Do you guys like this boat?
(you can’t really tell, but I crossed out the name of the boat, and wrote “church of the fsm”)
(note – in picture 2, there used to be a lady standing on the deck, but I photoshopped her out. You can still sort of see her legs if you look closely)
It’s not a pirate boat. But here’s the thing: it’s also not $2 million. This one’s a Tayana 37. The one pictured isn’t for sale, but they run about $100k, which we could probably handle *right now*.
The official FSM church missionary pirate boat IS going to happen, it’s just a matter of to what degree you want. I want to get everyone’s opinion on this. Wait until we can afford a “real” pirate ship, or get something smaller and start now? The Church makes nowhere near the amount of cash to get a millions-of-dollars boat anytime soon, if ever. The funds now are all coming from the t-shirts, car emblems, and book sales, and they’ve about leveled off. However, we do have a licensing arrangement, and there are some tv interests. That could mean some more cash for the pirate-boat-fund.
And there’s the option of fund-raising, but I’m guessing that people would be apprehensive paying into a fund like this (I would be). And are there that many seriously interested people who would pay $1k or more for a share of a pirate boat? I sort of wonder.
Maybe we could purchase a working boat, like a Baltic Trader (it’s sort of piratey), one of those ships that moves cargo from island to island in the tropics.
(baltic trader)
A trading ship would make enough money to keep it going (boats are crazy-expensive to upkeep). By the way, a Baltic Traders can easily go for a million dollars or more.
As for the actual missionary work we’ll be doing, I think it will take place somewhere tropical. Other than that, maybe we’ll just cruise around and wait for inspiration, like Jesus did.
And, as I’m sure there will be no shortage of volunteers, if we get a smaller boat we’ll have to figure out how to arrange the crewing,etc. And also I heard that it’s somewhat complicated to sail and maneuver around islands and other boats and things, so we’ll have to figure out a way to keep from sinking. Like a rule that at least a couple people onboard at anytime know what they’re doing.
Please discuss, I want to hear everyone’s opinions on this.
I believe that if you want to truly honor the FSM then the only proper option is to build your own vessel. It would be cheaper than an authentic one, and can be built to whatever specifications would be required. Don’t just buy one that will “suffice”, pay Him a true homage and build one in his name.
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theres a group of people that have built and sail a replica of the Nina, of columbus history. i think last time they sailed into town for the week they said it was built in south america, and they are working on another for the fleet. in the winter months, it sails in the caribbean.
building a boat, especially one like this is super expensive, and possibly untrustworthy. but the prospect of getting out there excites me, and I’d like to offer up my services as a full time bosun. Already have the whistle!
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I like the look of the trading one, much more piratey, but as I get seasick in the bath I have volunteered to man (wench) the harbour bar.
I work for the NHS *insert hollow laugh here* so don’t have any spare money to put towards the fund :( Sorry :(
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LONG AND TEDIOUS POST WARNING enjoy ;p
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Personally, I’d say go with the trader first. It’s all very well to say build your own, but it will cost money… more money than you have.
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Trying to save for something like this will be nigh on impossible if your sole income source for this is FSM paraphenalia.
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Likewise, getting a bank loan for a vessel that has no particular purpose (as far as a bank would be concerned, my own views differ somewhat) would be either
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a) immensely difficult,
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b) prohibtively expensive
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c) both
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By comparison, buying a trader is a business investment. Business investment is easily explained, has a lower danger of failing to recoup investment than charity, and will also provide funds enough to survive on for the forseeable future.
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Consider;
Trading between islands, (self explanatory really)
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Working cruises, where for a small fee, a potential sailor works on the ship for a month etc (this system is commonly used on replica ships here in Oz)
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Leisure cruises, where for a large fee, the person enjoys heaven on earth (who wouldn’t want to sail with a bunch of roguish pirates and crafty wenches though beautiful tropical waters, discussing the finer points of philosphy, theology, beer and the art of making a really good marinara?).
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Theatre; special guest appearences of the pirates, staging an annual raid on, say, Miami, would make a great tourist attraction for the city, leading to possible government investment, or at the very least, greater public awareness.
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After that, it gets a bit fiddly, but think also of novelty weddings, collaboration with atheist/secular societies for events, etc.
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With sufficient self promotion, and a little bit of noodley loving, you would earn enough to buy a fleet within a few years, and have a corporate empire within a decade.
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well, I’d go with the smaller version first, and if it is successful we can just buy a bigger one later on
but for now, the small one will do imo
btw if you need a unexperienced german born sailor that has no clue what the hell he is doing i’ll volunteer hehe
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Why not just steal the ship? That would make it a pirate ship by default.
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Other churches have built their empires through tithing… maybe all of these bilge rats who claim to be Pastafarians can start ponying up the dough to get this church out to sea!
Of course we need to get the church tax shelter in place first… how’s that going?
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I’d love to sail on that trader boat. Scooter has a point, first get official status as a church, so every donated penny is going to the boat and not to the state.
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I’m no use as a sailor though, i don’t get seasick but I am afraid of heights (so no climbing for me) So I’ll just wench the bar with Booty.
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I like both boats, but I think the trader may be a better first option. We should find out how many people those things can hold.
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Also, I volunteer to help sail whatever boat we end up with. I sort of know what I’m doing…
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Wow Jingles!! I thought you were doing something strange at uni I can’t even begin to understand, not business studies! ;)
Good ideas though – As long as you buy a quayside pub for me and RDPK to run for after pillaging refreshments.
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This is a great start, we should get it for now!
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I kinda know what I’m doing. I’m definitely not being the cabin-boy or whatever you call it.
I’ll man the whell, I always was a good helmsman!
The only experience I have is with sunfish and a 22 footer, these are probably a lot different, oh well.
RAmen
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I like the tradeship… it looks very piratey. The only boats I am really familiar with have motors… I’ve not really sailed before. But I have some weird extended family out in Toronto that run a sailing business. Not totally sure how it works, but they make the ship (or possibly just fix it up, not sure) and then sail it to it’s destination. Last summer my Dad went out there, and they took a boat from Ontario down to North Carolina, where they buyer was… and he learnt how to sail and everything. So, if we are short on crew members, I could always go and learn from Nan. (I think that’s her name… never met her myself.)
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Aaaarrrr, ye swarthy landlubbers!
Sorry, just had to let that out. When I first saw the boat proposal last year, I thought you were off your trolley (to use an NHS term). But then most of us thought the same thing when we saw your open letter..and that kind of worked.
If this isn’t going to be seen simply as “Bobby’s crafty plan to get his own yacht”, you’ll need to keep the focus on FSM-ism. Or against ID. Whatever.
So how about using the boat for “educational” cruises? Sail into port, raid the local taverns for grog, pick up a few wenches and make the locals walk the plank while you take their booty? That’ll teach them the virtues of keeping a lookout. And, erm, make them think about pirates and that.
And it’s self-financing.
May His Noodliness go with you always.
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Oh and btw:
My vote’s for the baltic trader, hell of a nice ship.
RAmen
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The baltic trader is the better option, mainly for hold space and accomodation. plus the ability to hold better parties (sermons) however there are some considerations you need to remember:
it needs more crew with experience
takes a LOT of looking after
berths can be expensive and larger berths = more expensive
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If we’re looking for crew can i submit a CV? I really can navigate!
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I think that jingles had a very good point there, that model could be used to provide the funds for the ship and its crew (lets face it the crew no matter how piratey needs to eat) Plus what about insurance? if a crew member who doesnt know what theyre doing crews up the boat or it sinks or whatever serious $$$ might be needed to fix it. Plus insurance helps alot if your going to be trading or anything like that, it gives you sort of a businessy apperance not a we’re-just-random-guys-doing-this-for-fun look. If youre going to be trading in tropical islands lool out for real modern day pirates too, we should carry a supply of arms with at least one person qualified to teach how to properly aim them, shoot the, safety etc, i would qualify for that and navigation :)
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Excuse ME Mr Farty – but I am my *own* Booty, thank you very much!
Leave me out of it! ;)
Besides, I am going to be busy drinking, I mean, running the bar. :D
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@ Nav Spider
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“If we’re looking for crew can i submit a CV? I really can navigate!”
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Glad you can. I couldn’t find my arse with both hands! :) Still have to go “Never Eat Shreaded Wheat” to remember the compass!
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To Booty… LOL, ROTF!!!!!!!!!
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WARNING: MEDIUM-LONG POST
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Regarding the pirate ship, I can’t really give any intelligent advice about what to do — sorry, I don’t know anything about boats! But so far I like Scooter’s idea about the FSM becoming an official church, because that has all kinds of tax/financial benefits.
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I don’t think that most people on this site have $1000 (or even close to that) to spare for a donation to the ship. Not that they wouldn’t gladly do it if they could! So large donations probably wouldn’t work. Small ones would, I believe, but the money wouldn’t accumulate fast enough.
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What I *do* know for sure is that many of us Pastafarians (or should that be *we* Pastafarians?) would be willing to donate time to do marketing, public appearances, etc. If that helps in any way, I’m sure you’ve got ample manpower (and wench-power) there.
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Buying a smaller pirate ship to start might be an idea because we could get attention with that and do real missionary excursions, media spots, etc. Perhaps those events might lead to more, which means more money, which means a bigger boat… you get the idea.
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Personally, I will volunteer to do whatever. I’ve already been unofficially dubbed “the ship’s cook” but would rather do that PLUS some more hands-on work in sailing the ship. I have a couple contacts here and there in various ports. I really, really, REALLY like the idea of getting a pirate ship and will help in any way I can.
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RAmen to everyone and Happy St. Pat’s Day (which is actually an FSM holiday)!!
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Does any of ye even know ta sail?
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To Booty… almost forgot, there are some good medications which help with seasickness. I have personal experience with them; I once had a wonderfully embarrassing incident of throwing up over the side of a whale-watching tour boat (go ahead, laugh, everyone!). Once I found about various over-the-counter (and prescription) meds that help, I never had another problem on a boat again. Miraculously (and praise the FSM for this) my seasickness disappeared eventually and now I’m fine with no meds!
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I guess basically what I’m saying is I WANT YOU TO BE ON THE BOAT!! Not waiting onshore! :) The more wenches, the better :)))
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To Buccaneer Jerda… yes, there are a handful of people here who really do sail, so this is a serious discussion. I personally don’t but really would like to learn!
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I was being serious.. I would gladly give up my life and go sail for the rest of it.
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Sorry, I knew you were serious, Buccaneer… I was just trying to say that we weren’t kidding around when speaking of sailing (you know how much joking goes on on this site :) and this was actually for real. If you would really be a full-time sailor then I salute you, fellow pirate! RAmen!
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Why don’t we have a chat room or an IRC or vent server or something like that?
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One question… have any of you ever seen the movie or read the book “Survive the Savage Sea?” I love boating, and I love the ocean, but I have a deep fear of sharks. Really, really bad phobia. When I was in North Carolina, my boyfriend took me to the Ripley’s Aquarium at Myrtle Beach. There’s this one part where you walk through this sort of glass, underwater tunnel… and when I saw a shark swimming above me I panicked, ran through the tunnel crying like an idiot, and Jirka finally found me like an hour later outside on a bench crying. Then I saw Survive the Savage Sea, a true story… and I have to admit… sailboats scare me just a wee bit. So, can we have some really sturdy life rafts, with enough food on them for at least a month? Please? OR can someone just hold me… ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
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Ive been snorkeling in the Caribbean with sharks and there not that scary… Why are you so afraid?
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@Buccaneer
Honestly, because I am a wimp. Seriously. I have no reason. I have the same fear of spiders, but I have a reason for that, and spiders are something I encounter in my everyday life. I live nowhere near any kind of ocean, yet somehow, this fear has just been a part of life. I read a book about shark attacks when I was in Grade 4. Literally, since that time, the thought of them has terrified me. I know it’s silly… but that’s why it’s a phobia. It is an unreasoning, unreasonable fear. *shrug… it’s not like a fear of spiders where you can get therapy and learn to let them crawl on you without going mental. I can’t really go pet a shark until I get over my fear. Maybe Booty and I can drink on land together…
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Don’t worry, Batman, by the time this whole thing gets off the ground you’ll be swimming with the sharks as your best buddies! They’re really amazing creatures. But of course we will have life rafts and etc. too :)
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@Wench Beth
You’re scaring me. =) Best buddies… eesh… do you have any big hairy spiders I could snuggle up to at night as well? Bleagh…
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I won’t swim with them. Ever. But as long the alcohol flows freely I will probably be able to function around them. That’s the best I can do.
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Will Captain Bobby Henderson be leading us?
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Batman, lots of us have a fear of something and can’t really explain why.. I’m really scared of heights (or dephts) myself. Not too fond of spiders either :)
But you’d be welcome manning the bar with Booty and me ;) Now that would make a great bar with three great wenches running it!
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@Batman RE: Shark Infestation
That’s what the harpoon gun is for. Or cannons, if you just want to see the shark turn into chunky red seawater.
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Count me out for serving drinks. I’ve already decided to support the other side of the bar ;)
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Cop out and hire one.
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@RDPK
We’d have to find some really good wench outfits, so we can match with Booty. I bet the tips would be through the roof!! Wheee!! (There’s no rules against us sampling the liquor, though, right?)
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Arthur, go with the canons. I don’t want to catch them… that would just bring it in closer to boat. Just blow them out of the water.
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I think maybe it is the eyes that scare me. Like little black buttons, you can never tell what they’re really looking at. It might SEEM like they don’t see you, but they might very well be eyeing you up as a tasty snack. Scary… same with spiders. EIGHT EYES???? Why do they need so many eyes?? It’s so they can keep an eye on us… and the eight legs are so they can run really fast and hide in our shoes when we’re not looking.
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I’m creeping myself out here.
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Hey Nikkiee – we’ll be doing an awful lot of product testing – after all, can’t be serving substandard beer to our pirates can we?
Batman – you are more than welcome – I don’t like yukky sea creatures either! – Especially jelly fish! *a screaming Booty runs for the hills*
We are going to have the best bar EVAR – believe me, the pirates will soon be having too much fun with us to be messng about in boats!
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@Booty
I am seriously wanting to go out somewhere dressed like a pirate right now. Wish I had some pirate-minded friends here to go bar hopping with. Oh well.
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@ everyone – some really good discussion here. Jingles has some great ideas about the business side of it. And I agree that FSM should be officially recognized as a church (no joke here). I too don’t have the $1,000 to donate – I wish I did but am still trying to get my business running in the black.
I have never sailed, but it sounds like fun! I can cook, and make some yummy drinks and cocktails, although if all the wenches decide to bartend we may not have a crew! Of course for many of us drinking is already a skill we have (no offense to those Pastafarians that I know choose not to drink). I’m up for a really good wench outfit! :)
@ Batman – I’ve always had a fascination with sharks – I’m strange! At one point I wanted to be a marine biologist so I could study them. I do have a weird thing about spiders though. I can’t stand them. And living in Oklahoma we get more than our fair share (I get bitten about once a year – one was a good one that left a BIG red area on my thigh that was spongy – not fun!)
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Hi Rowdy!
Sherlock says you should move to Florida and work for Seaworld! (He loves Sharks too and would happily go swimming with them – weird fella! ;) )
You get BITTEN once a year?????
Bloody hell! I have never been bitten and they are all the size of teeny weeny things that are very small, but I still hyperventilate whenever they are around! – Sherlock is great and tells me to look the other way while he gets rid of them for me!
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@ Batman – Yes, get a wench outfit too! They re loads of fun – and I think we should dress up for the bar – it is an absolute bugger being so far away from everyone :(
But I am sure the FSM will look after us and get us all together when he is ready (If he isn’t too pissed) ;)
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I don’t believe your so called church has made any money at all. Yacht?! Maybe you could afford a dingy.
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@ Booty – Hi! I am getting tired of posts that won’t go! I typed up a good one and it didn’t post… :( Sorry, I don’t have time to do it again right now. I need to be off and get some things done around the house.
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@Skeptic
Are you just a little ray of sunshine?? Are you feeling kind of down as well? Or are you just being mean for fun?
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Rowdy Wench Mar 17th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
“Jingles has some great ideas about the business side of it.”
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In complete agreement with you there Rowdy.
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Go Jingles! :)
RAmen
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@Batman Mar 17th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
“it’s not like a fear of spiders where you can get therapy and learn to let them crawl on you without going mental.”
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Oh poor Spider :( I’m sure he is nowhere near as bad as you make out Batman ;)
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@Wench Nikkiee
*snicker… probably not. Mayhaps it’s time for some “therapy”… Are you in, Spider? (kidding, please don’t get mad)
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I got bitten by a really big spider I got out a bath once. It didn’t draw blood or anything, I think it only did it to keep a grip on my hand as it was loosing it’s grip.
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I was going to by one of these, http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/toys-games/remote-control/rc-pirate-ship/index.html#top
but then I went and donated the money to the James Randi Educational Foundation.
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Ahhh well.
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Oh Beastly – you good little boy you!
I must admit to being a bit disappointed you haven’t got the pirateship though :( ;)
I am not going anywhere near Cornwall then – spiders that leap on you when you are getting out the bath – WAH!!!!!!!
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I can already tell I am going to have nightmares about spiders tonight. Thanks guys. =P
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Does it have a plank?
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ooops “I: Sorry, you are banned from using this forum!”
meh :)
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@skeptic Mar 17th, 2007 at 2:44 pm “I don’t believe your so called church has made any money at all. Yacht?! Maybe you could afford a dingy.”
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Dingy, dingy… watch it, dude, I’m “godfather” of part of a Greenpeace Zodiac. Still have the little blue flag that accounts for that.
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By the way (I said this on the main page earlier): why not ask advice from Greenpeace people? They own four ships (more or less: the “MS Greenpeace” doesn’t exist anymore under that name), and if any movement has experience with promoting their ideas through sailing (OK, actually only the “Rainbow Warrior II” has sails), it’s them! I visited the “MS Greenpeace”, the “Rainbow Warrior II” and the “Esperanza” (when still at the wharf in Holland, nearly finished): great feeling! Those people know about sailing and promoting an idea with it!!
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RAmen to you (almost sailing for real) Wenches and Pirates!
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Well – “Men should let God take care of His own Book, His living oracles, as He has done for ages. They begin to question some parts of revelation, and pick flaws in the apparent inconsistencies of this statement and that statement. ”
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do we?
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@Alchemist
Where have you been banned from this time?
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@ Jean Bart – Brilliant! Between all of us this thing might just get sorted! :)
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@Batman Mar 17th, 2007 at 5:44 pm “@Alchemist Where have you been banned from this time?”
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Don’t worry: when Alchemist is feeling the need to “unload”, he would manage to get banned from his own forum. Hahahahahaha… oops, sorry Alchemist, couldn’t resist it. Any xtreme forums that still are admitting you (apart from the Mills’ circus, of course, they’re a separate specimen)?
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@Rowdy Wench Mar 17th, 2007 at 5:52 pm “@ Jean Bart – Brilliant! Between all of us this thing might just get sorted! :)”
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I’m more a “mountain & woods” person than a “sea” type, but aboard the Greenpeace ships I thoroughly envied the crew, mainly because of the mentality. They’re a nice bunch altogether, seemingly all dedicated to the cause, whatever their rank is. There are more points in common between Greenpeace sailors and FSM Pirates than you’d think…
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@ Jean Bart – I’ve never known much about the Greenpeace group. We don’t hear as much about them in the US as I did when I lived in England – and that was 20 years ago. Sounds like a good group though! And I too love mountains and woods – there is much majesty in them.
@ Booty – finally got over losing the post earlier. On the note of spider bites I told my husband that I said I get them once a year and he said “Oh yeah, easy, maybe 2 or 3 times a year.” And now I’ll drop that so Batman can sleep tonight!
The rest of my comment was that I think it would be fun to train dolphins! I train teenagers and horses, so dolphins may not be that big of a stretch! :)
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One last remark concerning the ship thing: how exactly is this ship going to be used to propagate FSM? Not by blocking Japanese whalers, I hope… Trying to find trace of Noachs’s Arch might be a purpose: if found without traces of dinosaurs, we’ll be lucky! No, seriously, I’d like to see a “masterplan” of this PR happening, and I’d like to know if, by international maritime navigation rules, the jollyfish will be allowed as a flag…
RAmen!
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I can provide the muscle. Whether it’s moving goods on and off the boat or protecting Prophet Henderson from savages, I’d serve you proudly.
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@ King Leonidas – Welcome, RAmen and thanks for the offer! Glad to have you on board.
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@King Leonidas
mmmmmm… muscles…
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Er, sorry. WELCOME!!!!
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@ Batman – hahahaha! I know what you mean! :)
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woot!
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@Rowdy
Yeah, I’m a deprived wench. Even starting to think that Justin Timberlake is good-looking, which clearly indicates trouble. =( Bring on the muscles. And any other good qualities which I over-lloking due to my slightly inebriated state.
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Judge not, that ye be not judged. I say, if that’s what you want then go for it. I’m not gonna judge. It is a lovely ship.
The only thing that really matters is serving Him in whatever way you can.
rAmen
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@ Batman – “Even starting to think that Justin Timberlake is good-looking, which clearly indicates trouble.” Oh my! I hope you recover from that affliction soon!
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To Ares… that was quite rude to all the PIRATES on this site. I suggest you apologize.
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To Batman and Booty… I’ll be the official spider remover onboard. I love spiders and I always rescue them, so all you’ll have to do is scream “SPIDER ALERT!” and I will remove the offender and transport him elsewhere.
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If it helps at all, think of the spiders’ eight legs as eight noodly appendages, and their eight eyes as extra spy power for bad pirates or fundies in boats :)
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@Ares Mar 17th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
“Want a real man batgirl? U won’t find him here thats for sure.”
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Hungdaddy? Is that you?
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@ Wench Nikkiee – By FSM I think you may be onto something! But I thought hungdaddy only knew about one thread on this site…
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@All real Pirates and Wenches
Only one post right now. Good but blurry times tonight… stupid free beers. I rocked naem that tune, which means free beer arnd shots. So… very good St Paddy’s day. Even (tried) to talk with an Irish accent… probably cocked it up though. Glad to see you are all having fun… who is stupid Ares? Lil’ rotten meanie. No longer think JT is handsome… he has funny shaped head. And his facial hair is all whiskery and sparce. Not hot. Nikkiee, if you are getting rid of spiders, then you are both my hero and my friend. Will you transport them really far away? Like, put them on little paper airplanes and shoot them out over the water? This is starting to sound like a good voyage… we have muscles, and a navigator, and three sexy bartenders, and a shark blower-upper, and now a spider transporter. Sign me up.
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Iron gill Kidd, sorry I called you a boy. I think lots of people think I am a boy at first too, but that is because I chose a boy name for reasons I can’t remember right now. I’m sure you are a wonderful girl…
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@Ares
You are stupid. I’m a bit stupid right now too, but there are two differences between us.
1. I know I’m being stupid… you seem to be under the misapprehension that you are clever.
2. I am drunk, and when I recover I will be clever again. You, however, will always be dumb. Unless you seek help and start reading some books, and maybe work on learning some multi-syllable words and some more creative insults.
My point is, piss off. The pirates on this site are all hot, and the wenches are all lovely. I’m sure you’re quite ugly, and dumb, and you’re trying to compensate with your pitiful attempts to bring others down. Surely you could go find a site for stupid people, and not only will you fit right in, but you might find a more appreciative audience.
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@Pirates and Wenches
I am completely assed right now. If this post offends anyone, please know that I will be very sorry in the morning.
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@Ares
Except you. If you are offended, then your reading comprehesion skills are better than I am giving you credit for.
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Batman out. =)
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@Batman
“I know I’m being stupid… you seem to be under the misapprehension that you are clever.”
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Don’t you just love that Batman :)
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Ha! You have no chance Ares! Batman would blow you out the water in less than a nanosecond.
I agree, Batman, there are loads of wonderful pirates on board – but I am sure you will find your own landlubber and convert them to the embrace of his wonderful Noodliness ;)
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Oooh Batman…looks like Ares has seriously got the hots for you. Luck girl ;)
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meant “lucky girl” Batman :)
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@Ares
Watch it!! Some of the pirates here have special thing for some of the wenches. When Alchemist thought I was moving in on Nikkiee, he got out his big, lethal frying pan. And I definately have a soft spot for wench Batman. Say the wrong things and you’ll soon find yourself on an ‘evolutionary dead end’.
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Ohhhhh this site is bursting with love. :P
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Anyway Ares, didn’t your mummy ever tell you it was rude to ask a strange girl for a kiss?
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@Batman, ooooooh! Two admirers in one day… you’re hot sauce baby.
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Oh, and @Booty, yes I’m doing something strange at uni. This is just the application of a little high school economics. As for the pub, well of course.
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The ship will need to be drydocked occasionally for maintenance and when we do, the hard working crew will need a place to kick back and relax. Plus, we’ll need a large warehouse (or 5) to store all our plunder.
.
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Finally, if we’re all putting our hands up for jobs, I guess i can put my hand up for ship’s Drunken and Debauched Student (I’m sure it’s a legitimate post). Otherwise, stick me in the crow’s nest.
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$100K, woah, good job there Bobby, I like the look of both boats but I would rather like you to come over the Atlantic and give us a preaching. I’ve been looking at boats recently, smaller ones than your’s mind, and there are some reasonable looking river/shore boats for less than £5000. Parading one of those down a busy river with lots of posters down the sides will probably get you some extra interest.
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@ Jingles – are you calling Batman a strange girl? Not a good plan if you ask me!!
High School economics? I went to an all girls school – we just did home economics – and I still can’t cook!
Still, serves me right for spending the lessons trying to explode an egg in the microwave without getting caught I suppose ;)
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@DutchPastaGuy Mar 18th, 2007 at 3:40 am “And I definately have a soft spot for wench Batman. Say the wrong things and you’ll soon find yourself on an ‘evolutionary dead end’.”
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And while you’re too busy explaining evolution to fundies, I’ll take over this duty from you… Mmmm; I’ll have to stay a little closer to the main page though if I want to get that right… preferably when there is no fuss about a certain “wabbit”…
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@Jean Bart
“…..when Alchemist is feeling the need to “unloadâ€, he would manage to get banned from his own forum. Hahahahahaha… oops, sorry Alchemist, couldn’t resist it.”
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Don’t fret about it my Flanders friend :) My skin is thicker than an elephant’s with elephantiasis.
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Had a spot of computer trouble last night – thought I’d been hit with something – turned out it was just my shitty ISP! Word to the wise – DO NOT BE TEMPTED BY TISCALI they are “The Beast” “The Evil One”. Their tech support have been especially trained in the art of frustration
“what are you using to connect to the internet?”
“a small ferret. Why. Is that wrong?”
“are you using a modem or a router?”
“I told you. A ferret. He’s ever so warm. I stick him down my trousers at night, he’s very friendly – he likes you!”
“are you using the modem we provided”
“shit, he just bit my nadgers!”
“thank you for calling Tiscali……..”
Thankfully I have my migration code :)
There are some good folks on ItpOG – (mostly trolls I think) and some *very* tempting targets too!
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People, if soon you’ll notice Ares speaking with a speach impediment, that will be caused by loosing large part of his tongue, due to unappropiate use of it (see Ares Mar 18th, 2007 at 6:15 am)
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Fucking hell Ares – you’re turning ME on now :)
Shit, time for a brisk run and a cold shower!
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I’ll give you this though – you do have taste! Batman’s a doll! If it wasn’t for Wench Nikkiee and her frying pan of pleasure I’d be emigrating to Canada!
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@Ares
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Look out, close your browser, your mom’s behind you!
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R U a lady Jean? A lady wouldn’t say such silly things. A lady would perhaps want to talk about something a bit more grown up and a bit more fun.
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Eeeeuw, when I glanced Ares’ post incompletely, I read “I’m nibbling gently on your bottom” for a moment.
To those who have been here longer than me: have we had any trolls with a slightly pervy side to them before here at CoFSM?
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@Batman
“@Pirates and Wenches
I am completely assed right now. If this post offends anyone, please know that I will be very sorry in the morning.”
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Sod that, let fly if you want! If people take offence then they shouldn’t be on an unmoderated site! Ego, Egas, Egat, Egamus, Egatis, Egeunt (note to Latin scholars – that might be wrong – esp. the 3rd person pl. Egeunt. Couldn’t be arsed checking it :( )
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Batman – you say what you bloody want to :) and tell your goat I’m thinking of her (or him – not fussy as long as it has horns)
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Hey everyone.
Haven’t been here in a while, what’s been going in my absence?
RAmen
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Ares –
““Hi I’m Dutch. Can I shit in your mouth and film it.†”
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I believe it’s called “Caviare”
(I really have to stop going to some of the darker sites)
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Hi Pixel. Nothing much really. You ok?
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@Alchemist
Careful there buddy. Though you are a fine pastafarian and online friend, you’re threading into dangerous territory with your last few posts addressed to Batman.
@Pixel
We’ve been up to stuff that might make you want to read JBs post to Arse from 6.43 am in this thread.
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@Ares
I beg your pardon? Do we know each other?
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“Arse” Hey thats an anagram. Funny! U must B a very clever boy. A clever boy that likes 2 wear a nappy and get bottle fed by a fat woman dressed as his mommy.
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@Arse
I am deeply impressed by the intellectual depth of your posts. Can you teach me that please? I’d really like to be as good as you. If only I could be….
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U never will B little Dutch boy. Go stick your finger in a dyke and let Batgirl become Batwoman.
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@Arse
Ah, you know Batman too, up to the point of her preferred sexual orientation. You sure know a lot of people. So much that it makes me wonder. People, could Arse actually be the FSM posing as a person?!? His wisdom, knowledge and intelligence are so immense that I think he can’t be a mere human. Behold, we have witnessed the presence of the FSM! Ramen, it’s an historic day for all of mankind. Small pity though that the FSM turns out to be such an arse.
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@ everyone – What’s going on here? I feel as though this site has mutated into something I don’t understand. It used to be fun, but now it just makes me sad and disinterested. I can’t stand to read all the prior posts, so forgive me if I’m jumping to conclusions. It seems that we are arguing amongst ourselves and it’s unclear to me why. I’d rather argue with rabid fundies. Peace.
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@DPG
The posts to Batman weren’t insulting her. Anything but! The Ego bit wasn’t a dig at her – sorry if it came over that way!
Batman – you do know I wasn’t having a go at you I hope? Damn! we need emoticons on this site – far to easy to read things the wrong way.
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My sense of humour is a bit iffy at the best of times – was even bought a T shirt with “Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Know” by a, sadly deceased, friend once.
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@Arse Mar 18th, 2007 at 7:17 am “U never will B little Dutch boy. Go stick your finger in a dyke and let Batgirl become Batwoman.”
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Hmmm, heavily underestimating our Batman, arn’t you, kiddie? This time you got away with it, telling your mom you need to browse to suspicious websites for homework, but she’ll get wise sooner or later.
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@Alchemist
I wasn’t worrying about you offending Batman, but about the “I’d move to Canada” bits. The Hell you would! I’ll hit you harder with the Mighty Frying Pan if you do that, than you would hit me if I made a move on Nikkiee (sorry to sound possesive Batman, but too many guys seem to be after you. Damn them all).
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@JB
Don’t count on Arse’s mother wising up any time soon. Arse inherited his intelligence from his mothers side, so she’ll be slower than a slug on morfine.
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@DutchPastaGuy Mar 18th, 2007 at 7:30 am “(sorry to sound possesive Batman, but too many guys seem to be after you. Damn them all).”
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Hehe, did you realize that Pirates who like beer (even if it isn’t GREEN) have an advantage?
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Dutch Guy. Sarcasim in not clever.
Batgirl I must apologise if I have behaved badly. I hope U R not offended and we can talk soon.
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Maybe U’d like to talk with me Jean?
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DPG
HAHAHAHAHAHA! got you :)
Sorry mate, wasn’t trying to get in the way of you “cutting the rug” with our cute Canadian caped crusader :))
Don’t worry mate – Wench Nickiee is enough for me :) we can put the frying pans down! Unless you fancy……..hmmm, nah! I don’t think me poor prostate could take a foursome
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Dutch Guy. Morfine is spelled morphine. Not clever.
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@Arse
Trying to charm Jean now, eh? Boy will you feel silly once you find out.
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@Arse
You’re right about the spelling. Btw, “Sarcasim” in your post is spelled wrong too.
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@DutchPastaGuy Mar 18th, 2007 at 7:40 am “@Arse Trying to charm Jean now, eh? Boy will you feel silly once you find out.”
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DPG, you’d know that in order to save our beloved Batman I would go far, but toying with Arse, even virtually, would be very limit…
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@Jean
“….Hehe, did you realize that Pirates who like beer (even if it isn’t GREEN) have an advantage?”
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GREEN beer :) I know red ones – (snakky black and red witch) but green – oooh idea here, half a scrumpy(cider) half a lager, shot of Absinthe and a dash of lime! Actually sounds quite attractive – damn! The demons are talking to me again…..yeah, ok! I’ll set fire to it in a minute……..what? Petrol? Naah, sod that, get me some ether.
Dolly! will you stop nagging me I’m *trying* to talk to tramenoch here!
Bloody clones!
:D
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Touche Dutch Guy! I’m not really interested in Jean. Sorry Jean but U R just not my type, 2 nasty I’m afraid. I’m sorry that I said U were not clever Dutch Guy. I checked your link and it would appear that U R. Can U forgive me? Do U think Batgirl will forgive me?
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@JB
Then why not give Arse the bad news and explain to him that ‘Bart’ is not your last name but part of your first name. And that the ‘Jean’ part does not indicate you’re a female. With some people you just have to explain everything, those dumb-arses.
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@Alchemist Mar 18th, 2007 at 7:51 am “GREEN beer :) I know red ones – (snakky black and red witch) but green – oooh idea here, half a scrumpy(cider) half a lager, shot of Absinthe and a dash of lime! Actually sounds quite attractive – damn!”
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I learned from Batman about the drinking of green beer on St. Patrick’s Day. Not my first thought when fancying a beer, but next year I could try it in an Irish pub… Until now, every time I try a different beer, I return to my classics: Orval and Gueuze (Girardin, Cantillon, Drie Fonteinen… the small-scale artisanal top!)
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@Arse
I don’t think Batgirl or I took it serious enough to be offended in the first place (can only speak for myself with certainty btw). Look through some of the older threads, we get forum trolls that spew heaps of seriously foul language, yours was very modest. Although somewhat innovative in the sense that I hadn’t seen trolls producing racy language on this forum yet.
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I knew that Jean wasn’t my type. I guess U can’t forgive me Dutch Guy. I hope Batgirl will.
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@Arse Mar 18th, 2007 at 7:51 am “Do U think Batgirl will forgive me?”
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Aha, changing tactiques, eh? Playing the humble “please-dominate-me” type, eh? Tsk tsk tsk, you even don’t deserve a good cyberslapping round the ears for misunderestimating our Wenches.
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No racy language Dutch Guy? So do U think Batgirl won’t like me describing how I would kiss her toes moving slowly over her calves to her inner thigh and beyond?
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@JB
Indeed, look at his language in the sand formations thread and you get an altogether different impression of our latest troll.
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Yay, Wenches!
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Bart, why would a woman like Batgirl want a pussy guy? She is a super hero after all. I’d see Batgirl as the type of super hero who’d like strong but gentle.
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I’m not interested in the boys Dutch Guy. I think that theres one to many so called pirates on this site without enough steel in their trousers.
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I’m bored. Tell Batgirl she had a gentleman caller will U please.
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@Arse
We’re bored with you too. Goodbye.
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Jean
We used to have a few fantastic independent breweries in Tykeland – Theakston’s, Websters etc – all bought out by the conglomerate monsters alas.
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Theakston’s Old Peculiar (no joke – real name!) has been the guilty party in many of my younger forays (including the *cling-film*, *superglue* and *phenolphthalein* incidents!)
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It got you drunk from the feet upwards – you felt fine but the minute you tried to stand up you ended up doing a fish impression on the floor with your mates pointing and laughing at you (and pouring beer on your head or trying to shave your eyebrows off)- I have a strange circle of friends – I’ll try to find a ‘photo of a field trip for you :- Dr ********* got hammered so we shaved him – he reapplied his eyebrows with a pen – only it was a blue one – he looked so funny :)
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Steel? In their trousers?
Really, that’s not to be recommended you know – I am a urology nurse, I should know – you need to be very careful with foreign objects “down there” youcan get into all sorts of trouble – be sure to give me a shout if you have a problem though, I am very experienced with removal of the same – only a small charge for out of hours services.
I am sure you don’t need telling, Batman, but I would advise steering clear of the arse and sailing on over to the european contingent if I were you – we have a spare room if you need one :)
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@ Arse
We’ll tell Batman she had someone talking out their arse at her – I am sure she will be delighted – not!
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@Booty
Don’t forget to check my “Agnus Castus” translation… ahahaha!
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I have – I posted – you can’t have got it yet.
Such a chaste little lamb I am – can’t you tell ;)
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@Arse Mar 18th, 2007 at 8:57 am “Hi Booty. What R U wearing? Nurses outfit maybe? Want 2 play doctors and nurses?”
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Poor kiddie, trying all the Wenches, to no avail. You’ll never be a Pirate, kid, forget about it, go play in the sand, build yourself a nice sand castle and try to play Almighty King of the Dunes. Be sure to dress well, it might be a bit chilly out there. Ask your mom for a hot cocoa.
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I’m not Ares by the way! Just in case the nasty wagging finger of suspicion points in my direction (again)
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@Alchemist Mar 18th, 2007 at 9:07 am “I’m not Ares by the way! Just in case the nasty wagging finger of suspicion points in my direction (again)”
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Trolling on fundie sites should charge your agenda enough without extras that need you to lower your level to that of Arse! Would you be able to play that sort of troll, here, without your blushing face being covered by a slimy substance, the remains of what once was a fully funcioning brain, now leaking from your skull? Oops, better not challenge…
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@JB
“Poor kiddie, trying all the Wenches, to no avail.”
Well, if you feel so sorry for him then why not be a kind ‘Jean’ wench and speak some sweet words to him. Keep the vomit bucket close to you at all time though.
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JB
Spot on mon ami!
It’s just that I tend to get the blame these days! I couldn’t troll here ( I did once with Daniel and Damien) I hated myself for it! A few people who I like and respect bit – even after I said it was me.
So no! Alchemist doesn’t troll Venganza.org (although MPTrooper might be different :) – I fancy a pop at him)
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And for the record – Alchemist is not always me!
Those that know me have questions that only I know the answer to!
The truth is out there! You only have to ask :))
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Well, considering it is my day off, no I am not wearing a nurse’s outfit – and believe me I have quite enough of playing Doctors and Nurses when I am at work, and anyway I work in theatre’s – so I wear nice green pyjamas at work – very sexy!
But thanks for asking.
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@Booty
I know a few excellent bits of ‘playing doctor’ you could do with Arse. Start by castrating him, using the bluntest tool available and no anesthetic (how do you spell that?). And then maybe move onto amputating his fingers so that he can’t type post anymore.
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I think the ship needs some sort of pirate-y look to it in order for it to grasp more attention. You could probably get a few small news story from a normal ship, but think of the publicity you’d get if it your first ship was a old-school pirate one. Of course, you could always do somethings to the boat to make it look more old-fashioned. Right now that might be the best way to go financially, spiritually, and media-wise.
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To Kristina… thank you for bringing the discussion back to intelligence. It was getting pretty high-school there for a while. I definitely agree with you; whatever ship is purchased would need to be altered to have more of a pirate look. I don’t think that would be difficult, though — the hard part’s getting the dinero to buy it in the first place! :)
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This place is just like a church.
The “prophet” makes his speech,
and somehow convinces people to donate.
Of corse, he promises to “give back”
in order to build a better world.
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There are several examples of this:
– Politics
– Religion
– Pyramid Schemes
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Mr. Henderson keep going, you may someday
be able to buy yourself the Presidency.
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@WTF
Yeah – I brought that up a few months ago! I was convinced, however, that Bobby isn’t like that! Let him get a few quid out of this – why not!
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At least it keeps people like me off the street!
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@DPG and Alchemist and Jean Bart
You guys are wonderful. Really wonderful… don’t have time to read through all the above posts, but you are all being so nice about me. Makes my heart flutter and my toes curl.
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@Ares
You’re an ass. And, you frankly disgust me. I like my men with a bit of intelligence and wit, as well as a more subtle approach.
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@All
Will hopefully be back tonight. Just got a phone call, having a slight family emergency. You all have a good day, no fighting (unless with the perv-child), and I hope to see you all later.
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Ramen
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My opinions are as follows:
1) Get official Religion status
2) Save up
3) Buy trader
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@Ares Mar 18th, 2007 at 7:12 am
Desperate much? Mentally and physically? Have to feel a little sorry here for the poor thing guys. :P
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LOL @ Ares what a douche. Hes probly like the world of warcraft southpark guy.
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@Alchemist Mar 18th, 2007 at 6:51 am
“If people take offense then they shouldn’t be on an unmoderated site!”
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In total agreement on that :)
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Morning early-bird :)
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http://www.yachtsales.com/text/ib527.html
This is a sexy boat..
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@Ares
By the way Ares…a friend has temporarily left a full cylinder of oxy acetylene at my place and I’m sure he won’t mind if I use a bit of it (sure it won’t take much), so I’m only too happy to talk to you :)
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Hi Alchemist
Just having a little play before “head down bum up” :)
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@DPG
*snicker… just had time to read all that has happened here since last night. Thanks for the impressive defense! Alchemist and Jean Bart… thanks to both of you as well. Think you all might be giving me a bit too much credit, but I like it. =)
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Is the boat going to have a motor? Or is going to be solely wind powered? Or do all sailboats come with motors? I’m not familiar with them… I generally like the kind of boats with big motors, and steering wheels, and beverage holders, and fridges, and bathrooms, and beds instead of cots. Same thing with camping… I don’t mind sleeping in a tent, but I won’t go to a campground that doesn’t have showering facilities. Will there be showering facilities on the boat?
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Ooooh….just noticed I’d missed one of Arse’s posts
@Ares Mar 18th, 2007 at 7:51 am
“U R just not my type, 2 nasty I’m afraid.”
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Hi Ares :) Don’t worry…most of us here are only nasty to little crawling pests, that are in themselves, nasty. Please come back :) I didn’t get a chance to play with you :(
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@Wenchy
This beasty is even more interesting then I first thought…”Tell Batgirl she had a gentleman caller will U please.”…why the interest in Batman???…This is the trouble with living in the future…I sometime miss out on all the interesting stuff that occurs in the past…
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You seen this by the way?
http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/2006/01/second-annual-myspace-stupid-haircut.html
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Funny :))
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This sounds totally awesome, but what about Pastafarins such as myself who are under 18? I have to go to school but I really want to help, or even just see the boat in person. Is there a way the ship could like go down the east coast and let people get on it and walk around like they do with historical replicas? You could charge like $10 a person to see it, and I know alot of people who can’t volunteer as crew members would definetly want to go.
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*snort… gentleman caller, my ass! Little man’s ego is way out of line with his actual capabilities, in my opinion.
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Batman Mar 18th, 2007 at 6:17 pm “*snort… gentleman caller, my ass! Little man’s ego is way out of line with his actual capabilities, in my opinion.”
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The Arse character (nice DPG’s shot, this anagram!!) is surely sucking its thumb by now, wondering what all those Wenches and Pirates have against it, errr, him. Actually, it gave some Pirates (and Wenches) the opportunity to unite against an arrogant dimwit… isn’t that beautiful?
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@Wench Beth
It seems everyone went back to being distracted though. I thought most of us were a little more mature, but perhaps this post has grown to long for people to stay on-topic.
Anyway, I also think making it look more pirate-like wouldn’t be too hard or expensive. I’m sure a lot of people would volunteer materials and labor. Bobby said he could probably handle the cheaper boat; if it’s safely made and if people would volunteer to make it look more interesting, it sounds like the best choice.
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I was just thinking; Bobby never said anything about the sizes of these boats. Getting a boat that won’t hold more than ten people would be fairly pointless in my mind. If I had more information on size I could give a better opinion.
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@Jean Bart
Yes, it was nice to see the Pastafarians uniting against an outside asshole rather than fighting with each other. =)
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@Kristina Mar 18th, 2007 at 6:40 pm “@Wench Beth It seems everyone went back to being distracted though. I thought most of us were a little more mature, but perhaps this post has grown to long for people to stay on-topic.”
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It’s no use fighting against that: the regular posters almost make it an unwritten rule to divert a thread around the 20th comment. A really exciting topic could resist until a 30th comment, but beyond… And don’t forget, one of our Wenches was being a kind of ill-treated by an arrogant ***** (fill in the blanks), and the Pirates can’t let that pass!
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Still, on topic this one: no one answered my question (Mar 17th, 2007 at 6:41 pm):how is this ship to be used practically? No use having a brillant bunch of Pirates and Wenches aboard if nobody knows what reason to sail for. “Hey, world, there’s an FSM ship sailing, come and see it” won’t bring much valuable input to the cause I’m afraid.
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@ Jean Bart,
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How about sailing for pure love of the sea and the life-giving primordial soup it was (and still is?)? It’s not very practical, but it sounds noble.
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To Saucy Wench… your idea is the best so far IMHO :) but at the same time this pirate ship needs to pay for itself and the Church, so…
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(and this is where I try to answer Jean Bart’s question)
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… it would be cool to be able to sail the pirate ship to different ports, have the media informed beforehand so the news cameras and reporters could show up (hopefully!), and give people guided tours and tell them all about Pastafarianism. All this for a small fee; as Lylly suggested above, $10 or less per person.
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I think people would totally go for it just for the fun of it and wouldn’t mind paying a small price for a ticket! I sure wouldn’t! Especially when we’d all be decked out in full pirate regalia, speaking pirate-speak, etc. How could any member of any continent resist the handsome pirates and sexy wenches of the FSM?! :)))
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What should we use as a figurehead? The FSM, or one of the strippers?
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It was on the good ship Venus,
By Christ you shoulda seen us,
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast was a bamboo penis.
.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Friggin’ in the Riggin’ and Other Rude Drinking Songs
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this is very strange to me because a fortune cookie said that i would be invited to a social gathering, no joke. i think you should save up some cash and get something like that trader. i would donate to this if i were in control of my money instead of my parents controlling it, so i’ll need some time to save my money and convince my parents to donate to the cause. RAmen!
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oh and i forgot to mention i also have some sailing experience. =P
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why don’t we (pirates) steal one
“if ye can’t steal one, buy a ship” or something like that says the 4th “wwapd?”, so we could just steal one from a museum or something
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@St John the Blasphemist
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
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To St John the Blasphemist… I DIDN’T READ THAT!! I DIDN’T READ THAT!!
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@Jean Bart
True, no real band of pirates would leave their wenches undefended. If only there was no offense to deal with to begin with.
The point of a ship would be to spread the word of the FSM and be more spiritually connected to him. Most of us claim to be pirates, but often times we don’t have a chance to connect with the sea. What torture for a pirate! If you’re thinking money-wise, I think we could carry some FSM and pirate goods, and with so many people being attracted to something so unusual as a pirate should, we could make good sales. Mostly I think it’s for fun and letting the world know of our awesome religion though.
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Aye, and a good thing the FSM ship would be. I’ll tell my mate the Kraken to leave the Pastafarians be, for a good crew of pirates they are! Arrrrrgh! So hoist the sails as soon as ye can, mates, for our noble mother the Earth is a-warmin’ as we speak!
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Helloooooo….Ares. Don’t know if Batman is still around and the moment. I’m sure she’ll be back if she sees you are here though…so don’t run off too quickly will you :)
We’ve been having a little chat about you :) BY the way…which romance novel are you reading from? Still the same one?
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You should try and post around the same time of day, as you’ll be more likely to catch her then :)
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Oh and I think you are on the wrong thread too! I believe this is the one you want
http://www.venganza.org/2007/03/16/mysterious-sand-formation-resembles-flying-spaghetti-monster.htm#comment-77279
RAmen
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hahahahahaha….you know Arse….I almost genuinely feel sorry for you :)
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You’re a sad sad sad case
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That sounds remarkable close to something i did with Ares’ Mom last night… Don’t quite remember it was St. Patrick’s day… And i think his sister was there too…
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hahahahahaha…….hehehehehe….hello Ships Cat Good to see you out and about again :))
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@Buccaneer Jerda Mar 19th, 2007 at 12:26 am
“That sounds remarkable close to something i did with Ares’ Mom last night…”
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Erm….Jerda…are you sure it was Ares’ Mom and not Ares in drag? Word is that it can be very hard to tell sometimes…especially in the dark ;)
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Ether or it wasn’t very good.. So i don’t want to talk about it.
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Understandable too :)
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@Jack Arse
Where have you gone. You’d like me. I’m a purple long haired pussy and half shaved since the FSM-mas party…after escaping the clutches of Mamma Chinee I have a new lease on life and claws that’ll leave you covered in “scarlet lines”…lets party!…do you own a feather duster?…huuuuph…and I thought Thumper was a jackass…meow!
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It’s all yours Ships Cat :)
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K Ships Cat Don’t be too hard on poor ole Thumpie will ya…after all he decided against sending you, in multiple boxes, to Mammas :)
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Yawn, arsy is a boring little twit. Shouldn,t we go back to a slightly more interesting topic? Anything should do.
*
Sniff, I never have a secret admirer though :(
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hey anyone awake, try this ok: http://www.venganza.org/chat/
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OK, I tried, after login I get an empty page called home. Is that supposed to happen?
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@RDPK
All the pirates love you!
I the chat screen, just type something yourself in the box below and hir return. Then you should at least see your own post.
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@DPG
Hello. I had a bit of trouble here as well…may have another go…
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@Alchemist
I had even more trouble with chat…the FSM obviously wants me to spend my time being more productive in other ways…wabbit out…
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@Thumper – yeah – it could cause some time related problems :)
Catch you on the flip side :)
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What do you guys think about The Crab of Ineffable Wisdom??
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Tasty.
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“What do you guys think about The Crab of Ineffable Wisdom??”
.
I’m a vegetarian but I imagine she’s quite tasty :)
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@First Matey WaffleFlop
“What do you guys think about The Crab of Ineffable Wisdom??”
A wise and tasty oracle.
Hail Eris.
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I think we should get back on topic of the pirate ship, I support a smaller ship in that (used properly) could be an excellent device to raise awareness (and donations) for later expansion. and actually if it reached the point were enough Pastafarians believed it was going to happen and we would get to sail into port in a FSM Pirate ship loaded with grog and wenches to annoy evangelicals you would see some pretty sizable donations, I would consider that a good use of a weeks time and the grand or so I would otherwise blow on whatever vacation I do this summer (and keep in mind its been over a year, time enough for a few college senior Pastafarians to graduate and make some money, take a lesson from marketing employed new college graduates that haven’t yet started families tend to be the demographics with the highest average disposable income they spend in ridiculous ways)
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Surely we’re aiming for a world-wide fleet of vessels! Modest beginnings are fine, as long as we supersize later.
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I don’t know if you have heard of the company, but barefoot cruises sort of runs on a similar principle. It started as one guy with a boat in the Bahamas, and people paid to crew the ship. It has since gotten larger. You might try a similar tactic. This could cut down on port fees, since you only need one port of call with an airport, and could sail to small islands which welcome any visitors they can get, and are consequently much cheaper (for the company, and the passengers). This makes getting to these islands seem more “exclusive”, if you are looking for another marketing scheme, though I think the pirate idea is a good one. If you plan to incorporate, or otherwise sell stock, post something on the website. I think you probably will have better luck incorporating not in the US, but maybe in one of the smaller islands. Look into the various ports of call you can use if you are serious about getting this up and running. As fascinating as it might be, I do not think that this could be successful as a non-profit.
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And sail under the Dutch flag, like Greenpeace: Holland has the best maritime legislation in the world!
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if u replace the sails add some rust and some watter warping it would be more appropriate. Also we need a bar on the ship (grog)… does it have one? another fun thing would be a plank… it would be primarilly for diving off of, but it would be very cool! Lastly it needs a stereo system so we can notify people we are coming
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The Navy is mothballing the aircraft carrier John F Kennedy – I think you could get it at surplus pricing. Plenty of deck space for His Noodliness to touch down on…or to hold a massive party on…
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The jollyfish goes on top, of course, and has anybody found a decent name yet? Provided the Pirates aren’t superstitious enough to be troubled by the renaming of a ship!
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@Mike T Mar 19th, 2007 at 4:58 pm “The Navy is mothballing the aircraft carrier John F Kennedy – I think you could get it at surplus pricing. Plenty of deck space for His Noodliness to touch down on…or to hold a massive party on…”
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And to put at least one zeppelin on it (the airship mentioned in the chat room!)
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A Zeppelin would definitely be a plus.
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@ Bobby
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Have you considered this little beauty for a landing craft – it has a few appendages that could pass for noodly!
http://www.earthrace.net/
.
Bagsies having a play!
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I vote for the trader. It looks piratey and can support itself financially.
Arrrrggh.
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Buying a boat seems like a bad idea – really, let’s say we save up hundreds of dollars by scrounging up the last of the possible fund-raising. Which would you rather do:
1. Huge PR campaign with print ads, commissioned websites, grant money (for disciple organizations out there) and everything to rehabilitate the church’s following?
2. Blow it all on a big boat for the hell of it, spend tons of effort and money getting the boat crewed and functional, go around sailing on the boat for a while, and have FSM die into obscurity.
All in all, while boating is pretty neat (I have to admit), what’s neater is keeping Pastafarianism alive. The cult that is catholicism unabashedly uses money to popularize itself, and we have *much* lower moral standards than them. They think they can sink low? We can sink lower. Use the money as it should be used, as it was intended to be used: use the $$$ to keep pastafarianism alive.
Possible ways:
–Ads in newspapers (could be small ones or a giant full page one in the New York Times or something — this you could have a Fundraiser for)
–Commission songs about Pastafarianism from good artists and form an FSM music album (which would once again replenish church funds and spread the good word). In the liner notes, you could have discussion about the importance of empiricism in matters of education – or about how dogma is a personal thing that should be kept private. You could hold a contest online for Pastafarian songs and reward the best few with money and a spot on the album. The best thing to do would be commission songs reminiscent of Christian music.
–Propaganda! Hire people to create pamphlets and posters? Print out copies of books or pamphlets or posters to mail out en masse to Pastafarian organizations (student groups or upstanding citizens who request them) or to random strangers for free. Hire people to seed new Pastafarian organizations with their own websites, specific purpose, specific “market” (website should make fun of the way the Christians specifically tailor their output to different demographics depending on the situation, preying on that age/culture group’s aspects under guise), specific outreach programs
–Grant money! FSM student organizations need money to print out and create propaganda, as well as to act as missionaries. $200 to a group of two people, or $300 to a new small group, and then increase their grant money by units of $100 a year (so $400 second year, $500 third year), with an upper limit of say, $1000,
–FSM Church/Foundation? Yeah right, too expensive. Plus, too stationary. Plus, too centralized. I have a feeling that a central location for a large fan base would be detrimental. His high noodliness is everywhere. We don’t want to give the feeling that he’s just in one place.
–Work on creating the FSM Non-for-profit? You probably won’t want to be doing the FSM stuff your whole life (the go-buy-a-boat thing seems kind of a sign of burnout), and a FSM non-profit would be a great way to turn over the protection of Pastafarian interests, and the needs for maintenance of the website and community, to a reliable group. You’d have to establish some by-laws and purposes explicitly, but there needs to be some kind of heir to your position as religious leader should the religion continue. Less work for you.
–FSM/anti-creationism-in-schools feature-length movies? *drools* It could be great, but I couldn’t say it’ll pay foritself in sales. Unlike a CD, physical ownership barely counts for anything these days with movies, and there are only meager means of paid online distribution. Not to say that’s any reason not to do them, but one needs to be clear ahead of time that long indie movies involve lots of effort, are risky endeavor success-wise, and don’t make lots of money.
–Pastafarian study-group material.
–Pizza! Lots and lots of pizza, mysteriously, anonymously distributed to college students, with pasta on the side, and in big, black marker on the pasta boxes a messy sketch of his noodliness and FSM written and underlined below. Or, instead of anonymously, have a “FSM free pizza sign-up sheet.” in the middle of campuses. We’d already have about 10,000 potential converts by the time the money runs out.
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@ Shorleen Sharleneson,
You are forgetting the most Obvious thing of all…
We are pirates, pirates need boats.
Ramen
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I have’nt looked in on the site for a week or so, and now your talking about a procuring a pirate ship! That a f***ing brilliant idea! I’m a qualified to skipper a sailing vessel up to 50m (RYA Yachtmaster),have Ks of ocean miles and will gladly offer my services.
I definitely vote for the baltic trader. Fits more pirates. Square sails = advertising space, perfect for spreading the message. Yarr! Yarr! Yarr! crack out the rum!
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Just tried the live chat but only getting “Error 404 – Not Found
Perhaps the Flying Spaghetti Monster has hidden what you’re looking for.”
My FSM, My FSM. Why have you forsaken me?
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It’s being upgraded Sirius…bigger and better
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@ Wench Nickkiee
Oh! thats alright then. I feel much better now that I know that I probably havent been forsaken!
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Shorleen –
Instead of commissioning musicians/artists for PR purposes, I suggest holding contests. The best 10 entries will be used (free) to raise money, the winner gets to sign on for a stint on the Baltic Trader (which we can then afford).
Someone needs to design the Good Ship FSM flag and figurehead as well. Oh, and I’m an experienced sailor and good cook, so count me in …
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To Cinekat… we’ll be sharing the galley, then — I’m going to be part-time cook, too!
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I’m fairly sure that the pirate fish design is going to be used as the flag, yes?
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@ pieces of h8
“Why not just steal the ship? That would make it a pirate ship by default. ”
You took the words right out of my mouty. seeing the growing number of pastafarians, I’d recommend something big. like an aircraft carrier. I’m sure there’s plenty of those knocking around. Enough so that no-one will notice if one goes missing.
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another point. Why not go on lecture tours of the country to raise money. I’m sure people would pay to ocme meet you, and learn more about pastafarianism.
After all, I’m paying 10 bucks to go see the world premier screening of pure pwnage season 2, episode 1, (www.purepwnage.com) so, with pastafarians, you could probally charge more, if you got a free beer with the ticket or something.
Heh. just aa suggestion. Of course, you could also pray that sales of FSM stuff will skyrocket, but that might be a bit harder..
Sorry about my spelling By the way, I’m tired.
In my previous post I said ‘mouty’, i meant ‘mouth’
Gah.
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Bugger. Come*
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Good to see everyone doing their part to stop global warming by becoming pirates
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Would selling your house and living on the ship be too crazy to happen? There are plenty of people who do that in retirement and such. Once at sea, you could sell FMS products (and perhaps other stuff as well) in order to pay for the upkeep of the ship and its passengers. It seems plausible to me. Pulling up into a tourist beach town in a pirate-ish ship will attract a lot of attention, and plenty of them will be looking for a tacky souvenir.
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@Shorleen Sharleneson Mar 22nd, 2007 at 3:47 pm “Buying a boat seems like a bad idea – really, let’s say we save up hundreds of dollars by scrounging up the last of the possible fund-raising.”
.
From the viewpoint of pure rational thinking, you’re absolutely right. From a (A, not THE!) Pastafarian viewpoint, you should look for another type of movement to sustain. No offense meant, but one of the typical aspects of CoFSM is this special mix of rationality, wit and silly humour. Which makes that things, dreamt up in a (sometimes) silly mood, can come true, if enough other Pastafarians are touched by the idea. It is also this aspect that puts off fundies, whose total lack of wit and humour is notorious, as are their bad grammar and worse spelling. Maybe the ship is a silly idea. Maybe the ship will be sailing in all its glory within a year, and be the big event of 2008, overshadowing whatever result comes forth of the US elections! Don’t misunderestimate the FSM!
RAmen!
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First of all: WE SHOULD HAVE A BOAT!
This idea is simply to great to be abandoned. Alone the attention would be worth the money.
I think we could get a little business running by buying a small boat first, using it for cruises, renting it out etc. This money could then be spent on an even bigger boat!
Concerning using the money on commercials etc., I really think much of this stuff could be done by volunteers. There are so many Pastafarians out there, some of them must be able to design posters, do songs and so forth. Perhaps Bobby should put a call out there for pastafarians to promote the faith?
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What you got to do is get a ship in mind then have naming rights for various parts of the ship. Sell the main deck for $10,000 a bench on the ship for $500. You can also sell the name of the ship for $1,000,000. Or what ever value you think would be good for each part. once you get the funds and the ship buy plaques for each area with a picture of the person announcing that part of the ship is named after him.
So what we would have is the “Bobby Henderson FSM pirate ship” the “Nate Bryant Main Deck” the “Brett Trembly Stateroom” the “Eric Smith Galley” ect. This is a very easy way to raise money for any big project. We can even do corporate sponsorships the “Nissan Noodle Ship” or what ever.
Also have different levels of sponsorships that aren’t big enough for the various areas of the ship. So a $100 donation gets you a bronze circle, $500 silver circle and $1000 the gold circle (or what ever you want to name it) and have a giant plaque a the entrance to the ship with all the names of the people who donated enough to make it.
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No offence to anyone, but we ARE pirates, are we not? So, why not get a smaller boat to begin with, and just “borrow” stuff until we can afford a bigger boat? I would gladly work on the boat during the summer, but I am just a student, and have no money to donate, unfortunately.
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Haha nice
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A@dam Reimer Mar 29th, 2007 at 11:33 pm
.
“Haha nice”
.It’s all nioce….which bit???
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err..nice even :)
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I’m fairly disappointed at this conception, though pirates and thus pirates boats are surely divine messengers and avatars I must remind you all of our noodliness’ wishes.
”
6. I’d really rather you didn’t build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
1. Ending poverty
2. Curing diseases
3. Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.
”
Isn’t buying a pirate boat exactly the same as building a church/temple/shrine? Although the boat could perhaps be used to help end poverty, cure disease, live in peace, love with passion, or lower the cost of cable, there seem more efficient ways to do this with the amount of money involved.
Just something to keep in mind.
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This boat rocks!! It’s a hotter version of a pirate ship =] xx
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buy a cheap john boat
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that ship, is crap
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While it is true that the FSM decrees that we not waste money on trying to convert others, he did not say that we shouldn’t buy a wikid sik pirate ship and have loads of fun, connect the followers ect.
I am an Australian and I’m thinking that it would be great to sail that thing over here so i can go for a spin.
I have also taken a trip on the Young Endeavour (google it) and i think the advantages of sail training to pastafarians would be great.
Possibly an online register of volunteer crew with nearest coastal city and avaliable weeks would be a good idea. I personally liked that baltic trader but it is really at the Prophet Bob’s discression.
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@ pyrette
another aussie… awesome, you should go on live chat some time.
as for the ship, we’re hoping for ne that actually looks piratey.
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@ angryyoungatheist
.
We did try to negotiate for a second-hand Soviet battleship last year. A poster called Pokk was going to sort us out but I think the CIA got wind of the operation :(
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a FSM vessal has to have two qualities.
1. No electric motor. must have little or no new technolgies on it. If the pirates could sail without GPS’s then s can we.
2. a crew. how can you get at least 13 pastafrains together?
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Don’t forget weapons.
Can’t pillage without heavy artillery!
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Must have a yellow and purple cannon!
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@ Lord of the pirate fish;
i already said “Possibly an online register of volunteer crew with nearest coastal city and avaliable weeks”
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“If I am right, then will not go to Heaven, because there is no Heaven. If they are right, then they will not go to Heaven, because they are hypocrites.” – Isaac Asimov
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“Must have a yellow and purple cannon!”
Green too :) You can eat them as well because they’re non-toxic if made by Crayola!
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Those flowers are really pretty.
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I like flowers! What are they? Morning Glory?
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Afternoon Glorys I think.
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Can I fire the cannon? Pleeeeeeease.
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Aristotle, God of Satire Aug 11th, 2007 at 10:26 am
Can I fire the cannon? Pleeeeeeease.
.
Don’t see why not :) I’ve got first bagsies on the Cruise Missiles though!
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Afternoon Glorys? Is that when they wilt a bit :P
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Wait! I remembered!
They is Glory Holes!
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NewAtheist
Aug 11th, 2007 at 9:31 am
“If I am right, then will not go to Heaven, because there is no Heaven. If they are right, then they will not go to Heaven, because they are hypocrites.” – Isaac Asimov
*
Great guy :P
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I’ll talk to my friend, Meathook. He is a sailor, and he’s friends with Guybrush Threepwood, a mighty pirate!
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Red Dutch Pasta Wench
I agree.
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@ Alchemist
the HMAS Diamantina ia an ex Australian battleship. as far as i know they want to sink it in the next couple of years. could be worth looking in to.
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Just out of curiosity, are there any atheists living in the bible belt?
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angryyoungatheist
“the HMAS Diamantina ia an ex Australian battleship. as far as i know they want to sink it in the next couple of years. could be worth looking in to.”
.
Sounds pretty good! Being ex Aussie it’ll have a few breweries on board :P
We need some Plutonium though!
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NewAtheist – The atheists in the bible belt are very quiet. Rowdiest Wench and the symbol guy are in the bible belt (I think).
.
If you are in the bible belt, I would leave. :) Just kidding.
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Actually, HMAS Diamantina is a “River” class Frigate (an escort vessel of 1,450 tons displacement with 4″ guns… Battleships have guns of 11″ to 18″ shell diameter and are 15,000 tons to 60,000 tons.
She comissioned in the RAN in 1945, served as an Oceanographic ship from 1959, and has been a museum ship in Brisbane since 1980.
If she is sunk, that would be a real loss to Australian history.
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sorry i generalised blackbat.
the problem wth the diamantina is, it’s dry dock isn’t dry anymore, so there’s some damage to the hull.
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Honestly, a trading boat would be a decent choice, but perhaps we should build some smaller boats (25-20 footers) to store on the ship for our boarding parties. While using the ship to bring in revenue by hauling cargo sounds like a good idea, it seems a little astray from what the FSM’s chosen people would do with such a resouce.
Boats are definitely expensive thingd to buils and keep up, but a pirate is nothing but a landlubber without a ship.
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We should defiantly get on this.
idea 1: We could make our own boat (It could be customized for the purpose of converting people, and if any religion could build a seaworthy pirate ship, I’m sure it would be us)
idea 2: Maybe we could give people rides on the boat (cuz, who wouldn’t want a ride on a pirate ship?), and then get money from them.
idea 3: We should have an air cannon that shoots candy, so we can more effectively had out candy to small children at port (and perhaps we should also shoot toothbrushes/toothpaste to prevent bad oral hygiene, just a thought).
idea 4: There has to be some profit in hauling cargo, so maybe we could get a bank to loan us money for the ship, and then we gradually pay it off (kind of like a small business). Or perhaps we could sell advertising space for some money (I imagine some beer companies might be interested in putting their product on our sails).
idea 5: The ship should have solar power and some kind of internet connection.
idea 6: We could sail to the poles and do some research on climate change (We might even get a grant from the government, and they give lots of money).
idea 7: We should recruit some actual sailors to help us pick out our ship and then teach how to use it and not die.
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We need cannons, instead of canons.
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@Etay
I disagree. If we are going to convert people, it is probably best not to overwhelm them with too much information. In my opinion, potential converts need to be eased into their new life, and accepting the FSM should come before accepting proper use of language.
~
Or I need to proofread better, one of the two. :)
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@Alchemist
Mate, dont generalise. not all aussies are obsessed with beer.
Dont be such a frikkin’ choad
May his noodlyness have mercy on you
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@ Bazookoid
Don’t diss Alchemist. i know where you comin’ from, on the flip side of yo pimp crib in da ghetto. but what yu got to do is get yoself out of them there ways and talk like a decent human being, i mean, i get that them hoes need pimpin for dissin yo and all, but that don’t mean yo got to pop a cap in their asses.
Learn how not to say frikkin’, mate, and choad.
By the way, as an Aussie, a can say i often try to fill my body up with beer.
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I for one would be more than happy to pay 1k, or more even, to have a share in the ship that would spread The Noodly One’s word. Count me on board….and the wench….and the pirate brat in trainin.
IMHO, a Pirate ship would always be better than a modern yacht, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
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A cheap one is located here:
http://www.yachtworld.com/boats/1215191/0
A really good deal, you could probably talk the guy down on the price.
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Hey, where would this boat-church be located? Or would it travel around the world, spreading the holy word? I think it is a great idea. Also, does the US government recognize us as a valid religion yet?
-Sam
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Buy the Baltic Trader, it’s fine as a starter pirate ship. Like the Rainbow Warrior was for Greenpeace, the Pasta SeaFarian can be replaced after it’s blown up by French spies.
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I sure hope we get a boat soon! It would be amazing to bring the supreme-fun of the FSM to some tropical place… ah, just picture it! under the FSM’s pirate flag, the wind in our hair, foam swords at our hips, and nothing but pasta and good times ahead of us. I’m excited! If we all continue to support this cause, then the dream will become a reality. I have full confidence! Let’s do this thing.
Peace, Love, and Pasta,
Wench Sarah
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A trading Ship would work perfectly! as long as it has sails.
I live near one of the most important ports for trade in the Americas: Port Fourchon, South of New Orleans, Louisiana. and thought I’m a Piratess I’m sure I could learn how to be a mariner fairly easily, and share any reading materials and/or videos I find.
RAMEN, we will sail around bringing the FSM and thus ending hunger!
I personally plan to apply for a position on one of GreenPeace’s vessels.
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Many Pirates had fleets of vessels, we should look into getting a big trader, and some sailboats that ride the wake. and we can call him “Commodore Henderob”!
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I wanted to comment and thank the author, good stuff
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I am wondering how volunteering on this boat, if/when we get it, will work. Because.. I would love to volunteer on this boat, but so would about 2 million people, I think XD Does it help that I know how to sail? At all? Please?? x33
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If you look online, I’m sure we can find a small, yet very functional pirate ship within our price range. Hell, if I can sell some portraits, I’ll help pay for it! I’ve the talent, I lack wherewithal…. However, if we do get a boat, I’d love nothing more than to help man the sails. “Pirate” was a career choice for me when I was little. I’ve always wanted something like this, but never thought I’d be involved in a group of amazing people who want to launch a pirate ship!
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This topic is quite trendy on the Internet right now. What do you pay the most attention to when choosing what to write about?
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