Seriously think about this logically. How can a flying spaghetti “whatever†live or make something? If we are made in Gods image, I’m not spaghetti am I? you have probably ruined millions of people’s lives. Y is there pirates in ur religion? I am trying 2 act like u don’t have mental disabilities, but it’s very hard. This is blasphemy and u will probably burn in hell for the next eternity for ruining the lives of millions of people. I don’t know ne1 who “believes†in ur load of #$^@!like the words of others GET SOME HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-greg
@Ponder-er
when I was raised as a baptist child I was taught that god existed for eternity before he created the world and then that everybody would live forever burning in torture or continually giving praise to god for another eternity. that makes two eternities, I have no idea how that works.
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@everyone – been gone for a few days and have been suffering withdrawl!
@OEJ – wow, I am really sorry. I hope you are doing better, and are able at some point to find out what happened.
@ Wench Beth – My husband and I have seen every episode of Star Trek TNG, Voyager, and Enterprise! He can tell within the intro to most of the shows (including the original) what the show is and how it goes…I have identified TNG episodes based on 30 seconds of viewing. We have also seen every episode of Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis…
@ everyone – I don’t know a good segue into this, so I’m just going to post it here (I may also put it on some of the more active threads). A friend of ours sent this to my husband Friday with the subject line “WTF”, and he said “I know exactly where to drop this little gem”. So, enjoy!! http://www.fixedearth.com
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@ RW
*jaw drops* are they freakin serious?!
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@Rowdy Wench
Jesus Christ on Freakin’ Stilts… what the hell is that? It has to be a joke… or possibly the latest monthly newsletter from an insane asylum. I don’t even know what to think… on the one hand, I am laughing my ass off right now. But on the other, I am gobsmacked that there are actually people this stupid, who apparently are being allowed off the short bus without their handlers in tow.
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@Rowdy Wench
Great link…there was one bit that I couldn’t argue with…the bit that said…”please fasten your mental and spiritual seatbelts.”
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@ Thumper
that site is…………..the product of a very very very very disturbed mind. I want to know why they made it
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@One-Eyed Jimothy
To quote my favorite Seinfeld episode, “There isn’t enough voltage in the world to electro-shock that lunatic back into coherance.”
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@ Batman – I am right there with you! But I actually know people like this…I try not to spend any time with them once they are identified! I am tolerant but they are not…
@ Thumper – I agree! I don’t think there’s a seatbelt out there than can help us with that level of insanity though! :)
I also heard about people that have written books that state that the Grand Canyon was formed as part of Noah’s flood…this just gets worser and worser.
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@One-Eyed Jimothy
To quote Seinfeld…”Me to Jimmy, me to”…Perhaps it’s satire!!! Did you manage to take a peek at the testamonials? I noticed that one of them was a retired Appeals Court Judge!!!…FSM please make it satire…I promise I won’t upset you by pretending to be a fundy ever again…
@Batman
Did you notice that there is a Superman in every episode of Seinfeld?
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@Rowdy Wench- I don’t know anyone who thinks like this. Or at least, not that they’ve told me. Tolerance is all well and good, but when someone is completely off their rocker are you actually required to give them your consideration? Ha ha ha ha ha… the people that you know that believe this kind of thing… how do they feel about the FSM?
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@Thumper
Yeah, Superman was all over that show like a fat kid on fudge. Jerry even got to date a girl named Lois, which apparently was like discovering the holy grail. I’m not a fan of Superman though… he’s my least favorite of all the superheroes. Batman and Wolverine rock the casbah.
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Hmmmm… I hope the fixed earth thing is meant as a joke… I really really hope. I kind of think it has to be… maybe someone could brave a Christian chat room and take a quick census?
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@Batman
Actually it was “The Clash” that rocked the Casbah.
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I agree…Superman is just too big for his blue breeches. I dated a journalist for a while that I insisted upon calling “Lois”…I guess that this doesn’t count as a holy grail find though.
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Do you think the FSM needs a holy grail??? Some sort of beer mug or stein perhaps??? Sorry…I’m a tangent type of guy…
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@ Batman
but electroshock therapy is fun!:P
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@Bill
You missed algebra 101.
When “a” is a representation of something, say the mass of a load of bricks, and “b” is defined as the same, it is only the single property that is transferred.
That makes it usable in mathematical constructs.
It does not imply anything larger.
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@Thumper
I’d be down for an FSM holy beer-stein, as long as it is really big. It would have to hold a minimum of 1.5L of beer, it would be self cooling so the 1.5L+ beer would not get warm before the drinker got a chance to finish it, and maybe it could be bejeweled? I would like it to be bejeweled…
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What exactly is a casbah?
@One-Eyed Jimothy
Do they still perform electroshock therapy on people? What was it supposed to cure… is it for voices that nobody else can hear?
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@Lab_rat
Hello Lab_rat…
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@ Batman
I believe so. actually, when it was first implemented, i think they used it for every thing
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@ Cat
control yourself kitty, we don’t need ya eating other posters:P
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@ Batman – I haven’t approached the FSM topic with anyone who thinks like this. I posted in another thread that one of my mentors turned out to be a fundie. For a long time she really had a lot to teach me (about natural horsemanship and how to be a better human – long story!) but at the point I found out she was a fundie I started having trouble learning from her – I felt like I knew more about the universe than she does. Vanity on my part? I prefer to think not – and that I am “bigger than my body” so to speak. I am not brave enough to go into an xtian chat room – hopefully one of my fellow pirates will be!
@ everyone – Oh my FSM I almost forgot – I had a spiritual experience watching the Pirate Myths episode of Mythbusters. If you haven’t seen it, you should! Fabulous! Apparently, eye patches are used so that we pirates can have instant night vision – just switch from one eye to the other and we can instantly see in the dark! Fascinating…
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@Ships Cat – Once again, you have me laughing out loud!
@ Batman – I like your ideas for the beer stein!
OK folks – I’m out for the night. Back tomorrow…
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@ RW
that actually makes a lot of sense. I need to get an eyepatch now:P
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@Batman
The Casbah is a walled citadel…it’s Middle Eastern and likely hiding terrorists…The Clash was a British Punk rock group that couldn’t play or sing but are still pretty cool…they later formed “Big Audio Dynamite” but never learned to sing or play and remain cool.
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I think the holy grail of the FSM would be self filling/frosting…i.e. It never runs out of beer and never gets warm…unless Alchemist had hold of it in which case the beer would be warm which is how the sick animal likely likes to drink it being in merry England.
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@Rowdy Wench
The stein was my idea and the cat says “hello”…poor ole Thumpie never gets credit where credit is due…
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@Thumper
Maybe I need to listen to that song again…
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As long as I get credit for the bejeweling… the stein itself is all yours. And drinking warm beer is just… well… wrong. It’s wrong.
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@Rowdy Wench
I don’t think that makes you vain. I think I would react the same way if I were to find out that someone I knew believed, for example, the fixed earth theory. I don’t think I could take someone seriously if I found out they believed something so totally ridiculous…
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I’m off so I’ll say “ta ta!” until next time…
@Rowdy Wench
Just let me know if you want someone to “hold your hand” in a Xtian chat room…I’ve been meaning to torment these people for some time now…I’m thinking of getting some “vintage Thumper” happening and see if I can’t horrify them with their own book and some wabit wabbit interpretation…should be fun(dy)…ha ha.
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Errrr…that’s wabid wabbit…
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@OneEyed Jimothy
Kay, I don’t want to be too disgusting here… but people who are electrocuted tend to, um, void themselves as the current runs through them; it causes them to lose control of their bodily functions. Can you imagine not only the indignity of being strapped down and currents run through your body while people watch you convulse… but then “waking up” and finding out that you had voided all over the place? Doesn’t sound like fun to me… but depends what you’re into I guess. =P
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Ship’s cat, easy boy, easy. Talking about how tasty other posters are or how tasty their distant family is can upset them.
*
Rowdy wench, alas it wouldn’t work for me as i am blind in one eye. I do love watching the mythbusters or brainiac, they are totally insane but in a good way.
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I just thought of the perfect answer to greg’s queation: how can i be made in FSM’s image, i’m not spaghetti am i?
*
Answer: No, but you are pretty twisted!
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lord noodle =]
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In many ways I agree with Greg but I think alot of this hate mail is too harsh and people should respect other beliefs.
xxx
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Hi Molly. I agree with you about respecting other’s beliefs. The problem is that it seems to be one-sided. Be you christian, jew, muslim, hari krishna etc. I might have a problem agreeing with you but so what (I have that problem with 99.99999% of the world).
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Be ye Atheist or Humanist though and everyone thinks they have a God given right to condemn you. Be you agnostic and they need to convert you!
Why is that?
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@ Thumper – Thanks for the offer! At this point, I have all I can keep up with and shouldn’t add anything else, though. Being the obsessive wench that I am it’s hard enough to not spend too much time here! :) Are you Ship’s Cat too? (Maybe not an appropriate question? Dunno) I can’t keep up with everyone’s names!!
@ Alchemist – I think the answer is fear. They are afraid of being wrong, but if everyone believes the same thing perhaps then there’s more hope that they aren’t. I think that’s why they foam at the mouth when confronted with reason and logic – it speaks directly to their deepest fears (if they weren’t deeply afraid they wouldn’t need religion in the first place). Most people are so unconcious they don’t even know they are afraid, and that makes them dangerous.
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@ Alchemist
The Fundies just have trouble accepting the truth: Basically that they can’t all be right.
Everyone has problems believing in religion.
Atheists just disbelieve in one more religion than everyone else.
Not an original thought just an appropriate one.
Oh and we’re all spaghetti on the inside
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Hi Rowdy – I don’t think we’ve been introduced *doffs cap*
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Good point. Fear is a big thing! I’m afraid about death too. It’s the human condition. Instead of hiding under my duvet I decided to confront my fear. I’m still not happy about it but I realised that the Universe doesn’t give a damn how I feel :)
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I sometimes wish I could go back to those days when I knew that god loved me and I would go to heaven when I died. Those days went many years ago.
In the immortal words of John Lennon “Imagine there’s no heaven……it’s easy if you try”.
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…..”Most people are so unconcious they don’t even know they are afraid, and that makes them dangerous.”
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Yes. very true
RAmen (and a pleasure to meet you :))
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Privateer
“Everyone has problems believing in religion.
Atheists just disbelieve in one more religion than everyone else.”
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hahaha Like it :)
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@ Alchemist – very nice to meet you too! I have been facing down my own fears, which is really challenging but causes one to actually feel alive! It is sad to me that so many people choose to stay afraid. Humanity will never realize its full potential till we can get people to wake up and throw out all the insanity that religion has taught them.
Must go now – I have a full day ahead but will try and stop by from time to time.
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Re the John Lennon’s Imagine.
..Nothing to kill or die for
..And no religion too.
..Imagine all the people,
..living life in peace..
Face it the man was a prophet, crap airport though.
Disturbingly in the good old US of A the key line is often changed to:
..And one religion too.
Definately sacrilege
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@Rowdy Wench Feb 18th, 2007 at 10:31 pm “@ everyone – I don’t know a good segue into this, so I’m just going to post it here (I may also put it on some of the more active threads). A friend of ours sent this to my husband Friday with the subject line “WTFâ€, and he said “I know exactly where to drop this little gemâ€. So, enjoy!! http://www.fixedearth.com”
I searched for a guest book on that site, to state that Nasa’s moon expeditions were a forgery, but I didn’t find a way to get into the site. Aaaargh!
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Humm… so it appears the dumbing down of America is working, eh?? What a horrible post in terms of writing skills that person has! And how many eternitys are there anyway, if we are only going to spend the next one in hell? I suppose only one eternity in hell wouldn’t be too bad….
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I bought the Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster today at Barnes and Noble. I first looked in the Religion section, then Philosophy, then New Age. Nothing. I had to ask where it was, and do you know where those narrow-minded fascist pigs at B&N put it? In the Humor section! Can you believe that crap?
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Josh, absolutely shocking! Gather some pirate friends and loot the place, that’ll teach them!
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lordenoodl =]
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Wow guys all I have to say is good job. Sorry I am a first timmer and I figured I’d leave a comment. I am a Catholic but I tihnk you guys are doing a great job. Please excuse me because I am not sure if you are a “real” religion of sometihng along the lines of “GodIsImaginary.com” but either way keep up the good work. Although I think the idea of a Flying Spaghetti Monster is a little out there I am glad you are exposing the Christians/Chatholics for the ignorant fucks they really are. I dont think one of them will ever come up with any evidence supporting their claims. They will just bitch bitch bitch and be hypocrites. Anyways going to bookmark your site and maybe buy a T-Shirt ^^ peace out soldiers of the FSM
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@ Jean Bart – It’s a terribly made site for sure.
@ Josh – Even though you have been traumatized and our fair religion mocked, may the FSM give you strength to shed the damage and laugh your ass off at the Gospel! For it is truly funny.
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@Masked Avenger- welcome welcome, but you seem to contradict yourself.:0
I am a Catholic
I am glad you are exposing the Christians/Chatholics for the ignorant fucks they really are.
what up?
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@ Dread Wench
I think he was meaning Christians/Catholics in general. remember, there’s always the exception to the rule, and I think Avenger is said exception
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@Masked Avenger
We have atheist Pastafarians, Catholic Pastafarians, Jewish Pastafarians, Buddhist Pastafarians, agnostic Pastafarians, a troll becoming a real serious Pastafarian (Thumper), and some others. Not seen any sign of a Muslim Pastafarian, though. Main idea: debating and discussing religion, philosophy, politics, whatever human activity that should envolve some cerebral activity. All that with quite alarge helping of humour and wit! That’s what’s makes a fundamental difference between a fundie an a Pastafarian!
RAmen to you Pirates!
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@ Jean Bart
yep, that be us:) don’t forget to mention we’re nice and most of us don’t bite too hard:P
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@Masked Avenger
Need a couple typing lessons there, kiddo.
Yes, those fundies are ignorant fucks, but they’re can be converted, just look at Thumpy and Soldier of God, we have a very good track record for conversions!
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Have you kiddies been behaving yourselves while I was gone?
RAmen
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