You Atheists think you have got it all figured out huh? So you THINK you know that there is no God so you make up this ridiculous fake religion. The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? COME ON!! As if making fun of Christians for believing in God wasn’t bad enough you have to mock us by making up The Flying Spaghetti monster? Yeah, I know that an atheist made this crap up, because no one is stupid enough to actually believe Pasta is our Almighty God. This is totally wrong and whoever started this is seriously going to pay unless you repent. Because if you don’t, you and all your believers are all going to burn in HELL for eternity. So pick up a Bible, and READ IT!!
Sincerely,
A Strong Christian
Beth,
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I believe that it it is wrong to meet out infinite punishment for finite crime.
All mortal crimes are finite so any just God would not punish those he loves forever.
That would be cruel, unfair and disproportionate. In fact it would be a flagrant violation of their human rights.
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I have therefore deduced that what actually happens is that bad people and non-believers are sent to FSM hell only until they realise what they’re missing and what they did wrong, then they get allowed in to proper heaven.
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Also people in heaven are allowed in to hell because:
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1. They can spread the word.
2. Some people might go for the strippers (it takes all sorts and we’re a liberal religion).
3. Some people (particularly the British) actually like stale beer.
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RAmen.
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@Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Apr 25th, 2007 at 1:00 pm “Also people in heaven are allowed in to hell because:.
1. They can spread the word.
2. Some people might go for the strippers (it takes all sorts and we’re a liberal religion).
3. Some people (particularly the British) actually like stale beer.
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Hahahaha! Good one (especially the third one)
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Ok, the Captain has spoken… I take it back (slightly), Zeke. Here’s the new version of my rant:
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To ZEKE LOVES HIS HOLYNESS THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER… you have spoken blasphemy against His Holy Noodliness. You are doomed to a temporary existence of flat beer and ugly strippers until you are touched by His Noodly Appendage; then you are welcome to join us in FSM heaven where the strippers are gorgeous and the beer is exactly how you want it — cold, warm or flat. RAmen to you!
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Is that better, Captain? :)
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@Captain: That is great! We are really a loving religion. And I like the fact, that you can go to hell, if heaven gets too boring or if you just want to have a bad day for a change! Or have some fun with teasing the Christians who were wrong at last!! hehehe!
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Lilith,
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I wouldn’t be too nice to tease them mercilessly, but there is probably a queue outside Ex-Pope John Paul IIs place!
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I expect we’re allowed to take a few coldies with us when we go on day trips and hand them out to the inmates. You know, just so they know what they’re missing.
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RAmen
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Beth,
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It certainly accords with what I believe. Remember you’re free to form your own view and our religion is never dogmatic. In fact I believe dogma is outright banned and we refuse to discuss introducing any dogma. Anyone who wants to introduce dogma may be ex-communicated!
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I just think these Christians have a really nasty God if he’s going to punish people for all enternity. That’s very harsh and not in the least bit forgiving.
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RAmen.
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Ex-Pope John Paul II: OK. OK. I was wrong about God. Wrong about Jesus, Mary, etc. Wrong about condoms and wrong about sex before, during and after marriage.
I’m really very sorry, can I go to heaven now. Please.
FSM: Sorry John you’ve got to stay here and apologise in person to everyone who died because of your policy on contraception then you can go to heaven.
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Dogma, Katra… sounds like a zoo to me. That’s cool.
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(For those non-Trekkies, the “katra” is the Vulcan soul that can be preserved by transferring it — usually at the moment of death — to another Vulcan… or, in one case, it was transferred to a human and then successfully returned to the original Vulcan body.)
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@Wench Beth Apr 25th, 2007 at 2:38 pm “Dogma, Katra… sounds like a zoo to me. That’s cool.”
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My car proudly shows a bumpersticker most of you already know: “My karma ran over your dogma”. By the way, why do you Muricans call them “bumper” stickers? I see them on many a part of a vehicle, but never on a bumper, probably because of the function of a car’s bumper ;)
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That’s a very good question, JB — bumper stickers are placed on bumpers, windows, any part of the car here in the U.S. I guess it’s just an old name that never got changed. Yes, I’ve seen the “karma/dogma” one here a lot :)
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“The British love stale beer” !
Bollocks, well-maybe the Londoners.
All hail the mighty Budvar Budweiser the Czech Emperor of Beers, hic….hic
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P.s. yank Bud is gnat’s piss, yarr
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Would somebody touch me please?
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Ex-Pope John-Paul (and all before and after): damn, please, FSM, let me at least go back to earth and tell them the truth! Otherwise I will be stuck here for eternaty, because the Xtian souls will never end to come down here!!
FSM: eh… no.
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@JB: everyone knows where the bumper is. ‘Everywhere behind a car-sticker’ doesn’t sound so good!
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@Look at Me I’m Sandra Dee Apr 25th, 2007 at 3:12 pm “Would somebody touch me please?”
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There! Happy? Hope I didn’t commit anything fatal…
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Thank you.
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Tagliatellius Apr 25th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
“The British love stale beer†!
Bollocks, well-maybe the Londoners.”
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hahahaha – Fullers London Pride isn’t too bad.
Not a patch on the real ales of The Midlands and Yorkshire though. Ahhh – many a day has been lost at beer festivals. We always buy a programme so we know what we’ve tasted. Bit like train spotting but with beer – the aim is to tick all of them off before passing out :)
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Where about in the UK are you?
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dude ur lame!!!!
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@ GOD – I was expecting more of a post from you! Are you not the same GOD that posted before on this site? Oh well…
I really missed out today…*insert sad Rowdy Wench* Maybe tomorrow will be better! *brightens and sits up straighter*
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@Rowdy Wench – I, Hierophant Aristotle I of the Southwestern Orthodox Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and His Noodly Appendages, hereby endow you with the title of sainthood for all of your suffering today.
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His High Mightiness,
Hierophant Aristotle I
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Does it seem as though I have an inflated ego? ‘Cause I really don’t. I just like behaving as though I’m full of myself because it’s fun to act like an idiot.
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Everyone should do it! Tomorrow could be Inflated Ego Day!! :0
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@ Aristotle – Wow! Thanks!! :)
Actually, I must admit I was going to say something about the ego…but glad to know it’s just all in fun! We do like acting like idiots around here…
Inflated ego day! Yay! I’ll work on acting like “Oh yeah, try it bastard! Woman” all day long instead of just part of it! It’ll be fun!
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Hmm…it’s nice to know I was convincing. Maybe I’ll act depressed for a while. Or I could act OCD OCD OCD OCD OCD OCD OCD. Alternately, I may decide to behave intellectually superior to all of you subordinate minds ;) What should I do? Any suggestions? Anyone? >:0===Q
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I don’t think could do that last one, for long. It’s hard to think repeatedly of new long words.
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The Three (or more) Faces of Aristotle
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Oh, oh! Aristotle knows what he should do! He should speak in the third person! Yes, Aristotle likes that idea.
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@ Aristotle – Left you here to play by yourself! Sorry…my husband got off the phone with his mom so I quit playing and have been visiting with him…
Good that you left the idea of acting intellectually superior to this group! Not that you are stupid, just that I can’t see that one going over very well…the third person idea has merit though! Run with that for a bit and see what happens!
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Hope you enjoy the stale beer and fat strippers in our hell.
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Hai fellow saint Rowdy! Always knew you’d make one too some day :)
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@ RDPK – Hello Saint Red! Thanks! I’m proud…I didn’t change my name though. I like my classic name (although I did have a longer one yesterday that I will pull out for special occasions!).
It’s after 1am here and I’m falling asleep, so I guess I’d better pull myself away from the computer and wrap it up for the day! Back tomorrow!
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Yeah, Aristotle agrees. He didn’t know how he was goin’ to do the “intellectual” thing. While he does consider himself smart, and anyone who knows him would probably agree (as far he is aware), he doesn’t think he’s smarter than everyone. Each person is smart in his or her own way. A seven-year-old child can be smart (I don’t mean book smart or academically advanced).
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Oops, Aristole reverted to the first person there^
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Happy Thurs Day!
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“Happy Thurs Day!”
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I had a very happy Thursday! Thanks for that Aristotle :)))
RAmen
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@ Aristotle
“…the third person idea has merit though! Run with that for a bit and see what happens!”
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I agree with Rowdy :) Still, don’t think you should get too OCD with it. ;))
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Hey! Inflated Ego Day! I like the idea. Of course, not all of us can fully appreciate such a day. Those of us whom are truly superior need not inflate our egos, after all.
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Hahahahahaha
Hi Saucy :) How are you going?
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Have to take myself off to bed now :(
Catch up with you on the roundabout sometime :))
Had a big day and night yesterday. Not sure whether I have to go into the uni in the morning or not. Have to wait until I get a call at 6am so will need to be organised just in case :( Look forward to catching you next time.
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y does everyone say that FSM’s making fun of the “Christian G-d”?
What about the “Jewish G-d”?
Is the Jewish G-d making fun of the Christian G-d?
And what does that make FSM doing?
I say the Christian G-d is making fun of both of them!
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The Jewish God always makes fun of the Christian God. he does a stand up routine with backing singers. The Christian God hasn’t made fun of anyone since he tried to ad-lib some jokes during the inquisition and they fell flat…. The muslim God sticks to slapstick, and Buddha writes comic poetry to annoy the other Gods….
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Sucks my fucking balls you idoits.
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@ Nav Spider – I love it! Very nice! :)
@ Retards – Hey, at least you fixed your misspelled name. Great post – in 6 words you had 2 significant misspellings. Way to go!
@ Saucy Wench – “Those of us whom are truly superior need not inflate our egos, after all.” Wahahahaha! Good job!
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I can only thank my english teachers. God bless those idoits.
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I can only thank my english teachers. God bless those idoits.But fuck you’ll.
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Excellent
I wasn’t sure if Retards was a pastafarian or a viable target – I have my answer :)
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He was on ages ago – shows how much impact his posts made on me. I don’t think I replied to any of them.
Still, not many numpties to abuse at the moment.
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How the hell do you reply to his posts though? There’s nothing to reply to!
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Come on you imbecile – say something that I can get my teeth into (and not “cock” – far too obvious!)
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@ Alchemist – Besides the piss-poor spelling and grammar, there isn’t much! Good luck…
@ Retards – “But fuck you’ll” I think you mean “fuck y’all” and no thanks, you aren’t my type.
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Hrm, Retards. You be needing to learn the pastafarian and pirate ways! Yar, that be all i am having to say.
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I never had the honor of meeting Retard here yet, seems a little retarded ;)
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@ Blake – I think there are some people who will never get it.
I’ve seen you post a few times…welcome and RAmen!
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