You’re going to hell for degrading god to a pile of noodles. Have fun burning for an eternity. -Erik Vavro
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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@Raf, most people don’t care if they die in the end.
I do believe you’ll find that they do care very much, but as it is fairly inevitable most people realise they can’t do much about it, beyond hope that its a ways off yet.
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As for all this twaddle that we are all doomed to die because of sins; my goldfish died and he was a very pious little sole (crap pun).
We all die because like every other living organism our bits wear out.
Some bits wear out because of old age, some probably as in your case ’cause they get played with too much.
By the way when you need it; did you know that Viagra is Ireland’s biggest export, so a Pfizer employee told me but he may have just been bragging about the size!
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And finally; converts and perverts of the FSM are not a Herd, they are a bunch of individuals each with their own point of view, they don’t even stand-up and sit-down atthe same time as each other.
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And finally, finally; how do the Chrisitans expect to be taken seriously when the Pope’s job is given to the Emperor from Star Wars.
May the Force Be With You, Raf
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@Privateer “And finally, finally; how do the Christians expect to be taken seriously when the Pope’s job is given to the Emperor from Star Wars.
May the Force Be With You, Raf”
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I don’t know much about Star Wars, but for some reason I do like this sentence… Alas (well, that is for the playful Pastafarians), unlike bbctol Raf won’t probably come back. Waste of time…
Time we could spend helping Neanderthal to EVOLUTE, learning him/her some English, beginning with small sentences, then explaining some existential things, not letting Bill come near for a while (that would scare him/her off)…
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@ Jean Bart I don’t know much about Star Wars
As forms for all sorts of things ask for religion to be identified and there is a space for other there was a bit of a fad for putting Jedi in as your religion.
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As for the pope/emperor, you just have to see a picture of the current pope and a picture of the Emperor together, the resemblence is uncanny.
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If it is for the good of the herd to evolvify Neanderthal then assitance may be available.
It may be a lost cause though; probably not enough cells and certainly a lack of frontal lobe
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@DPG
Was looking forward to a chat with Raf. As you know, I teach Sunday School every Thursday night at my local YMCA dressed as a firefighter. I enjoy the odd religious debate :) Good for relieving my tension!
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@ Alchemist
I suspect, as I intimated, that Raf may have another way of relieving his tension.
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@Privateer. I hope not. After Hungdaddy I don’t think my wings could stand it :)
“Nurse, the screens please”
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@ Alchemist
Is it just me (probably) or is Sudoku the work of the devil?
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An does that make Carol Vorderman a Succubus
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@Privateer
I love Sudoku!! If it the work of the devil, I am going to keep doing them as my path to the beer volcano…
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@Anyone
Is anyone interested in explaining to me how “GOD” is meant to be God, The Son of God, The Holy Ghost, The Spirit, The Lamb of God, and however many other things he is? I tried to read the bible, hoping to figure out what these fundies were talking about, but in all honesty I just could not wrap my mind around it all.
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“Raf Feb 23rd, 2007 at 4:52 am
I am asking to the creator of FSM: “Aren’t all religions evil?†I agree they are, and I am a christian. Certainly I believe in the gospel, but I consider it to be not a religion, but merely the truth. Maybe someone told you already, but the message of Jesus is unique in this way He is representing God Who has the most profound love for His creation. “Why?†you would ask: Because His love for us is proven in the ACT of love. He has given us the outcome of this worlds tragedy by sacrificing Himself. Wich of gods would do that? We even couldn’t imagine a God so great, that He would bear the humiliation for our salvation, even though, do you find it in your heart this Act is normal? When you love your children, you would give your live for them.
Now, for the MOST IMPORTANT MESSAGE OF GOD: aside of the fact He has made it possible for us to be saved in therms of FACT, there is the FAITH part as well.
Listen people, please take my Word, God is speaking through me, just consider and think it over and over:
“My Loving God has given to ALL the promise of the ultimate Life. No pain, no fear, no wars, no sickness, no death, no guilt because of no sin. ”
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Your god does all this?
Then why the hell do innocent little kids die horrible deaths, and leave their parents in such terrible pain, in times of war?
Doesn’t add up to me?
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@Batman “Is anyone interested in explaining to me how “GOD†is meant to be God, The Son of God, The Holy Ghost, The Spirit, The Lamb of God, and however many other things he is?”
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Oh no, not THAT! You actually want somebody to explain the whole “Trinity” controverse! It’s a Protestants vs. Catholics battlefield, amongst others, and they’re battling since the 16th century about it (and Transsubstantiation too). Mine field ahead. Anayway, I’ve got to go: I’ll come back within five hours or so, and I’ll count the points!
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@RAF
Nothing I have read thus far would lead me to believe that “God” as you know him is a loving god. He seems mean and spiteful and petty to me. It even says in the bible (oh no, a half-assed bible quote coming up here) that “thou shalt not worship other gods, for I am a jealous god”. Jealousy is not about love… jealousy is about power. You god is not about love, he/she is about power, and that power tends to manifest most clearly in small minds. The sad thing is, while some people find the gospel to be inspiration for charity and kindness, their quiet acts of goodness are overshadowed by the mean, power-hungry people who commit acts of violence all over the world. It is sad that those who would interpret the gospel (or “truth”, according to you) as a justification for killing and opression are taking away from the message of those who would use it for good.
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@Jean Bart
eep!! I didn’t realize it was so complicated. People always seem to talk about it so matter-of-factly, I just assumed that there was some kind of universal theory that I wasn’t privy to.
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Hi Peter, you ok?
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@Privateer – I had a go with Sudoku when it first hit the shores in our Sceptred Land. Was ok for a while but soon got bored with it. I’m a sod for cryptic crosswords though (until I get bored with them – no staying power, that’s my problem :))
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Carol Vorderbeast is ok but no succubus! Now Susie Dent, phwooor, she has a lovely smile {manic wing flapping}.
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@Alchemist, you’ve got response 1111! How does that feel? And now I’ AM off, catch you later on, around (my) midnight I guess.
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@Jean – hahahahaha – see you later, take care :)
D
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@ Alchemist
No staying power, you may need the power of Irelands biggest export.
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If you haven’t been paying attention Jean Bart has the knowing
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@Privateer – The little blue pill? hahahahaha. Thanks mate :) Not required yet – no bloody need for it {sob, sob, sob}
How goes it?
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@Alchemist & Privateer
Little blue pill?
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@Batman – Viagra :)
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@Alchemist
OOOOOH… Ok, I get the joke now. =P
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@Alchemist
Did you know that apparently one of the side effects of Viagra is vision loss? My grandmother’s prediction coming true…
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who said that, eh, where are you? I’ve just got to shave my palms Batman!
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@Alchemist
HA HA HA HA… funny, yet disturbing mental image of hairy palms… :-S
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I’m in Canada, eh. =) Self abuse not only leads to furtive palm shaving, but also blindness… *snicker
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@Batman
“Is anyone interested in explaining to me how “GOD†is meant to be God, The Son of God, The Holy Ghost, The Spirit, The Lamb of God, and however many other things he is?”
The trinity thing is a piece of very bad math on the part of religious people. You have the father, one. The son, another one. And the holy spirit, yet another one. And then they all form this single thing called the trinity. So 1 + 1 + 1 = 1. Like other things in Christianity, it doesn’t add up.
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DutchPastaGuy,
It’s simple really, like that American politician said…
It’s fuzzy math.
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DPG – You need more Sunday School – I teach it on a Thursday if you like :)
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The three in one is a borrowed belief Soma, Pneuma and Psyche – body, soul and mind – should be in a different order but can’t be arsed changing it.
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God (xtian one) is all three. Three was a perfect number in those days, purity I think. So the bible was reinterpreted to include that. A bit like saying you had all of the winning numbers for the lottery after it was drawn :)
7 is also a holy number, that’s why 666 is the number of the beast. A perfect imperfection.
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@Batman – Canada? I have relatives in Vancouver! We don’t keep in contact much, but Canada sounds a nice place (not Quebec though hahahaha)
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Ah – the trinity – it is a bit like a shamrock leaf – 3 leaves but 1 leaf – apparently.
Total bollocks of course, but a good one for earning your “I can believe 6 impossible things before breakfast” points.
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Well Batman, “GOD” is True Life on Himself. You can’t define God by gender, age or space. He is. That means that nothing can determine God into a certain direction, any form or attitude. He just is, like He has always been the same.
Since time and space have no impact on Him, we can understand that God has existed always and can be everywhere where He determines Himself to be. In fact He is the never-ending Beginning, knowing all, always and everywhere. He knows all things to come as all things that are in the past. All things have been created by God. Even the concept of evil thoughts and actions are a creation of His great mind.
You may ask why all things are as they are right now; a sick world dying, when this reality is not to be assumed according to Gods intention of Love and Perfection. The answer is clear: man is being sucked into damnation by his own evil desires. The one evil desire that forms the foundation of all evil desires is the desire to be independently from God. The underlying lie is that freedom comes within the independence from God. In fact the devil is always trying to deceive us by telling us that we, ourselves, would be capable to look out for ourselves, arousing vanity in us. But the undeniable truth is that no creation can be appreciated by its own means. For the finger cannot point the finger without the eye. As the finger cannot see the point and the eye cannot point without the finger.
As the Creator is free of choice and knowing right from wrong, so is His finest creation equiped with the freedom of choice and knowledge of the good and the bad. As you all know, Genesis begins with the history of Adam en Eve, choosing to disobey to God and obeying to the desire to be apart of God, as gods independently from God. For God had given man the knowledge of one bad thing – picking the apple – to give man choice in this fashion man would have the smallest burden possible to bear; to obey God and not picking that apple.
The consequence of disobedience to God results into death!
I don’t have to mention that all physical creatures die in the end. Even the finest metal would degenerate in time floating into the vacuous as it is influenced by its solitude existence.
So, when we are talking of God, first we have to conclude He is the Creator, the Beginning and the End, Everlasting, Righteous, True and Almighty. Since He has more names than these, I’ll explain why He has revealed Himself to be the Son of God; the Lamb of God; the Holy Ghost, and Spirit of Truth.
Since God has created all things, it is imaginable He created everything in order that the most important of all creations would be prevailing to be as wise and as perfect, eternal, everlasting as the Creator is that all. But since we would all make the choice to ‘try’ to make it on our own, without God, we are destined to die. Is this the plan of the Almighty God? Can’t God create anything that is worthy in the eyes of God? What kind of sadist is this God, that has never though of an idea to save us from this tragic destiny? No, just wait a minute, this is it, folks! “Where is the Love in what we consider to be God of Heavens?†God has been pulled down to some god who is not caring at all. Instead He ALWAYS gave us the way out from this tragic destiny! Every book in the old testament defines the Love of merciful God by the Promise of Salvation. He is promising salvation to Adam and Eve and all fathers of the Jewish people. Even now, Jews are awaiting their messiah apart from Jesus, who is to them mere a deceiver.
God explains in the scriptures that all who had faith in Him by trusting in His Promise of eternal life, are being justified by this faith. Even when those who have been saved by the promise, never actually knew what kind of salvation God had in mind, they accepted God to be the Loving Father as He is for all of his children.
The gospel says that Jesus is indeed God in the flesh, Who had died for ALL mankind in order that we would have eternal life. It is written that Jesus already promised to give His life for us, in the first days of His creation. Was God in fact that loving that He would even forgive us our sins before we even could sin? Yes, it is the Truth.
Jesus has made a merit of eternal life because He had never sinned, so He was declared to be worthy to bear the burden of the sin of all man. Imagine that the Son of God has earned the right to inherit all Power from God, being a Man Himself. For God is Spirit and Jesus proclaimed Himself to be the Word of God, we can conclude, He was in fact fully possessed by the Holy Spirit, God Himself.
So He died and received punishment for all unrighteousness that has been committed by man. Than He has died, after even He was forsaken by His Own Father – the gravest punishment possible – , and then He sat for three days in the outmost bottom of the world of the death, being tormented by the devil. After those three days He rose again, having defeated the devil, risen from the dead. Forty days He spent with His disciples and hundreds of people saw Him being revived. Finally He was taken back to the Father in the Spirit. The Spirit, Who is God, He has given us to lead us into Salvation, after He made it possible for us, sinners, to receive Gods Spirit by taking away the burden of sin that results into death, so we would be holy and without a trace of guilt.
Now all children of God have received the courage to be not ashamed standing before God, when this world ends in the eternal damnation of spiritual darkness, because God finds no evil in them, since they are relying on the promise that once this wicked world has come to an end, they will receive all knowledge and goodness needed for them to reign in eternal peace.
So whenever you are wondering why we, human beings, are in fact such fools, consider us to be the foolers as well as the fools. God has given us the wisdome to become wise again, and if you believe we will be always fooling ourselves, you are in fact fooling yourself.
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Alchemist, 666, is merely 999 upside down,
no need to complicate things.
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I always complicate things Peter :)
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@Raf – are you hanging around? I promise I won’t be nasty to you. I’d like too chat!
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to chat even :(
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@Raf …”You can’t define God by gender, age or space. He is.”
So, no gender then!
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@Raf
Sorry buddy, but I can not be bothered to read that incredibly long post, so I have skimmed it instead, and while I am hoping you are using sarcasm, or at the very least expressing the bible’s view and not your own, I am leaning towards thinking that you are actually encouraging the belief that god is the be all/end all of existence. So my response is this;
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You mention satan as the cause and embodiment of evil. I don’t believe in satan, except as an idea to personify evil. This personification is applied by many religious fanatics to all acts commited that do not align with your own world view. You people use Satan as a means of dehumanizing those who do not accept your god or your religion, which makes it easier for you to commit atrocities against those people. god also is merely an idea, in my opinion, and while religion may in some cases make good people better, it does not, in fact, make bad people good. I think religion sometimes can actually make bad people worse, by granting them “divine reasoning” to justify their evil.
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Forgive spelling and grammar in this post… please… and also I am not really into reasoning with someone who is so clearly off his rocker.
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Hmmm – Raf’s writing style is familiar :( will keep out of this one!
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@Raf ; ” and then He sat for three days in the outmost bottom of the world of the death, being tormented by the devil. After those three days He rose again, having defeated the devil, risen from the dead”
Riiiiiiiight – erm, say what? Anyone else having funny pictures of Jesus at the bottom of a well looking pissed off?
And, if he defeated the devil how come us sinners are still being fooled by him?
Actually, my dear Raf, you have been fooled by lots of other fools themselves deluded by myths invented to ease the fear of dying and the grief of losing loved ones, and used by tribal leaders to subjugate the masses. Unlucky.
Anyway Pasta is the much tastier option.
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@Alchemist
No fair!! All of you guys/gals who have been here for longer always know who these posters are, and I feel left out. =( Who is his writing style reminiscent of? PLEASE spill the beans… (or the parmesan, if you like…)
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@Booty
HA HA HA HA HA… I wasn’t picturing it in that way, but now I am…
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Not on an open site Batman and I’m often wrong :)
you’re very welcome to drop me a line on
baccahnaliandelight@yahoo.co.uk
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I’d tell you what I thought, but then I’d have to kill you :)
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@ Batman – I have given up wondering who is pretending to be who now, I just let them get on with it – and I think you will find some of the older lot have a bit of a “conspiracy theory” thing going on ;) I try not to take it to seriously. But it is funny to read along.
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@Alchemist
Do you really teach Sunday school? My mom’s side of the family is mennonite, and I know some of my aunts are going to Sunday school, which I always thought was for children. What exactly does Sunday school teach? Or is Sunday School a euphemism for drinking in the sports pubs? (not meaning that in a disrespectful way at all, just wondering)
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@Booty
OK, I will keep that in mind. What conspiracy theory though?
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@Rafs nurse
Quick, the valium! The patients mind signals are off the scale. His mind is in a terrible state. Try to stabilise him with an injection. Once he is a bit more stable, we’ll try to wipe his mind free of this mental virus which has overtaken him. Though I fear he might have reached a state where it has become incureable.
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Really Raf, try to use your mind a bit. Ask yourself why there are so many, sometimes completely different religions around. If you had been born in India, you would now be a firm believer of reincarnation and multitudes of different gods. Try to understand that your religion is no more valid (i. e. completely invalid) than Hinduism, Buddism, etc. You live your life by a geographical fairy tale coincidence of birth. Not a very good basis, is it?
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Although the first part of this message was a nonsense rant, the bit about you being mentally incureable is probably true. From your point of view that may be the best thing for it. Because if you ever saw some rational good sense and you read back your posts in this thread, boy oh boy would you feel silly.
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@Batman re Sunday School. Hell no! I was a xtian for a few years but had fits of the giggles through bible study (seriously) got told off so many times. I have done some lecturing though – not remotely biblical, apart from some of the jokes ;)
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@ DutchPastaGuy
There is only one teaching that speaks true salvation. It is the gift of eternal life, not because the creature is earning its salvation but just because the Creator loves his creatures, even when they are disobedient. It is because of this gift, true salvation is revealed, for the truth is that no one is capable to do any good or what is right, besides of God Himself.
Why am I still sinning, even though I have received eternal life ? Because Jesus had made it clear that none of his followers would know the whole truth or would have all the knowledge of God. But when the world ends all children of God will know their Father as He has known them all from the beginning.
My Hope lies within the Promise of God He will save me from sin, permanently. In this manner by His Promise I am already saved from sin, and Jesus has already defeated death. You ‘ld better hope the best too.
I am reassured that I will live an eternity with God. I am shure of my future in Him. Because He has loved every human being so much, that He gave His Only Son to die for us to be saved from the damnation of sin; death. He died for you too, nederlandstalige pastawreter!
If I am that shure of such a bright future, I cannot be afraid of death anymore, can I?
Are you all spaghetti people not afraid to die? Can you understand that most of the people search refugee in religion because the fear death?
Well, since I became Jesus’ apprentice, I have learned the true meaning of life.
TO DO JUST OUT OF LOVE !!!
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and thus not “to do good out of fear” that is feeding out of the hypocrisy that in the end we all would be found ‘worthy’ because of our own actions, of wich we intend to call them “good”.
Instead these kind of religious people are just believing in an unfair judgement. “God can’t be that severe to us, because He is Love, right?” NO! Yes, He is Love, but He is also Just. So no sinner will be considered to be holy, just like that!
God can’t be that severe to us, and He is Love: YES! HE IS JESUS! Take it or leave it! Consider it properly!
And someone directed me concerning the pope:
The pope and catolicism are bad things for the Gospel of Mercy. It is a shame that the pope is even now changing Gods message to the people into: “Jesus has died for many” That is a lie. “JESUS DIED FOR ALL MANKIND”
Maybe the pope is not realising it, but he is in fact the child of the devil.
I was also a child of the devil before a was reborn in the Spirit. Everyone who has no certainty of perfect life by faith that is a gift of God, is in fact a child of the devil.
I hope lost of you spaghetti-people will come to understand the truth and the true meaning of life, love, faith, hope.
I am very glad to say that Jesus is my Darling and My Dearest. He has shown to me real love in giving me all I ever wanted: to be free and flawless.
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Hi Guys.
I have a website with a link to my stuff on the ‘logic of emotion’. Someone emailed me with serious painful problems. Really sad and abusive past. The person said my paper helped. I hope it did. They also mentioned how the problems were being fixed by them, the person’s therapist, and God. I’m wondering if maybe it somehow came from someone who came here?
The ‘god’ thing was an invitation for a lecture from me. I felt I was being tested.
I don’t really expect an answer. Probably only one person knows. I just wanted to share. I responded, I hope, caringly
I didn’t go into my usual rant about how God doesn’t exist and they should try something else.
From Maria (on the atheist thread) to this, it’s hard to know how to give good caring advice and still be honest. I believe mainstream religion is an evil, but it’s hard to fight it everywhere.
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@Bill
Good to see you back! I was wondering if you had left for good… which would be a sad thing.
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Um, I don’t know anything about what was written and what was asked of you, but I’m sure you responded caringly, because nothing I have heard you say has ever struck me as uncaring or blindly mean. Perhaps she did want to test you, but maybe she wanted to test herself… if she just recently is working out her life problems and has only just “discovered” god, maybe she is finding it difficult to accept all of “his” teachings (who wouldn’t) and is looking for someone to show her a different way? Or maybe she just wanted someone to listen to her, which it sounds like you did.
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Don’t be so hard on yourself, friend. Questioning yourself and examining your life is all to the good, but you also need to trust that if you mean well, it will come across in your interactions with others.
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@Bill
Good to see you back! I was wondering if you had left for good… which would be a sad thing.
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Um, I don’t know anything about what was written and what was asked of you, but I’m sure you responded caringly, because nothing I have heard you say has ever struck me as uncaring or blindly mean. Perhaps she did want to test you, but maybe she wanted to test herself… if she just recently is working out her life problems and has only just “discovered” god, maybe she is finding it difficult to accept all of “his” teachings (who wouldn’t) and is looking for someone to show her a different way? Or maybe she just wanted someone to listen to her, which it sounds like you did.
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Don’t be so hard on yourself, friend. Questioning yourself and examining your life is all to the good, but you also need to trust that if you mean well, it will come across in your interactions with others.
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@Everyone
&*^%$%#%$^%!! I don’t know why that posted twice… sorry to all.
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Need a test. Please ignore
test test test
test
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@Batman
Hey there.
I’m not going to leave. I’m running out of ideas I can spring on you guys. I may slow down thou. Check out the ‘atheist arrogant’ post, mostly for you, because you requested it, and alchemist. I found out from my test that we can do bold and italics here which will help for some of my posts. If anyone want’s to know how, I’ll clue you in.
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