You’re going to hell for degrading god to a pile of noodles. Have fun burning for an eternity. -Erik Vavro
You’re going to hell
Published by Bobby Henderson January 27th, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 1,271 Comments
1271 Responses to “You’re going to hell”
We are going to Norway excellent.
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Are they mailing out the tickets then?
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@eye witness
I hope not they would get stolen in the post unless they use a courier.
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Hurrah! Norway!
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I love it when fundies tell me I’m going to burn for all eternity in vats of boiling pewter & they always have that carefree attitude when they say it. Talk about compassion.
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See you in Norway
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Boiling Pewter
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Actually, our creator is not a “pile” of noodles, he is more of a ball of them. Look at the picture. And piles dont have appendages, especially not noodly ones. By the way, i would gladly go to norway…tickets please?
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What do you mean “degrading”? Noodles are wonderful! They’re the best thing since… actually, they’re better than sliced bread. As for burning, if I’m dead, I’ll have no body, and thus no nerves. I won’t feel a thing.
-Avatar of Reason
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If you’re going to damn us to Hell, at least make sure you spell God (note the capital G) correctly. You know how he (isn’t my god so no need to capitalize anything) hates those spelling errors.
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Almost forgot, when are we going? I just want to plan accordingly to the weather.
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@Mariner “If you’re going to damn us to Hell, at least make sure you spell God (note the capital G) correctly.”
Maybe he’s just seeing it broadly, and refers at more gods fearing to be promoted a ball of noodles.
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Oh carp! You mean we are all going to suffer in hell FOREVER unless we convert to Christianity? Oh no! I don’t give a carp!
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It’s funny how they think we are going to convert if they threaten us with hell.
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You should give a carp. And two bass while you are at it.
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Would not the noodly paradise that we believe awaits us all be technically what this poor soul might mistakenly conceive as his “hell” idea?
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To hell it is, then. Yay! I’ve always wanted to go to Norway…
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Any rockers out here tonight?
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maybe this means they’re finally sending tickets. But we shouldn’t count on it. They’ve always let us down before :(
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Forget Norway
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I wanna go see the liosn in Kenya
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I meant lions but liosn’s are good too
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I’ve been to Norway. Who’d have thought Hell would be so beautiful! But you’re right, at the end of the day it IS still hell, I’ve seen the price of beer there..
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@ADDGuy
Excellent idea. Had a holiday in Kenya last year. I recommend Samburu National Park. I didn’t see lions there, but lots of other wildlife. There are lions too, if you’re lucky you’ll see them. Otherwise try the Serengeti for an almost-sure chance.
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Brew your own! Pillage the beer truck when it arrives! Establish a bootleg run from Germany to deliver cheap booze!
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I’ve been to Hell. Had ice cream there, as a matter of fact. The one in Michigan, I mean.
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Credit where credit is due; so often we are told ‘Your going to Hell’.
Nice to see someone use the right word for a change…
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Another thread sending us all to hell.
For the record, I’ve spent years in hell.
Hell is otherwise known as, the st. stanislaus “bishop martyr” roman catholic church.
Located at: 123 Townsend Street
Buffalo, New York, USA.
Thanks for the send off though.
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Buffalo is pretty close to the “where Hell freezes over” line, isn’t it?
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Hi Marc, I do believe Buffalo is ON that line. Yep!
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To Erik Vavro… We Pastafarians *cannot* go to Hell because we do not believe in one. Only Christians can go to Hell. Sorry, dude, you’re in for a hot time. As for the rest of us, we’ll toast you at the beer volcano.
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Norwegians never did have a sense of humour.
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I must humbly disagree with you, LSM… perhaps many Norwegians can’t crack a smile but I know a couple who make me laugh my a** off :)
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Yeah, what Wench Beth said!
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Oh goodness. We’re all gonna burn! -screams sarcasticly- Oh well. FSM will not be blessing you dearie.
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Why yes I would like to be creamated thank you.
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Didn’t we vote to set course for the Hell on Grand Cayman last month on the “on going to hell thread”? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Grand_Cayman
And yet again, no bloody handcart? Erik, I am disappointed.
Well, if we’re going to the one in Norway, don’t forget the firewood. Otherwise, we’ll be spending a cold day….
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So, we have Hell in the Caymans,
Hell in Norway
( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Norway )
and Hell in Michigan
( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Michigan )
.
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I vote Norway… I like the cold (It’s 40-ish [Centigrade] outside right now)
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So, we have Hell in the Caymans,
Hell in Norway
( en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Norway )
and Hell in Michigan
( en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Michigan )
.
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I vote Norway… I like the cold (It’s 40-ish [Centigrade] outside right now)
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Hmmm, awaiting moderation ey… let’s see if this gets though without the http’s
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Much better.
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Oh! CMJK – you beat me to it! Yes, I am sure we voted on Grand Cayman.
I am terribly sorry to disappoint everyone, but I am a bit bogged down with work and trying to raise 2 young children at the moment, so I’ll give it a miss this time if that’s OK – send me a postcard though!
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Fancy a house swap Jingles? I am fed up with it being cold and dark.
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Hahahaha. Sure Booty… the cold would be wondeful. You walk outside here and it feels like you’ve been hit with a sledgehammer.
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@ Booty…”send me a postcard though!”
Will do, Bootylicious! But it won’t be the same without you.
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lol omg by far whoever believes in the shit is stupid i mean why the hell would u believe in spaghetti as ur god, lets see u either have nothing better to do with ur fucked up lifes, your gay, dont have a gf- dont know what a girl is,or u just need to see a doctor and phsycologist. anyways like i saw another guy say that ur the next jim jones im sure that he is right, cuz i doubt your religion if thats really what it is will get far at all.
sincerly, SHADOW//
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Mmmmm… Classy!
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@SHADOW//
That’s the worst attempt at hoax hate mail I’ve seen yet!
Here’s some advice, you need to read a little more of the genuine stuff first.
Your hate mail spelling is atrocious! You spelt “believes” correctly for a start as well as phsycologist!
Never mind have a read through some of the archive mail and I’m sure you’ll pick up bit more of a flare for it.
RAmen
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I don’t believe in hell – so there goes that argument.
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Oh and try to throw a few more capitals around too, ok. :)
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yay for the return of some true-to-badness inane hate! thanks for brightening my day, Erik Vavro. oh, and heaven and hell almost certainly do not exist, you delluded little fool.
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“Your hate mail spelling is atrocious! You spelt “believes†correctly for a start as well as phsycologist!”
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You mean psychologist? (Sorry)
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Anyway, @Shadow, we much prefer psychiatrists. They have a greater tendancy towards psychopharmacology, and as any one of them can tell you, the best way to calm someone is with a depressant.
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On a completely unrelated note (see, new paragraph), alcohol is a depressant. Comes in a wide range of tasty varieties for my… -uhh- YOUR consumption pleasure.
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@Homo narrans Jan 28th, 2007 at 4:14 am
“heaven and hell almost certainly do not exist, you delluded little fool.”
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Well….beer and stripper FSM Heaven most certainly exists, but not those scary/ fairy imaginary places the tripping xtian nuts are always on about .
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@Jingles Jan 28th, 2007 at 4:21 am
“You mean psychologist? (Sorry)”
Yes that’s it…where did I put my glasses I wonder.
RAmen
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“Well….beer and stripper FSM Heaven most certainly exists”
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oh don’t worry, i was never disputing that!
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Cheers
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The Christian God “is love” and all-forgiving yet for some reason needs the most sadistic punishment ever devised to threaten and frighten us into believing in him. This makes far less sense than FSM.
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“The Christian God “is love†and all-forgiving yet for some reason needs the most sadistic punishment ever devised to threaten and frighten us into believing in him.”
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I know! They should list Mormon and JW doorknockers as WMDs.
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Hmm… Hell! Nice place – always warm, they have porn, alcohol abd drugs there – AND Spaghetti as much as you can eat. If god didnt want me to compare him to a pile of noodles, than i really dont wanna join him up there, doesnt he laugh about jokes, as we do?!
greetings, electro house :)
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@Erik Vavro
Does your church group fit the BITE model?
I’m sure it will because all the other proper “burn in hell” ones do?
Care to take a little test on your groups behalf?
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I. Behavior Control
II. Information Control
III. Thought Control
IV.Emotional Control
http://www.freedomofmind.com/resourcecenter/responsibility/mind.htm
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How do we know that we are going to Norway? There is also a Hell in Michigan…
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And the Grand Caymans. Scroll further up the thread for more info.
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U FUCKING HOMOS R STIL ALIVE HAHAHAHAHA GRO UP AND DYE HOMOS. GO TO HELL ALL OF U!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA HELL IS WATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hi Mike. Shouldn’t you be at church? You can make your caps larger by hitting Alt F4 and then enter. Try it.
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Mike! U R MY HERO! DUDE!!!
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Why are so many Christians like Mike obsessed with homosexuality? Catholics are brought up to take it up the pooper by their priests as children and it’s a normal part of their religion, but the rest of them just talk about it all the time.
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this guy, for instance
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1824988903
“Get on your knees”
“Fill me with your love”
He even talks about overcoming his ‘urges’
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@ Everybody, There is going to be a “Porn and Pancakes” church function on 2/11/07 (see link) not far from where I live.
If anybody is interested in attending this with me. I can supply lodging for up to five. I want to go, and suggest they have Spaghetti socials to promote their cause in the future. Let me know if you can attend.
Thanks,
P. P.
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http://www.10nbc.com/news.asp?template=item&story_id=21327
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Hahahahahaha.
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““As a general church body we don’t try to hide behind topics, we try to open them up and say let’s discuss them and let’s talk about them,â€
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hahaha. Should have thought about that comment first. There’s some twisted minds around. Hahahaha.
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The “souls” in “hell” or in “heaven” have one thing in common: the uncertainty of their being. The day the last person who still believes in “hell” or in “heaven” dies, all that disappears, wham! Do you want any relative out of “hell”? Stop believing in hell and they’re on their way out! But as long as we have people like Erik Vavro around, this isn’t going to happen, I’m afraid. Still, leaves us something to argue about.
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hahaha, Alchemist. “Parishioner Paul Forget”
They always have the best names!
I think Paul forgot what he did to himself last night!
When I heard about this, I laughed till tears flowed. haha.
What a world we live in!
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I don’t know. I think I would stay away from those sticky pancakes. You don’t know where they have been.
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Classic. I’ll never forget the name of a Medic my dad worked with Dr D’ Eath.
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So many good quotes from that piece you linked to “a man on the inside” haha.
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There’s something on the Adrian Plass website (a christian humour author – actually funny too) about porn and american christianity – I’ll see if I can find a link.
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Well according to The Spoof,
They will be in big company. Seems a lot of stars will be there…..
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s4i14229
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“Paul McCartney and Heather Mills agreed to reconcile their differences long enough to help raise money for the church and even said that they would participate in the games afterward. They signed up for the three legged race.”
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Oh my…
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Got it, it’s about half way down an article from “The Door” magazine.
http://www.adrianplass.com/articles/door_interview.htm
” A friend of mine was telling me that in America recently he was at a seminar for 300 Christian men. They were asked how many of them watch porn on the Internet.
All of them did. Every single one. Every single one.”
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Plass, is new to me. He sounds all right though!
I look forward to reading something of his.
Ok, off on that beer run.
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Alchemist there actually was a doctor called D’eath? Terry Oratchett has an assasin called D’eath in Hogfather. Wow.
I have a collection of people with named like that, most in Dutch of course. We used to have a chairman of the pilot’s association called Baksteen (brick), my dentist was called wortel (root).
*
I would love to go to Norway, just not now, a bit cold. Cayman Islands sounds good right now, I just hope it isn’t raining there.
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Pratchett of course, Pratchett not Oratchett.
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Just came aboard again…
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Hey, Shadow, thanks for the compliments! You are so sweet! Calling me gay is such a cool thing — I’m not homosexual but all my friends who are are the nicest people. And saying I don’t have a girlfriend — wow, you are psychic! How did you know? Being a straight wench that’s not something I *would* have — you are truly mentally gifted.
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To Mike, remember only you can go to Hell. Pay attention to my previous posts, now, will you? Be a good boy!
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I used to know a guy training to be a dentist who’s second name was pain.
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This is the Gospel truth.
My dentist is named Dr Thomas Crumb DDS.
And his assistant “Michelle” calls herself Cookie.
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My current dentist has a load of hotties for dental assistants. I think she hires them because she thinks it’s funny when you sit in the dentist chair with an erection.
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Where I live there is a local well-known dentist named Dr. Hurt (honestly).
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There was a doctor in my home town named Dr. Slaughter (honestly).
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There was a car dealership near my home town called Stahl Motors (honestly!).
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You gotta love it!!!
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@Wench Beth-I wonder how they got any buisness.
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Well the OLD God wasn’t very tasty.
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Everyone thinks that their religion is right. So, Erik Vavro, are going to damn all the Muslims, Buddhists, and scientologists too?
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Look at this! I leave for a couple of days and just look at all the hate-mail we get. Why, oh why do I have to be gone when all the fun starts?!?
RAmen
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And now for something not so completely different;
“Dr. Robert H. Stubbs, of Toronto, is a descendent of George Stubbs, the famous British painter and anatomist. Like his distant relative, Dr. Stubbs combines artistic experience and anatomical training to enhance his work.”
Penile augmentation is one of his specialties.
Ouch!
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@ Wench Beth
I know of a gynecologist who does abortions named Dr. Slaughter. S’truth. Has quite the successful practice, so I’m told.
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Big “Hello” to all the goddless desciples of the FSM. I’ve been intrigued by this whole “beer and stripper” heaven idea…It sounds like it could be a good idea but what would God say about something like this? Fortunately God had plenty to say about lots of stuff and I found this in my trusty Bible:
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Proverbs 23:29-35 (No 18 of thirty wise sayings)
Show me someone who drinks too much…His eyes are bloodshot and he has bruises that could have been avoided. Don’t let wine (bible scholars -like me- propose that this would included beer, wine, spirits, test tube shots and cocktails)tempt you, even though it is rich, red and it sparkles in the cup and goes down smoothly. The next morning you will feel as if you had been bitten by a poisonous snake. Weird sights will appear before your eyes and you will not be able to think or speak clearly…you will say; “I must have been beaten up, but I don’t remember it. Why can’t I wake up? I need another drink”.
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This is practical wisdom that anyone who’s been to a decent bucks night can understand. Within 4 weeks the heaven of the FSM shall lead to kidney pain, vomiting and have you begging for a quiet night in…repent while you can!!!! I’ll deal with the stripper part at a later time.
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hahahaha
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Tiny Tim-
If we are in heaven, i suspect that we will be dead. Therefore, unable to be hungover, experience kidney pain, or vomit.
Also, we dont believe the bible
for yoursake, i hope that you are touched by his noodly appendage
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@True Believer
“If we are in heaven, i suspect that we will be dead. Therefore, unable to be hungover, experience kidney pain, or vomit.”
If that it so then I would also suspect that the beer would not have it’s usual refreshing qualities and the strippers would be frustrating in the extreme…I reiterate the remarks posted as Tiny Tim aforesaid. My apologises re the Tiny Tim thing. I had a case of mistaken identity…my own…on account of my imposter groupie that ran wild last week.
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@TrueBeliever “If we are in heaven, i suspect that we will be dead. Therefore, unable to be hungover, experience kidney pain, or vomit.”
But unable to enjoy the beer vulcanoes as well? Ooooops!
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Is that bible quote real? It’s moronic! I don’t know what kind of wine the writer had drunk but it’s not the ethanol kind we drink. More like toilet cleaner or something.
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And just for the record, organ failure, drunken dis-ordlyness and hangovers aren’t a part of our heaven.
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@ Tiny Tim
Firstly, since the FSM is our god we are hardly godless as you say. And since the FSM set up the beer volcano and stripper factory in heaven I would have to say that He approves. What a tiny box you have placed your god into. A common fallacy amoung the god-botherers.
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Secondly, since heaven is a place for non-corporeal bodies, just how would physical ailments have any effect. Your arguments are not very well thought out. But then what does that say about your source of information? So anything you have to say about our lurvely strippers will be moot. You realize of course, that when you find your way to heaven you will be subjected to scrubbing the pots and pans, your beer will be stale, and your strippers will have scabs all over. Repent now, while you still can!!!!
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RAmen
MJK
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In FSM heaven we shall feel all of that we wish to, and none which we don’t. It is the power and the glory of the great FSM.
RAmen
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Ok…strippers are not quite so high on God’s agenda…but he does have this to say about the “immoral woman”.
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Proverbs 7:25-27
“Do not let such a woman win your heart; don’t go wandering after her. She has been the ruin of many men and caused the death of too many to count. If you go to her house, you are on the way to the world of the dead. It is a short cut to death.”
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Strong words from a square jawed God. I guess that if you’re already dead you might be able to look at the strippers as not even God can kill you twice…but you’ll be too pissed or hungover to appreciate them in my humble submission.
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@ Tiny Tim or Thumper. “The next morning you will feel as if you had been bitten by a poisonous snake.”
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Is that where snakebite (strong lager and strong cider mix) comes from? Nice.
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@Thumper
Ahh…but the FSM has powers, which worshippers of false deities can not even begin to imagine. His Noodlyness is *The Creator* after all. You cannot put the words of your weak version of a god onto His all encompassing abilities.
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@Alchemist
Good morning/afternoon.
I’m afraid I haven’t indulged in “snakebite” and thus do not feel competant to comment…I have a function comming up on the weekend so I’ll give it a go and report Monday with regards to the effect of same. I think the Lord is trying to say that if you must enjoy alcohol do so in moderation (and don’t get behind the wheel).
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@ Thumper—”Strong words from a square jawed God. I guess that if you’re already dead you might be able to look at the strippers as not even God can kill you twice…but you’ll be too pissed or hungover to appreciate them in my humble submission.”
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Seems you have placed your god into a tiny box as well, for one who is supposed to be omnipotent. But isn’t a “short cut to death” what your god wants?
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Ah look, it’s my little bunny wabbit from the land of the lost. Did you come to talk to yourself again?
Sorry if I’m less then pleasant with you. But the fact is your are an asshole.
I never really liked assholes.
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@Captain Mad John Kidd
I supposed he could bring you back to life and then kill you again??? From my perusal of the Bible God can certainly do this or even cast thee into the fires of hell but there’s nothing about killing the dead. If you’ll pardon the pun it would seem to be “flogging a dead horse” in any event.
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I’ve never claimed that God isn’t without his faults or a nasty streak a mile wide…just that we’re stuck with him…if you read your Bible and play by the rules then he won’t have to punish you for ever, turn you to salt, send frogs and locusts etc…
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@PP-off
Hi Pumpkin!
See you’re posting as yourself and not as me just yet…keep practising sunshine and you just might get smarter. He’s a special Bible quote just for you:
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Proverbs 23:12
“Pay attention to your teacher and learn all you can”.
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@ Thumper
Eternal punishment because I can think for myself? By admitting that mortal humans can alter anything against your god’s will, aren’t you admitting your own lack of faith? Sounds like you’ve created god in your OWN image ’stead o’ the other way ’round.
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@Captain Mad John Kidd.
On the contrary my dear Mr Kidd were I to create a convenient God I would create someting that resembles the FSM. From what I can gather the FSM philosophy is similar to that of Mr Alister Crowley…”do what thou will…” I guess that the difference between Crowley and the FSM is the general FSM prohibition on harming others.
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With regard to faith and thinking for ones self… I guess that if you’re a Christian and follow the Bible you just have to accept that God is very jealous, spiteful and will punish you for ever for an infraction of a certian kind…you may always choose damnation…the Bible is quite clear on this.
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Alright “Thumper”- own up, you aren’t really a Christian.
Even the craziest of fundamentalists still tell everyone their god is just and merciful- and they certainly never admit to the “mean streak”.
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Thumper isn’t a christian, thumper isn’t anything really.
Just a poor sod with no social skills, who has been bitten by the ugly green eyed monster we call jealously, some may feel sorry for him. Myself, I think he’s taking up oxygen on this earth. Much better if he was in heaven.
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@Greenbeard
“Even the craziest of fundamentalists still tell everyone their god is just and merciful- and they certainly never admit to the “mean streakâ€.
Any Christian that doesn’t admit that hasn’t read the Bible. You can’t deny what’s there in black and white or choose to follow the bits that suit you…generally speaking this is the problem with religion everywhere.
I have to do some work now but I’ll pop my head out of the burrow every now and again to see if anyone has said something interesting or delightfully insulting about poor old Thumpie.
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@Thumper. You haven’t tried Snakebite? Shame on you. I’d try Red Witch first. Half a pint of lager, half pint of cider and a shot of Pernod and black. Forget about getting behind the wheel, after five of those you’ll have enough problems getting behind your legs!
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@ Thumpty
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Crowley was an amateur and a heroine addict. We do not condone such behaviour. And as far as harming others, your christian god has the market corned on that. Seems the Golden Rule does not apply to him.
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Since we are capable of free thought, I don’t need faith, I have scientific graphs and charts to support my understanding of the universe. And just which bible is “the” bible? The original Hebrew scriptures, the Greek translations, the King James Version, the Standard, the Revised Standard, the New Edition, etc, etc, etc? And what about the fact that much of the Old Testament was adopted from ancient Phoenician and Babylonian texts? Not to mention the plethora of known mistranslations between languages….
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@Thumper:Quite so – unfortunately most Christians haven’t read the Bible (If they had, there would be a lot less of them).
What you forget though, is that you simply can’t follow the entire Bible either- it’s too full of contradictions.
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@Alchemist Jan 28th, 2007 at 5:34 pm
“I’d try Red Witch first. Half a pint of lager, half pint of cider and a shot of Pernod and black.”
.
How do you even get that down your throat?
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Remember folks, you are arguing with a Board Troll. He is here because he has a narcissistic personality disorder. He gets off on the attention. If you say something, he will vehemently disagree with you no matter what it is. He likes conflict. He is a whackjob. If you, meaning everyone, ignore him, then he can’t get his rocks off from the attention and will go away. If you continue to feed him by responding to him then he will stay forever. Arguing with him will not work. Making fun of him will not work. Ignoring him will work, trust me on this.
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hey, about the damange that FSM heaven will do to our bodies. I’m leaving my liver here. It took quite a beating in the 80’s and I don’t think it could handle the beer volcano. I guess I’ll be ok then, huh?
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I don’t know who said it, but someone referred to us as godless. That makes it sound so ugly. I prefer to be called deity-challenged, thanks. I’m going to go read my Gospel of the FSM now, so maybe I can find a God.
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@Jon. Practice my man. I wouldn’t go near it with a barge pole these days but it was popular in my student days – cheap and lethal. Most pubs in the uk wont serve snakebite now ‘cos it can cause extreme stroppyness.
.
Hiya Saucy.
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@Alchemist
My word…Red Witch huh…I’m writing these down…I’ll try one of each alternating on this weekend until I fall over.
@Marc McOar
Voices…do I hear voices? Come on Marc you can’t dislike me that much…I’m not a threat to you…you’re just mad because I wouldn’t “engage” you earlier…I just get busy sometimes…it ain’t personal. What did you want to talk about?…I’m all ears.
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@Alchemist Jan 28th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
“I wouldn’t go near it with a barge pole these days but it was popular in my student days – cheap and lethal.”
.
I think I’ll take your experience for good advice.
RAmen
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Hey Alchemist. I have jumped off the merry-go-round temporarily. My head is still spinning, but I’m beginning to recognize things around me again.
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@Marc McOar Jan 28th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
“If you, meaning everyone, ignore him, then he can’t get his rocks off from the attention and will go away.”
.
I personally think that would be a little boring. I find him a more interesting class of troll compared to the usual swearing frothing ranters.
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@SaucyWench Jan 28th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
” the damange that FSM heaven will do to our bodies. I’m leaving my liver here.”
SaucyWench, I believe it will be our bodyless souls that will feel all the joys of beer and stripper heaven. No earthly hangovers and illness will even be relevent.
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Hi SaucyWench, Long time no talk too!
Hope all is well with you.
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@ Marc
But I do so lurve the smell of troll dung in the morning. Smells like we have been doing our job as Pirate missionaries for the cause of His Noodliness. These are the Hate-Mail threads, after all. These shark-infested waters may not be suitable for the meek, but there are Discussion Forums for those who know where to look. Not to say you have certainly not served Him well, o oared one. But so many of our trolls simply drops a load and leaves. This one likes to play!
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Marc McOar Jan 28th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
Remember folks, you are arguing with a Board Troll. He is here because he has a narcissistic personality disorder. He gets off on the attention. If you say something, he will vehemently disagree with you no matter what it is. He likes conflict. He is a whackjob. If you, meaning everyone, ignore him, then he can’t get his rocks off from the attention and will go away. If you continue to feed him by responding to him then he will stay forever. Arguing with him will not work. Making fun of him will not work. Ignoring him will work, trust me on this.”
.
Marc of course you are right, I agree 100%.
But if we didn’t play with these fools, they’d be left to play with themselves.
And we all know that causes blindness!
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Ahh Saucy. You know you’ve got a friend here whenever you need him!
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@Jon
Maybe only evil Pastafarians like PP and Marcey Marc get hangovers…heaven and hell at the same venue…Pasta for thought…not that I condole your idolaltry and there’s no such thing as monsters…mostly…
@Mr Kidd
A true christian will follow all versions of the Bible. When confronted with a contradiction simply pray for guidance and flip a coin. Worked for the “dice man”.
@Alchemist
Do you have the specific measures involved in the concoction of “Snakebite” and “Red Witch”…will I need a cauldron or maybe a bucket?
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@Jon
Oh! Virtual, ethereal beer that doesn’t harm anybody! What I would have given for that in 1985!
@ Peter Popoff
Hello yourself! For the moment, things are ok. It’s been a tough couple of months, though. My faith has really been tested, and I am still the godless wench I’ve always been. I guess that Christians could say that if I believed in their God, I’d have an easier time of it, but I don’t believe it. If there are any deities out there who love me and want to help me, great. As long as they don’t demand mindless worship in return, I’m game. I guess that’s a long answer, huh? I’ve got some pent-up ranting to do, I guess. I’m so glad to be here again!
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Hey Thump. Remember the joe cartoon dig?
Bite me! Oh wait nevermind, I meant, I lobve you, big Thump!
Yea, thats it!
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Oh, dear. I’ve been banished to the Land of the Meek.
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@Alchemist,
Yes, I know. It helps to know that there are others who at least know what I’ve been going through. I’ve been mostly keeping it all in and doing what is in front of me to do. It seems to have worked out alright, anyway. I’m in the mood for some fun, or at least some serious arguing about whether or not I’m going to go to Hell. Hell, Shmell. I’ve already been there.
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@ Thumpty
How about all the other religious texts available on this planet? The Upanishads, the Koran, the Vedas, the Ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead, et al? Are entire cultures condemned to your hell just because they know nothing of your little book? What a sad, pathetic, petty little god you believe in. BTW, have you read the Gospel of the FSM?
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@Marc,
Welcome, I’ve been hanging out in the Land of the Meek for a while now. Hey, remember, we’ll inherit the Earth! I want Mexico! And Alaska! And the Alps! And the entire Amazon rainforest! Damn! I want it all.
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@ Marc—”Oh, dear. I’ve been banished to the Land of the Meek.”
Not at all. You have taken the sacred oar up the arse (all three of them, if I’m not mistaken) with the best of us and have proved yourself quite worthy to serve aboard His divine Church.
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@Thumper. You’ll definitely need a bucket at some point :)
.
@Saucy – you go for it! It’s a shame “God is Good” isn’t here tonight. You’d have liked him/her.
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Thumper just sent me a hemail, says he wants to have my babies an’ stuff?
What should I tell him?
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@ Peter,
I laughed out loud at that one. You’re going to Hell for sure!
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Peter – Tell him to use a Johndom. It’s like a condom but approved by the catholic church. It’s made of rice paper.
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@Captain Kidd
My apologise for omitting your honorific in earlier posts Captain…wasn’t intentional. Yes, yes… all of those works you quoted above are, according to God, heathen works of Godless savages. I wish God could be more like you and me but the truth is he’s quite the bully boy…If I were you I wouldn’t say those nasty things you said about him too loud…look what he did to the Amorites…he doesn’t deal well with critisim whether it be constructive or otherwise. I have only looked at the pictures in the Gospel of the FSM.
@Saucy Wench
How hard and fast are you on the, “As long as they don’t demand mindless worship in return” bit…I’m always up for converts but this could be a bit of a problem.
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Yes, the meek SHALL inherit the earth… about 1m x 2m x 2m… not including the chunk o’ marble. BTW, I’m still lobbying for the espresso geyser and the Ectonet of Infinite Bandwidth. And a Chippendale addition to the product line at the stripper factory for those so inclined. (Reclined? Nevermind.)
May your pasta always be al dente,
Your sauce rich,
Your garlic bread crusty,
Your wineglass forever full.
RAmen
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@Captain Mad John Kidd
“You have taken the sacred oar up the arse (all three of them, if I’m not mistaken)”
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Marc has had three oars inserted, or Marc has three arses?
.
Either way, the mental image is so wrong.
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@ Thumper,
Although I’m good at saying that I’m up for an argument, I’m usually the one that ends up trying to make peace in some way. I’m not really a nasty person, but I am stubborn. What is is that you’re proposing that I convert to, anyway? It won’t be a problem at all. It just won’t happen. My heart is open to the wonders of the cosmos, both great and small, but it is closed to Christianity. It’s just like me saying that I’m a female. It’s just the way it is, and nobody can convince me otherwise. Your efforts would be better directed at people whom are seeking what you have to offer.
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I’ve yet to see anyone lay out what is meant to be so good about this fairy tale christian heaven. What is it meant to be Thumper?
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@SaucyWench Jan 28th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
It’s like me saying that I’m a female. It’s just the way it is, and nobody can convince me otherwise.
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Flower power!
haha, are you sure you’re a wench and not a pirate?
RAmen
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@Thumper
Find some way to be mean to me, you’re not mean enough to me!!!
RAmen
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@ Pixel Pete,
I’m a wench and a pirate besides! AAArrrggghhhhhh!
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@ Thumpty
Apology accepted.
So then, your god has spoken to you personally on this matter regarding the Amorites? You have actual scientific evidence to support this “act of god”? Or just some words on a page from a book that is based on a technology two thousand years obsolete.
And just what makes your god so special, anyway. No need to quote from your little book of lies, you have already admitted to picking and choosing what to believe and what not to believe. So it can clearly not be used as any semblance of truth on the matter. Why are FSM, Baal, Odin, Zeus, Jupiter, et al. any less valid than your Jehovah. Could these simply be different names of the one god given by different cultures?
By only looking at the pictures in the GoFSM, are you saying that the text was too difficult to understand? Are there too many big words? Or could you just not be bothered?
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Pixel Pete Jan 28th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
@Thumper
Find some way to be mean to me, you’re not mean enough to me!!!
RAmen
.
hahahahahahaha
Come over here Pixely dude! I’ll abuse the crap right outta ya!!!
But you knew that already.
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@Saucy Wench
“I’m usually the one that ends up trying to make peace in some way”…Desiderata? Leporidae? (now that’s a handle!)
I would propose converting to true fundamental Christianity…not like those fake fundies…I’m talking take the whole Bible literally. I’ve said this before but it bears repeating…the Bible is the word of God and as God is infallible the Bible must be infallible. I agree that our Lord is temperamental, churlish, childish, vengeful, has difficulty making decisions and changes his mind at a whim…you’d never invite him to dinner… Just as it “just is” that you are female, it equally “just is” that he’s the big guy…it’s a one party system with no hope of a coup d’etat…we can only strive to be better people then God while obeying simple rules like not eating rock badger.
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@Thumper
Lmao, & whats your definition of evil? :P
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You know, that Tiny Tim dude may have a point. He called us “goddless” and I certainly don’t have a “godd” or believe in one! I don’t think any of you pirates have a
“godd” either. However, we all worship a GOD and that is His Holiness the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
.
Man, I hate it when people can’t spell.
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Thumper, the Bible is a FICTION book written by MEN!! There’s nothing infallible about either!!
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Pixel. Saucy’s as Wenchy as Wenchy can get. I’ll never live down my first posts here when I thought Captain Saucy was a bloke (hand my head in shame).
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Thumper. I think Desiderata is a bloody excellent name!
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@ Thumper,
No, thank you. I can’t abide fundamentalism in any religion, especially Christianity. By the way, I can prove that I’m female. I have an actual female body, and I’ve reproduced. Where’s your proof that your God is “the big guy?” Is it tangible? Actually, whatever proof you have is obviously good enough for you, and that’s great. It won’t work for me, though. You’re better off trying to buy kiwis in a shoe store.
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@Thumper
Fake fundies? I thought that religion was about belief? :P & Wouldn’t that just be a divine dictatorship? Actually I think the cultists are tempermental, churlish, childish, and vengeful, they just project their vices on a fictional character to somehow justify it =] Books are written by people.
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@ Thumper,
I agree that Desiderata is a great name, but alas, I fear I cannot live up to it. I can only strive to remember the poem’s sentiments.
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@ihatmyspace
I’ve lived in Michigan my whole life, but I’ve never found hell on a map. Is it in the UP? Maybe near Wisconsin? Or northern LP?
~Brother Rigatoni
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Saucy. That’s as good a reply as anyone could give.
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@Saucy Wench and Captain Kidd
With faith you don’t require proof…what a concept!!! Only God could think up such an infalible answer. Sure science can provide some of the answers…”Red Witch” by Alchemist is a fine example of practical chemistry. But there’s always a touch of faith even in science…I’ve never seen an atom…read about it somewhere.
@Raz
I’m talking God not religion. I’m guessing that my brand of fundamentalism is so extreme that I’m the only one. I put the mental in fundamental and proud of it.
@Alchemist
Fine name and nice poem.
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@Brother Rigatoni Jan 28th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
“I’ve lived in Michigan my whole life, but I’ve never found hell on a map.”
.
Perhaps the fund a mentals had the name removed from the map.
If they threatened their kids with going to Hell and the kids found out it was a place in
Michigan, the threats just wouldn’t have the some oomph, would they.
Kind of the same as park employees being commanded not to mention the geological age of the Grand Canyon to visitors so as not to upset/contradict the fundies.
Wouldn’t at all be surprised.
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Thumper Jan 28th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
I would propose converting to true fundamental Christianity…not like those fake fundies…I’m talking take the whole Bible literally. I’ve said this before but it bears repeating…the Bible is the word of God and as God is infallible the Bible must be infallible.
.
You really want to go there again Funter?
You know the bible like a child, do I really have to make an ass out of you again?
I mean really, your weak and small, and and overall asshole. Did that rhyme?
Anyway, how many times do you have to look stupid?
I’d be tired if I were you.
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@Thumper Jan 28th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
“I would propose converting to true fundamental Christianity”
.
You mean like Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” version?
He was drunk!
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@PP-off
I thought Marc banned you from talking to me? Can you make me look stupid one more time please…I didn’t get it the first time.
@Brother Rigatoni
Hell is located in Popoff’s bedroom…if you’re his wife that is.
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Thumper. Just wait until Erinyes starts playing.
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Start, not starts
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Thumper Jan 28th, 2007 at 8:26 pm
@PP-off
Can you make me look stupid one more time please…I didn’t get it the first time.
.
hahahahahaha
‘nough said! What a loser! hahahahahaha
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@ Thumpty
Physicists do not take the existence of the atom purely on faith. They have experience and can construct models to explain the atom. True, current technology does not allow us to “see” the atom at this time, but they have pictures of where an atom has been and have quite effectively used said models to explain the interaction between other atoms. Otherwise “practical chemistry” would simply revert back to alchemy. Astronomy would still be astrology, etc. It is also true that science is not the answer to everything, but fortunately, it has brought us out of the dark ages and I, for one, have no desire to go back there.
Must be lonely being the only member of your cult, seeing as how much time you spend aboard Our Church.
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@Peter Popoff Jan 28th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
“You really want to go there again Funter?
You know the bible like a child, do I really have to make an ass out of you again?”
.
*gets some popcorn and settles in for the show*
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@Brother Rigatoni
its the red dot. map’s from wiki. here’s a link to the wiki page if you care to learn more http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell%2C_Michigan
@ thumper
“with fait you don’t require proof”
i have forgotten who posted this and on what thread, but it’s very good:
GOD: For people to believe in Me they must have faith. Proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing.
Man: What about all this crazy crap on the planet? You can’t tell me that’s not proof.
GOD: Oh, ermm….. well, I suppose it is.
Man: So by your own definition, you don’t exsist!
GOD: Oops, I hadn’t thought of that.
GOD promtly vanishes in a puff of logic
RAmen
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I don’t see what Peter’s wife has to do with anything. Speaking of hell, why would satan punish you for doing things he promotes?
Oh, OKAY then, I suppose believing in god is completely different from believing in general religion. Except that all you need is blind faith. Thanks for addressing my post with clarity I guess?
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um, i guess the map didn’t go through
sorry
just follow the link
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@Thumper,
That’s just it! I don’t have faith in your God. I am not completely faithless, however. I believe that, in a general sense, what goes around, comes around. I believe in freedom of religion and separation of church and state. I think that mankind creates concepts of “God” because, as complex as we are and as much as we have evolved, much of what happens to man over time is seemingly violent and random. Even though I don’t believe in your God, I think it is important to live according to certain ideals (Eightfold Path, Ten Commandments, Golden Rule, etc.) I know that every time I watch Monty Python I will laugh. I believe that I have the duty to protect my children from being taught mythology, albeit modern, as science in school. I believe that Jesus could have been a real person and would be mortified at the actions of many of his followers now and throughout the past 2000 years. I believe that there is a divine melody playing in the universe, and I don’t need to know who composed it: I only need to listen to it.
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@ Thumpy
Have you taken the Easter Challenge?
The conditions of the challenge are simple and reasonable. In each of the four Gospels, begin at Easter morning and read to the end of the book: Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, and John 20-21. Also read Acts 1:3-12 and Paul’s tiny version of the story in I Corinthians 15:3-8. These 165 verses can be read in a few moments. Then, without omitting a single detail from these separate accounts, write a simple, chronological narrative of the events between the resurrection and the ascension: what happened first, second, and so on; who said what, when; and where these things happened.
http://ffrf.org/books/lfif/?t=stone
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@ Saucy Wench
Well said, your Sauciness! The universe rocks! Indeed, all you need do is listen.
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@Captain Kidd,
Thanks.
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I’ve long since decided that Thumper is a fake-fundie just here to see what reactions he can get, and his most recent posts just make it all the more obvious to me.
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@Saucy Wench (Jan 28 at 8.45)
Well said indeed…if you were running for God I’d vote for you…don’t tell the real God I said that though.
@Captain Kidd (Jan 28 at 8.33)
Very true…but I’ve never done an experiment to create a model to “explain the interaction between other atoms” and neither will the majority of humanity…still…we have faith in science. The whole Bible thing at Easter sounds a little dull…did God say I should do it? Easter is a busy time for us wabbits.
@True Believer
Pardon my typographical errors but I’m multi-tasking at present…the GOG/MAN thing is very clever alright…but why is “crazy crap on the planet” proof? I can accept that God is crazy and he wants us to do crazy things but…perhaps you could ask Peter Popoff to explain this to me.
@Raz
Popoff’s wife has nothing to do with this…I was being petty to Popoff for an earlier attack and I apologise unreservedly should I have offended his wife.
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It appears we have been mislead, my fellow Pastafarians. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but “Hell-fer-certain” is in Kentucky. They certainly grow fundies by the pound in Kentucky, I can tell you that for nothing. Spending an eternity trying to convert snaggle-toothed chain-smoking hillbillies would be no picnic.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell_for_Certain%2C_Kentucky
RAmen
MJK
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Oh dear Thump. Why can’t you play like the rest?
My wife thinks you’re pretty, so do I!
I want to invite you into the group, sad thing is, you’re already in the group.
Just be you Thump. We’ll love you for who you aren’t.
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@Peter Popoff
Sorry Pete but I dance to my own tune. It was very nice of your wife to say I’m pretty…thank her for me.x… Groups aren’t for me Pete…groups quickly become mobs and mobs tend to be mobish in their actions.
@Iron gil Kidd
What makes a good fundie and why am I not one? I say that if you’re a believer in the Bible and accept that it’s the word of God then you must take the whole thing verbatum…you can’t have it any other way.
.
Sure the Bible is nasty and irrational and as relatively rational beings we need to order our world in a rational manner…there must be a why. But what if God really is just plain crazy…In the words of Tyler Durden…”If our fathers were our models for God and our fathers failed, what does that say about God?…you have to accept the possibility that God does not like you.”
.
This has been lots of “fun ‘n’ mental” but I’ve must hop away as duty calls. Adios.
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@ Thumpty—’I’ve never done an experiment to create a model to “explain the interaction between other atoms†and neither will the majority of humanity’
.
If that were true, you would have effectively invalidated the scientific study of Physics, Chemistry, Cosmology, Biology, Metallurgy, etc. Are you telling me you have never heard of mathematics? You don’t have to do the math yourself. There are quite a number of physicists who have already done the work for you. Ever heard of blokes named Einstein or Hawking, to name but two? Or are you saying that because YOU don’t understand it, no one can?
And trust or confidence in science is not the same thing as belief in an invisible old man who lives in the sky and threatens to punish us with eternal damnation, because he loves us.
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G’nite Thump.
I’ll catch you on the morrow.
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@ Thumpty—”What makes a good fundie and why am I not one? I say that if you’re a believer in the Bible and accept that it’s the word of God then you must take the whole thing verbatum…you can’t have it any other way.”
.
But you do, my dear Thumpty. You have quite clearly picked and chosen scripture that suits you and discarded that which does not. Therefore you have invalidated your own personal belief system.
Sad to see you go, Thumpty. It’s been fun.
RAmen
MJK
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Don’t worry MJK.
Thump, will be here tomorrow, if I read the email right, he’s just pissed and must find some sleep.
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MJK.
Shoot me an email at notchemung@gmail.com
And I can send you an invite to the non existent “Disciples of the FSM”
We are not 14 strong at the moment.
P. P.
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@ P.P.
Done
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Check your email,
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Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous
She took me in and gave me breakfast
And she said,
Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover…….
…………….
Lying in a den in Bombay
With a slack jaw, and not much to say
I said to the man, “Are you trying to tempt me
Because I come from the land of plenty?”
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@Raz Jan 28th, 2007 at 7:52 pm
“Actually I think the cultists are tempermental, churlish, childish, and vengeful, they just project their vices on a fictional character to somehow justify it”
.
Spot on Raz. May I add nascistic to your list?
RAmen
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Christians give you free tickets to Norway when you die?
Ooh i dono thats a pretty good reason to convert,
maybe he noodleyness could hook up a deal with Australia or something, beers good there.
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Speaking of Australia, I came across this on my web travels today:
.
“Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to provide chaplains in Australian schools”
http://noodlynation.blogspot.com/2006/10/congratulations-chaplains-in-schools.html
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Leporidae Jan 29th, 2007 at 12:49 am
.
I love that song! What’s the difference between Vegemite and Marmite btw. I’ve never found out!
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Eric, we really don’t care. honestly, how do you know god isn’t a pile of noodles.
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@ Gill. This is my thought as well. Thumper is a pseudo-fundie. He is here for argument’s sake alone. I would be shocked to learn that he actually believes a word of what he has written. It is okay if you are a smug, narcissistic, righteous Jesus worshiper trying to convert the world. It is not okay if you are just pretending to be one. Insincerity negates the game.
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I read a book when i was a child called Grandma And The Pirates. it is a story about a Grandma who makes delicious noodles. the smell of pasta attacts pirates, and they take the pasta and the grandma to make her make more.
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Surly there is not a single children’s book as holy as this one, for it contains bothe Pirates and Pasta, and Pirates eating Pasta. here is a link that mentions the book.
http://www.phoebegilman.com/grandma.html
i might be in love with Jingles
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@Thumper- “What makes a good fundie and why am I not one? I say that if you’re a believer in the Bible and accept that it’s the word of God then you must take the whole thing verbatum…you can’t have it any other way.”
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WTF? Why did that only come up half-way?! Gr!
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@Thumper- “What makes a good fundie and why am I not one? I say that if you’re a believer in the Bible and accept that it’s the word of God then you must take the whole thing verbatum…you can’t have it any other way.”
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…..I give up. Assume I made a point there.
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Is funny how Christians cannot defend their religion. The only “good” way they find to try to get us into “reason” is say we are going to hell… come’on my little sister comes up with better excuses.. sorry, i mean ideas.
I dont believe in hell, bad for them that they do. I just have a question for all Christians: Have you ever actually seen the face of God to know for sure he does not look like pasta? They think they are all so smart… hmmm should learn to respect others before talking out loud and sending people to hell…
If anybody can show me a picture of God proving that he does not look like pasta I will eat my pants!
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Marc. You’re right. DNFTT. I just can’t stop myself sometimes. Dr Martin and TLM were examples of that.Well TLM anyway, Dr MM believed in the stuff he spouted.
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Going to hell? Great! Is it a weekend cruise or an eternity? I gave to ‘BoB’ so I’ll get to cash in on his tripple your money back guarantee. (Give ‘BoB’ $30.00 and if you end up in hell he hands you $90.00 in cash and offers you a book titled “Getting Along In Hell On Five Cents A Day” for the low price of $89.95.)
All Hail Eris! Cthulhu fhtagn! Jesus became a zombie for your brains! Praise ‘BoB’. RAmen!
PS: Did anyone see a golden apple lying around? Don’t want it getting confused for a meatball. (I hear Eris likes to pull that one lately.)
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>Christians give you free tickets to Norway when you die?
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Is that for real? I have family there; it’d be cool to visit for free. Maybe I should convert to Xtianity just for the tix!!
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NOT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I go away for a while and we get hate-mail, sigh, I’m never around for the fun, oh well, exams are finally over! Random I know, but I have a bad habit of sleeping through lectures so lots of cramming.
The stream of consciousness thing is a habit too, why couldn’t there be origional hate-mail? just saying we’re all going to hell is repeating everyone else, the old hate-mail was better, oars hehehe
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i have been to norway.
it’s nice. plenty of seafood and placid weather.
valhalllllaaaaa
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U R ALL GOING TO HELL!!!!!
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HOMO + HOMO = HELL!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA
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I think HOMO is a bit nitronium for you. Use with extreme care, it’s nasty stuff!
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Yeah. I know it’s HONO but why spoil a good gag.
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FFUUUUCCCCKKKKKK U HOMO!!!!!! STIK OARS UP UOR ASSES HAHAHAHA. BELEVE IN GOD NOT SOME FUCKING SPAGETTI THING THAT IS NOT REEL!!!! THATS STUPPIDDD. HAHAHAHAHAHA LOL
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Hiya Mike, have you joined the WBC yet? They seem to reflect your views and current level of sanity completely.
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The WBC, for those aren’t yet aware:
http://www.godhatesfags.com/main/index.html
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One of the worst.
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GOD DOES FATE FAGGOS!!!! EVERYBOBY NOS THAT!!! FAGGOO!!!! HAHAHAHAHA
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homo might not nessarily mean homosexual. He may mean homogeneous or homoeopathic
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You know the formula for a molecule of Molybdenum and Holmium?
HoMo
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Soooo… Mike is actually saying that we are bundles of sticks as well as Molybendum-Holmium molecules? Well, that DOES explain a lot. He really wasn’t making that much sense before :)
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MIKE, WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE?
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I’m waiting Mike.
Come on BIG FELLA! I’m really pretty!
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Yoohoo MIKE. Peter’s making eye’s at you. I’d go for it. He’s got a tongue like a lizard. It’ll make your eyes water!
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Mike, what say you about this…
http://www.jesusneverexisted.com/
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Can’t wait for Hell. Apparently, all my best friends will be there.
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What’s Heaven got, anyway? God, Jesus and a load of Fundies? Pass.
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That, of course, is pretending to see things from your point of view. As it is, I hope you too are touched by the Noodly Appendage, and see the REAL truth. When will you people realise your God is a lie? -emotear-
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May all unbelievers know the gentle touch of His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen.
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Dang Alchemist, I just want to be his friend/lover. I won’t tell his daddy about me.
Looking at the times he posts, I think I missed him today, not to worry, I’ll be here tomorrow.
He just doesn’t know what he’s missing!
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@ Mike
Careful, if you yell too loud, we might start reading into your obsessions, I for one have yet to meet the person who can completly avoid mentioning whatever they spend most of ther time thinkng of quite often
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Forget that hussy mike, I’m the one you want!
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Back off! Beastly Rich!
I saw him first!
hahaha
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@Mike
I’ve never met such a kind and caring person as you, I really do appreciate your calm rated-pg language and your pro-homosexuality attitude. I bet you just love each and every one of us pirates here as if we were your own male lover.
I’m with Peter on this one, will you be my valentine?
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@Everyone
I’m getting bored of my name. Making fun of little corny 8-year old video games is fun and all, but I need a new name, something that shouts “Noodly”, something that shouts “awesome”.
Feel free to post ‘em all, I’ve got an open mind!
RAmen
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Clapran. “I for one have yet to meet the person who can completly avoid mentioning whatever they spend most of ther time thinkng of quite often”
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Your fannying well right about that. Those pussies that think we’re beer need to get their head screwed on!
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oops!
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Captain Pete of the Good ship Lollipop!
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@Peter Popoff
What the fuck?
Okay Peter, try and touch your nose. Count to 5 and walk in a straight line.
Maybe you had a wee bit too much miracle spring water.
RAmen
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Pixel. How about Erinyes. It’s one of mine on other forums. You are more than welcome to use it here!
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Alchemist
I’ll pass
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We should make a thread for coming up with a new name for me
I guarantee you chances are I won’t find a really good one
YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS:
Captain Pete of the good ship Lollipop
THOUGH I ADMIT THAT’s A REALLY SWEET NAME
RAmen
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Pixely dude! I know you like to be abused.
Just think what that name could mean for you!
hahaha
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@Mike: Welcome back. glad to see you’re on form as ever, you fucking psycho.
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Woot.
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No more need for any threads I found a name!
RAmen
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hahahaha, might bit long there don’cha think?
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Hey, here ya go…
Captian Whoopi!
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Of course it isn’t too long.
Not to mention that it’s Whoopi Goldberg, Bill Cosby, Mr. T, and the Shat. No length is too long for that awesome of a super-hero team.
Naturally we strive to defeat the evil forces of Chuck Norris and the fundies.
RAmen
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nice name, Pete
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Fine fine, I’ll make it shorter!
RAmen
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@Whoopi Goldberg, Bill Cosby, Mr. T, and the Shat all combined into one ultra-Noodly power
sweet name!
its really long, what should we call you? WG,BC,MT,atSaciouNp is still pretty long
anyways, congrats on the new name
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ok, then ignore my last comment
and i repeat my congrats
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Thats better!
Have you given any thought to simply… Lollipop?
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@TrueBeliever
*ignores last comment*
Wha- did you say something?
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How about “Doctor-Dot-fatty-fat-fat-fat-what-dot-JOOOLEIAN”
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When I was about 17 I told my sister that that’s the same of the doctor on deep space 9.
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PP probably just wants you to call yourself lollipop so he can make a joke about it
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I’d love to visit Norway, see the beautiful Fjords. It’s why I don’t believe….
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Vegemite, as it’s name suggests is made from vegetable extracts, so vege’s can eat it. Marmite is originally, and probably still is a by-product of the beer industry – yeast extract. Nope, they don’t really taste the same. Although some may not be able to tell the difference.
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Marmite? I love it.
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Or were you not really asking that question?
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Ta, hell with it! I’ll call myself Lollipop!
Totally kicks butt!
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@Captain WhoopiCozTShat (or i guess @ Lollipop)
i didnt say anything important
good job following my directions though.
i think Lollipop is a great name
good decision
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TrueBeliever Jan 29th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
@Captain WhoopiCozTShat (or i guess @ Lollipop)
i didnt say anything important
good job following my directions though.
i think Lollipop is a great name
good decision”
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TrueBeliever, I think the Capain may have logged out, I’m the Lollpop, Peter Popoff
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well, thats very confusing
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thanks for the clarification
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i guess, yet again, i have to say:
ignore my last post
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hahaha Teddy. Yeah. That’s the question I was asking. Ta :)
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@Lollipop. You don’t think that’ll make people want to lic….Aargh – stop it now Alchemist, or as I like to be called Mr Blackpool Rock ;)
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@ Alchemist, @Lollipop. You don’t think that’ll make people want to lic….
I was wondering how long it’d take someone to say that
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My plan is working…
(evil laugh) heh heh heh heh
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MIKE won’t be able to resist me now.
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MIKE seems to have disapeared
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again.
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and he took thumper w/him
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Clapran. hahaha. Seconds my friend, seconds ;)
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Hey yeah, it’s about time for the Thump to show up.
I like Thump. He’s knows his bible! He does!
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You people are truly testing my faith. I think I’ll go over into the corner and pray for your salvation. Or salivation.
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@Marc. ?
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for a nonbeliever and creationist, he is rational. at least he presents his facts and doesnt just say we’re all going to hell and leave it at that.
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actually, i think he is a closet pastafarian and afraid to come out
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and thats probably bad wording on my part if our friend MIKE is still hanging around out there
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Marc, hahahahaha
Please do! We need them there prayers! For sure!
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@Marc
how are we testing your faith?
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may you be touched by his noodly appendage
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You people are simply incredible. This is the very first time I would like the Thumpy character to return, just to see how he deals with you NOW! Hahahahahahahaha!
RAmen to you Pirates!
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He probably will think we’re drunk
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i still think he’s coming back
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@Peter Popoff (Jan 28 9.48pm)
In the words of Eminem’s backing singers…”guess who’s back, back again…guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back…”
@Captain Kidd (Jan 28 9.37pm and 9.44pm)
You’re not making this very easy for me! This could go round in circle for days so I’ll summarise with “dot” points…
1. I’m not saying that scientific study is invalid, just that unless you see something for yourself you are placing a degree of faith in the source of your information.
2. I’m not picking parts of the Bible that “suit me”. My point is that none of it suits me but if I’ve got faith that God said it then I should do it even if it’s kinda mental.
@Leporidae (Jan 29 12.49am)
What a fantastic name and great singing voice. Your a star Leporidae!
@Alchemist
Good morning/afternoon
Vegemite tastes really nice but Marmite is best applied to the axel of your motor vehicle. Promite is acceptable when you’ve run out of Vegemite.
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@ anybody who thinks we are being flippant, stupid or disrespecting.
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Yes we are! Please don’t ask me to bow down and ask the FSM for forgiveness. I doubt he gives a shit.
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Huh? We are drunk.
Ramen
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Hi there Thump! Hey, ding dong, Peter Popoff is so yesterday!
I am now Lolli Popoff! Wanna lick?
Lets find out how many licks it takes for you to get to my middle.
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what’d i say? he’s BAack
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doesnt work so well in writing
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@Thumper
you are picking the parts of the bible that work for you.
“My point is that none of it suits me but if I’ve got faith that God said it then I should do it even if it’s kinda mental.”
that sounds kinda mental. you dont seem to have much faith in god. and not in a “god exists” type of faith. the “god knows what the hell he’s doing” type of faith
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like i said, closet pastafarian. or at least closet sane person
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Thumper. Don’t you go slagging Marmite off! Grrrrrr. I love the bloody stuff and yes, it can act as an industrial lubricant if you’re pushed :)
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Captain madd! You SOB! Kentuckians are not stupid hillbilly fundies…probably about 75% percent of the kids in my school are Atheist rockers. I live in Louisville, KY. Perhaps in the Appalachians there are fundies where there aren’t many schools, but c’mon give us a break.
I know we have that gigantic christian church with the 8 bowling alleys and 5 basketball courts but Most of the people who go to Southeast Christian church don’t even believe that poop. It’s just the culture to go along with it and get a free games of bowling and candy.
There is a good lack of god in Kentucky, believe me. I and I am proud of it and the changes my state has made in the past 3 years to move all the ignorant christian crap into the mountains and away from civilization. So plz dont come in here saying Kentucky is hell with bunch of dumb uneducated fundamentalist scum because that’s complete BS!
thank you :)
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Thumper the friendly ghost… the friendliest ghost I know.
Hey Thump, I’m an all day Lollipop!
Come on and give me a shine.
Oh, and about your bible studies, you got an F.
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@Thumper- why do you have faith if you think it’s mental and it doesn’t suit you? That doesn’t make sense. It’s like “This crazy guy is saying a country has WMDs, and there’s no real proof, and he’s pretty stupid, but I’m going to trust him anyway.”
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Hell yes!!!! You tell him Kentuckian!!!! Why some of us even have indorrs plumbin now adays!!!!
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May we never use Marmite and lubricant in the same sentence again. I don’t care what ‘industry’ you’re in.
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It’s just gotta be bad.
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Ha, thumpie, Yep, we generally place a degree of faith in something. Knew I put it somewhere. I shall go find those scientists and ask for it back. The undergrads need it.
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No faith in the bible? Well, that’s just one step to sensible. Believe in God, because you just can’t accept that this is all just co-inkydink? Not because Church/parents/school tell you you must? Well, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.
I’m off to bed.
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is the time stamp about 20 minutes off for anyone else?
actually and hr and 20 min for me, but that could be time zone
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Wow. I might have to change my name now. Any suggestions? What the hell, let’s have some fun.
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Saucy Lollipop!
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@TrueBeliever
Yep, I’vo got this “about 20 minutes off” too, always had. You know, FSM can make things appear older or younger!
RAmen to you Pirates (and I’m off to bed too)!
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@TrueBeliever
Your position presupposes that God is sane according to the defin of “sane” from a rational creature such as yourself (I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt). God is God therefore he must be “ordered”. Why does God have to have so many “human” qualities…he’s anything but in a big universe. I consider the Bible to be evidence that God is not rational and not humane…but in charge nonetheless.
@Alchemist
You’re a sick animal…do you have any idea what prolonged marmite use will do do you?
@Lolli
You’re a sick animal…do you have any idea what prolonged alcohol use will do do you?
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I have a Bible quote re stripper heaven…I’ll post it soon.
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….Oh my jesus.
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“Thumper @Lolli
You’re a sick animal…do you have any idea what prolonged alcohol use will do do you?”
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Well so far it’s brought me down to speaking at your level.
Is that good?
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@Saucy Wench- How about Captian Saucy? You’ve been here long enough.Though even I don’t think it’s very original. But….. why are you changing your name?
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Thumper … “You’re a sick animal…do you have any idea what prolonged marmite use will do do you?”
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Er, make me ever so salty and a bit yeasty?
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How about “Buy’bull thumpin’ appa’lachian from da boon’ies of Kentucky”
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Lets ALL be Lollipops!
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@Jean Bart
how could i have forgotten?!
i assume i always have, i just hadnt noticed it
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@Thumper
you’re the one who said it was mental. i was getting at the point many other people have made, which is you dont truelly believe the crap you’re saying and are enjoying the attention.
i will admit to my definition of sane, however, i do not presume that god is sane. the christian god probably is not only sane but much more human than christians give him credit for. i dont really care if the FSM is sane or not
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another theory. you believe that everything in the bible, even the contradictions, should be taken seriously. thats so that you can justify contridicting yourself
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just admit to being a pastafarian already. we MAY even except you.
maybe…
but im not sure yet
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Hi guys,
I’m going to subvert the thread if possible for a quick post.
1. I’ve just finished reading The God Delusion.
Well worth a read, it won’t do well for believers because Dawkins can do nothing but sneer at their stupidity. I’m not saying they aren’t stupid, but he’s not going to win hearts and minds that way.
However a great resource for battling atheists.
2. There’s a publicity campaign to get the book to every UK Member of Parliament.
Here’s a link:
http://richarddawkins.net/articleComments,565,Send-The-God-Delusion-to-your-MP,J-Christie-PledgeBankcom,page1,commentReceived
Who knows some of them might read it. A couple might understand it. One might even agree with it.
Sign up to pay for and send a copy to your MP!
The PM has been pushed in to climb down on Catholic adoption agencies so everyone sees religion as on the back foot. Ha Ha.
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@ THUMPEr ;)
…You’re not going to hell for believing there is no god. Man proposed that situation, not a god. No one should ever make you feel afraid to believe what you want. I gave up the god and christianity thing very recently after severe brainwashing and it was a process not just a ‘Oh, there isn’t a god..ok, nvm.’
I’m all for you believing in god if you want to, but whether you believe in god, FSM or no god at all the important thing is you are making your decision off the basis of logic not emotions like fear or hope, which are things man has proposed to slant people’s opinion away from what the evidence really leads to.
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@Alchemist
Well…yes…who wants that!
@Lolli Popoff
That’s not very nice…here I was thinking that your personality might have been on the mend and you’ve gone and spoilt it by being nasty to poor old Thumpie.
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Ok…as I said yesterday the Bible is light on re strippers (David did a naked dance at one point and was forgiven but otherwise not much else…Lolli seems to know more about the Bible then me though so maybe he’ll assist…pretty please Lolli). The Bible has heaps to say about prostitutes…God doesn’t like hookers one little bit…must have had a bad experience.
Ezekiel 23:46-48
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“This is what the soverign Lord says: “Bring a mob to terrorise them and rob them. Let the mob stone them and attack them with swords, kill their children, and burn down their houses. Throughout the land I will put a stop to immorality, as a warning to every woman not to commit adultery as they did.”
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As you can see immorality is bad and likely to result in a mob of Christians turning up outside Pastafarian heaven with pitchforks and burning sticks.
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@Thumper
“God doesn’t like hookers one little bit…must have had a bad experience.”
First, i applaude the humor. Few of the hate-mailers have a sense of humor.
however, strippers aren’t getting paid for sex like hookers are. Plus, if they are coming from a factory in heaven, they are already approved by ‘god’
also, you are forgetting 2 important facts:
-the FSM isnt the christian god except for the few christians that believe in HIM
-flismy moral standards
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@Thumper
Naa they couldn’t, they’ll be in the bowels of the volcano brewing beer for the pastafarians =]
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@Raz
actually, they would be so overcome with joy at the sight of beer and strippers in heaven that they would join us
plus, pitchforks and burning sticks arent very peaceful. what happened to “love thy neighbor as thyself”
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@Dread Wench L’TUAE,
I was Captain Saucy for a while, but it wasn’t much fun. I was thinking about changing my name because I was inspired by Pixel Pete Thumper. Desiderata is a great name, but a little too lofty for me, I’m afraid. Saucy Lollipop is, well, silly and just a little suggestive. I guess I’ll end up just staying with Saucy Wench. It suits me.
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Uh…that was supposed to be Pixel Pete and Thumper. Sorry guys. Freudian slip, anyone?
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@TrueBeliever
Thats true, they’d just drop the pitchforks & torches at the entrance and join in on the drunken stripper parties =]
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@Kentuckian
For anyone who believes that the Bible is the word of God it’s hard to make logical decisions…believers should be terrified…my theory is that so long as you can adhere to the simple rules (such as the one about rock badger) you can slip “under the radar”…kinda like being on Big Brother.
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The whole strippers and beer volcano part is what SHOULD make it so appealing
i guess some people will just have to wait until theyre dead to believe
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if you dont believe in the bible, why do you believe in god? and more importantly why do you believe in the christian god? why NOT a flying spagetti monster? you shouldnt be worried about insulting god, you’ve already done that.
i fail to see your logic
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Thumper Jan 29th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
@Alchemist
Well…yes…who wants that!
Ok…as I said yesterday the Bible is light on re strippers (David did a naked dance at one point and was forgiven but otherwise not much else…Lolli seems to know more about the Bible then me though so maybe he’ll assist…pretty please Lolli). The Bible has heaps to say about prostitutes…God doesn’t like hookers one little bit…must have had a bad experience.”
.
I think I’ll kick back and let you butcher it a while longer.
You’re doing a fine job Thump!
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maybe he’ll talk about mary magdalin (and i cant spell) being a hooker!
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SaucyWench, I guess I agree Saucy, being a Lollipop could present problems for a girl.
For myself however, I think it “POPS”.
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@TrueBeliever (Jan 29 5.56pm)
God is certainly into “love thy neighbour” right up until the neighbours get noisey and it’s time to form a mob for some robbin’ and killin’.
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I’m thinking Pastafarian heaven and Christian heaven are likely situated similarly to the theme parks here on the Gold Coast. You’ve got Movieworld and Wet’n'Wild Waterworld side by side. Once God gets wind of the fact you’re all having fun, and worse yet, that some of the stripper might be turning tricks, you wait and see what happens. Angry Christian let by St Peter banging on the noodley gates looking to get “Old Testament” on your arse…at this point you’ll all put down your beer and say…”why didn’t we listen to Thumper…the wabbit who cared enough to show us the error of our ways.”
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I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me!
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OK, so if the christians come to the noodly gate’s with pitchforks and clubs, and the Heavy Machine Gun of Doom that situated on a giant meatball opens fire on them, would that be considered murder….or genocide? …what happens to the christians who get mowed down? Do they just teleport back to Christian Heaven and come back 5 mins l8er? In that case we can all take turns on the machine gun and it will be good sport when we get tired of the beer and strippers. Sounds like good fun… so now we got:
*Beer Volcanoes
*Stripper factories
*Wild christians running at our gates with pitchforks and clubs into heavy machine gun fire.
Wow…I can hardly wait.
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@TrueBeliever Jan 29th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
@Thumper
“was getting at the point many other people have made, which is you dont truelly believe the crap you’re saying and are enjoying the attention.â€
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hahahahahahaha……that’s classic…hahaha
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BeeeeelzuBUB has a devil put aside for meeee! Foooooor meee!!! Foooooooooooooor Meeeeeeeeee! *Electric guitar comes in*
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It’s no fun without all the irrational, religious zeal. He doesn’t even have a point anymore. Wanna beat a dead horse?
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Kentuckian, Me thinks you fit in nicely here at the CoFSM.
But we don’t have guns, we kill them with kindness! Kindness all ova the godamn place!
Ramen
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@ Kentuckian
If you had read my post more carefully, no where did I say that Kentucky had no atheists, or Pastafarians, for that matter. I was indeed referring to the fundies that you have banished to the hills. I was speaking from experience, having been verbally attacked by those fundies on another message board because I am a card carrying smug assclown of the evilutionist conspiracy. Louisville seems to be a bastion of sanity in a state of ignorance concerning ID/creationism. Obviously, you are not a fundie, therefore I was not referring to you. Regardless, Hell-fer-certain is an actual town in Kentucky. My apologies for the misunderstanding.
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@ Alchemist
At uni, I practically lived on beans on toast with Marmite and McVitie’s digestives for me tea. That and all the Boddington’s I could swallow. Marmite is loaded with vitamins and minerals, but it is an acquired taste.
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@ Thumpty
Maybe you should consider abandoning your ship of foolish funda mental ist crusade. You’re a bigger waffle than ex-Prez Clinton.
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RAmen
MJK
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I’m just visiting but it seems to me that Thumper is just playing. True christians wouldn’t say what he does about god. I think I’d rather be touched by the noodley appendage.
RAmen
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Hello everybody. I am a Bible scholar studying at The Ozark Christian College, in Joplin, Missouri.
I was shown this site by a fellow student. And I cried out loud at the disgust of it all. Do you people have any idea what you are doing to your souls?
I will pray, pray, pray for each and everyone of you!
You poor lost souls. If I can help any of you find your way. Please let me know.
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@ LP (formerly PP)
Slay them with the Sacred Sword of Sarcasm!!! Arrrgh!!!
RAmen
MJK
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@ Soon to be Preacher
These are shark infested waters, my good boy. Our souls are safe and sound, but thank you for the concern. Fear not, the FSM has a place for you at the beer volcano and your own personal lap dance with one of our lurvely strippers, if you so desire.
RAmen
MJK
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@Soont to be Preacher
Your convictions making me so hot
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Alas it would seem that the wabbit skinning knives have come out…timely as I have work to do. I’ll leave you with this thought…there’s no such thing as monsters.
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@ Captain Mad
I can’t accept your apolgies Captain, for I owe you mine first for the barbaric name-calling and rash insults. May I be more open to the light of the FSM in the future, for shrouded in darkness, I lost the grip of his noodly one’s firm appendage trying to lead me toward my better self.
May we all find peace through the FSM and pray for those fundies in Kentucky to Whom you were referring who have been banished to the mountains.
RAmen.
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@Soon to be Preacher
yeah, we know what you think we’re doing to our souls. What you don’t get is that we don’t think that’s true. We just want to believe the trueth and go to heaven, enjoy the stripper factory and beer volcano, and if we’re wrong we will happily go to hell with all of the other interesting people.
not that i expect you will even look at this site again, but i think i am beyond your help. i am a jew (and still believe in the FSM). and i bet no one except maybe MIKE wants your help.
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@ Pretty Polly
he doesn’t believe it. We have said that so many times and he hasnt said anything about it yet
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@Soon to be Preacher,
Where do I start? Your message was lucid and seemingly kind, yet it had condescension all over it. You may think we are poor lost souls, and that is your right. We also have the right to believe what we want, with or without your approval. You may think my response is a bit hostile, but I’ve had a lifetime of listening to the likes of you. The more you pray for me, the more I will believe exactly what I want to believe. If I were you, I’d pray for someone who is actually searching for something in which to believe. Or better yet, pray for the millions of starving, oppressed, voiceless souls suffering damnation on this plane.
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Thumper. Please don’t leave. After reading your posts. I can truly see how lost you are. While some here will be forever condemned to hell. It is very obvious that you want to be saved. Please friend stay and chat with me.
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@True Believer – That quote re:’Without faith I am nothing’ is paraphrased from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
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@Kentuckian – Nothing ever matters/To meeeeee.
(Any way the wind blows)
—GONGGGGGgggggg—
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@Thumper Jan 29th, 2007 at 6:57 pm
“Alas it would seem that the wabbit skinning knives have come out…timely as I have work to do.”
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I’ll bet you are secretly going to catch a cat for lunch, or maybe a rcok badger, aren’t you. Beware the furballs!
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SaucyWench. I’m sorry if I came off strong but I was truly heartbroken at the things I’ve read here. I only want to help.
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Who all agrees that we’ll come to Soon to be Preacher if we want help?
Sod off, dear fellow. I’m damning myself to hell under my own steam, thank you.
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@Soon to be Preacher
Can I be your altar boy? =]
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And now a song dedicated to the O’ loving Soon to be Preacher who cares so much about our soul’s:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rAg5kTLeMh4
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@Soon to be Preacher
“Thumper. Please don’t leave. After reading your posts. I can truly see how lost you are. While some here will be forever condemned to hell. It is very obvious that you want to be saved. Please friend stay and chat with me.”
you think he wants to be saved? we think he wants to cause trouble. please, find another place to “save” him. exchange email addresses or something. dont clog up our site with your crap. how would you like it if we went and tried to convert people at church?
dont take thumper away, then all we have left are the mean fundies. Thumper isnt that mean, or a true fundie. and hes vrey entertaining
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may you be touched by his noodly appendage
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@Dread Amish Pirate John
cool, thanks. i found it on the site. i love it
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I know I’m coming late to this, but I haven’t been able to post for about a month due to a nasty computer virus.
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Anyway, why do Xians always think that threatening non-Xians with Hell will somehow scare them? Hell sounds like a great place to me. I hate cold weather. Anyway, I hear it’s a dry heat.
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OEJ, Ship’s Navigator
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I’m both touched (by nothing noodley) and torn! Do I follow Soon to be Preacher into the light or do I say amoung the sinners…ummmm…what would Jesus have done??? I’m guessing he would have stayed with the sinners.
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Sorry Soon to be Preacher…they need me more then you and besides your probably one of these Christian who thinks that so long as you follow most of the rules it’s fine to eat rock badger.
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@Soon to be Preacher,
I’m sorry that you’re heartbroken. There are some things that I am heartbroken to see, so I understand the feeling. However, I cannot ever believe in your God. I am constitutionally unable to do so. I don’t think I’ve ever admitted it on this site before, but I’ve actually gone to Christian churches in my younger days. At one time, I was saved. I was actually baptized by an ex-boss of mine because he thought my soul was possessed. What a freakshow. Maybe I had the misfortune of meeting every whackjob fundamentalist out there, but the Christians I ran into, who had a huge impact on what I think of Christianity, scared me permanently. I was raised an athiest, and when Christianity had an opportunity to show me the way, its representatives blew it. Don’t even ask me about my ex-husband’s ex-wife, the fervent Christian who is especially frothy every time she gets out of prison. Maybe Jesus should be more particular about whom he lets broadcast His message.
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Bloody hell Thumper, that Rock Badger gets around a bit!
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Lets give thumper a big round of applause.
Doesn’t it feel good to tell off a fundie?
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@Thumper
Welcome to the darkside.. :)
You’re on your way to becoming a pastafarian
May you be touched by his noodly appendage
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I will leave you all with a point to ponder. Believe in God! He gave his only son so that you could be saved. I didn’t come here to argue. I only wanted to help. Jesus will be there for you.
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He wasn’t there, and he won’t be. Sorry, guy. He gave his son, but then took him back anyway, so there really wasn’t a sacrifice in the first place. Oh, and you failed at helping. It must have been the whole Hell thing that kinda tainted your message.
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@Soon to be Preacher
You know you can’t resist a young boy ;)
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Yes…Jesus DID give his only son so that we could be saved…along with the gods of about 200 other religious myths who never it to the big league like christianity. That religion has been revised and recycled so many other times before it was actually a success….perhaps you should spend some time studying the history of religion ’soon to be preacher’ before you dedicate your life to what is almost certainly a non-existant diety.
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^ ouch..sorry that sounds a bit aggresive.
What I meant to say is, lotsa love from his noodly one. I hope you live a long, happy life.
RAmen.
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*replace jesus with god in first sentence
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@Soon to be Preacher,
You say it like it’s an option. I cannot believe in your God. I tried. I could, if I so desired, say that I am going to try to believe. I could even go to church and read the Bible. I won’t though, because it’s a fruitless venture. I have actually become more in touch with my own beliefs by participating in these discussions than I ever did at church. His Noodliness has actually caused something to stir inside me. Jesus never did. Just write me off, please.
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@ OEJ
Welocme back, shipmate. Long time no, no see. We have truly missed your navigational skills upon these fundie-infested waters.
And I agree, who would want to spend an eternity singing Kum-by-ya with a load of god-botherers when we can join up with all our friends for the Big Party.
RAmen
MJK
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@Kentuckian,
You go, man! Talk about it!
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@ soon to be. Jesus has been notable by his absence recently (now there’s a phrase that brings back memories). Is your life so wonderful?
Would you say that to parents who have lost a child? Children who have lost a parent? Would you expect to have the same shaped nose after you told them that “Jesus will help them”?
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I don’t know how you guys could get this soo wrong. There is no Flying Spaghetti Monster. A polytheist is someone who believes in many gods. A monotheist is a person who believes in one god. An atheist is someone who believes in zero gods.
I believe we have to go one step further and believe in the anti-god. This is the belief that God anti-exists. That the number of existent gods =-1. If by chance some actual god springs into existence the anti-god will immediately cancel him out causing a terrific release of energy measuring hundreds of candles.
There used to be many anti-gods but alas, gods started popping into existence and cancelling them out. Anti-Zeus was one of the first to go. Anti-FSM was one of the latest to pop out of existence when FSM came along, leaving us with not minus 2 but minus 1 gods. My anti-god, I call him Negativo, wants us not to believe in him. This is difficult for me, and I admit that I am not a great Negativian. I am striving to do better (or less), but I’m not getting much help.
You see we hardly ever get the real story from mythology. In actuality the world was created by the many negative gods in the year minus infinity. But the universe was not zero matter at that time, it was actually in the minus column. That’s what makes the feat that the negative gods pulled off so incredible! They had to work their way to zero before they could even start making positive stuff. Objects truly worthy of worship!
This is much harder to do than starting from zero, like a lot of gods are supposed to have done. And even harder to do if you don’t exist, or less.
Us Negativians are a lonely bunch. There may one be one of us (or less). Atheists like to brag that they just believe in one god less than the rest of us. This is no longer true. I believe in less gods than that. So, you can go cry in your beer you Atheists you. You are no longer on the extreme end.
Namen
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As I said to a friend of mine today. (I like this quote)
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“I thought it mattered! I thought that music mattered. Does it bollocks! It’s people that matter!”
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The sooner we stop worrying about the next life, and realise that this is the only life, the better!
Take responsibilities for our actions and stop blaming them on others, real or imaginary!
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Why do they hit and run, when I’m on a beer run?
Soon to be Preacher, you still on board here?
I’d like to discuss with you.
I heard about that whole jesus thing myself, I have.
I’d even wager since you’re still in school, I know more about him then you.
You sound pleasant enough, Soon to be Preacher. Why don’t you email me at: notchemung@gmail.com.
Don’t worry I won’t beat up on you to much. I only want to help friend.
L. P.
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