Seriously think about this logically. How can a flying spaghetti “whatever†live or make something? If we are made in Gods image, I’m not spaghetti am I? you have probably ruined millions of people’s lives. Y is there pirates in ur religion? I am trying 2 act like u don’t have mental disabilities, but it’s very hard. This is blasphemy and u will probably burn in hell for the next eternity for ruining the lives of millions of people. I don’t know ne1 who “believes†in ur load of #$^@!like the words of others GET SOME HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-greg
I do think logically, the only possible explination is that the FSM created the universe. When you are going to try and insult people, please learn to spell correctly.
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Greg, you get the point exactly…religeon has ruined MANY lives. Your only hope, and the hope of us all, is to renounce ALL religeon. There is NO GOD. Good for you! You renounce the FSM, now, go ONE GOD FURTJHER, and renounce your own! Congratulations on your inspiring words! You are one step closer to your own salvation, and have no doubt brought forth the light of atheistic redemption to others! Rock on!
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Greg, because I think logically I joined this church. It’s really the only logical thing to do.
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“How can a flying spaghetti “whatever†live or make something?”
How can a big, narcissistic, egotistical “whatever” in white robes with a beard live or make something?
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“If we are made in Gods image, I’m not spaghetti am I?”
We have said countless times that we’re not made in our gods image; it’s too perfect a form. If you would do about three minutes of research you would know that. But even so, what about bacteria? Does your tainted mind see no resemblance there to our Noodly SAvior? We are, however, designed after him on a more basic level. You are made of DNA, I assume. Look at DNA sometime; it looks like long strands of ‘noodles’(DNA) wrapped around some ‘meatballs’(histones). Look at an even more basic level, to the most fundamental thing you can get to: strings/branes of Sting Theory. Just look; tiny vibrating noodles.
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“you have probably ruined millions of people’s lives.”
Spanish Inquisition, the Crusades, the Dark Ages. What about the whole murderous spree Mohammad went on at the very beginning of Islam? That’s just physical ‘ruining’. Our religion is the only one, except maybe Buhddism depending on how you look at it, that has not ever harmed one person.
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“Y is there pirates in ur religion?”
I’ll ignore the grammar and spelling and total lack of understanding of the english language for now. Why are there saints in your religion? What kind of stupid religion makes guys who use three-leafed clovers as explanations of god into their history? And those twelve disciples? Why weren’t they wearing eyepatches?
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“I am trying 2 act like u don’t have mental disabilities, but it’s very hard.”
let’s see: us, spelling and grammar; you, none. Us, coherent, loogical arguments; you none. Yes, of course it’s plausible for you to tell us we have mental disabilities for believing in na religion far more logical than yours,
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“This is blasphemy and u will probably burn in hell for the next eternity for ruining the lives of millions of people.”
Again with the secret millions of people whose lives we have ruined! You are blaspheming the Flying Spaghetti Monster and will burn in Las Vegas, er, hell for the next eternity for ruining the lives of millions of people.
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“I don’t know ne1 who “believes†in ur load of #$^@!like the words of others GET SOME HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
If no one believes in our religion, whose lives are we ruining? Who says we want people to believe us like they believe others religions? Other religions ‘have mental disabilities’.
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I have to agree, FSMism is a state which can only be arrived at by logical deduction. the path of FSM is the only true cure to all of that religious nonsense out there, which destroys so many lives. i mean, invisible man in the sky who impregnates virgins and floods the world without leaving any evidence? what kind of illogical bullshit is that?
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Greg, read books instead of frothing at the mouth quite so much. no-one claimed we’re made in his image, that would be silly. pirates are obviously his chosen since he has repaid humanities “war against pirates” with global warming, it’s all there in the graphs my friend.
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as an aside how can we burn in hell for the “next eternity”? since eternity covers all time, how can you have a “next”? this would imply a cronologically linear progression which is patently impossible when set against eternity.
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I’m alss curious how pastafarians, (a kind, all welcoming, non judgemental religion) have ruined peoples lives? as compared to ruining altar boys, homosexuals, free-thinkers, pagans, astronomers, scientists, philosophers, women, ethnic minorities, and anyone else who dared question, disagree or have the unfortunate problem of being born different to the arrogant, mysoginistic, corrupt, homophobic, xenophobic, luddite white, male, hitler youth that dominate christianity?
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or to put it in words simple enough for you to understand, and maybe use again.
Greg, ur so wrong, get f”£%”6
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@ Greg
If you happen to be a christian – please read the bible..
1 Corinthians chapter 5
“12 After all, do I have any business judging those who are outside [the Christian faith]? Isn’t it your business to judge those who are inside? 13 God will judge those who are outside. Remove that wicked man from among you.”
If your not christian – it still is some good advice. Please straighten out your own bunch before you cast any more exclamation marks after us.
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Isn’t five exclamation marks in a row meant to be a sign of a deranged mind? Hmmm… Greg has 30. Yep. Sounds about right.
Peace out! Pastafarianism is accepting of all people, we try to love everyone and part of our philosophy is that you are free to believe whatever the hell you like, just don’t shove it down anyones throats is all. We are not ruining lives. We don’t even try to come to your website and insult you.
May you be touched by his noodly appendage, Greg.
RAmen
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Greg, seriously now, you think we have mental disabilities, you’re the one who believes in a God who, at the very least, has split personality disorder, and possibly a number of other quite severe psychological disfunctions.
You can’t have it both ways. Either your god is omnipotent and omniscient and just doesn’t choose to intervene thereby purposefully making life very unpleasant for the majority of earth’s inhabitants (many of whom aren’t Christians, so won’t go to heaven either), or he can’t intervene and is therefore not all powerful, but might conform to his all-loving image.
Basically, on current evidence (if you look there’s quite a bit), you can either have an omnipotent god who is a schizophrenic, sadistic maniac, or you can have a really nice god who is about as powerful as your average cheese sandwich but is looking down on recent attrocities with great empathy and probably developing a huge complex because he can’t do anything about it. Either way, your god probably needs to “GET SOME HELP!!!!!!!!!”.
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We were made in gods image?
Really? First he looked like a hairy ape, later like a fury guy halfbend, then a less furry persone, and finally, now he looks like a normal today type of guy?
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Yes, we were made in god’s image. That’s why god is a schizophrenic hermaephrodite.
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Or, another way of looking at things; suppose the size of a population is directly proportional to that populations resemblance to god. Makes sense, yes? After all, a god would naturally favour those closer to him. By that logic, your god is Chinese.
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I don’t know why I’m writing this, because you obviously don’t have the attention span to linger… oh well.
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@greg
We need some help? What about people who believe in an apparently infallible, all knowing, merciful and perfect DUDE who created Adam , from which HE knew before creating him, that Adam would eat from the fruits of the “evil treeâ€, which HE planted as well by HIMSELF (to be on the save side, HE even designed a snake to persuade Adam to do something bad). After having been quite angry about people for say 2000 Years (I reckon before “Jesusâ€, even good people must have been send to hell or limbo?), the beloved DUDE decided to send HIS son (or is it now HIMSELF?) down to earth where he let HIMSELF/(or his son) torture and nail to a wooden cross.
Since this extensive acupuncture, HE is “relatively†relaxed with the sins committed by Adam and sends you “only†to hell if you do not believe HIS rather adventurous, cool story.
Well if that is not convincing…..what else is…
Another question: If I was perfectly designed by an omnipotent DUDE, then I wonder why I have to wipe my arse, every time I go for a dump. I mean, the “stay clean cap†on my squeezable honey works perfect and is not exactly rocket since, is it? The same applies for my former guinea-pig (peace been upon him). His droppings where just perfect without any mess. In other words, does that mean that the DUDE spent a hell of time for perfecting the bum of guinea-pigs, and created our bum during coffee break (I thought we are the state of the art of his creation?)? Pressumably creationists do not have this problem since they release their crap via mouth by spreading and defending their fairytale.
RAmen
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Errata: I meant “rocket science” instead of “rocket since”.
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Also sinuses, the spine, just about every aspect of the human body looks like it was cobbled together on a thursday afternoon when the creator was keen to be off to the beer volcano and stripper factory. Yay! more proof of the FSM!
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Don’t forget the crossover of our aesophagus and airway. Not a brilliant design move, that…
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lisn m8! wtf ru using thez old irc words 4? u kno ppl could undrstnd u if u tlaked a bit more snsibly! & u sed sumthin they cud understnad!!
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Oh and I don’t look like an old guy with a long beard & nor do any of my friends (well I do have a friend that doesn’t shave for a year & his beard grows huge & then he shaves it off for charity, but he isn’t an old guy, so it doesn’t count, and I do have friends who are old but they don’t have long beards). I do, however, have lots of friends whose body parts, and the molecular structures that make them up, look like spaghetti & meatballs.
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And what is the ‘next eternity’? Did the last eternity finish or something?
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Finite Eternities
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Speaking of Hell…(which you forgot to capitalize) i wouldn’t mind going there… I’ve seen some pictures and Hell, Idaho isn’t that bad of an area. There are trees, lakes, mountains, rivers, and much more. Secondly, humans are NOT in the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s image… if we were we would be all noodly and thats His job.
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I once had a jehovahs witness say to me that when we were in the garden of eden we were perfectly designed, but since then we have slowly changed to being badly designed because we were naughty. I lost hope at that point.
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Nutshell:
I am trying 2 act like u don’t have mental disabilities, but it’s very hard.
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I lost hope when I found out that most of Christianity and Catholicism don’t practice what they preach. think about it, wouldn’t you lose hope too when you find out that they pick and choose what Commandments to follow and when? it seems to me that a lot of people don’t follow Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery. a few Popes have been killed by enraged husbands for sleeping with their wives. its sad sad world
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Do these people ever notice that every time they insult us, we can just mirror what they said and end up equally insulting them?
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No Armbyorg, they don’t, because they either don’t listen or are too thick! :)
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…or in this case, don’t stick around to hear it. bloody drive-by posters. grrr.
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“You are blaspheming the Flying Spaghetti Monster and will burn in Las Vegas”
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Err, Norway
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“You are blaspheming the Flying Spaghetti Monster and will burn in Las Vegasâ€
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Err, it should be “freeze in Norway “
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or freeze here in Michigan
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greg
Why thank you. Thank you very, very much.
Sincerely,
Iron Mike
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The ‘next eternity’? What the heck is that?
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after this eternity, apparantly.
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if burning in hell, gets me out of this cold and away from fundies, I’ll take it:P
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@$#% you!!!!!!
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Seriously think about this logically. How can an anthropomorphic deity “whatever” live or make something? If we are made in God’s image, I’m not some overly illuminated, bearded old fart sitting on a throne am I? You have DEFINITELY ruined millions of people’s lives. WHY is there SYMBOLIC CANNIBALISM in your religion? I am trying to act like you don’t have mental disabilities, but it is very hard. This is blasphemy and you will probably NOT BE ALLOWED TO GO TO FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER HEAVEN WITH A BEER VOLCANO AND A STRIPPER FACTORY for the next eternity for ruining the lives of millions of people. I don’t know anyone who “believes” in your load of #$^@! Like the words of others, GET SOME HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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-Cap’nUberbob
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I am now a believer…I have seen the light…the FSM has to be true. Can I go to Hell now. It has got to be warmer there than it is here. (5 degrees today)
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Well, LOGICALLY, people were not created in the image of the FSM (sauce be unto Him), but the pasta He gave us to eat WAS. And I don’t see how I am going to go to your hell, since in MY religion I am going to a heaven filled with beer volcanoes and stripper factories. I can’t wait to sit myself mext to a nice pilsner volcano with a frozen mug and place an order for some Asian strippers. That’d be like, well…heaven.
RAmen
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@ jjk
I agree with you. its not much warmer here, I think its only like 8 degrees
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You said it yourself, Greg; IF you are made in God’s image. Even you don’t sound so certain. And while you may not physically resemble a bowl of noodles, your brain to seems to be about as capable of reasonable argument as a bowl of WAY over-cooked rigatoni.
Cheers, you have just given the people on this site proof of what they have long suspected; that the type of person who would unquestionably accept the theory of any religion, is probably a huge whack-a-doo with poor English skills. I think they start out that way though. I doubt it is the FSM “ruining” their lives.
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Now why would you want to go to Hell to warm when you could just accept the FSM (blessed be His meatballs) as your personal savior and warm up next to a volcano? That reminds me. How does (presumably) cold beer flow from a (presumably)hot volcano? Oh well, I guess that’s what faith is for.
RAmen
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@ Josh
believe me, I’ve accepted His Noodliness, I just want some warmth. Michigan is freakin cold. and thats a good question about the beer volcano. I have another question about it. I don’t like beer, but I love vodka and rum. would it therefore be a vodka or rum volcano for me?:P
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@ O-EJ
What are you, some kind of heathen? His Holy Noodliness has clearly intended us to partake in beer (otherwise, why would there be beer volcanoes?). On the other hand, maybe you could just order something from the bar while enjoying some strippers.
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OEJ and Josh – it has long been understood that the FSM in his wisdom knows that not everyone likes the same type of beer, strippers or noodles, so all tastes are catered for, from wheat allergies to the more traditional pirates who like their rum!
Enjoy!
RAmen!
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@ Josh
I’ve had beer, and its just not a taste I like. the only brand I’ll drink is Fosters, but thats imported and really expensive. I just prefer the taste of rum. and isn’t rum the more pirate like drink?
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Yeah! A fundie to play with…They have no idea what they set themselves up for by posting here. Greg, do you really think that insulting us, using atrocious grammar and spelling and raving like a lunatic will cause any of us to exclaim “I have seen the light!” or some such nonsense and adopt your beliefs? Who’s the one with mental disabilities?
@OEJ – I pray that His Noodlyness is kind enough to provide us with whatever volcano we prefer. I would choose vodka, rum or whisky myself. I do like beer occasionally (had some over the weekend) but it’s not my top choice.
@Josh – An interesting question. I always assumed the volcano would be at optimum beer serving temperature. Blind faith maybe?
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@Booty
Be that as it may, it still does not explain how cold beer (or any cold beverage) flows from a volcano. I don’t mean to question the authority of the scripture, and I don’t want anyone to think I don’t believe. Just a question is all.
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@RW
Yeah, somehow Jesus’ message of peace, compassion, understanding, and redemption got lost in translation. It seems so many Xians today are loud-mouth belligerent intolerant…uh…meanies (I’m at work).
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I think The FSM would probably say it seemed like a good idea at the time, but maybe you need to ask Prophet Bobby if you want a definite reply :)
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@ Josh – no, I think judging by a lot of stuff in the Bible (especially the Old Testament and Revelations, and also a few choice comments “from the horses mouth” by Jesus himself supposedly) they are spot on in being loud mouth, belligerent, intolerant meanies!
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@Booty,
Yeah, I thought of asking the Prophet himself, but then I’d really rather not get burned at the stake for questioning the Church.
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@ RW
maybe it’ll be like in the remake of Mr. Deeds. ya know how he had a drinking fountain with Hawaiian Punch? maybe we’ll all get little personal volcano’s of our favorite alcoholic drink:P
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@OEJ – I love the idea!
@Booty – I do think Jesus had a different message than the one we see today. If anyone had actually listened, we might all be better off. But, it was corrupted by power-hungry church leaders. I absolutely agree agree with your assessment of the Old Testament. I’ve been reading a project called “Blogging the Bible” on Slate.com and it’s horrifying to know what is actually in the Old Testament.
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It could be a mechanical volcano with an electric refrigerator. The beer would be chilled and pumped out.
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@Greg:
“How can a flying spaghetti ‘whatever’ live or make something?”
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. That’s what omnipotence is all about. Seriously, it isn’t a hard concept.
“I’m not spaghetti am I?”
Correct. You aren’t good enought to be spaghetti.
“next eternity”
What?! There are two? Why didn’t anyone tell me? This changes so much!
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-Avatar of Reason
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@ RW
ya, I haven’t read the bible, but I’ve heard some of the stuff thats in the Old Testament. some scary stuff. kinda gets rid of the whole all-loving and benevolent creator image, huh?
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