Do you guys like this boat?
(you can’t really tell, but I crossed out the name of the boat, and wrote “church of the fsm”)
(note – in picture 2, there used to be a lady standing on the deck, but I photoshopped her out. You can still sort of see her legs if you look closely)
It’s not a pirate boat. But here’s the thing: it’s also not $2 million. This one’s a Tayana 37. The one pictured isn’t for sale, but they run about $100k, which we could probably handle *right now*.
The official FSM church missionary pirate boat IS going to happen, it’s just a matter of to what degree you want. I want to get everyone’s opinion on this. Wait until we can afford a “real” pirate ship, or get something smaller and start now? The Church makes nowhere near the amount of cash to get a millions-of-dollars boat anytime soon, if ever. The funds now are all coming from the t-shirts, car emblems, and book sales, and they’ve about leveled off. However, we do have a licensing arrangement, and there are some tv interests. That could mean some more cash for the pirate-boat-fund.
And there’s the option of fund-raising, but I’m guessing that people would be apprehensive paying into a fund like this (I would be). And are there that many seriously interested people who would pay $1k or more for a share of a pirate boat? I sort of wonder.
Maybe we could purchase a working boat, like a Baltic Trader (it’s sort of piratey), one of those ships that moves cargo from island to island in the tropics.
(baltic trader)
A trading ship would make enough money to keep it going (boats are crazy-expensive to upkeep). By the way, a Baltic Traders can easily go for a million dollars or more.
As for the actual missionary work we’ll be doing, I think it will take place somewhere tropical. Other than that, maybe we’ll just cruise around and wait for inspiration, like Jesus did.
And, as I’m sure there will be no shortage of volunteers, if we get a smaller boat we’ll have to figure out how to arrange the crewing,etc. And also I heard that it’s somewhat complicated to sail and maneuver around islands and other boats and things, so we’ll have to figure out a way to keep from sinking. Like a rule that at least a couple people onboard at anytime know what they’re doing.
Please discuss, I want to hear everyone’s opinions on this.
I don’t know if you have heard of the company, but barefoot cruises sort of runs on a similar principle. It started as one guy with a boat in the Bahamas, and people paid to crew the ship. It has since gotten larger. You might try a similar tactic. This could cut down on port fees, since you only need one port of call with an airport, and could sail to small islands which welcome any visitors they can get, and are consequently much cheaper (for the company, and the passengers). This makes getting to these islands seem more “exclusive”, if you are looking for another marketing scheme, though I think the pirate idea is a good one. If you plan to incorporate, or otherwise sell stock, post something on the website. I think you probably will have better luck incorporating not in the US, but maybe in one of the smaller islands. Look into the various ports of call you can use if you are serious about getting this up and running. As fascinating as it might be, I do not think that this could be successful as a non-profit.
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And sail under the Dutch flag, like Greenpeace: Holland has the best maritime legislation in the world!
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if u replace the sails add some rust and some watter warping it would be more appropriate. Also we need a bar on the ship (grog)… does it have one? another fun thing would be a plank… it would be primarilly for diving off of, but it would be very cool! Lastly it needs a stereo system so we can notify people we are coming
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The Navy is mothballing the aircraft carrier John F Kennedy – I think you could get it at surplus pricing. Plenty of deck space for His Noodliness to touch down on…or to hold a massive party on…
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The jollyfish goes on top, of course, and has anybody found a decent name yet? Provided the Pirates aren’t superstitious enough to be troubled by the renaming of a ship!
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@Mike T Mar 19th, 2007 at 4:58 pm “The Navy is mothballing the aircraft carrier John F Kennedy – I think you could get it at surplus pricing. Plenty of deck space for His Noodliness to touch down on…or to hold a massive party on…”
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And to put at least one zeppelin on it (the airship mentioned in the chat room!)
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A Zeppelin would definitely be a plus.
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@ Bobby
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Have you considered this little beauty for a landing craft – it has a few appendages that could pass for noodly!
http://www.earthrace.net/
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Bagsies having a play!
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I vote for the trader. It looks piratey and can support itself financially.
Arrrrggh.
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Buying a boat seems like a bad idea – really, let’s say we save up hundreds of dollars by scrounging up the last of the possible fund-raising. Which would you rather do:
1. Huge PR campaign with print ads, commissioned websites, grant money (for disciple organizations out there) and everything to rehabilitate the church’s following?
2. Blow it all on a big boat for the hell of it, spend tons of effort and money getting the boat crewed and functional, go around sailing on the boat for a while, and have FSM die into obscurity.
All in all, while boating is pretty neat (I have to admit), what’s neater is keeping Pastafarianism alive. The cult that is catholicism unabashedly uses money to popularize itself, and we have *much* lower moral standards than them. They think they can sink low? We can sink lower. Use the money as it should be used, as it was intended to be used: use the $$$ to keep pastafarianism alive.
Possible ways:
–Ads in newspapers (could be small ones or a giant full page one in the New York Times or something — this you could have a Fundraiser for)
–Commission songs about Pastafarianism from good artists and form an FSM music album (which would once again replenish church funds and spread the good word). In the liner notes, you could have discussion about the importance of empiricism in matters of education – or about how dogma is a personal thing that should be kept private. You could hold a contest online for Pastafarian songs and reward the best few with money and a spot on the album. The best thing to do would be commission songs reminiscent of Christian music.
–Propaganda! Hire people to create pamphlets and posters? Print out copies of books or pamphlets or posters to mail out en masse to Pastafarian organizations (student groups or upstanding citizens who request them) or to random strangers for free. Hire people to seed new Pastafarian organizations with their own websites, specific purpose, specific “market” (website should make fun of the way the Christians specifically tailor their output to different demographics depending on the situation, preying on that age/culture group’s aspects under guise), specific outreach programs
–Grant money! FSM student organizations need money to print out and create propaganda, as well as to act as missionaries. $200 to a group of two people, or $300 to a new small group, and then increase their grant money by units of $100 a year (so $400 second year, $500 third year), with an upper limit of say, $1000,
–FSM Church/Foundation? Yeah right, too expensive. Plus, too stationary. Plus, too centralized. I have a feeling that a central location for a large fan base would be detrimental. His high noodliness is everywhere. We don’t want to give the feeling that he’s just in one place.
–Work on creating the FSM Non-for-profit? You probably won’t want to be doing the FSM stuff your whole life (the go-buy-a-boat thing seems kind of a sign of burnout), and a FSM non-profit would be a great way to turn over the protection of Pastafarian interests, and the needs for maintenance of the website and community, to a reliable group. You’d have to establish some by-laws and purposes explicitly, but there needs to be some kind of heir to your position as religious leader should the religion continue. Less work for you.
–FSM/anti-creationism-in-schools feature-length movies? *drools* It could be great, but I couldn’t say it’ll pay foritself in sales. Unlike a CD, physical ownership barely counts for anything these days with movies, and there are only meager means of paid online distribution. Not to say that’s any reason not to do them, but one needs to be clear ahead of time that long indie movies involve lots of effort, are risky endeavor success-wise, and don’t make lots of money.
–Pastafarian study-group material.
–Pizza! Lots and lots of pizza, mysteriously, anonymously distributed to college students, with pasta on the side, and in big, black marker on the pasta boxes a messy sketch of his noodliness and FSM written and underlined below. Or, instead of anonymously, have a “FSM free pizza sign-up sheet.” in the middle of campuses. We’d already have about 10,000 potential converts by the time the money runs out.
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@ Shorleen Sharleneson,
You are forgetting the most Obvious thing of all…
We are pirates, pirates need boats.
Ramen
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I have’nt looked in on the site for a week or so, and now your talking about a procuring a pirate ship! That a f***ing brilliant idea! I’m a qualified to skipper a sailing vessel up to 50m (RYA Yachtmaster),have Ks of ocean miles and will gladly offer my services.
I definitely vote for the baltic trader. Fits more pirates. Square sails = advertising space, perfect for spreading the message. Yarr! Yarr! Yarr! crack out the rum!
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Just tried the live chat but only getting “Error 404 – Not Found
Perhaps the Flying Spaghetti Monster has hidden what you’re looking for.”
My FSM, My FSM. Why have you forsaken me?
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It’s being upgraded Sirius…bigger and better
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@ Wench Nickkiee
Oh! thats alright then. I feel much better now that I know that I probably havent been forsaken!
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Shorleen –
Instead of commissioning musicians/artists for PR purposes, I suggest holding contests. The best 10 entries will be used (free) to raise money, the winner gets to sign on for a stint on the Baltic Trader (which we can then afford).
Someone needs to design the Good Ship FSM flag and figurehead as well. Oh, and I’m an experienced sailor and good cook, so count me in …
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To Cinekat… we’ll be sharing the galley, then — I’m going to be part-time cook, too!
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I’m fairly sure that the pirate fish design is going to be used as the flag, yes?
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@ pieces of h8
“Why not just steal the ship? That would make it a pirate ship by default. ”
You took the words right out of my mouty. seeing the growing number of pastafarians, I’d recommend something big. like an aircraft carrier. I’m sure there’s plenty of those knocking around. Enough so that no-one will notice if one goes missing.
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another point. Why not go on lecture tours of the country to raise money. I’m sure people would pay to ocme meet you, and learn more about pastafarianism.
After all, I’m paying 10 bucks to go see the world premier screening of pure pwnage season 2, episode 1, (www.purepwnage.com) so, with pastafarians, you could probally charge more, if you got a free beer with the ticket or something.
Heh. just aa suggestion. Of course, you could also pray that sales of FSM stuff will skyrocket, but that might be a bit harder..
Sorry about my spelling By the way, I’m tired.
In my previous post I said ‘mouty’, i meant ‘mouth’
Gah.
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Bugger. Come*
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Good to see everyone doing their part to stop global warming by becoming pirates
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Would selling your house and living on the ship be too crazy to happen? There are plenty of people who do that in retirement and such. Once at sea, you could sell FMS products (and perhaps other stuff as well) in order to pay for the upkeep of the ship and its passengers. It seems plausible to me. Pulling up into a tourist beach town in a pirate-ish ship will attract a lot of attention, and plenty of them will be looking for a tacky souvenir.
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@Shorleen Sharleneson Mar 22nd, 2007 at 3:47 pm “Buying a boat seems like a bad idea – really, let’s say we save up hundreds of dollars by scrounging up the last of the possible fund-raising.”
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From the viewpoint of pure rational thinking, you’re absolutely right. From a (A, not THE!) Pastafarian viewpoint, you should look for another type of movement to sustain. No offense meant, but one of the typical aspects of CoFSM is this special mix of rationality, wit and silly humour. Which makes that things, dreamt up in a (sometimes) silly mood, can come true, if enough other Pastafarians are touched by the idea. It is also this aspect that puts off fundies, whose total lack of wit and humour is notorious, as are their bad grammar and worse spelling. Maybe the ship is a silly idea. Maybe the ship will be sailing in all its glory within a year, and be the big event of 2008, overshadowing whatever result comes forth of the US elections! Don’t misunderestimate the FSM!
RAmen!
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First of all: WE SHOULD HAVE A BOAT!
This idea is simply to great to be abandoned. Alone the attention would be worth the money.
I think we could get a little business running by buying a small boat first, using it for cruises, renting it out etc. This money could then be spent on an even bigger boat!
Concerning using the money on commercials etc., I really think much of this stuff could be done by volunteers. There are so many Pastafarians out there, some of them must be able to design posters, do songs and so forth. Perhaps Bobby should put a call out there for pastafarians to promote the faith?
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What you got to do is get a ship in mind then have naming rights for various parts of the ship. Sell the main deck for $10,000 a bench on the ship for $500. You can also sell the name of the ship for $1,000,000. Or what ever value you think would be good for each part. once you get the funds and the ship buy plaques for each area with a picture of the person announcing that part of the ship is named after him.
So what we would have is the “Bobby Henderson FSM pirate ship” the “Nate Bryant Main Deck” the “Brett Trembly Stateroom” the “Eric Smith Galley” ect. This is a very easy way to raise money for any big project. We can even do corporate sponsorships the “Nissan Noodle Ship” or what ever.
Also have different levels of sponsorships that aren’t big enough for the various areas of the ship. So a $100 donation gets you a bronze circle, $500 silver circle and $1000 the gold circle (or what ever you want to name it) and have a giant plaque a the entrance to the ship with all the names of the people who donated enough to make it.
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No offence to anyone, but we ARE pirates, are we not? So, why not get a smaller boat to begin with, and just “borrow” stuff until we can afford a bigger boat? I would gladly work on the boat during the summer, but I am just a student, and have no money to donate, unfortunately.
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Haha nice
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A@dam Reimer Mar 29th, 2007 at 11:33 pm
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“Haha nice”
.It’s all nioce….which bit???
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err..nice even :)
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I’m fairly disappointed at this conception, though pirates and thus pirates boats are surely divine messengers and avatars I must remind you all of our noodliness’ wishes.
”
6. I’d really rather you didn’t build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
1. Ending poverty
2. Curing diseases
3. Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.
”
Isn’t buying a pirate boat exactly the same as building a church/temple/shrine? Although the boat could perhaps be used to help end poverty, cure disease, live in peace, love with passion, or lower the cost of cable, there seem more efficient ways to do this with the amount of money involved.
Just something to keep in mind.
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This boat rocks!! It’s a hotter version of a pirate ship =] xx
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buy a cheap john boat
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that ship, is crap
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While it is true that the FSM decrees that we not waste money on trying to convert others, he did not say that we shouldn’t buy a wikid sik pirate ship and have loads of fun, connect the followers ect.
I am an Australian and I’m thinking that it would be great to sail that thing over here so i can go for a spin.
I have also taken a trip on the Young Endeavour (google it) and i think the advantages of sail training to pastafarians would be great.
Possibly an online register of volunteer crew with nearest coastal city and avaliable weeks would be a good idea. I personally liked that baltic trader but it is really at the Prophet Bob’s discression.
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@ pyrette
another aussie… awesome, you should go on live chat some time.
as for the ship, we’re hoping for ne that actually looks piratey.
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@ angryyoungatheist
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We did try to negotiate for a second-hand Soviet battleship last year. A poster called Pokk was going to sort us out but I think the CIA got wind of the operation :(
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a FSM vessal has to have two qualities.
1. No electric motor. must have little or no new technolgies on it. If the pirates could sail without GPS’s then s can we.
2. a crew. how can you get at least 13 pastafrains together?
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Don’t forget weapons.
Can’t pillage without heavy artillery!
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Must have a yellow and purple cannon!
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@ Lord of the pirate fish;
i already said “Possibly an online register of volunteer crew with nearest coastal city and avaliable weeks”
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“If I am right, then will not go to Heaven, because there is no Heaven. If they are right, then they will not go to Heaven, because they are hypocrites.” – Isaac Asimov
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“Must have a yellow and purple cannon!”
Green too :) You can eat them as well because they’re non-toxic if made by Crayola!
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Those flowers are really pretty.
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I like flowers! What are they? Morning Glory?
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Afternoon Glorys I think.
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Can I fire the cannon? Pleeeeeeease.
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Aristotle, God of Satire Aug 11th, 2007 at 10:26 am
Can I fire the cannon? Pleeeeeeease.
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Don’t see why not :) I’ve got first bagsies on the Cruise Missiles though!
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Afternoon Glorys? Is that when they wilt a bit :P
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Wait! I remembered!
They is Glory Holes!
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