Seriously think about this logically. How can a flying spaghetti “whatever†live or make something? If we are made in Gods image, I’m not spaghetti am I? you have probably ruined millions of people’s lives. Y is there pirates in ur religion? I am trying 2 act like u don’t have mental disabilities, but it’s very hard. This is blasphemy and u will probably burn in hell for the next eternity for ruining the lives of millions of people. I don’t know ne1 who “believes†in ur load of #$^@!like the words of others GET SOME HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-greg
@Jean Bart
I would never on purpose mistreat anyone or call names! Unless they do so first, and my goat wanders off… I just wanted to read what was being said, but I couldn’t find the thread…
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@ Nikkie
ah, no problem, I got all the needed chemicals to get rid of the fingerprints and blood stains and what not:P
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can’t seem to post on this thread – test post
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WTF? Is FSM playing with me now?
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@Booty. Thanks Booty, nice to know that someone *sulky pout* appreciates me.
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Batman’s goat has been a handful today, probably the Canadian thing :) and you do not want to know what Wench Nikkiee did with the frying pan O E Jimothy lent her! Two hours in A&E for that (whole tube of KY too)
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Afternoon folks :)
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Hi Alchemist, I can only guess it’s hard to wear a helmet on your ass???
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@Jean Bart – sorry, I missed this
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“…..Alchemist probably remembers MPT”
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hahahaha {embarrassed coff} NOT really how I’d like to be remembered on the forums – ten minutes in and I start a shouting match with some arsehole. ooops :)
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Don’t suppose you could tempt him onto the threads could you?
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@Peter – hahahahaha
How you doing my man? Yeah, think I need steel boxer shorts. Never knew Nickiee was into that kind of stuff!
As the song goes “Yogi likes it with whips and chains, kinky, kinky bear”
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Sorry, Rugby on in 25 mins – getting in the swing of it :) *trousers around ankles mooning at the world*
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@Batman Feb 24th, 2007 at 8:43 am “I just wanted to read what was being said, but I couldn’t find the thread…”
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Read the PM I left you, it contains a link to the thread (it’s on the second page of the thread, I think), well, that is if I remembered well: your username refers to a mostly nightly worn garment, isn’t it?
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@Alchemist Feb 24th, 2007 at 10:47 am “Don’t suppose you could tempt him onto the threads could you?”
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I don’t think so: MPT is a “forum only” type. No way he could stand the main page style!
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@Jean – pity, would like to see how his attitude would go down here. Could be entertaining in a warped way :)
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You were right when you said little crossover from Church and Forums. I really do understand why! Don’t like having to bite my tongue – moderators.
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Kick off time – England v Ireland in the Six Nations. Back soon (probably running naked through the threads singing Swing Low Sweet Chariot)
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@ Alchemist
Wouldn’t waste your time I’ve a feeling the local crowd at Croke Park won’t be disappointed.
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Not that I know anything about rugby apart from the old old joke about men with strangely shaped balls.
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@Privateer – quick post and run. The match is a bit aerial at the mo – second half should seal it for England I think – got a good side playing today. I might end up doing a Thumper (arrogant Aussie bangs head on desk) for this, but don’t think Ireland have a cat in hells chance :)
Back to game
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@Alchemist
Of course assumes it was possible to send a cat to hell.
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For while cats exist, in their own oderous fashion, Hell quite obviously does not.
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So Ireland should be OK, Rugby wise..
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Suppose if England do succumb to the Celtic-Might you can wash your hand (Pontius Pilate style) and blame that Soft Southern Jessie Ruby Union and not the manly Northern Rugby League the true religion of all flat cap wearing man with strangely shaped balls.
Pass me me whippet women ahm of t’t pub
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@ Alchemist re the Croke Park incident
I know, I know; deep breaths, it’ll soon be over….
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You could take solace in the fact that Scotland were stuffed royally by the Italians and at home too.
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@ Alchemist 6 nations
When I said Scotland were stuffed royally, I had not considered the possibility that a more effective stuffing was to be available this very day.
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Ireland 43: England 13
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Or as the BBC very fairly put it
Ireland got their Six Nations campaign back on track by demolishing England in their first meeting at Croke Park.
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I hesitate to call this a stuffing of biblical proportions
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@Privateer – do you have a large helping of humble pie I can eat :)
{sulk or sook as the illiterate ones say :)}
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@Alchemist and Nikkiee…
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Wha-hey?
Kinky…
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Still, I suppose the Noodley One does say; “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot Of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas.”
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@Privateer & Alchemist
You boys(?) are so funny. Nice to see some good-natured sports fans out there. I recently got shit for cheering for the “wrong” hockey team. {My (the wrong) team won, by the way.}
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Woops, forgot to add the more important bit…
“If The Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It’s A Piece Of Rubber”
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@Jingles
“Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It’s A Piece Of Rubber†”
Will post the pictures once I discover where Alchemist keeps all his favorite pictorial memos stashed. Condoms probably unnecessary. I think the frying pan is safe, on account of OE-J’s vast collection of chemical cleaning agents. Big smile for OE-J :)
RAmen
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Nikkiee,
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It’s a pity won’t have a secret Yahoo group called FSM_Disciples because if we did you could post the pictures there.
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@ Alchemist re Croke Park
While not really a Rugby fan, it gives a strange sense of tribal pride, odd that.
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You could always drown the sorrows in the broon ale..
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@Privateer – grumble, mumble, buggering bugger. Actually I don’t like Rugby :) (grumble, grumble, moan)
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@Captain – Nickiee says you can have the photo’s but you’ll need to restrict access to the Yahoo group – over 18 only!
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@Alchemist Feb 25th, 2007 at 7:04 am “@Captain – Nickiee says you can have the photo’s but you’ll need to restrict access to the Yahoo group – over 18 only!”
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Fine for me: I’m 19 (and playing with fonts, too, very delicate thing to do on the main page!)
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Hi Jean how’s the home of Stella Artois?
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I’m in trouble again – apparently I need help! That’ll teach me for calling someone a wanker on the thread.
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Wench Nickiee said it was ok – that I can always talk to her and Batman if things get too bad :)
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Might have to retain Thumper soon, liable can lead to good money :)
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@ Jingles
Hi there :)
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“…….@Alchemist and Nikkiee…
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Wha-hey?
Kinky…”
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Tell me about it! I bend down to tie my laces and she gets the latex gloves on again. Quite pleasant though :)
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@Alchemist
Who did you call a wanker?
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@Alchemist Feb 25th, 2007 at 7:56 am “Hi Jean how’s the home of Stella Artois? I’m in trouble again – apparently I need help!”
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If by mentioning Stella Artois you wanted to refer to a decent beer, you need help indeed… But we all know the really good beers (mark the plural!) are made in Belgium, as is the case with really good chocolate. Mmmm…
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A sort of partial shanty from your friendly neighborhood Gnocci Man! (finally back from my extended vacation in the land of the flying peachy crumpets, though still mildly perplexed)
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The tune is up to you, and going without one is fine. If you really want a tune and don’t like using your imagination, then get someone else to think it up for you, and don’t bother me about it. ;)
Words in quotation (in the early stanzas) are slightly more stressed.
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The Hate-Mail Song
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//begin
Chorus:
We all know what it’s like to have to talk to brainless trolls,
We all know ‘bout debating those whose humor sense is cold,
We all know that replying to a caps-lock obsessed twit
Will only get them coming back in curse-laced screaming fits!
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Leader:
Look upon this hate-mail and discuss its meaning well,
What “faggot†are they talking of, we’re going to which “hellâ€,
If we accept their “savior†then which “sins†will be “absolved?â€
And all these words are yelled at us because we said “evolvedâ€
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Chorus
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Leader:
Divisions of the hate-mail trolls are often plain to see,
Some will try to “save your soul,†and others claim to be
Coming after us with guns while swearing in a rage,
But we suspect their intellect has much to do with age.
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Chorus
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Leader:
Sometimes we catch an ID slave and watch with great disdain,
As they try to support their claims with quasi-science and
An utter lack of anything that passes for a fact,
No evidence or common sense, yet they keep coming back.
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Chorus
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Leader: (softer this time)
Someday we will be free of those who will not use their brains,
Someday we’ll see the end of those who cause us so much pain,
Great science and the Noodly One to lead us to our goal,
And dedicated posters who will fight the evil trolls!
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Chorus (softer and softer, last line repeats until fade out)
//end
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Personally, I wish that we had some more non-mimic trolls, they were so much more wonderfully illogical. But hey… you get your ranting bigotry where you can find it.
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Can’t read that crap. AOL-speak makes my eyes bleed. Are you sure you’re you’ve checked yourself for mental disabilties before suspecting them in others?
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well….i
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how does the fsm ruin ppls lives, i dont get it, iv heard it takes ppls friends away cos they start believing, well if you cant beat them join them, but really if your stupid or unlucky enough for it to ruin your life well maybe its just natural selection touching you with its, i dont know…. fleshy appendage. ahhh no that sounds wrong, really wrong, i wouldnt want a fleshy appendage forced on anyone just for the record. any way someone explain how the fsm ruins lives i want a detailed account cos im sceptical surely if anyone converts to noodliness they get beer volcanoes and strippers, that must be a plus side. but then again getting beer all over you sucks its all sticky and eeuuurgh but then again they are probably all dormant and beer is just tapped from the magma/beer chamber through pipes and beer only erupts on really special occasions like xmas and thursdays. god i love the fsm (do we get vodka volcanoes too, they would be cool cos they alliterate…. and get you drunk, especially nice martini style, shaken or stirred hmmmmm. wtf its a volcanoe shaken obviously)
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Gnocci man, great song! We need to get a songbook together. With all the talented people we have here (like Booty) it shouldn’t be a problem.
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I would just like to say that if you can believe that one person, one God created everything, every person and living being, why not spaghetti? I don’t think that any of it is far fetched. So saying that there is no way spaghetti created anything is a contradiction when you say that God did. What evidence of God do you have? You have books written a long time ago saying that Jesus was here yada yada yada, but then again Shakespeare could write quite a story too. How do you know he didn’t write that book? Or someone like him? If you can believe in a book and a religion (where Priests molest little kids and get away with it) without a blink of an eye why not this? Why can’t this be an option? I hope you know religion was formed as a way to control people. It has nothing to do with “God”, but a groups desire to control the world. You give me one solid fact, something I can define with my senses that God exists and then you have an argument. Then it would be blasphemy. As of now it is a funny story that is going to make many people laugh. A laugh may ruin your life but I doubt it will ruin anyone elses.
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@Red DutchPasta Kidd
Thank’e sir!
Good idea about the songbook, but we may need a bit more input. Haikus don’t take up much space, and there are only a couple longer poems/songs. I’ll start collecting what we have soon, including the infamouse novella by Penne!
RAmen
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Alright, got The Story Of The Clowns!
It’s going well…
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Just finished collecting the poetry from the ‘FSM haikus’ thread. Remember, any input would be nice. just post it on this thread!
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Okay, got the shanties from the pirate ship thread. This is going well!
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@ Gnocci Man
Is songs the preferred media? And haikus apparently.. :) Better get going then before you go to press..
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“If we are made in Gods image, I’m not spaghetti am I?”
That is a religion specific belief. It holds no weight whatsoever when dicussing other religions.
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@nowis
Anything that is related to songs/poetry/short stories is welcome. I already have around 20 pages, most of it classical sea shanties and FSM poetry, so FSM songs and short stories are excellent. The one short story we have now is the phenomenal story of the evil clowns (it can be found on the ’science without religion is lame’ hate-mail thread. If you are easily weirded out, then you should probably avoid) by the one of the greatest pastafarians in FSM history, Penne.
RAmen
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American Pie – FSM tribute version
A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How religion used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could go to Lourdes in France
And, maybe, I’d see miracles in a while
But Kansas School Board made me shudder
With every website I’d look under
Bad news on my PC
This wouldn’t be so easy
I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about their Christian pride
But something touched me deep inside
The day that science died.
“So bye-bye, thought and reason, goodbye
The Bible belt’s gone mad
And expects us all to complyâ€
But Henderob saw something in the sky
Singin’, “A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
“A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in FSM above,
If the Gospel tells you so?
Do you believe in rock ’n roll,
Can pasta save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to striptease slow?
Well, I know that you’re a pastafarian
‘cause I saw you in a pirate hat and on the run,
You drained a quart of rum,
and fought landlubber scum
I was a lonely teenage Christian Toff
With a guilty conscience about tossing off
But I was even more pissed off
The day that science died.
I started singin’,
“bye-bye, thought and reason, goodbye
The Bible belt’s gone mad
And expects us all to complyâ€
But Henderob saw something in the sky
Singin’, “A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
“A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
Now for two years we’ve been learning fast
Learned how to kick the Christians ass
and that’s lots of fun for me
When the fundies wrote on their break from class,
And we got oars shoved in our ass
And Popoff’s miracle water worked for me
Oh, and while Alchemists pants were down
Wench Nikkiee came in with a frown,
The frying pan was gone
Where no sun ever shone
And while Christians were still being wet
Venganza hit the right target
So we fight fundies on the ‘net
The day that science died.
We were singing,
“bye-bye, thought and reason, goodbye
The Bible belt’s gone mad
And expects us all to complyâ€
But Henderob saw something in the sky
Singin’, “A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
“A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
Pirates decline environmental disaster
Eighty degrees and rising fast
But FSM will save the day
When more pirates come out to play
and our evidence will go down on a graph
Now the Christians they were in a fit
Because we called their god a tit
We all joined in to say
We aint scared of judgement day
But the Christians read the Bible well
And said that we were bound for hell
But where it is they just wont tell
The day that science died?
We started singing,
“bye-bye, thought and reason, goodbye
The Bible belt’s gone mad
And expects us all to complyâ€
But Henderob saw something in the sky
Singin’, “A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
“A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
Oh, and there we were all on one site,
For pirates who have seen the light
And beer volcanos just for them
So come on: Bobby save us, and say RAmen
We’ll fight those fundies once again
Cause satire is the pirates only friend
As Bobby wrote Venganza’s page
the internet was full of rage
The fundies came to tell
us all to go to hell
and as we sat up long into the night
I laughed and laughed with all my might
The Christians ran away in fright
The day that science died
He was singing,
“bye-bye, thought and reason, goodbye
The Bible belt’s gone mad
And expects us all to complyâ€
But Henderob saw something in the sky
Singin’, “A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
“A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
I met some friends and read some news
learned ‘bout religion’s scary views
Drank some beer to end the day
I bought some Dawkins from the store
and read ‘bout evolution more
But unintelligent design is true I say
And on the web: the fundies screamed,
The Christians cried, and the pirates dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The stripper factory was open.
And the three men that amuse me most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They joined in the fun to pos
The day that science died.
And they were singing,
“bye-bye, thought and reason, goodbye
The Bible belt’s gone mad
And expects us all to complyâ€
But Henderob saw something in the sky
Singin’, “A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
“A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
They were singing,
“bye-bye, thought and reason, goodbye
The Bible belt’s gone mad
And expects us all to complyâ€
But Henderob saw something in the sky
Singin’, “A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
“A Spaghetti Monster can fly!â€
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When I’m Sixty-Four
When I get older, losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be worshipping the FSM
Birthday greetings, bottle of rum
If I’d been out at the stripper factory
Would you lock the door
Will you still need me
Will you still feed me
When I’m sixty four
You’ll be older too
And if you say the word
I’ll get you a brew
I could be sexy, strutting my stuff
in my new wench gear
think of all the Booty
that we’re gonna “saveâ€
Sunday mornings riding awave
Doing some plundering
walking the plank
Who could ask for more
Will you still need me
Will you still feed me
When I’m sixty four
Every summer we can rent a cottage
In one of the Hell’s, if it’s not too dear
We shall rob and steal
Wenches on your knee
Booty, Beth and Nikkiee,
Send me an email, drop me a line
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely
what you mean to say
Else it will be taken the wrong way
Give me an answer, fill in a poll
FSM for evermore
Will you still need me
Will you still feed me
When I’m sixty four
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Daydream Believer
Oh, I could hide ‘neath the wings
Of the spaghetti monster as it sings.
The mormons and JW’s would never ring.
But they ring and I rise,
Take the cutlass off my thigh.
Unintelligent design can really sting.
Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a FSM believer
And a Pastafarian Queen
You once thought of me
As a pasta freak on speed
Now you know how happy I can be.
Oh, and our good times start and end
With Beer Volcanoes round the bend
And fun times at the stripper factory
Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a FSM believer
And a Pastafarian Queen
Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a FSM believer
And a Pastafarian Queen….
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You’re welcome to these Gnocci Man, if you want them! :)
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@Booty
Thanks! They’re in, and excellent job! Good to have the input, the collection is now at 32 pages, and steadily rising. Keep up the good work!
American Pie by Don Mclean is one of my favorite songs of all time, very nice version you made. Always glad to see someone else who loves the the golden oldies, they almost make me wish that I had been born a couple decades earlier.
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:)
You’re welcome :)
I am considering taking requests ;)
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@Booty & Gnocci Man
Grrrr, unable to post here, maybe it’s the link. Third time, without the url: songlovers, check venganza’s “Hymns and Songs” forum!
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Tsk, tsk. Read the gospel of the FSM, and it clearly states that we are created in his IDEAL image. If you want to insult us, get your facts straight, at least.
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I’m making it an interactive powerpoint presentation, and I may recite a couple of the poems as well. Remember, pretty much any content you post here is fair game to be included!
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@Jean Bart
Got it. Thanks
RAmen
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