You’re going to hell for degrading god to a pile of noodles. Have fun burning for an eternity. -Erik Vavro
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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What’s an erection?
It’s how they pick their presidents in Japan.
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How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony?
It’s not hard.
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What’d one lesbian frog say to the other?
I’ll be damned! We really do taste like chicken!
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Haha, I got to go through the jokes before I could post this:
@bill tomlinson “O.K. I’m looking at http://bibleforums.org I’d like to go undercover. I want to tell them about the “evil†of this site, I think. Admit it, we need the stimulus. Is that the best site for getting some fundies?”
Not sure that will work. Look at what they say at their home page:
“We have no desire to enter into arguments or debates with other faiths as to the validity of Christianity for we know Whom we serve.”
And now for copying the jokes, RAmen!
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Hiya Pixel. Check out the Skiver’s Corner too!
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Sign in an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER… PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
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@Alchemist
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
I never knew the BBC could be so funny!
RAmen
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Jean. Going undercover is good but you have to be careful. They can smell intruders too! Get your legend in place first :)
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oops. Sorry. Didn’t read your post correctly! It’s the jokes wot done it.
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Medical students
As part of their final examinations, a group of 6th year medical students attend their first autopsy. The head honcho medico professor tells the students “There are two things required from those who want to practice medicine:
1. You must never be offended by bodily function.
The professor inserts his finger into the anus of the corpse and than puts his finger into his mouth and sucks it. He tells the students to do the same. Horrified, but not wanting to fail, the students do so one by one gagging and some of them vomiting.
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The Professor again addresses the students:
“The other most important requirement of medical practice, is observation. Not one of you observed that I inserted my ring finger into the corpse anus but inserted my index finger into my mouth!
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hahaha but now….. More Bad Jokes! Or not so bad, really.
*
Reintarnation: being reborn as a hillbilly.
*
Jesus is walking by the gates of heaven when St. Peter asks him if he can watch the gates for a while. Jesus agrees, and St. Peter tells him all he has to do is check thier name against the book. Soon along comes a little rickety old man.
Jesus says “Welcome to heaven good sir! What is your name?”
Old man says “well… I don’t really remember.” Jesus asks if there is anything he can remember. The old man says “well… I remember I was born a very long time ago.” Jesus looks at him and asks if there is anything else. The old man says “well….I remember I was a carpenter.” Jesus does a double take and says “Is there anything else you remember?” The old man says “well…. I remember my son was adored by millions.”
Jesus leans close and says “..Dad?”
The old man says “Pinochio?”
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@Dread Wench
Pinochio! One of my favorite Jokes. That’s for the reminder!
But I had one more part to it. “I remember that my son had holes in his hands and holes in his feet”
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@Teddy
If you (or anyone) would like to check out my cleaned up version of ‘What is a good morality and why be moral?’ goto http://homepage.mac.com/Whybemoral.html
I welcome criticism
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Bill. Big critique from me. Can’t get on the bloody site. Says it’s inactive.
Sorry.
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@Alchemist
Oops I should have checked
http://homepage.mac.com/billtomlinson/Whybemoral.html
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Thanks mate :) Back soon, I’m going to read it (shock horror!)
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@anybody
There was an interview with Dawkins on the Steven Colbert (sp?) show. I would love to see it. Anyone have it? Also love to see Dawkins ‘root of all evil’ docu.
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I like the act with integrity bit. I’ve had a couple of existential crises in my life. The first was because I was working in a field that I had some serious questions about, morally. Integrity can be a bugger at times. It’s not number 4 though!
Have you read Schick and Vaughn “How to Think About Weird Things – Critical Thinking for a New Age”
Not completely related but what the hell :)
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@Alchemist
That’s a good book. Some people use it for the class i teach. It doesn’t push against religion enough for my taste, but I understand. It needed to get read.
And thanks for looking at the page. I must confess that if someone finds it totally off, I’m going to have a hard time changing my view (it just seems so right to me) without an alternative view to take its place.
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Bill. “Some people use it for the class i teach”. That book should be A Level /high school not for the level you read at! The Glover one I’ve mentioned was a book that made me take a good look at my views.
I think Sophies World should be core syllabus at schools – it was such a lovely introduction!
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@Alchemist
Those two I’m not familiar with, and don’t remember the Glover book you are referring to. If I wanted to look at glover, where should I start. I’ll look for sophies world.
P.S. My first year college students might not be up to european standards. It’s a different system here. Many work 40 hrs a week and expect to take 12 hours of classes, not realizing that most classes take 2 hrs outside of class for every hr inside. Here, it is probable that, ‘how to think about weird things’ would not be inappropriate here, on the first year college level.
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@Bill. Good point. We tend to specialise earlier over in the uk. Not sure if that’s good or bad. My apologies. Wasn’t getting snooty!
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J Glover “Causing Death and Saving Lives – the moral problems of abortion, infanticide etc”
Sophies World. Jostein Gaarder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sophie%27s_world
It’s a cracker! Seriously!
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@alchemist
thx (and maybe 1138)
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@alchmist
I didn’t take it as snooty. From an objective standpoint, I believe the college education in europe and canada is superior to US, in fact. And the reason is because of the system. We try to get as many people into the university as possible, which means that we have to teach to a lower level, unless we want to have some classes that bring them up to speed, which we don’t.
My first rule “Recognize reality”
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Ah Bill. It’s a brave new world we live in :)
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Bill. We’re going the same way in the UK. When I took my first degree one of my readers stated that soon degrees would have to be four years long, the first year would be to get us up to an acceptable level for advanced study.
Now we have a MRes degree. Master of Research. I thought that was part of a BSc! I’m getting old Bill! I’m starting to sound like my Dad.
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@Alchemist
You’re not old until you like reubarb? or
You’re not old until you call everyone ‘young whippersnapper’. or
Your’re not old until you curse by saying ‘dag nabbit’
I think walter brennen was born old.
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I agree with Bill. Another suggestion would be to stop expecting K -12 schools to run with out enough money. To teach in public schools in the states is to take a vow of poverty. It’s amazing to me what shit our govenment has been willing to spend money on for that past decade. Congress and W have managed to absolutely blow away the previous record for deficit spending (Coincidentally the previous record was held by W’s daddy who took the record from Reagan and yet some people still think the GOP is the fiscally responsible party.) and all they did for education was to cripple it financially through the imposition of unfunded mandates. No child left behind has its merits, but by not funding it they have turned it into an anchor around the neck of public schools from coast to coast.
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By way of comparison, can anyone tell me what president set the record for the largest budget surplus and from which party he came? I’m just sayin’…
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@MadDay
I hate Bush as next as the next guy but I don’t think I can blame a lot of this on him (but a lot more of other things). I think we should have intermediate classes to prepare students for the university. And the university shouldn’t lower it’s standards if prepared students aren’t there. I’m for universal education but it’s best when the students in your class are on a comparable level. And don’t tell students they need a university education if a good trade school for their interests is an alternative.
NMAO
RA men
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@Maddavy
I would guess “Clinton” set the largest budget surplus. But I have to say it might be cheating because of inflation.
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@bill tomlinson Feb 4th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
@Alchemist
“You’re not old until you call everyone ‘young whippersnapper’.”
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Or “kiddo”
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I’ll have you know that “kiddo” is a term of respect and endearment in the sugar lump mines of my reality. Git hahaha
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He also got lucky because the .com boom was generating a humongous tax base. He should rightfully recieve credit for having been very responsible with the fruits of the enlarged tax base and lucky inflation rates. He also should get credit for policy that aided in the creation of that humongous tax base.
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I agree with you though. As much as I hate W, I cannot blame all of it on him. I agree that not everyone needs a college degree. Some folks are better off pursuing a trade. Two points on that though. W has had control of the executive branch for going on 7 years. The GOP, however, has had a majority in congress for 12 years. I think, given the length of time for which they have been running the show, it is time for “the party of personal responsiblity” to take credit for a significant part of the problem.
Secondly, Clinton’s record setting fiscal succes further demonstrates the fallicy in GOP fiscal policy. It is when the middle class is very large that we have the most sizeable tax base. It is no suprise or simple coincidence that all 3 of the top 3 deficit spending record holders were republicans. Rather, it is a repeated demonstration that their policy of favoring the top with trickle down economics (by way of tax breaks which very heavily go to the wealthiest) do not work. Additionally, when the middle class is easy to get into and stay in, people will more readily accept that they are not cut out for college and instead pursue a trade. Hopefully the reduced demand would also reduce the cost.
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Mad Davy for president! Piracy will get subsedized! AArgh!
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@madDavy
You may have a good point and it’s hard to resist another reason to hate Bush. A study was done a couple of years ago, that although the stockmarket has a tendency to support republicans that over all the economy has done better with democrats. I don’t know the details but would not doubt it. Sometimes only Nixon can go to China.
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Ok, I won’t get into a political debate tonight.
But W and W alone is responsible for our fucked up economy, and our fucked up school system as of today. Year 2007.
No one else.
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I really really feel like saying that too Lolli, but I have to take a stance which I can support with facts in a debate. I was raised by a federal prosecutor and a professor of constitutional law from THE Ohio State University. I am gonna get off of politics for tonight cuz I realize most people don’t enjoying talking about it at length, but given my background it’s real hard for me to stay off of the topic sometimes. That is a tendancy of mine which has been inflamed lately because of my bitter loathing of W.
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What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t make a difference, it won’t come anyway.
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@Mad and Lolli
2008, the end of an Error
Keep the faith. He won’t be there forever, (I hope)
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Mad Davy Read.
It’s not just a matter of saying that.
I have experience and a real knowledge, of our economy and our school systems.
I wasn’t raised by a professor of constitutional law.
But I bet I could probably debate him quite well.
Get him on tomorrow, when I’m sober, and I’ll discuss.
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On the positive side of things, my son said the word Football today. It made me proud. Now I just have to teach him to say boobs, and to say beer then my work will be done.
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@MadDavy
gotta watch out. Words after ‘Football’ are “our side is better because that’s our side”, god is soon to follow. Hopefully you can indoctrinate him early into FSM.
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Unfortunately he’s in the hospital right now. It’s not serious. He is a pattern migraine sufferer and he’s also allergic to most pain killers. It sucks, but it’s a regular part of his life. That was my opinion anyway. It doesn’t need to be a debate, but I would love to learn what ever you know. I have not had the benefit of the first hand experience that you have. I am always looking to be more informed. So, when I see you around here again tomorrow I would love to hear you expound on your opinion.
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My son and daughter will be raised by a guy with a library full of blasphemy Bill. You can be confident that they will be joining us and the ranks of the damned on Grand Cayman.
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Well, it’s time for me to go give my wife the best 3.5 minutes of her life and then check my eyelids for crack. Nite All. May your dreams include noodliness.
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Hi Mad
I’m sorry. I missed something. I haven’t found a way to search it. And I don’t want to ask bu tI’d like to know and care. So if you don’t mind repeating: Whose in the hospital for migraine?
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@ Mad
argh. Got to wait i guess.
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@bill tomlinson Feb 4th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
@Mad and Lolli
2008, the end of an Error
Keep the faith. He won’t be there forever, (I hope)
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as long as we get rid of cheney.
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@Mad
Good for him. Let’s do a replace of the vice and impeach the pres and do a nixon thing. Who would that be? FrisK?
But the country is in no mood for another impeachment. Grit your teeth, hope he doesn’t do too much damage and hang in there.
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@everyone
A thoughts. It would be interesting if would like to be serious for a minute. What is the probability that god doesN’T exist, in your opinion? I think this could be interesting. Be prepared, I will probably argue against 0 or 100 when not rounded. Anyone interested in discussing this?
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@ bill tomlinson, There is no god.
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@Mad Davy Read, Do bring your debate up tomorrow, I’ll forget if you don’t.
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@Bill. Lolli invited me to bring my father by the site to debate whether our public education woes are entirely W’s fault or not. He is currently in the hospital for migraine. I get them too, but am not allergic to the treatment. It’s not nearly the affliction to me that it is to him. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced a migraine. They are HORRIBLE.
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I told Lolli that the opinion expressed was mine anyhow. I asked if Lolli would please share with me some of the first hand experience in our economy and school system which Lolli has. I have my experiences and a general philosophy of government. They are the result of individual study and of being raised by a federal prosecutor (step-mom) and a professor of constitutional law (dad) from THE Ohio State University. I am not as interested in debating Lolli as I am in hearing about the realities that Lolli can share with me as a result of first hand experience in economy and the school system. That’s the beauty of having a philosophy instead of having an ideaology. I can alter my proposals to incorporate my new learnings. I can alter it when conditions change too, but I can do so while still applying my philosophy. An ideology doesn’t allow those flexibilities.
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So, I am asking Lolli to expound. I love to learn more. It helps me to come up with better and better proposals. That is how one eventually arrives at effective plans. So, I view Lolli as a learning opportunity rather than an adversary for debate.
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It’s my day off. The wife is off to work this morning so I’ll be changing diapers, making bottles of formula, and tooling around on the internets all day. This site and the political blogs will be receiving many a visit and post from the Pirate Davy Read today (I’m not Davy Read on the political blogs, but rather Lockewasright). I hope to see you and Lolli here quite a bit today.
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@everyone who is not Bill or Lolli,
I am also looking forward to sharing time with y’all too. :)
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