hmmm… what an interesting idea…. a shame i like pasta. mmm…. tasty. i like the giant balls… meatballs…. and put them in my mouth. Anyhow… how on earth can you believe such nonsense. Pasta wasn’t even around till the 1600’s, and what on earth would pirates have to do with any freakin thing of global warming?? well, i don’t want to be wrapped in my bowl of spaghetti idea’s, but go suck some balls… meatballs…
Adam
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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The Flying Spaghetti Monster’s balls are bigger and tastier than any other god’s balls, so deal with it. You can either eat inferior pasta with dried out tiny balls — or you can join us and partake in THE REAL THING, with beer and strippers on the side. Your choice.
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Adam, Pasta has been around far, far longer than the 1600’s do be carefull with you “facts”. Plus He created pasta here for us to enjiy! Which you do, so you are almost a Pastafarian already. And as for the pirates connection with gobal warming, check the graph, that is more proof than any other religion has.
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I notice the only time you used a capital letter in that entire post was in the word ‘Pasta’. That certainly looks like a sign of respect for His Noodliness to me.
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St John the Blapshemist
Saint of Proper Nouns
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Oh, except for the word ‘Anyhow’. But I’m sure there’s a link.
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I’m upper, upper class high society
God’s gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
All the social papers say I’ve got the biggest balls of all
.
CHORUS
I’ve got big balls
I’ve got big balls
And they’re such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he’s got big balls,
And she’s got big balls,
But we’ve got the biggest balls of them all!
.
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody comes and comes again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I’ve got great balls of fire!
.
CHORUS
.
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they’re held for pleasure,
They’re the balls that I like best.
And my balls are always bouncing,
To the left and to the right.
It’s my belief that my big balls should be held every night.
.
CHORUS
.
And I’m just itching to tell you about them
Oh, we have such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail
Crabs
Crayfish
.
AC/DC, Big Balls
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Supposing the Flying Spaghetti Monster exitss, which is an undeniable fact when you do look at the facts, then pasta would have existed since before the universe!
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David – think “superstrings” :))
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Yes of course His Divine ÃœberNoodliness has existed always, and will forever endure.
If the Noodle-string theory holds to be correct, the entire universe is one big dish of pasta, made in his image.
The earthly pasta, that we prepare and eat to celebrate His Noodliness and because it tastes so darn good, may not have been around quite as long. I think traces of the earliest noodles (that we know of – I really do think he blessed humanity with the grace of complex carbonhydrates much earlier) has been found in presentday China, and they are thougt to be somewhere around 4000-6000 years old (if my memory serves me correct).
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Check out;
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/FSM
.
Absolute proof!
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yeah, if it’s on Wikipedia you know it’s true.
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that was gross…you just put our gods balls in ur mouth. This shows your submission into his noodlyness and as a leader of the southern california devision of Pastafarianism i declare thee a Pastafarian
-RAmen
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@Adam
Of course pasta hasn’t always been on the menu, but that doesn’t mean Pastafarianism is incorrect. The FSM created everything, trust me. You should understand pasta only came about recently as a dish when man created pasta in His image. It just took mankind a while to fully understand the ways of the mighty FSM. As soon as some early prophets did, they made pasta. So the FSM was always there. Surely that’s not too difficult to understand?
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Arrr…
.
Am I wrong to be mildly aroused by this poster?
.
Just Wondering…
.
RAmen
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@ BCA – I wouldn’t exactly call that “wrong”, maybe just a little weird! You fit right in around here! We’re all weird in one way or another… :)))
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@One-Eyed Jack
Yes, that song!
@Adam
Did you just admit that you like giant balls? That’s bad hate-mailing man, everyone knows that when you hate-mail you aren’t supposed to give the enemy ammo! You’re not the brightest button on the parade are ya?
-Pixel Pop, Hero of the Church
RAmen
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Where is the chat program?
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@Jerda
Live chat is currently offline according to the whatsit on the right of the page. There was a post on it being too slow a while back, if memory serves.
@Adam
According to Wikipedia, Pasta has been around way before 1300. Buxter’s suggestion of 4000-6000 years old would tally with young earth creationism – coincidence?
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(ahem)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noodle:
“In October 2005, the oldest noodles yet discovered were found at the Lajia site (Qijia culture) along the Yellow River in Qinghai, China. The 4,000-year-old noodles appear to have been made from foxtail millet and broomcorn millet.”
Besides, that’s just the oldest *discovered* noodle. I am very sure that FSM inspired the creation of dinner made in His image way earlier – how could man possibly have survived without?!!
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To One Eyed Jack… RAmen to you! AC/DC rocks!!
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For them to be discovered, they’d have have to not been eaten, looks like my faculty for English grammer has just left the building, apologies if I make no sense
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Indeed Storm Petrel… it seems unlikely that our early pasta-creating forebears would have left their dinner for archaeologists to dig up milennia later, when they could eat it… I mean, who wants to work for hours in the fields to grow millet or the like, make it into flour, do whatever complex processes are required to transform flour into noodles (my lack of culinary knowledge betrays me), and cook the noodles… and then NOT EAT THEM? Ancient emerging agricultural societies aren’t known for the great quantity of their leftovers…
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I’m not sure how noodles are made, but for pasta, it’s about 2 cups of strong plain flour + 2 beaten eggs + a tiny bit of olive oil + water to bring it together into a non-sticky ball, leave to settle for a few minutes, possibly while making more dough balls, then roll out and cut the desired pasta type, you can get machines for rolling and cutting instead of doing it by hand, then either drape it over clean poles to dry or put straight into boiling water, fresh pasta does cook faster though, so it needs to be checked. The amounts of flour and liquid can vary depending on the size of your cups/eggs, I never was one for exact measurements
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This is so fucking stupid I dont even want to leave a comment (but I did)
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To Retartds… what does your name mean?
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@ Wench Beth, maybe Retartds was in a food fight and meant to write re-tarted, the s, d and e are all pretty close together…
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Heya…. sorry bout the pasta, but ur so stupid. i mean, i forgot u need to tenderize them before u stick them. and “retartd”, methinks yus no guds a engwish.
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good god and not yurgod for godsakes. how can u all be so foolish? just asking. i dont even want to go there. how can you all believe in a pile of soppy wet noodles with the eyes of a crab. don’t you see this all one big joke? I feel bad for all the people that do believe in it.
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Never mind mario, when you start school and learn to read and write you may understand…..or not :)
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@mario
“don’t you see this all one big joke?”
Oh my, I love your grammar! Me think you be not much nice to me!
Ha, I’m glad Kindergarteners have the guts to insult us, and as a matter of fact, this little tike has a better argument than most other fundies we get around here, so a round of applause to him!
-Pixel Pop, Hero of the Church
RAmen
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I’m sure there’s some recipie some where for pasta with crab, so perhaps the similarity between the eyes of the FSM and the eyes of a crab means we should look for said dish, or maybe my brain just hasn’t woken up yet
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I like pie
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Pie is good, especially with ice-cream, after a big pasta dinner…
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“Suck on my chocolate salty balls – stick em in your mouth and suck em”
Thanks to South Park!
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To Mario… get a life. Join the FSM and you will be changed forever. Plus you will learn how to spell, too.
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Just one question for you guys. Does the Flying Spaghetti Monster have cheese on him and if so what kind. It’s just because I like my spaghetti to have cheese on it, makes it taste much yummier
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@Alex -
As far as I’m aware, you can put anything you desire on your spaghetti. Personally, I like mine with meatballs and covered in meat sauce (no cheese for me).
I think most cheese lovers put Parmesan on their pasta, but you could just as easily use an alternative.
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@ Alex – Aristotle is right – you can put whatever you like on your pasta! We have vegetarians on the site; I like a good meat sauce and Parmesan cheese…mmmm basil pesto is good too! Just whatever works for you…
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Rowdy has summed it up better than anyone…”whatever works for you”…. you can’t categorise or pigeon-hole (or even turkey-hole) the FSM, he is bigger than we can possibly imagine, we merely observe his manifestation in our reality, the exact visual appearance is irrelevant, the important message is “pasta”, any sort, any size, any dressing… just remember the pasta. Attempts at schisms completely go against his wishes, we are all touched by his noodly appendages, the same sauce covers us all, who cares what the sauce is?
.
go with pasta…
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>”how on earth can you believe such nonsense”
Is this guy talking about the Christian bible?
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No he talkin about your shit you dumb fuck. Nigel
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Why is he talking about Nigels feaces?
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@Retards
You must have a lot of gaul to call someone dumb in a sentence with completely incorrect grammar and misspelled words!
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How could you?! You made meatballs sound dirty. Shame on you!!!
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Silly Sally
Hello :)))
Do you by any chance live with a football team in Alabama?
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Greetings everyone,
It’s the first time that I happen to come across this website, even though I have heard about the great revelations around FSM for some time.
Just reading this whole thread, it is so easy to see why I wouldn’t want to be Christian, but a Rastafarian instead:
Who would want to end up in Paradise with a bunch of analphabetic (I mean, seriously, I am German and still can’t bear the grammar I see in some posts here), insulting and uptight weirdos that left posts dissing the FSM? You lot sound just like the bunch of people you want to hang out with in afterlife, surrounded by beer volcanoes and strippers!
So, in honor of the almighty FSM, I have changed my name to The Spaetzle (For the Christian posters – that’s a German pasta)
RAmen
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Be welcome Spaetzle! You most certainly made the right choice there in choosing to become a Pastafarian.Best religion in the world :)
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Yeah! Welcome to the worlds most sensible website. You’ll have to talk to Lilith – she’s a fellow German.
Kick off thy shoes and crack open a Becks (bit early but it’s Friday – a Pastafarian holiday).
Again, welcome!
RAmen
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Thanks guys,
Just told my boss about my new religion and that I will have to take all Fridays off from now on. So beer I come.
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@ The Spaetzle
.
“…all Fridays off from now on. So beer I come.”
.
You might run into a bit of religious discrimination there – threaten legal action!
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