I almost got shot. kinda.
A few days ago, as I was leaving my apartment, a car sped across the parking lot to intercept me. I had just about reached my car when I noticed the driver stopping directly behind my car, blocking me. The two passengers jumped out of the car and came straight at me.
I get a lot of hate-mail and I’ve had more than a few death threats. I keep my address a secret, but I’ve had people track me down in the past. So, when I saw a car speed up and two people jump out, it freaked me out.
One of them asked me if I valued the mind and body benefits of exercise. I said yes and that I needed to get going. They assured me that they’d move the car, but perhaps I wanted to take some reading material with me to look over when I had more time.
So I took their pamphlet. My only excuse is that I thought I was going to get stabbed or something, and I just wanted to get out of there. It wasn’t until later that I looked at the pamphlet. It slowly went from exercise to Jesus. It turned out to be disguised Jehovah’s Witness propaganda, the Watchtower. I figured that they tricked me fair and square, so I felt obligated to read it.
… 
What I learned by this experience
The pamphlet, itself, was kind of Jesusy. But it gave me some fantastic ideas for expanding the Pastafarian congregation. Clearly, the way to get more members is to trick them; make them think they’re signing up for one thing and then – bam – all the sudden you hit them with the gospel-speak, and you’ve got them.
So, I’ve decided that we’re going to do a similar campaign to trick people into joining FSM, specifically, members of other religions, especially the religions who propagandize. I figure that we’ve already got the open-minded people, now we need the gullible ones.
Internet advertising - like magic, but nerdier
You can target advertisements to specific categories of websites. We’re going to be targeting competing religious websites. Any religion who hands out pamphlets is fair game. Lots of religious websites sell ad-space through 3rd parties, and we’ll be able to place OUR ads on their pages, and steal their members.
It’ll work like this: their members will go to the church websites as usual, and they’ll see a small ad suggesting that there is more to their religion. Some of them will click the ad and be brought to a specific catch page, where they’ll hear fantastic arguments on why they should convert.
I need your help with any of the following:
1) Specific strategies for each religion. For example, for Jehovah’s Witnesses, we could push that we, also, reject Orthodox Christianity. And the strategies don’t need to be that on-topic. The Jehovah’s Witnesses got me with an exercise pamphlet, we could just as easily have a pirate angle or something. We’ll have different strategies for the other religions - Mormons, Young Earth Christians, Scientologists, etc. Let’s brainstorm. Either post in the comments or send me an email at bobby.henderson@gmail.com
2) Nich text ads. We need short, catchy text ads that will appeal to each of the target religions. The content of these ads will be more clear once we’ve established our strategies for each religion.
3) Small Image Ads. People with art skills, get creative. Same deal with the text ads, we’re going to know more once we know what our angle is. We’ll need ads in the following dimensions:
200×200
250×250
468×60
336×280
4)Individual Catch Pages. Once they click the ad, they’ll be brought to a page on the FSM site which will expand on the idea presented in the ad and slowly make the argument that they should convert to Pastafarianism. I need help with this.
5) Money. I’ve put aside a few thousand for this. Ads cost between $0.25 and upwards of $5 per thousand views. I’m hoping for a budget of at least $5k. If you want to help, you can either donate, or buy some FSM merchandise.
So, that’s my idea. What do you think?
“Good artists copy, great artists steal” — Picasso
I think your general idea is feasible, but may have more impact if it is done in a fairly explicit parody/mimicry format based around recognized material already distributed by competing religious organizations.
The more successful the campaign by the competitor, the better target it is for a parody done by the Church of the FSM. If done right, the impact could be a striking commentary on both the original and on the tactics used by those organizations as a whole, all while raising awareness about the FSM.
An example? Well, you’ve already highlighted one; Jehovah Witness “Watchtower” pamphlets, “study aids”, and brochures provide a rich framework to start with. Naturally, these are also quite familiar to many people. Ideally, you’d want to do it with enough of a twist that is was instantly recognizable as both a parody of the original yet clearly…not Jehovah Witness. Otherwise, people might mistake it for the “real” thing without realizing that it was, instead, an elaborate scheme by the FSM to accrue supple new minds.
Having said all of that, I think this sort of “copy-cat” format may lend a stronger result–dollar for dollar, if nothing else–and seems to suit the satirical flavor (pun intended) of Pastafarianism right from the start.
Something to consider, anyhow…
Sorry to post again so
Got #3… that’s my best in a while.
Bummer that those idiots tricked you. They are quite brainwashed; it’s very sad.
I’m no artist but I can donate to the cause. Some of the Disciples are extremely creative and witty; they would be able to come up with some fantastic ideas. (Hint, hint, Disciples, you guys can work wonders!)
ooh can we get celebrities on board? people love celebrity more than jebus
AWESOME idea! MORE SHEEP!!! We need more sheep, people…Pasta-y sheep!
Keep the rhetoric coming…
To make a play on “The Watchtower,” our publication could be “The Crow’s Nest!”
Another pot of coffee and I’ll be able to toss out a few more ideas…
@Mr. Henderson, and all other interested people:
I’m not sure I understand exactly what you mean when you talk about advertisements. Are these meant to be obvious jokes, or are they actually meant to trick people? If you mean the latter, here are a few points that I would like to make.
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I like the idea of making fun of mass conversion schemes as Derelict suggested. I really don’t like the idea of trying to convert people en masse, however. One is a joke, and the other makes us as bad as the other religions are. I like jokes, but I think that advertisements for the Church of the FSM crosses a line from which we might do better to keep our distance. This is especially true if we don’t mention the FSM early on. If the satire is too close to the mark and the joke ads are too believable, we run the risk of creating the very thing that many of us seek to hinder, namely, the conversion of our fellow people under false pretenses. Remember that this webpage began with a letter to the Kansas School Board devoted to stopping such false conversion. Do we need to burn our own roots and act like our foes?
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How did you feel when you were tricked by the Jehovah’s Witnesses? I’m guessing not very happy. You may have even felt somewhat insulted. I don’t want people to associate that feeling with FSMism.
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Do we really want sheep followers? I was under the impression that this webpage was devoted to introspection, iconoclasm, thought, and the use of argument to find the theories that best describe the world. The recruitment of sheep runs the risk of ruining those positive elements of the movement and replacing them with blind adherence to articles of faith. If the plan works too well, and this webpage becomes a battleground of fools, one side marching under a banner of the FSM and the other side marching under a banner of fundie-ism, and the people who post here currently are drowned out in the cacophony of the battle, then the only real losers are us. In a senseless duel of FSM fundies against other fundies, few will pause to think any longer. We should not lose sight of our introspective heritage.
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I sincerely hope that I am missing the point, and that we are not trying to become a more accurate mirror for fundie-ism.
-Avatar of Reason
Are there any celebrity Pastafarians?
@Avatar of Reason - Well written
Thank you, IndianPasta.
Avatar of Reason: how better to advance the Pastafarian cause than with clueless converts. Once they have been lured into our noodly trap, we can force them to admit the error of their ways, see the sauce of the FSM, and dress in full pirate regalia, so that catastrophic global warming may be averted, before it is too late.
-LLS
Avast! in me haste, I misspelt me name. Arrr! -LLS
I see an element of risk in the fact that some sheep may take certain philosophies too seriously & start a splinter group. When splinter groups start, they usually end up hating each other more than the common enemy. Protestantism got started just because Henry VIII got sick of chopping his wives’ heads off & wanted a divorce. Look where that’s gone.
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Rather than infiltrating religion with more religion, how about infiltrating them with dietary advice? Do some research on the dietary benefits of pasta & noodles & sell it to them. Tell them about your scientific research (for some reason, if it has to do with weight loss, even fundies drool at the use of the word ’scientific’). Pasta actually does have some great dietary benifits & let’s face it, a great deal of those Jeezo grovelling pricks do have a serious weight problem issue that really needs dealing with. Just take a look at Jesus Camp.
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You could make kids’ cartoons (possibly with an element of religion) that advertise the benefits of a pasta diet that have pasta characters & make the FSM a minor character that nobody notices at first (sorta subliminal). Have a ‘Freddy Spageddy’ or ‘Penny Penne’ (yeah, I just made those up right there & then–how’d you guess?) as a lead character & have the FSM as an as yet unnamed background character that eventually becomes a main character after the the cartoons become popular. He could explain to Freddy & Penny the scientific proof of why they should let themselves get eaten.
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Or something like that.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Miracle Diets
Well, the problem is that this will bring the dumber part of people onboard.
Cause: If they go to their church as usual, like jehovists or scientologists, there’s a good chance they are extremely stupid as they have fallen for jehovism/scientolooniesm in the first place.
We should make sure we remain focused on the important topics, such as Gay Marriage in Iraq.
Hello.
i am with you.
i will do what i can.
i have good graphic design skills, and a deep seated … something
of all organized religion.
oooooooh the media coverage fo jerry faldwell just burns me up!
yes, so…
i think i can contribute something to the cause.
thank you very much for your hard work for such a worth cause.
i do not personally believe in the flying spaghetti monster,
but i do love pirates.
though i think ninjas are better.
however:
i fully believe in converting other “other believers” into pastafarians.
god bless us, each and every one.
i say that because i was raised in america, and the state here teaches
us to say things like “god” and “jesus”
praise the lord.
your friend,
cabe.
Well, Bobby, you seem to want to open up a big ol’ can of whoopass, huh? It does seem to be a natural progression, yet I worry about our souls trying to carry around the weight of being damned to a fiery eternity even more frequently than is already the case. I guess it’s the 0 x 0 = 0 argument, though. No matter how many times we’re damned to an imaginary place/state of being, it doesn’t amount to much, does it?
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I’m all for it as long as we are truly satirizing what other religions do, and only those religions that use such tactics to recruit new suckers. Bring on the hate-mail!
I’m looking forward to the chick tracts that will come from this. Please try to make all the pages the same size, the Cthulhu chick tract is kinda hard to print off and staple into an actual pamphlet.
Dang Bobby, big plans. I’m not sure I like the idea of sheep followers, but I do like getting adds on religious sites to get them here. I assure you, my creative skills are being put to work.
But I can’t give any money. Sorry, broke :(
I like the idea of bringing more people to the site. However, as Avatar of Reason et al mentioned, fooling the gullible makes us no better than the established churches.
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I really would hate to see us become the New Scientologists!
@non-Pope Alchemist
“I really would hate to see us become the New Scientologists!”
Agreed. Still, if we do become like them, can I be one of the Scientologists-like Pastafarians who rake in obscene amounts of money from it, rather than one of the poor sods who cough it up?
I’ve mixed feelings here. If we try to educate or make people think by showing them ‘alternatives’ to their religions, than it would be ok with me. That’s what this was all about from the beginning: open peoples eyes.
But spaming sites with ads or acting like fundies is not. I fear, as mentioned, that some people will take it too serious and either get more extreme with their own religion (just to show we’re wrong) or get too involved in this one till they actually believe it.
Fourth’d.
Quite happy to write some ridiculous rubbish if people can point me to some suggested rip off sites though.
Although I am still spending a lot of time researching the Thong Dynasty, so I am not sure how much time I will have ;)
Alchenist
“fooling the gullible makes us no better than the established churches.”
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I think that if they are that gullible, then they are definately safer with us. Perhaps we could even manage to train them out of some of that gullibilty?
@St John the Blasphemist: There’s already the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (Twice-Reformed) so I don’t know if more splinter groups would be a significant change.
I mean, if they started getting involved in Pastafarianism, how long would it take them to find out information surrounding its origins?
Alchemist
Notice I didn’t say anything at all about new sheep. (:))
I thought this was about getting to them over to an FSM site and then easing them into the concepts of Pastafarianism. Could be more effective then mentioning FSM on xtian site forums.
My faith tells me that his noodliness reaches into the hearts and minds by word of pasta filled mouths. Yes we talk with our mouths full no matter what the masses may think. In doing so occassionally the toungue gets caught in the cheek.
How the hell do people track you down?
www.whois.net does not show your real name.
Is our prophet being funny or what? I imagine some gullibles’ faces when they find out what they’ve stumbled upon. Not sure that’s the way to attract (or trick) people to our movement.
Very strange twists our prophet’s mind takes, sometimes. But that comes along (for free…) with creativity and humour :)
What is happening to Pasta nowadays? Do you stay awake at night, worried about genetically modified foodstock? If you, like many other true Pastafarians, are truly concerned about the state of the world food supply, you will must click this link: http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2000/4/22/article_01.htm
The fate of Pastafarians around the world depends on you reading this article. Prepare thyself for the coming of the Great Marinara!
Insincerely,
Bob
What is happening to Pasta nowadays? Do you stay awake at night, worried about genetically modified foodstock? If you, like many other true Pastafarians, are truly concerned about the state of the world food supply, you will must click this link: http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2000/4/22/article_01.htm
The fate of Pastafarians around the world depends on you reading this article. Prepare thyself for the coming of the Great Marinara!
Insincerely,
Bob
why didn’t my comment come on?
I think you have pissed off the FSM, Bobby - the site has died big time - we are all struggling to get on it.
When you get a chancecan you elaborate on what you mean, we are all a bit concerned about deliberately deceiving people - using satire is a different thing.
Thanks!
And sorry to hear about your scare - that must have been awful :(
I think this is a great idea. Not to criticize, but it seems like there hasn’t been much going on with Pastafarianism lately. As stated above, the whole movement started by mimicking the strategies of ID to highlight how ridiculous it is to give special treatment to back-asswards thinking when religion is involved. This issue seems as hot as ever, particularly now with Hitchens getting all the press he does. Why not keep the FSM in the loop?
As for how far to go, I say we take ourselves exactly as seriously as the Jehova’s Witnesses do (or Catholics, or IDists, etc etc) in the spirit of The Prophet’s original intent. Whenever a mainstream religion begs for special treatment of their ridiculous beliefs, there should be a Pastafarian in there asking for the same thing. The best use of the FSM is to discourage people from turning their brains off when they hear “religion” by shocking them into critically examining our religious beliefs in the same context as the beliefs of others. Hopefully they see the point and start applying critical thinking to all the nonsense in the Watchtower and elsewhere.
I like the idea of using dietary advice to lure them into an ad. Although, it would be in bad taste to have FSM ads popping up on harmless sites about health and diet. Not only is it intrusive and annoying to those who we have no issue with, but it becomes much less effective when not in close proximity to other “serious” religious ads.
I also like the Freddy Spaghetti thing, does anyone feel like starting a webcomic series? The Homestar Runner equivalent of Veggie Tales!
I’m off to support the cause and buy some merchendise! Ramen.
I think this is a great idea. Not to criticize, but it seems like there hasn’t been much going on with Pastafarianism lately. As stated above, the whole movement started by mimicking the strategies of ID to highlight how ridiculous it is to give special treatment to back-asswards thinking when religion is involved. This issue seems as hot as ever, particularly now with Hitchens getting all the press he does. Why not keep the FSM in the loop?
As for how far to go, I say we take ourselves exactly as seriously as the Jehova’s Witnesses do (or Catholics, or IDists, etc etc) in the spirit of The Prophet’s original intent. Whenever a mainstream religion begs for special treatment of their ridiculous beliefs, there should be a Pastafarian in there asking for the same thing. The best use of the FSM is to discourage people from turning their brains off when they hear “religion” by shocking them into critically examining our religious beliefs in the same context as the beliefs of others. Hopefully they see the point and start applying critical thinking to all the nonsense in the Watchtower and elsewhere.
I like the idea of using dietary advice to lure them into an ad. Although, it would be in bad taste to have FSM ads popping up on harmless sites about health and diet. Not only is it intrusive and annoying to those who we have no issue with, but it becomes much less effective when not in close proximity to other “serious” religious ads.
I also like the Freddy Spaghetti thing, does anyone feel like starting a webcomic series? The Homestar Runner equivalent of Veggie Tales!
I’m off to support the cause and buy some merchendise! Ramen.
Sounds like the JWs were just assulting people at random.
The idea of parodying the promotional material of others should be a whale lot of fun.
@One Eyed Wonderkin May 17th, 2007 at 1:13 pm “Sounds like the JWs were just assulting people at random. The idea of parodying the promotional material of others should be a whale lot of fun.”
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It could also make people run away from it or make them throw it away, like they do with the original… whahaha…
Arrr…
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What? It’s May??
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OK, then I nominate Jenna Jameson as an honorary Pastafarian celebrity.
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BCA
The Mormons have infiltrated the Boy Scouts pretty thoroughly. They host the meetings in their church buildings, and encourage men in the church to start and run troops. Their control of the Boy Scouts runs all the way up the organization because they started at the bottom.
Not having physical church buildings is going to be a problem for marketing in that way, but couldn’t the same thing be done for on-line groups?
That would mean hosting organizations meetings and forums at our ‘location’, and ensuring that Pastafarians moderate and control them. We would not necessarily proselytize, but just make the organizations members aware of our existence.
@Jolly Blogger
The hour that we take ourselves seriously is the hour that we become a new species of fundie. No one will gain an open mind through the blunt mimicry that you suggest. If we act like a real religion, fundies will be all the more inclined to treat us like one. They will decry us as devils or else think us sad fools and sinners for believing in a false god. Look at the world around you for proof of the point: If complete mimicry had the power to open minds, then no one would have blind faith any longer because all existing religions either copy other religions or are copied by others. The fact that there are still a great many people with blind faith shows that your tactic will not be effective.
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This website is a lot like Swift’s “A Modest Proposal”. “A Modest Proposal” was an obvious satire. Very few people who read a modest proposal decide to kill and eat babies. If I may continue to use that metaphor, your recommendation that we take ourselves seriously would be roughly analogous to Swift deciding to kill and eat babies in real life, just to attract people’s attention. No one would laugh, and no one would consider the possibility that he was right.
-Avatar of Reason
How about partnering up with Chef Boyardee? ;)
As for all those worried about being ‘just as guilty’ of tricking dupes as other religions do? Don’t!!!
Do you think J.R. “Bob” Dobbs built his mighty Church of the SubGenius by being a namby pamby who was worried about coming off as a hypocrite?! No sir ma’am! We clobber folks over the head with lines like “You’ve got to learn to think for yourself, but only “Bob” can show you how!”
It’s like a Zen koan or being slapped and told that if we “stare at end of finger we miss all the heavenry grory”.
Sometimes you’ve got to shake people’s heads up a bit to get the bullshit inside to settle and pack down tightly before you can cram any more in…
I have a suggestion for some text ad copy(such as on adsense and such. I think that you should target creationist / anti-evolution websites with this line.
Who is the Intelligent Designer?
[link]We have an Idea. [/link]
Those damned Jehova’s Witnesses!
RAmen
@ Avatar of Reason - we’ve never really spoken but I find myself agreeing with you 100% (that’s incredibly unusual BTW :) )
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@Jay
“How the hell do people track you down?
www.whois.net does not show your real name.”
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Jay - it’s possible - not with whois. If Bobby used his real name then…..
I won’t go into details but we all give away personal information accidentally on the net.
It’s frighteningly easy!
(that’s incredibly unusual BTW :) )
Erm - meant with anyone - not just you :))
“Pope Pixel the Vertebrate”
Aha! I just knew it! Must be due my background studies in biology. :p))
@Avatar of Reason - didn’t mean I usually disagree with you - was a general statement :)
Wonder if this posts - not many are today
Psst Pope Pixel….I’m a vertebrate too….I think :)))
@Alchemist:
Thanks for the clarification.
I think it would be a good idea to satarize the tricks others use. It’s just a matter of making it obvious that we are using satire before they get too far in.
Avatar - ya - sorry. It could have been read the wrong way - sorry if you thought that.
I’m in complete agreement with you re. this.
This isn’t why I’m here.
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Not sure what I’m going to do if this is our new policy! Well, yes I am :(
@kev3056
“I think it would be a good idea to satarize the tricks others use.”
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Yeah I like satire too kev (:))
@Nikkiee
Check your back, you never know if all those times you got called “spineless” had some merit to them or not.
RAmen
I give 100% of my support to this Satirical undertaking. It will be a treat to all Satirists, everywhere.
@St John the Blasphemist May 17th, 2007 at 2:49 am
“Rather than infiltrating religion with more religion, how about infiltrating them with dietary advice? Do some research on the dietary benefits of pasta & noodles & sell it to them.”
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I can see that (:))
Tell the Mormons/Jehovahs…”Your body is your temple…..”
Aristotle, God of Satire
Hi Aristotle I was just wondering where you were. What ideas say you?
Pope Pixel the *insert adjective here*
“Check your back, you never know if all those times you got called “spineless†had some merit to them or not.”
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Hahahahahaha….not something I’ve heard a lot through my life Pixel….not to my face anyway. (:)))
Hmm…can’t seem to find a tail to support “That Bitch” reference either (:)))
Maybe it was docked when I was a baby :p))
Ooops…Spam! Sorry :((
Careful! If that was a go at me it won’t be taken sitting down!
Nice one Bobby - you’ve set us against each other!
@Alchemist May 17th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
“Careful! If that was a go at me it won’t be taken sitting down!”
No it wasn’t…why taking everything so personal all of a sudden? :((
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“Nice one Bobby - you’ve set us against each other!”
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I don’ think so…you know I’ve always had my own opinions!
Just my normal sense of humour (:)))
Let’s get back to the satire (:))
Hmmm… this whole thing smells a little bit fishy to me. Then again, most things smell fishy when you’re on a pirate ship :)
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Asking your own people for money, Mr. Bobby, is starting to sound like a bonafide fundie church. How about… we provide as much creativity and brain power as you need, and you provide the dinero?
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If outsiders buy more Pastafarian products, then more power to you. But soliciting from your own followers is a bit Oral Roberts-esque, don’t you think?
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Just thoughts from a pirate captain. I’m open to discussion, of course.
Well at least we are all debating if we should do this, that alone shows how unlike the other religions we are :)
Alchemist Sorry if you took my comment the wrong way…honestly :((
I’ve just been in a really happy mood lately is all. (:)))
Nikki - this thread has really pissed me off! I feel as though I’m in the wrong place. This is not why I’m here.
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I cannot begin to describe the anger I felt when I first read it -really!
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I’m not being silly either. I’m livid.
Captain Hook May 17th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
“Asking your own people for money, Mr. Bobby, is starting to sound like a bonafide fundie church. How about… we provide as much creativity and brain power as you need, and you provide the dinero?”
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I second that Captain (:))
RAmen
@Wench Nikkiee - What ideas say I? I think balancing redox equations using the half-reaction method is the most ass-backwards method of balancing equations ever invented! Can anything ever get any more convoluted?! Have you ever done it? I know someone here is a chemist, but I don’t remember who.
Whoever came up with the “half-reaction method” must of been the kind of person who loves forcing hours of homework on students.
I’ll probably figure it out sooner or later (I had better learn it, since I’m taking AP next year), but it’s so irritatingly complicated right now.
I often wonder how my chemistry teacher can understand and remember all the stuff she has taught us.
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Oh, I have another idea. I just came up with a slogan. Or a peom. Something.
You might as well not take Chem,
For all your lab results will be changed by the FSM.
I do want to buy a t-shirt and one of those sexy little tops at some stage. Bobby won’t get rich off me though. :))
However I do print out brochures and hand then around out at the uni periodically.
Especially around our biology buildings! The fundies have started placing sandwich boards out in front of those buildings a couple of times a week! And I live in Australia….you know that secular country down south? :((
Since this plan of Bobby’s involves Satire, I’m all for it.
I just read some other posts. Now I’m not sure that I am all for it.
Oh well - here we go :)
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[Rant] Bobby - I’ve had death threats too - ten a penny! Yes, they are concerning, of course they are.
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Is that cause to ask us to not only pay for your advertising but to also create it? Will those who do the work share in the revenue?
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What do we tell the “sheep” when they come here? Do we still act as a parody of religion or do we become a religion?
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Where the hell is going? [/rant]
Aristotle
“Have you ever done it?”
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Yes I have…had to do all the basic chem along with biochem. Remember balancing re-dox half reactions only vaguely right at this minute. Will remind myself a little later (:)) I think I enjoyed some of that.
“You might as well not take Chem,
For all your lab results will be changed by the FSM.”
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Hahahahaha…good one.
I charge between $300 and $1,100 per hour.
But I don’t do Religion.
@kev3056 May 17th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
“Well at least we are all debating if we should do this, that alone shows how unlike the other religions we are :)”
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RAmen kev3056 (:))
Twinky - more than I do! I can charge up to £1000 for a day though :)
@Alchemist
“What do we tell the “sheep†when they come here?”
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How much you like them?
*hiding under desk from possible death threat* (;))
And they wonder why we are always fucking off. :)
(no - I keep my clothes on :)))) - just in case anyone else is as sick as I am)
Alchemist
“I’ve had death threats too - ten a penny!”
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@Twinky Winky
“I charge between $300 and $1,100 per hour.”
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For a death threat?
Want to be a bloody good one for that price!
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I’ll take the ten a penny ones thanks! (:))
Dirty Deeds, Not So Cheap!
Nikki - you know why I’ve had them - and you know who from too.
It is a worry. You pretend it’s nothing but it isn’t. I do sympathise with bobby there - I make light of them as I’m sure he does.
Still…..
I don’t know if anyone will read this anymore, but it seems to me that everyone is taking this either too seriously or missing the point (unless everyone else is getting it, and I’m the one missing the point). The idea seems to be: these religions are always trying to push their beliefs on everyone else, lets push our beliefs onto them and show them what its like. In the meantime, we might even get a few other supporters.
As for people saying that it is wrong or whatever to ask money from the followers: what part of religion/organization don’t you understand? Where is this money meant to come from then? The reason this is being discussed is because it is a community action, we being the community. If it was an executive decision, or a move solely the responsibility of Bobby, then the post would read “Now this is what I’ve already done…”. This is a possible course of action for pastafarians, for the church of FSM, and thus the community should be contributing in all aspects to make it work.
Finally, we don’t seem to be trying to actually trick people, this seems to be merely another aspect of our ongoing parody of other religions. And, as someone mentioned, it is a way to get FSMism back into the news, or at least get some public action going again.
Oh yeah, and sorry for an essay-length post.
1) I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.
@Alchemist May 17th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
“you know why I’ve had them - and you know who from too.”
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Umm sorry…I’ve forgotten…remind me?
No doubt it be dangerous to disagree with others iseads on the net! Just look at all the death threats we’ve had from the fundies.
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I have a visitor…going out for Friday lunch. Think I’ll order some Pasta today. (:))
Catch you all later on the slippery slide ;))
“dangerous to disagree with others iseads on the net”
Ideas…ideas… not iseads. (:)))
Later
RAmen
I think that if we try to get sheep followers, than really, really awful things could happen. Terrible things. Wars. 20 bucks scientology started as a joke. I mean, look at it. Think about it. And then the guy who made that up probably thought up something like this, and BAM! we have another crazy-ass religion. I think taking this action would create a monster; the same sort of monster Pastafarianism is trying to point out for what it is.
Twinky Winky May 17th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
“wonder why we are always fucking off. :)”
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Monkeys?
That’s that other guy, He’s the Monkey Fucker.
I’m just a Fucker. :)
Well I think that the church of the FSM does need to get back in the news, gorgia has approved state funded bible classes after all… http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/08/AR2007030801968.html
This would be a good way to get us back in the news, or at least more widley noticed. In other news I get to go debate religion with the pastor of a local church on June 3rd!
And to be on topic, we could at least brainstorm a few ideas, then see if its actually worth doing.
@Captain String Cheese
In case you didn’t know, Scientology was started by a sci-fi writer, L. Ron Hubbard. Yeah, he wrote Battlefield Earth. I really, really hope it was a joke. Alien ghosts… yeeeah…
Good gosh gracious!! I don’t understand what crawled up some of your asses!!!
Bobby isnt hitting us up for money like some giant ass pimp for no reason. He’s not even insisting we do so, its a suggestion. If you don’t want to, then DON’T! For the love of the FSM quit acting like babies!!!! This is getting way out of hand, I think certain people need to step back and take a breather.
And if you don’t want to take part in the fun, then DON’T!! I for one think that this is amusing and wholy support it. I’m going to work with my graphic artist friend and see what we can acomplish. I think that if anything wakes those fundie’s up, it’ll be this.
@Kuro Mizu - I’m simply afraid that Pastafarianism will become a full-blown religion with fanatics and fundies.
Avatar of Reason has a relevant argument.
And so does Alchemist:
“Alchemist May 17th, 2007 at 5:41 am
I like the idea of bringing more people to the site. However, as Avatar of Reason et al mentioned, fooling the gullible makes us no better than the established churches.
I really would hate to see us become the New Scientologists!”
@Kuro Mizu
“And if you don’t want to take part in the fun, then DON’T!â€
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I completely agree with you Kuro Mizu. RAmen
Some of the above posts seem to portray a knee jerk reaction to the mere suggestion of broadening the terms of reference to this fine parody.
Bobby, I would have been quite frightened by your experience. May the FSM always keep you safe.
Ramen
[quote]
henderob
“If you want to help, you can either donate, or buy some FSM merchandise.”
[unquote]
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I think it’s a great idea. You have my support Bobby.
RAmen
Alright, here’s my contribution to the ad campaign. It’s intriguing, it mentions pirates and pasta, and most imprtantly, it’s brightly colored (which we all know fundies like. why else the stained glass windows?)
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http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v146/orlandoishot/pastaad.gif
@Aristotle,
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“You might as well not take Chem,
For all your lab results will be changed by the FSM.”
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You truly have a grasp of the nature of His Holy Noodliness. RAmen to you!
To Twinky Winky… any reference to AC/DC is good in my book! (”Dirty Deeds, Not So Cheap!”) AC/DC ROX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve thought a bit more about this and maybe there is some reason for concern. Maybe Bobby is at this moment gathering funds to buy Kool Aid in bulk? Maybe….maybe TLM was right after all! Oh No!!! Eeeek!!
Run!!! people….run!!!
www.venganza.org/2006/12/06/run.htm
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(;))))
www.venganza.org/2006/12/06/run.htm
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“Dear People who believe in the FSM,
Bobby Henderson is the next Jim Jones. Run, run while you still can.
Thank You,
TheLaughingMan”
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Can’t say we weren’t all warned. ;)))
*sniff sniff*
I’ll have tropical flavour thanks Bobby….same as last time.
I’ll have a think through some YEC propaganda when I get a chance.
RAmen
Maybe we should do like Robert Tilton used to. Promise the homeless they’ll get free food in return for showing up at our congregations.
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But unlike Robert Tilton’s technique, we should actually give them free food.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Not Fucking Around
If you’re going to do ads and it is in some way meant to parody the way certain religions “trick” people - why not simply turn the tables on them?
Have the thing start out as a typical religious advert(not the tricky kind) that never really makes any mention about who this is for at first, and then have it in some (subtle)way “flip” things - making it apparent that the whole thing was about Pastafarianism/FSM all along . Showing that type of advertisement in connection with something like the FSM in order to put things into perspective… Just a thought, and I have no clue as to how it might be done.. key guideline for whoever would make such an ad: don’t take yourself(or FSM) too bloody serious.
Now that that’s out of my system, I think I should say that despite what I just wrote, I *do* share the fears of Avatar, Alchemist and Aristotle (and some other names I don’t remember at time of typing - and that I’m too lazy too hunt down) concerning this..
sorry about doble posting, but a quick thing had to be said: sorry about ridiculous typo’s (the “..too hunt..” being the most obvious at the moment). I blame lack of sleep, and typing slightly faster than I think.
Aristotle
“I often wonder how my chemistry teacher can understand and remember all the stuff she has taught us.”
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Teachers editions of test books :))
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I wouldn’t recognise a half-equation if you slapped me in the face with one. I can’t remember using them at Uni (but that’s understandable as I can’t remember much about Uni).
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That said - it gets worst Aristotle, sorry :( - If you take it at Uni level you’ll eventually come across Physical Organic Chemistry, reaction kinetics and rate equations (which I hated).
Or if you really want to spend ages pulling your hair out there’s synthetic organic chemistry and retro-synthetic analysis (the synthon approach) - where you’re given a target molecule, analyse it ie - pull it to pieces into it’s constituent synthons and propose a synthesis (I actually enjoyed that).
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You’ll get there - took me a while to get my head around molarity at first!
make that “Teachers Editions of text books :)
Heres a film about Jehovah’s Witnesses for you all to laugh at
http://www.knocking.org/
http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/knocking/
Funny stuff. I’m one of Jehovah’s Witness so I wonder how much you have made up about them trapping you as that’s never what we do. Also the images of Awake Magazine you have are 2 years old I think, so did the 2 witnesses really give you them or have you just made a lot of this up with a lot of half truths (as the media like to do a lot about us). We usually hand out Magazines that are up to date (e.g. April or May 2007 - not May 22 2005 as appears on your image). If you don’t agree with what we say all you have to do is say no thanks and we respect your views. We never force anything on anyone.
I think you should show a bit more respect to Jehovah’s Witnesses. I can understand you have negative views on all the crazy religions in the world today but if you get talking to JW’s you will see we are different as we base what we say on the bible. For example;
“The Creative Days—24 Hours Each?
Some fundamentalists claim that creationism rather than evolution explains pre-human history. They assert that all physical creation was produced in just six days of 24 hours each sometime between 6,000 and 10,000 years ago. But in doing so, they promote an unscriptural teaching that has caused many to ridicule the Bible.
Is a day in the Bible always literally 24 hours in length? Genesis 2:4 speaks of “the day that Jehovah God made earth and heaven.” This one day encompasses all six of the creative days of Genesis chapter 1. According to Bible usage, a day is a measured period of time and can be a thousand years or many thousands of years. The Bible’s creative days allow for thousands of years of time each. Further, the earth was already in existence before the creative days began. (Genesis 1:1) On this point, therefore, the Bible account is compatible with true science.—2 Peter 3:8.
Commenting on claims that the creative days were only 24 literal hours in length, molecular biologist Francis Collins remarks: “Creationism has done more harm to serious notions of belief than anything in modern history.”
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2002/6/8/article_01.htm
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2000/10/8/article_02.htm
There is a very fair, balanced documentary about JW’s being shown on American TV soon (not made by Watchtower) which if you are open minded as you clam to be may be worth you looking at;
“KNOCKING opens the door on Jehovah’s Witnesses. They are moral conservatives who stay out of politics and the Culture War, but they won a record number of court cases expanding freedom for everyone. They refuse blood transfusions on religious grounds, but they embrace the science behind bloodless surgery. In Nazi Germany, they could fight for Hitler or go to the concentration camps. They chose the camps. Following two families who stand firm for their controversial and misunderstood Christian faith, KNOCKING reveals how one unlikely religion helped to shape history beyond the doorstep.”
i cant get the links to come on so see my post above for links to film - I’m sure you will all start slagging me off but I’m used to it :)
PS - There are no adverts on www.watchtower.org website as Watchtower is a not for profit organisation so I’m not sure your idea will work.
another site to check out www.jw-media.org
Hi Pete - good of you to be nice and polite and to give us the info on the pamphlets - probably useful (in a conspiracy theory sort of way - sorry Alchemist, couldn’t resist it!)
Can I just ask you though, do you really believe all the JW stuff?
I mean, really, only 144,000 people allowed into heaven - do you seriously think you are *that* good?
I must admit, being a nurse the thing I find hardest is the blood transfusion thing - we have had JW’s camped out on our ward to prevent one of their own “giving in to temptation” and having a life saving transfusion - sorry, but that is unacceptable behaviour! (FWIW we told them to go away and the patient had the transfusion and lived)
Just try to think a little logically about all the stuff you have read and been told - does it make ANY kind of sense in the world you see around you?
Like my neice said about the Easter Bunny “What an odd thing to do”
From the mouth of babes……
:D
@Pete
Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t try to force their reli