what the hell is wrong with you

Published by Bobby Henderson January 30th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism).

hello. I came across your so call WEBSITE as a mistake. ok, I have one question for you. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? How can you honestly believe that spaghetti can have legs, arms, and a pulse at the least bit? Your web site is clearly a joke, and anybody that believes a “thing” can have MEATBALLS for eyes, is clearly disturbed and should seek help immediately. How can you people make such vulgar comments about the catholic and Christian religion? saying that we have to accept that God’s balls are larger than ours? that is clearly disrespectful to all Christians. If you wish to disrespect me, i will disrespect you, by saying that you are all a bunch of LOONS with mental disabilities. Worshiping spaghetti is like worshipping Poland just because they make good water! Oh, and one last thing. tomorrow night, while i am enjoying my wonderful plate of spaghetti, ill make sure i enjoy it. But, you can give me a call next time you see the flying spaghetti monster. I would give you my number, but I can guarantee you wont need it.
-e.f.

399 Responses to “what the hell is wrong with you”

1. 201 - February 1st, 2007 at 4:38 pm - Thumper Says:
   
   

   I’m thinking that some Pastafarians who decide that they no longer believe in monsters or monsterism may want to kiss and make up with God. Here’s some advice on how by way of a “burnt offering”. Women often say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and the “all mighty” is no exception.
   Leviticus 8:19
   “This burned offering was a food offering, and it’s odor was pleasing to the Lord.”
   .
   But what does God eat I hear you say? You may appease your significant other with a box of Belgium chockies but God is not quite so easy to please. Try this one:
   Leviticus 8:25-26
   “He took the fat, the fat tail, all the fat covering the internal organs, the best part of the liver, the kidneys with the fat on them, the right hind leg. Then he took one loaf of bread from the basket of unleavened bread dedicated to the Lord, one loaf made with oil, and one thin cake, and he put them on top of the fat and the right hind leg.”
   .
   This is the kind of sandwich that God likes. Please note that Ram was used in the above example but Bible Scholars (like me) believe that any animal of the clean non rock badger variety will be ok. If you are watching your weight you are best advised to continue getting sandwiches from Subway…the almighty probably has his own personal trainer.
   .
   Hope this has helped.

2. 202 - February 1st, 2007 at 4:44 pm - Homo narrans Says:
   
   

   if i want to kill and sacrifice for a blood-soaked monster-god, i’ll go eviscerate my local priest and offer his organs to sweet Cthulhu in hopes of merciful annhialation of the universe. until then, i’ll stick with peace-loving atheism/FSMism, thanks.

3. 203 - February 1st, 2007 at 4:47 pm - Marc McOar Says:
   
   

   That was not OEJ, I am sure. Please, my friend, think of another “handle”. That one is already taken. You can use One Eyed Fred.

4. 204 - February 1st, 2007 at 4:50 pm - Thumper Says:
   
   

   @Homo narrans
   I’m no FSM expert but wouldn’t “eviscerate my local priest and offer his organs to sweet Cthulhu” be in direct contravention of one of the “I’d rather you didn’ts”? Would the FSM punish you or does the FSM turn a blind appendage to breaking his rules?

5. 205 - February 1st, 2007 at 4:51 pm - Lolli Popoff Says:
   
   

   Thump, you pissed Alchemist off!
   Why didn’t you invite him to your wedding?

6. 206 - February 1st, 2007 at 4:54 pm - Homo narrans Says:
   
   

   @Thumper
   the events described are what i predict would happen should i ever turn from the light of FSM/atheism and take up the following of a blood-drinking interstellar monster such as Cthulhu or the Christian God. since am a pastafarian at the moment, however, i have no cause to do such things.

7. 207 - February 1st, 2007 at 4:57 pm - Alchemist Says:
   
   

   Homo narrans . Sorry mate, you can keep Cthulhu and chaos magic. I’m mad enough without it :)
   .
   Thumper. You’re like the Candy Man :). Say your name in the mirror three times and you arrive! How goes it?

8. 208 - February 1st, 2007 at 5:02 pm - Homo narrans Says:
   
   

   no sweat alchemist, i wasn’t planning on unleashing anything here. though you have to admit…there is a certain noodley quality to those monstrous Old Ones…?

9. 209 - February 1st, 2007 at 5:04 pm - God Says:
   
   

   Quoth The One True Bible:

   God 1:1 Figure it out for yourselves.
   God 1:2 Don’t pick on people so much.
   God 1:3 We’ll talk more when you’re dead.

   Discover its awesome power at TheOneTrueBible.com.

   Tithe often.

   God

10. 210 - February 1st, 2007 at 5:07 pm - Thumper Says:
    
    

    @Alchemist
    Nice to see you again. I have 40 cm ears that burn when people talk about me. Who said what and when? Otherwise I am well and alive…evidence that the Lord approves of what I’m doing here among the sinners.
    @Lolli
    Huh??? Wedding??? It warms my heart to see that you are well and in the condition that I last left you.

11. 211 - February 1st, 2007 at 5:14 pm - Greenbeard Says:
    
    

    @Thumper: You know, your marriage to MIKE.
    -
    What were the two of you thinking, not inviting anyone from here after spending so much time on this site?
    -
    It really was a huge disappointment.

12. 212 - February 1st, 2007 at 5:25 pm - Thumper Says:
    
    

    @Greenbeard
    Oh I see…been too busy to read over old posts so this delightfully engaging piece of wit escaped my notice…how was the wedding anyway? Did Mike wear white?…I’m guessing white’s not Mike’s colour. If Mike and I do decide to tie the knot you’ll be the first to know…fortunately being a rabid “fundy” I can’t live with him or “get funky” until we’re married and his surgery is finalised.

13. 213 - February 1st, 2007 at 5:47 pm - Alchemist Says:
    
    

    Homo narrans. hahaha. Yeah, Cthulhu does have a certain noodle like appearance. Bit too scary for me though. I’ll stick to, well, the floor if I don’t do some housework soon :)
    Ooh, full moon, I feel the urge to howl! Oooooooow

14. 214 - February 1st, 2007 at 6:04 pm - Lolli Popoff Says:
    
    

    Thump, how many of you are in there anyway?
    And how do you fit with all those oars?

15. 215 - February 1st, 2007 at 6:24 pm - JonL Says:
    
    

    @ Alchemist
    “I’ll stick to, well, the floor if I don’t do some housework soon :)”
    I’ve heard, that if you bind the appropriate wet cloths to a crawling baby’s hands and knees, it can do an excellent job of cleaning the floor.

16. 216 - February 1st, 2007 at 6:39 pm - Alchemist Says:
    
    

    JonL. Hahahahaha. I’ll have to borrow the neighbours kid then. Mine has four legs and barks a lot :)

17. 217 - February 1st, 2007 at 6:49 pm - Thumper Says:
    
    

    @Lolli P
    Q: What’s the difference between a tree?
    .
    .
    .
    A: An icecream because it doesn’t have windows.

18. 218 - February 1st, 2007 at 6:58 pm - Lolli Popoff Says:
    
    

    Thump.
    Your wit and smartfulness really impresses me.
    If I wern’t watching tv, I’d discuss with you, just stick around we’ll chat.

19. 219 - February 1st, 2007 at 6:59 pm - Alchemist Says:
    
    

    Ooh, ooh. Time for my favourite (clean) joke, again.
    .
    Soccer score
    Real Madrid, 1 : Surreal Madrid, fish
    .
    Thank you, thank you. No, your too kind. The applause is deafening me :)

20. 220 - February 1st, 2007 at 7:03 pm - Cap'n Fly Says:
    
    

    @Thumper Feb 1st, 2007 at 6:49 pm
    Don’t you think that is getting a little too deep?

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