I just received an email from a Pastafarian named Brian who is putting on a quirky youtube contest:
I’m encouraging people to make and upload videos about a battle between the Invisible Pink Unicorn and the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Ideally, I would like some to point out the insanity of religions (i.e. christianity & muslims) killing each other over imaginary creations.
More details of the contest can be found here. Entries must be in by April 1st, 2007. The best video will win a can of spaghetti O’s.
look it, first
nice work
Ingenious!
RAmen to you.
Clever, now if only i knew how to make a video of that…
But that’s a Visible Pink Unicorn! According to one of my colleagues, who is of that church, that’s not good!
It is important for belief that followers of religions have something to look at. If their eyes aren’t busy, their brains start working. Mohammed, Jesus, Moses, etc. The FSM and the invisible pink unicorn therefore sometimes have to manifest in visually accessible ways, and that’s why we can see the IPU in the above pictures.
well said spaghetti shaman
RaMen to you!
Is it true that the Invisible Pink Unicorn pees in bottles to make Guinness?
I can’t wait to see all the finished videos!
This is tough. The Invisible Pink Unicorn is cousin thrice removed but as a Pastafarian I can’t possibly desert his flying noodliness. I’ll back the FSM. The IPU never writes or calls and when he does visit I never know he’s there anyway.
RDPK,
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is invisible but usually depicted as visible.
I think we’ll let the Visible Invisible Pink Unicorn slide.
.
But only if the FSM wins. Screw you invisible pink non-existent horse with an ice cream cone on your head.
.
You want some? Well the FSM kicked Santas butt and all his little helpers so a horse is gonna be a piece of cake.
.
RAmen.
My vote is for the FSM as well. He created mountains and midgits, fer cryin out loud! Do we really think Schroedinger’s horse stands a chance? Now the Purple Oyster of Doom, on the other hand, may give Him a run for His money.
@Josh the Pirate
Purple Oyster of Doom? What does this beasty do? How on earth do you say that purple shell fish can give the FSM a run for His money? Shame, shame, shame!
Let’s be honest here. The POoD has the word Doom in his name, and the FSM has, well…meatballs. Now, I didn’t say the FSM would lose, lest you question my faith. I just think it would be closer to a fair fight. A pink fluffy My Little Pony wouldn’t even see the FSM coming, which would be ironic since it’s, you know, invisible and stuff. BTW, the wikipedia entry on the IPU has more info on the POoD.
The way it’s visually set up above, it looks like the unicorn is goring FSM. Is this really fair? FSM is starting from a complete disadvantage.
The Invisible Pink Unicorn has only one appendage (his horn) which in itself is debatable because no one has actually ever seen him. The Flying Spaghetti Monster has multiple noodly appendages (praise be to Him) so I think it’s quite obvious who is the superior being (and fighter).
@Wench Beth
I dunno…That horn does look dangerous and the FSM is a peace loving noodley inspiration to all of us. Perhaps rather than fight the FSM could just “will” IPU to disappear or at least become a Pastafarian.
RAmen.
I hope this doesn’t lead to a holy war between the two religions. It could be bad rep for our noodly savior.
@Bill; If you watch the ‘tube article, it is only goring a teddy bear. Which is why the FSM is so much better.
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The hallowed pasta does not engage in mindless torture of small cuddly animals, unlike absolutely anything that is pink (the colour of the devil!!!).
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What’s more, whereas IPU is invisible, and can only be caught by virgins (pfft some special powers those are! You really want to get caught by an experienced wench.), the noodley one is also invisible, PLUS is incorporeal PLUS can summon wenches AND pirate fish to his side PLUS could, if he wanted to, just stop holding on to IPU and let centripetal acceleration (or lack thereof) cause IPU to go flying off into space.
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There; FSM wins hands down (or noodley appendages maybe)!
GO FSM
YARRRRRR
wow… pink the colour of the devil… it takes a lot out of those fundie pictures of hell if you imagine the chief bad guy dressed in baby girl pink.
Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA
Feb 13th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
RDPK,
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is invisible but usually depicted as visible.
I think we’ll let the Visible Invisible Pink Unicorn slide.
.
But only if the FSM wins. Screw you invisible pink non-existent horse with an ice cream cone on your head.
.
You want some? Well the FSM kicked Santas butt and all his little helpers so a horse is gonna be a piece of cake.
.
RAmen.
*
Well, okay, just this once then :)
I gave my co-worker a link to this site though, you never know!
Hey guys! Thanks for your interest.
A couple of things. I hate to say it, but I’m afraid that I’m not a pastafarian (although I respect your beliefs - probably evident from the prize being a can of spaghettios :) )
Anyway, if you like the video, please rate it (and rate it highly). The higher the video is ranked (and the more comments it generates), the more exposure it generates and the higher the probablities that we’ll see contest entries.
Also, the contest is primarily between the FSM & the IPU, but I don’t mean to restrict it. Some people have mentioned Bob, Eris, Cthulu, & Zombie Jezus (ZJ makes an appearance at the end of the video).
To Ships Cat… yes, your idea is excellent… let’s have the FSM convert the unicorn to a Pastafarian at the end! He could drape noodles over the unicorn’s horn and the unicorn could dance in spaghetti or something.
@Wench Beth
And perhaps after the conversion the Unicorn can pee in a bottle to make beer (see my earlier post) - it is a magical invisible, pink, one horned horse after all. I can’t understand why it can’t get along with the FSM.
This is all irrelevant. The FSM (may his appendages ever be moist) would not go around fighting anyone. He should just convince the IPU that, you know, it should just kind of stay invisible. And they should be able to get along anyway. We don’t need some crusade against the IPU.
To The FSM loves you… that’s what Ships Cat said! No fighting, just conversion to Pastafarianism. I agree with both of you.
Okay okay, the FSM might be peaceful, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be a little pussy. It’s an invisible pink pony for FSM sakes. It deserves a raping and pillaging just for trying to stand up to the FSM. It thinks it can actually take on the flying spaghetti monster? Now the FSM shouldn’t just kill it, because that would just be falling down to the level of “God” which it would never do. However that doesn’t mean the FSM shouldn’t be able to have a little self respect. If the pony wants a fight, the FSM will give it a fucking fight. In the end the pony will obviously convert to pastafarianism, but it deserves a beating first. How dare it pick a fight with the FSM?
and look at that poor helpless teddy bear!
That pony deserves punishment!
GO FSM!
No, no, no…How about the IPU chickens out?
Yay, my children, it has been fortold that the days of FISPMU Holy Wars would soon be apon us. It has been said that the pastafarians shall gather their strengths (and cameras) and march to the local Hobby Lobby for supplies. The will then make many videos depicting the Flying Spaghetti Monster thwarting the Invisible Pink Unicorn, and making the snow red with unicorn blood and sauce. The IPU believers shall sit on their asses, not really caring about the Holy War, and going on with their lives of girlfriends and actual jobs. So said the FSM’s Pirate Fish Lord in my dream of mega doom.
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RAmen.
The IPU (May Her Holy Hooves Never Be Shod!) is a goddess, not a god. Please stop referring to her as “he” “him”, or “it.”
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To the poster who asked a while ago if Bobby and Cari are related: Of course not. Bobby’s last name is Henderson. Cari’s last name is Cagdelene.
Down with the IPU believers are their “lives that will amount to something”, their “girlfriends”, and the
Go FSM believers that have nothing to do but sit on their ass, bitch about Christianity, and drink beer!!!
Beer is better than girlfriends anyway.
LETS KICK SOME IPU ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*and the*
was supposed to be:
*and their jobs*
@scribble
“Okay okay, the FSM might be peaceful, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be a little pussy. It’s an invisible pink pony for FSM sakes…If the pony wants a fight, the FSM will give it a fucking fight. In the end the pony will obviously convert to pastafarianism, but it deserves a beating first.”
Ha ha…Oh hell yeah!
Even the most peaceful flying pasta monster’s not going to stand idle (idol) while the nasty invisible pink spiked horsey tries to get rowdy!!! The FSM will clasp the IPU in it’s titanium like noodley appendages and crush the pink goo out of this beasty (goddess or not)…what’s left can be recycled into a treat for Ships Cat…
FUCKING FAGS. THIS SHIT AIN’T REAL
Jesus Christ is the only god in this earth.
@fuck this religion
Hmmm… creative name you got there. Less creative put-downs, but at least you use the apostrophe correctly. As for your thoughts on the matter, I would have to give you a failing grade, for failing to say anything interesting or intelligent. Is that really the best you have to throw at us?
@Fu*k this religion
You seem confused.
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The FSM can fly and thus is not “in this earth”…personally I wasn’t aware that JC was a subterranean dwelling divinity but I’ll defer to your wisdom on where he might or might not be found…If he is down there more then likely he’s alone…
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With respect to the “Fags” this isn’t a dating site but you never know your luck I guess…perhaps someone will see past your obvious short comings and give you a sympathy bending over…
Hey, give the kid some credit, he spelled everything right. You know how hard those three-letter words can be! [/sarcasm]
@Iron gill Kidd
Yeah, his grasp of three letter words is fine. He did forget a period on the end of “THIS SH*T AIN’T REAL” though… =)
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@Thumper
As always, you are absolutely the funniest thing since sliced bread. Love it!
@Batman
Thank you I suppose…I’m not sure how amusing sliced bread can be…but maybe I just haven’t looked hard enough…in any event it’s funnier then Mr “Fu*k this Religion” so thanks again…
@Batman & Iron gill Kidd & Thumper & “fuck this religion”
What do you mean Jesus couldn’t fly? You mean “he didn’t fly, right”? Or do you mean he really couldn’t fly? Now, I’m really confused. Why are people worshipping someone who didn’t fly? Limited aspirations? Imagination? Even Superman can fly!
Oh Yea, I forgot. Bugs can fly too.
@Bill
ha ha ha ha… I thought the FSM levitated? Is that different from flying? Jesus couldn’t fly, but I thought someone said he could walk on water? Maybe it is simply a super-hero genre difference going on? Superman can fly, the original superhero who remains one of the most popular heroes… also comes from far away and has a father who is constantly watching over him. Ergo, Superman is a superhero for the Christians. Then you have the mutants, Wolverine et al, beginning life as humans but for one or two genetic abnormalities… they are kind of like Darwin’s superheroes. Then there are the angry men (The Punisher, The Hulk) who are just like you and me but get really really angry, so these would be more likely to be worshipped by religious extremists and terrorists. I could go on, but you probably didn’t want to hear all of this anyways. =S
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@Thumper
Sliced bread isn’t really really funny. I don’t know why but I use that expression for everything… I just like the idea of sliced bread being the epitome of… well… everything. Really, it is amazing stuff… it’s PRE-SLICED!! Think how many minutes you save per sandwich you make by not having to slice the bread and then wipe up the crumbs. Anyways, I think you are super funny, which was the point I was trying to (ineptly) make.
@Bill
I suppose JC could fly but if he’s living under ground as “Fu*k this religion” claims then I assume he doesn’t need to fly…I also suppose that just because the FSM can fly that it also doesn’t mean that the FSM can’t dig down to visit JC if he had the inclination…fascinating stuff…I just wish “Fu*k this religion” was here to add his thoughts into the mix…
@Bill
*snicker… “bugs can fly too.”
*first of all, please everyone ignore compete jackasses like “fuck this religion” becuase:
a. He dosen’t get it.
b. That makes him retarded.
c. He’s a Christian.
d. That makes him retarded.
Now on to more important matters, latetly I have been debating just how much ass of the IPU that the FSM should kick. I thought and I thought until I came up with a phenomenal idea…….. RAPE.
Now at first this might seem a bit rash but think about this one.
An average rape has 1…….. maybe 2 appendages involved and it leaves permanent mental and phisical scaring. (keep in mind I am in no way saying rape is a good thing) My point is this…… imagine rape with an INFINATE number of appendages. Now that’s talking rape. That will teach the IPU a lesson it will never forget.
Just a thought.
scribble, His morals may be flimsy, but not THAT flimsy. Remember the 8 I’d rather’s. It says something about only with consent… So He’d never ever do that.
They are the 8, “I’d rather YOU didn’ts”, not the 8, “I’d rather I didn’ts”. All I’m saying is that if the battle gets fierce enough the FSM can always turn to rape. He has INFINITE appendages. He is practically built for sex. (by built I mean he came out of nothing)
PS: I’m just usuing Chistian arguments to condone my claim to make a point if you don’t get it. Example: Thou shalt not kill….. and god killed millions of people in the bible. If it’s his will, then it’s okay. You must learn any argument Christians use we can as well.
Also I’m aware of the rather you didn’ts (I bought the book forever ago) and it says nothing about the FSM not being able to rape an invisible pink horsey.
The IPU(bbhhh) is totally a sex goddess. She would take the FSM’s “rape” and beg for more, until every one of those noodley appendages was worn out. Then she wins, and they’re both happy.
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That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
@Bill-They’re simply not imaginative enough–flying gods are the best kinda god out there!
@Batman- Oh yeah, didn’t realize that. Hah, in all honesty I shouldn’t be making fun of ANYONE’S spelling….mine’s at about the skill level as an infant’s! (Gahh, why am I posting?? I have a huge essay to write!)
if its invisible how do we now its pink?
RAmen, RAmen to all!
@Delta Whiskey
An excellent point, I hadn’t thought of that. While the FSM has the ability to infinitly rape the pony, the sick little pony is a sex goddess and could infinitly take it……….
And if the pony is a sex goddess then there would be consent and the FSM wouldn’t be able to rape it at all. Rather, it would be a sex fest like none other…..
and if the FSM with his infinite appendages has sex with the pony’s infinite ability to take it….
ALAS! this war is going to end with creation of an infiniate amount of flying invisible pink spaghetti unicorns.
hmmm…… maybe the sex approach is a bad idea.
Is it possible the FSM and IPU could get married?
Why the battle, why can’t we all just get along?
or……… oh no…….. no…….. push it away….. I just had a thought….. what if the IPU is the FSM?
I’ll put in some research into the possibility.
@scribble
“ALAS! this war is going to end with creation of an infiniate amount of flying invisible pink spaghetti unicorns.
hmmm…… maybe the sex approach is a bad idea.”
.
Hehehehehehe….:)
RAmen scribble
@scribble
I think Wench Nikkiee makes good point…these little invisible pink horned pasta monsters would be spikey and slippery. Easily stepped on by pedestrians and likely to cause a fall or injecting magical unicorn venom into unsuspecting victims…anyone who’s ever had a Guiness hangover knows the dangers of which I speak…
@Thumper
“Easily stepped on by pedestrians and likely to cause a fall or injecting magical unicorn venom into unsuspecting victims…anyone who’s ever had a Guiness hangover knows the dangers of which I speak…”
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Giggle giggle giggle……hehehehehehe
Arghh….I really do have to catch up on some work…it’s not fair (*stamps feet*)
RAmen
@ Wench Nikkiee - “it’s not fair (*stamps feet*)” - I know the feeling! I’ve been away for a couple of days and get withdrawls when I have to be responsible instead of playing here! :)
@ Thumpie - I hope you are still out there. I wanted to tell you that my 5-year-old niece gave me a great hand-drawn picture this weekend of a rabbit eating some lettuce. I told her that I have a friend who’s nickname is Thumper and I couldn’t wait to tell him she drew a picture of him! Also, a few days back I went to the link off your name, and *Rowdy chokes up* I don’t know how you made it through all the wabbit wejection. But, I’m glad you did.
@Wench Nikkiee
My work load is starting to catch up with me and I fear that unless a wealthy Pastafarian benefactor offers me a full time position as “ambassador” to pursuit of god my posting days of plenty are numbered…
@Rowdy
Hello. I see your neice has very fine taste in art…I hope she wrote “Thumper” somewhere visible on the piece. Good to see she has the wabbit eating fresh healthy produce such as “lettuce”…when she draws a wabbit with an eye patch and a beer you might like to consider some form of “parental control device” on your ‘puter…My 10 year old daughter has a long history of wabbit art…FSM bless her little heart…
@ Thumpie - Unfortunately, she didn’t write “Thumper” anywhere…but I still know it’s you!! :) I know my brother visits this site occasionally, so I’ll watch out for eye patches on her pictures!! I hope you mean that your posting days to the pursuit of god website are numbered…and not your posting days here!
@Rowdy
Alas there will be a lot less (not none) posting anywhere…I’ve been mega busy, I’m moving in with my other half and I’m about to embark upon further study…unless???…*wabbit scratches lottery ticket*…yup…it’s like I said earlier…
@ Thumpie - “*wabbit scratches lottery ticket*…yup…it’s like I said earlier…” - hahahaha! Good luck with the move! Exciting! I have further study I need to embark on as well. I need to keep moving in my knowledge in my professional life, and build up my clientele. I really do enjoy the time I can spend here. I posted this comment a while back, but my husband says he likes my attitude changes since I became a wench! And I have another friend who says I’m getting funnier…I made her laugh for 3 hours the other day (part of that was while we were supposed to be working out at martial arts!!)
@Rowdy
“And I have another friend who says I’m getting funnier”…make sure your friend means funny “ha ha” and not funny “peculiar”…
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I forgot that you do kenpo killer karate…I’ve done a lot of taekwondo (traditional style) over 20 years (I’m not old I started young) and took up boxing three years ago when I hurt my knee…boxing is the best workout ever…I still haven’t had a fight as I’m frightened of getting punched in the face and spoiling my boyish good looks…I’ve been slack lately…had three weeks off…been eating bad and drinking too much…I hope I’m not nesting now that I’m in a committed relationship…
what a wonderful way to end a holy war! the IPU and the FSM have an invisible flying sex fest, have a bunch of little invisible-pink-sauce-covered-one-horned-multiple-appendaged-unshoden-hoofed-monsters whom we could all praise and glorify in peace and harmony!! perhaps petting them will fill one with peace, and they will multiply at will as the supply of true believers empowers them! all hail the future IPSCOHMAUHM’s !! :P
@Thumper
Oh that’s a terrible way to think, just because there are an infinate number of baby flying invisible unicorn spaghetti monsters lying around which are indeed spikey and slippery, it doesn’t mean they have to parade around with their horns held high for every drunk pedestrian to happen upon. Just cause they are infinate and everywhere, doesn’t mean they are “everywhere everywhere”. Take God for example, Christians claim that he is infinate and everywhere, but they say he isn’t like, “everywhere everywhere”. Such as, they don’t take kindly to the fact that God is “in my nutsack” as I might put it on a good day or “in your rotten vagina” as I might say on a bad day. They don’t take kindly to that at all, therefore insisting he isn’t “everywhere everywhere” just everywhere. As such these invisighetti flying pink unicorn monsters aren’t everywhere everywhere. Besides, they probably won’t grow full horns till they are way way older, say 12. Thats 4380000 earth years. (a day in heaven is 1000 years on earth after all) At any rate, they shouldn’t become of age until long after the human race has collapsed. I just don’t think it’s such a problem, that’s all. Besides, they would be sooooooo cute. It’s worth a couple o’ dead drunks. Just a few.
or……… the FSM could just fuck up the IPU severly in a head to head death match. Who does the IPU think it is anyway, it’s only like a level 5823746927 Unicorn, and it’s trying to take on a 9.938595739457 x 10^9999999999999999999 bowl of Spaghetti. What a lunatic pink horsey.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8UNoKmexA4&feature=PlayList&p=D975BE44F77D4E5C&index=5
This video was inspired by Him, and it depicts the absolute truth. And may all of you be forever touched by His Noodly Appendages.
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