’s their “perceived” intellectual superiority that does it.
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@Paris Hilton
“Not much reason to come anymore, Pixely.
It got stale.”
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ASCII art is never stale! Haha, it got stale around January, but a lot of people stayed anyway. Since you call me Pixely I assume you know me, but the name change confuses me, enlighten me!
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RAmen
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I am never Sarcastic. People who use Sarcasm are weak.
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@Iron Bess Jun 28th, 2007 at 11:25 am
“Oh I just had to share this with everyone”
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Hahahahahahahaha…..
Love it :))
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Hi Pixel :)
“I can’t say I’m impressed by the attendance at CoFSM, people decided to stop coming or something?”
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Not me :)) Just been a little busy on and off. What about you? Where’s your note? ;)
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Hi Aris :))
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Not the note!
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Hi, Wench Nikkiee. :)
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@Mike – Caw! :)
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@Wench Nikkiee
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“Come across that a few times here. I think maybe it’s their “perceived” intellectual superiority that does it.”
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Nice one Nikki :) That was a splendiforously arsetendously arsey thing to say :)
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Dog kept you up? :)
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My internet is dying folks, gimme a few and I’ll be right back.
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RAmen
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Erm ……”Dog kept you up? :)”
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Not in the Biblical sense. I know you don’t cavort with animals!
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Alchemist
“Nice one Nikki :)”
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Thank you :))
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“Dog kept you up? :)”
Erm…8.30am here…. been up for two hours…best time of day and all that :)
As for the canine, how can such little baby dog get so spoilt in such a short time? She has started to growl/whine when she just wants my attention! But she has been learning “No” over last few days :))
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“christisrisen Jun 28th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
I feel sorry for you people. When you stand in front of the Lord after you die you are going to be sorry. Quit this nonsense now and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior. Otherwise you face eternal damnation.”
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Hey! Thanks for the heads up! On my way to converting now….
BRB
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Alchemist Jun 28th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
“I know you don’t cavort with animals!”
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Well maybe just a little over the net :p))
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Aristotle, God of Satire Jun 28th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
“I am never Sarcastic.”
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I’ve noticed :)
RAmen
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“But she has been learning “No” over last few days :))”
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Well! Good for you – I had to rescue my favourite pair of jeans from the back of the garden because the little shit had pulled them of the drier!
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Yes! I repent! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
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I’m saved!!!!!!!!
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Hi Christopher is risen.
Cool name BTW, It’s Hawt!
Know what’s cool about this website?
I can tell you to go fuck yourself, and it will post.:)
So, go on now… Fuck yourself…
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Iron Bess Jun 28th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
“if the answer is ‘go for it’, then curtail the costly testing part and build it. And if they really, really believe (and of course pray hard enough) they should be good to go. What a money saver!”
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That would be a wonderful method for the molecular biologist to employ too. Think of the research grant money that could be better spent at the pub….err…I mean given to the church!
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Alchemist Jun 28th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
“Yes! I repent!”
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Can I come too? Was the water warm?
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@Mike Honcho – Yes, go fuck yourself. Everyone is doing it! ;)
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Hi Mikey!
You sure do get over on me! Yes sir!
You’ve got me all beat to hell!
Shit, just like the last time you played Asshole!
I hope if I should ever divorce, (which will never happen:).
But if it did… I’d want my better half to hire someone like you,
as a lawyer to represent them! You’re Hawt!
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Fucking oneself is so In right now. Doing “it” with other people is Out and unfashionable.
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@Paris Hilton – You’re Hawt!
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Mike Honcho
“Just kidding everyone”
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Well that’s just great!! Really! What am I going to do now that I’ve just stuck my head under the tap and said “abracadabra” and got myself “saved”?
Hang on didn’t someone mention there’s a web site where you can go to get unsaved?
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So are you Arite! You’re Hawt too!
It’s hard to be this Hawt! You get people jealous
of you…. That’s only kind of Hawt.
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To Mike Honcho… don’t you DARE insult Paris the Hawt! She *IS* funny and she’s *NOT* a motherfucker!!!!
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I think this calls for a FRYING PAN DUEL!!! Meet me at dawn, Honcho, with a frying pan and you will see what happens when you insult my pal Paris!!! Arrrrrrr!!!
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PIXELY!!! WELCOME BACK!!! We missed you. You haven’t missed much here; the site is kind of dying :((( But we’re hanging in there!
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What’s this saved stuff?
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Bollocks! I didn’t agree to something daft again did I?
Shit! You think I’d learn!
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Yeah Beth, You’re really extra Hawt!!! But you knew that,
never hurts to hear it I guess.:)))
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“Alchemist Jun 28th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
What’s this saved stuff?
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Bollocks! I didn’t agree to something daft again did I?
Shit! You think I’d learn!”
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Don’t think I’d worry to much about it.
Getting saved is Hawt!
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I thought being shaved is hawt.
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Or was it being paved?
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Getting a cave?
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Going to the grave?
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Je me lave?
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Shaved? Hawt? Can be. So can forests. I think we should protect the forests!
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Accent grave?
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@Alchemist – I’m already doing my part! :))
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I saved my hoo hoo from being ravaged in prison.
Does that count?
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“the site is kind of dying”
Dying? 150 responses in 24hrs? Have you had a look over the Archives Wench Beth?
6 months ago it took days to get that many responses.
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Aris – praise be bro – and the Lord said……something! I wasn’t really listening at the time. I’m sure it was good. Profound even!
Did anyone hear what old God said, I went to the bog when he started his top ten!
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Took about a week. More variety of posters now too :))))
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He said thou shalt not worship Me, only the FSM, for the FSM created Me.
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That was really weak. I could’ve done better.
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I always thought my Mom and Dad created me.
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Better History, I meant.
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Alchemist Jun 28th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
“Did anyone hear what old God said, I went to the bog when he started his top ten!”
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I didn’t go but I think I heard it was something about blaspheme, virgins and ghosts?
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Aris – yeah, might have done. Like I say, not really listening, the womens’ tennis was on. Meh!
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Paris Hilton Jun 28th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
“I always thought my Mom and Dad created me.”
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Where in Hell, Norway’s name did you get that idea?
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The Stork created you, Paris.
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No, sorry, that’s wrong. I was confusing one thing with another. Paris, the Stork did not create you. The Hawtness did.
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Artie, I heard it on the X!
Yeah Smarter then a 5th Grader is on tonite! That’s Hawt!
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May FSM’s Hawtness penetrate you.
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Is this the guy that was giving the sermon?
http://www.rabid-squirrel.com/
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You’ve posted that before, haven’t you, Nikkiee?
I wonder how the guy does it.
I must go now. Be back tomorrow, or tonight
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sentence stopper thingy (.)
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Never forget the sentence stopper thingy.
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Yeah have done Aris :))
Catch you later :)
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Aristotle, God of Satire
“Never forget the sentence stopper thingy.”
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Oh yeah! Here’s some I have left over from my previous posts…………………………….please use them at will :)
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@Iron Bess Oh I just had to share this with everyone…it’s greeaaattttt!
Atheists have too many university diplomas! These folks are chock full of secular knowledge. They toss the Bible aside in favor of so-called, “research” and “theories.” They spend their days studying and trying to gather facts and data to support their ridiculous scientific theories, such as evolution and gravity. Don’t let it fool you, Christian Brothers and Sisters! All the secular knowledge in the world can’t disprove that the reason we are all here today was because Eve got some bad advice from a talking snake! Atheists are too full of their silly “logic” to understand that only blind faith leads to sighted Truth. Why, the homo-lovers in England have already accepted that most scientists are naturally Atheists. Don’t let it happen in America! Report your Biology professor – or any so-called teacher who pollutes the soul with extraneous (non-Biblical) information — to the local authorities before he recruits your child!
Holey shit sweet cheeks this was the best laugh I had in months. I purt near laughed the ass right off my body. Had to go and look for it. Did you read the other ones. Too freakin hilarious.
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Hey Satan :) How’s it hanging old boy? Gotten the heating down there fixed up yet?
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Actually, Hell isn’t all fire and brimstone…in fact, almost nowhere is that hot.
I suggest you read La Divina Commedia.
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Hey Iron Bess do you know this one?
“Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.”
-Denis Diderot, French philosopher, author, and encyclopedist (1713-1784).
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Ah, Satan, nice to hear from you again. Think you could see if you can give Ann Coulter some new material?
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@Rowdiest Wench- congrats to your awesom3 karate skillz! But don’t become a ninja! We won’t lose you to them! ^_^
I am so happy to be back after (more than a month??!!). so much crap just came up.
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HI L’TUAE, Your name is Hawt!!!
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thanks, it’s an ACRONYM! ^_^
I rather like yours too.
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I wonder if it’s an acronym for anything? I’ll think on that…
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“Dread Wench L’TUAE Jun 28th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
I wonder if it’s an acronym for anything? I’ll think on that…”
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I think it is! Yep! Something something, Hitchhikers, something something Guide, something something….
It’s Hawt!
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no, I meant Paris Hilton. I’d think of something for it, but my cafeine is wearing off. it’s getting late over here. I only got as far as the “P”.
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Hey Satan, do you and Jesus do it while on fire or while walkin on water? Who gets to bend over and who gets to give it?
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@ Dread Wench – Thanks! I will not become a ninja though – no worries! I will never give in to the dark side! :)))
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You could be a good Ninja, Rowdiest, fighting on the side of pirates and Pastafarians everywhere…?
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Rowdiest! The Uber Ninja! Fighting for Justice and The Ultimate Question: Can Pirates and Ninjas Coexist?! They are BOTh super L337, but are They both on the Side of His Noodly Appendage?
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ug. I think i have to call ita night. Aquatic guardianship of primate derived young is very tiring.
Stupid little brats…they aren’t NEARLY as advanced as Shiela the monkey.
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@ Rowdy: Why not be a Ninja-Pirate?
@ Black Stash: Creepy, dude…
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Good night, Dread Wench L’TUAE! Hope to see you tomorrow!
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@ Zankou – Ninja-Pirate…hmmm…tis worth pondering! :))
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G’night Dread Wench! Glad to have you back!
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@ WB – A good Ninja…it’s not like I don’t have practice being different from normal! Wee hee! I think I could do this!! :))
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Someone mentioned the temperature of hell, so I felt obliged to post this;
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http://local.wasp.uwa.edu.au/~pbourke/fun/heaven/
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hehe. it’s so funny how their own data proves this.
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“I feel sorry for you people. When you stand in front of the Lord after you die you are going to be sorry. Quit this nonsense now and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior. Otherwise you face eternal damnation.”
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What are the odds of that. DAMNIT!!! Two minutes after I leave a fundy comes!!! I’m telling you the FSM must love playing jokes on me.
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@Wench Beth
“PIXELY!!! WELCOME BACK!!! We missed you. You haven’t missed much here; the site is kind of dying :((( But we’re hanging in there!”
I missed my wenches too! Most forums die after a while, I’m surprised that the CoFSM survived as long as it did.
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@Wench Nikkiee
Sorry, my internet died mid-conversation with you :( oh well.
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RAmen
~Pope Pixel I, self-proclaimed hero of the church, total wench addict, first pope of CoFSM, and pretty awesome generally
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Ironically the ID believer in this case is inadvertantly somewhat correct.
The reference to the monkey producing shakespeare by randomly hitting keys on a typewriter is a means of representing the nature of infinity…
All that is required for life to evolve is
(energy/matter)+time
Time is the crucial thing here. With no end given to time(infinity), life evolving, in whatever form, is inevitable.
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uhhhhhhhhh…. my brain hurts. we pirates don’t understand much about physics and science.
@jingles- do you mean the supposed chritian hell or the Pastafarinaism hell?
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@ Gaara – Watch out for Wench Nikkiee, DPG and Bill! They will really make your head hurt! :))))
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oh fsm (i have changed all my saying like “good god!” or “oh god” to “oh FSM” and so on.) i need some grog. that always stops my head hurting (untill the next morning)
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@ Gaara – my husband says hangovers are for quitters! ;)
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Comment #200!
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luck stiff.
hey i don’t quit on rum! i just get a major headache. after three hours i just go out and drink more rum. (this is why i get bad grades at school)
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Oh, man, we’re a bad influence on the younger Pastafarians!
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Drink milk, drink milk!!! ;)
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i am a young pastafarian. **i changed from garra to this. garra isn’t my real name anyway** i’m only 13 1/2. (i don’t drink rum really,my mom won’t let me. )
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To Lord of the Pirate Fish, formerly known as Garra… don’t sweat it! I’m old enough to be your mom (yikes!) and I don’t drink alcohol at all! Pastafarian Wharf Rats, unite! :)))
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I don’t drink alcohol either! What a coincindence!
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There are a few of us, Aristotle! And the FSM provides us with stuff like root beer so that we can party along with the rest! (The FSM knows that designated drivers are important to protect the well-being of his drunk Pastafarians :) I even heard a rumor that there’s a Root Beer Volcano in FSM heaven right next to the Beer Volcano — yah!!!
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@ LotPF – I had no idea you were so young when I made that comment! Good that you have a sense of humor! :)) And I’m old enough to be your mom too! Oh dear…but it’s OK coz WB and I are still Hawt wenches! :))
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AND A HUGE RAMEN TO THAT COMMENT FROM ROWDIEST!!! HAWT WENCHES, WE ARE!!! :)))
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@ WB – Wee hee!! :))
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@Gaara/LotPF, pretty sure it was for christian hell, seing as pastafarians don’t really have a ‘hell’ as such. Rather, bad people just get flat beer and flatter strippers, (unless they’re REALLY bad people, in which case they get keelhauled for all eternity).
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Btw, if you’re too young to drink hard liquor, just drink beer. It’s good for you (practically liquid bread)!
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Jingles,
Your friendly source of apocrypha, with bells on!
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Wench Beth
Jun 29th, 2007 at 11:18 am
There are a few of us, Aristotle! And the FSM provides us with stuff like root beer so that we can party along with the rest! (The FSM knows that designated drivers are important to protect the well-being of his drunk Pastafarians :) I even heard a rumor that there’s a Root Beer Volcano in FSM heaven right next to the Beer Volcano — yah!!!
*
I don’t drink either, but I fully believe the FSM will provide us with whatever we desire ;)
*
Beth, Rowdiest, of course you’re hawt, much hawter than that hotel girl ever could be :)
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i can’t drink and probably won’t drink but i agree with the fact that FSM will give most of the things that will make us happy, such as hawt guy stippers for the wenches.
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…So not only do your made up bullshit beliefs revolve around flying pasta… somehow pirates that cause global warming and typing monkeys are involved… wow…
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what…the…heck Jul 1st, 2007 at 2:34 am
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What do you make up your bullshit beliefs upon?
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“flying pasta… somehow pirates that cause global warming and typing monkeys are involved… wow…”
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Fantastic isn’t it! :)
RAmen
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“You are obviousally a dullard and should be escorted to the door
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…..and given a good spanking for being a rude little boy. You shouldn’t use words that you don’t understand what…the….heck (imaginative name BTW).
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I don’t think for one second that you understand the word revolve!
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iu don’t think he knows what pirates,pasta, or beliefs. the only word he probably knows is bullshit.
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Yes, it IS amazing how emcompassing our beliefs are. And yet they all manage to blend into something that is totally awesome. Personally, i hold out hope for a diet coke volcanoe in our heaven.
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Virgin Bloody Maries are great!
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I don’t think it’s quite fair to call our afterlife “our heaven”. “Heaven” is a Christian term which has become too widely used. Saying that is kind of like saying “Jews pray at a Jewish verion of a Church”. We should really call “our heaven” “the afterlife”.
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Thanks for the nice thing you said, RDPW :))) You’re Hawt, too!!!
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To Dread Wench L’TUAE… alongside the Diet Coke volcano I hope there will be a pink grapefruit juice volcano, too! I could drink that stuff until I burst! Also a milk volcano… I know that’s the ultimate in boring but I couldn’t live without milk! :)
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To Stereotypical Environmentalist… you are right about the “heaven” thing. We could just say that the FSM is going to take us to the Beer Volcano and the Stripper Factory in the next life!
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llamazoo, I’m sorry, but could you explain how there are multiple universes. I believe that that the root word, “uni” means “one”. Also, though many people will argue with me on this, I don’t think it is any more fair to call “ID” believers “crackpots any of the other things that “we” call them than it is for them to call us “crackpots”. It lowers us to their level – at least the level of the ones who insult us. We need to be careful to not be hypocrytical.
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@ SE and LLamazoo – “multiverse” is a better term for that. Thanks Heinlein…
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@ SE – We’ve had a couple of people come here and blast the Xtians with foul language and nasty things – it doesn’t take long for one of the others to squash them when they do that! I agree – we should not lower ourselves to their level.
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Stereotypical Environmentalist… Jul 2nd, 2007 at 4:33 pm
“I don’t think it is any more fair to call “ID” believers “crackpots any of the other things that “we” call them than it is for them to call us “crackpots”.”
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Intelligent Design is not a crackpot “theory”???
Of course OUR graphically supported theories could never be considered crackpot!!!
Blaspheme!!!
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Wench Nikkiee – as a consultant, I can tell you that you can make statistics tell you what ever you want to hear. It does not make the statistics wrong, just incorrectly applied.
If statistics applied to ID, we would be in trouble. Thankfully, statistics applied to FSMism, so the ID supports must tremble under the mighty graph.
Plus – pirates total kick ass.
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And then there’s the loose morals too One-eyed Wonderkin :p))
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“It does not make the statistics wrong, just incorrectly applied.”
Not ours…never! ;)
RAmen
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You are a saucy one, Wench Nikkiee. :)
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Thanks One-eyed Wonderkin :)
Well lunch break over here.
Have re-apply the anti-melt and get back outside to some work. :(
Catch you later
Oh and lest I forget…..
RAmen
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I miss the blue name links. I haven’t gotten any new souls in weeks :(
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Wench Nikkiee, oh of course I think that ID is bogus, but I’m not one to get angry at someone for believing in it. It’s rude and pointless.
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“but I’m not one to get angry at someone for believing in it.”
Me neither :) My anger lies towards those attempting to perpetuate a huge social and political control grab. Those who are conned into it have my sympathy.
The rest is satire :))
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After spending months getting involved in pseudo science discussions and spending a fair bit of time reading the propaganda at the Discovery Institute as well as Aig, I also have my suspicions as to how many of those selling ID propaganda really believe it themselves.
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Oh and those who think nothing of pulling every deceitful trick they can think of to sell it to a largely scientifically ignorant public (read pb those who have witnessed his tactics…..they are not uncommon) earn my disgust!
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Wench Nikkiee Jul 3rd, 2007 at 12:41 am
“The rest is satire :))”
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Or at the very least, parody :)
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@llamazoo Jul 3rd, 2007 at 3:32 am
“a person who writes or speaks in an authoritative fashion about a particular subject, often in science, but is alleged to have false or even ludicrous beliefs.”
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If I may add to that :)
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On Intelligent Design from Talk Reason website (an excellent site dealing with Evolution vs. Creationism )
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talkreason.org/articles/SI_Resp.cfm
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“Symptoms of crankhood
Bogus science takes many forms. The aspiring diagnostician has a choice of sources, ancient and modern, for help in recognizing it. Thus the student of science-obfuscation may distinguish among the works of (sincere) “crackpots,” persistent “cranks,” science-illiterates, honest but grossly incompetent practitioners with a fixed idea, and qualified but sham practitioners of science, in it for money or sectarian glory. Recent symptom-lists for these pathologies come from two accomplished physicists.”
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As a convenience for serious investigators, mathematical physicist John Baez has fashioned a Crackpot Index. A high score on this Index identifies infallibly a scientific claim that isn’t — one that can be ignored by the working and presumably busy scientist (math.ucr.edu/home/baez/crackpot.html). The Index is computed on 35 indicators, each with a point value. Those range from 1 to 50. The last six, with the biggest point values, are:
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“31. 40 points for comparing those who argue against your ideas to Nazis, stormtroopers, or brownshirts” [or the equivalent on the Stalinist-Maoist left -- PRG].
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“32. 40 points for claiming that the ’scientific establishment’ is engaged in a ‘conspiracy’ to prevent your work from getting its well-deserved fame, or suchlike.”
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“33. 40 points for comparing yourself to Galileo…”
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“34. 40 points for claiming that when your theory is finally appreciated, present-day science will be seen for the sham it truly is…”
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“35. 50 points for claiming you have a revolutionary theory but giving no concrete testable predictions.”
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Must say I haven’t come across Galileo yet…not that I can recall anyway :)
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They don’t really mention him, they just like to say they are being wrongly prosecuted for their (correct) ideas and that one day they will be proven correct (like Gallileo). There just never seems to be much time to prove anything after complaing of prosecution so much, strange hm?
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Yo ho yo ho a Pastafarian life for me! **Pastafarian chruch hyme.**
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Hi everyone, I’m going to a huge 4th of July party tomorrow, lot of people going to be there. I wish I had $50.. or so dollars, to print up FSM fliers. But I just don’t.:( Stupid paper and ink cost money. Could anybody send me a few bucks? Any money you give me, will go towards paper and ink, for fliers. Thank you. My addy is cpthook5833[at]hotmail[dot]com. Thanks.
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Red DutchPasta Wench Jul 3rd, 2007 at 6:21 am
“They don’t really mention him, they just like to say they are being wrongly prosecuted for their (correct) ideas and that one day they will be proven correct (like Gallileo).”
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Oh yeah….that’s all of them too then. That is the first thing they’re are taught by their masters!
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Move over Mona Lisa; this is great.
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We here in the northern climes, need the Pirates to start kicking in, gone are the wet, cold and overcast days, here comes the sun. No easing into this, put on the jolly roger tankinis and start guzzling the beer. Ramen
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“the probability that humans have emerged from natural selection is the same as the probability that a monkey composes ‘Hamlet’ by randomly typing on a keyboard”.
clearly quite likely then ?
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Acutally that is an excellent point. Given infinite time a Monkey poking at a keyboard WILL produce Hamlet, in fact all of Shakespear, and every last shred of human knowledge and literature, and knowledge we’ve not yet acquired. That the probability of it happening in finite time is slim proves nothing. That the probability exists at all is much more compelling.
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@A Catholic who abhores ID and Ceationism
Welcome to the Church of the FSM. Some here are not so fond of Catholicism, but hang around anyway. If you have a sense of humour and are not dogmatic this is a nice cyberspot to hang out. Believer or non-believer.
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After looking at the ASCII characters that made up that picture, I decided that your claim that is was typed randomly by a monkey is completely false.
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@ DutchPastorGuy
You are a blasphemous infadel this site is no chill out spot it is a site for devout followers of the great Flying Spaghetti Monster and for this I judge you are not worthy to follow this esteemed religious order now for your punishment I will track you down and I will kill torture mutilated and rape you and your family in whatever order pleases me in the name of the flying spaghetti monster you will die you should pray for it to be swift though I guaranty it wont be you will suffer for your blasphemous acts and in death you will meet final judgement from the Flying Spaghetti Monster. May this be a warning to you all!
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Hail the Flying Spaghetti monster,
let his vengeance be swift
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i am another of the devout followers of the flying spaghetti monster and i am angry no furious at the dutch pastor for his infadel commens and i believe that u should die (pastor). i also believe that there should be more punishment towards your blasmphemous comments so i am the second judge and the punishment i give you is eternal suffering of taking repeated blows to the balls via an anchor chain delivered by me or one of my minions
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Wow you guys sure are getting worked up. Might I suggest you relax? Otherwise you might blow a vein when the strippers go by.
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In other words, sit down, shut up, drink the grog, eat the spaghetti and, for the love of pasta, lay off the eternal damnation schtick. We aren’t Westborough Baptists here!
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Indeed, in the Gospel of the FSM He clearly and unequivically says that it’s ok for people not to believe in Him, as He, in His great mercy, is not vain. The FSM is not a jealous, vindictive deity like the christian god.
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Yeah – chill! Anyway, it’s Friday!
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I had just changed my monkey’s diaper when he typed:
to pee or not to pee,
that is the question.
And I know this isn’t the full text of Hamlet, but like a little piece of genetic code, it’s a clue to something.
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IRREFUTABLE PROOF OF HIS NOODLENESS!
RAmen. Consider me a convert.
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Welcome aboard HBL! Enjoy the pasta, grog and strippers (all of em come in all flavours ;P )
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