hello. I came across your so call WEBSITE as a mistake. ok, I have one question for you. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? How can you honestly believe that spaghetti can have legs, arms, and a pulse at the least bit? Your web site is clearly a joke, and anybody that believes a “thing” can have MEATBALLS for eyes, is clearly disturbed and should seek help immediately. How can you people make such vulgar comments about the catholic and Christian religion? saying that we have to accept that God’s balls are larger than ours? that is clearly disrespectful to all Christians. If you wish to disrespect me, i will disrespect you, by saying that you are all a bunch of LOONS with mental disabilities. Worshiping spaghetti is like worshipping Poland just because they make good water! Oh, and one last thing. tomorrow night, while i am enjoying my wonderful plate of spaghetti, ill make sure i enjoy it. But, you can give me a call next time you see the flying spaghetti monster. I would give you my number, but I can guarantee you wont need it.
-e.f.
402 Responses to “what the hell is wrong with you”















@Navigator Spider:
You are using a slipery slope arguement to explain why certain seemingly harmless religions are bad. The problem with slippery slope arguements is that they only explain why trends are bad, not why actions are bad. I agree that militant fundamentalists harm humanity, but your only arguement for why deists are bad, unless I misunderstood you, was that they might lead to militant fundamentalists.
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The obvious counterarguement is that any intelligent religious person (if there are any) could make is that atheists and people who question the existence of absolute ethical laws are not to be tolerated because they are a slippery slope that could lead towards Stalin. Regardless, for the sake of arguement, I will accept that deism is absolutely and unquestionably evil.
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Even when I do that, you still haven’t answered my question about how you can actually destroy religion such that it will never respawn. You have clearly stated that you don’t support burning books, and I’m quite glad to hear it because I hate the idea as well. However, I don’t see what else you plan on doing. Unless you kill every religious person, destroy every religious book and artifact, and finally destroy anything that alludes to the existence of religion, you run the risk of more religions forming. Even then you would have to contend with the fact that people want to believe, and can reinvent the idea. Would you propose a religion thought-police to maintain your religion free world?
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Propose the alternate strategy, and I would be glad to hear it, because the way I see it now, I either have to hurt people and ideas to protect other people and other ideas, or I have to tolerate religion. I’d rather do the later than the former, but if you have a third option, I’m all ears.
-Avatar of Reason.
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I do, of course, have the hope that humanity will wisen up and not preach their lies to each other, but that seems to me to be nothing more than an idle dream.
-Avatar of Reason
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thats basically it, we need to hope people will move on. they won’t of course in the near future but we need to try otherwise we will never got there. As for the slippery slope argument, i consider it an important one, but more important is that of justification. otherwise we are accepting beliefs on their results not their basis. As an example a staunch catholic has just as much evidence as a relaxed one, yet they would inflict their rigid system on a child, so we would call that “bad” – but only from our point of view. from his he is fully justified as his faith tells him (or her of course) to do it. to take this to an extreme you have people who commit horrendous atrocities – but here is the important bit, from their point of view they are fully justified in doing so. I argue however that it is faith that is wrong, not the purpose to which it is applied. Like a crime – it is wrong, drink driving for instance is to be abhored; whether you manage to get away without an accident or not is largely irrelevant, it is the first principle that needs to be combatted.
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@ Avatar (Feb 1st, 2007 at 1:42am)
1) How do you propose we deal with a religion that does not yet exist?
2) Deism is a religious philosophy, not a specific religion. They can come from any religious background. While prominent in the 17th century, the advent of the Industrial Revolution saw their numbers decline. Many tend to lean towards Agnosticism today.
3) Have you read Richard Dawkin’s “The God Delusion”? He puts it much more eloquently than I could ever dream of doing.
The burning books suggestion is just ridiculous. Religious texts should be regarded for what they are: allegorical anecdotes, and used as examples of what believing in fairytales can lead to. The very reason copies of Adolph Hitler’s “Mein Komf” still exist. Education is the key to understanding.
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as an aside, religious texts do help corroborate historical events, characters, natural diasasters and so on… but like any old text, they have to be taken with a pinch of salt, or maybe the odd barrel full….
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@Navigator Spider:
Now that you have elaborated on your opinions, I must state that while I might not agree with them entirely, we are on the same page. I hope that we can agree to disagree on this one issue. I prefer to fight religion defensively, and you offensively, but we are on the same side of the struggle.
@Captain Mad John Kidd
1.) My comment is that it might be theoretically possible to have a religion that does no harm. I was stating that I can think of no good reason why such a religion would need to be abolished for the betterment of humankind. Maybe you can. Alternatively, you can state that no harmless religion could exist. Slippery slope arguments don’t tend to persuade me, unless you can prove that they are slippery enough, so to speak, that the realization of the problem at the bottom of the slope is inevitable. Any one of those proofs would neutralize my argument.
2.) If deism is not a religion, are you agreeing that it is okay to tolerate deists? I know one who is very much alive, and he, due to his deism, believes in a god. Why is his leap of faith okay where others are not? Do you object to dogma, or god?
3.) I have not (yet) read The God Delusion. It’s one of the books that I want to read someday, but I don’t have much time for it now. I have heard a few clips of interviews with him, and I respect him. My major problem with his philosophy is that he, too, takes a leap of faith. To say that the existence of god is improbable is fair. To say that no god could possibly exist is a leap of faith. I, because I don’t believe what I cannot prove, I can’t know that god isn’t real. I can’t embrace his philosophy. I must remain an agnostic, because faith based atheism seems little better than religion as a theory. (My comment is about atheism as a theory, not as a practice. I agree that in practice, religions tend to produce violence far more often than atheism.)
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Lastly, my comment about book burning was not ridiculous in the sense that destroying a religion entirely relies on destroying its ideas and beliefs. My old religion was the victim of such attacks more than once. Book burning is one of the first things people try when they seek to demoralize those who practice a given faith. I agree that atheists and agnostics might not burn books ourselves, and that the existence of a book does not logically imply the existence of a believer in that book, but I was trying to state that destroying a religion is a difficult task, and one with potentially nice ends but questionable means.
-Avatar of Reason
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Fair enough. You are quite correct in that i no longer wish to just sit back and ignore religion as it has nothing for me. It has enjoyed its protected position for too long. As i tried to describe i find the slippery slope argument secondary compared to that of justification. I do not agree that deism has a place in a civilised world. the fact that although a person survived a near death experience (obviously we should be pleased he has) i agree with “Why is his leap of faith okay where others are not?” as far as i am concerned it isn’t.
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to use the crime analogy again, the enthusiasm with which i would go after a belief is related to its effects, in the same way the seriousness of a crime determines the punishment and resources allocated to fighting it. But i still view any religion as wrong because it is simply not true and propogates a lie. I wholeheartedly agree that no “leap of faith” has preference over another, and i condemn them all…
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We agree that stopping religion (or destrying it) is incredibly hard. convincing the world that it was round was as well, it took hundreds of years. But thats no reason why we should not try
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Getting rid of religion requires more of a change of economic circumstances. Religions flourish most among the underprivileged, the poor and those who, having little hope in the current political or economic system, pin their hopes on an afterlife which will reward them for their present suffering. Once you remove the oppressive economic conditions you remove the need for a supernatural prop, ie when you are happy with your life, job, income, place of residence etc you don’t need a supernatural being; this is why so many scientists and other intellectuals in the West, who have good lives materially, are atheists; they have outgrown the need for gods. Although it is contrary to the entire Capitalist ethos anyone who is serious about wanting to get rid of religion by getting rid of the circumstances that cause it should be espousing a raising of educational standards by devoting far greater resources to schooling and introducing a taxation system which helps the poor out of welfare dependency and gives them self respect. Of course you are still going to have idiots who advance religious ideas and the deliberately idle who would take all the benfits on offer but refuse to engage in the social contract but that’s just human nature. The fact that you could improve the lot of most people at the expense of allowing some fools to prosper is a price worth paying.
One other way of suppressing religion would be to prohibit it being taught in schools. In Britain we have a petition on the web asking the government to withdraw state funding to all “faith” schools and another asking for the teaching of religion to be forbidden in schools. I suspect that we are all 400 years ahead of our time in that it will probably take that long for the economic situation to improve sufficiently for most people to grow out of religion; anything we can do in the meanwhile to hasten that day along via debate and argument and simply by “bearing witness” (in the christians’ own phrase) to the merits of a religion-free life has to be a good thing. (Pastafarian conduct does just these things of course!!!!!)
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Wow, alot has happened shince i’ve been gone and alot of really long posts that i don’t have time to read. I think i agree with Hannah though, i’m getting pretty tired of the intolorance of some people. Im a Christian, not a fundie, but i keep getting roped in with them. Alot of people automatically assume that Christian = Fundie… not true.
Also, i am republican. But i hate Bush, i don’t care if your gay or not and the war in Iraq has turned into a fiasco. But for some reason, alot of people believe that all republicans want to trade blood for oil and cut down all the rainforests. Sorry to burst your bubble, but some of us are actually inteligent and socially aware and not all republicans eat babies (I know i rarely do, and only on special occasions)
I am republican because traditionally (and notice i said traditionally) republicans have stood for less government control and democrats want a larger more active government, i.e. affirmative action, gun control, bloated welfare budges blah blah blah. But at this point i don’t think i’m either, because both sides are retarded. If there was a viable third party that would take some control away from the government i would be all for it, but no third party will ever be elected in America. Besides, if Hillary gets elected the world is screwed. Anyone from any party would be better than Hillary.
If you don’t like America, then leave but don’t live here and then bash it. I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again… I love America, but our government and its officials are a joke.
Hannah, i agree with you. I wish we could do something about the intolorance but unfortunately we can’t. But as a fundie republican baby eater i guess the only solution i can come up with is to blow them up and then eat their babies, and maybe cut down some trees while we’re at it.
-Baby Eater (formerly Dr.Worm)
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Come on guys, can’t you just believe in a 2000 year old carpenter like everyone else?
RAmen
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I’d rather believe in a lion headed snake that created the world with power he took from God’s daughter Sophia, until he lost it when he created Adam and Eve. They then passed it on to the great SETH.
By the way what is Hell in your religion?
And what does Italy mean to you?
RAmen
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Dr.worm, Ramen Dr.worm.
It seems that some have lost site of the FSM,
I am not here to kill all religion.
I’ve stated many times I think we all need something to believe in.
I choose to believe in myself, that is my choice.
I have no desire to start a war against religion, nor does the FSM.
Only against those who try to push their beliefs on others.
That is the whole reason behind the FSM, and the reason I am here.
Keep the faith Dr Worm.
Ramen
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My good Dr. Worm. Do you usually eat your babies raw or do you microwave them for a bit first?
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Hiya Lolli. Just a quick post and run for now! Catch you later on.
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@Snaggles
I don’t think we have a hell, what would we punish people for?
A place in Europe mainly populated with italians.
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Hell just seems to be an ineffective means of threatening people with damnation for not acting and believing as they do. Or as some book says they should.
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They keep saying we’re going to hell, but we can’t figure out if it’s in the Caimans, Kentucky, or Norway? I can’t wait to go if it’s in the Caimans.
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@Lolli, thanks for the support. See, you get it, why can’t other people. I’m not tring to push my beliefs and i don’t have the time or energy to bash the beliefs of other people. If you want to believe in yourself thats fine, no complaints here. I kinda suck as a person so believing in myself would be nothing but a let down but if it works for you then go for it.
@Alchemist- you never want to microwave a baby, for the same reason you never microwave a good steak, it ruins the flavor and makes the meat chewy. And i can’t believe you asked if i eat them raw… thats just ignorant. I’m a republican not a wild animal, raw meat is full of germs and parasites, i know better. The best way to prepare baby is on a spit slow roasted over a fire… like a pig. You know in some canibal cultures the word for people translates to “long pig”. I think Fat Bastard said it best in Austin Powers… “baby, the other other white meat.” If you need any more advice on preparing a baby, look for my book “All You Need to Know About Eating Babies”. You can find it at all reputable retail stores next to Peter Popoffs Miracle Water.
RAmen
Dr.Worm
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@BobfromEngland
I agree, but I think the need for religion goes deeper than socioeconomic circumstances. A lot of it seems to have to do with the fear of permanent loss, which I can understand. If by some horrible event my son died I would be desperate to be able to believe anything if it told me I would be able to see him again one day, and that the person I had loved so much had not gone for ever. Same goes for just about everyone I think. Could explain why some people get more religious as they get older. More people they loved have died and they really really want to see them again. Maybe we’ll get rid of religion when we cure death. Until then I think there’ll always be a part of people that wants to believe we won’t have to be alone.
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-e.f. I read with interest your post regarding your ire at the expressions of belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I think you may be in danger of actually trying to place yourself higher than God (whatever you percieve God to be). It is a very unusual omnipotent deity that would be bothered about such expressions of view, why do you presume to be able to speak for your God?
It has just occured to me that perhaps you are the Pope and therefore you actually do speak for your God. If you are the Pope then I’m sorry – not sorry that you’re the Pope, of course, simply for the frailty of my argument.
Avast behind me hearties!
RAmen
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aaarrrrr me hearties,
this has all got a bit on the esoteric and philosophical side, with the for and against debate for religion… i’m as guilty as anyone for it i know so at the risk of repetition i’ll state my opposition against religion in all its various guises.
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coz it’s a lie.
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tried to get it down to less words, sorry…
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@Navigator Spider
I agree with you about this debate. We’ve pretty much been debating why we agree that debating fundies when they send hate mail to this website is a good thing to do. Does it really matter why we bash the fundies, as long as we are bashing fundies? Lets just agree to disagree about why we agree.
@Dr. Worm
I have stated before that I have no problem with non-militant non-missionary Christians. I would never confuse you for a fundie.
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I have to say that all this debating is getting a little tiresome. Why don’t we all just agree to work on a way to raise funds for a pirate ship (like the one on the home page)so we can all just lay around in the sun and pillage when we get bored. I vote that for our fist pillaging experience we hit up some liquor stores and grocery stores, that way we can be good and drunk for any subsequent pillaging. Does anyone know how to sail, cause i sure as hell don’t. Although i’m sure i can figure it out if i’m durnk… i can do anything when i’ve been drinking for a few hours. And even if we can’t figure it out we can just drop anchor and continue to get hammered. Either way its a win win situation.
RAmen
Dr.Worm
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Praise his name! FSM is the true creator.
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@ Dr. worm:
Couldn’t agree more, especially about the theological disputation. A word of caution, though: once seriously drunk, one tends to forget about wenches, who are really mostly both decorative and nice, and need to be brought along for intellectual company. (…maybe some are intolerant of drinking, though…) We shouldn’t stop at ports without strippers.
PS: saw a great picture a few years ago of a sailboat in a race – its spinnaker was blown out straight in front of the boat, and the guy holding the halyard had been jerked pretty much to the top of the mast. Even us pirates might be sobered up by that….
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A word of caution, though: once seriously drunk, one tends to forget about wenches.”
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I say nonsense! Get me drunk, point me to the Wenches!
Wenches beware!
As far as sailing, I’ve been in a Regatta or three.
Can’t remember if I know how to sail or not though?
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@Lolli P.
You’re right, of course – should have realized I was speaking for myself, LOFLMAO. Ash long ash one is shober enough to know a wench when one sheesh one….
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Intolerant of drinking!! I could drink you under the table! Pass the grog!
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I know plenty of fine wenches who could drink many a pirate under the table. Not me yet, though.
And I emailed Bobby my suggestion for fundraising: get a booth at Gencon^_^
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I could drink all o’ ye under a table. Assuming you’re already under the table to begin with, *hearty laugh*.
RAmen
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Oh dear. Looks like I’m certainly in the minority here for this issue! Hahah.
Not to delay a debate that’ll just end up going in circles any further, but there’s one thing Nav.Spider said I’d like to comment on: “If we concede that a deist is harmless, and entiltled to hold his beliefs how can you then criticise a more extreme believer?” Because there IS a difference between the two. The first diest isn’t bothering you or anyone else. The second diest is. Everyone has the right to believe whatever they want, until they try to push it on others. You don’t have to like, or even respect their beliefs. You can absolutly abhore them. For instance, I loathe what the KKK think, and couldn’t respect them LESS if I tried–but until they come to my door and start ranting they have the right to think what they think.
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And yes, you can try to change a thiest’s mind through debate or similar avenues, but at the end of the day they’re not going to change their mind unless they want to.
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And yes, in case you couldn’t tell I’m not at all for trying to rid the world of religion, because religion isn’t the actual PROBLEM, if you ask me. People are the problem. Religion isn’t alive, it’s a thing, a mindset, a catagory of beliefs. *People* people are good or *people* are evil. They always will be good or evil, whether they have religion or not. Religion might make it easier for someone to excuse doing wrong–but something tells me that without it they’d find a way to do wrong all the same.
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If I know someone’s an athiest/agnostic, then fine. Good for them, whatever. I won’t be inviting them to temple then, I guess. (Not that I go to temple these days myself…) I might not agree with them 100% personally, doesn’t mean I can’t respect them or ‘agree to disagree’, as it were. And at the same time, I’d expect the same respect from that athiest, not because I believe in God, but because I’m a PERSON who–I like to think–deserves to be treated decently and not told I’m being stupid/foolish/naive/immature/weak every five seconds.
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Kay, done now.
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Two things about drinking:
1. It takes years to get good at.
2. If you’re really good at it, you don’t realize it.
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There’s probably more then just two things about drinking,
but those are the only two I know of.
Oh, yeah, there is something about twelve steps or something like that?
Someone told me about that once, but I forgot.
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Very good rant gill^_^ I agree.
Though I have to admit on my bad days I might lean a bit more towards Spider.
but seriously, if they keep it to themselves in all ways it really shouldn’t be a problem.
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Ramen to you too, Gill!
Ramen
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Just to unite the theology, drinking, and wenching themes above, let me offer:
“Every man must believe in something; I believe I’ll have another drink.”
and
“I fell in love with a woman some years ago; she drove me to drink, and I never even had the decency to thank her.”
—inexact quotes from W. C. Fields—
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Without pissing anybody off, (anymore then I aready have).
Once ANYBODY, feels it is up to themselves to decide what,
ANYBODY, else has a right to believe in, or not believe in.
They have become just as annoying as the fundies we so love to battle.
Live and let live!
Period,
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Live and let die!
RAmen Lolli RAmen
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In regards to the post by, “henderob,” I would very much like to thank you for saying the individuals with disabilities would be the only ones to take stock in the possibility of a deity out side of the Christian, Judaic system of beliefs, even though there are millions of Hindi, and Muslims. These religions have been practicing for most of history (meaning recorded history). In fact Christianity is not even the most practiced, oldest, or uniform religion. But hey what do I know really do have a disability (Asperger’s Syndrome.)
On a side note perhaps that makes individuals with disabilities more intelligent then you are sir, and I know for a fact that many have better grammatical skills.
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Loli Popoff– exactly! Let us not presume to know what’s best for the whole wide world, lest we become just as hypocritical as our fundie friends. (No idea why I wrote that weird. It’s been a long day, haha.)
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Dread Wench L’TUAE– ^_^ Thanks!
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RAmen OEJ RAmen
I’m running out of RAmens people, stop ogreeing with each other so much!
What happened to Thumpy I miss Thumpy!
And Mike, it’s sad to say but I miss Mike too.
Where are all of our precious trolls? I love trolls so much!
I’m bored
^.^)>
^(^.^)^
v(^.^)v
RAmen
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But we do realize that “henderob” is only posting the mail he gets here right?
He didn’t write that, he is the prophet of the FSM, only sharing his mail with us.
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Pixely pop dude!
I read somewhere else that Thump and Mike.
Ran away together to get married and make little gay bunnie wabbits.
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I don’t know, what’s wrong with you?
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Hiya Lolli. Poor old Bobby getting the blame again :)
Thumper and Mike eh? Miserable bugger didn’t invite me to the wedding. I tell you, you go out of your way to be nice to someone and they don’t even invite you to a free piss-up! Scandalous. Nothing more than scandalous!
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@Pixel Pop: If you’re really desperate for a troll, I’m sure I can stand in until the next angry fundy/self-obsessed egomaniac turns up:
*Takes deep breath*
you are all CRAZY *£%@s who do obscene THINGS with OARS and ARE GOING TO HELL unless you REPENT to (Insert Deity of Choice) who LOVES you VERY MUCH.
P.S. i ATE your GOD last NIGHT!!!1!1!!
I can do supercilious git too:
Look, it’s not your fault that you’re all stupid and believe in a fake spaghetti god. I’m an aetheist, so I’m better than you all, which is good, because otherwise I’d have to treat you like human beings.
P.S. I have a girlfriend… honestly…
On second thoughts, I’d really rather not keep this up.
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I know Alchemist, and you were nice to him and everything!
Just brings me back to what I’ve said all along…
He’s a bitch!
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@One eyed jack Feb 1st, 2007 at 3:26 pm
“In regards to the post by, “henderob,—
OEJ??? Doesn’t sound like you?
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LET ME TRY….. U R ALLL ************ U STUPPIDD ********** ********** ********* HAHAHA ************* **************8 *************!
HAHAHAHAHA OARS ********** HAHAHA
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This is my first posting, although I discovered the site and the One and True God-The FSM about a month ago. Until that glorius moment of noodly clarity, I had been blindly following the teachings of Founder Ryan, leader (in the pharmacy I work in) of the Posiedonites, followers of the (I now know false) God Posiedon, God of the oceans and of horses( who knew?). Since being touched by His Noodly Appendage, I have found the true path to living a good and decent life. I went right out and purchased the Gospel of the FSM, because as everyone knows you can’t have a religion without a book, other wise how would you know what is right and what is wrong? I hope to get to know you fellow Pastafarians better in the future! Aaaarrrggh, & Ramen! Oh, yeah and pass the grog to me too, I practicaly grew up on a sail boat, was even shipwrecked once and can probably drink most of you males under the table as well!
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Welcome Ta-Tech, May you be forever touched.
Oh yeah, I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
Ramen
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