hello. I came across your so call WEBSITE as a mistake. ok, I have one question for you. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? How can you honestly believe that spaghetti can have legs, arms, and a pulse at the least bit? Your web site is clearly a joke, and anybody that believes a “thing” can have MEATBALLS for eyes, is clearly disturbed and should seek help immediately. How can you people make such vulgar comments about the catholic and Christian religion? saying that we have to accept that God’s balls are larger than ours? that is clearly disrespectful to all Christians. If you wish to disrespect me, i will disrespect you, by saying that you are all a bunch of LOONS with mental disabilities. Worshiping spaghetti is like worshipping Poland just because they make good water! Oh, and one last thing. tomorrow night, while i am enjoying my wonderful plate of spaghetti, ill make sure i enjoy it. But, you can give me a call next time you see the flying spaghetti monster. I would give you my number, but I can guarantee you wont need it.
-e.f.
what the hell is wrong with you
Published by Bobby Henderson January 30th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 402 Comments
402 Responses to “what the hell is wrong with you”
Is your “god’s” blood type Palmieri or Ragu’?
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what the hell is wrong with YOU? you called him a loon,take a look at your self!
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I know it’s been said a few times now, but if that person truly believes that eyeballs and meatballs are one and the same he has real issues. He must get some nasty bouts of eye goo in the mornings! Nahh on a serious note – I wonder what the optition’s reaction was when he went in for a contact lense fitting. Horrified no doubt.
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“But, you can give me a call next time you see the flying spaghetti monster. I would give you my number, but I can guarantee you wont need it.”
Yeah and you can give ma a call next time jesus comes back. I’m sure it will be ANY day now….
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when you get that call, can you then call me and tell me? maybe we can start a phone tree so we can all be informed.
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The concept of faith, my dear e.f, is a deep belief and unwavering love of that which cannot be proven. My faith in His Noddliness is such that by merely stepping outdoors I feel bathed in His love and the wonder that is Him. I need not see proof to know the divine touch of His Holiness the Flying Spaghetti Monster is everpresent.
For those who require proof, it is abundant all around the great world He has born into existence. Open your eyes and you will see Truth.
Glory be to Him.
RAmen.
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Wench Beth
Feb 6th, 2007 at 1:30 am
To Red DutchPasta Kidd… I was in Denmark once, for one day. Took the ferry from Malmø to Copenhagen (this was before they built the bridge/tunnel). It was very nice and I wish I had had more time there. I have just met a friend this year who lives in a tiny town in Denmark (can’t remember the name) so I would like to visit her some time. I’d also like to see Holland.
*
Do, if you want any tips or ideas just let me now.
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To Red DutchPasta Kidd… tusen takk for the offer! I just remembered where my friend lives in Denmark; it’s a town called Rødkærsbro. Ever heard of it? I hadn’t :) Now Holland seems to me to be a place which would be much more conducive to ideas like Pastafarianism. Well, as I’ve said before, if the GOP wins again in ‘08, I’ll be looking for a new country to call home. Maybe Holland will take in an American refugee…!
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‘anybody that believes a “thing†can have MEATBALLS for eyes, is clearly disturbed and should seek help immediately‘
Well, I suppose we’re safe then, as the FSM does in fact not have meatballs for eyes.
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OK, he’s (or she? apologies) convinced me. I now worship Poland :D
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“MEATBALLS for eyes…”
I think you are disturbed for thinking the meatballs are eyes. They are obviously not. How about trying out your own pair of eyes?
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I’m with chemstudent. Clearly the FSM has both eyes and meatballs. I’m not a theologicalzoologist so I’d hate to speculate on what the FSM uses them for – besides recreation.
RAmen
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This is an interesting point. What are the FSM’s eyes made out of? Does anyone know. I would have thought pasta but he does have meatballs as part of his anatomy.
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hello.
Hi…
I came across your so call WEBSITE as a mistake.
why so called…? it is actually a website you know and yes, i am inclined to agree that it was a mistake
ok, I have one question for you.
shoot…
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
are you a doctor…? if not how can you claim anything is wrong with me?
How can you honestly believe that spaghetti can have legs, arms, and a pulse at the least bit?
it’s more believable than your irritable toddler of a god
Your web site is clearly a joke,
no, it’s a website, we cleared that up earlier… you creationists never listen
and anybody that believes a “thing†can have MEATBALLS for eyes, is clearly disturbed and should seek help immediately.
we don’t believe it has meatballs for eyes, his noodleness just has eyes
How can you people make such vulgar comments about the catholic and Christian religion?
you guys just make it too easy for us
saying that we have to accept that God’s balls are larger than ours? that is clearly disrespectful to all Christians.
no, it’s a fact, get over it and drive on
If you wish to disrespect me, i will disrespect you, by saying that you are all a bunch of LOONS with mental disabilities.
Say that all you want, you’re wrong but I can’t fault you on your lack of observational skills
Worshiping spaghetti is like worshipping Poland just because they make good water!
yes, they make good water, the deserve praise, surely?
Oh, and one last thing. tomorrow night, while i am enjoying my wonderful plate of spaghetti, ill make sure i enjoy it.
be my guest, you are worshiping his noodleness just by eating spaghetti products, who am i to stop you?
But, you can give me a call next time you see the flying spaghetti monster.
you haven’t been listening much have you? he’s usually invisible
I would give you my number, but I can guarantee you wont need it.
don’t worry about it, here’s my number – 666
-e.f.
~The Blame Bunny
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Do I have to say it again. Follow your own religion before you go trying to “fix” someone elses.
I thought the Christian faith was all about converting other people and showing them God’s love. By being disrespful of us you have ruined all chances of us ever wanting to convert to your religion. You have condemmed us to your hell and maybe yourself to because you put no effort into trying to save us.
I know my pastor(yes I do happen to go to a regular church) would say that God sent you to this website because he wanted you to do something about it. Have you? No. Thus you are hypocritical, the very reason that I have little respect for the Christian faith.
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Hey… good point.
I’m gonna go start a cult of the Flying poland water monster!
THank you for the idea!
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Oh no, there’s already a schism! *Weep*
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Pfft, schisms are a dime a dozen round here. So far we had the alfredoists, the flying bread monster, the heretical POoD cult (purple oyster of doom), and countless other lesser attempts.
The alfredoists were the only ones that last, because everyone knows carbonara and such are just as good as marinaras, whereas purple oysters, and bread, just don’t cut it.
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Well, which sauce does the official CoFSM approve of?
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Any and all.
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So, do the Alfredoists reject all others? What’s the problem?
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There was a schism early in the piece. Basically it came down to;
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Mainstream Church, with the FSM being made with tomato based sauces, and pirates being his chosen people.
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Church of the Reformed Alfredoists, with creamy sauces and ninjas.
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The schism no longer exists, except among the more radical sects. I myself come from the Carbonarist branch of the Alfredos.
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Of course, you could just read Uncyclopedia…
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*cough* Poland spring is not in Poland. It’s in Maine. I live atop its aquifer. And honestly, it’s polluted.
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I will contact you when I see the fsm, but only if you promise to contact me when you see your god.
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Gah! The italics are distorting my sense of balance… admins, rectify this glitch before I am forced to take drastic measures, hack the server, and fix it myself. ;-D
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@ giberish: I’ve seen God. Several times. But then, I’ve also seen the FSM several times, so there you go.
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@ Cait O’ 9 Tales: The FSM’s eyes are made out of vitreous humour and sclera. At least, that’s what the Corinthian told me when he ate one of them. The Corinthian usually tells the truth. Usually.
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Is the FSM’s body composed of pan-Asian noodles or Italian noodles? I’ve never been certain. Ramen (RAmen!) is a pan-Asian noodle, but he’s the flying SPAGHETTI monster, after all. In pictures he usually appears to be composed of linguini. Which is it, O my Lord?! I must know!
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well…i find it mind blwingly hilarious that you think this is in any way serious. and i find your narrow minded approach to other peoples beliefs to be scary. you are the kind of person who insites racial hatred
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well…i find it mind blowingly hilarious that you think this is in any way serious. and i find your narrow minded approach to other peoples beliefs to be scary. you are the kind of person who insites racial hatred
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any better
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that ?
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Nope! Marc McOar – we need your html skills.
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Mr G.Hadd (funny :))
Who is that comment aimed at?
Thanks
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fixing
should be right
Don’t know why Firefox wouldn’t post
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fine I’ll just flood the end tags
If that doesn’t work, I give up.
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@ Mr G Hadd .. You are the kind of person who insites racial hatred.
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Excellent pun this on this being a web site.
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If you were looking for “incites”; as in provokes, stimulates, goads, inflames, then you may have been barking up the wrong verb.
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When checking “incites” in your Oxford of Websters don’t forget to look up “irony” as well.
and remember: Always look on the bright side of life..
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Quolnok Feb 21st, 2007 at 6:00 am “fine I’ll just flood the end tags If that doesn’t work, I give up.”
Pheew, back to normal again. Thanks!
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@e.f.
“anybody that believes a “thing†can have MEATBALLS for eyes, is clearly disturbed”
Yes, maybe true (although I see that you call “thing” anyThing that does not look like you youreself think God looks like). But then I have a question for you. Do you believe God (your “thing”) looks like humans? Do you think that that is rationally more obvious than having meatballs for eyes?
For if it is, how did He create all other animals? He took Himself to inspire Himself to create humans. What inspired Him to create animals?
Honestly, I find no logical reason to choose one appearance or another, even if we get to agree that God exists. Certainly, it is not our chouce to decide what He looks like, He is what it is.
If you see Him before we see FSM, give us a call yourself.
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“Worshiping spaghetti is like worshipping Poland just because they make good water!”
My Grandparents were from Poland but they didn’t worship water or Poland or whatever. Maybe that’s “cause Poland Springs water is from Poland Springs Maine.
However, Grandma did use Pasta to make the wrappings for delicious perogis. I guess his noodly appendage reaches everywhere
Dobranoc!
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you so call WEBSITE?? Dear FSM!
RAmen
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also, how did you ‘accidentally’ come across this site, I can’t imagine a situation in which an obviously sane and secure person like yourself would enter the words ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’ into google, just to see what would happen. My theory is that FSM guided you here, and yuo can’t deny it!
Yar
RAmen
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This isn’t a bible class site?
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@ Lunip – Bwahahaha! Kinda sorta I suppose! :))
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Mentall disabilities?
Why would you say somthing like that?
people with mental disabilties are people, you can not say stuff like that unless you are joking. But you you fucking poor excuse for a humanbeing should go fuck himself with a shuvel, or a razor blade!
so get a fucking life then grow some balls and hang yourself by them.
your sincerly
ZEKE
(ps. Pirates rock and our lord, the OH GREAT NOODLY ONE rocks too)
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Clearly a joke…..(*heavy sarcasm*)NOOOOOO! Although, we arn’t actually a joke, I like to think of us as an intelligent satire. (Bless me FSM for I have sinned against your holy name…….)
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Salutations, fellow anti Spaghetti-ist!
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who said the fsm has arms, legs or a pulse? He is just pure noodly goodness.
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E-mail me next time you see ANY other God, I mean god. I would give you my E-mail but I can guarentee you won’t need it. Oh, and the lrics for the song I am listening to is quite appropriate- “Fools must pretend to be wise/ With the faith that they use as a heavy disguise”
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Okay, genius- Poland Springs is from Maine. (And it really isn’t that good tasting, IMHO. The best is the Icelandic water)
Sorry, that was really bugging me- My problem is OCD
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“Oh, and one last thing. tomorrow night, while i am enjoying my wonderful plate of spaghetti, ill make sure i enjoy it.”
Then you will be partaking in the holy sacriment of FSM.
May His Noodly Appendage touch you.
RAmen.
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Does the bible state the size of god’s balls?
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you have no more right to put down any ones religion no more then they have to put down yours no matter how insane you think it is (besides fsm is very scientific and very provable)
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Haha, Poland doesn’t make water, silly. They just bottle and sell it.
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