Tuned in to your FSM page today on a “tip” from a friend. Then I read through all the bullshit you could deliver…hmmm..
I have to admit it’s very clever copy, very tempting–but for a target audience I can’t imagine. Who? Middle-aged, overweight, and divorced heterophylls?
Physics major, huh? You should’ve gone into ceramics…you know…or advanced welding design, or maybe a sausage making class might help you get over it.
But you’re a good comic, for sure! It’s pure Vaudville! Burns & Allen couldn’t do it better! Saturday Night Live is no competition to your act. Wow! It’s all bullshit, of course, and everybody, I hope, knows it. But you’re quite the comedian and you’ve been able to pull it off!
Are you making any money off this? You must be…you’re no fool!!
I might be able to round up some charitable donations for you…you know, the same kind of folks who eagerly respond to telemarketers selling phone card machines
But, Bobby, Bobby, what you fail to understand, you poor fool, is that what you really need to do, for your deepest self-of-selfs is to…find yourself a new bitch, asshole!!!!
P.S. Do you have you enough information to process & respond to this…?
-CML1
this whole thing is shit. flying noodle monster…..yeah. get a life!!
Do you realize that no one actually believes there is
a Flying Spaghetti Monster? The whole idea is a fun
made up one in order to show the ridiculousness of
believing in something that you have never seen and
that you have no factual evidence that it ever
existed.
email kry12wth_me@yahoo.com
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Do all comments get as off-topic as this one, thus proving that you either don’t care about what the person is saying or have short attention spans?
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Or do you simply have nothing better to do than to sit at your computers all day and type replies to each others’ meaningless thoughts?
If so, get a life.
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I swear I’m not a weasel. Or a ferret. Or any other rodent.
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Oh, and 153rd post. Oh yeah!
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I BELIEVE!!!!!
FSM has filled a void in my heart that I didn’t even know existed.
Thank you Flying Spaghetti Monster!
And Ramen to all my new found friends
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@beastlt12
Welcome to the church of the FSM. Hang around, post some more if you like. This is a nice cyberspot for believers in the FSM. Or atheists. Or christians/muslims/etc with a sense of humour.
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The lord is not in my heart,…
but spaghetti is in my belly!
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Welcome Kevin! I do hope that you do not mean that as an insult to our noble religion. In any case, i do not suggest that anyone stuffs his or her own heart with tortellini. That sounds most unpleasant.
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XD The best part about that was the implication that we ‘copied’. So, what, there’s another church BEFORE us that was teaching about a flying spaghetti monster and the consequences of pirates becoming an endangered species?
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@HunterBlackLuna
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Perhaps they are refering to how our religion has an omnipotent deity who created the world, much like their own faith. If so, they are sadly mistaken, as they do not realize that the Bible (and therefore the Judeo-Christian belief system) was written by a number of drunks/stoners, long after the advent of Pastafarianism.
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heterophylls…..I think he might be calling someone a plant.
According to several different Internets, heterophylla is a species of several different plants. One is like a Pine tree (A. heterophylla…not very cool), and another is a carnivorous plant (P. heterophylla….Very cool.) To be honest, If I were to be compared to any plant, I would want to be compared to a carnivorous one (Which are the most pirate-y, I think).
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I’m a 17 year old girl… i suppose i don’t qualify as “target audience”.
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Kendra – you are the target audience for the Church of the FSM.
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Welcome about matey! ARG.
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@ kendra
target audience for what now?
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Ok, I know this is entirelly out of context, but I’ve been reading some nice hatemail all day so I just had to write something. I am just one of a group of interested atheists, I live a very social life with both rekigious (of ALL kinds) and non-religious friends, enough about me, just wanted to say that since no one else will post in my name, Im doing it.
I consider myself a typical pastafarian, I believe in the FSM (that is, I don’t really… or.. naww) I follow the rules of the FSM (those that I know of, cause I only read any religious text shallow, including kaballah, the Bible and the Koran) and I pray to my deity (whenever I feel like eating out)
Point is, ain’t these people really ignorant for trying to push their beliefs onto us, even though we make an effort to free ourselves from just these narrow points of views? Is it not equally arrogant to rub it under our noses that according to their strict beliefs, we will miss out on life’s rewards and even be punished in the afterlife and if not; to atleast take it for granted that we should care?
If there is any aggression on this website, it ain’t comming from us, am I right?
I hope I am the typical target audience of the church of the FSM, even though I wright like a 14 year old on the account that I am not really a native speaker of the english language! :D
-thank you for giving me space to breathe and speak my mind RAmen!
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@Ryejahdin
Welcome to the church of the FSM. Hang around, post some more, especially if it helps you unload and it’s nice stuff like what you just posted. Small question:
“I only read any religious text shallow, including kaballah”
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Huh? I thought the kaballah was the black rock in Mecca that Muslims touch to have it absorb their sin. If I’m mistaken, what is that thing called again?
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sorry, Im wee drunk, I meant the Cabala (not the Torâ), look it up on wiki! (jewish friends :) )
hope I didn’t make a total -rear end- of myself right now!
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Oh yeah that stone thingy, the “al-Hajar-ul-Aswad” that sticks out of the side of that cube “thingy” (the “kaaba”) is that what you were thinking off… the thing the pilgrims have to walk arround and kiss and worship. Hell, that’s a hell of alot better than a bearded old guy any day right?
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This is possibly the nicest hate mail using the word “bullshit” I have ever read. :)
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Ok, but to be open minded, FSM just like any other religion is 100% BS, that’s the whole point, we just chose to believe it out of free will without having to worship it and invest our lives! ;)
There’s the difference, we CAN and we DO admit it!
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I would actually say 85% BS, honestly.
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Kendra: You ARE the target audience for the people who made this whole thing both necessary and possible!!! Without the Kansas School Board, we’d all still be little pieces of orzo dancing aimlessly in a pot of boiling water.
What IS your school teaching you? Creationism? FSMism? Transactional analysis? (Any old folks out there?) Common sense? Of course I love Our Noodlieness, but I celebrate him in my own way: I don’t twirl, I cut. I know, it’s wierd. But I don’t go around telling them that they’re not paying proper homage because they don’t eat spaghetti like I do, especially in public school cafeterias. If someone notices me cutting my pasta and asks why I’m not twirling, I’m happy to tell him about my faith in our lord and my way of keeping it in my daily life, just the same as when folks stop me on the sidewalk as I strides by in me pirate’s regalia and ask why I’m so attired, I’ll always share as much of the truth wit’em as they’ll stand for, but I’m not apt to stand on a keg and preach on streetcorners to anybody in earshot. (Well, maybe, after a bit of grog.)
Hey, believe what you want. It’ll work. Guarenteed. And let other folks believe what they want. It’ll work just as well.
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Actually, they should teach Common Sense in schools…
CS 101.
Advanced CS.
Applied CS.
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I like this idea. :D
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“…find yourself a new bitch,…”
How very offensive to all women! I hope you get into an unfortunate accident involving some wenches and they teach you to show some respect!
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We might ask Wench Beth to toss a frying-pan at him, Beth could win a gold medal in that discipline :)
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Does anyone like the new drawing on the home page?
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Yes! Great work of art commodore! Well done :) Extra stripper points for you.
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Yep, nice drawing. And good of you to take a picture of it too before it was wiped out.
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Wow….congrats Commodore Angryy :)
RAmen
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@Black Moustache the Pirate Aug 21st, 2007 at 9:48 pm
“…find yourself a new bitch,…”
How very offensive to all women!
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Oh…I thought CML1 was suggesting bobby get a new dog :p) I have a relatively *new* bitch…well she’s about 13wks old now…I like her a lot :))
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My two cents for the explanation of “Heterophyll”:
In Botany, plants are heterophyllic if they display two types of leaves. Common for waterplants, in which the leaves beneath the water surface look quite different compared to those above. In German, the terminus technicus is “Heterophyllie”; don’t know whether it is also used by English-speaking botanists.
Thus, the term mentioned above reads as “divorced plants with two types of leaves”.
Don’t see much sense in it.
Darwin
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@Darwin, yep Heterophyllous is an english botanical description.
@space cadet – TA – like yeah man, you must be hippy generation like me. I think hippies have an affinity with piracy.
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Aye, it be a nice piece o’ work, there, Commodore! I congratulate ye on yer bravery o’ doin’ such’a thing in a Catholic school. May ye be treated wit’ respect from now ’till never.
Fair winds, Commodore.
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“I have to admit it’s very clever copy, very tempting–but for a target audience I can’t imagine. Who? Middle-aged, overweight, and divorced heterophylls?”
I wanted to know what a heterophyll was since I am one, supposedly…
From Wikipedia –
“Araucaria heterophylla (synonym A. excelsa) is a distinctive conifer, a member of the ancient and now disjointly distributed family Araucariaceae. As its vernacular name Norfolk Island Pine implies, the tree is endemic to Norfolk Island, a small island in the Pacific Ocean between Australia, New Zealand and New Caledonia. Despite its name however, it is not a pine. The genus Araucaria occurs across the South Pacific, especially concentrated in New Caledonia (about 700 km due north of Norfolk Island) where 13 closely related and similar-appearing species are found.”
So, I am a tree? A divorced, middle-aged, overweight tree?
How is that insulting?
Peace
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Darwin Aug 22nd, 2007 at 3:45 am
“In Botany, plants are heterophyllic if they display two types of leaves.”
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Yep that’s it. I study Botany. :) More specifically those with different leaf morphologies between the young and mature plants.
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So Towjam :)
“I am a tree? A divorced, middle-aged, overweight tree?”
Have you outgrown your first leaf form yet? :p)
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Or as Darwin said, bearing both types.
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While since I covered that one. Appologies Darwin :)
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Well the wife of the man with the longest finger nails in the world was asked
How do you cope you know
As a girl and she said well
It’s not so bad
You get used to it
It’s like making love to a tree
Well I’m a tree
Make love to me
I’m a tree
Make love to me
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Who? Middle-aged, overweight, and divorced heterophylls?
Try 13 year-old unitarian girls. :D
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@-CML1
Excellent rant, I’m not sure what it was about, but you certainly would fit in with any number of fundies.
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I bet the tip was the first quarter of a dick inserted right in far end of your Intestine right?
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I love the way we are described as a ‘copy’. Is he going to tell his mummy that we copied his religion? If this is such a clever copy and it is also bullshit then effectively what you are saying is that we are a clever copy of your bullshit religion? Take your time with that one.
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The hatemail on this site is great because most of the time it is really poorly written and thought out.
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