Satan sure has a hold on you.

Published by henderob April 11th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism).

Mr. Henderson,

All I can say is, Satan sure has a hold on you. Since you feel you need to be spreading nonsense around instead of truth. My prayer for you is that one day you will find the Lord Jesus…not the “Flying Spaghetti Monster” as the one you will look to for your daily strength. It’s too bad that you are taking this so lightly, The fact of the matter is, our founding fathers founded this nation on TRUE religious principles, not the nonsense you are making up. I’ll be praying for you, and your followers.

Sincerely,
Kim [xxxxxxxx]

246 Responses to “Satan sure has a hold on you.”

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221 - August 9th, 2007 at 1:25 pm - falafeln Says:

haha it’s nice you have find the “truth”, but let us intelligent people find ours…
222 - August 16th, 2007 at 10:22 am - satanownsyoursoul Says:

Hate to brake it to you buddy, but, your religeon isnt the only “right” or “true” one out there.

Save your religious principles to yourself, and stop being a Bible thumping asshole.
223 - August 16th, 2007 at 4:41 pm - PIRATES-IN-PORN Says:

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

YOU’RE A BIBLE THUMPING ASSHOLE!!!
AHAHAHAHAHAH!

BURN IN HELL YOU BITCH!
I FUCKING HATE YOU JESUS-FREAK,
I LUVV THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!!!!!

HE’S AND SO CUTE AND CUDDLY!
HE ACTUALLY HAS BALLLLS!

Peace && Love
-Caroline♥
224 - August 16th, 2007 at 5:00 pm - DutchPastaGuy Says:

Caroline, welcome to the church of the FSM, but your post is hardly distinguishable to what the christian fundies usually produce. We’re happy to have you among us, would be happier still with language slightly less reminiscent of christian shouters.
225 - August 16th, 2007 at 5:34 pm - Cho Says:

Founding fathers? Note the angry homosexuals that are atheists.
226 - August 17th, 2007 at 9:32 am - Julian Says:

I’m pleased to say it is not Satan who has a hold on me… It is the FSM. And we’ll be praying for you…
227 - August 17th, 2007 at 10:08 am - PastaLitox Says:

Arrr! Kim, you need to learn that Christianity is just some way of the system to control you! I’ll be praying for you though. Ramen, and fuck the system!
228 - August 21st, 2007 at 12:08 pm - PastaPirate Says:

“The fact of the matter is, our founding fathers founded this nation on TRUE religious principles,”

The Treaty of Tripolo disagrees with you.
229 - November 9th, 2007 at 3:58 am - MetallipandA Says:

Satan Is my friend, cool guy but a terrible drinker, can´t stand tequila,
230 - November 30th, 2007 at 12:01 am - mentos Says:

What nation? this is the internet sweetheart, america isn’t the only continent on the planet.
231 - November 30th, 2007 at 1:53 am - neal Says:

Hey Kim. perhaps you being all close to God and knowing his mind, and needless to say, the mysteries of the universe can explain a few things to us?

–Why dose Satan do what he does? And don’ say he’s evil. Why’s he evil, what does he get out of being evil? Why did he rebel agains god when he was in gods presence, saw god and knew god’s full capabilities?

–Also why doesn’t god just clear up the mystery of whether or not he exists and what laws he wants us to observe. Couldn’t he just buy airtime. And don’t tell me, he wants us to have faith. Why does your god want us to believe in his existence with no evidence of his existence? Why does he want us to believe with no proof? What’s the logical reason for that? If he doen’t want to give us direct evidence of his existence why not at least provide a cogent and convincing reason for its absence?
Everything I’ve ever read in scriptures says somthing to the effect that believing without proof is just “better” Why’s it better, Kim? Did believing the assertiions of people like Hitler and Stalin without convincing evidence prove a wise choice for the German or Russian peoples? When has taking it on faith proven a wise choice for the American people, In Iraq? Given the track record of following and believing like a sheep how could anyone seriously propose that the wisest and most benevolent (accoriding to You) being in the universe would make it a prerequisite for salvation?
232 - December 7th, 2007 at 1:08 am - doctor weerdo Says:

Why do christens always claim that America was created by the founding fathers to be a Christian nation? If you honestly think that, look at some of their arguments and writings that they made at the time. Many of our founding fathers despised religion (for example Jefferson).
233 - December 8th, 2007 at 6:45 pm - Hooch Says:

doctor weerdo, that is an excellent point. Wasnt one of the reasons the ‘pilgrims’ originally came to the ‘new world’ to escape the religious persecution? Its sad that now Christian America feels that they have the right to persecute others, when the original founders of America were here to escape that same problem.
234 - December 28th, 2007 at 6:31 am - pheer6224 Says:

Didn’t the pilgrims come here for religious freedom?
235 - December 28th, 2007 at 11:29 am - Martha Says:

No, the Pilgrims did NOT come here for religious freedom! They came in order to practice THEIR religion, but they did not plan to offer such freedom to other religions. A common misconception.
236 - December 28th, 2007 at 4:42 pm - Theo Says:

Caroline♥;

Stop doing that.

OT: Satan doesn’t have a hold on us, because we don’t believe he exists.
237 - December 28th, 2007 at 7:08 pm - neal Says:

When Xtains claim America was founded as a Christian nation, they are full of it. While true, the original pilgrims founded a religious based colony in Massachusetts, and another in Virginia, what is overlooked is the founding occurred fully 170 years prior to the Declaration of Independence.

In that interval, the Americas developed a secular, humanistic class of people who became the Founding Fathers. Both Jerrerson and Madison were for the strictest separation of church and state. The phrase “wall of separation” which fundamentalists decry and claim is a spurious interpretation of the First Amendment was coined by Jefferson, the selfsame author of that amendment. (Anyone who argues in one breath for a strict constructionist-originalist interpretation of the constitution iand in their second breath proclaims that the first amendment does not mandate a “wall of separation” is profoundly ignorant of the legislative history of the constitution and the intent of its authors).

Then there is Madison, the other author of the Amendment. When the US congress decided to have chaplains in the pay of the government, take a guess what he wrote about it. It is easily enough found if you google it-I wont post the link.

In short, the founding fathers were not the advocates of a Christian city on a hill, that these ignorant fundamentalist proclaim they were. Those advocates, the Cotton Mathers and the like had died out a century before.

As a matter of fact, Xtains fundamentalists are abysmally ignorant of history. How often have they proclaimed that God punished the Roman Empire for the crucifixion of Jesus and of course their pagan sinfulness by allow Rome to fall.
What they omitt is that Rome fell in 433AD and Christ was crucified on or around 33AD. Thus God was punishing a generation of Romans who were as far removed from the guilt of Christ’s crucufixion as we were removed from the Indian massacres of Cotton and Increase Mather. Moreover, Rome adopted Christainity a century earlier, under the emperor Constantine who made it the sole, official religion of the empire. Finally, the Roman empire lasted for another 1000 years in the East with Constantinople (contemporarary Instanbul) as its capital.

It’s a pity more people don’t challenge their facts when they spew this stuff on national tv.
238 - December 28th, 2007 at 8:38 pm - Apprentice Frederic Says:

@Martha
I checked, and you’re exactly right! The Pilgrims were an especially nasty variety of Puritan; Christmas was actually banned both in Puritan England and some parts of the Colonies for a while. I think it eventually fell out that Oliver Cromwell was so unpopular that they dug him up a century after he was executed and hung him some more. I just love them lofty religious principles…..
239 - December 28th, 2007 at 8:46 pm - Apprentice Frederic Says:

@Martha, all: I was wrong. He died naturally and was executed later, LOFOMAO.
240 - December 28th, 2007 at 11:07 pm - JC Says:

@235 Martha
Dec 28th, 2007 at 11:29 am
No, the Pilgrims did NOT come here for religious freedom! They came in order to practice THEIR religion, but they did not plan to offer such freedom to other religions. A common misconception.

It is nieve to think that every pilgrim was of the same religion, or that they all had a religion.

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Purchase the Gospel

An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American