Why are you doing this?

Mr Henderson,
Why are you doing this? I stumbled on this sight last nite! What the FUCK! WHY????? You mite want to go to hell but why do you need to take psople with you?????
I hope you are beeing payed well!!
I and my friends think this is dangerus, do you no what you are doing? I pray you you do!!!!!!!

[note from Bobby- I think this one may be fake. What do you guys think?]

280 Responses to “Why are you doing this?”


  1. 1 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 16th, 2007 at 10:01 pm

    Arrrrr…..
    .
    Someone’s beeing payed?

  2. 2 Rowdy Wench Mar 16th, 2007 at 10:04 pm

    @ BCA and Bobby - there does seem to be an unusual pattern of grammar and spelling mistakes in this one. And no name at the bottom…conspiracy to start a new thread? Hmmm….won’t matter, we’ll corrupt it anyway! ;) RAmen!

    Is there a special prize for being the first to post on a new thread? RAmen to BCA and special “touching”! :)

  3. 3 Batman Mar 16th, 2007 at 10:10 pm

    Huh.
    .
    Prior to spending some time looking into this site and others, I would assume it was faked. Nobody can be that ridiculous. Yet, really… the spelling on some of the other sites I have looked at is just as bad, and they’re definitely not trying to be ironic. I can’t tell anymore.

  4. 4 Kaptain Jimmy Mar 16th, 2007 at 10:20 pm

    Its hard 2 say.
    ’s’ is very klose 2 ‘e’ on the keyboard.

  5. 5 bill Mar 16th, 2007 at 10:21 pm

    Hey Bobby,
    I’m not sure any of them are real. Most seem a little stupider than anyone could believe possible. But recently I’ve begun to question my judgment on such matters. I met someone who seemed stupider than I imagined possible. But we do need stimulation and so maybe this is provided to us by a comrade who rises to the occasion. If so, thanks. If this is a real letter from a co-resident on our planet Earth, thanks too. You help to explain the existence of wars.

  6. 6 Rowdy Wench Mar 16th, 2007 at 10:39 pm

    @ bill - the last sentence of your post got me! I actually snorted! Embarrassing but true. The sad part is, you are so very much correct that it shouldn’t be funny. And, at one point Alchemist suggested that we Pastafarians post hate mail so we can have new threads to corrupt…could be that’s what is happening here.

    @ Batman - I’ve posted before that I can’t tell the difference. I really don’t know…

  7. 7 Wench Beth Mar 16th, 2007 at 10:52 pm

    Is Bobby really taking us to Hell, as the hate-mailer suggested? Cool! When do we leave? Did Bobby hire a private jet or are we traveling on a pirate ship (either way is great with me)? I speak Norwegian (well, I try) so I can be the translator when we arrive. Awesome! I am looking forward to this trip!

  8. 8 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 16th, 2007 at 10:52 pm

    Arrr…..
    .
    Tis not only cream that rises to the top……so does a hefty turd like this poster
    .
    RAmen
    .
    P.S. Careful, RW……me special touches can be of severe danger.

  9. 9 Rowdy Wench Mar 16th, 2007 at 11:05 pm

    @ BCA - Wahahaha! RAmen!

  10. 10 Booty Mar 17th, 2007 at 4:06 am

    Sounds pretty fake to me - and no threats of oars - poor attempt!
    Still, what the heck!
    Are you getting low on the old hate mail then, Bobby?
    Maybe you need to write a new book - the Xians get 2 you know!
    I am sure we could have GoFSM - the sequel! Let’s have some revelations!
    I want to go the Cayman Islands Hell - not Norway!
    I am sure we had a vote! ;)

  11. 11 CK Mar 17th, 2007 at 6:24 am

    The “do you no what you are doing?” leads me to believe that this is real. That’s the part that make me chuckle the most.

  12. 12 Alchemist Mar 17th, 2007 at 6:57 am

    @Bearded Clam Admirer.
    .
    :) I just love your name! Really. Every time I see it I grin. I’m guessing you were in the muff diving club at Uni?
    .
    @ Booty - yeah! Still, quick loading thread to abuse - I don’t remember the last time I read the original post - or replied to it (probably Dr Michael Martin’s attempt to kill my non-existent wife or TLM - still kinda miss TLM, HungerfordDaddy is a poor substitute, still, any port in a storm, what!) :)

  13. 13 ihatemyspace Mar 17th, 2007 at 8:14 am

    This guy is either a good faker or really stupid and completely sincere.

  14. 14 Booty Mar 17th, 2007 at 8:17 am

    @ Alchemist - morning! When are you off trolling?
    Ah Dr Martin - I wonder if he would sort out a contract on my mother…that would be really useful, if he just does wives I am sure I can talk my dad into it ;)

  15. 15 Red DutchPasta Kidd Mar 17th, 2007 at 8:18 am

    Well, if it’s real: Why ARE we doing this?
    1) Because it’s fun
    2) Because I like meeting nice, intelligent people who can actually use their brains
    3) Because it’s also fun to read the pathetic mails of those that do not meet the criteria in 2)
    4) Because it helped me a lot to formulate some of my own ideas on gods, believers, evolution, education, science etc etc
    5) Because it really is an awful lot of fun.
    *
    But it very well might be fake, the mis-spelling is just a little to consistent, the tone isn’t quite what i’ve seen before.. But you can never tell, there might actually be someone that dumb out there.

  16. 16 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 17th, 2007 at 8:22 am

    Arrr…..
    .
    Tis no club from me past…
    .
    tis me passion
    .
    RAmen

  17. 17 Alchemist Mar 17th, 2007 at 9:23 am

    Booty
    :) Whenever. I’ve just popped over to ITPoG for a little - feeling a bit guilty there, they seem like nice people - might calm it for a bit. Nazi.org is a different matter however - do you think we could increase the abortion time-limit for some groups (say, ooh, 2080 weeks!)
    .
    The Aussies will be in bed now (0115 for them) and the USAians will just be getting up - I was thinking of a 1800EST kick off (0800 - downunder time - 2200 GMT) but I’m up for mayhem now if you like :)
    .
    The Rugby is on just after 1700GMT - so I’ll be occupied then (unless Wales look like winning - then I’ll pretend I don’t like rugby)
    After the drubbing we received from the Kiwi’s in the Cricket World Cup I’m praying to Eris, Harmonia and Concordia for SOMETHING to celebrate :) - though not sure gods and goddesses of chaos are likely to help out - maybe Nemesis is worth a try :). I do know that Jebus can’t play rugby ‘cos he’s only got twelve men and he’s got holes in his hands - he can’t be a touch judge either ‘cos his arms point both ways :)
    .
    Shit - if there really is a bod then I’ve got some explaining to do :)
    .
    .
    @ Bearded Clam Admirer (can’t abbreviate your name - too funny - wish I’d thought of it)
    Do you use a snorkel or are you au naturel (?sp) - It is a vocation though! It’s for life folks! Not just for Xmas.

  18. 18 Batman Mar 17th, 2007 at 10:14 am

    @Alchemist
    Erm, sorry… haven’t really looked into the Nazi site. WHAT is that about abortion? Are they being pissants?

  19. 19 Alchemist Mar 17th, 2007 at 10:26 am

    Batman - naah - one of mine - was my, albeit gross, attempt to say we, as a people, should be able to abort 40 year olds (not one of my best ones I admit)
    .
    The Reich site isn’t nice Batman - people called ZyclonB are probably not the type to invite to your mums for tea! ooooh - rhymes :

  20. 20 Batman Mar 17th, 2007 at 10:39 am

    @Alchemist
    ha ha ha ha… ah, poetry. Is that how you get all those sheep to fall for you? By reciting your original verses? You’s so fun…
    .
    Hey, speaking of abortion (well, sort of) did you see that thing on TV (forget the name of the show) where a woman had been pregnant, but the baby was developing OUTSIDE the womb? The doctors in India (I think that’s where) didn’t have the technology to safely operate and remove the baby, and the woman was scared of dying, so she never had the surgery at all. She walked around for a ridiculous amount of time (maybe ten years, maybe more) with this fetus in her… dead of course. So finally she got it removed, and they showed it on TV… it was a perfect little calcified baby… bizarre. And, I’m sure I’ve now totally grossed you out. So we’re even. =)

  21. 21 Alchemist Mar 17th, 2007 at 10:57 am

    @ Batman - I did indeed see it! I also remember a programme (Horizon I think) where some loony-toons ate a tape-worm cyst to see how long it would grow in X amount of weeks - eek!
    And one where this woman got into a shower full of men and…….ooops, wrong site. That was for “hot soapy babes with big bobbs(as NotWellHungDaddy would say)
    .
    I’ll have you know that I’m extremely artistic! I play my horn like Yehudi Menuhin tickles his strings! (that’s why I need glasses) and my “Concerto in Y# minor for Cattle Bell” is legend!
    .
    (the sheep proposition me - I can’t help it if I attract animals - must be those bloody pheromones I bought from “www.SadLoserWhoNeedsAShag.net” (bargin :)) )

  22. 22 Batman Mar 17th, 2007 at 11:06 am

    @Alchemist
    *snicker… do they sell pheromones for women? The ones I purchased from “www.doormat.org” only seem to attract assholes.
    .
    You should hear my rendition of Amazing Grace on the kazoo. It’s inspiring. Also do a great Britney Spears “Hit Me Baby One More Time” impression.
    .
    Tapeworms are the grossest things in the world. Ick.

  23. 23 Alchemist Mar 17th, 2007 at 11:32 am

    @Batman
    You’re going to the wrong site! “www.doormat.org” is a phallocentric site. Their aims are to re-subjugate the female back into the kitchen! They believe that you should be naked, tied to the cooker and pregnant!
    .
    You’ve probably been sold “WalkOverMeAndTreatMeLikeASecondClassCitizen” the swines! - throw it out!
    .
    I’d recommend “www.ShagMeSenseless.com” and “www.SatisfyMeYouBastard!.org” or even “You’reNotComingUntilIDo.net” - good sites!

    eeeeek - kick off!

  24. 24 LordoftheChance Mar 17th, 2007 at 11:42 am

    Re: Calcified baby. It was in Morrocco and the fetus had been hanging around for 40 years (or was it indeed good ole 40 days and nights as some space cadet time travellers would have us believe…)
    Anyway the lady in question was in protracted labour but got so scared at the hospital she did a runner. Despite a week or so of agonising cramps, she didn’t seek medical help further and then the pains stopped…
    40 years later she began having health problems and her son finally opersuaded her to visit a clinic, where an X-ray was taken and the ?tumour ?fiboid ?cyst ?etc was removed and revealed to be the calcified fetus of 4 decades back. The body would have treated the corpse as an invader and sealed a calcite capsule around it to protect the body from decay organisms etc.
    I know I’ve seen a bit on a site about this: try LiveLeak or Snopes - its almost sure to be one of them.

  25. 25 Batman Mar 17th, 2007 at 11:50 am

    @Alchemist
    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA… oh no, I almost just wet my pants reading your post. I’ll definitely look into those sites you mentioned… sounds like just what I need. =)
    .
    Seriously, you’re the best. I love you a little bit right now.
    .
    @Lord of the Chance
    Holy carp… 40 years????? That is terrible. That poor woman. Did she have her son before or after this happened? Sorry, I know, I could probably look this up myself. I only saw parts of it on TV… I have a weak stomach and kept switching channels when it got really graphic.

  26. 26 Wench Nikkiee Mar 17th, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    Hi Batman :)
    “I can’t tell anymore.”
    .
    I remember posting almost those exact words a while back after being a CoFSM visitor for a few months. It certainly does get hard to tell the difference.
    RAmen

  27. 27 Wench Nikkiee Mar 17th, 2007 at 12:57 pm

    @Alchemist Mar 17th, 2007 at 10:57 am
    “the sheep proposition me - I can’t help it if I attract animals”
    .
    Hi Alchemist :)
    hahahaahahaha
    .
    Looks like you have competition. Those sheep have been getting very popular recently, with seemingly everyone coming out of the closet and lusting after them. ;)
    .
    http://richarddawkins.net/article,727,Remote-sheep-population-resists-genetic-drift,The-University-of-Alberta#25500

  28. 28 Batman Mar 17th, 2007 at 1:17 pm

    @Wench Nikkiee
    YAY!! You’re back!! I keep missing your posts!! How’s it going??? Anything new and exciting?

  29. 29 Wench Nikkiee Mar 17th, 2007 at 1:41 pm

    @Batman
    “Anything new and exciting?”
    .
    Umm…define “new and exciting” Batman. Does reading research papers count?
    Blaagh…..!!! Just catching up on Dawkins site at the moment. Always some new interesting articles posted there. Back around in a little while :)

  30. 30 Batman Mar 17th, 2007 at 1:48 pm

    @Wench Nikkiee
    Weeeelll… I guess for some reading research papers might be exciting. =( Can’t really say. Glad you’re doing well, anyways. =) Cheers! See you when you’re back!

  31. 31 Singe Mar 17th, 2007 at 5:53 pm

    This looks too poorly thought-out to be fake. It’s likely just the poster is around age 10 or so.

  32. 32 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 17th, 2007 at 6:09 pm

    Arrrrrrr…
    .
    Me turd in the bilge wrote this letter….
    .
    RAmen

  33. 33 UltimateLordOfDarkness Mar 17th, 2007 at 9:45 pm

    Dear sir,
    You must not yet have been touched by His noodly appendages. I am certain that within time He will reveal himself to you and you will join the cause. In the meantime I suggest you take a short break from learning ID in school and go back to basic grammar

  34. 34 Wench Beth Mar 17th, 2007 at 9:55 pm

    To the UltimateLordOfDarkness… RAmen to that!!!

  35. 35 Dominic Mar 18th, 2007 at 8:28 am

    As I was explaining to some colleagues in a debate the other day, the fundies are so far beyond parody that its becoming increasingly hard to tell the real lunacy from the fake lunacy - the sites “Fundies say the darndest things” and “Conservapedia” being cases in point.
    There’s a Dilbert cartoon where Dogbert is explaining to Dilbert that from now on he can’t be bothered to debate with idiots, instead he’s just going to wave his paw and say “Bah”

    So Bah to hate mail past, present and future.

  36. 36 Alchemist Mar 18th, 2007 at 9:03 am

    @Dominic
    .
    “…..and “Conservapedia” being cases in point.”
    .
    now that is hilarious! It’s a classic;
    http://www.conservapedia.com/Main_Page
    .
    “Minors under 16 years use this site. Posting of obscenity here is punishable by up to 10 years in jail under 18 USC § 1470. Vandalism is punishable up to 10 years in jail per 18 USC § 1030. We will trace your IP address and give it to authorities if necessary.”
    .
    hahahaha - you want to bet!
    .
    Dominic - don’t forget to check mypraize out
    http://www.mypraize.com/
    .
    The xtian alternative to myspace - extremely funny - check some of the dating ones :)

  37. 37 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 18th, 2007 at 9:05 am

    Arrrr….
    .
    Xtians date?

  38. 38 Alchemist Mar 18th, 2007 at 9:37 am

    @The Black Belt of Muff Diving With An Excellent Name
    .
    “…..Xtians date?”
    I suspect they fake it! Bod doesn’t want us to be happy :( I’m pretty sure Clintonsex is against the law) Never swallow the stuff xtians come up with :))

  39. 39 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 18th, 2007 at 10:49 am

    Arrr…
    .
    Be there any truth to the myth Baptists don’t have relations whilst standing, because it may lead to dancing?
    .
    RAmen

  40. 40 Alchemist Mar 18th, 2007 at 11:04 am

    @ Bearded Clam Admirer
    .
    Not sure about that one! I did hear that Catlicks use a tin box for safe sex.
    They fill a biscuit (cookie) box with pebbles. The bloke stands on it! When the box rattles the woman kicks it away!

  41. 41 Wench Beth Mar 18th, 2007 at 11:05 am

    Christians date, all right. They violate all the laws their Bible and their God set down for them — then they claim “God brought us together”.
    .
    Oh, pleeeeeeez.

  42. 42 Dominic Mar 18th, 2007 at 12:12 pm

    @Alchemist - that really had me chuckling, sadly you have to register in order to browse the lunatics and that went against the grain.

    Its a bit chilling though to realise that these people selectively breed.

    In the second of the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy Books, Arthur and Ford Prefect arrive on a planet that has been populated by all the people that another planet (Golgafrincham) had no use for who sent them off in a rocket promising to follow - this planet they discover is the Earth.
    Its a theory that has some merit when we consider some of the fuckwits that inhabit the place. I wonder if a whip around to build a similar rocket would gain any momentum ?

  43. 43 Alchemist Mar 18th, 2007 at 12:21 pm

    Dominic - check out OperaTor - google for it - hides your IP and bounces you over at least 10 proxy servers.
    Or http://www.hidemyass.com/
    .
    you can have fun then :)

  44. 44 God? Pasta? what has more letters? Mar 19th, 2007 at 7:04 am

    i wish people who write hate mail could spell… it would make the mail harder to argue back at, but now all i have to do is say, “If you can’t spell people or dangerous, DON’T say that people are in danger!! Idiot.”

  45. 45 Linguini Lass Mar 19th, 2007 at 11:02 am

    Arrrrrr…….
    Fake posters and anyone using too many exclamation points should be forced to walk the plank at sword point, the scurvy dogs.

    To BCA - how do you feel about unbearded clams? :-}
    RAmen

  46. 46 Linguini Lass Mar 19th, 2007 at 11:02 am

    Arrrrrr…….
    Fake posters and anyone using too many exclamation points should be forced to walk the plank at sword point, the scurvy dogs.

    To BCA - how do you feel about unbearded clams? :-}
    RAmen

  47. 47 Linguini Lass Mar 19th, 2007 at 11:02 am

    Arrrrrr…….
    Fake posters and anyone using too many exclamation points should be forced to walk the plank at sword point, the scurvy dogs.

    To BCA - how do you feel about unbearded clams? :-}
    RAmen

  48. 48 Linguini Lass Mar 19th, 2007 at 11:07 am

    Oops….sorry. Hope triple posters (accident - didn’t mean it) don’t have to walk the plank.
    RAmen

  49. 49 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 19th, 2007 at 9:07 pm

    @LL
    .
    Would ye be interested in me own noodly appendage?
    .
    …All in good fun
    .
    RAmen

  50. 50 MSG Mar 19th, 2007 at 9:56 pm

    You humble ignorant plebes -

    I stumbled on this site by accident and I don’t appreciate your lumping all noodles in the same category.

    I am RAMEN - sophisticated Oriental Noodles - not some dago rigatony or some stinky vermincelli.

    I am channeled through my earth bound MSG (Man substituting for God) and I don’t need to be put in hot water for more than three minutes.

    What the hell is wrong with you?

    Use your noodle -

    I AM RAMEN!

    RAMEN has spoken.
    (pay no attention to the man behind the curtain)

  51. 51 MSG Mar 19th, 2007 at 9:58 pm

    You humble ignorant plebes -

    I stumbled on this site by accident and I don’t appreciate your lumping all noodles in the same category.

    I am RAMEN - sophisticated Oriental Noodles - not some dago rigatony or some stinky vermincelli.

    I am channeled through my earth bound MSG (Man substituting for God) and I don’t need to be put in hot water for more than three minutes.

    What the hell is wrong with you?

    Use your noodle -

    I AM RAMEN!

    RAMEN has spoken.
    (pay no attention to the man behind the curtain)

  52. 52 lab_rat Mar 20th, 2007 at 12:59 am

    Check this out:
    http://forums.mercurynews.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=mn-politics&msg=54.1&maxT=12

    It is a link to a discussion board from the San Jose newspaper.

    Idiots are real.

    Context: San Jose has 2 “card clubs”, no actual casinos.

  53. 53 lab_rat Mar 20th, 2007 at 12:59 am

    Oh, and I directed the guy here, to give us some entertainment!!

    RAmen

  54. 54 Red DutchPasta Kidd Mar 20th, 2007 at 5:20 am

    I read them, what a dork. A born-again christian who spouts slogans and hasn’t even read the bible yet! Is he for real?
    He should be able to give us some fun, if he dares to come.

  55. 55 The First Midgit Mar 20th, 2007 at 6:01 am

    Greetings all, new to the CoFSM but been a fan for a while.

    @lab_rat - enjoyed your posts about the gambling - poor guy seemed actually quite nice and didn’t CAPSLOCK, tell you to f@*& yourself or gloat that you are going to burn in hell. Seemed genuinely concerned that you weren’t a staring-eyed fixed smile saved believer. He did have some silly ideas though.

    Look forward to open minded discussion

  56. 56 Booty Mar 20th, 2007 at 6:07 am

    Hi FM!
    Wow! truly we are blessed to have you here ;)
    openminded discussions - hmmm, not sure about that! - fun and bickering we can do ;)

  57. 57 The First Midgit Mar 20th, 2007 at 6:26 am

    No problem with bickering. Fun seems ok too.

  58. 58 St John the Blasphemist Mar 20th, 2007 at 6:32 am

    Hey MSG
    .
    It looks as though that Chinese Restaurant Syndrome you’re suffering from has really taken its toll. Not only are you talking shit, but you’re doing it twice as much.
    .
    St John the Blasphemist
    Saint of Vietnamese Cuisine

  59. 59 St John the Blasphemist Mar 20th, 2007 at 6:36 am

    Oh and I agree on the possibile fakeness of this message, due to the precision of the spelling & grammatical errors.
    .
    St John the Blasphemist
    Saint of the classic “I’m Not Even Going To Comment On That” Comment.

  60. 60 The First Midgit Mar 20th, 2007 at 7:16 am

    True St John, your average fundie would be frothing and raging so hard that a holy mist descends and prevents grammar usage or the means to employ a spell checker. They are trying to save our immortal souls however so a small amount of gratitude is in order, yes no?

    The First Midgit
    Third most important after trees and mountains.

  61. 61 The First Midgit Mar 20th, 2007 at 9:37 am

    Hmmm, found a particularly hate-filled site, quite articulate, though would seem to get on with many far right sites. Religion and oppression seem to go hand in hand.

    http://www.godhatesfags.com

    It is really very nasty and its sister sites are no better. I feel I need some beer and pasta to cheer myself up.

    The First Midgit

  62. 62 Alchemist Mar 20th, 2007 at 11:13 am

    Ahhh - Good old Fred Sn - makes me all warm inside! I emailed him once - got a reply from Fred Jn but all my other attempts have bounced since then.
    I read that Fred Sn. is a disbarred US lawyer with a child abuse conviction.

    Westboro’ Baptist Church - ” Toto! I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more!”

  63. 63 Gnocci Man Mar 20th, 2007 at 12:45 pm

    -Here’s an excerpt from a short story I’ve been writing for the FSM Hymnbook (look on the “@$#% you!!!!!!” thread for details on that)
    There is, in fact, a solid reason for the overly corny speech. Trust me on that one.-
    .
    .
    “Excerpts from the Journal of Captain Dita Lisci
    .
    Prologue:
    Journal; On the Good Ship Hyacinth
    It was not a dark and stormy night. It was a dark and stormy day, one that followed a considerably darker and stormier night. The current mood of the good ship Hyacinth’s captain, Mr. Slant Atipo, could also well be described as dark and stormy. At the very least one could call it as grim and fuming, though any who possessed even the slightest measure of intelligence would refrain from doing so to his face.
    The reason for his displeasure was clear enough to anyone not yet deafened by his ranting; a storm had caused the ship’s navigator to lose his place on the map. Cloud cover made stellar navigation impossible, and the storerooms of polished magnetite, a special shipment which would pay off more than three years of accumulated debt, caused the compasses to behave haphazardly at best. His guide ship had been swamped by the storm and sunk, leaving him no reliable source to follow.
    It was a special order, we were sailing to the coast of South Australia where some over-rich eccentric felt the need to study the effects of magnetism on floral growth. Why he wished to do so is knowledge that I am sadly still devoid of; perhaps he believed that he could end world hunger, perhaps he believed that he could create the perfect flower, or perhaps he simply believed that it would give him an air of intellectual mystery. Whatever the reason, he was willing to pay an exorbitant amount to acquire a large shipment of the magnetic mineral magnetite. Our captain complied.
    I was a passenger, on board only for my ability to pay a halfway reasonable sum to reach my destination. I meant to go to a foreign institution to further my education, but where I finally concluded my journey commands much more importance than my original objective. This is my journal, the journal of one swept in the interminable tide of life to serve a purpose higher than any he could have ever imagined. This journal holds the story as best I remember, and the narration I will give carries no dishonesties to make me or others seem anything but what I truthfully believe them to be. My crew is waiting for me down below, so I will continue this work on the morrow.
    RAmen
    —Conrad Dita Lisci,
    —October 16, 1632″
    .
    .
    You are welcome to comment on it, but I probably won’t change anything.
    .
    Remember, it’s not too late to give input for the FSM Hymnbook. Just post it here or on the “@$#% you!!!!!!” thread, and I will find and paste it in.
    RAmen

  64. 64 Mooseman Mar 20th, 2007 at 1:09 pm

    Oh my, Good ol’ Westboro… Takes me back to the days when bar-b-q witches were all rage.
    The post that started this line though, smells fake to me, too contrived in the spelling and not enough rightous anger.

  65. 65 Alchemist Mar 20th, 2007 at 2:07 pm

    Mooseman
    “Oh my, Good ol’ Westboro… Takes me back to the days when bar-b-q witches were all rage.”
    Don’t forget what they used to start the fires - a fagot! From Wikki
    “A faggot or fagot is a bundle of sticks or branches, usually meant for use as firewood.”
    .
    Westboro’ is on the ball with it’s history. Shame for them that world moved on!

  66. 66 Alchemist Mar 20th, 2007 at 2:10 pm

    Shame for them that world moved on!
    .
    That was the Yorkshire spelling - please insert a ‘the’ in the last sentence if you are from a civilised country :)

  67. 67 BlueDreamer Mar 20th, 2007 at 2:36 pm

    Pastafarians are sending fake flame mail to themselves?
    For shame!
    Surely there are more entertaining things to do?
    Perhaps an FSM video game should be made. I’d buy that to prevent my comrades from flaming themselves…

  68. 68 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 20th, 2007 at 6:08 pm

    Arrrr…..
    .
    There be a FSM game already….
    .
    RAmen

  69. 69 Rowdy Wench Mar 20th, 2007 at 7:10 pm

    @ BlueDreamer - Sending fake hate mail to ourselves is a good way to get a new thread started. The older threads get really long and slow. And really, more entertaining things to do? What can be more entertaining than that? :)

  70. 70 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 20th, 2007 at 9:15 pm

    @RW
    .
    Ye be needing a male barkeep?
    .
    Let me know
    .
    RAmen

  71. 71 Rowdy Wench Mar 20th, 2007 at 10:25 pm

    @ BCA - oooh, my own male barkeep! Loving the idea! RAmen for sure!

  72. 72 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 20th, 2007 at 10:27 pm

    @RW
    .
    I be makin’ a mean White Russian….
    .
    Arrrrrrr

  73. 73 Rowdy Wench Mar 20th, 2007 at 10:36 pm

    @ BCA - I’ve never had one of those, but I’m up for anything! I usually go for whiskey/Diet Coke (on my 2nd one currently). Arrrrr to you to! :)

  74. 74 Red DutchPasta Kidd Mar 21st, 2007 at 12:49 am

    Rowdy, don’t be greeedy. The other bar-wenches want some too!

  75. 75 Rowdy Wench Mar 21st, 2007 at 2:58 am

    @ RDPK - No problem! I’m good at sharing! :)

  76. 76 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 21st, 2007 at 9:55 am

  77. 77 Rowdy Wench Mar 21st, 2007 at 11:13 am

    @ BCA - your post is blank… :( Was looking forward to what you had to say!

  78. 78 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 21st, 2007 at 11:22 am

    Arrrr…..
    .
    I fainted

  79. 79 Alchemist Mar 21st, 2007 at 11:56 am

    Told you to wear a snorkel!

  80. 80 Mooseman Mar 21st, 2007 at 1:50 pm

    I have learned the tantric art of breathing through my ears.

  81. 81 Alchemist Mar 21st, 2007 at 2:33 pm

    Now that’s an art worth learning :)

  82. 82 Thumper â„¢ Mar 21st, 2007 at 3:53 pm

    @Alchemist
    Buona Mattina! I’ve been seconded to wash 3 yap yap dogs but afterwards I’m keen to troll…you up for it???

  83. 83 Alchemist Mar 21st, 2007 at 4:09 pm

    @ Thumper - the usual :) ?

  84. 84 Thumper â„¢ Mar 21st, 2007 at 4:44 pm

    @Alchemist
    The fluffy balls are done…amazing what skinny little noise merchants they really are underneath all that wool…one of them is half Powder Puff or Chinese Eating Dog…I like it cause it’s an “eating” dog…more useful in an Armageddon situation…yes the usual…

  85. 85 Thumper â„¢ Mar 21st, 2007 at 5:00 pm

    @Alchemist
    I’ve gone in…see you soon…

  86. 86 SATAN Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:38 pm

    Dear Mr Henderson and the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Moster

    Love you Emblem, Nice mockery of the Fish logo

    Thank you for a most enjoyable website experience

    NOW, Let me tell you and all your worshipers what SATAN has to say to you this day of 3/21/07

    For Who is a fool but one who says that “GOD DOES NOT EXIST”, next to that is one who foolishly ANGERS the ONE true Living GOD of the Hebrew and Greek Holy BIble

    I AM HERE to tell you as A Servant of Most Hight God and My Name is SATAN,

    Yes the very same Devil and My number you may have heard is Six Hundrd Three score and six

    I AM - HERE ON EARTH FOR A SHORT TIME TO DECLARE THE COMING OF JESUS CHRIST AND TO FULFILL HIS JUDGEMENTS ON THE EARTH

    IN a matter of time, which you shall witness, A SERIES of world events on this earth shall make your Earth a living hell,
    and you will witness the True Awsome POWER the Truth of JESUS CHRIST or the one True Living GOD known in Hebrew Tougne as YAHWEH

    This “church” or its insolent attitude toward GOD’s HOLY WORD SHALL PERRISH IN HIS HOLY PERFECT WRATH AND ALL FOOLS shall like wise perrish when the Wrath of Almighty YHWH Is finished upon this earth soon IN DUE TIME to be lit up like a candle stick.

    YOU have attempted to make a point in your disgust of fundamemnatilst preachers and their attempts to bring in “creationism” into the public schools , but you fail to understand that over 80% of Christain fundamentalist have much in common with your patheic church for neither did they OBEY the commandments of Almighty God , thus they too shall PERRISH, but this mocking church shall perrish in a worse fate, for it is one thing to die and be burried in earth or where your carcass falls and decomposes, It is far another penalty FOR MOCKING THE LIVING GOD to BURN and thus recieve a punishment FOREVER by the WRATH OF THE ONE TRUE LIVING GOD

    KNOW THEREFORE THAT YHWH, YOUR GOD, AND THE ONLY GOD AND CREATOR OF ALL HUMANS, …THIS FUCKING EARTH!!!

    HE HAS NOT FOUND YOUR WORK PLEASING….

    TO SAY THE LEAST.

    RATHER IT IS AN ABOMINATION AND THEREFORE ALL IT TOUCHES SHALL PERRISH IN HIS HIHGEST WRATH!!!

    AS FOR ALL WHO FOLLOW THE DELUSION OF ATHIESIM THEY ARE ALREADY DAMNED FOR THEY ARE FOOLS

    I AM SATAN , AN ANGRY PISSED OFF BITCH AND YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN YOUR SENTENCE!!!!!

    ENJOY YOUR SHORT HUMAN LIFE NOW FOR YOU SHALL REGRET YOU WERE GIVEN A LIFE LATER WHEN YOU RECIEVE YOUR JUST REWARD FOR MAKING A MOCKERY OF THE ONE TRUE LIVING GOD AND PISSING OFF JESUS

    FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT FATE IS TO BEFALL YOUR PATHETIC WORLD SOON TO COME… FOR THE DAYS OF HIS VENGENCE ARE SOON TO BE FULFILLED

    VISIT THIS WEBSITE IF YOUR SO DARE ( BE WARNED NOT TO MOCK ITS CONTENTS )

    http://www.7000menforthelord.com/home.htm

    COME FORTH AND SEE! THE JUDGEMENTS OF YHWH ON THIS PATHETIC REBELIOUS WORLD FOR IT HAS MOCKED AN IGNORED GOD FOR THE LAST TIME

    HAVE A NICE DAY

    (Now if you will excuse me, I have to find some naughty lingerie to please THE LORD )

    IN HIS HIGHEST SERVICE
    SATAN
    HIS SERVANT AMARANATH
    ANGEL OF YHWH

  87. 87 Joshman Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:40 pm

    long enough ass hole? I cant even be fucked reading it, this is a low brow chat site for spaghettis sake!

  88. 88 Joshman Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:41 pm

    that was at satan by the way (evil bastard):)

  89. 89 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:46 pm

    Arrr….
    .
    Bugger off, Satan

  90. 90 Joshman Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:47 pm

    sweet, i have a disiple

  91. 91 Joshman is gay Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:48 pm

    Yo joshman

  92. 92 Joshman is gay Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:50 pm

    fuck you “joshman is gay” (i hated writing that) :

  93. 93 Joshman Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:51 pm

    dont change my name douche

  94. 94 The Truth Teller Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:52 pm

    Just cos we had fun last night…

  95. 95 Joshman Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:54 pm

    get out of it fag, last night was a one night stand and im not returning your calls even if your slong was big and Juicy

  96. 96 The Truth Teller Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:54 pm

    I hate you Fatman :’(

  97. 97 Thumper â„¢ Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:55 pm

    @Satan
    Thanks for dropping by.
    “VISIT THIS WEBSITE IF YOUR SO DARE ( BE WARNED NOT TO MOCK ITS CONTENTS )”…visit huh…you gotta forum?…do I look like the kinda wabbit who would mock a pack of mad drooling satanists???…I guess it ain’t true that the greastest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he doesn’t exist…here you are!!!
    .
    Repent Satan!…it’s not too late to be embraced by his noodley goodness…

  98. 98 Jooshman Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:57 pm

    Im a homo who had sex with jesus and god

  99. 99 Rowdy Wench Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:59 pm

    @ Satan - even you have to follow the scroll rule.

  100. 100 The Truth Teller Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:59 pm

    Satan doesn’t exist…Spaghetti Killer killed him last month with a toothpick.

  101. 101 Joshman Mar 21st, 2007 at 8:59 pm

    get the hell away from me and my name dickhead

  102. 102 Spaghetti Killer Mar 21st, 2007 at 9:00 pm

    Yep sure did. He put up a fight but it didn’t last long, he slipped on a banana peel and fell on the tooth pick.

  103. 103 Joshman Mar 21st, 2007 at 9:04 pm

    someone type into google “the most anoying website in the world” and click on the links! ;)

  104. 104 Joshman Mar 21st, 2007 at 9:07 pm

    someone type into google “the most anoying website in the world” and click on the links! ;)

  105. 105 St John the Blasphemist Mar 21st, 2007 at 9:28 pm

    When enough people suffer the same psychotic delerium, they call it faith.
    .
    St John the Blapshemist
    Saint of Psychosis

  106. 106 Red DutchPasta Kidd Mar 22nd, 2007 at 12:43 am

    Ramen, saint John.

  107. 107 DutchPastaGuy Mar 22nd, 2007 at 3:18 am

    Anyone care for a coordinated troll invasion sometime of that link SATAN put up? Alchemist? I suddenly feel a great urge to do a humongous amount of mocking over there.

  108. 108 St John the Blasphemist Mar 22nd, 2007 at 6:05 am

    @DutchPastaGuy
    It sounds like fun, but looking at the amount of creativity involved in the site (I want to see them do their entire lines in arabic, not just the word ‘Allah’, which, for all they know might not mean ‘Allah’. It might mean ‘bicycle’ or something. It looks like they’ve just grabbed it from some website and just assumed it means ‘Allah’), no matter what we come up with, we’d always be met with the killer lines: “You are wrong” and “You can all go and get fucked”.
    .
    St John the Blasphemist
    Saint of Getting Fucked

  109. 109 Alchemist Mar 22nd, 2007 at 7:00 am

    @ DPG
    Hell - I’m in for a bit of friendly mocking :)
    .
    @Satan - do you control Tiscali? ‘cos I’m having a hell of time with them! Have now resorted to extreme sarcasm to the poor buggers on their tech support line.
    Why do they ask such stupid f*****g questions? “are you using the modem we sent you?” “There is no problem on the line”
    AArgh! There wasn’t a bloody problem until the twots LLU’d the F’ing thing!
    .
    Oh, Satan - post less words or I’ll get Zeus on to you :)

  110. 110 SATAN Mar 22nd, 2007 at 12:55 pm

    I normally dont respond but you all have made me to laaugh
    but know an understand I do exist and I am real an Arch Angel and the joke is on your all for I do work for God or JESUS
    So know that this forum is in danger of HELL FIRE for it does not make God laugh

    as it might Me

    Again I invite you to read the future of your sad pathetic world

    http://www.7000menforthelord.com/home.htm

    view some prophetic artwork http://7000menforthelord.com/sketches.htm

    Yours trutly SATAN

    The light bearer

    Abbodon, Lucifer, the devil

    Amaranth Angel of YHWH

    REPENT OF YOUR imaginary noodle philosophy and SEEK YOUR TRUE GOD
    FOR THIS WORLD HATH BUT A SHORT TIME TO EXIST

    Good day

    Do you any of you pathetic humans have any idea where Ican find some realy naughty slutty leather bondage gear the more revelaing the better
    an Angel must please the Lord,

    After all, all work and no play makes JESUS a dull boy .

    WHOSOEVER LAUGHES AT THAT JOKE IS HEREBY DAMNED !! FOR I AM SERIOUS

    With much compassion and Love
    IN HIS HIGHEST SERVICE,
    SATAN

  111. 111 Red DutchPasta Kidd Mar 22nd, 2007 at 1:07 pm

    Hahahahahahah, ooops, damned!

  112. 112 Yes, I am a Pirate. Mar 22nd, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    Bobby, it looks like FSM is testing us!!!!! Yes, henderob, FSM-ism is REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  113. 113 Bearded Clam Admirer Mar 22nd, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    Arrr…..
    .
    Satan be fickle?

  114. 114 Alchemist Mar 22nd, 2007 at 1:13 pm

    Hiya Satan - you popping in for a beer later? Usual time! Dionysus and I are planning a bit of a piss-up later. He’s invited the Erinyes along so you just know it’ll be a ball. We’re all going to wear huge strap-ons phalluses and recite Lysistrata :)
    .
    Good links but I didn’t see a forum! We NEED forums! I’ll search it properly later - might have a prayer request book or even an email addy :)
    .
    Not sure about the bondage gear though, sorry. I’m more of a sheep and nipple tassel man myself.

  115. 115 DutchPastaGuy Mar 22nd, 2007 at 3:36 pm

    @SATAN
    “Again I invite you to read the future of your sad pathetic world
    www.7000menforthelord.com/home.htm
    I just looked at it. Boy am I glad to be doing my own thinking when I see that. You should try doing your own thinking some time. It takes some effort, but it’s definately worth it.

  116. 116 Jean Bart Mar 22nd, 2007 at 3:50 pm

    Phew, this 7000men thing site requires the wearing of sunglasses, for sure! It must be a test: if you manage to read all, you get a candy!

  117. 117 Alchemist Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:12 pm

    Jean Bart - too true! You can almost picture the author drooling down his bib and gibbering “purple, purple! Must have more purple!”

  118. 118 bill Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:13 pm

    @SATAN
    Is that you? Would you answer some questions like GOD did? Nice that you don’t type caps. You are a kind demon. I have a theory that you are really the one who wrote the bible. It has your hand all over it. You want to confess?

  119. 119 bill Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:34 pm

    Actually, it’s a trick question. If you say you didn’t write it then someone more diabolical and evil than you did. But there is no one more evil than Satan. Therefore you are not Satan. Think about it, what could be worse that claiming to be an all powerful, all good god and then sprinkling a bit of your good text with smitings and commandments to keep people (mostly stupid people) from thinking and having them doing evil things like ‘burning witches’ and ‘beating up gays’. Not to mention all the ‘time for every purpose under heaven’ including ‘a time to kill’
    So either the bible was written by an outrageously evil person or it was written by someone really really stupid. But Bush wasn’t born until the 20th century. That leaves us with ‘evil’. So want to answer some questions?

  120. 120 Jean Bart Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:35 pm

    @bill Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:13 pm “@SATAN …I have a theory that you are really the one who wrote the bible…”
    .
    And Salman Rushdie has a theory that SATAN inspired bits of the Koran. This theory wasn’t very popular with Muslim fundies, though…

  121. 121 Jean Bart Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:37 pm

    @bill Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:34 pm “So either the bible was written by an outrageously evil person or it was written by someone really really stupid. But Bush wasn’t born until the 20th century. That leaves us with ‘evil’. So want to answer some questions?”
    .
    Hahaha, poor Satan…

  122. 122 bill Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:41 pm

    @Jean Bert
    We probably all ought to feel sorry for Satan. Christians ought to pray for Satan’s soul. That would be a nice thing to do. Very thoughtful. And who needs it more?

  123. 123 Jean Bart Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:43 pm

    @bill
    Good idea: “Xians without a prayer purpose, unite! Let’s pray for the soul of Satan!”
    .
    Will keep them busy…

  124. 124 bill Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:44 pm

    @Jean Bart
    I didn’t know that was Rushdie’s thesis. Was he religious? I hear he was working on a new book on Budda. It’s called ‘FATSO’

  125. 125 Alchemist Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:47 pm

    @Jean Bart
    “…This theory wasn’t very popular with Muslim fundies, though…”
    .
    Have you heard that 3 men have just been arrested in connection with the 7/7 London bombings?
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6481495.stm

  126. 126 Jean Bart Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:49 pm

    @bill Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:44 pm “@Jean Bart I didn’t know that was Rushdie’s thesis. Was he religious? I hear he was working on a new book on Budda. It’s called ‘FATSO’”
    .
    Hahaha. I loved the “Satanic Verses”. Bought it (”under the counter!”) when the Pope declared himself against it too ;) Really, even in Belgium you couldn’t buy the book overtly. But each librarian had it, only they didn’t expose it… The “verses” thing is only a tiny part of the book. Love Rushdie’s telling…

  127. 127 bill Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:49 pm

    @Jean Bart
    I wonder if you’re only supposed to pray for things that have a chance of working. Like, should you pray for universal happiness? Unlikely that it will actually occur. But maybe if enough people prayed, we’d have universal happiness and we could save Satan’s soul. Ya think?

  128. 128 Jean Bart Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:56 pm

    @Bill
    That would lead us back to the (old?) question of “When somebody prays for somebody who doesn’t believe, does that help? Does it make a difference if the “praying target” is or isn’t believing. Or if the praying person knows or doesn’t know that the “target” isn’t believing?”
    I posted this on the forum, and got some interesting answers, including links to articles about “scientifically controlled” praying for cardiac patients. Yes, the whole placebo thing, but with prayers instead of pills…

  129. 129 bill Mar 22nd, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    @Jean Bart
    Darn, One of these days I’m going to think of something original. http://www.normalbobsmith.com/satanssalvation/satanssalvation.html

  130. 130 Jean Bart Mar 22nd, 2007 at 5:00 pm

    @bill
    Wahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
    .
    RAmen to that!

  131. 131 Jean Bart Mar 22nd, 2007 at 5:01 pm

    Bugger! Tried to download the pamphlet, but it couldn’t be found…

  132. 132