Seriously think about this logically. How can a flying spaghetti “whatever†live or make something? If we are made in Gods image, I’m not spaghetti am I? you have probably ruined millions of people’s lives. Y is there pirates in ur religion? I am trying 2 act like u don’t have mental disabilities, but it’s very hard. This is blasphemy and u will probably burn in hell for the next eternity for ruining the lives of millions of people. I don’t know ne1 who “believes†in ur load of #$^@!like the words of others GET SOME HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-greg
Dear Greg,
Obviously you are someone who does not truly apretiate different religions.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Dear Greg,
Obviously you are someone who does not truly apretiate different religions.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
this church is the stupedist thing i have ever heard whoever believes in this is a retard
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You haven’t heard much then kid? Like punctuation, politeness stuff like that are obviously still unknown territory for you. Have no fear, just keep coming here and His Noodlyness will help you understand.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@jj
Why do you sound so angry? Don’t you realise, the FSM LOVES YOU TOO! If you would just open your heart to Him, you too would feel the warm embrace of His Noodly appendages. Life is just so much richer with the great love from the FSM. And not just this life, but your afterlife too. HE LOVES YOU JJ, HE LOVES YOU! No matter how hard you may try to deny Him, you’re one of His noodly little creatures too. HE LOVES YOU!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ DPG – RAmen my pirate brother! :)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There is, in fairness, a similarity between the discipirates of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and followers of Catho;lic Doctrine. Catholics consume the body and blood of their Lord, where Pastafarians consume the appendages and sauce of their Lord
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There is, in fairness, a similarity between the discipirates of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and followers of Catho;lic Doctrine. Catholics consume the body and blood of their Lord, where Pastafarians consume the appendages and sauce of their Lord
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
sorry about the flooding. Lucky the FSM told my dad to build a giant inner tortellini tube.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I’m a recent convert to FSM – Long Live His Noodly Appendage, however just making a general comment on these “hate mail” posts: the absense of proper use of language in these posts is making it very, very difficult for me to be convinced by ANYTHING these people (the non-believers) are likely to say- if your gonna bitch, do it properbly. Its a comment on the maturity of the non-believers. Also the use of “1337″ speak is not really relevent in an intellectual argument. In the immortal words of Terry Pratchett: “Multiple exclaimation marks are a sign of a sick mind”.
Long may we be touched by his noodly appendages.
ShinyGorbad
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Ramen to that ShinyGorbad. Welcome to the CoFSM.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ShinyGorgbad
Good to have you on the site!
(Notice the singular exclamation point)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“I don’t know ne1 who “believes†in ur load of #$^@!”
“you have probably ruined millions of people’s lives.”
-.-;;
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Here’s a bit of the first chapter from the short story I am writing for the hymnbook. The prologue was posted here earlier. Oh, and just to be clear, _ = paragraph
also, notes from the author are part of the story, not actual notes from the author.
If anyone want’s more of the story, I’ll post it.
Enjoy!
.
.
.
Chapter 1:
The Firmament
_“I just think, sir, is that this bears an uncomfortable resemblance to that nasty dice incident. You remember how long that took to sort out, don’t you? Are you SURE you want me to plant the message?â€
no observable mouth, no observable means of propulsion, and for that matter, no observable means of support.
_The tweed-man continued; “Sorry, sir. I mean, Sir. Anyway, I thought you supposed to be omniscient, so what’s the point in studying behavioral patterns if you already know everything?â€
_“Thompson, there is no such thing as omniscience. Quantum makes that impossible. I mean, if the act of observing something changes it, then what would knowledge of absolutely everything do to finite reality? And if you had a definite line to the future, then that would have to mean that everything everyone did was completely predetermined. I got my reputation for omniscience because of studies like this.â€
.-.-.-.
–A note from the author–
_It should be noted at this point that the reader, unless they posses unusual cognitive abilities, is at a complete loss as to the context of this discussion. It should also be noted that the writer usually lets it stay that way until they find a suitably dramatic point at which, with much flair, they reveal that the aforementioned prologue was discussing (a): The secret plans of the evil villain, (b): The melodramatic childhood of the hero, or (c): Handy gardening tips for land with low moisture and hard, sandy soil. This is generally classified as stereotypical behavior for both fiction authors and presidential election candidate speechwriters.
_However, having been present at the preceding conversation, I find it pragmatic to give the reasons and results a thorough run-through.
_And I will, once I have finished setting mood and have reached a decently theatrical point in my narration.
.
.
.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Okay, listen up greggy (can I call you greggy?) There are SO MANY things wrong with your dumb letter, I’m gonna take them one at a time so maybe, one day you will read this, and realise what an unbeleivably ball bag you are/were!
1). If we are made in Gods image, I’m not spaghetti am I?
Well, that only applies to Christianity, dimbo. It says in the Bible we are all crafted in Gods image. Well, do you SEE bibles round here? NO. That’s cos this isn’t a Christian website. It’s an FSM one!
2). you have probably ruined millions of people’s lives
Well, Christianity has probablly ruined millions of people’s lives – due to the charming habit or referring to homosexuals as ’sodomites’. How does one persons beleif ruin anothers life? It doesn’t. Not unless you’re some sort of weird bigot, who can’t stand individuality – oops. Was that you?
3). Y is there pirates in ur religion?
Why not? If you’re Christian, there’s naked people, snakes, and gardens in yours. Pffft.
4). I am trying 2 act like u don’t have mental disabilities, but it’s very hard.
Don’t be so bloody rude and offensive. Also, stop being such a bigot and let other people think what they like.
5). You are, quite obvioously, a twat.
You have nothing better to do than hang around websites hurling abuse at people? What a tosser. SERIOUSLY. GET SOME FRIENDS.
Worra crotch monkey.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ Gnocci Man – Another brilliant installment! You have been touched by His Noodlyness for sure! I can’t wait to read more. RAmen!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
let them believe in their “man made god” and we can believe in ours. same thing
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Whoops. Just noticed that much of the middle of the story was cut out. Just a sec, I’m going to re-post it.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
*not a repost, the first one was missing quite a bit of dialogue. sorry*
.
.
.
Chapter 1:
The Firmament
_“I just think, sir, is that this bears an uncomfortable resemblance to that nasty dice incident. You remember how long that took to sort out, don’t you? Are you SURE you want me to plant the message?â€
_These queries came from a portly middle-aged man wearing a brown tweed suit and an expression of apprehensive anxiety.
_“Yes Thompson, I’m sure. It could provide valuable insight on their behavioral patterns when not under direct guidance. Our writer made it convincing enough, according to the tests, so it is a safe bet that our charges will simply follow the subliminal directives anyway. It’s not like we’re tossing them to the sharks, I mean, we’ll still be keeping constant watch on them the whole time. And the whole dice thing was hardly my fault anyway, so I’ll thank you not to bring it up. And don’t call me ‘sir’â€
_These retorts came from an omnipresent, omnipotent, and very noodly deity who was somehow wearing, against the forces of both logic and reason, an eye patch.
_Needless to say, the differences between the two speakers were unusually stark. For starters, the former was worriedly shifting his feet as he talked, while latter had no observable mouth, no observable means of propulsion, and for that matter, no observable means of support.
_The tweed-man continued; “Sorry, sir. I mean, Sir. Anyway, I thought you supposed to be omniscient, so what’s the point in studying behavioral patterns if you already know everything?â€
_“Thompson, there is no such thing as omniscience. Quantum makes that impossible. I mean, if the act of observing something changes it, then what would knowledge of absolutely everything do to finite reality? And if you had a definite line to the future, then that would have to mean that everything everyone did was completely predetermined. I got my reputation for omniscience because of studies like this.â€
.-.-.
–A note from the author–
_It should be noted at this point that the reader, unless they posses unusual cognitive abilities, is at a complete loss as to the context of this discussion. It should also be noted that the writer usually lets it stay that way until they find a suitably dramatic point at which, with much flair, they reveal that the aforementioned prologue was discussing (a): The secret plans of the evil villain, (b): The melodramatic childhood of the hero, or (c): Handy gardening tips for land with low moisture and hard, sandy soil. This is generally classified as stereotypical behavior for both fiction authors and presidential election candidate speechwriters.
_However, having been present at the preceding conversation, I find it pragmatic to give the reasons and results a thorough run-through.
_And I will, once I have finished setting mood and have reached a decently theatrical point in my narration.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Not trying to be funny here but I miss so many good posts due to the lack of white space – gaps are good!
.
Gnocci Man – not having a go at you specifically but long posts get ignored (at least by me and I’m sure I’m not the only one)
.
@All – sorry for going on about this (long posts, no nice gaps etc) but it is important! Some extremely good points scroll past me in a blur.
.
The only time I pick some up is when some hero/heroine reads the post for me and paraphrases!
Sorry, I’ll shut up now :)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Alchemist
I know that many people do not read long posts, but seeing as I am writing a short story it makes a lot more sense to do it in largish chunks as opposed to little pieces. It ends up taking much less space in the end, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
next eternity? I still haven’t got over the last one!
Yar
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I don’t remember the last one
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
this guy said @$#% you. does that mean “at money number percent you, or does he just not want to curse like everyone else? it boggles the mind
personally, i feel that this is the most amazing religion i have ever met. the other day, my friend asked me if i was religous, and i couldnt stop laughing. i then cnoverted three people in a row.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Sorry that the hymnbook has been taking so long, I’ve had quite a bit of trouble recently. I should be able to have it in sometime in May, and input can still be taken…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The sex is all!!! Raga!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Porco dio la madonna e tutti gli angeli in colonna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Trombati tua madre
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The Macintosh is a very shitty OS!!!!!!!!!!!
W la Figa!!!!!!!!!!!!
W Windows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Cazzo figa!!!!!!!!!!
Windows Is a FANTASTIC OS!!!!!
Macintosh is a shit!
Paopao bip ambarabaccicciccocco!!!!!!!!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I’m a Satanist!!
God dog!!! God pig!!!!!!!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hi Gnocci man!
Can’t wait!
I hope I get a whole chapter to myself ;)
Booty x
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Gnocci Man – sorry mate – I wasn’t having a go at you! Honestly! I’m just a lazy bastard :)
.
There’s so much talent on this site. I really do hope a few of the posters do publish!
(ok – enough of the nice Alchemist – bring on the sarcasm!)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
This is great. This the best site on the net.
C’mon keep on getting these delusional bible thumpers’ going..
Only way this world has lasted so long is because of atheists.
The bible is all fiction. Science has and will explain all.
FSM, I hope that the ET’s Land soon. Then we can weed out all the church going nut
case’s.
yaaaay I salute you FSM Snoochi Boochies
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I just have a quick question pertaining my arrival in Hell.
Now, I am a young man that lives a lifestyle that is, how shall I say…at the other end of the sexual spectrum. While I certainly appreciate those lovely, saucy female strippers that will be there, I’m a little more of a ’spaghetti and meatballs’ kind of guy. Think I’ll have any luck there in Hell?!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
To greg.
Not to be rude, but how can a guy live after he dies or walk on water? Pastafarianism never states that we are made in God’s image, so that’s why you aren’t a blob of pasta. I am sure that I, along with many other are trying to pretend that you don’t have mental disabilities. Your spelling and grammar are both attrocious.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Kevin: Well, I dunno about hell, but the FSM’s heaven comes complete with strippers both male and female. One of the reasons why it rocks so much. ;)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
So we are made in god’s image are we? I never knew we were invisible and omnipresent. Ah well, we all make mistakes.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“I never knew we were invisible and omnipresent.”
,
My imaginary friends are! :)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“I am trying 2 act like u don’t have mental disabilities, but it’s very hard.”
.
I always loved that line from the initial post. :))
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
WAT A TWAT!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
hahahaha i am so confused!! i mean he thinks we r all created in gods image..i mean how do we no wat god looks like and we have never seen him so u no i think he is a goon because if we looked llike god we wwud be invisible and 800 billion foot tall and 72 million legs and 1 arm…clearly he hasnt thought his argument through…wat a TIT…well i am off 2 rave peace out all !!
love ya all
gully
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“800 billion foot tall and 72 million legs and 1 arm”
.
I’m having a little trouble with that mental picture :)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh, don’t wory, it’s easy. He’s invisible too!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jingles
Thank f..k for that :))
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh we burn in the [i]next[/i] eternity! Oh, good! This eternity will last for awhile, so I’m not too concerned. :D
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Yourdumb, we use pointy brackets here. Hehehe Pointy ;)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
i don’t know about the rest of you, but this man is right.
i know i’m omnipresent and omnipotent, no one knows what i look like and i have the ability to sculpt a universe … can’t you?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0