wow, this site has to be full of the biggest crackheads i have ever heard of. Idiots claiming a flying spaghetti monster, and more idiots complaining about it, goddamn. let me lay things straight here
1. Spaghetti is a food, i’ll eat your false deity, so screw it, you all can go die
2. The concerned christians who post on this site are just as dumb. who the fuck cares about this little site? you’re only bringing attention to it by posting. and for the record, fuck it i’ll eat you’re deity as well. I hate every last one of you. and i don’t care if i’m feuling your quest for a lower IQ, ffs, you’re all just a bunch of nerds who decided that it might be funny to listen to the crackhead named Bobby Henderson.
anyways, have fun losers, i’m gonna go to my girlfriends house now. i’ll explain what a girlfriend is to you later.
sincerely,
nonsectarian
Hey, just looking at the list of countries, and… I’m from Guatemala, in Alaska as an exchange student at the moment. So add that one on!
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Is it okay if I eat your god? He sounds delicious xD
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Welcome aboard, Jose! I’ve spent some time in Coban, also down on the South Coast and along the border with Belize. Mayan archaeology.
And yes, may the warmth of His Noodly Goodnes forever touch your soul. Pirates cannot live by garlic bread alone. be sure to wash it down with some grog, as well.
RAmen
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Ahhhhh….. I think TLM has returned. Just when I thought I’d finished all the ironing….
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@Greenbeard Jan 28th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
“Forget peer review- Behe and Dembski haven’t produced anything that could withstand an inquisitive six year old.
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True Greenbeard, very true.
RAmen
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@Jose Jan 28th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
“Is it okay if I eat your god? He sounds delicious xD”
Hey there Alaskan Jose. Of course it’s OK to eat spaghettie, as this is considered as taking sacrament. You can’t actually eat the FSM, as He is omnipresent and omniscient. However, partaking of food made in his image is one of the finest forms of worship. (along with drinking beer)
RAmen
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@ Saucy Wench
UnLaughingBoy is so full of himself I think that he would post as himself. This is just a like-minded wannabe who can’t be bothered with a reply to over one hundred posts.
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Einstein is not dead, by the way. He’s quite alive and I was just over at his house for a little get-together with Jim Morrison, Elvis Presley, John Entwistle and Keith Moon as well. Einstein told me (and I quote), “I’ve been a Pastafarian for longer than you’ve been alive; as a matter of fact, the Holy FSM revealed the theory of relativity to me and gave me full permission to call it my own.”
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So THAT should settle some arguments!!
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Well done, Wench Beth. With a band like that it must have been one hell(Grand Cayman) of a party. BTW, did Einstein happen to clear up that string theory controversy?
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Now that I escaped the additivness of World of Warcraft, I’ve returned to my fellow pastafarians! First off, a belated welcome to Alice. Secondly, I’d like to thank nonsectarian for his amusing anecdotes of insecurity and language slaughtering. You’ve filled my heart with much noodly faith.
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I have sampled much in the ways of pasta since my last post, and I return with many tales of booty plundering!
May we all travel to the great spaghetti in the sky.
RAmen
~Brother Rigatoni
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Actually, Captain, I asked Einstein about that and he said that string theory is such holy research that it can only be discussed with His Noodliness himself. I kind of understand why, I mean, spaghetti is the BASIS of string theory. The question I have is, how many strands of spaghetti *are* there??
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Good question, Beth. His Noodliness does work in mysterious ways. I suppose the simple answer would be: as many as it takes. But then I would not presume to speak for Him. Maybe we will never know.
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Welcome back, Brother Rigatoni. We have surely missed your words of wisdom and look forward to your noodley tales.
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why are you so angry man? just chill and be peaceful. there is no need to be so mean, if you dont like it, dont read it. forget about it. dont get all upset. dont tell people to die. thats just a terrible thing to say bro. just be happy and cheer yourself up with some 420 magic. maybe then you wont be so angry.
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@Ralf
Even Jews?
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Blasphamy!!
Shame that some people are out for attention by dirty means like this
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And Jose adds Guatemala, to make it
.
Argentinia
Australia
Belgium
Brazil
Britain
Canada
China
Denmark
France
Germany
Guatemala
Iceland
Ireland
Italy
Mexico
Netherlands
New Zealand
Poland
Russia
South Africa
Spain
Sweden
Switserland
USA
United Arab Emirates
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25 countries! Woohoo!
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George W. Bush and two friends–a Rabbi, and a Hindu holy man–had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
The farmer said, “There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep in the house. So one of you must sleep in the barn.”
“No problem,” chimed the Rabbi. “My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for one evening.” With that he departed to the barn, and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door. There stood the Rabbi from the barn. “What’s wrong?” asked the farmer. He replied, “I am grateful to you, but I just can’t sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn, and my faith believes that is an unclean animal.”
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door. “What’s wrong?” the farmer asks. The Hindu holy man replies, “I, too, am grateful for your helping us out, but there is a cow in the barn. In my country cows are considered sacred and I can’t sleep on holy ground!”
That left only Dubya to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Moments later there was another knock on the farmer’s door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.
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hahahahahaha, funny!
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thats a good one!
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@Johnny Corvette
After absorbing a well-deserved dose of sarcasm and criticism from you and others, there is still the open matter of reaction kinetics of infrequent reactions (from the long flock of dodos thread). Now that various people have reminded me to be a less pompous arse, do you have any serious thoughts on the matter? Do you still maintain that a series of chemical reactions that occur extremely rarely are the sign of a devine hand? If so, could you elaborate a little why that is? Specifically, could you point out where in my jumps analogy you think I am wrong please? If not, then some part that you very strongly believed in must have changed I presum. Is that the case, and if so, does it have any wider implications for your world view?
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@DPG
I would expect that someone could use your argument against you. They could say that the level of activation energy required to foment life could only be the hand of God and is a one time deal. Ie the bar being so high only a divine pole vaulter can get over. My understanding (somewhat loosely connected to my worldview) has indeed been that original life based on two chemicals reacting to an activation energy event is the ONLY inferred theory that precludes the existence of the divine. But as you correctly state it is more my lack of certain knowledge that steers my views. My intelligence penalty points buy me time at the local library and book store.
As far as you being a pompous arse I think it is in your Dutch heritage (wink). All that hagelslag you know.
@The Atheist Revolutionary
“Blasphemy!!
Shame that some people are out for attention by dirty means like this “ – Was that directed to me regarding my comment about freedom of religion for Jews in the UAE? I was asking a valid question. In several mid east countries the Jewish religion is banned by the state. I believe the UAE as well but I am not sure.
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I read a book when i was a child called Grandma And The Pirates. it is a story about a Grandma who makes delicious noodles. the smell of pasta attacts pirates, and they take the pasta and the grandma to make her make more.
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Surly there is not a single children’s book as holy as this one, for it contains bothe Pirates and Pasta, and Pirates eating Pasta. here is a link that mentions the book.
http://www.phoebegilman.com/grandma.html
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i can only imagine Jews in UAE countries would be on the receiving end of an anrgy mob in very short order.
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Hm….yes, don’t think they’d be too welcome there. Might explain why there’s all of five of them in the UAE.
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hi guys
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Hi Saide. You’re most welcome to join in the fun. I’m one of the quiet ones here and tend to keep myself to myself so don’t worry if you’re shy.
Hope to see you soon.
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Just wondering, given this guy’s genes are better out of the pool…
If he were to say this to either one of us or a xian, and we removed his genes from the pool, would he count for a Darwin Award?
I mean, HE is the one asking for it. He is THAT dumb to come here with those comments.
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Girlfriend? MMmmm, no offence to the ladies, but aren’t one of those things that steal all your money, stop you going out and force you to living life the exact way they tell you to?
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You’ll eat the christian diety? I heard Jesus had more of a foot fetish. After the resurection (more like reanimation) he just wanders around looking for the flesh of the living. That is the whole confusion about the Transubstantiation. See the ramblings of St. Ash Williams to get a better idea of how it all comes together.
BTW, I’d eat the FSM’s meat balls any day!
RAmen!
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“i’m gonna go to my girlfriends house now. i’ll explain what a girlfriend is to you later.”
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nonsectarian, It’s later please do explian.
But I don’t want to hear about Rosie Redpalms, or her sister Stacy Fourfingers.
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@Wench Beth Jan 28th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
If you saw Elvis place did you ask him if he’d seen Osama Bin Laden?
When I was round Einsteins he explained to me that the Flying Spaghetti Monsters Noodly Appendages undulating across the vast expanses of space where his primary inspiration for gravitational waves.
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To Captain N.S…. no, sorry, I didn’t ask about our pal Osama, but I’m sure His Holiness has Osama trussed up in noodles somewhere.
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Wow, it’s amazing how all of our highly researched, well thought-out theories of physics are simply the work of the FSM. He is truly great. I had some killer pasta last night in His honor. Yum!
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@DutchPastaGuy, @Jingles
Nice list of different countries. However, I noticed that Switzerland is spelled wrongly (just a little bit). I just wanted to make sure that the FSM, after typing the name into google earth, finds the location correctly to bless us with his benevolent appendages.
P.S. I didn’t want to imply that the Delicious One is dependend on IT technology, but considering the small size of the country (and the unpredictable eruptions of the beer volcano), I wanted to be on the safe side.
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Bigger than Ireland
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MY BAD!
Sorry lasses, I made a very wrong comment about girlfriends earlier.
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I meant vicars and priests. It’s so easy to confuse, given all the other similarities.
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@Wench Beth- Of course! All scientific theories are influenced by his noodly appendage, just like everything else.^_^ With all the evidence out there, I can’t understand how anyone has doubt.
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Hi you all! Here’s another guy from Spain.
It’s sad to see there are a lot of people like nonsectarian who can’t just think about what they’re saying. He contradicts himself a lot of times.
That’s why I like pastafarianism. It encourages people to think by themselves.
Oh, and Argentina is wrong spelled in the list, too…
Take care ;)
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Damn, his scathing mention of his left hand as “girlfriend” has caused me to become introspective and insecure. Might as well turn to another false idol and regain my sense of cosmic placement through self-delusion, because, ya know, he obviously just ate my previous idol.
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He ate my deity? That’s cool, I ate his girlfriend. Yummy.
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Okay Im not dissing your guyses religion but how can a food be a god?
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Hey, don’t look at me. I just cut and pasted. I even fixed up the double t that was in Britain.
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But for all you militant copy editors out there (where is Starbuckaneer anyway?)…
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Argentina
Australia
Belgium
Brazil
Britain
Canada
China
Denmark
France
Germany
Guatemala
Iceland
Ireland
Italy
Mexico
Netherlands
New Zealand
Poland
Russia
South Africa
Spain
Sweden
Switzerland
United Arab Emirates
USA
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@ Nikki
Humans created spaghetti in the image of the FSM as a tribute to His Noodly Goodness. Friday is our Holy Day in which great quantities of noodles and the sauce of your choice, along with beer (or the beverage of your choice) are consumed in a manner similar to that of communion. With food comes warmth, with warmth comes hope, and with hope all things are possible.
RAmen
MJK
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My tears of joy were eclipsed only by prolonged bursts of hilarity. Kindred spirits all, and full of piratey goodness.
My stance on the bearded fulminator in the sky has been as follows:
The idea of God sacrificing himself to himself
in order to prevent himself sending us all to hell
for committing sins because of the way he made us,
and which he knew we were going to do anyway,
is a little hard to swallow
I was so thoroughly disenchanted by my 11+ years in Baptist (Southern Baptist hellfire & brimstone no less) school that I was on the verge of starting my own religion – but I think yours might be even better than The Church of Reformed Satan.
We had a wicked tag-line all worked out though: The Church of Reformed Satan – doing good in the name of evil, ’cause god is just not working out….
Maybe you pirate people should work on some sound bite (ravioli-sized) messages for the great unwashed masses – they of admittedly short attention span – to further the reach of His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen
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@PlagueChicken
“The idea of God sacrificing himself to himself in order to prevent himself sending us all to hell for committing sins because of the way he made us, and which he knew we were going to do anyway, is a little hard to swallow”
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What a beautiful nutshell.
Welcome home PlagueChicken :)
RAmen
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@Nikki (non-wench)
(Jokingly) How can a food be a god? Very easily! He’s omnipotent and can be whatever he wants.
In all seriousness, this webpage is meant to be a satire that reduces intelligent design theory down to an argument that is intended to be ludicrous. The goal is to state that even though a theory is internally consistent, it is not necessarily scientific, and it does not necessarily deserve to be taught it public schools. The argument on behalf of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is intended to mirror the traditional arguments for Intelligent Design theory. Most of us do not worship pasta, although many of us enjoy devouring it in large quantities in as a “sacrament†and typing in pirate voices.
-Avatar of Reason, or rather, Avatarrrrrrr of Reason
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Why is this religon, and it’s God for that matter, so awesome? And is the FSM made of pure w1n?
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Christian bases:
1st base: praying together
2nd base: lighting candles together
3rd base: holding hands
home run: crucifying her
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In view of the personal criticisms of us made by the hate mailers I would like to say that I am 54 years old, educated to post-graduate (masters) level, attended 2 universities, work for the emergency services, am straight and have lived with the same wench for over 25 years without getting married as I don’t see why the state or a non existent god should tell me how to live my life. I suspect that these are achievements which will be common to Pastafarians but utterly unachievable by our detractors. So come on hate mailers tell us what wonderful things you have achieved in your lives before you start criticising other peoples’ right to live as they see fit.
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Well said.
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RAmen!
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Ahoy there mates, Im new to this whole FSM thing, just checkin it out today, sounds pretty good to me, a hell of a lot more believable then half the crap any mainstream religion is gonna force down my throat. By the by, just out of curiosity, how many fellow Pastafarians are Australian? Also, do i have to get baptised or anything, coz a dip in a swimming pool of pasta sauce is damn tempting
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OKAY OKAY.
I ADMIT IT.
I have no girlfriend! -sobs-
No. Wait.
I forgot. I have four. Silly me.
And is it just me, or does the hatemail always involve girlfriends? Are all wenches here automatically presumed to be lesbians? I, for one, have a BOYfriend (as well as the aforementioned girlfriends), and he’s a Pastafarian – which renders your point, sir, completely moot.
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Also. You seem to have a lot of hate. Does someone need a big fat Noodly hug? -outstretches arms with a manic grin-
RAmen.
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@ojthepirate
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Hahaha! Nice!
RAmen.
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