Do you guys like this boat?
(you can’t really tell, but I crossed out the name of the boat, and wrote “church of the fsm”)
(note - in picture 2, there used to be a lady standing on the deck, but I photoshopped her out. You can still sort of see her legs if you look closely)
It’s not a pirate boat. But here’s the thing: it’s also not $2 million. This one’s a Tayana 37. The one pictured isn’t for sale, but they run about $100k, which we could probably handle *right now*.
The official FSM church missionary pirate boat IS going to happen, it’s just a matter of to what degree you want. I want to get everyone’s opinion on this. Wait until we can afford a “real” pirate ship, or get something smaller and start now? The Church makes nowhere near the amount of cash to get a millions-of-dollars boat anytime soon, if ever. The funds now are all coming from the t-shirts, car emblems, and book sales, and they’ve about leveled off. However, we do have a licensing arrangement, and there are some tv interests. That could mean some more cash for the pirate-boat-fund.
And there’s the option of fund-raising, but I’m guessing that people would be apprehensive paying into a fund like this (I would be). And are there that many seriously interested people who would pay $1k or more for a share of a pirate boat? I sort of wonder.
Maybe we could purchase a working boat, like a Baltic Trader (it’s sort of piratey), one of those ships that moves cargo from island to island in the tropics.
(baltic trader)
A trading ship would make enough money to keep it going (boats are crazy-expensive to upkeep). By the way, a Baltic Traders can easily go for a million dollars or more.
As for the actual missionary work we’ll be doing, I think it will take place somewhere tropical. Other than that, maybe we’ll just cruise around and wait for inspiration, like Jesus did.
And, as I’m sure there will be no shortage of volunteers, if we get a smaller boat we’ll have to figure out how to arrange the crewing,etc. And also I heard that it’s somewhat complicated to sail and maneuver around islands and other boats and things, so we’ll have to figure out a way to keep from sinking. Like a rule that at least a couple people onboard at anytime know what they’re doing.
Please discuss, I want to hear everyone’s opinions on this.
I believe that if you want to truly honor the FSM then the only proper option is to build your own vessel. It would be cheaper than an authentic one, and can be built to whatever specifications would be required. Don’t just buy one that will “suffice”, pay Him a true homage and build one in his name.
theres a group of people that have built and sail a replica of the Nina, of columbus history. i think last time they sailed into town for the week they said it was built in south america, and they are working on another for the fleet. in the winter months, it sails in the caribbean.
building a boat, especially one like this is super expensive, and possibly untrustworthy. but the prospect of getting out there excites me, and I’d like to offer up my services as a full time bosun. Already have the whistle!
I like the look of the trading one, much more piratey, but as I get seasick in the bath I have volunteered to man (wench) the harbour bar.
I work for the NHS *insert hollow laugh here* so don’t have any spare money to put towards the fund :( Sorry :(
LONG AND TEDIOUS POST WARNING enjoy ;p
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Personally, I’d say go with the trader first. It’s all very well to say build your own, but it will cost money… more money than you have.
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Trying to save for something like this will be nigh on impossible if your sole income source for this is FSM paraphenalia.
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Likewise, getting a bank loan for a vessel that has no particular purpose (as far as a bank would be concerned, my own views differ somewhat) would be either
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a) immensely difficult,
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b) prohibtively expensive
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c) both
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By comparison, buying a trader is a business investment. Business investment is easily explained, has a lower danger of failing to recoup investment than charity, and will also provide funds enough to survive on for the forseeable future.
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Consider;
Trading between islands, (self explanatory really)
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Working cruises, where for a small fee, a potential sailor works on the ship for a month etc (this system is commonly used on replica ships here in Oz)
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Leisure cruises, where for a large fee, the person enjoys heaven on earth (who wouldn’t want to sail with a bunch of roguish pirates and crafty wenches though beautiful tropical waters, discussing the finer points of philosphy, theology, beer and the art of making a really good marinara?).
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Theatre; special guest appearences of the pirates, staging an annual raid on, say, Miami, would make a great tourist attraction for the city, leading to possible government investment, or at the very least, greater public awareness.
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After that, it gets a bit fiddly, but think also of novelty weddings, collaboration with atheist/secular societies for events, etc.
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With sufficient self promotion, and a little bit of noodley loving, you would earn enough to buy a fleet within a few years, and have a corporate empire within a decade.
well, I’d go with the smaller version first, and if it is successful we can just buy a bigger one later on
but for now, the small one will do imo
btw if you need a unexperienced german born sailor that has no clue what the hell he is doing i’ll volunteer hehe
Why not just steal the ship? That would make it a pirate ship by default.
Other churches have built their empires through tithing… maybe all of these bilge rats who claim to be Pastafarians can start ponying up the dough to get this church out to sea!
Of course we need to get the church tax shelter in place first… how’s that going?
I’d love to sail on that trader boat. Scooter has a point, first get official status as a church, so every donated penny is going to the boat and not to the state.
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I’m no use as a sailor though, i don’t get seasick but I am afraid of heights (so no climbing for me) So I’ll just wench the bar with Booty.
I like both boats, but I think the trader may be a better first option. We should find out how many people those things can hold.
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Also, I volunteer to help sail whatever boat we end up with. I sort of know what I’m doing…
Wow Jingles!! I thought you were doing something strange at uni I can’t even begin to understand, not business studies! ;)
Good ideas though - As long as you buy a quayside pub for me and RDPK to run for after pillaging refreshments.
This is a great start, we should get it for now!
I kinda know what I’m doing. I’m definitely not being the cabin-boy or whatever you call it.
I’ll man the whell, I always was a good helmsman!
The only experience I have is with sunfish and a 22 footer, these are probably a lot different, oh well.
RAmen
I like the tradeship… it looks very piratey. The only boats I am really familiar with have motors… I’ve not really sailed before. But I have some weird extended family out in Toronto that run a sailing business. Not totally sure how it works, but they make the ship (or possibly just fix it up, not sure) and then sail it to it’s destination. Last summer my Dad went out there, and they took a boat from Ontario down to North Carolina, where they buyer was… and he learnt how to sail and everything. So, if we are short on crew members, I could always go and learn from Nan. (I think that’s her name… never met her myself.)
Aaaarrrr, ye swarthy landlubbers!
Sorry, just had to let that out. When I first saw the boat proposal last year, I thought you were off your trolley (to use an NHS term). But then most of us thought the same thing when we saw your open letter..and that kind of worked.
If this isn’t going to be seen simply as “Bobby’s crafty plan to get his own yacht”, you’ll need to keep the focus on FSM-ism. Or against ID. Whatever.
So how about using the boat for “educational” cruises? Sail into port, raid the local taverns for grog, pick up a few wenches and make the locals walk the plank while you take their booty? That’ll teach them the virtues of keeping a lookout. And, erm, make them think about pirates and that.
And it’s self-financing.
May His Noodliness go with you always.
Oh and btw:
My vote’s for the baltic trader, hell of a nice ship.
RAmen
The baltic trader is the better option, mainly for hold space and accomodation. plus the ability to hold better parties (sermons) however there are some considerations you need to remember:
it needs more crew with experience
takes a LOT of looking after
berths can be expensive and larger berths = more expensive
If we’re looking for crew can i submit a CV? I really can navigate!
I think that jingles had a very good point there, that model could be used to provide the funds for the ship and its crew (lets face it the crew no matter how piratey needs to eat) Plus what about insurance? if a crew member who doesnt know what theyre doing crews up the boat or it sinks or whatever serious $$$ might be needed to fix it. Plus insurance helps alot if your going to be trading or anything like that, it gives you sort of a businessy apperance not a we’re-just-random-guys-doing-this-for-fun look. If youre going to be trading in tropical islands lool out for real modern day pirates too, we should carry a supply of arms with at least one person qualified to teach how to properly aim them, shoot the, safety etc, i would qualify for that and navigation :)
Excuse ME Mr Farty - but I am my *own* Booty, thank you very much!
Leave me out of it! ;)
Besides, I am going to be busy drinking, I mean, running the bar. :D
@ Nav Spider
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“If we’re looking for crew can i submit a CV? I really can navigate!”
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Glad you can. I couldn’t find my arse with both hands! :) Still have to go “Never Eat Shreaded Wheat” to remember the compass!