Satan sure has a hold on you.

Published by henderob April 11th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism).

Mr. Henderson,

All I can say is, Satan sure has a hold on you. Since you feel you need to be spreading nonsense around instead of truth. My prayer for you is that one day you will find the Lord Jesus…not the “Flying Spaghetti Monster” as the one you will look to for your daily strength. It’s too bad that you are taking this so lightly, The fact of the matter is, our founding fathers founded this nation on TRUE religious principles, not the nonsense you are making up. I’ll be praying for you, and your followers.

Sincerely,
Kim [xxxxxxxx]

246 Responses to “Satan sure has a hold on you.”

1. 161 - May 22nd, 2007 at 10:31 pm - Pastafarian Ballie Says:
   
   

   Hate to break it to you, but the “founding fatehrs” were what are called “Rationalists”. That means, they believed rationality and logic over blind religious faith. They attempted to work it into their works, but later religious fundamentalist fools like yourself twisted their words, and changed them to be religious, and then imposed your sanctimonious, holier-than-thou crap over the top. Congratulations; you are the detritus of the world.

2. 162 - May 22nd, 2007 at 11:00 pm - Aristotle, God of Satire Says:
   
   

   Er…I just noticed a flaw in Kim’s logic, a flaw which has been revealed be Pastafarian Ballie (thank you).
   .
   Kim said, “The fact of the matter is, our founding fathers founded this nation on TRUE religious principles, not the nonsense you are making up.”
   .
   I’d point out that it really doesn’t matter what the founding fathers founded the nation on. That’s in the past. This is the here and now. What ever the nation represented back then, it almost certainly doesn’t represent exactly the same thing now.
   .
   And, on the other hand, I myself don’t really give a damn what the founding fathers believed. I don’t have to believe the same thing. (And that is what the US represents - today, at least.) Sure, I’m thankful that they founded this country. But that’s as far as it has to go. It is possible to like (even love) someone who does not share your beliefs/ideas/likes/dislikes/etc. In fact, that is what love should be based upon: that the person you love is different from you. If you love someone exactly like you in every way, it would probably no different from loving yourself.
   .
   I got a little sidetracked, but that’s OK. I went from “our founding fathers” to “love individuality.” You should love my sidetracks because they make me who I am. Love me. Cherish me. “Bless” me.

3. 163 - May 22nd, 2007 at 11:11 pm - Aristotle, God of Satire Says:
   
   

   Woo hoo, everyone who just read my last post! You have gotten a glimpse of my Thoughtful Side! Does it not give you a mind-boggling sensation? Are you not awe-struck? You must be. I should know - I’ve seen it through the eyes of others (because I can read your minds, mwahahaha).
   .
   >:0===Q<

4. 164 - May 22nd, 2007 at 11:12 pm - Aristotle, God of Satire Says:
   
   

   “I can read your minds”
   .
   Just kidding, you know.

5. 165 - May 22nd, 2007 at 11:15 pm - Aristotle, God of Satire Says:
   
   

   Aristotle, God of Satire May 22nd, 2007 at 11:00 pm
   Not kidding, here. All seriousness (except maybe the last paragraph).

6. 166 - May 27th, 2007 at 11:58 am - Kentai Says:
   
   

   I’m Budhist, and love the idea of FSM, and understand some of you idiot’s hate, but what I don’t understand is your idea that the Founding Fathers made this country to be a Christian nation… have your read the First Ammendment… ever? Go home and have pretend to care about the bible.
   -Kentai

7. 167 - June 14th, 2007 at 11:43 am - Savannah Says:
   
   

   Wow… I guess this person never bothered to read ANYTHING but the Bible. Do they not know that the founding fathers HATED Christianity? They didn’t want religion to have anything to do with our nation! Wow… just , wow.

8. 168 - June 21st, 2007 at 9:18 pm - Reese Says:
   
   

   Kim, love, honey bunches of oats, HOW BOUT YOU GO BE A TUNNELVISIONED BITCH SOMEWHERE ELSE JUST BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE IN GOD DOESENT MEAN YOU HAVE TO SHOVE YOUR SHIT DOWN OUR THROATS JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO HAVE EVERYBODY GO TO HEAVEN AND BLA BLA BLA DOESENT MEAN YOU CAN WALK ALL OVER OTHER PEOPLE’S BELIEFES JOKING OR NOT AND THE ANCESTORS OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS GOT ON A SHIP AND GOT THEIR ASSES OVER HERE SO WE COULD WORSHIP WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT SO SHUT THE FUCK UP

9. 169 - June 24th, 2007 at 7:27 am - Using my brain Says:
   
   

   “our founding fathers founded this nation on TRUE religious principles,”

   For Starts, We’re not all American here, so don’t act like we are. Our “founding fathers” didn’t watch TV, does that mean we should get rid of TVs?

   Things change, humans adapt to the new and the better. Learn it.

10. 170 - June 24th, 2007 at 7:42 am - ۞ Says:
    
    

    I know we don’t normally approve of excessive use of capitals but I think we should make an exception for Reese.
    Ramen Reese. Ramen.

11. 171 - June 24th, 2007 at 1:21 pm - Steriotypical Evironmentalist... Says:
    
    

    To Kim [xxxxxxxx]
    I have only this to say. If you think it so unmoral to spread the word of the FSM because not everyone believes it to be true, what are your thoughts on missionaries?

12. 172 - June 26th, 2007 at 12:02 pm - Margaret Says:
    
    

    Actually, The United States of America was founded on a belief that religion had no place in govenment or politics. This country was not founded on, let alone, the Christian beliefs they had fled from. Please review your historical materials before stating incorrect things as facts.

13. 173 - June 26th, 2007 at 1:08 pm - Gaara the Pirate Says:
    
    

    this country was given the FREEDOM OF RELIGION meaning we have the right to choose a religion and nobody is allowed to force or subjegate anyone else into joining a religion.

14. 174 - June 27th, 2007 at 12:27 pm - Jo Ann Says:
    
    

    A-hem. This country was NOT founded on religious principles. Where have you been, miss Kim? Not only is there freedom of religion, as stated in the Constitution, but there was the Treaty of Tripoli…which, er, to be honest, I don’t know much about. Here’s a quote, dear:
    “The government of the United States is not, in any
    sense, founded on the Christian religion.” John Adams
    - Treaty of Tripoli, article 11
    John Adams wrote it, I believe.

15. 175 - June 27th, 2007 at 12:50 pm - Gaara the Pirate Says:
    
    

    nice one. also there are thousands of peopel out there you haven’t even heard of christianity such as some third-world countries. and many more who don’t believe in it. in fact when you add all of the religions (including us) it shows that there are more non-christians than christians. checkmate

16. 176 - June 27th, 2007 at 1:39 pm - Poopdeck Polly Says:
    
    

    Well I live in Canada so my founding fathers are a bunch of French furtraders who didnt really give a crap about what the Aboriginal people believed in so I guess Im ok. My prayer is that you get over yourself and stop trying to “save” us. We’re good, leave us alone!!!

17. 177 - June 27th, 2007 at 1:52 pm - Gaara the Pirate Says:
    
    

    RAmen to that! what these letters are doing to us pastafarians is that:
    a. we get pissed
    b. we think less of athiests and christians
    c. we decide to stay in this religion away from people who are like these letter senders.
    d. we become a more unified religion.

    what i don’t get though is why christians are upset. Rastafarians out there have a reason to be angry at us because they think we’re mocking them. but have we got a letter from them yet? no.

    Ramen

18. 178 - June 27th, 2007 at 2:14 pm - Rowdiest Wench Says:
    
    

    @ Gaara - But the Xtians are afraid of us! Real challenges are a threat, especially if you have doubts…which the Xtians obviously do. You forgot to add to the list that we have a really good time telling them off! :)) I’m not kidding about them being afraid of us BTW. They should be.

19. 179 - June 28th, 2007 at 8:59 am - Spagatelli Says:
    
    

    The founding fathers also founded the U.S. with the idea that slavery is the way to go and women should be kept down.

20. 180 - July 4th, 2007 at 12:09 pm - Chubaka, Wookie Disciple Says:
    
    

    They also founded this country on keeping Church and State seperate. Which is also in the Constitution. Which is also what the country is run on. Which is also what that school district is ripping up and perverting by teaching Intelligent Design in their schools.

    But I respect you. You took the time to learn the man-who-created-this-religion’ name. Unlikes every other person who sent in hate mail. And you’re praying for the followers and him. So you’re not making threats that are basically soul black mail, AKA “BELIEVE IN JESUS OR YOUR SOUL WILL BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY!” etc. etc. So, thanks for the hate mail, and for not being threatening, and for learning Mr. Henderson’s name.

    You’re still stupid for taking it seriously, though.

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